Getting Little (Full Book)

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Sarita has a terrible job, a demanding cat, and a reputation as the Taco-Truck-Fire Girlfriend stalling her love life.

When a new friend literally falls on Sarita, she decides to tag along to a fetish club. The club has some interesting patrons, one of which is hitting on Sarita right away.

Sarita's new date's kink is ABDL, Adult Baby Diaper Lover. Sarita's never heard of it, but she surprises her date and herself when she decides to give it a try.

After all, it's something completely new. When your last relationship ended in a taco truck fire, new sounds amazing!

  • Getting Little: Chapter 1

    In a little New England city that was notable for it’s toy stores, unusual Greek societies, and sturdy changing tables in public restrooms; Sarita Castro was having a terrible day in the fakest clothing store in the world.

    GrrlPower advertised itself as selling clothes for women of every shape. What they actually did was carry one extra size, bringing their selection all the way up to size 14. The interior design of the store and its advertising was just as ‘edgy’, with one more splash of color than one of those ‘stogy’ brands would dare to put on.

    In the store’s office, even that thin layer of attitude was stripped away. It was the most corporate, low rent, fluorescent-lit place Sarita had ever seen. The cubicle wall that held up her boss’s desk was yellowed from what Sarita hoped was age. That desk was covered in stacks of motivational posters, old meeting agendas, and procedure binders to micromanage every aspect of working in the store.

    “You know the mission statement Sarita, I know you do. Let’s say it together.” Britt, her manager, said.

    “To create trend-hitting clothing and accessories that empower women’s inner worlds, while giving back to our community.” Sarita said listlessly, horrified as always that this was something taking up precious space in her brain.

    “Come on, be passionate about it!” Britt said. “We have to live our mission statement, or it’ll never come true.”

    “I’m on board.” Sarita said, forcing a smile.

    There was absolutely no chance of the mission statement coming true, no matter how much Britt or anyone else worshipped it. Sarita had never seen a single item in the store that matched current trends. Every outfit was bland and inoffensive. If there were any women who’s inner worlds were empowered by GrrlPower’s clothing line, Sarita hoped that they got some professional help, soon.

    “I know you say you’re on board, but I’m not seeing one hundred and ten percent from you.” Britt said. “This is the third time we’ve talked about this. We need positivity and energy in the front. You can do this, you were such a bright spark when we hired you! Can you commit to bringing that GrrlPower energy to work tomorrow?”

    “Yeah, I can do it.” Sarita said.

    She stretched her fake smile into a grimace. Britt never noticed how bad her smile was. Her boss’s own smile was even worse. It looked nice, but never reached her eyes.

    “I believe in you, but I have to put this down as a verbal warning at this point. Two more of those and I’ll have to put you on a Performance Improvement Plan, understand?”

    “I’ve got it.”

    “Okay, then it’s a fresh start tomorrow. You can head out. Don’t worry about clocking out, I clocked you out before our conversation started.”

    Sarita bit her lip to keep a scream or a sob down. She wasn’t sure which one was threatening to come out, but either one would get her a second written warning right now. There wasn’t any point in complaining about having her time illegally cut either. That’d be a trip straight to the PIP.

    She collected her purse from the locker and sighed at the coffee stain on her sweater and pants. They were the two best pieces of work attire she had. The last customer of the day had managed to hit both of them when she spilled her coffee across the counter. Sarita hadn’t even yelled at her. Simply checking the woman out unenthusiastically had earned Sarita the write-up.

    Out on the street, Sarita jogged a few steps away from the staff door. For a couple of months now she’d been shifting automatically into a run as soon as she left work. Something in her body needed to get away from there as quickly as possible.

    Me too body, me too. Sarita thought.

    Checking her bank balance was depressing, but necessary. Sarita needed something to keep this day from ending with her sobbing into her pillow.  As usual, that something would be a drink at the Plush Pony. The number Sarita’s phone showed said she could have one drink, or one nice drink and one cheap one if she skipped breakfast and coffee tomorrow.

    Sorry, future-Sarita. She thought. I need this.

    The smell of stale beer and fried food smelled more like home than home did, these days. Sarita wound her way through the nervous first-timers at the door and around the hardcore players clustered around the bar’s single, dingy pool table. Her seat was open at the bar. It was, sadly, the first thing that had gone right that day.

    “Tough day, kiddo?” asked Ineis.

    Sarita rolled her eyes at the bartender. Ineis never let her forget she was the bar’s youngest regular. It didn’t help that Ineis was old enough to be Sarita’s mom, or that she’d lived through all kinds of intense gay struggle stuff that Sarita was glad she didn’t have to deal with.

    “I’m twenty three in two months.” Sarita said. “And yeah, it was horrible.”

    “I haven’t seen a face that sad on you since you broke up with…”

    “We don’t say her name.” Sarita folded her arms on the bar and laid her head on them.

    “That wound has got to close some day mija.” Ineis said, ruffling Sarita’s hair.

    “No it doesn’t. Give me a fishbowl beer.” Sarita said grumpily.

    Stupid Ineis. Now on top of everything else she was thinking about Felisa. The girl that had burned down both a taco truck and Sarita’s desire to date. Felisa had said after both disasters that it was an accident, but that didn’t help the Espina family or Sarita’s heart.

    Ineis slid over a small fishbowl that held about a glass and a half of beer. Sarita took a big gulp and sighed.

    “I’m not supposed to say this to regulars, but I worry about you, Sarita. Don’t drown your sorrows too much, okay?”

    “I only have money for this and one fancy drink tonight.” Sarita said. “Can’t get blitzed even if I wanted to.”

    “That plus one drink is a lot for you, depending on what you order. Be careful, okay?”

    “I will.” Sarita looked up at Ineis and smiled softly. “Thanks for looking out for me.”

    “Somebody has to. A mí me toca.” Ineis said. “There’s a lot of new people in the bar tonight. Folks that you haven’t blown off yet. You could try your luck with somebody to laugh with.”

    “I’m just here to look, no hablar ni tocar.” Sarita said, taking another gulp of her fishbowl.

    “Official Plush Pony birdwatcher, huh?” Ineis winked.

    “Please don’t tease too much today.” Sarita said. It came out more pitifully than she’d intended.

    “I’m sorry mija.” Ineis leaned over the bar and squeezed Sarita’s arm. “I’ve got thirsty people at the other end of the bar but I’ll come back and chat with you later, okay?”

    Sarita nodded. Another gulp of her beer went down fast. It was a ‘gulp and wait a while’ beer for sure. Volume was the draw on the fishbowls. While she waited for that to settle, Sarita’s gaze wandered across the bar.

    There were some new people for sure. Two very distinct groups of them. Rowdy butch girls had taken over the dance floor. Some more femme girls were set up at one of the Pony’s few tables. Lots of pretty new ladies at a nice safe distance. Best of all, they weren’t paying attention to anything outside their groups. Sarita could gaze dreamily at them without the worry of being caught staring.

    The nice view and Sarita’s stress had her packing away the fishbowl faster than she’d ever finished one. Sarita knew better than to order another drink right away. She wasn’t going to become one of those regulars. Munching on peanuts in her little corner of the bar, Sarita let the music carry Britt’s words away.

    When both groups of newcomers gathered for a trip to the bar, Sarita flagged Ineis down. It was either get her fancy drink now or wait for ages for the newbies. A beautiful Chardonnay Slushie slid up to her in short order.

    Sarita took a moment to admire her drink and let the anticipation build. If she was giving up breakfast and coffee for the little golden treasure in front of her, she wasn’t going to gulp it down right away.

    The bar was suddenly swarming with people. Sarita congratulated herself on her timing. One point for the ‘birdwatcher’. It sounded like some of the new people were pretty drunk already, as were a few of the regulars. In an effort to stay in her happy place, Sarita tuned them out as best she could.

    A text on her phone had Sarita thumbing it open excitedly. It wasn’t a friend, it was Britt, telling Sarita that her schedule was changed, again. Instead of an nice quiet Thursday shift tomorrow, she had to work a pair of doubles on the weekend.

    She shoved her phone in her back pocket, not caring that Britt would be annoyed when she didn’t respond. Sarita picked up her frozen drink and tried to forget her boss.

    There was a shout at the bar and a ripple of people. Sarita turned her head just in time to see that group of femme girls coming at her like a wave. Already falling themselves, they swiped Sarita off her barstool. She landed hard, her head bouncing off the Pony’s gummy hardwood. Someone had landed on her, with another body falling on top of them.

    I can’t breathe! Sarita realized, panicking.

    She thrashed and managed a shrill squeak, but the crushing weight didn’t budge. Desperately, she clawed at the person on top of her. That moved the weight from Sarita’s chest to her hips. She gasped, watching the bar ceiling spin above her with a sick feeling.

    Lots of people were shouting. Someone getting up with their foot on Sarita’s ankle. She screamed. Ineis was shouting the loudest. The bartender was suddenly in Sarita’s vision, roughly hauling a woman off of her.

    “Are you okay? Sarita, are you hurt?”

    “Owww.” Sarita whimpered.

    She looked down at herself. Her ankle felt sore and her whole torso felt bruised. There was a wet patch on her crotch that she didn’t remember happening, but was an all-too-familiar feeling from elementary school. Worst of all, her pretty drink was splashed all over her already-stained sweater.

    It was too much. Sarita burst into tears. She had nothing left to hold back with. Everything was awful, and it was going to stay that way.

    “Sweetie, I’m so sorry but I have to deal with the assholes that started pushing. Do you need medical attention?”

    “I duh-don’t think so.” Sarita said, shaking her head. “I’m ju-just banged up.”

    “Okay, shout out if that changes.” Ineis said. She was abruptly gone from Sarita’s vision. Her voice rang through the bar, as angry as Sarita had ever heard her.

    “HEY! Where do you think you’re going? You in the jacket, and you in the vest, get your asses over here. You forget that I have your cards for your tab? You can deal with me right now, or you can deal with the damn cops!”

    Sarita whimpered and rubbed her head. There was a nice big bump developing. Someone crouched down next to her and offered a hand.

    “Hey, I’m super sorry that I fell on you. I tried to get out of the way but it happened too fast. Are you okay?”

    Sarita took the hand and gingerly climbed to her feet. Her ankle felt like crap, but it didn’t seem broken. The lady in front of her was almost as mussed as she was. Somebody had fallen on the both of them, Sarita remembered.

    Her collision buddy had come in wearing a cool white dress with tattoo designs on it. It was all smudged now, with a red blotch from somebody’s drink. She had a mass of tight curls that had framed her head in an A shape. They were smushed on one side now and dusty.

    “Thanks, not your fault.”

    “Are you really okay? You hit your head bad. I heard the thump.” The lady winced.

    “Yeah I guess. Just a horrible day.” Sarita said, slumping on her barstool. Fresh tears followed the tracks down her cheeks.

    “I’m really sorry. My name’s Nohemi, by the way. Can I replace your drink at least?”

    “I’m Sarita. You don’t have to do that, it wasn’t your fault.”

    “I know that. Can I do it anyway if I want to?”

    “Okay.” Sarita said in a small voice. More than anything she wanted to get away from the bar, change out of her soiled clothes – especially the pants – and curl up under her covers. Unfortunately, her ankle wasn’t going to cooperate with that plan for a while.

    “What’d you have?”

    “Chardonnay Slushie.” Sarita said, blushing. “I know it’s a girly…”

    “Oh I saw that one on the menu, it looked tasty.” Nohemi said. “I’ll grab the bartender when she’s done yelling at those idiots.”

    “Thanks. So uh, do you live nearby? I haven’t seen you in the Pony before and it’s mostly locals that drink here.”

    “I heard about it from a friend actually, she said it was a cool queer bar.”

    “It usually is.” Sarita said, wincing.

    “We were just stopping here on our way to a club actually. You want to come with us?”

    “Oh no, that’s okay.” Sarita said quickly. “I don’t want to butt in on your thing, plus I have to change out of these clothes.”

    “We wouldn’t mind, promise. I see your point about the clothes though. It looks like you got splashed good. You don’t have to wait for me to buy you a drink if you want to head home. I’ll get you another time, promise.”

    “I would but my ankle kind of hurts. What about you? Are you okay? Your dress got splashed too.”

    “I’m not hurt. The stain on my dress sucks, but I can’t bail on tonight. This club is only open one night a month.”

    “What kind of club is it?”

    “It’s for alternate sexualities mostly. They have BDSM and swingers but the majority of the people are queer folks. It’s called Green Fairy ALC, for alternate lifestyle community. I don’t get a chance to go every month, so I’m super excited for tonight.”

    Sarita looked at Nohemi and considered. It sounded potentially cool, but just as potentially scary. Nohemi looked so excited, it was hard not to pick up on that a little.

    Behind Nohemi, things were settling down in the bar. The other two girls that had come in with Nohemi sidled up to her.

    “Hey Mimi, who’s your friend?”

    “This is Sarita.” Nohemi said. “Sarita, this is Julieta and Oriana.”

    “Hi.” Sarita said shyly.

    “Nice to meet you.” Julieta said. “We’re going to bounce, Mimi.”

    “Okay, no problem. I owe Sarita a drink, but I’ll catch up with you at the club as soon as I make good on that.”

    “Girl, we got trampled. We’re headed home.” Oriana said.

    “But, it’s only once a month that it’s open. I know that was a bad situation…”

    “Hemi, no. We love you, girl, but we’re sore, dirty, and my blouse is torn. Next month, okay?”

    “Yeah, okay.” Nohemi said, with a strained smile. “Be careful on the way home.”

    “You too. Don’t get run over in here again either.” Julieta said.

    Both girls hugged Nohemi and waved to Sarita. Nohemi watched them go with a sigh.

    “I’m kind of over the drink at this point.” Sarita said. “I think I’m going to head home too.”

    “You’re a regular here, right?” Nohemi said. “I’ll be back. I really will buy you that drink, promise.”

    “You don’t have to, but thanks.” Sarita said. She slid off her barstool and winced when her ankle met the floor.

    “Can I walk you back to your apartment at least? I’m not a creeper, I swear. I don’t have to come inside, but that looks painful.”

    “It’s really not necessary.” Sarita sad, gingerly testing her weight. Her ankle was very upset at the moment, but it’d be fine in an hour.

    “I’m literally the one that stepped on your ankle.” Nohemi said. “The least I can do is offer a shoulder to lean on.”

    “Okay, yeah.” Sarita said.

    They made their way out past Ineis, who looked like she was about two seconds away from calling the police. Nohemi had her arm around Sarita’s ribs and was providing some nice solid support on her right side. It felt odd to be touching someone so much. Sarita hadn’t realized how touch-starved she was. Though her ankle was feeling better after the first block of walking, she held on to Nohemi until they reached her building.

    “You could come up if you want.” Sarita said. “I don’t know if I have anything that’ll get that stain out, but we could give it a shot.”

    “You sure? I’m not trying to hit on you…”

    “I’m not either.” Sarita said quickly, blushing. Wetting her pants and getting a sympathy shoulder on the walk home was not her normal pickup technique. “I know you’re excited about that club, but it sucks to go with a stain on your dress.”

    “Thanks, really. I’ll take you up on it!”

    It was an awkward elevator ride up to Sarita’s fourth floor apartment. Thankfully the apartment wasn’t a disaster. Not that anything was put away, of course, but there weren’t any dirty dishes or takeout containers out.

    “This is my place.” Sarita said with a shrug. “It’s just the room here, bedroom over there, and bathroom there. All the stuff I’ve got for stains is in the bathroom. Use whatever you want. I’m going to be in the bedroom for a sec to change.”

    “You sure you don’t need the bathroom? I know you got a drink spilled on you, but you um – have some potty issues too, it looks like.”

    Sarita coughed, choking on her own spit.

    “You – I didn’t realize you picked up on that. Um – yeah, give me a second.”

    “Take your time, it’s okay.”

    Sarita scurried to the bedroom, grabbing the first halfway-coherent outfit she could find in her dresser. In the bathroom, she stripped down and checked herself out. No bruises, not yet at least. Even her ankle wasn’t too swollen. Counting herself lucky, Sarita wiped herself down with a wet towel and dressed.

    “Bathroom is all yours.” Sarita said, dumping the bundle of dirty clothes on the pile of laundry in her living room corner.

    “Thanks! I’ll try to be fast.”

    It seemed weird to turn on the TV, which left Sarita sitting on her couch, trying not to think about the fact that there was a naked girl in her bathroom. A cute one too.

    A cute girl that’s not interested in you. Sarita reminded herself. Nohemi is being nice, way nicer than she needs to be. She doesn’t need to be creeped on.

    Even IF there had been a chance with Nohemi, wetting herself in front of the girl had blown all that out of the water. Sure, it had happened under pretty extreme circumstances, but Sarita didn’t think there were a bunch of lesbians out there, hot for girls with pee in their pants.

    “Managed to mostly salvage it!” Nohemi said, stepping out of the bathroom.

    The red blotch on the tattoo-dress had become a very light pink smudge. If you didn’t know it was a stain, it’d be easy to miss it among all the wild colors in the dress’s pattern.

    “Nice! You still going to the club then?”

    “Yeah.” Nohemi said determinedly. “I wasn’t looking forward to going alone, but there’s no way I’m passing it up. It’s been three months since the last time I was able to make it.”

    “I could go with you, if you still want.” Sarita said. The words were out of her mouth before she realized what she was doing. Immediately, she curled up on the couch, cursing her impulsive tongue.

    “Really?” Nohemi asked, excitedly. “Yeah, if you want to that would be awesome. You even have a great outfit for it.”

    Sarita looked down at herself. Her random pick of clothes had put her in leggings, a long button up blouse, and a miniskirt. It’d pass for club wear, sort of. The whole idea was so stupid, she wished she hadn’t said anything to Nohemi. The girl looked so excited now, Sarita couldn’t bear to disappoint her.

    The club seemed interesting anyway. Sarita had never heard of it, but she wasn’t much of a club scene person, never mind alternative lifestyle clubs. It’d be nice to meet some queer women who didn’t know her as the Taco-Truck-Fire Girlfriend.

    “Yeah, let’s do it.” Sarita said, picking up her purse. “Oh uh, but how much is the cover? I sort of blew my budget on drinks tonight.”

    “The cover is on me. As is at least one drink.” Nohemi said firmly. “I owe you for a spilled drink and a sore ankle still.”

    Sarita hesitated. Nohemi didn’t really owe her for that stuff. It felt like mooching when Sarita knew she wouldn’t be able to afford going on her own. Still, the offer seemed genuine and she didn’t have work tomorrow. The weekend was going to suck, maybe tonight was still salvageable.

    “Okay. Thank you.”

    “My pleasure. It’s been a crazy night. Let’s try to have some fun!”

    —–

    The Green Fairy was nothing much to look at from the outside, just a set of stairs descending to a basement door. The sign was only a couple of feet across, though pretty cute up close. The ‘fairy’ was a drag queen done up in a green dress and loud green hair. Whoever had designed it had done a good job, AND had been allowed to be creative. A rare combination in her experience. Not that she’d sold any designs, yet.

    The first thing the club presented them with inside was the bar. A wide open area with a be-tabled sunken space dominated the room. The bar was at the back. It looked generic enough, except for the high number of collars or leather-wear on the people at the tables.

    Double-doors were set evenly along the side walls, each with a neon-lit icon next to it, presumably indicating what kind of space you’d be entering. The handcuff sign was obvious enough, as was the swing. Sarita thought she had an idea of what the horse icon meant, but someone was going to have to explain the mermaid and – the teddy bear?

    “The bar is pretty clear, let’s get you that drink first.” Nohemi said.

    “You’re kind of obsessed with that.” Sarita said bemusedly, as Nohemi lead her by the hand around the table area.

    “I don’t like to cause people trouble and not make up for it.”

    The Green Fairy didn’t have a chardonnay slushie, but they did have a raspberry daiquiri. The first sip through the straw soothed Sarita’s soul. Nohemi was drinking something hardcore looking, that involved a burnt orange peel and some smoke. It was brown and therefore sure to be bitter.

    “Have you been here a lot?” Sarita asked.

    “Not as much as I want, but as much as I can.” Nohemi said. “It’s really quiet right now, we’re here a little early.”

    Sarita checked her phone and groaned. She’d been too frantic when she was changing, to notice the spiderweb of cracks on the screen. No wonder one side of her butt was more sore than the other.

    “Huh? Oh no, is that from when I knocked you over? Don’t worry, I’ll…”

    “Don’t you dare.” Sarita said. “I really appreciate everything you did so far, but nothing that happened was your fault. It’s on those jerks that started pushing.”

    “I’m taking responsibility for your ankle at least.” Nohemi said.

    “Fine, but my ankle is not my phone.” She shrugged. “It’s not like I haven’t had a cracked screen before.”

    “Alright.” Nohemi said. “I guess I’ll let that one go. I’m going to insist on being your friend though, unless that makes it too weird.”

