Little Lady Briana: Chapters

Wedged between Melody and Gary in her car seat, Briana was far too restrained by her harness for how bouncy she was feeling. They were finally getting to see Mom in action as a witch! Not only that, but they were on a road trip, too. The journey had taken them out of town but away from the highways, onto smaller roads that passed fancy houses with big yards. From there, they took a gravel road up a hill, with trees packed so closely that they went slap, slap, slap against the car’s mirrors.

Briana couldn’t decide what was more exciting, the box of ritual stuff her mom had packed into the trunk, the box of donuts from Klemm’s – which Dad had driven two hours to pick up, or the fact that she’d convinced both Melody and Gary to come to the event. Melody had immediately said no when they were first asked. Like a good girl, Briana hadn’t asked again but hadn’t stopped talking about it either. Her sib’s progression from rolling their eyes to asking questions to grudgingly agreeing to go had been some of the most fun Briana had had with Melody in a while.

In contrast, Gary had been an easy one. Ava was out of town visiting her parents after the disaster at the Green Fairy, so there was no choice to be made between boyfriend and girlfriend. As usual, Briana’s bestest boy was up for anything, though he checked with Veronica to make sure it was okay for him to come along.

“Mom, you said there was going to be dancing, right?” Briana bounced as mightily as her car seat straps would allow. Gary tickled Briana out of her bouncing and into an equally energetic squirm.

“There will be a maypole dance that’s part of the ritual itself, yes.” Veronica looked back from the front passenger’s seat, smiling. “After the ritual, people are free to dance as much as they’d like, and we often do, at Beltane.”

“Mommy, I’m so excited. When do we get there?!”

“Technically, you didn’t say, “Are we there yet?”, but you know that was the same thing,” Veronica smirked. “Gary, Melody, you know what to do.”

“Nooo!” Briana giggled wildly as she was tickled from both sides by her boyfriend and sibling. By the time they relented, she was a contrite Little girl with slightly soggy pants.

Dad rounded a final curve on the road and pulled their car onto a gravel parking strip at the edge of a beautiful meadow. At the center of a circle of clipped grass, brilliant streamers flapped in the wind from the crown of a carved wooden pole. Beyond the cut grass area, the meadow was wild with tall grasses and sprawling patches of wildflowers. The lawn itself didn’t look like it had been mowed with a machine; the grass was ankle-deep, long enough for clover to thrive uncut.

There were people in quirky, colorful outfits on the lawn, setting up what looked like four metal firepits, though only one had wood stacked in it. The tree branches bordering the meadow were decorated with flowers and what looked like packages of baked goods wrapped in colorful cellophane. Someone was singing along to another person’s harp playing. Universally, the people in the meadow were smiling and laughing in obvious good spirits.

It took an eternity for Gary to get out of the car and release Briana from her car seat straps. When her sparkly pink shoes touched gravel, she scampered away to greet a woman in a green dress with yellow leaves printed on it. The woman had long black hair with wavy streaks of gray throughout. Age-wise, Briana placed her somewhere between Mom and Grandma, with mid-forties as a solid guess.

Briana had chosen her most spring-like outfit for the occasion: a creamy yellow blouse under a baby blue overall dress and sparkly white tights. Her red hair was coiled up by a glitter-encrusted wire with plastic flowers Briana had glued on herself. She grinned at the woman, hoping her blush was properly sparkling in the sunlight, and offered her hand.

“Hello! I’m Briana!”

“Welcome, Briana! I’m Madison, but I’m known as Ashen Wolf in the coven. I’ll happily answer to either.” She shook Briana’s hand and pulled the Little girl forward for a kiss on both cheeks. “Thank you for brightening our Beltane with your very sparkly presence. Blessed be.”

“Thank you for inviting me!” Briana performed a quick turn to show off the spinniness of her skirt and crashed into her Mom’s arms.

“Ashen Wolf, Blessed Beltane.” Veronica firmly but warmly contained Briana with a hug. “I see my daughter precedes me.”