    See? She just wants to be friends. Sarita smiled at Nohemi. “I could use a friend. I lost all of mine in the taco truck fire incident.”

    “Oh now you have to tell me about that.”

    “I want to start out by saying that I don’t think all my exes are crazy. Felisa legitimately needs medication or something, though.”

    “Felisa wasn’t very feliz, huh?”

    “Oh no. You make puns.”

    Nohemi laughed, drawing a giggle out of Sarita. That felt good. A friend would be good. You could survive all kinds of bad stuff with a friend in your corner. Sarita related the rest of the story of Felisa’s rampage starting with the Valentine’s Day date that turned into a bar-crawl.

    “Wait, she broke into the taco truck while on a date – to make food for you?”

    “She wanted to make my favorite tacos, right then. I think she thought it was super romantic. We were both really drunk. I still knew it was a bad idea, but I was too wasted to stop her. I don’t get that drunk anymore.”

    “Good.” Nohemi shook her head. “And then she caught the whole thing on fire?”

    “Started a grease fire, sprayed water on it… yeah. She got out before she got seriously hurt, and I called the fire department. They couldn’t save the truck though. Felisa ended up giving the Espinas basically all her money and moving to California.”

    “Wow. That beats my worst breakup story, hands down.”

    “I’m a winner.” Sarita said, twirling her finger lethargically in the air.

    “I want to hear more stories, but I need to pee. Watch my drink for me?”

    “Course.” Sarita said with a smile.

    After watching Nohemi long enough to see where the bathroom was, Sarita pulled her phone out to assess the damage. It was still functional, thankfully. Maybe she could try to barter some graphic design work for the phone repair shop under her apartment. Their sign was really ugly.

    Movement at one of the double-doors caught Sarita’s eye. A woman emerged from the teddy-bear door. She didn’t look weird at all, or even dressed up in fetish stuff. If anything, she was dressed like somebody’s mom, in a dark blue dress with floral print on it. The way her hips moved was mesmerizing. She had that silver-age-of-movies figure going on.

    When the woman met Sarita’s eyes, she realized she’d been caught staring. Quickly, Sarita ducked her head and focused on her phone.

    “Is there someone already sitting with you, or did you get two drinks to save time?”

    Sarita looked up, then further up, past the floral-dress woman’s ample chest to her pretty green eyes. “Yeah, my friend is in the bathroom.”

    “Just a friend? Do you mind if I sit?”

    Is she hitting on me? What even is this night? Sarita licked her lips. Realizing that she’d already let an awkward amount of time pass, she stammered, “G-go ahead. I’m Sarita.”

    “Thank you. I’m Astra.” Even the way that Astra sat was elegant. Sarita jerked her eyes up from those hips and back to Astra’s eyes.

    “First time at the Green Fairy? I think I’d have noticed you if you’d been here before.”

    Oh shit I think she IS hitting on me! Sarita blushed and tried smoothing down her hair. It was a messy bob at the best of times, she was sure it looked like a wreck that night.

    “Yeah, I hadn’t even heard of it before tonight. You must be a regular.”

    “Right on the first try.” Astra said with a wink. “What brought you in? I know the club intimidates a lot of people.”

    “I don’t know. I was having the worst day today, met someone, and she invited me here. It seemed interesting I guess.”

    “Oh no, what happened today?”

    “It was a whole thing with work and a big disaster at my regular bar. I don’t want to dump all my drama on you.”

    “It’s not drama. You look frazzled. Tell me all about it.”

    Hesitantly, Sarita told Astra about getting chewed out at work. Astra didn’t look bored at all. She was paying attention with a really kind expression. Encouraged, Sarita spilled some more background information on the job. Astra was still listening and offering encouraging comments.

    Taking a good look at Astra, Sarita was pretty sure they were close to the same age. For sure Astra had to be under thirty. It was hard to believe with how strong her caring vibes were. It was like talking to a sympathetic aunt. A really hot aunt in a low cut dress.

    In a rush, Sarita got the rest of the evening out. She even mentioned wetting herself before she realized what she was doing. That only accelerated the pace of her story. Sarita hoped she could pile enough words on that fact to bury it.

    By the time Nohemi was back at the table, Astra had Sarita’s right hand clasped in hers, and the story was done.

    “Hi Nohemi! I didn’t realize you were here with Sarita.”

    Nohemi looked at the two of them and blinked. It was a complicated expression, Sarita couldn’t read it. She hoped that Nohemi didn’t feel ditched.

    “I didn’t realize you were here tonight, we’d just gotten here. You’re sneaky, Astra.”

    “She just came over to say hi and I spilled my guts about my whole evening to her. Thanks for listening even if it wasn’t very interesting, I didn’t mean to talk your ear off.” Sarita babbled.

    “It sounds like you’ve both had a hard night.” Astra said.

    “Yeah, all kinds of stuff hasn’t gone the way I expected.” Nohemi said, taking a seat and a sip of her drink.

    “I can go if you two wanted to have a private evening.” Astra said.

    “No, it’s not like that, we’re friends. Well, super new friends but, friends, right?” Sarita winced at the sheer cringe that was falling out of her mouth. What was wrong with her tonight? Had she just forgotten how to talk to people?

    “Yeah, we’re friends.” Nohemi said with a smile. It looked like a genuine smile.

    Sarita sighed in relief. “And you two are friends, or I guess you know each other at least?”

    “Yeah, I’ve known Nohemi for a couple of years now, I think. You’ve been coming to the club for at least that long, haven’t you?”

    “It’s almost three now.” Nohemi said. “Time flies.”

    “Dios mío, I’m such a newbie.” Sarita said. “Will you keep me from doing anything stupid?”

    “Of course, hon.” Nohemi and Astra said in unison. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. The last of the lingering tension at the table cleared with the echoes of their laugh.

    The rest of the evening was boring by club standards, but Sarita was in heaven. They talked about everything, the news, the city, queer women’s local gossip, silly sex jokes, and food. Sarita couldn’t believe how much she’d been missing hanging out with friends.

    Not that it was purely friendly with both women. Astra kept finding excuses to touch Sarita’s hand on the table, her foot underneath, or her shoulder. At the end of the night, when Astra plucked some probably-imaginary fluff off Sarita’s shoulders, she felt like calling the other woman out.

    Yes, I get it! I’m picking up your signals and my motor is running!

    Astra was gorgeous and funny and didn’t seem to have a flatlined bank account. Sarita had no idea why the blonde woman was hitting on her so hard. She wasn’t questioning it, though. Sarita made sure that Astra had her number at the end of the night, giving it to Nohemi as well as a cover.

    Though that wasn’t exactly fair. Nohemi was awesome too. If she’d really managed to pick up a new friend and a date in the same night, Sarita was going to have to stop calling it the worst day ever.

    A check of her shattered phone showed it was well after midnight. Maybe that meant yesterday was the worst day ever. Today could be the awesome day. With her worries temporarily out of mind and no work that day, Sarita let herself skip home.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 10

    Sarita sat on her couch with an amused expression. Nero was on the back of the couch, meowing at her. He’d been at it for a good five minutes. He’d always been a little complainer, but Sarita was pretty sure she was feeling outright lectured by her kitty for the first time.

    “Nero, you’re repeating yourself. I don’t speak cat, but you did that same meow a minute ago.”

    The answer to Sarita’s gentle rebuke was an indignant yowl. Tired of being chewed out by her cat, Sarita grabbed the little black kitty by the scruff of his neck and put him in her lap. He gave a few half-hearted meows before switching to cuddle mode.

    Nero’s first order of business was to rub his cheek all over Sarita’s new clothes. With a few circles to make sure that both blouse and skirt were properly shed-on, Nero sat down to make biscuits. Laughing at her industrious pet, Sarita checked her phone. Surprisingly, it was before eight am. An early morning on a day off demanded a nap, and Sarita had no intention of resisting.

    An hour later, Sarita was rudely pushed back into consciousness by the need to pee. Her foggy mind sapped her limbs of energy in protest. She’d just gotten super comfortable on the couch. Furthermore, Nero was a warm ball on her lap, purring as he snoozed.

    Technically I don’t have to get up. I’m still wearing the diaper Astra put on me. It was an absurd thought – wasn’t it? Sure, she wasn’t playing with Astra at the moment, but she’d used several diapers on dates with her Angel. Would wetting another one be any different?

    There was enough justification for Sarita’s sleepy mind to relax her bladder and return to napping. The warmth in her diaper only increased her coziness, making sleep come easier than it had the first time.

    —–

    Waking up with a clammy diaper was not nearly as fun as falling asleep with a warm one. The squish on her butt when Sarita sat up made her bits tingle. That’s confirmation then. The diapers are sexy by themselves. Good thing I know at least two hot ladies who like diapered girls.

    It’d been distressingly easy and convenient to use her diaper. Sarita considered texting Astra to tell her, but decided to save that tidbit for the next time she saw her Angel. It’d be an easy way to get her girlfriend’s motor going and earn some praise. Or maybe I’d get a spanking? I’m still not clear if I’m supposed to be in trouble for using the diapers or not.

    A shower, a fresh outfit, and lunch were on the schedule. The first two Sarita managed easily. On her way to item three, she caught Nero sleeping on the pack of decorated diapers. Moving him resulted in a lot of meows and a trip to the litterbox so that he could stare accusingly at Sarita.

    No sooner had Sarita provided clean litter for her kitty than there was a notification on her phone. Astra had a list of reminders for her, including a prompt to not forget lunch. That one was really useful, as she’d completely forgotten about food.

    Also on the list was a reminder to unpack her laundry, so she’d have something un-wrinkled to wear to work. Reasoning that the earlier she could get a work shirt hung up, the better, Sarita dumped her laundry duffel out on her bed. She was proud to have three work shirts hung up and lightly misted so that the wrinkles would relax out.

    The skirts were wrinkle-proof, which meant they got shoved in the dresser. Sarita had finished organizing her bra drawer when a text came in from Nohemi.

    Nohemi

    Hey girl! You still off work?

    Sarita

    Yeah. Just doing chores and getting yelled at by my cat.

    Nohemi

    Can I steal you away? Don’t tell Nero it was me.

    Sarita

    No promises, he’s been in a mood. :3 Where do you want to meet?

    Nohemi

    My place, if that’s okay.

    Sarita

    I can’t wait to see it. Send me your address.

    Clothes could obviously wait, especially since there were enough of them put away for a few days at work. Sarita gave Nero some extra scritches in the hopes that he’d forgive her for leaving again so soon. Giving her kitty attention until he wanted to be left alone was usually good for a happy Nero when she came home.

    —–

    Sarita climbed the creaky metal stairs that had been an obvious rush-replacement for an original wood stairway, in one of Ardenthill’s historic apartment buildings. The stairwell even smelled old, with hints of smoke and mold in the ancient brick. There were a lot of stairs. No wonder Nohemi’s butt looks so good.

    The building Sarita lived in got out of having an elevator by topping out at three stories. Nohemi’s was five stories, but likely used its historic status as an excuse for lacking an elevator. Building codes weren’t a usual topic for Sarita, but Nohemi’s fifth floor apartment was giving her a lot of time to think about them.

    Panting, she took a moment to catch her breath on the fifth floor. The hallway wasn’t worth five floors of stairs, but it was cool enough to make Sarita envious. The carpet was old, well taken care of, and woven with a beautiful pattern. Unlike the cheap spartan aesthetic of a modern building, the walls were decorated with carved wood moldings and chair rails.

    Even Nohemi’s door was cool, it was solid black and looked like oak under the stain. There were worn spots on it from generations of hands and feet holding it open. Nohemi had the door open moments after Sarita knocked.

    “You made it! I hope the stairs weren’t too much of a pain.” Nohemi was looking dapper in a button-up shirt and a blue vest.

    “They were okay. You look fancy. What’s the occasion?” Sarita gave Nohemi a hug, noting the soft fabric of her vest approvingly.

    “I got a wild hair and cleaned my whole apartment. It was fun to dress up a little after. You’re looking cute too.”

    Sarita looked down at her midi skirt and single breasted blouse with horizontal and vertical stripes meeting at the buttons. Dressing on autopilot had resulted in an outfit very similar to what Astra had put her in. She’s going to have me dressing like a 50’s housewife if I don’t pay attention. I wonder if that’s the look she likes, or if she got a deal on those clothes.

    “Thanks! I’m not sure why I dressed up, I didn’t do anything ambitious like clean my apartment.”

    “Then you can enjoy mine. Let me show you around.”

    Though it was cleaner than Sarita’s apartment had been since she moved in, Nohemi’s apartment didn’t have the white-glove feel of Astra’s. Part of that was the sheer age of the building. There was only so much cleaning you could do on old brick and wood. Overall the feeling was comfy, even homey.

    Nohemi’s kitchen looked well used and cared for, with familiar spices and a tortilla warmer that saw enough use to never be put away. The bathroom had wonderful old tile who’s funky pattern set Sarita’s mind spinning with design possibilities.

    Her favorite part of the tour was the deep-cushioned couch in the living room. With built-in pillows on the arms, it was the perfect spot for curling up. Sarita wasted no time getting her shoes off and doing exactly that.

    “You got comfy fast. Is that going to be your spot?”

    “I like that idea! Yes, this is my cozy spot.”

    “You’ll have to come over a lot to establish residency.” Nohemi winked.

    “Oh no, how will I manage?” Sarita scooted closer to Nohemi. “I love hanging out with you.”

    “I like it a lot too.” Nohemi fell quiet, watching Sarita’s face.

    “What have you been up to?”

    “Mostly work. The ABDU is opening a new building and there’s miles of wire to pull. What about you?”

    “I had three days off! It’s been really nice. Usually I work six days a week and it’s super stressful.”

    “That’s great! What’d you do with your extra days?”

    “I went on a couple of dates.” Sarita blushed. “But that’s not all I do!”

    “Relax, you go on as many dates as you want. Are you still with Astra?”

    “I’m not with anybody. I’m dating two girls right now, and Astra is one of them.”

    “Oh?” Nohemi’s interest was clearly piqued.

    “Do you know Pauline? I went on a date with her too.”

    “Yeah, I know her. She’s a nice girl.”

    “She is. I don’t know if I feel the spark with her though.”

    “Oh yeah? What makes you spark?”

    “I wish I knew.” Sarita completed her scooting journey to Nohemi’s side of the couch and leaned against her friend. As she’d hoped, Nohemi drew her into a hug. “Stuff went really well with Astra on our last date but there were still like – bumps.”

    “What do you mean by bumps?” Nohemi’s arms felt tense around Sarita.

    “I’m sorry, I know you have stuff with her. We don’t have to talk about her.”

    “Mija, it’s okay. If you want to talk about your date with Astra, I’m here for you.”

    Nohemi’s voice sounded strained. Details were out of the question, Sarita decided. I’ll just ask the most important question. Then we can get off the topic so that Nohemi doesn’t have to be annoyed.

    “The bumps aren’t that important. There’s always bumps. The thing I’m really having trouble with is – I think she wants to say the L word. I don’t know if she’s waiting for me to say it first, or if she wants me to be more comfortable first, but she was super amped last night and almost said it a bunch of times.”

    “Is the L word Love, Sarita?” Nohemi asked sarcastically. “Girl, if you can’t even say it talking to me, no wonder Astra is nervous.”

    “Why do I let you be so mean to me?”

    “Because you like me.”

    “I like you a lot, Mimi.” Sarita smiled and cuddled in closer, resting her head on Nohemi’s shoulder.

    “I’m sure you know it’s a bad idea to say you’re in love before you are. What’s the big worry? Astra hasn’t said it yet, she’d probably waiting until she feels it too.”

    “She’s said everything else though. The whole night and morning it was over the top stuff about how I’m the best Little Girl ever and that I’m her princess.”

    Nohemi held her breath. “She called you Princess? Like a nickname?”

    “Yeah, why? What’s up?”

    “Did you go home on your own or did she need to work?”

    “She took me home early, it was probably for work. What’s going on?”

    “It’s nothing – I shouldn’t say anything.”

    “That doesn’t sound like nothing!” Sarita wiggled around in the embrace until she could look Nohemi in the eye. In the process she found herself sitting on Nohemi’s lap.

    “It’s nothing bad for you. It’s great for you. I don’t want to be causing you and Astra a problem with rumors.”

    “You’re starting to freak me out. Please, Nohemi, tell me what you’re hinting around.”

    Nohemi sighed and closed her eyes. She put her hands on Sarita’s hips to balance her, thought better of it and moved her hands to Sarita’s thighs. For some reason, that still didn’t sit right with her, and she let her hands drop to her sides.

    “Look, it really isn’t a bad thing for you. I shouldn’t have even asked those questions. It’s just – you’re so comfortable with this stuff and you know everyone from the Munch Group, it’s hard to remember that you don’t know everyone’s history.”

    “You keep saying it’s not bad for me. Who’s it bad for?”

    “Fuck. Okay, I’ll tell you. Do you know that Astra plays with other Little Girls?”

    “Yes. Oriana told me and Astra and I had a conversation about it. Is that it?”

    “No.” Nohemi raised her eyes to the ceiling and crossed herself. “Look, Astra can be a lot of fun to date. She’s high energy and she makes a great Mommy.”

    “But?” Sarita frowned, watching Nohemi’s face intently.

    “She has some – patterns – that people in the local scene picked up on over time. If she’s calling you Princess, then yeah, she does want to say she loves you.”

    “I’m so confused. How is that some big problem thing? I mean, I’m not ready to say I love her, but it’s sweet that she wants to.”

    “I told you it’s not bad for you. It means she’s going to break up with Jenevieve.”

    “What!? She said she wasn’t dating Jenevieve.” Sarita wobbled on Nohemi’s lap. Her friend caught her by the waist. There was a sick feeling in Sarita’s stomach.

    “She’s not exactly – damn it, Sarita, I’m screwing this up. Seriously, Astra is into you. She’s one hundred percent on team Sarita.”

    “Then how is it a breakup with Jenevieve?”

    “Because Jenevieve wants to be Astra’s full time Little Girl more than anything. So much, that she pretends she’s dating Astra even though she knows they’re not really dating. When Astra meets somebody she really likes – she stops playing with Jenevieve.”

    “Oh. They’re just going to stop playing at the Green Fairy? Why did you call it a breakup?”

    “To Jenevieve, it is. To Astra, it’s just letting a play partner know that they can’t play anymore.”

    “You make it sound like Astra is abusing Jenevieve.” The sick feeling in Sarita’s stomach was growing rapidly.

    “She’s not! Astra could – probably be more careful, but she’s not malicious. If you’ve spent the night with her a couple of times you know how she is. She gets so excited to play that she just goes for it when she has someone to play with.”

    That’s not wrong. Actually that description makes me feel better about the bumps. I understand where they’re coming from a little better. Sarita’s stomach calmed, though she could feel her body holding the nervous energy in reserve for another bad revelation.

    “Mimi, you’d tell me if Astra was some kind of manipulator or abuser, right?”

    “I absolutely would. She’s not, to the best of my knowledge, and I know her pretty well. This is why I didn’t want to get into this with you. I’m sorry I dredged up all the scene gossip. It’s not fair to put that on you, when you weren’t here for it happening.”

    “So Astra doesn’t do any scary or cruel stuff to the girls she dates, is what you’re saying? On God?”

    “There’s no serial killer or psycho stuff in her, on God.”

    Sarita searched Nohemi’s face. Something in her friend’s expression didn’t sit right. There was an uncomfortable truth that Mimi wasn’t telling her. If it was something from Nohemi’s own past with Astra – then Sarita didn’t need to know. But if it was something else…

    “On God? You’re being honest with me?”

    “On God! I’m not lying.”

    “Bitch, if you’re about to tell me you don’t believe in God…”

    “Mija, I go to mass. Why do you think I never reply to your texts before ten on a Sunday?”

    “Oh.” Sarita hung her head guiltily. “I don’t go to mass anymore.”

    Nohemi laughed. “That’s fine, I’m not upset with you. I’ll even cover for you if your abuelas are after you about it.”

    The ball of nervous energy untied itself, which helped Sarita’s tummy but sent nervous energy into her arms and legs. On impulse, she leaned in and hugged Nohemi tightly. “Thanks for telling me. I’m sorry I freaked out. I’ve had bad relationship stuff and I get scared.”

    “It’s okay. Like I said, I’m sorry I brought it up. None of this is your drama. I’m friends with Jenevieve and I got worried for her. My mouth got ahead of my brain.”

    “I just want to be happy.” Sarita was surprised at the sadness in her voice. From the way Nohemi’s breath caught, she was surprised as well.

    “I want you to be happy too.” Nohemi squeezed Sarita tightly and rubbed her back. “If you believe anything I say, believe that.”

    Tears sprang into Sarita’s eyes. She sat up and wiped them away. “You’re such a good friend, Mimi. You know you can vent to me too, right? I’ll always listen.”

    Nohemi’s mouth crooked sadly. Ugh, poor Mimi. I always drop my drama on her. I’m the worst friend.

    “That means a lot, Sarita. I’m sure I’ll need that sometime.”

    “It’s kind of hard to imagine. You seem so – good at stuff. You’re winning at life.”

    “I am?” Nohemi looked at Sarita incredulously.

    “Compared to me you are. You’ve got a good job, lots of friends, you’re really smart and kind. You’re not some big emotional mess all the time, you’re all – cool and – I don’t know, mature?” Sarita looked away bashfully before adding, “I look up to you.”

    Nohemi shifted, looking uncomfortable. Belatedly, Sarita realized she’d been on Nohemi’s lap and up in her space way more than was probably okay for their level of friendship. Quickly, she scooted onto the neighboring couch cushion.

    “Sarita – you might be the sweetest girl I know.”

    Nohemi stroked Sarita’s cheek and brushed away her tear-trail. It felt wonderful to get such a caring touch after she’d imposed on Nohemi so much. She’s such a great friend. I have to make sure to take care of her too. I want her to be happy.

    “Thanks. Sorry for the crazy emotional afternoon. I don’t know why I got so spun up.” Sarita’s stomach punctuated her sentence with a raucous growl.

    “When did you last eat?”

    “I made lunch before I came over – wait, no I didn’t, I got distracted with the kitty litter and the laundry.”

    “Sarita, it’s almost four. Did you have a big breakfast at least?”

    “Um – I had two pieces of toast.”

    Nohemi shook her head. “Get your butt up, we’re making an early dinner.”

    Meekly, Sarita followed her friend to the kitchen. “What are we making?”

    “Arroz con pollo.” Nohemi opened her cupboards to pull out rice, tomato sauce, and chilis.

    “Doesn’t that take like – an hour?” Sarita’s stomach grumbled again.

    “I have leftover chicken we’re going to use, it’ll be twenty five minutes tops. Do you know how to chop an onion?” Nohemi put a cutting board and knife in front of Sarita.

    “What kind of question is that? You think I’m a little kid who doesn’t know how to cook?”

    “I’ve seen how many taquitos are in your freezer. We barely got the tamales in there.” Nohemi gave Sarita a playful swat on the rear. “Onions are in the basket at the end of the counter. Get chopping.”

    “Okay, fine.” Sarita laughed and grabbed an onion. As she chopped, she kept watch on Nohemi out of the corner of her eye. The look on her friend’s face wasn’t too disapproving. Sarita smiled. She might not be the best cook over, but she could chop an onion without cutting herself.

    Cooking with Nohemi created an instantly easy rhythm. Sarita chopped garlic after the onion, and chilis after that. Nohemi adeptly managed the pan and prep for the leftover chicken. While the rice and chicken simmered, they leaned on the counter and chatted.

    Nohemi had poured herself a glass of the white wine she’d put in the sauce, and Sarita asked for a glass without remembering her empty stomach. She put the glass down as soon as she realized she was getting giggly and silly. Luckily, Nohemi didn’t seem to mind. She was a attentive and smiling a ever.

    I wish Nohemi and I could hang out all the time.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 11

    A knock on the door startled Sarita out of a dazed stupor. She made her way to the door, painfully re-orienting herself. It was some time in the morning, or the sun would be coming in through the windows. She was glad to see it was still morning, because she had work in the afternoon. The last thing she needed was to be late to work.

    On the other side of the door was a smiling Pauline. She was super cute in a sundress and a choker. Panic gripped Sarita’s gut. Did I forget about a date?

    “Hey, everything okay? I’m here for decoration duty!”

    Dimly, Sarita recalled setting up a morning decorating session the evening before. Relief banished the panic she’d been feeling, leaving a general unease in its wake. What else have I forgotten for today?

    “Right! Sorry, I’m just – tired today. Come on in. You look cute!”

    Pauline grinned and twirled across the threshold, flashing an intriguing amount of thigh. Interrupted in the act of closing the door by a kiss, Sarita followed Pauline to the couch before she realized she’d left the door ajar.

    Nero! Another panic hit as Sarita scanned the room for her kitty. Luckily, he’d hid from Pauline, probably as soon as she’d knocked. Breaking away from Pauline, Sarita pushed the door closed with a solid thump.

    “Are you sure you’re okay? You seem jumpy.” Pauline was standing with her hands clasped behind her back, adorable and submissive. The idea of topping Pauline spread the fog in Sarita’s mind to her limbs. She was suddenly desperate for a nap.

    “I’m fine, really. I must have slept bad or something.”

    “We don’t have to decorate the diapers if you’re too tired.”

    “No. I can do it. It’s a rough day is all.”

    “Then let me take care of you a little. I’ll get everything set up.” Pauline wrapped Sarita in a firm hug. Sarita held on more tightly than her fib about being okay could sustain. In an effort to head off any more well-meaning questions, Sarita engaged her mouth without checking to see what was queued up there.

    “Is this where I tease you about acting like my girlfriend before we’re committed?” She felt the other girl stiffen in her arms. There was a bit of hurt in Pauline’s eyes as she bit her lip.

    “I’d be your girlfriend in a second if you asked me.”

    Sarita might as well have been Alice, shrunk to two inches tall. Desperate to fix her tongue’s blunders, she blurted out, “I like you. Pauline – I really like you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a bitch.”

    “I like you too.” Pauline smiled ruefully and took a step back, but not before she caressed Sarita’s cheek. “You really are having a rough day. Can I make you coffee or something?”

    Coffee! That was at least one other forgotten thing in Sarita’s chaotic morning. “I’ll make it, I know where all the stuff is. You can get the decorating stuff out – uh, if you want.”

    “Sounds good hon.” Pauline’s smile had finally righted itself.

    Sarita scurried off to the kitchen to hastily scrub the coffee pot and get a brew going. In the meantime, she dry-swallowed a caffeine pill from the back of her spice drawer. Returning to the couch, she found Pauline under surveillance by Nero.

    “Think he’ll come say hi to me this time?” Pauline set a stack of plain diapers next to the paint markers.

    “I know he will.” Sarita picked her kitty up, ignoring his indignant meow, and took a seat next to Pauline. Addressing the cat on her lap, Sarita said, “Nero, listen up. Pauline’s going to be coming around, so you have to be nice to her.”

    “You don’t have to make him do it.”

    “I’m not going to put him in your lap or anything. Put your hand out slowly. Let him sniff your knuckles.”

    Gingerly, Pauline reached out. Sarita gave Nero soothing strokes down his back. He shot her an annoyed glance, but stuck his neck out and sniffed at the approaching hand. After much sniffing, he gave Pauline’s knuckle a single lick and squirmed out of Sarita’s grasp. Instead of retreating to the bedroom, he perched on a windowsill with Pauline between Sarita and himself.

    “Did that go okay?” Pauline watched Nero curiously. For his part, Nero utterly ignored Pauline.

    “He’s being a butt, but it’s big that you’re between me and him. You watch, next time you come over he’ll be shedding all over your lap.”

    “Maybe, but probably only because I’ll be in your lap.” Pauline winked.

    The first whisps of caffeine from the pill, combined with the burbling of the coffee maker, had thinned Sarita’s brain fog. She grinned and put a hand on Pauline’s thigh by the hem of her skirt.

    Eager delight lit Pauline’s face up as she leaned in for a kiss. The decorating project and kitty were both forgotten as their hands began to wander. Sarita had Pauline in her lap and her hands on the other girl’s butt when she realized she was touching nothing but skin.

    A questioning look from Sarita got a blush and a bashful giggle out of Pauline. “I’m not wearing anything – at all – under my dress.”

    “You didn’t come over to decorate, did you?” Decorating had fallen far off the list of things Sarita was interested in doing.

    “I did! I swear. It’s a warm day and – and I wanted to be sexy for you.”

    “Tease,” Sarita said with a smirk. “What if I started bossing you around? Like – ordering you to get me a cup of coffee or – telling you to go to the bedroom?”

    “I’d do either of those things,” Pauline said quietly. “There’s a lot I’d do. I brought diapers in my purse – I’d – I’ll do whatever you say.”

    Something in the other girl’s expression was off. Nervousness or possibly fear lurked in the corners of Pauline’s eyes. Her face reminded Sarita of the hurt Pauline had shown after the dumb comment about being girlfriends.

    Cautiously, Sarita moved her hands out from under Pauline’s skirt and set them on the other girl’s hips. “I don’t think I should do that. It’s too much right now – right?”

    “I guess so.” Relief was evident on Pauline’s face.

    “Maybe it’s too early to be so sexy. I know a way we can fix it, though.”

    “Huh? How?”

    “It’s really distracting knowing you don’t have any underwear on. You should put a diaper on.” Pauline giggled and nodded. Sarita smiled and squeezed the other girl’s waist. “If you have more than one, I’ll put one on too.”

    “I like that. Then we’ll have coffee and do some decorating?”

    “Coffee and cookies.” Sarita nodded. “Though you’re going to need to pee if you drink a bunch of coffee.”

    “Oh no, that’ll be terrible.” Pauline gave Sarita a quick kiss before getting up to retriever her purse. She had exactly two diapers with her. As she took one of them, Sarita wondered what Pauline had been hoping for when she came over.

    She really would have gone to bed with me. I could be sitting on her face right now if I’d gone that route. The image that thought conjured up was uncomfortably hot. Uncomfortable precisely because it was hard to imagine Pauline happy in that situation. Sarita resolved to be careful with her sort-of-girlfriend. Clearly, willing was not the same thing as enthusiastic with Pauline.

    They took turns diapering each other. It was a far more casual experience than being diapered by Astra. There wasn’t any powder or lotion in the house, and Pauline hadn’t brought any. Relaxed and feeling mischievous, Sarita gave Pauline’s padded butt a good crinkle. She had her own rear grabbed and crinkled in return, sending them both into inane giggles.

    Silly camaraderie was exactly what was needed to clear the lingering awkwardness from earlier. Fortified by coffee and molasses cookies, the girls set down to decorate the stack of diapers.

    It was a little embarrassing to be effusively praised by Pauline for almost every diaper Sarita decorated. On the other hand, Sarita had to admit she was in a good creative groove. Under her hands, the paint-pens transformed the boring diapers into stylish kiddie-prints, with very few repeated motifs.

    Not that Pauline’s decorations were terrible, they were just less color-coordinated, and she was rotating through the same three options for most of her designs. Sarita made a point of praising them anyway. Though Pauline shrugged off the praise, it was obvious she was enjoying it.

    Four big stacks of diapers sat on the coffee table, representing more than three quarters of the full hundred they’d been entrusted with. Both girls went for a stretch at the same time, and neither was anxious to pick up the pens again.

    The only anxiousness in the room was the expression on Pauline’s face. The urgent pressure in Sarita’s bladder made her sure she knew what her friend’s distress was about. Sliding Pauline’s skirt up to her hips, Sarita straddled the other girl’s bare legs.

    “Wh-what are you doing?” Pauline’s hesitation extended only to her voice. Her hands were already eagerly on Sarita’s diapered rear.

    “I just needed a spot to sit down so I can pee.” Sarita was delighted to see Pauline’s face go scarlet as her jaw dropped.

    “You’re going to – on me?”

    “Unless you tell me not to.” Sarita shrugged out of her thin sweater, leaving her in only a bra and a diaper.

    Pauline shuddered. “I won’t say no. I want you to.”

    “Then you just have to say the magic words.”

    “What’s the magic word? Is it please? Please! Please, Sarita.”

    “That’s a good word and you’re cute when you beg, but the magic words are a whole sentence.”

    “What is it?” Pauline whined, squirming under and against Sarita.

    “You have to tell me that you’re peeing, truthfully. Then I’ll join you.”

    “How are you so good at this? Sarita, when we’re together it’s so hot – I never thought I’d have a girl – someone like you.”

    “I’m making it up as I go along.” Sarita shrugged bashfully. “I’m still not hearing those magic words though.”

    Pauline closed her eyes in concentration. Her hands slid up to Sarita’s waist with feather-light touches. In the silence of the apartment, Sarita blushed when her ears caught a faint hissing sound.

    “I’m peeing.” Pauline whispered.

    “Me too.” Sarita found it easy to relax. She wondered if she should be worried at how casually she was able to release her flow into a diaper. That worry was kicked to the back of her mind when she caught Pauline’s nipples straining against the thin fabric of her dress.

    Desperately horny kisses transitioned into Sarita grinding on Pauline’s lap. Once again, an unspoken agreement kept them from pushing things all the way. Panting on a plateau of pleasure, both girls nuzzled and peppered the other with little kisses. Slowly, the urgency of Sarita’s desire faded. Its coals were banked and warm, ready to re-ignite at a moment’s notice.

    “You leaked all over me,” Pauline said.

    “Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Sarita’s attempt to rise was stalled by Pauline clutching her.

    “Don’t be sorry. It’s hot. I know it’s weird – but it’s really hot. Thank you.”

    “It’s not that weird.” Sarita kissed Pauline’s forehead. “You’re not weird. I like you.”

    “I – like you too.” Pauline held Sarita close with a heavy sigh. “I mean it, I’ve never gotten to do this stuff with a girl before. Even at the Green Fairy, I mostly played by myself on the side.”

    “I’m glad you like it. I think it’s hot too. As long as we both like what’s happening, I don’t see the problem.”

    “Thank you, Sarita.” Pauline pulled her in for a long kiss. “I guess we should clean up.”

    “I’m going to, yeah.” With her passion fading, Sarita’s crumpled diaper was more of a soggy annoyance than a turn on. “I’m kind of thinking of not letting you clean up though.”

    Pauline gasped. “For how long?”

    “Until you need to go home, at least. If you’re really brave, you can wear that diaper home.”

    “I don’t think I’m that brave.” Pauline’s breathy voice made it clear how hot she thought the idea was, even if it was out of bounds. Maybe especially because it’s out of bounds.

    Sarita got up and ran her hands over Pauline’s thighs. They were damp and a bit sticky, but that was all. “I don’t think you need to clean up. It’s not like I went directly on you or anything.”

    “I’m glad I don’t have to work today.” Pauline giggled. “I’m going to spend the whole afternoon in bed with my vibrator.”

    “Is that what you did last time?” Sarita walked to the bathroom, leaving the door open so she could continue the conversation. Shucking the soaked diaper felt great, as did a wipe down with her still-damp towel from her morning shower.

    “Yeah. I told you, this is crazy hot. You’re so hot.”

    Hopping as she pulled a pair of leggings over her hips, Sarita took a perch on the arm of the couch. “You want to go on another date? Like, out?”

    “Yes. When?”

    “Uh, my schedule is always crazy. I work this afternoon, and tomorrow evening, we can do the day after if Britt doesn’t change things. I have a morning shift that day.”

    “I’ll be as flexible as I can.” Pauline smiled, looking pleased.

    “It can be your place or mine but – I want the date to end with an overnight.” A twinge of guilt made Sarita wince. She stuffed that twinge somewhere out of mind. Astra can’t expect me to be exclusive if she isn’t – though there was that thing Mimi was talking about. There’s no way she broke up with her other people that fast, right?

    “You haven’t seen my place yet, let’s go there. I’m excited!”

    “Me too.” Simultaneously, they looked at the stack of diapers. There was more than a week to go before the job had to be done. It was a relief to both of them to sit and chat instead of pushing on their project. Nero amazed them both by sitting inches away from Pauline on the back of the couch. Of course, as soon as she reached for him, he bounded away to the bedroom.

    When work was looming for Sarita, she nudged Pauline toward cleanup. Blushing and freshly excited, Pauline couldn’t keep her hands off Sarita as they said goodbye. Maybe she’s more than turned on. Her goodbyes are even more sweet than last time.

    A surprisingly heartfelt parting had Sarita hesitating as she closed the door. While she couldn’t say exactly what she was feeling, it was clear she didn’t want to take her eyes off Pauline.

    I really need to make a decision about these girls. The situation is too confusing. Maybe Ineis has some good advice. She wasn’t sure why, but Sarita found herself shying away from the idea of asking Nohemi’s opinion, for once.

     —–

    Work was an endless stream of petty, pre-annoyed women. Most of them put the blame on Sarita when the clothing sizes they asked her for were too small. Taking refuge outside the back door on her break, Sarita opened the bank app on her phone to make sure her paycheck had gone through.

    There was a deposit, but it was far too little. The number on the screen was too small by a third. Frantically, Sarita opened the GrrlPower scheduling app and added up her hours. She’d never figured out her tax percentage, so it was hard to calculate the exact amount missing. Even with rough figures, looked like she’d been paid only her minimum wage hours. I don’t think any of my commissions made it on the check!

    “Britt, do you have a minute?” Sarita poked her head tentatively into her manager’s office.

    “If it’s fast. I’m doing the order for next week.” Britt looked up in annoyance from her crowded desk. The day’s saving grace had been Britt being too busy to work the floor and hassle Sarita. It sucked interacting with Britt when Sarita didn’t have to, but without her commissions there some big bills were going unpaid.

    “I was looking at my deposit, and it looks like none of my commissions made it on my check. Do you know when that could get fixed?”

    “I’m sure your check is right.”

    “But…”

    “You’re not supposed to be on your phone at work anyway.”

    “I was on break.”

    “So you left Anna on the floor alone?” Britt scowled. Before Sarita could protest that the store was empty and that Anna had told her to go on break, her manager slapped the desk in anger. The sudden antagonism made Sarita jump.

    “It’s always something with you. You shouldn’t be using your phone even on break. I don’t want to see you with it at work again.”

    “O-okay, I’m sorry, but what about my commissions? Without them I can’t…”

    “Are you STILL arguing with me? There’s nothing wrong with your check. I should write you up for this!”

    A huge sob burst out of Sarita. It was unprofessional to cry in front of her manager, and dangerous besides. Britt hated it when her employees cried. With hiccupping gasps, Sarita tried to get her sobs under control.

    “You’re crying, really?” Britt rolled her eyes. “Son of a biscuit! I can’t have you helping customers when you’re a wreck. The rest of your shift is suspended. Go home.”

    “But – but – but…”

    “Go HOME Sarita, or you’re fired. That’s the end of it.” With a grim expression, Britt turned back to her computer screen.

    Sarita fled the office. She managed to remember her purse and coat under the register, but couldn’t say anything to Anna. The most she could manage was a lame wave and a sob as she hurried out the door.

    Jogging home, Sarita’s sobs stopped only because she was out of breath. Sick to her stomach, she charged up the stairs fast enough to make her lungs and thighs burn. Her door slammed behind her and Sarita set every lock.

    As she was leaning dizzy against the door, Sarita locked eyes with Nero. He was frozen in place, wearing his most guilty expression. A bit of purple plastic in his mouth made Sarita’s heart thud with dread. Her eyes followed a trail of shredded plastic and fluff from her cat to the stack of decorated diapers. They were scattered across the coffee table and floor. More than seventy decorated diapers were shredded. There wasn’t a single one hat had escaped Nero’s claws or teeth.

    “NERO! YOU BAD, TERRIBLE KITTY!” In a blind rage, she snatched one of her black flats off her feet and threw it at the cat. He dodged out of the way and scampered away like lightning. Even though her anger and despair, she was glad she hadn’t hit him.

    On her knees by the couch, Sarita confirmed her earlier fear. Every diaper she and Pauline had decorated was marked up and slashed. None of them would be able to be sold at the Fairy. The Munch Group had trusted her with hundreds of dollars of merchandise, and it was almost all gone.

    With nothing left inside her, Sarita collapsed on the floor. She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, but it was long enough for the thin carpet to overwhelm her misery with discomfort. Too sad to be hungry, Sarita crawled to her bed.

    A nudge at her ear and a questioning meow intruded on Sarita’s gloomy blanket cocoon. Sarita grabbed Nero by the scruff of his neck and pulled him under the covers, cuddling him to her chest. After only a moment of hesitation, he set to kneading her chest and purring.

    “Of course I forgive you, stupid.” Sarita whispered. “You’re just a cat. Just the worst cat ever.”

    With silent tears glistening on her cheeks, Sarita petted Nero with one hand and fished her phone out with the other. Her bank account stared back at her, depressingly low. It’d be two more weeks to another paycheck. By that time, rent would be due again. With rent bigger than a single check, she was looking at all her money for the next six weeks.

    Especially if I don’t get my commissions again on the next one. That thought lead to bad places, where no amount of cutting other bills would let Sarita afford rent and eat. She shied away from the possibility, nuzzling Nero.

    “We’re going to have to cut back again Nero. I’m not sure we can pay the electric bill, so we’re going to have to eat all the taquitos in the freezer. Don’t worry, I’ll buy you another bag of food – but it’s your fault I owe for the diapers, so you can’t complain if it’s the discount kind.”

    Sniffling away a sob, Sarita cancelled her streaming services and dropped her phone plan to the smallest one her carrier had. None of that would help in the short term, but it’d keep the damage from getting worse next month.

    “We’ll be fine, okay Nero? It’s summer, and we have plenty of blankets. We might have to use candles again, so you have to be careful around those. No burning your whiskers this time. Promise me.”