“Blessed Beltane, Moonshadow.” Ashen Wolf kissed Veronica on her right cheek. “She’s every bit as darling as you told us she would be.”

“Is that your coven name, Mom? Moonshadow?” Briana squirmed out of her mom’s grasp, only to be lifted into Gary’s arms with a squeal of delight.

“The witch’s name I chose is The Witch of Moonlight Shadows, but that’s a lot to say in casual conversation, so my coven often calls me Moonshadow.” Veronica motioned to a man in a green and white ballet outfit with a skirt like daisy petals. “Dancer in the Autumn Mist is another one who went for a phrase name, but we usually call him Dancer.”

“I want to meet everybody!” Briana threw her arms out expansively.

“So mote it be.” Ashen Wolf winked mischievously. “Do you mind if I introduce our newcomers while you set up, Moonshadow?”

“Not at all. I’ll introduce them to you since they’re a touch more restrained than Briana. This is Gary, Briana’s boyfriend, and this is Melody, my child. Briana’s pronouns are She/Her, Gary’s are He/Him, and Melody’s are They/Them.”

“Wonderful to meet you both. You may have heard, but I’m Ashen Wolf or Madison. She/Her.” Ashen Wolf motioned to the clearing. “Now that you’re here, we have all our participants, so it’s a perfect time to introduce you.”

While they traveled around the circle, Mom and Dad produced the donuts they’d brought to oohs and ahhs from the coven. Regally elevated on Gary’s hip, Briana met the coven members in twos and threes. There was Dancer, Sapphire Sky, and Sage of the Rushing Rivers, who went by Sage. It’d been Sapphire Sky playing the harp and Sage singing. Sapphire Sky’s dress style was non-binary, to go with their They/Them pronouns. Briana was excited to see Melody perk up at Sapphire Sky’s short hair and masculine clothes that nicely complimented their earrings and makeup. Briana and Melody shared a grin when Sapphire excused themselves to check out the donuts.

They met Lapis River and Frost Willow, who were blessing a bowl of water on the West side of the lawn. Briana was excited to see them casting salt into a candle flame during their incantation but noticed that Melody looked uncomfortable. She wished she could give her sib a quick hug, but there was no getting out of Gary’s arms, and anyway, Briana was having a lot of fun being carried.

Birch Bark and Kukui Pueo were lighting a pile of incense in the firepit on the East side of the clearing. By far the youngest of the Coven, Birch Bark was younger than Briana’s Big self, probably in her first year of college, if she was in school. In contrast, Kukui Pueo had an ageless face that could have belonged to a twenty-year-old woman or a fifty-year-old in excellent health.

“Is it okay if I ask what your name means, Kukui Pueo?” Briana was glad she’d managed to get the accent close to the pronunciation she’d heard from the woman.

“It’s Hawaiian. The Kukui is what you’d call a Candlenut tree, and Pueo is our owl. Both the tree and the bird are associated with wisdom and the spiritual realm in Hawaii.” Kukui Pueo pronounced Hawaii as Ha-Vai-Ee, which Briana resolved to work on doing herself, but not without some practice.

“You must be a very wise witch then!” Briana said excitedly.

“She is.” Birch Bark said, looking reverently at Kukui.

“Maybe.” Kukui Pueo shrugged and laughed. “All I can claim is that I’ve asked the Kukui and Pueo to bless me with some of their wisdom.”

“What’s the incense for? Are you going to do a blessing on it like they were doing on the other side for the water?” Melody’s blurted-out question was a mild surprise to the witches but a big one for Briana. They didn’t look more at ease than at the water ritual; if anything, Melody was more agitated.

Be cool, Sib! These people aren’t like the mean religious people your mom used to hang out with.

“We have representations of four classic elements at each cardinal direction.” Birch Bark said. “It’s not as easy to contain air as fire, water, or earth, so we put incense here to mark the East.”

“The incantation is a simple cleansing spell with fire, water, salt, and breath from our bodies,” Kukui Pueo added. “It’s a short and easy chant to learn; you’re welcome to participate.”

“No, that’s okay,” Melody said quickly.

Gary nodded. “I’d like to watch if that’s alright.” Briana nodded along with Gary, not wanting to be the only one joining in.

“Of course,” Kukui Pueo said. “Birch Bark, would you like to speak the incantation?”

Birch Bark was eager, kneeling before the incense brazier with a candle in a small water dish. “Salt and Water, Visible and Invisible, Self and World, be cleansed!”

Kukui Pueo dashed salt across the candle flame, causing a tiny spark before the crystals fell into the water. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and breathing across the candle as Birch Bark continued the incantation.

“By the Living Goddess, the Goddess who is the Merciful Huntress, and the Goddess who is born anew, I cast out everything harmful in this offering. By the Fertile Goddess of the Field, with the Horned God intertwined, let our offering take in the healing essence of life.”

Birch Bark took a deep breath. Joyous concentration was written on her face as she loudly proclaimed, “So mote it be!”

“Beautifully done, Birch Bark.” Kukui Pueo kissed Birch Bark on the cheek. “Is that the new incantation you’ve been working on?”

“Yes.” Birch Bark blew out the candle and stood. “It took me a while to find the words that express cleansing to me.”

“You’ll have to share it in detail at the next esbat; I think it’s a good candidate to update our cleansing incantation,” Kukui Pueo said, to which Birch Bark beamed proudly.

“So you just make up whatever you want?” Melody asked, frowning.

“I suppose that depends on where you think creativity comes from.” Kukui Pueo seemed unbothered by Melody’s abrupt question, but Birch Bark was frowning back at Melody. “If you think it comes from inside us, then yes, we create incantations that match the feelings we experience in our rituals. If inspiration from the outside is something you believe in, then the Goddess gives us those words.”

“But which one is it?” Melody bit their lip, looking as upset as they did during an argument. “Which way is the right way?”

“Both and neither,” Kukui Pueo said gently. “Wicca isn’t about right answers or dogma. It’s about each witch finding her own way to truth and love. The right answer for any witch is the answer that’s right for her. There are wrong ways for witches to treat and interact with others, but no wrong way for us to have a relationship with the Goddess, as long as we’re being honest about that connection.”

Melody did not look satisfied with that explanation, but the petulance had left their tone when they asked, “What’s today’s big ritual about? What are we supposed to be feeling?”

“Beltane is about new beginnings, nature’s renewal, and physical love,” Ashen Wolf said. “Did your mother explain what will happen during the ritual?”

“She said we’ll listen to an incantation, pick a ribbon while saying something about what the color means to us, and then dance.” Melody crossed their arms uncomfortably.

“Knowing Moonshadow, she told you more than once that you don’t have to participate, but I’ll reiterate that now,” Ashen Wolf said. “It’s alright to be uncomfortable if you’re willing to challenge that discomfort. If you’re opposed to participating, please don’t join in, as you’ll sour the energy of the ritual.”

“I want to – but I don’t understand all this moon logic. I – I’m worried I’ll be a fail-witch.” Melody’s face was beet red. Briana sat in Gary’s arms with her mouth hanging open. Of all the things she’d expected from her sibling, an intense desire to ensure they correctly participated wasn’t one of them.

“You’re worried about making a mistake?” Birch Bark asked, her frown cleared by an understanding smile. “No problem, we have a protocol for that. If you make a mistake, laugh and keep going. You’re not responsible for a critical part of the ritual, so any mistakes you make are just an opportunity for humor, which is important today anyway.”

“That’s right.” Kukui Pueo said. “We believe every person has three selves; the most important for Beltane is the Younger Self. That’s the self of intuition, emotion, laughter, and impulsivity.”

“So the younger self is basically my sister?” Melody smirked. “See, Bri? Even Witches think you’re a baby.”

Briana giggled. “Then I am a very special guest today!”