    Nero chirped something that Sarita took as a promise, for what little her kitty’s promises were worth. Even if she didn’t pay the electric bill, she wasn’t going to be able to replace the diapers and still eat. The thought of shamefully facing Oriana and the others was impossible. It was a problem for another day. Another day never.

    Worst of all, she had to go back to work tomorrow. She had a date coming up with Pauline that she couldn’t afford anymore. It was too much. The weight of everything smashed Sarita’s spirit into grey mush.

    Listlessly, she doom-scrolled and petted Nero. The more stupid things she could see or read, the better. Every distraction was another hasty sandbag blocking the encroaching tide of her problems.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 12

    It took every bit of Sarita’s will to cancel the date with Pauline instead of ghosting her. That painful text was the last one she sent. A pile of notifications sat un-reviewed on her phone, increasing Sarita’s anxiety every time she looked at the number. Eventually, the anxiety had her abandoning her phone altogether.

    Ditching her phone certainly made it easier to deal with Britt’s new draconian phone rule. Sarita floated through work in a sad haze, which of course got her another talking to from her manager. Sarita was too overwhelmed to react in the slightest to Britt’s usual threats of writeups and firing. Surprisingly, Britt didn’t write Sarita up or even hassle her after her lecture failed.

    Being left alone suited Sarita fine. It was good practice for how the rest of everything was going to go. She had no money left to go to The Pony, and she couldn’t face her ABDL friends. It’d been just her and Nero before, and she could survive that way again.

    Pawning some of her jewelry and skipping the electric bill let Sarita scrape together just enough money to buy two new packs of diapers. She hid them in the top of a closet that Nero was too clumsy to reach, and promptly forgot about them. The paint-pens sat collecting dust without the diapers to remind Sarita to decorate.

    Nights ended early and dark anyway, since Sarita was doing everything she could do to conserve power. She’d managed to stay under the dollar threshold for having her power turned off once before, and was really hoping she could get away with it again. Not being able to use a fridge would be it’s own kind of expense.

    At the end of her work week, Sarita was sitting in the dark under a blanket with Nero snuggled against her. They were watching the streetlights and cars drive by. It’s just like TV, once you get used to it. Lights and noises to distract me until I fall asleep.

    An odd thudding sound passed without comment. The noise came again. Sarita realized someone was knocking on her door. Forgetting what time it was, she found herself picturing someone from the power company knocking. With a tight feeling in her gut, she curled up around Nero.

    “Sarita! Are you in there? It’s Mimi.” The knock sounded again. “If you’re in there, please say something. I’m worried about you.”

    It took one more knock for Sarita to stick her head out of the blanket and yell, “Coming!” She shuffled to the door and opened it, blinking at the bright lights of the hallway. Nohemi was framed by the light, her face in shadow. All Sarita could see is that her friend seemed to be frowning.

    “Oh shit, I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” Nohemi stepped in hesitantly. Sarita let her, closing the door so Nero wouldn’t get out. Not that she needed worry about that, since Nero was already sucking up to Nohemi by winding his body around her ankles.

    “No, I was just hanging out.”

    “In the dark?”

    “I’m not um – using the lights right now.”

    “Sarita, what’s going on? You’re not answering your phone. I went to The Pony and Ineis said she hadn’t seen you in a while. I tried your work, and the girl there – Anna I think – said you’d been really down lately.”

    “I had some bad luck.” Sarita could feel her lip quivering. She had a lot of regrets, but the chief one at the moment was letting Nohemi in. Talking to her friend was only going to end one way, with Sarita bawling her eyes out.

    “Do you want to talk about it? Can I help? Do you need a hug?”

    That’s it. Mimi got me. Sarita threw herself at Nohemi, sobbing brokenheartedly. Once she started, there was no way to stop. Nohemi held her tightly, eventually guiding her to the couch through Sarita’s shrieking sobs.

    When she’d regained a semblance of control, Sarita found herself gripping Nohemi’s vest. She’s been wearing a lot of butch stuff lately. The vest looked great, though Sarita missed the dress she’d met her friend in. The absurdly off-topic nature of that thought exhausted Sarita. She sighed and tucked herself under Nohemi’s chin.

    “I’ve got you.” Nohemi stroked Sarita’s back gently. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

    “It’s just that – that there was a problem with my paycheck, and then Nero, he – he…” Whimpering, Sarita buried her face against Nohemi. At a halting, muffled pace, she spilled all her problems on her friend. The loss of her commissions, Nero destroying the diapers, being out of money, unpaid bills, all of it. After a week of not talking to anyone, Sarita found she couldn’t stop.

    “I am SO sorry.” Nohemi hugged Sarita tightly when her babble wound down. “I’ve got to say, the thing with Nero is bad luck, but what happened with your paycheck is straight-up theft.”

    “I probably forgot to mark the commissions as mine or something.”

    “If that happened there’d be a big pile of sales without anyone showing on them. Your boss could, and should fix that. She’s stealing from you, mija.”

    “You really think so?”

    “Managers and owners steal from their workers all the time. It’s a huge problem. You know you can file a wage claim with the department of labor, right?”

    “If I do that she’ll fire me.”

    “If she fires you for that you can get unemployment and the DoL will sue her for you.”

    “If she fires me I’ll be homeless.”

    Nohemi sighed and patted Sarita’s back. “I get it. I’ve been there. I want to help. I can’t afford to pay your electric bill or anything…”

    “I wasn’t going to ask!”

    “I know hon, I know. I’m just saying, I wish I could. But I can invite you over for dinner a couple of nights a week. Or come here and cook. We could even make Nero a little dinner.”

    “You’re going to steal my kitty. He likes you already.”

    The laugh they shared at that shook the pain out of Sarita. A lot of it was waiting at the bottom of her stomach, ready to fill her up again, but her heart was free of ice for the moment. She looked up, belatedly realizing how close her face was to Nohemi’s.

    They stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment. Sarita parted her lips and tilted her head reflexively. Nohemi turned her head awkwardly. Stupid! Nohemi isn’t that kind of friend! Plus I look like a total wreck. God, I’m so pathetic.

    Pulling back quickly, Sarita wiped her face vigorously with her sleeve. When she’d finished scraping tears and a layer of skin off her face, the uncomfortable moment had passed. An attempt at a smile on Sarita’s part was rewarded with a big smile back from Nohemi.

    “Thanks. I’d like having dinner with you. But you have to let me help cook as much as possible. Since I won’t be buying the food.”

    “Deal! I always wanted my own sous chef.” Nohemi patted Sarita on the head. “I wish I could help with the diapers too, but I just had to pay my six month car insurance.”

    “Oh, I got new ones. They aren’t quite as nice as the ones Tanner bought, but if I work hard decorating them, maybe it’ll be okay.”

    “I don’t know if you had to do that, but it’s really sweet of you. Can I see what you’ve done so far? The first batch you did were already really cool.”

    “I – uh – I haven’t done any yet. I put them in the closet to keep them away from Nero and I keep forgetting. I suck.”

    “You do not!” Nohemi pulled Sarita into a fierce hug. “You’re a really good person.”

    “No I’m not. I’ve been ghosting everyone, I keep screwing up…”

    “You’re doing your best. I see that. Everybody struggles sometimes, and that’s you right now. Don’t beat up on yourself. Get help from your friends when you need it.”

    “Thanks Mimi. I – don’t deserve…” Sarita found herself halted by Nohemi’s fingers on her lips. She rolled her eyes, smiled ruefully, and started again. “Thank you. I’m really glad you came over.”

    “Me too. I have to go to work soon, but I could make you something right now if you still have ingredients that need to be used up.”

    “No uh, I ate the last of the taquitos today. Just in case. It’s ten business days past me not paying the electric so – yeah.”

    “Tomorrow night then? I’ll swing by with groceries. You won’t have to do anything but chop veggies.”

    “Yes please.”

    Nohemi stroked Sarita’s face gently. The moment was surprisingly soft; it felt like just before their rejected kiss. Whatever expression Nohemi was wearing was too complicated to be readable. Sarita stared soulfully into her friend’s eyes, hoping Mimi would say something about how she was feeling.

    Instead, Nohemi sighed and leaned back. “You should probably text your girlfriend too.”

    “Pauline? She was upset in the last few texts I saw.” Sarita cringed.

    “You should text both of them. Everybody who’s messaged you. Just let them know you were having a rough time and you’re okay. You don’t have to do a big apology or explain everything.”

    “You’re right. Hey, Mimi?”

    “What hon?”

    “How come you’re so nice to me?”

    “I like you a lot, dummy.” Nohemi ruffled Sarita’s hair, doubling down when Sarita tried to duck out from under the hand. She shrieked and giggled as Nohemi gave her an actual noogie.

    “I haven’t had somebody do that to me since middle-school.”

    “Yeah? Did you ever punch a girl in the arm because you liked her?”

    Sarita snort-laughed. “Oh my god yes. I got sent to detention and everything. She was so annoying, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.”

    “What was her name?”

    “Carmen – I think? Look at me, I’m an old lady who’s forgotten her first love.”

    “Uh huh. That’s how I think of you for sure. Old.”

    “If you think you can be a jerk to me just because you’re my best friend – you’re right.”

    Nohemi’s breath caught in her throat. “I’m your best friend?”

    “Uh, yeah.” Sarita shrugged self-deprecatingly. “Bestie, whatever. I know it’s lame.”

    “It’s not lame. It means a lot.” Nohemi scooted close and gave Sarita a crushing hug. If she didn’t know better, Sarita would have said the hug felt needy. As they parted, Nohemi checked her phone. “Jolines. I’m going to be late. Are you okay?”

    “Yeah, I’m better than okay now. Thanks again, Mimi.”

    “Any time.” Nohemi hesitated for a moment before scampering for the door. She gave Sarita and Nero both a quick wave on her way out the door.

    “She’s amazing. I’m lucky to have her,” Sarita said to Nero. He meowed his agreement.

    Messaging everyone was a daunting task, but Nohemi was right that it needed to be done. Eventually Sarita decided on a group-text to Oriana, Nieves and Ineis. Pauline and Astra got individual texts, it would have been weird to message them together. On a whim, she messaged her dad too.

    The group text got a few quick responses, with her friends saying they were glad she was okay. It felt better than long heartfelt messages would have. Sarita wasn’t feeling up to more big emotional moments.

    Neither Pauline nor Astra replied right away. Dad did, which was a pleasant surprise. He was big mad about Mexican futebol, which was wonderfully nostalgic. With a warm smile, Sarita talked her dad off the ledge from abandoning Club Pachuca for their recent bad results. It was a nice surprise to find out that he’d started following a women’s team too.

    Sarita and her dad didn’t get far discussing the Guadalajara women’s team before he dropped a shocking revelation on her. Dad was going on a date! She cheered him on and teased him in equal measure. It was great to see his texts turn flustered when Sarita asked him if she’d be able to meet his girlfriend at Navidad.

    It was close to bedtime when Sarita finally got a response from one of her girlfriends. She stepped out of the shower to a barrage of texts from Astra, concerned and happy to hear from Sarita in equal measure. Astra had been at some work event, apparently, and kept apologizing for not responding to Sarita right away.

    More to calm her girlfriend down than anything else, Sarita found herself explaining a little of what had happened. She hadn’t gotten further than skipping the power bill when Astra declared she was coming over.

    No amount of explaining that Sarita was okay could blunt Astra’s determination. With a shrug, Sarita turned her attention to her apartment. It was cleaner than usual. Not having TV made it a lot easier to notice messes. After checking her energy levels, Sarita decided to clean up the aftermath of the taquitos and wipe the counter down.

    Astra nearly tackled Sarita when she arrived, barreling through the doorway and giving Sarita a big hug. As soon as she was in Astra’s arms, Sarita felt silly for telling her girlfriend not to come over. It was every bit as good a hug as Nohemi had given. There was the added advantage of Astra’s hug being followed-up with a kiss.

    “Baby girl, I’ve been so worried about you! What’s this about you not being able to pay the power bill?”

    “I got shorted at work. I – guess it’s wage theft or something? There isn’t much I can do about it though.”

    “Well there’s a lot I can do about it. If you pull up your electric account on your phone, I’ll pay it right now.”

    “I can’t ask you to do that!”

    “You’re not asking me. I’m offering.”

    “It’s too much. It’s like two hundred bucks.”

    Astra smiled proudly. “I just got a big sales bonus. The work thing I was at was actually an awards dinner. Please hon, let me share my good fortune with you. I want to take care of you.”

    “I don’t know – it feels weird.”

    “There’s nothing weird about it. Would it help if I told you how much the bonus was?”

    “I guess?”

    “Four thousand dollars.”

    Sarita’s jaw hit the floor, bounced off the carpet, slid under the door, and bounced all the way down the building stairs. Or at least, she was gaping big enough that it might as well have. Her girlfriend’s bonus was a quarter of what Sarita made all year. Astra seemed suddenly taller, like the balance between her and Sarita was out of whack. That balance shifted further when Astra reached out to maternally close Sarita’s mouth.

    “It’s a lot of money, I know. The biggest bonus I’ve gotten by a long shot, though I hope I’ll break that record again. I’m really excited, and I want to do something nice for you. Will you let me, please?”

    It is stupid to get my power turned off and lose my fridge and oven if I have someone offering to pay the bill. She can obviously afford it – why am I working so hard to say no?

    “Okay but – Astra, really, you don’t have to do this. I appreciate it, but I’m not trying to turn you into my sugar mama.”

    “I don’t want to be your sugar mama.” Astra trailed her fingers through Sarita’s hair. “I want to be your Angel. Angels save people, don’t they? I want to save you.”

    I don’t need saving – I mean, I guess I kind of do but just with this one thing. It’s so sweet though. She’s so sweet. I don’t know why I feel nervous! Gratitude made Sarita tear up. She leaned into Astra and nodded. “Thank you, Angel.”

    A trio of tears dripped onto Astra’s blouse as she swaddled Sarita in her arms. Before long, they were on the couch, with Sarita in Astra’s lap. She found herself handing her phone to Astra as soon as she pulled up the electric account.

    “I’ve got you, Little Girl. You don’t have to worry about anything.” Astra pulled a credit card out of her slim black purse, which called Sarita’s attention to the other bag her girlfriend had arrived with. It was an airplane carry-on in purple, with a stylish suede panel on the front.

    “Are you staying over?”

    “That’s right. I brought everything I need to take care of my Little Girl. Do you work tomorrow?”

    “No…”

    “Then I have you all day. You won’t have a single worry for the next twenty four hours, at least.”

    “Uh – I’m supposed to have dinner with Nohemi tomorrow.”

    “Oh, can’t you reschedule? I’d really love to have a whole day with you from start to finish. I’ve got tomorrow off too.” Astra punched her credit card number into the account and hit send. Sarita swallowed nervously as the transaction processed – and cleared. Astra had paid the entire balance, not just the overdue portion.

    I can’t really say no after she just dumped three hundred bucks into my bills. “Okay, I guess I can change the date. What did you have planned?” Sarita took her phone back and shot off a quick apologetic text to Nohemi, with a request to move their dinner out a couple of days.

    Astra put her purse aside. With a radiant smile, she rested a hand on the back of Sarita’s neck. “Taking care of you. That’s the plan. Doing every single thing that my Little Girl will let me do for her.”

    Sarita licked her lips. “Diapers?”

    “That’s right, baby girl. I’d like to put you in one right now.”

    A tingle stirred at the back of Sarita’s neck. It was answered by excited energy, low in her belly. “I guess that’s okay. Is it just the stuff we did before?”

    “I loved all the things we did last time. How about you?”

    “I – yeah, it was fun.” Sarita bit her lip.

    “You know me, I always want to take things to the next level. I want to be sure that you’re comfortable, though.”

    “I don’t want to poop.” Sarita burst out, blushing when she realized how crude she’d sounded.

    Astra laughed. “That’s fine with me. Messy diapers are not my favorite, for sure.”

    “Oh. Then um – what else?”

    “There were some things you pink-packeted that I wonder if you’d be up for now.”

    “Like the baby toys?”

    “Are those okay now?”

    “I don’t hate the idea.” Sarita squirmed.

    “You’re so cute! I want to eat you up!” Astra softly chewed on Sarita’s neck, making her curl up and giggle.

    “You can eat me any time you want.”

    “Oh yeah?” Astra cupped Sarita’s breast, making her gasp. “What else can I do any time I want?”

    “Probably lots of stuff.”

    “Can I make you crawl? I want to see your cute little butt wiggling all over the apartment.”

    The idea was super humiliating. But if my Angel thinks my butt would be cute bent over like that, maybe it’s worth a shot. “Okay, yes.”

     “I want to be in charge of you totally, just like a mommy. Will you let me? I’ll take all your worries away if you let me, Princess.”

    That sounds a lot like play-creep. Coming from Astra, I’m sure there’s a ton of stuff in that offer that we haven’t done before. Sarita searched Astra’s eyes. There wasn’t any malice there, not that there ever had been. All Sarita could see in Astra’s eyes was a genuine desire to take care of her.

    The prospect of resistance felt exhausting. A vacation from worries sounded lovely. Between those emotional poles, Sarita’s hesitation crumbled. “Angel, please take care of me. However you want. Make me your baby girl.”

    Eyes shining with joy, Astra pulled Sarita in for a long kiss. She didn’t wait for the kiss to end before working on Sarita’s clothes. Even if her hesitations hadn’t been banished, Sarita wouldn’t have resisted being stripped by her gorgeous girlfriend. She wiggled out of her clothes as cooperatively as she could, and was bare in no time.

    “I’m not going to set a bunch of rules.” Astra patted Sarita’s thigh. “I expect you to obey me. If you don’t, I’ll punish you. I know that spankings aren’t really a punishment for you, so we’ll save those for when you’re play-bratting. That means I’ll find other ways to correct your behavior.”

    “Like what?” Sarita shifted excitedly on Astra’s lap. The impact-play part of spanking was a lot of what she liked, but punishments in general had the potential to be hot.

    “Time outs are a good one, with you tied up if necessary. Having your mouth soaped is really unpleasant, so I won’t use that unless you’re very naughty. The other big one is that bad girls don’t get orgasms.”

    Sarita whimpered. “I’ll be good.”

    “I know you will sweetie, mostly. I’ll let you know when I want you to be a brat so you can get your big spanking. That won’t count against you being a good girl.”

    Giggling, Sarita leaned in to kiss Astra’s neck. “I start out as a good girl, right?”

    “Hmm, not quite. You’re in a bit of trouble for shutting me out and not answering your messages.”

    “What?” Is that really supposed to be part of the play?

    “You needed help, and you didn’t ask for it. I’m going to give you some incentive to ask next time. I can’t take care of you if you don’t let me, Princess.” Astra tipped Sarita over, pulling the naked girl over her lap.

    She’s going to spank me? But I thought that wasn’t a punishment. Whatever was going on, Sarita was happy to encourage Astra by wiggling her butt.

    “You’ve got a really sexy bubble-butt, Princess.” Astra stroked Sarita’s rear, squeezing gently. “I bet everyone you’ve dated has wanted to spank you.”

    “It’s a good thing I like it so much.” Sarita gripped the couch cushion. She was already so wet, all she needed was Astra to heat her rear up and touch her a bit. It was a great start to their evening, more than good enough to cover up the weirdness of being punished for real world stuff.

    The spanking started slow, building delicious anticipation. Sarita hoped the slow pace meant that Astra was warming her up for a really big spanking. Licking her lips in anticipation, she moaned with each gentle slap.

    The strokes came faster, but no harder, until all of Sarita’s butt was enveloped in a warm glow. She had her legs open and was sure she was dripping onto Astra’s skirt. Any moment now, surely, the heavy hits would begin.

    It was already the best spanking she’d gotten. A pulse thudding between Sarita’s legs hinted at a chance to climax from the spanking alone. That sounded insane, by which Sarita meant insanely hot.

    Astra kept up her light strokes, peppering the under-curve of Sarita’s butt and the tops of her thighs. Sensation kept building, but more was needed. Sarita was lifting her hips toward every smack, wishing for a paddle or even a cane, instead of Astra’s soft hand.

    “I’m a bad girl!” Sarita cried, desperately. “I need a hard spanking, Angel, please.”

    “No, not today.” Astra cupped Sarita’s crotch, soaking her hand instantly. Sarita whimpered uncomprehendingly, grinding her sex against Astra’s hand. All she managed was to ramp up her frustration.

    “I told you that you were being punished. You’re being sent to bed horny tonight.”

    Sarita rolled over and looked at Astra in shock. It was the worst punishment she’d heard from Astra so far, especially since they’d be sleeping in the same bed. Astra looked back with a smug smile.

    “Please, no. Angel I want a different punishment. You can soap my mouth, whatever. I have some really gross, cheap hand soap!”

    “No.” Astra bapped Sarita on the nose. “You upset me and made me worry, plus I’m sure a lot of other people in your life too. The fact that you’re protesting this much means it’s an excellent punishment.”