Ashen Wolf laughed along with Briana. “You are indeed. It looks like we’re starting soon. Melody, do you have anything else to ask before the ritual begins?”

“No – I think I’ve got it. Can I stand next to Briana when we do the thing?” Melody took Briana’s hand tightly, giving their sister a relieved squeeze when the witches assured them they could stand next to anyone they wanted.

~~~*~~~

The final preparations consisted mainly of arranging everyone in a circle. Briana had Ashen Wolf on her right side and Melody to her left. Gary had been shuffled a few places away as the circle came together, which was fine because she could see his face that way. Importantly, Melody had Mom on their other side. Despite their earlier joke about Briana being the Younger Self incarnate, Melody looked nervous again.

Dancer lead the group through a simple breathing exercise, encouraging them to breathe with their bellies. Briana took in air deeply through her nose and exhaled hard through her mouth until she was lightheaded. Mom looked perfectly serene and in her element. Kukui Pueo might have said there were three selves, but Mom seemed to have a lot more than that. There was Mom, the most important of her selves as far as Briana was concerned, and the one the Little girl knew best. But there was Veronica, the competent academic woman as well. There was her mom’s political face and the soft younger sister’s face she showed to Aunt Kiara and Grandma. At the start of the Beltane ritual, Briana saw a new Veronica in her mom’s intense gaze and calm face. That had to be Moonshadow, the woman that all the interesting people Briana had met today obviously respected and loved.

Suddenly, Kukui Pueo spoke up, her voice carrying across the clearing like a trained orator. “The Wheel of the Year has brought us to the time when the earth bursts with flowers, when the green shoots rise unhindered, and the sun’s warmth reaches to the core of ourselves. Euphoria and Desire will meet in you as the Maiden of Spring meets with the Lord of the Waxing Year. As nature is renewed, we are rejuvenated and reunited with the feckless and earnest youth of our self. Dance with your heart. Sing with your life force. Listen to the world. The Goddess is coming!”

Mom – Moonshadow – drew a shining knife with a silver handle from her dress’s belt and cut it across the air over the incense brazier. “Hail, Heralds of the East, singers upon the wind! We invoke you by name: Arianrhod, Nihil, Anu, Senuna. Come and dance with us! By fire and air, salt and water, your place is prepared.”

A quarter turn across the circle, Sapphire Sky pulled a dull iron knife from their belt and sliced it across the fire pit. “Hail, Artisans of the South, powers of transformation! We invoke you by name: Brigid, Hestia, Nusku, Gibil. Come and dazzle us with your gifts! By fire and air, salt and water, your place is prepared.”

 Birch Bark had a chef’s knife in her hand; she waved it across the water bowl. “Hail, Lifegivers of the West, bearers of the eternal womb! We invoke you by name: Boann, Rán, Amphitrite, Nanshe. Come and renew the world with us! By fire and air, salt and water, your place is prepared.”

Sage gestured with an old pocket knife over the bowl Briana remembered had dirt or sand in it. “Hail, Guardians of the North, welcoming hosts of the natural world! We invoke you by name: Danu, Jord, Ninmah, Ki. Come and feel the rhythm our bodies make upon the earth! By fire and air, salt and water, your place is prepared.”

Kukui Pueo spoke again; the intensity of her incantation raised hairs on Briana’s arms. “The circle is cast. We are between the worlds where clay meets dreams. The Goddess is in us, we are her. In perfect love, and perfect trust, we begin our ritual.” Veronica turned to Sapphire and kissed them on the lips. Sapphire passed the kiss to Jane, who passed it sunward – the witchy word for clockwise – around the circle until Ashen Wolf kissed Briana, and she passed the kiss to her sibling. Melody closed the circle by kissing their mom’s cheek.

“Take a ribbon and say what the color means to you. Dance with us. Let our bodies and the ribbons bring our power together until it is wrapped as a gift for all assembled.” Veronica reached for a pale yellow ribbon and said, “I choose a soft yellow for the new dawn in my life.”

Other people stepped forward from their places in the circle without any apparent order. Some of them were as poetic as Veronica was in her Moonshadow self. Others, like Ashen Wolf, gave invocations as simple as “I choose blood red for my health.”

Briana looked at Melody, who seemed as nervous to step forward as she felt. More than half the circle had chosen ribbons already. With an encouraging smile at her sib, Briana dashed forward and grabbed a bright blue ribbon that matched Melody’s hair. “I choose blue, for the sibling I didn’t know I needed, until they were already part of my heart.”

Melody smiled and blushed, like the cutie Briana knew they always were, no matter how gruff or gamery they pretended to be sometimes. More people took up ribbons until only Dad and Melody were left. Dad gave Melody an encouraging nod, and Melody stumbled forward. Their hand hesitated over the last two red and green ribbons. They took the green one and, in a shaky voice, said, “I choose green for growth.”

Briana could tell there was a lot behind Melody’s simple sentence, which made her want to listen to everyone repeat their choices so she could re-evaluate the simple ones. That wasn’t how the ritual worked, though. Dad already had the red ribbon in her hand, and she spoke as simply as Melody. “I choose red for love.”

Sage began singing, joined by Lapis and Dancer. Participants raised bells, tambourines, and other noisemakers all over the circle. On the heels of the music, the dance began. Despite Mom’s explanation of the dance, Briana had been worried that she wouldn’t know what to do. In practice, it was easy. She spun arm in arm with Melody, laughing, then stomped her way in and out of the people dancing in the other direction. On the next round of spinning, she had Gary as a partner, and it was on to weaving their ribbons once again. In far too short a time, the ribbons were tight against the maypole.

Briana spun away from the pole, not ready to stop dancing yet. To her delight, no one else was either! She grabbed Gary and pranced joyfully with him, squealing when he lifted her and spun her around. The music continued, and the dancing did, too. Even Melody was still dancing, though they looked embarrassed.

“Melody!” Briana grabbed her sib’s hands and danced with them and Gary in a circle until they were both laughing like idiots. Everyone was laughing, spinning, and generally letting themselves be silly. Mom and Dad were switching between traditional folk dancing and twerking their butts at each other, which sent the entire circle into helpless laughter.

Laughter replaced the song they’d danced to, but the bells lasted as long as people’s bellies were quivering. When quiet settled on the group, Veronica put out her hands. One by one, people linked up with smaller groups, joining together until the circle was reformed, with everyone standing in different places.

“We renew ourselves with laughter, with youth, and with play,” Veronica said. “Let us take a quiet moment in this power to feel the roots of our past that have led us to this place. For persons loved by the members of this circle who are not here or who are absent, we bring your memory into our circle. Friends far away and family who have gone on to the worlds invisible, we breathe the world’s new life into your names. In the Goddess and in our hearts, you are present, and you live forever.”

The circle fell silent. Melody closed their eyes. Hastily, Briana did as well. Almost everyone important to her was present, except for Ava. It felt weird to focus on her girlfriend when she was holding Gary’s hand, so she added the friends and temporary siblings she’d known in her chaotic days as a foster kid. Those days had been hard, but there had been good people around who helped her get to the family she had now. With a happy sigh and misty eyes, Briana embraced each of them in her mind. She couldn’t help but steal a kiss from her memory of Ava, but she knew Gary wouldn’t mind.

“Come back to us. Come back to the circle. Wonderful friends and beloved companions, we have raised the Goddess in our midst. We release the circle now, but the Goddess is here, always. Together, we rejoice and live, and most of all, we feast!” Veronica ended her incantation with a laugh.

Briana opened her eyes to see Veronica ritually cutting the air with her dagger – which she’d said was called an athame – at the south point of the circle. Kukui, Frost, and Birch cut the other cardinal directions at the same time. A change rippled through the participants; Briana could feel the built-up energy of the ritual released.

“Grab a donut or anything else you want.” Sapphire shamelessly jogged to a tree to grab the jelly donut they’d been eyeing since Veronica opened the boxes.