    The reality of Astra’s admonishment sank into Sarita’s stomach like lead. It didn’t feel fair. The game was supposed to hide her real life problems, not use them as punishment fodder. I screwed up. I’m in trouble. I’m a bad girl.

    Guilt and shame hit Sarita’s already fragile emotional state like a wrecking ball. She shot into a Little mindset, hard. Unable to face ageplay blending with the real world, Sarita could only focus on the unfairness of what her Angel was doing to her.

    That unfairness swelled past frustration into anger. Sarita burst into tears, kicking her legs and thrashing in her first tantrum in over a decade. “It’s not fair! You’re mean! You’re really mean!”

    “Uh oh. Somebody’s feeling super Little. Don’t worry Princess, your Angel will take care of you. This little punishment will be over before you know it. We’ll start tomorrow fresh and have lots of fun together.”

    “We could have fun tonight too!” Saria sniffled. “Please, I’ll be a good girl. Please, please Angel, please.”

    “It is way past your bedtime. It was past your bedtime when I got here. The only thing you’re going to get right now is a diaper and ready for bed. Let go and let me be in charge for a while Princess.”

    Defeated and exhausted, Sarita flopped limp in surrender. She was pliable and obedient when Astra slid the changing blanket and a diaper under her. As Astra applied the lotion and powder, she even began to doze a little. Between her sudden fatigue and Little mindset, Sarita’s Angel had to help her to the bathroom.

    Letting Astra brush Sarita’s teeth for her was the final capitulation. Sarita’s brain switched off. The only thing she dimly registered, was crawling into bed with her naked girlfriend. Astra’s lush, gorgeous nakedness reignited the nagging desire in Sarita’s warm butt and sex.

    It took nearly an hour of frustrated squirming for Sarita to fall asleep. In the end, her Angel had to wrap her arms and legs around Sarita, burying the Little girl’s face in breasts. Drunk on boobie-smell and an emotional crash, Sarita spun down to unconsciousness.

    —–

    In the morning, Sarita awoke sprawled across her naked girlfriend. Astra was playing with her hair. After a couple of morning yawns from the diapered girl, Astra filled Sarita’s mouth with a pacifier. A budding spark of adult thought in Sarita’s brain was smothered before it could properly wake her up.

    She didn’t need adult thoughts anyway. Feeling was better than thinking. That was especially true when Astra rolled Sarita on her back and stroked her breasts. Angel’s hands played expertly across Sarita’s body until she was squirming desperately, straining her body up to meet Astra’s hands.

    The heel of Astra’s hand came down over Sarita’s bladder, gentle but insistent. Sarita submitted with only a brief hesitation. Her reward for wetting was a beautiful smile from her Angel, followed by her mouth on Sarita’s breasts.

    Sarita moaned and pawed at her Angel. The nipple of her pacifier was replaced with Astra’s nipple, to both girls’ delight. Astra slipped her hand into Sarita’s sopping diaper and touched the Little girl’s slit, as delicately as a whisper.

    They spent a long time in bed together, increasingly flushed and sweaty. Astra’s skillful fingers sent an electric spiral through Sarita, radiating out from between her legs. The Little girl’s body arched in bliss, followed closely by a guttural moan from Astra.

    Their cuddles afterwards were the most uncomplicated happiness Sarita had felt with Astra. Waking up in ageplay submission to her Angel had put Sarita in a dreamy state. All she cared about was being happy and belonging to her Angel. Nothing else mattered, or even made it to her conscious mind.

    “When we’re like this in bed together, I want you to wet as soon as you wake up.” Astra said softly, stroking Sarita’s cheek. “I know you’re not a bedwetter, but I love the idea of you needing me right when you wake up. Can you do that for me?”

    “Yes Angel.” Sarita nodded vacuously.

    “My beautiful, perfect Princess.” Astra kissed Sarita gently. “We have a whole day together. You don’t worry about anything. Your Angel will take care of it all, including Nero. You just be as Little a baby girl as you want to be.”

    “Okay!” Sarita lay back and luxuriated in the freedom Astra promised.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 13

    Within the warm embrace of a bubble bath, Sarita had no concerns or anxieties. The same could not be said for Nero. He hated it when Sarita took a bath. When his meows at Sarita went un-answered, he tracked Astra down and berated her. Unfortunately for the little black tyrant, Astra was willing to talk back, but not bend to his demands. Returning to the bathroom, Nero made a big show of getting up on the counter. Sarita took note of her kitty’s rule-breaking, but continued to luxuriate in the tub. Disgusted, Nero glared at Sarita and lashed his tail.

    Astra entered the bathroom to give Sarita’s hair a final rinse and pull her out of the tub. Satisfied that he had sat, meowed, and conquered, Nero went to the window to watch his morning birds. For her part, Sarita was fascinated at how helpless Astra was allowing her to be. The constant attention felt like something that might be annoying with time, but for the moment it was a silly delight.

    Sitting on the side of the tub, Sarita had her teeth brushed by Astra. No sooner had Astra rinsed Sarita’s mouth out with a cup of water than she put a fresh pacifier in the girl’s mouth. The pacifier was really comforting, not so much for the physical soothing, but because it meant Sarita wouldn’t have to talk. The depth to which she’d been plunged into Astra’s ageplay game was a little intimidating. Sarita had no idea what her lines were supposed to be.

    Baby talk is right out. Sarita thought, though the thought was almost silly considering that she was crawling to her bedroom. Astra had done a lot of cleaning while Sarita was in the tub. Her bed was made, and it looked like the sheets had been changed too. Hopping onto the bed and changing blanket, Sarita admitted that she could get used to having someone clean for her.

    Being diapered was rapidly losing its embarrassment factor. Not that she was going to rush to tell Ineis or her dad about her diapers, but there was no anxiety in Astra taping her into another padded garment. Instead, it gave her a small rush of excitement. As the excitement faded, the smell and feel of a diaper evoked the care she’d gotten from Astra.

    Sarita let herself sink into that feeling. Her new level of Little mindset made it easy to submit to Astra’s wardrobe choices without question. Sarita’s Angel dressed her in a sports bra and sundress before sending Sarita crawling to the living room.

    Crawling in a sundress necessitated leaving her diaper exposed, but the only person around to see was Astra, and she’d put Sarita in the thing. Sarita was pleased to see that Nero had decided he liked diapered time. The sounds of Astra bustling around in the kitchen, while a warm kitty cuddled on her lap, lulled Sarita into a doze.

    “Breakfast time!” Astra pulled a chair up to the couch and balanced a plate on her hand. Sarita’s curious gaze caught pre-cut waffles and bacon. She spit out her pacifier to accept a forkful of both. There didn’t seem to be a way to keep the syrup from being messy, or maybe Astra wasn’t trying to keep Sarita clean. It was fun either way, Sarita giggled each time Astra cleaned her face with a damp washcloth. Food was followed by a baby bottle with water in it. By the time she’d drained the bottle, Sarita was stuffed.

    “You’re such a good baby girl, eating your whole breakfast.” Astra stroked Sarita’s hair. “If I put you down for a nap, do you think you’ll sleep?”

    “I think so.” The apartment felt a lot warmer than usual. Combined with a big breakfast, Sarita was certainly drowsy. Even if she couldn’t sleep, she felt like she could space out indefinitely.

    Being tucked into nice clean sheets was heavenly. Astra produced a soft pink teddy bear and snuggled her into Sarita’s arms. “I got you a new friend. You cuddle her and enjoy your nap. I’m so proud of you for being such a good Little Girl this morning.”

    Sarita blushed and clutched the bear. It was strange to be praised for doing nothing, but it felt good anyway. It wasn’t clear if Astra expected a response or not, but she didn’t seem bothered when Sarita stayed silent. Astra eliminated talking as a possibility anyway by putting the pacifier back in Sarita’s mouth. This time it had a ribbon on the handle, which Astra clipped to Sarita’s dress.

    “If you need to potty any time during your nap, just go. Your diaper will take care of it, and I’ll check you in a bit.” Astra patted Sarita’s diaper through the covers. Sarita nodded, and was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek. Moments later she was alone in her bedroom, with the door and blinds closed.

    Sarita must have slept, though she didn’t remember falling asleep. She woke to Astra checking her diaper. When she found it dry, Astra put her hand over Sarita’s bladder again. The insistent pressure was too much of a bother to resist. To her delight, Sarita was rewarded for wetting by a flurry of gentle kisses.

    Crawling back to the main room revealed an impressive transformation. The apartment was the cleanest it had been since Sarita had moved in. It wasn’t up to the pristine sterility of Astra’s apartment, but Sarita’s jaw dropped nevertheless.

    “You were cleaning the whole time?”

    “You’re welcome, Princess. I told you I’d take care of everything. I can’t baby you like this every day – yet, but I’m happy to take all the worries that I can .”

    “Th-thank you,” Sarita stammered belatedly.

    “Of course. Hop up on my lap for another bottle and then you can play.”

    It was weird to be drinking another bottle of water so soon. Sarita wasn’t so out of it that she didn’t see what Astra was doing with all the liquid, which only served to push her further out of her Little mindset. Reluctantly, she climbed into Astra’s lap and set to draining another bottle of water.

    With a freshly full tummy, Sarita sat on her damp padding and looked over the toys Astra had given her. The brightly colored xylophone, plastic blocks, and teething ring might have been appealing in the morning when the baby mindset had been strong. At the moment, Sarita felt ridiculous, like she was playing a part for Astra’s amusement.

    Half-heartedly banging on the xylophone made Astra smile, which made some nice warmth in Sarita’s heart. She couldn’t bring herself to even touch the teething ring, but found some joy in stacking the blocks. Their slightly rounded shapes made it a bit of a challenge to arrange them in a single column, especially on the couch.

    Astra silenced an alarm on her phone and reached over to pat Sarita’s padded crotch. “Do you need to potty?”

    “Um – yeah.” Sarita had just barely realized it herself. With Astra looking at her expectantly, Sarita blushed and relaxed. The look of excitement on Astra’s face as she held Sarita’s slowly-filling diaper was equal parts humiliating and sexy.

    “Good girl!” Astra gave Sarita’s wet padding a squeeze, which squeezed a moan out of the diapered girl.

    “You set an alarm for when I’d need to go?”

    “I didn’t know exactly, but most people need to go within a half hour of drinking a bunch of liquid. I’m proud of you for wetting right away. This is great for your diaper training.”

    My. What. Sarita’s face prickled with heat until she was sure she looked sunburnt. “Diaper training?”

    “I want you to feel natural about using your diapers, so that you don’t have to think about it when you’re padded,” Astra gushed, her face lit up with excitement. “If we’re really lucky, you could even learn to wet when you’re sleeping.”

    She wants me to wet in my sleep?! Isn’t that just a bedwetter? If that starts, what happens if I’m not wearing a diaper at night? “Um, is that what we’re doing today?”

    “We don’t have to make it the focus. It’ll be more of a background thing. How’s that diaper feel? Do you need a change?” Astra squished the padding again, making Sarita squirm.

    “I’m pretty wet – it’d be nice to get a change.” Sarita bit her lip, her thoughts racing as she tried to figure a way out of diaper training. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Astra, especially after everything her Angel had done for her in the last day.

    “I thought so. You don’t seem quite like the happy baby I had this morning. Don’t worry Princess, I’ve got another surprise to help you appreciate your wet diapers.”

    Before Sarita could ask about the surprise, Astra’s lips met hers. The tender kiss lead to a steamier one, which lead to Sarita making out with her Angel on Astra’s lap. Her sundress and bra came off, leading to delightful touches across Sarita’s back and chest. The soggy padding was a bit of a bother, but Sarita did her best to ignore it.

    Her hands sought Astra’s blouse buttons. One by one the pearly discs yielded to Sarita’s hands, revealing the enticing expanse of Astra’s cleavage. Sarita didn’t have the angle to reach for Astra’s bra clasp, settling for pulling down her bra cups instead.

    “Mmm, what are you doing there, Princess?” Astra caught Sarita’s hands, tucking them behind the Little Girl’s back.

    “I know you like it when I – suck on your nipples. I have some cream for my coffee that you could use if you want to pretend again.” Nervously, Sarita struggled against the hold on her wrists. Even with the making out they’d just done, it was hard to feel sexy in a wet diaper.

    “Princess.” Astra blinked away tears. “You’re perfect, do you know that? You’re a perfect Little Girl. That’s a wonderful suggestion, and it’s going to be even better with your surprise.”

    Sarita felt anything but perfect as she waited for Astra to come back with the cream, but if her Angel thought so, that was a nice bit of safety. The tiny voice inside her that always predicted doom for her relationships was quieted by the word perfect.

    It took a moment to get settled on the couch properly. Astra wanted Sarita on her lap and her breasts, but the angles simply didn’t work. Angel settled for laying Sarita across her lap, cradling her head in one hand. The other hand was holding a device that caught Sarita’s imagination instantly.

    A real vibrating wand had been on Sarita’s wish list since she’d heard about them, but had always seemed too expensive compared to a budget vibrator. She didn’t have to wonder long about what the wand would feel like through a diaper. As soon as Astra pressed the head of the wand to Sarita’s crotch, waves of sensation crashed relentlessly through the diapered girl’s body.

    The only thought Sarita could muster was that she was glad the wand was on it’s low setting. Pulsing vibration was assaulting her crotch from every angle, thrumming through the wet padding over her rear and up to her waist as well. Her jaw went slack and the world blurred as everything but Sarita’s sense of touch shut down.

    As an afterthought, she tried to reach for Astra’s breast with her mouth, but there was too much vibration. The wand felt like it was shaking Sarita’s insides until her brain rattled. She gasped and moaned, helpless before the intensity of the pleasure in her sex.

    When the first climax came, it was hardly noticeable against the sheer ecstasy thundering through Sarita’s nerves. It took three or four in a row to really get the diapered girl’s attention. Mewling and pawing at Astra, Sarita thrashed as the waves of pleasure became waves of orgasms.

    After an eternity of sensation, Sarita begged Astra to stop the wand. Mercifully, her Angel did, gently massaging Sarita’s crotch with her hand instead. Astra put Sarita’s trembling lips to her nipple and the Little Girl sucked absently, still shuddering and moaning as aftershocks wracked her.

    As Sarita came back to herself, she could hear Astra moaning. Her Angel’s voice was lusty and guttural. A glance upward showed Astra’s face flushed and sweaty. Sarita redoubled her efforts, eagerly sucking cream off Astra’s breasts until she heard her Angel scream.

    They cuddled on the couch together, panting happily. Sarita let herself melt against her Angel, the weirdness of diaper training momentarily forgotten. There was only her Angel and the safety she brought.

    Later, they made their way quietly to the bedroom for a diaper change. Astra had another bottle for Sarita. Still unsure of how to say no, Sarita drank it all. The best way out of a disagreement seemed to be to use her pacifier as much as possible. Astra seemed happy to accept that Sarita was feeling non-verbal.

    Not talking was as much of a refuge from having to engage too much with Astra’s game as it had been in the morning. Sarita cuddled with Astra as they watched a movie, dutifully wetting each time Astra’s alarm went off. There was something worrisome and heavy hanging from Sarita’s heart.

    The more she surrendered to Astra, the fuzzier Sarita was able to feel mentally. She pushed hard for that fuzzy feeling, retreating from the uncertainty she could feel building up. With enough effort, Sarita was able to get the rest of the evening to speed by in a blur. The last thing she remembered was Astra tucking her in and apologizing for not being able to spend the night again.

    —–

    Work the next day was strange. Britt didn’t say two words to Sarita, not even when she knocked over an entire table of sweaters. Anne came to the rescue, helping Sarita re-fold each of the garments while Britt retreated to her office. Out from under the watchful eye of their horrible manager, Sarita and Anne had their first good work conversation in ages.

    After work, Sarita felt mentally flat. It was a big improvement over all the times she’d left crying, or involuntarily running from the store. She had enough energy to text back a few short responses to her friends and head home for a quiet evening with Nero.

    Pauline still hadn’t responded to any of Sarita’s texts. The worry that generated was enough to penetrate the grey veil of Sarita’s mood. She did her best to compose an apology text, editing it ten times before she finally sent it.

    Ten minutes later, a text came in. Sarita jumped eagerly for her phone, but it wasn’t from Pauline.

    Astra: Hi Princess. There’s a private event at the Green Fairy next week. I can’t wait to show you off to everyone! Don’t worry about your work, it starts after the store is closed. I’ll pick you up at 10 on Wednesday.

    Sarita stared at the message, with its coda of lipstick and heart emojis. Before she’d really thought about it, she texted back a heart. There was no immediate response from Astra. Leaving things ambiguous seemed to be the safest thing. She didn’t have the energy to ask about the event, Astra would be sure to launch into a big sales pitch at any questions.

    At least she wants me around, and wants me to meet her friends. I hope her other girlfriends aren’t there though. That would be really awkward, especially if she broke up with them like Mimi said.

    With a shrug, Sarita booted up Astra’s streaming services she’d left logged in on the television. Somebody loved her, and that’s all that was important. Everything would work out eventually if they loved each other enough.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 14

    Content Warning: Not Checking For Consent – Careless Domination Play

    The interior of Astra’s car was stifling hot. Sarita wiped a bead of sweat off her eyebrow and looked out the window impatiently, hoping they’d find a parking spot soon. Though some of her overheating was due to the warm summer night, most of the sweat could be laid at the feet of her outfit.

    A bulky diaper was warm at the best of times, especially when covered by a onesie and tights. Over that, Sarita was wearing one of Astra’s overcoats. It was comically oversized on her, but it hid all her baby clothes. Being out in public in baby gear was so nerve-wracking that Sarita didn’t dare open the coat, despite Astra’s windows being tinted.

    I wish I knew more about what’s going to happen tonight, or who’s going to be there. Sarita fidgeted in her seat, stuck in a love-hate relationship with her crinkly diaper. Being diapered in public should have been a safeword-worthy humiliation, but they’d only be in public from the walk to the car to the club entrance. Diapers already felt like a promise of sexy fun, and doing sexy things at a club was exciting and wild.

    After a mediocre day at work, that had become Sarita’s new-normal, Astra had descended on her and taken over. It was great to have some positive human contact after getting the cold shoulder from Britt. Life had taken on a dangerous, out of control feeling of late. Having an Angel to lean on calmed the worst of Sarita’s anxieties.

    I don’t want a sugar-mama, but maybe an ABDL mommy would be okay. My Angel takes really good care of me. All I have to do is rely on her and let her be in charge. Trusting Astra that much had it’s own anxiety attached. Sarita was well past her naive phase of thinking that any kind of love was forever. People either leave or they die, we’re all alone in the end.

    Lost in her angsty thoughts, Sarita had stopped scanning the street for parking spots. Astra had finished parallel parking the car when Sarita snapped out of her reverie. Her Angel patted Sarita gently on the cheek.

    “We’re here, Princess. Are you okay? You’re not nervous about tonight, are you?”

    “N-no, I was just thinking. Well – maybe a little nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

    “Everyone is going to love you. Your outfit is beyond adorable, and sexy too.” Astra wiped Sarita’s forehead. “Let’s get you inside so you can get rid of that coat and cool off.”

    I’d probably be the center of attention no matter what I was wearing since I’m here with Astra. The little bit of breeze outside the car was a nice start on getting cool. Sarita was feeling desperate to take Astra’s coat off, which meant going into the club. Nervously, she took Astra’s hand and followed her girlfriend down the street.

    There was a line on the stairs that dropped below street level to the Green Fairy’s door. It wasn’t a surprise to see mostly couples in the line, nor that one person in each couple would defer to the other. They were on their way into a fetish club, after all. Sarita counted a lot of coats similar to hers, despite the warm night. The silhouettes under those coats were almost universally pear-shaped, even among the men.

    “Ast – Angel, is tonight just for – teddy bear door people?”

    “That’s right Princess. You’ll be able to drop your coat off at the check in the main room.” Astra patted Sarita’s butt, getting a nice crinkle out of the padding there. Thankfully, everyone in line was caught up in their own low-toned conversations and didn’t seem to notice.

    A portion of the weight eased off Sarita’s shoulders. She was glad to not be outing herself as an ageplayer to people in other kinks. The solidarity of everyone else being into the same kink felt good too. For the first time, Sarita’s anxiety about the night was no more than first-time jitters.

    “Thanks for inviting me tonight, Angel.” Sarita snuggled up against Astra’s side. Her girlfriend, mommy, Angel – whatever she was, looked amazing that night. Astra was in a puff-sleeved midi dress with a bodice top. The bodice didn’t so much cover Astra’s prodigious bosom as cradle it. With vibrant roses running down pristine white fabric in columns, she was as much of a hot mommy as Sarita had ever seen. The 1950’s housewife curls in Astra’s hair cemented the look.

    “Are you feeling better about coming out tonight?” Astra put an arm protectively around Sarita. “You were nervous during the car ride.”