The rest of the celebration was a delightfully casual time of eating, dancing, and chatting. Though no one in the coven seemed like a serious or grim person in their regular life, they were obviously having a good time being more silly and playful than usual. Several coven members leapt over the fire pit, shouting things they wanted to leave behind them, like they were making new year’s resolutions. Briana’s begging to jump over the fire herself got her a swat on the butt from Mom, but a playful one. The mood was too good to ruin with a tantrum, so Briana accepted her Little status and let the fire thing go.

The vibe – as Melody would say – was so playful that Briana felt comfortable enough to crawl around in the grass. No one seemed to mind; in fact, Dancer joined Briana in crawling and helped her start an impromptu game of crawling tag. The game ended with the participants and those watching laughing as they lay about in the grass.

Briana was unsurprised to need a diaper change toward the end of the celebration. What was a surprise was that Melody was popped into the car alongside her, getting a change from Mom while Dad changed Briana. In response to Briana’s questioning look, Melody blushed and threaded their fingers through Briana’s.

“It’s like – today’s about the Younger Self, or whatever. You were having fun being Little, so I, um – I wanted to be more Little, too.”

“I’m glad you had such a good time, sib.” Briana kissed Melody on the cheek, making her sib more bashful and their smile bigger.

Despite the bulge it put in their shortalls, Melody didn’t object to having their pullup swapped for a diaper. Hand in hand with Briana, they rejoined the coven for another bout of silly dancing. When the coven began cleaning up, Briana still wanted more, but not too much more. It’d been a fantastic afternoon from start to finish. She watched as their braided ribbons were cut off the pole and discovered that the wrapped ribbons would be hung in the coven’s main ritual space for the coming year.

While Ashen Wolf and Melody put the fire out properly, Briana danced around the maypole, scattering the Earth offering around the grass. As per Mom’s instructions, she left a handful to combine with a like amount of fire ash, incense, and water. The mixture went into a cool pink bottle that Frost Willow sealed with cork and wax. Cool things were happening all over the lawn, and wonderful people were gathered – especially Birch Bark, who snuck Briana the last donut.

Briana generously shared her donut with Melody and Gary on the ride back. The car was buzzing with conversation about the Beltane celebration, which should have amped up Briana’s already intense excitement. Instead, the gentle rocking of the car on gravel and her impending sugar crash had Briana napping before the car reached a paved road.

She woke at home, snuggled up to Gary on the living room couch. With a happy sigh, Briana stretched and kissed her boyfriend. “Hi, sexy boy. Did you have fun today?”

“I did, though I know for sure now that joining a coven won’t be my kind of thing. I’d be up for going to another seasonal festival.”

“I dunno if I want to be a witch or not.” Briana squirmed into a straddling position on Gary’s lap, discovering a substantial squish in her diaper. “Do you think Melody had fun? I think they did.”

“I think they did, but I’m not sure if they’ll go to another one.” Gary patted Briana’s rear. “What do you say we get you changed and ready for dinner?”

“Okay! Are you babysitting me today? Can I sleep over at your place?”

“Yes, and yes, baby girl.” Gary gave Briana a long, slow kiss that left her as blushy as Melody had been during their diaper change. “If you hadn’t asked, I was going to.”

“Then carry me upstairs, babysitter boy!” Briana grinned. “Oh, I want to wear a new outfit at dinner.”

“I’m surprised your Mom and Dad can keep up with your laundry, you little clothes horse.” Gary chuckled as he hefted Briana up.

“I have to do my OWN laundry.” Briana declared proudly.

“I guess you can change outfits as much as you want.”

Clinging to her boyfriend’s warm chest, Briana made a soft, happy noise. She’d wanted to see her Mom’s religion in action since she’d heard that Mom was a witch, and the result had been more fun than Briana could have imagined. To have it followed up by a sleepover at Gary’s sealed the day as a super awesome one. I can’t wait for the next witch thing! I hope Mom lets me go next month, too!