    “It was scary at first, but now that I know it’s just ABDL people I feel better. I’m getting excited now.”

    “That’s amazing news, Princess! We’re going to have a great night, you have no idea.”

    Sarita leaned into Astra and pushed the rest of her anxieties away. Her Angel had picked a safe night for Sarita’s first time in the teddy bear area. She could rely on Astra for everything else if she was willing to trust. Daringly, Sarita threw caution to the wind and silenced the rest of her questions. Asking a bunch of questions like how going to the bathroom is going to work will just take down the mood. I’ll let Angel handle that and concentrate on the fun!

    At the door, the bouncer didn’t just greet Astra by name, she made a point of learning Sarita’s. The special treatment had Sarita giggling excitedly. I’ve never been a VIP before. At the coat check, Astra was showered in compliments for her dress. Impatient to match her date, Sarita shucked her coat right away.

    They made quite a pair. Sarita’s onesie was white and patterned with roses much like Astra’s. The tights that her Angel had stretched over Sarita’s bulging butt were rose-red, and her feet were encased in white Velcro shoes. Astra had put her hair in pigtails and clipped a pacifier to her onesie, but the dress-up hadn’t stopped there.

    Sarita’s tan complexion had been lightened with some foundation, the better to show off the pink blush Astra had applied to her cheeks. At home, the blush had seemed a bit much, but seeing all the other ABDL people made Sarita glad she had it on. The crown jewel of her makeup was mascara and eyeshadow with ridiculous gold sparkles.

    As soon as Sarita had the coat off, the crowd shifted its attention to her. Having all eyes on her was intoxicating. Compliments rained down on her on all sides, the crowd was staring with delighted expressions. Someone took her coat to the check for her like Sarita was a celebrity. They handed the coat check ticket to Astra, not Sarita. Along with the childish way people were cooing at Sarita, the automatic assumption that Astra was in charge made Sarita feel Little on an almost physical level.

    With their most ardent admirers trailing along, Sarita and Astra stepped up to the bar. The bar area had been decorated with stuffies, balloons, and drapes of pastel fabric until it looked more like an episode of a children’s show than a fetish club.

    “I’ll have a Cosmopolitan, and my baby girl will have a cold bottle.” Astra passed a card to the bartender, though it looked like a membership card to the Green Fairy instead of a credit card.

    Sarita was excited to get a beer. She’d been in enough of a Little mindset that she hadn’t even been thinking about alcohol. Now that it had come up, it sounded like exactly what she needed to finish relaxing.

    Instead of the familiar brown glass of a beer bottle, Sarita found herself staring at a glass baby bottle, full of what looked like milk. The bartender turned away to make Astra’s drink while Sarita stared at the bottle.

    Astra pressed the cool glass into Sarita’s hands. “Do you need help, Princess, or can you drink your bottle on your own?” Easily a dozen people were looking at Sarita expectantly. Bashfully, she raised the bottle and sucked on the nipple. It was milk, and not even spiked like a white Russian.

    “She’s going to drink from a bottle on her first night here?” one of the admirers asked. Another person crowded in, asking, “She’s not having a cocktail? How long did you say you two have been dating?”

    “Less than a month, and she wasn’t ABDL at all before we met.” Astra smiled smugly, wrapping her arms around Sarita from behind. “She uses her diapers and everything. My Princess is absolutely amazing. A natural baby girl.”

    A torrent of praise came from the onlookers, some for Sarita, but most of it for Astra. No one asked Sarita’s name, instead referring to her as Princess, or Astra’s Princess. Suddenly terrified that someone was going to start baby-talking at her, Sarita kept her lips firmly on her bottle. She hasn’t introduced me to anybody. What was that about my diapers? Is she expecting me to use them – here?

    With her drink in hand, Astra broke away from her admirers and lead Sarita toward the teddy bear door. The reprieve was nice. As soon as they were out of earshot of the others, Sarita took the bottle out of her mouth and tugged on Astra’s skirt.

    “Angel, what you were saying…”

    “I know, Princess! They all love you, just like I said. Wasn’t that fun? I’m so proud of you. So proud of my pretty baby Princess.” Astra leaned down and kissed Sarita passionately. There was so much excitement and joy in the embrace that Sarita rose to her toes to press against her Angel.

    They don’t love me, they love my Angel. She dressed me, she made me use the diapers and ordered a bottle for me, she’s choosing everything. Everyone accepts that I belong to her. It’s like I’m her toy. Sarita’s pulse was hammering so hard she could feel it in her neck. Her crotch was warm, and would have been wet but for the absorbent padding swaddling it.

    Choosing to be Astra’s toy, to be her Princess, was sexy enough for Sarita to be over-warm in her baby outfit again. The soft childish onesie pressing against her chest with no bra in the way sent tingles across her skin. Bulky padding on her butt squished her adult thoughts off to the side. Of course I’ll use my diaper when I need to pee. I’m Astra’s Princess.

    Sarita didn’t know what she’d been expecting to see on the other side of the teddy bear door, but it hadn’t been a hallway. She giggled at herself for expecting the door to open into something like Narnia or Wonderland. Skipping along, hand in hand with her Angel, Sarita listened eagerly to the music coming from the end of the hall.

    The first proper room was a baby disco. Sarita stared slack-jawed in wonder as the lights hitting the disco ball changed from pastels to primary colors, then back again. The floor was covered in a soft mat, except for a strip along the edge for seating and a walkway. There was a DJ in the corner, wearing a teddy-bear fursuit.

    Most of the seating along the wall was in pairs, with a normal chair next to a stuffed-animal chair. There were a few Caregiver and Little pairs sitting, but the dance floor was well populated. Sarita’s eyes were drawn to the other Littles, boys and girls in everything from shortalls, to pajamas, to outright naked except for a diaper or some plastic pants.

    Astra squeezed Sarita’s shoulder and leaned close to her ear. “You want to dance, Princess?”

    “I do! Yes please! Dance with me, Angel?”

    Astra giggled. “I will, I promise, but there’s no shoes allowed on that mat. I want to say hello to people before I take my heels off. Do you want to get started while I make the rounds, or would you like to come with me?”

    Being treated as Astra’s toy by people at the bar had been hot, but only in combination with everything else that was going on. Sarita wasn’t eager for a repeat of that experience. Besides, following her Angel around was competing with dancing. There was no actual contest.

    “I wanna dance!” Sarita grinned, clinging happily to Astra when her Angel came in for a kiss. Her shoes were stored in a shelf-cubby, along with the diaper bag Astra had brought. Sarita’s Angel insisted on her finishing the bottle of milk before she was allowed on the dance floor. She tipped the bottle upside down and chugged it with true party-girl enthusiasm.

    Out on the floor, surrounded by diapered people, Sarita felt blissful Littleness infusing her thoughts. There were very few bigs dancing, which made it easy to pretend that they were all baby-sized. It’d been so long since Sarita had properly been dancing that her heart was full of rainbows. The novelty of her clothes and those of the other Littles captured the feeling of the first time Sarita had been to a club.

    In her memories she was sixteen again, with a stolen ID and saucer-wide eyes at all the glorious clubwear the other ladies wore. Mentally, she hadn’t picked an age. The details seemed unimportant. It was much better to focus on shaking her diaper to the beat and giggling as she played patty-cake with the baby girl dancing across from her.

    A lot of the Littles were barefoot. Sarita saw the wisdom in that after the third time her tights sent her sliding across the mat. She bumped up against a classic blonde with full, pink cheeks and a natural pear shape. The blonde caught Sarita’s hands and went right into some swing steps that were hilariously out of step with the beat-heavy club remix of Rafi’s Baby Beluga.

    Sarita’s attempts at exaggerated swing dance had her on the floor, taking the blonde girl down with her. A crash that would have been painful or bloody in a regular club was a mere bump onto padded butts. Giggling madly, the other girl reached out for a hug, which Sarita happily joined in on. The last time I was this touchy with a total stranger was when I took Molly. Little space is a hell of a drug.

    The blonde girl crawled off the dance floor, motioning for Sarita to follow. Not trusting her slippery feet was a great excuse for Sarita to crawl without feeling self-conscious. They reached the edge of the mat, but the blonde girl kept going. Sarita stopped at the doorway her dance-buddy had crawled through, and looked for her Angel.

    From the floor, it was hard to see the room well, but Sarita was reasonably sure that Astra wasn’t anywhere in the disco room. The only spots she couldn’t see were chair-heavy areas around the wall, and wallflower was the last word she’d use to describe her Angel.

    If she can leave the room, so can I. She’s not my real mom! Sarita giggled and crawled after her new acquaintance. She found herself in a side room with heavy sound shielding that reduced the pounding bass from the dance floor to a dull thud. The floor was padded just as the dance floor was. On one side of the room were blankets set out in a grid like a daycare at nap-time. So early in the evening, there weren’t any takers on naps.

    On the other side of the room were shelves bearing juice boxes and cookies. The blonde girl already had one of each in her lap, and was holding another pair for Sarita to take. With eagerness that surprised herself, Sarita took the treats. Neither she nor her new friend wasted any time getting into the goodies. Blondie was a messy eater, getting cookie bits all over her face. Sarita giggled, eating her own more sedately and washing the bites down with sweet grape juice.

    “We could be sisters, you know.” Blondie tossed her empty juice box aside.

    Sarita stared at the extremely white girl in front of her incredulously. “Uh – that’s super sweet but we don’t really look anything alike.”

    “No, I mean, sometimes Littles pretend to be related. It’s really fun to have a sister or brother to play with.”

    “Oh.” Sarita drained the last of her juice box to give herself time to think about that. It seemed like a bold offer to be the first thing to say to someone. “I guess I can see the appeal…”

    “Great! Want to pretend to be sisters?” Blondie hopped closer to Sarita excitedly.

    “What all does that mean? Is it like a uh – dating thing?” Sarita backed away, finding the wall at her back after only a couple of scoots.

    “It could be, if our caregiver likes to see diaper girls together.” Blondie wasn’t taking the hint, she was right up in Sarita’s personal space. At least she had the good graces to not actually touch Sarita, so far. “Do you like other diaper girls? Would you like to play sexy games with a diaper girl?”

    Sarita’s mind flashed to her diapered grind session with Pauline. That’s a hard yes. Diapers in general had gotten so tangled up with sex in Sarita’s experience that she’d never come down from her earlier arousal. Plus-sized girls were great in Sarita’s book, almost all girl shapes were, really. It’s more about the person, who they are and their personality. Woah, Blondie’s tits look incredible in that onesie. Blondie? I don’t even know her name!

    “You’re hot, but maybe we should jump back to names.” Sarita giggled nervously. “I’m Sarita.”

    “I know who you are.” The blonde girl stared intensely into Sarita’s eyes until she felt like her soul was transfixed. “I’m Jenevieve.”

    Oh shit. “Oh uh – hi? I’ve heard your name too. You and Astra were – were uh…”

    “I was her baby girl.” Jenevieve grabbed Sarita’s hands urgently. “I still could be, if we were sisters. I’ll top for you, or bottom, whatever we want. Or we don’t have to do roles, or even have sex. You can get me in trouble when you do something naughty, I’ll take the blame every time. I don’t mind, really!”

    Oh no. Dios fucking mío. I have to get out of here. There is way too much crazy here. “That’s um – a lot! We just met so maybe we’d start like, a lot slower.” Sarita worked her hands out of Jenevieve’s and scooted to the side.

    “Okay, that’s fine too! How do you want to start? Maybe we could do playdates or something. Is she diaper-training or potty-training you? Whichever one you’re doing, I can do the opposite so that you look good.”

    Sarita managed to slide down the wall enough to get her back to the break-room’s door without Jenevieve seeming to notice. Bracing her hands on the mat, she considered how best to let the other girl down gently.

    “Maybe that would work. It’s something I’d have to talk to Astra about, you know how she likes to be in charge and everything.” Sarita’s attempt at a teasing laugh came out cringy and hysterical. Joder, there’s no way she doesn’t realize I’m trying to get away. Pushing herself to her feet, Sarita backed through the doorway. “I’ll go ask her right now.”

    “Sarita, wait!” Jenevieve wailed, launching herself forward to grab Sarita’s wrist. “Please help me. I’m sorry I came on too strong. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to end up like Mimi.”

    The bottom dropped out of Sarita’s stomach. She stared down at Jenevieve with her mouth hanging open. It can’t be the same Mimi. It’s got to be a different woman. I’m sure there’s lots of Latinas in Ardenthill – that are into ABDL – and are named Nohemi. Fuck.

    “What do you mean? What happened to Mimi?”

    “She was Astra’s baby girl, but they had a fight in the club, and now Mimi can’t come to private events anymore.” Jenevieve had tears streaming down her cheeks. “Please, Sarita, please. Don’t tell Astra what I said to you. It’s okay if we don’t do the sister thing. Y-you don’t have to talk to me anymore. Just don’t tell Astra.”

    “I won’t.” Sarita lied, twisting her wrist to free it from Jenevieve’s grasp. “I am going to go, though. I’ll see you around. It was fun dancing. We should dance again – maybe even tonight!”

    Fleeing the distraught girl, Sarita waddle-ran as best she could through the club. Astra was nowhere to be seen in the only other room Sarita was familiar with, the disco. A randomly chosen door took Sarita into a room full of small tents. Without taking in what was going on there, she was through the next door.

    Sarita’s stockinged feet skittered across polished hardwood in what looked like a fancy restaurant. It was small to the point of being cozy, with room for only five tables. The seating at the tables was mixed much like the disco’s had been, alternating dining chairs with adult-sized high-chairs. Again, there was no time to process the room, Sarita picked a door and kept going.

    Tears of relief sprang into Sarita’s eyes when she found her Angel. Astra was holding court in a lounge room with overstuffed red-leather couches along the walls. The middle of the floor held several adult-size playpens, where Littles were playing with toddler toys.

    Astra herself was on the largest of the couches, the center of attention for a half-dozen bigs. Sarita’s dash into the room and wobbling run toward Astra caught everyone’s attention. Like a character in a play, Astra smoothly handed her drink off to one of her friends before standing up just in time to catch Sarita.

    “Princess! What’s going on? You look upset. Were you scared that I wasn’t in the disco? I didn’t think you’d even notice, you were having so much fun dancing.”

    “Angel.” Sarita hugged Astra tightly. “There was a scary person.”

    “Oh no, Princess, it’s okay, your Angel’s here. Do you know their name? Nobody’s supposed to harass people here.”

    “I – I…” Sarita envisioned Jenevieve’s tear streaked face and found she couldn’t get the other girl in trouble. “No, I don’t know who it was. But they said things – about you. About you and – and Mimi.”

    Astra tensed up, then turned to her friends. “I need to sort my princess out. I’ll be right back.” She guided Sarita away to an empty couch. “What did you hear about Nohemi and I?”

    “That you got in a fight – and you banned her from the private events.” Sarita sniffed in pre-emptive sympathy tears for her bestie. Sarita had some fear that Astra might treat her the same way, but most of her hurt was for Mimi’s unfair treatment.

    “Princess.” Astra sighed and sat Sarita on the couch, standing over her. “I don’t know that it’s really your business, even if you are friends with Nohemi. I mean, Nohemi didn’t bring this up with you, right?”

    “She didn’t but it’s not fair! And it IS my business. I’m not just friends with her, I’m your Little too.”

    “You are my Little. You’re my Princess, and I love you. I don’t know what this unnamed person said to you, but yes, Nohemi was my Little once. She and I had a big fight, here in the Green Fairy.”

    Astra winced and crossed her arms at the memory. “I didn’t ask anyone to ban her. She got herself banned from private events all on her own. That fight almost got both of us banned. I managed to talk my way out of it. Nohemi didn’t try fixing things, as far as I know.”

    “But she – that person said, said that they were afraid you were going to ban her too.” Now that the waters around Nohemi’s unfair treatment were muddied, fear was at the forefront of Sarita’s emotions.

    All the sidelong looks people at the Munch had given when Astra’s name came up, the very careful way Nohemi talked about Astra, and Jenevieve’s distress had built a terrible monster out of Astra’s shadow. When things were good with her Angel, they were amazing. Sarita had felt an edge between them often enough to know that things could get bad. For once, I wish someone would just tell me what’s going on.

    “She said that? Who said that?” Astra frowned thunderously. “It was Jenevieve, wasn’t it?”

    “N-no. It definitely wasn’t her.” Sarita bit her lip.

    “Really? Because I didn’t think you knew her. How do you know it wasn’t Jenevieve?”

    “Because – because – it just wasn’t!”

    “Princess, you’re lying to me.” Astra’s voice was thick with disappointment.

    “I’m not I – I…” Sarita quivered in front of Astra until hot tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes. “I’m sorry! It was Jenevieve! But don’t ban her, please, Angel, she’s just sad. She was weird and creepy to me but it’s because she’s sad. I know what it’s like to be sad over a breakup. It’s not her fault.”

    “My goodness, Princess! We have got to work on our communication. I don’t even have the power to ban people, and if I did, I wouldn’t ban Jenevieve for telling you things about my past relationships.”

    Astra took Sarita’s hands and held them gently. “Someone DOES need to talk to Jenevieve about being weird and creepy. That’s not okay here, but I won’t be the person doing that, it’s not my job.”

    “Okay – okay, that’s fine I guess. It was a lot, what she said. She wanted to be my baby sister and have sex and take punishments for me and it sounded like she wanted to move in with me or something.”

    “I can see why you got so upset. I’m sorry you had to hear about Nohemi and I this way, but I don’t make a point of talking to my Littles about other Littles I’ve been with.” Astra squeezed Sarita’s hands. “Are you feeling a little better?”

    Sarita nodded gratefully. “Yes Angel.” There was still plenty to talk about, but that could wait until they left the club, or maybe even texts on another day if that’d be easier than face to face. She was genuinely relaxing until she felt Astra grip her wrists tightly.

    “Then we need to deal with your lying. It’s not okay to lie to me, ever, but especially not about something safety related like someone harassing you.” Astra took a step back, pulling Sarita to her feet.

    “I’m sorry, it was just for a minute. I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t want her to lose a place she likes going, just because she made a mistake.”

    “You say you’re sorry, but I’m going to make sure you’re REALLY sorry.” Astra’s long strides had Sarita stumbling behind her. To her horror, Sarita realized Astra was leading her back to the group of bigs on the couch.

    “I’m almost finished setting my Princess straight, but I thought you’d all enjoy seeing the resolution up close.” Astra took her central seat on the couch. As her friends shuffled away to make space, she pulled Sarita down over her lap.

    A spanking? Here? In front of people? Well if it’s over my diaper it won’t be so bad – I guess. Unsure of what to do, Sarita let Astra pull her tights down. It was a bit worrisome when Astra popped the buttons on Sarita’s crotch to expose the diaper, but she was wearing a fancy cartoon print one and didn’t mind showing it off.

    It was when Astra gripped the waistband of Sarita’s diaper that the world lurched out of balance. Sarita made a choking noise, fumbling for anything that would stop her from being bared in front of strangers. Her tongue tangled around the word no, while searching for a non-existent safeword. We don’t have a safeword yet. I could say yellow – or red – this is a red, but would she respond in time?

    Sarita’s hesitation cost her a clothed rear as Astra yanked the Little girl’s diaper down to her thighs. No! They can see everything! My coño is showing! That thought was Sarita’s last before her train of thought went entirely off its rails. Dreamlike confusion sapped her limbs of energy as Astra pulled her knees closer to hike the Little girl’s butt upward.

    “This is for lying to me, Princess. Especially about your emotional safety!” Astra’s hand came down in steady slaps, to an appreciative gasp from her audience. That gasp stalled the last objection in Sarita’s throat, turning her intended scream of “stop” into a mere whimper.

    As the slaps rained down on Sarita’s rear, she sobbed and screamed. Nothing had ever made her feel so exposed, so degraded. Standing handcuffed in front of the ruins of the Taco Truck Fire with her fly unbuttoned had been better than the spanking she was getting.

    Sarita’s rear was flooded with bright, hot pain, which refused to leave her feelings on anything as uncomplicated as bad. The dripping heat between her legs wanted more of the spanking and was learning to appreciate the gasps or shouts of encouragement from the onlookers.

    Shame, arousal, and pain twisted into a Gordian knot of emotion in Sarita’s chest. She was moaning between her cries of pain; the giggles that followed her moans were equal part humiliating and sexy. Anguish and outrage at how cavalierly Astra had stripped and spanked her in front of strangers merged with the sexy delirium of feeling like her Angel’s toy.

    Sarita never had to find out if Astra would have tried to get her off in front of people she’d never met. She was spared having to decide if she could forgive her Angel for exposing her innermost vulnerability to strangers. Instead, she disgraced herself. The conflicting, overlapping feelings grew so large that she couldn’t contain them anymore.

    A tremendous orgasmic scream bellowed out of Sarita, shocking Astra into stopping the spanking and the onlookers into silence. In the quiet that followed, her panting breath was as loud as a car engine in her ears.

    Then they applauded.

    Tears dripped freshly onto the floor below Sarita’s face to hear people clapping for her climax. It was, in a way, exciting. She’d never done something so wild before. Ineis would call her a legend for coming from a spanking scene in a club. I could even tell her about it and leave the diapers out. I’d be Plush Pony royalty.

    The only thing Sarita knew for sure was that she had no idea how she was feeling, other than that she was feeling too much. It was a heavenly mercy for Angel to pull Sarita’s diaper up over her stinging butt. Sarita clung to her Angel with confused fervor.

    Dimly, she could hear Angel telling her what a good girl she was. Sarita was a perfect Princess, a beautiful baby, and every other kind of alliterated adulation. Angel was showering her with love and cuddles, promising they’d do whatever she wanted for the rest of the night.

    There was nothing Sarita wanted, except that she wanted everything. She wanted to go home, immediately, and also to go back to the dance floor. She wanted to be tucked in for a nap in the break room or maybe in one of the little tents, if that’s what they were for. A hundred pounds of chocolate wouldn’t have been too much in that moment, as long as it came in a combo with a large pizza and a handle of Fireball.

    Communicating any of those scattered thoughts was a laughable proposition. The only thing Sarita could do was cling to her Angel and hope the praise would keep coming. When it seemed like Angel was winding down with the lovey talk, Sarita did the only thing she could manage. She pulled down the left cup of Angel’s bodice and sucked on the nipple she found there.

    Another moment of shock followed, but it was short. Applause broke out again, and with it came more praise from Angel. She sounded genuinely awed at Sarita, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. Considering what she’d been through, Sarita didn’t care if her Angel was feeling bashful or not. Her mind cleared of everything, including the horrible emotional tangle.

    I did it. I’m the perfect baby toy. My Angel loves me. Everyone loves me.

    I guess I’m famous here now too.

    I wish I’d been able to get drunk tonight.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 15

    The area outside the giant playpen seemed dim and fuzzy. Sounds from past the netting wall were garbled and indistinct. A dive into Little space had served in lieu of alcohol, offering Sarita an escape from the aftermath of her public spanking. The extra thick padding of her diaper was a boon as well, though it couldn’t completely muffle the soreness of Sarita’s bright red butt.

    Every shift of Sarita’s weight reminded her of Astra’s blistering slaps across her rear. Any way she sat, the stinging impressed on Sarita that she was a bad baby. Humiliating as that label was, it was better than the alternative. Focusing on being a naughty Little kept Sarita from reliving the moment she’d howled in shameless ecstasy, her sex dripping for the entertainment of strangers.

    There was quite a bit of real-estate inside the playpen, which was further extended by Sarita limiting her movement to crawling. There was no rule she was aware of against walking in the playpen, but everyone else was crawling. Bad baby though she was, the last thing Sarita wanted to do at the moment was stand out.

    The first playmates she found were a pair of diaper girls in matching teddy-bear pajamas. Rather than mere teddy-bear print, the pajamas were fuzzy with adorable bear ears on the hoods. The two girls were welcoming enough, but Sarita could recognize a couple when she saw one, even in Little space. After a brief greeting, Sarita left Zoe to snuggle with her French girlfriend.

    A new arrival climbed over the netting in Sarita’s path. She sat back on her diaper to say hello and let her mouth hang open when she recognized the girl in the blue onesie. Pauline’s diaper was plain in comparison to the other Littles’ padding, Sarita included. She didn’t have much in the way of a Little outfit besides her onesie and diaper, though she did have her hair in pigtails.

    Pauline looked similarly shocked to see Sarita, drawing back a bit. Oh no you don’t! Sarita pounced her friend, nuzzling Pauline’s cheek after pinning her to the padding.

    “Um – hi Sarita. Are you here with Astra?” Pauline put her hands nervously on Sarita’s sides.

    Sarita shrugged and kissed Pauline. “Maybe. Doesn’t matter. I’m a bad baby. I do what I want.”

    Pauline barked out a forced laugh, shaking her head at the Little girl above her. “You’re nuts, like always. Astra’s definitely here, and you’re obviously with her.”

    “She’s doing stupid big stuff.” Sarita whined. “Play with me? I like you. We’re still friends, right? I’m sorry I cancelled our date.”

    With a big sigh, Pauline raised her head to bonk against Sarita’s. “I’m sorry I avoided you after you did. I thought – you were breaking up with me.”

    “I was broke.” Sarita bit her lip. “I’m sorry, I was embarrassed.”

    “Oh. You should have said something, dummy. We could have made a struggle-meal.”

    “I told you!” Sarita rolled her eyes impatiently, “I was embarrassed.”

    “How come you aren’t embarrassed now?”

    “Duh. Bad baby.” Sarita cackled.

    “Dumbass.” Pauline grinned and grabbed Sarita’s crotch, giving the padding a firm squeeze. “You don’t seem like such a bad baby to me, in a dry diaper.”

    “That’s cause I was waiting to pee on you.” Sarita grinned devilishly and planted her diapered crotch firmly on Pauline’s hips.

    “H-here? In front of everyone?” Pauline’s lip was trembling, but her face was flushed and her pupils were blown out far more than the dim club lighting could explain.

    “Uh huh. That’s what babies do here.” Public stuff is normal here. Everybody does it. Sarita had only to squeeze a bit before her diaper flooded. There was a lot to let loose, she kept going and going. Pauline’s uncomfortable blush became surprise, which itself gave way to horny awe as Sarita’s accident went on and on.

    “How much did you drink tonight?” Pauline pressed her hips into Sarita’s sagging padding.

    “I had a juice box and a bottle, and more stuff before we came here.” Sarita giggled and poked at her padding.

    “That’s a lot.” Pauline licked her lips. “So um, what do we…”

    “You potty now!” Sarita pinned Pauline’s arms anew and kissed the other girl, sliding her tongue possessively into Pauline’s mouth.

    A long moan preceded Pauline reluctantly squirming out from under Sarita. “Go easy with the kisses and – everything. People are already looking. We’re putting on a show.”

    “There’s nothing wrong with putting on a show.” Sarita felt fragile as the words left her, she crawled aggressively toward Pauline to prove her point. The other girl backed up to the netting. Pauline was determined to be an annoying fraidy-cat about the whole thing.

    “Sarita, slow down. You’re acting wild. Are you sure you’re okay? Did you drink a spiked juice-box?”

    “There are spiked ones?!” Sarita gleefully straddled Pauline’s thighs. “I know what we should do. You should eat me. Pull off my diaper and lick my kitty – without cleaning me up.”

    Pauline turned a cartoonish shade of red, panting like she was going to hyperventilate. The moan she made when Sarita licked her neck was obscene, a truly guttural moan of desire. “Stop. Sarita, please, stop, please.”

    The tear trickling down Pauline’s cheek shocked Sarita out of her aggression and right off her friend’s lap. Horrified, she whimpered, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

    “It’s okay. Really. Thank you for stopping.” Pauline still looked shell shocked, her legs were trembling.

    “I just wanted to play. I need somebody to play with me or – or – I’ll be big again. But you don’t like baby games. You like sexy games and potty games.”

    “That’s – not wrong. Fuck, Sarita, that was the most erotic thing anyone ever said to me. I think I came a little when you licked my neck.”

    “So we can play?”

    “Not like that – not here.” Pauline tumbled forward and knocked Sarita on her back, snugging up to the Little girl’s side. “I can do baby games. It’s not my first pick, but they’d be fun with you.”

    “You have to potty first,” Sarita demanded in a fussy tone.

    “Okay, okay!” Pauline laughed and wrapped her legs around Sarita’s thigh. A few moments later, Sarita was treated to the warm sensation of Pauline’s diaper expanding against her leg.

    “You really liked the thing I said?” Sarita nuzzled her nose against Pauline’s neck.

    “I’m still in heat from it,” Pauline complained.

    “Do you still want to play – or go on dates – or whatever?”

    “Yes, but I get scared. Astra’s so great – I can’t compete with her.”

    “You never spanked me in front of everybody.”

    “Huh?”

    “I like you for stuff that’s you. That nobody else has.”

    Pauline shuddered and wiped her eyes. “Let’s go on some cheap dates then.”

    “Yay! Play now?” The question came out a bit more frantic than Sarita had intended. She could feel her Littleness slipping away from her. She had nothing but uncomfortable, complicated feelings to replace it.

    “Yes, you brat.” Pauline giggled.

    “I told you I was a bad baby.” Sarita disentangled herself from Pauline and grabbed some toys she’d seen Littles playing with earlier. “Here, they have Velcro bean-bags and mittens.”

    It was a bit of a struggle to get both pairs of stiff mittens on, the girls ended up using their teeth to cinch the wrist straps on the last one. From the first attempt at a throw, the toys were hilariously clumsy. Sarita’s attempt left the spiky beanbag stuck to her mitten. Pauline managed to fling her bag, but it flew off to the side. Giggling, the girls tried again.

    After half a dozen throws, they could consistently get a beanbag flying in the direction of the other girl, more or less. Catching them was easy if the mitten actually touched the bag, but they flew in such a random, lopsided way that Sarita and Pauline ended their wild dives empty handed most of the time.

    Sarita giggled until her tummy hurt. Pauline had tears streaming down her cheeks from how hard she was laughing. Then she’d snort, and both of them would collapse on the padding, laid low by their laughter. Being deftly tickled during one of her collapses made Sarita shriek. She rolled away from the hand and bounced happily when she saw who it had been.

    “Angel! Did you see me playing?”

    “I did. You look like you’re having a great time.” Astra stepped into the playpen and sat atop the netted wall. “Who’s your Little friend – oh, Pauline.”

    “H-hi Astra.” Pauline looked caught out, staring nervously at Astra. That was dumb. Everybody should play together, and keep the happy feelings going forever. Sarita grabbed Pauline’s wrist and crawl-dragged her friend toward Astra.

    “Angel, I pottied a lot. Pauline’s wet too. Can you change us both?” Sarita cast a brief look at Pauline, who was still nervous. Before she could absorb her friend’s nervousness, Sarita plowed ahead. “After you change us we could make out for you. That’s a thing you like, right?”

    Pauline made a sort of strangled noise. Sarita didn’t dare look. If her friend was upset, she was going to start crying. It didn’t make sense, but the Little vibes had started running out fast when Astra had arrived.

    “I’m not sure your friend is ready for that, is that something you’d want, Pauline?”

    “N-not tonight.” Pauline shrank away from Sarita, twisting her wrist out of Sarita’s hand.

    “And that’s just fine, isn’t it Princess?” Astra’s tone was firm, sending quakes of fear through Sarita’s belly.

    “Yes Angel.” Sarita huddled down submissively in front of Astra.

    “You’re very pretty in baby clothes, Pauline. I never see you in them, just diapers usually. Are you trying a new look?”

    “Well, there was a discount for coming in a onesie tonight and – I do baby stuff sometimes.”

    “I’m surprised we’ve never played together, as long as we’ve both been in the scene.” Astra stroked Pauline’s cheek gently. Pauline shuddered – Sarita couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad reaction.

    “Angel, my diaper is leaking.” Sarita pawed at Astra’s leg with the fuzzy mittens.

    “I think that’s my cue to take care of my baby girl. I hope I see you in more baby outfits Pauline. They look good on you.” Astra smiled as Pauline blushed and nodded, then tapped Sarita on the shoulder. “Say goodbye to your Little friend.”

    “We’re leaving?!” Sarita’s question came out incredulously, but she was surprised at how good the idea sounded.

    “Not yet, but I’m all done schmoozing. I want some time with my Princess. That’s what we came here for, right?”

    “Can we dance together?” Sarita pleaded.

    “Anything for my Princess. Anything at all.” Astra helped Sarita to her feet and out of her mittens. “Wave to Pauline.”

    Sarita waved, feeling her worries return at Pauline’s sad expression. The worries didn’t vanish when Pauline was out of sight either, they multiplied. Visions of being changed on a table in front of a roaring crowd hammered Sarita’s head. “And now for the main event!” Sarita imagined Astra declaiming, “My princess will poop while you watch!”

    Anxiety built until the growls in Sarita’s gut made a messy diaper a very real possibility. She felt nauseous and leaned on Astra for support.

    “We’re almost there, Princess. All we need is an empty tent.” Astra wrapped her arm around Sarita’s waist and helped her into the room with the little tents.

    They’re private changing areas. Relief hit Sarita like a drug, buckling her legs. She was wetting herself again, with her diaper sagging grotesquely between her legs. Most people in the changing room were acting shy, and none seemed to notice Sarita’s latest accident.

    The tent was blessedly dark and quiet. Sarita spread herself out like a starfish at Astra’s command and let her mind drift away. Unpleasant sensations from her wet diaper went away, to be replaced by soothing wipes and lotion. Powder and padding had Sarita in a stupor, and best of all, feeling Little again.

    She was a bouncy girl on her way out of the tent, skipping along with her Angel to the dance floor. They danced until Sarita’s diaper was soggy with sweat and her Angel was gasping for breath. Hot chocolate sealed the deal, especially when Sarita got a second cup to take with her to the car.

    At home, Astra put Sarita to bed with a pacifier in her mouth. The Little girl dimly remembered Astra telling her that she’d filled Nero’s food and water bowls, plus a lot of other household chores. Shortly after, Sarita was out.

    —–

    Waking up completely babied-out without Astra around was weird. What was even more strange was that Sarita kept finding tears on her cheeks throughout the day. She didn’t know what she had to cry about. Her girlfriend had saved her from having her power cut, plus Sarita had had the most powerful orgasm of her life, and gone dancing afterwards.

    The stuff with Jenevieve was weird I guess. Things were awkward with Pauline too. Sarita mused as she wiped tears off her cheeks for the tenth time. I can avoid the first one, and Pauline and I will be fine after we go on another date.

    Imagining a date with Pauline reminded Sarita that she’d pushed off her dinner with Nohemi. In full view of Britt, while she was on the floor working, Sarita pulled out her phone and texted Mimi an apology and asked to reschedule.

    As she put her phone away, she met Britt’s shocked expression. The terror and guilt that Sarita knew she should feel wouldn’t come. Instead, she shrugged numbly and returned Britt’s stare. To her amazement, Britt turned away and stalked back to her office, refusing to come out for the rest of the night. Anna and Sarita celebrated Britt’s disappearance by locking GrrlPower up three minutes early.

    Settling down with her kitty at home, Sarita marveled at how much her phone was blowing up lately. She had texts from Oriana, Nohemi, Pauline, and of course Astra. Most of the texts were from Astra, some of them flirty, but most of them intensely maternal.

    Even when Mamá was alive, she didn’t manage me this much. With a shrug, Sarita reported back to her Angel about her day and her plans. When Astra got wind that Sarita was going to have Nohemi over for dinner, she offered to come over beforehand and help Sarita prep.

    Trying to politely refuse Astra’s offer revealed that it wasn’t an offer at all. Three texts full of “Little Girl” and “Princess” later, Astra had Sarita agreeing that she needed her Angel to help her get ready for her friend-date.

    The next afternoon, Sarita’s apartment was spotless by her standards. Constant chore-reminders from Astra, plus the head start her Angel had given her on cleaning, had Sarita on top of her mess and her clutter. When Astra arrived, she was a whirlwind.

    Rambling something about having a networking dinner to get to, Astra swept through the apartment, until everything but Nero had felt her influence. In less than an hour, Sarita’s bathroom was clean enough to eat off of, there was a beautiful risotto finishing on the stove, and Sarita had a pullup on under her short-shorts.

    Sarita looked at the formal table setting on her curbside-rescue of a card table in wonder. Astra had provided the tablecloth and showed Sarita how to “properly” arrange her plates and silverware. It looked fancy. Too fancy to be me.

    Nervously, Sarita hopped off the couch when Nohemi knocked. Nero did his usual Mimi pandering, nearly climbing her leg in a shameless display. She laughed and good naturedly shook the little black nuisance off her leg. Arms still full of groceries, Nohemi wrapped her arms around Sarita.

    “It’s good to see you, girl! How are you holding up?”

    “I missed you! I’m good.”

    “The place looks great – wow. I see – you’ve – still got – lights?” Nohemi trailed off as she took in the immaculately set table and the risotto on the stove.

    “Oh uh – Astra came over a little while ago to help me set up. I told her she didn’t need to, but she insisted!” Sarita giggled, and hoped it didn’t sound as hysterical to Nohemi as it did to her. “Uh, she paid my power bill too, so I was able to get some groceries to help out with the meal.”

    “She paid your bill?” Nohemi set the grocery bags down with a thunk. “Wow, that’s generous. I can tell she helped set up. It uh – has her touch.”

    Sarita wrung her hands. Things were spiraling out of control. The room felt like it was sliding off-kilter. “I don’t think what we were going to make will go with risotto but uh, I can just put it in the fridge for later. This is supposed to be our meal, right?”

    “It was, yeah.” Nohemi sighed. “Sarita, are you really okay with all this?”

    “Wh-what do you mean? I had to take Astra’s offer. I mean – I was close to being short on rent without it.”

    “It’s more than that though. You don’t think it’s weird that she took over our evening without actually being here?”

    The terrible rumbles from the club attacked Sarita’s gut again. She folded her arms over her belly and tried to calm her pounding heart. “I said she didn’t have to.”

    “But she did anyway. Sarita, mija, I’m worried about you, that’s all.” Nohemi didn’t look worried, she looked upset. Her face was angry, or sad, or both.

    It was all going wrong. Sarita should have started off with complimenting Nohemi’s cool blue wrap dress. Not that Nohemi had said anything about Sarita’s cute blouse or shorts. Shorts with a pullup under them, because of Astra.

    “Are you mad at me?” The discomfort and terror in Sarita’s belly combined in an emotional alchemy that turned them into an angry blaze. It’s not fair for her to be mad at me! I didn’t choose to be poor! I couldn’t stop Astra from doing stuff. She was Little for Astra, she knows what it’s like!

    “It’d be a lie if I said I wasn’t upset, but it’s not really with you. Walking in on the apartment like this – was kind of rough.”

    “It was rough to come to a clean apartment with a nice table?! Why, because it’s not as easy to look down on the poverty case if my place looks good!?”

    “What the fuck?!” Nohemi took a couple steps back from Sarita. “Where did that come from?”

    “What was between you and Astra? What was the fight that got you kicked out of private events at the Fairy?”

    Nohemi blinked, then blinked again and wiped her eyes. “That doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on tonight. Sarita, why are you screaming at me?”

    “Because you’re lying to me! Everyone is lying to me!”

    “I’m not lying about anything! Just because I don’t share every detail of my past before its relevant…”

    “You’ve been dancing around saying stuff about Astra since the night we met!” Sarita’s belly was blazing with rage that had consumed her fear. The only thing she could feel was the righteous flame inside of her. That fire made Sarita sure that Nohemi was an unbelievable bitch for hiding things. “Well now’s your chance! Let it all out!”

    “She takes people over!” Nohemi shouted, tears running down her flushed cheeks. “Astra makes people into little dolls to show off to her friends. She tried to do it to me and she’s doing it to you!”

    “You’re jealous!” Sarita screamed through a sob. “We’re in love! She helps me so much, takes care of me. Plus at the club two nights ago – I  – we…”

    Nohemi put her hand to her mouth. “Sarita, what happened at the club? What happened to make you this on edge?”

    “We danced and she spanked me, and I came harder than I ever have in my life! It was amazing and I’m going to do it again next time even more!”

    “Did she push you to do something you didn’t want to do?” Nohemi’s eyes were full of hurt, but she still reached out to Sarita. The gesture infuriated Sarita. How dare she pity me? She has no right to judge me!

    “I liked everything she did. It was hot, and my Angel was proud of me. Maybe next time – I’ll have her change me in front of everyone.”

    “If that’s what you really want, that’s fine. Sarita, can’t you see how messed up you are over this?”

    “You’re the one who’s messed up. You wanted to fuck me the night we met, so you’ve been trying to poison what I have with my Angel ever since!” As soon as she said it, Sarita knew it was a lie, and wrong to boot. She was too angry to apologize, or even deal with the fact that Nohemi had never tried to date her.

    Nohemi gave a breathy, open-mouthed gasp like she’d been punched in the gut. She was two steps back and had her hand on the door before she seemed to know what she was doing. Slowly, Nohemi looked at the doorknob in her hand, then back at Sarita.

    “I have to go. Enjoy the risotto.”

    “I will.” Sarita shot back venomously. The hateful blaze inside her carried her across the room to slam the door behind Nohemi.

    Sarita slumped to the floor as her fire flared out and became gut-wrenching guilty ash. Stoking what few embers remained felt good, reminded her that she’d been in the right. Nohemi had overstepped, had been a terrible, unfair friend.

    She’s probably not a friend anymore. Sarita bit her lip at the thought, then bit harder, until she saw stars and her lip was swollen and throbbing. It was always possible she could patch things up. If not, she still had her Angel, and Pauline.

    “At least I’ll always have you, right Nero?” Sarita reached for the little black cat, who was busy sniffing the bags Nohemi had dropped. Out of nowhere, he snarled and lashed out with a paw. Sarita drew her hand back, gasping at the bright red line that popped out across the back of it.

    “FINE!” She shouted at the cat, sending him scampering off. With her temper boiling again, Sarita stomped to the stove and dug a big spoonful of risotto out of the pan with the mixing spoon. It burned her tongue, but went down warm.

    Grabbing her phone, Sarita retreated to her bedroom and drew all the blinds. She closed the door and huddled under the covers with her phone, keeping it plugged in so she could watch video after video. It didn’t matter what social media or streaming site, as long as she could keep watching.

    Any distraction was worth keeping at bay the sharp shadows outside the blankets. Desperation had her doom-scrolling until she passed out on her phone. It was a victory against doubt and despair. She’d fought a fighting retreat against admitting how much was broken, and how many of those things had been destroyed by her hands.

    Tomorrow was future Sarita’s problem. The Sarita of now had the internet plugged directly into her amygdala, and she couldn’t be happier.

    She couldn’t be happier at all.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 16

    Three days of guilt were too much. For three days Sarita had wallowed in every distraction she could use to keep from thinking about her fight with Nohemi. She’d been a robot at work, and Britt hadn’t cared. Sarita found her manager’s behavior odd, but didn’t bother investigating it.

    The only thing that mattered was fixing the hole in her heart, so Sarita was knocking on the door that held the solution to her problem. Impatiently waiting in the hallway as the light turned gold in the windows, Sarita knocked again.

    Astra opened the door after the second round of knocking, looking at Sarita in surprise. “Princess! Come in. You look terrible, what’s wrong?”

    “I’m a bad baby.” Sarita whimpered, lurching into her Angel for a hug.

    “You’re a little naughty sometimes, but you’re my precious Princess. What’s going on?”

    “I had a fight with Mimi. I said awful things to her.”

    “Oh, sweetheart. I know you two are close.” Astra squeezed Sarita tightly. “Did this just happen tonight?”

    “No, it was a few days ago.” Sarita sniffled. “I don’t know how to apologize, I can’t do it. Plus, she should apologize too!”

    “Did she say nasty things to you too?”

    “Unfair stuff.”

    “Sweetie, you’re so upset, it breaks my heart. But you came to the right place. You came to your Angel. I’ll take care of everything.”

    “Yes please. Please Angel, make it better.”

    “You know you have to get a punishment for being mean to your friend, right Princess?”

    Sarita nodded emphatically. This is what I came for, she realized. If she was Angel’s baby girl, if she could get punishment for being bad, then everything would be over and fixed. It’d be like going to confession, but without the creepy vibes.

    Astra took Sarita’s bag and coat before leading her to the bathroom. Sarita winced to see her Angel lathering up a bar of soap, but obediently opened her mouth all the same. The taste was worse than she remembered from being a kid, especially when Astra pushed Sarita’s mouth closed until her teeth bit into the bar. As the awful burning chemical taste spread across her tongue, Sarita wept.

    The tears that poured down Sarita’s cheeks drew the poisonous guilt out of her and handed it to Astra. Babies don’t have to fix things, they’re not responsible. Horrible though the soap in her mouth was, it didn’t feel like enough. Sarita watched the egg-timer Astra had put on the bathroom counter and tried squeezing her bladder.

    Nothing happened. So much for my diaper training. Sarita snorted, regretting it instantly as a bit of soap went down her throat, making her gag. It occurred to her that the phrase “diaper training” might contain a solution. She bunched her jeans up around her waist until they felt bulky and awkward. A few moments of pretending to be diapered had her pants soaked.

    The timer went off and Astra returned to the bathroom from whatever she’d been prepping. She stared at Sarita, wide eyed, until the timer beeped a second time. “Baby girl! You know you’re not supposed to potty in your pants. Do you realize this means that you’re going to lose all your privileges?”

    Sarita nodded tearfully. Perfect. No privileges meant no decisions. Even as she gagged over the sink, while Astra rinsed her mouth out, she was feeling better. For having an “accident”, Astra stripped Sarita and hosed her down with the shower attachment. Standing spread-legged in the tub while cold water shot up into her privates brought more tears, but also absolution.

    Punishments gave way to comfort when Sarita’s Angel wrapped her in a warm towel and put her on a changing blanket in the bedroom. Between rounds of lotion, powder, and padding, Astra caressed Sarita’s body. All the while she was diapering Sarita, Angel told Sarita to be a good baby. The litany those commands made had Sarita in a comfortable foggy headspace. Most importantly, concerns about anyone but her Angel were far away.

    After the diaper came footie pajamas with a hood. Sarita luxuriated in the softness of the pajama’s microfibers so much, that she hardly noticed when her Angel put mittens on her. They were more like hand-bags, in truth. A single cloth container reduced her hands to paddles and secured with a Velcro strap at the wrist.

    “You’ve lost your potty privileges, and I’m not going to let you talk much, because you’ve been bad with both those things.” Astra snuggled up to Sarita on the bed. “That means no asking for a change. I’ll check your diapers and change you when you need it.”

    “Okay.” Sarita nuzzled Astra, her eyes half-lidded.

    “If you’re a good baby you can have treats tomorrow, but until then, you’re on baby foods. The last thing I need from you before I baby you completely is to ask about Nero and your work schedule.”

    “Nero has food and water, but he needs to see somebody at least once a day. Unless my schedule changes, I have three days off.”

    “What’s your phone password?” Astra asked, snagging Sarita’s phone from the bedside table. “If your manager texts you, I’ll tell her you’re too sick to talk and that I’m taking care of you.”

    “It’s soltera, no upper case or symbols or anything.”

    Astra unlocked the phone and touched a couple of buttons. Sarita couldn’t see what her Angel was snooping through and didn’t much care. She took the time to wiggle her butt and test the fit of her diaper. It fits perfect – just like my Angel.

    “Got it. Time to be my pretty potty Princess.” Astra smiled and popped a pacifier in Sarita’s mouth, clipping the ribbon to Sarita’s pajamas. In an unbothered, baby-daze, Sarita crawled behind her Angel to the living room couch. Laying her head in her Angel’s lap, Sarita curled up cutely. Her reward was a radiant smile from Astra and getting her hair pet. Spending a few days of being cute in exchange for affection was going to be amazing.

    “I wish I could keep you like this all the time. Tomorrow we’ll go over to your apartment and you can be my baby there, so Nero doesn’t get lonely. It’d be so much easier if we lived together, though. What do you think about that, Princess?”

    I think it’s too fast to get out the U-Haul – but half my clothes are the lesbian uniform, so who am I to judge? The safest response seemed to be a shrug, happily, Astra’s smile didn’t waver.

    “Not sure yet? That’s okay. It’s the first time we’re talking about it. I love you so much, and I’m excited to do things I’ve never gotten to do with a baby girl before. We could clean out the spare room and put a cute little crib in there for you. I know you hate your job. My salary and bonuses are more than enough for both of us.”

    Astra gazed dreamily into the distance, absently stroking Sarita’s back. “You don’t know how much I’d love to come home at lunch to give my baby girl kisses, feed her lunch, and change her. I’m sure I could arrange playdates or babysitters for some days too, so you wouldn’t be lonely.”

    That is equal parts amazing and terrifying. A dreadful knot twisted its way through Sarita’s gut. Would she like to never set foot in GrrlPower again? Of course. Being totally dependent on Astra financially would be scary enough if they were married. And no one is talking about marriage. Not even Astra, even though she’s all about the L word now. I’m not ready to marry her for sure.

    Sarita’s spiraling thoughts ground to a halt when she realized Astra was looking at her expectantly. Whatever words her Angel had said in the last couple of minutes had not made their way to Sarita’s brain. I really hope she didn’t propose right there. That would make this awkward.

    Having a pacifier in her mouth gave Sarita the option of simply staring at Astra adoringly, while she sucked cutely on the nipple. Astra took Sarita’s head in her hands and kissed her forehead tenderly. It worked! Desperately, Sarita hoped they were at the end of intense future-planning conversations. I’m trying to get my baby-on, over here!

    Teasing fingers popped the buttons along Sarita’s pajama front. Astra’s hand slipped under the fabric and lightly traced under Sarita’s breasts. She arched her back, moaning when Astra’s hands found and caressed the softness of her chest. Before the sexy caresses had properly begun, Astra buttoned Sarita’s front up. The only response to Sarita’s whines was a pat on the cheek and a hug.

    If Astra was trying to make Sarita extra cuddly by turning her on, her plan was a resounding success. Finally free of relationship angst and overwhelming future plans, Sarita felt herself slip deep into Littlespace. She was so happy to be a squirmy, snuggly baby that she didn’t notice anything else. It took a bit of sag in her diaper to realize that she’d been wetting as soon as she needed to go without thinking about it.

    Asking for a change was against the rules, but Sarita decided that wasn’t the same thing as pointing out that her diaper was wet. Muddled whines from behind her pacifier and pawing at her crotch got Astra’s attention. As with everything else that evening, Astra diaper-checked Sarita in a way that made her feel as helpless as possible.

    Instead merely getting a few fingers inside her diaper, Sarita found herself laid on her back with her feet pulled up in the air. Astra unsnapped Sarita’s pajamas along the crotch and down her thighs, exposing her sagging padding. As Sarita blushed, Astra squished the padding against the Little girl’s crotch until cool liquid seeped out against her sex.

    “This diaper can hold plenty more. It’s not unusual for a baby girl like you to be in a wet diaper. You need to learn to be wet for a while and not get changed right away.” Astra grinned, squishing the diaper more rhythmically against Sarita’s crotch, while she used her free hand to stroke Sarita’s belly. “That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, though.”

    In no time, Sarita was working her hips against Astra’s hand in time with her Angel’s squeezes. Astra’s hand roaming over her body had Sarita in a fine lather. Maddeningly, Astra left her squirmy baby on the couch to go to the kitchen. Sarita followed on her hands and knees, nuzzling Astra’s legs in a fine imitation of Nero.

    A warm bottle of milk would ordinarily be a hard sell, but in that moment it represented more attention from her Angel. Sarita slurped greedily at the bottle while Astra petted her breasts. With Sarita overheating in her pajamas, Astra stripped her baby girl down and sat her at the table. Baby-food might as well have been carne asada, since every spoonful Astra fed Sarita came with a caress.

    Getting a diaper change would mean being touched under her diaper, so a full bladder was Sarita’s enemy. She wet every time she could, even trying to wet when she couldn’t feel anything at all. As her diaper filled, her Angel had more and more praise for her, though Sarita’s only reward was more edging.

    As the city was going to sleep, after Sarita had polished off a third bottle, her diaper was well and truly wrecked. Despite that, Sarita got her teeth brushed and her face washed before Astra put her on the changing blanket. At least, her diaper came off with a sensation of pure bliss. Her pacifier ceased to matter, Sarita’s vocalizations had been reduced to horny whimpers.

    Each swipe of the wipes sent Sarita trembling. The silken touch of lotion on her skin had her drooling. It was at the lotion stage that Sarita’s diaper change ground to a halt, with Astra’s slick hand rubbing mind-bending circles on the Little girl’s sex.

    Presented with Astra’s bare breast, Sarita sucked eagerly on her Angel’s nipple. The stuff Astra was using on her nipples was cloyingly sweet, it took Sarita a few minutes to realize she was licking condensed milk off her Angel. Odd as that was, it had the advantage of not being as runny, letting Sarita concentrate more on the main event.

    They fell into a rhythm of Astra dribbling syrupy milk onto her breasts for Sarita’s diligent tongue, while Astra petted Sarita between her legs. Angel was already moaning, unrestrained in her lust. The hotness of hearing Astra lose control had Sarita on fire. She had to desperately lick her Angel into two orgasms before the focus switched to Sarita.

    Nearly in tears from the hot, pulsating heat all over her body, Sarita spasmed as soon as Astra touched her button. That was the beginning of a world where the only things in existence were her soaking kitty and Astra’s glorious fingers. Sarita thrashed and screamed her way into a sweaty mess, until her throat and pussy were both sore.

    In the trembling denouement  that followed, Astra’s bedside light was far too loud. Infinitely tender touches sponged Sarita clean and dried her off. Swaddled in a diaper and her Angel’s arms, Sarita was out like a light.

    —–

    Two more days of taking a break from – well – everything had Sarita at peace. She thought she’d be refreshed, but there was dread in her heart when Astra put her in a final diaper and patted her on the cheek.

    “Everything is squeaky clean in your apartment, Nero is all set up, and you’ve got some diapers and pullups in case you want to wear them in the next couple of days. There’s leftovers in the fridge so you won’t have to cook. How’s my Princess?”

    “I don’t want you to go.” Sarita eyes darted over her pristine apartment. Far from being relaxing, it looked to her like a lot of beautiful clean spaces that she’d never be able to maintain on her own.

    “Oh sweetheart, I don’t want to go either, but work won’t wait.” Astra pulled Sarita in for a tender kiss. “Think about that crib. It’s a real offer. I know big commitments are scary, if I’m being honest, it makes me a little nervous too. I think we can make it work.”

    “I love you!” Sarita grabbed Astra, searching for anything she could say or do that would keep her Angel around. All she was able to wring out of Astra was a tearful kiss and an “I love you too.”

    Then Astra was gone, leaving behind a mountain of responsibilities and consequences that teetered over Sarita, ready for an avalanche. Flipping through her phone, she glared sourly at Nohemi’s conversation. Mimi hadn’t sent any texts. I didn’t either – and I yelled first.

    That kind of thinking lead to bad, uncomfortable places. Sarita skipped the texts and went straight to calling Pauline. “Hi Pauline! I have the day off tomorrow and I was thinking about you.”

    “H-hi Sarita. I was thinking about you too.” Pauline’s tone had dipped concerningly when she answered but recovered fast. Sarita hoped it was just surprise at being called instead of texted. Or how strong I came on. Doesn’t matter, I just need to get her here.

    “I’m wearing a diaper. You should put one on and come over.”

    “Oh – yeah?” Pauline giggled nervously. “What’ll happen if I do?”

    “We’ll get wet, in a couple of ways.”

    “I uh – Sarita, is this only a booty call?”

    “No! I miss you. I was hoping you’d stay over – with or without doing – stuff.”

    “Stuff huh?”

    “I want you – I want to make love to you. But I want to hang out and cuddle with you even more.”

    A sigh of relief came over the phone. “I want that too. I’ll be right over.”

    “Love you.” Sarita hung up before Pauline could answer, nearly dropping her phone out of her trembling hand. Why did I say that? It’s okay, people say that by accident at the end of calls sometimes. If she’s freaked out – it was an accident.

    Pauline didn’t seem freaked out when she arrived. She dove enthusiastically into Sarita’s greeting by way of a kiss and a butt-grab. Sarita would have carried that energy straight to the bedroom, but Pauline was keeping her hands still and cutting the kisses short. Reluctantly, Sarita disengaged and smiled at her – friend.

    “Thanks for coming over.”

    “Thanks for inviting me. Your place looks spotless. Was there a wild Astra here?”

    The question sucked the wind out of Sarita. She couldn’t handle another fight like the one she’d had with Mimi, couldn’t afford to lose another friend. Desperate justifications tumbled from her lips before her brain could parse them.

    “It’s not my fault – she just does stuff – you know how she is – it’s nice to have it clean anyway – please, I don’t want this to come between us…”

    “Sarita! Take a breath hon.” Pauline gently bonked her forehead against Sarita’s. “It’s okay, I get it. I’ve been railroaded by a girlfriend before. It’s annoying, but kind of hot, right?”

    “It is.” Sarita sighed and pulled Pauline into her arms. “If Astra is my girlfriend, you are too.”

    “Y-yeah?”

    “If you want to be.”

    “What happens now? Do you want like, a thruple or something?”

    That would fix everything. I could have Pauline and my Angel. Astra could get her sexy babygirls. Everyone would be happy – except Pauline. That question didn’t come out happy at all.

    “I don’t know. Probably not? I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to hurt anyone. It – it hasn’t been that long dating either of you and – and…”

    “I get it.” Pauline tucked her head into the crook of Sarita’s neck. “I like being your girlfriend.”

    The L word Sarita had let slip on the phone was stuck between them like a briar. She held Pauline tightly, trying to squish that bit of discomfort out of existence. They migrated to the couch, lying next to each other entwined.

    “Sarita – I brought stuff to stay over. I want to be with you tonight.”

    “I love you.” The words came out so easily, so naturally that Sarita couldn’t make herself want to take them back. It’s true. I don’t know why, but it’s true. Something about the sentimental way Pauline looked at her soothed Sarita’s anxiety in a way that only the deepest Littlespace had been able to manage.

    “You don’t have to…”

    “I mean it.”

    Pauline burst into tears, clinging to Sarita with every ounce of her strength. “You confusing bitch. I hate you.”

    “I’m a mess, I’m sorry.”

    “Don’t be sorry, stupid, I love you too.”

    “Really?”

    “Really?” Pauline mocked, laughing as she rolled on top of Sarita. “You just said it to me twice, and you’re all surprised I love you?”

    “I’m a disaster and you’re…”

    Nero leapt deftly from the coffee table and landed on Pauline’s back. Both girls froze, Sarita staring incredulously at her kitty. “Nero! What are you doing? You get down right now!”

    As if he hadn’t heard a word, Nero sat down and set to washing his right paw. Pauline made a sort of smirking snort, which sent Sarita into a giggle. They quaked with helpless laughter, Pauline letting out a cackle when Sarita snorted. Pauline’s heaving back accomplished what Sarita’s words had failed to do, sending Nero bounding away in irritation.

    Hand in hand, they walked to the kitchen by unspoken agreements. Healthy leftovers lost instantly to chips and dip. They stole little glances at each other as they munched, hovering over the bowl hip to hip.

    “What do you love about me?” Pauline asked.

    “You made me feel special at the munch – and then we had fun together. I feel like we’re figuring out this kink stuff together. You’re so sweet, it breaks my heart sometimes.”

    “Uh – that was a lot. I thought you’d just say my hair or my boobs or something.” Pauline blushed, tucking hair behind her ears. Sarita caught her girlfriend’s hand and kissed it.

    “Tell me what you love about me.”

    “You’re fearless, or brave, but either way you dive into stuff in ways I can’t. I always laugh when I’m with you. You don’t always do things right, but I can tell you’re trying hard. I see how big your heart is.”

    Sarita blinked quickly to clear her suddenly blurry vision. She mumbled, “You missed your chance to say, Dat Ass. It would have been hilarious.”

    “Hey.” Pauline tilted Sarita’s chin up and kissed her. It tingled like a first kiss and lifted Sarita onto her toes.

    “Wow.” A deep flush blossomed in Sarita’s cheeks.

    “That was a real girlfriend kiss.”

    “That was a love kiss.”

    “Like I said.”

    Sarita pressed herself gently against Pauline, breathing in the soft scent of her girlfriend’s skin. Underneath the floral deodorant and sea-salt soap was a smell that simply said “happy” in Sarita’s brain. “Now who’s confusing?”

    “I hope it’s me. Confusing is a step up from where I was before.” Pauline smiled wryly at Sarita’s sigh and bonked their foreheads together. “I’m sorry to keep harping on it but – knowing I’m sharing your heart with Astra makes moments like this hard.”

    “I know. It’s hard for me too.” Do I love them both? My Angel is – a lot of stuff to me. She’s not just a safety net, right? There was no answer for Sarita in her heart. Astra’s rescue had been so thorough, that she couldn’t prise that feeling of relief away from how she felt about the woman. “You don’t have to stay tonight, if it’s too hard.”

    “Oh no you don’t. I want that wet butt of yours in bed with me tonight.” Pauline grinned and grabbed a pair of belt loops on Sarita’s pants.

    “My butt isn’t wet!”

    “Why not? It should be.” Pauline swung around, pinning Sarita against the kitchen counter. “Wet your pants for me.”

    “What’s all this? Since when are you all dominant?”

    “Since you let your guard down I guess. Or maybe I feel more confident because I know better where we stand.” Pauline kissed Sarita suddenly, driving a little gasping moan out of her. “I’m going to check your diaper. It better be wet.”

    Sarita squeaked, blushed, and emptied her bladder. Pauline had her hand under Sarita’s padding before her accident was done, shivering as her fingers were soaked. One of those fingers slid further down – and hooked back up and in. Sarita arched her back and gasped.

    “It makes you hot to be embarrassed, I can tell, ‘cause I’m the same.” Pauline’s eyes were sparkling with sexy excitement. “You might be worse than me though. I thought I was the biggest diaper slut in the munch, but the trophy is yours.”

    “Pauline, stop…” Sarita whined, squeezing her tunnel around Pauline’s finger.

    “There’s one good thing about this whole Astra situation. I bet she left lots of diapers and changing stuff here.” Pauline grinned when Sarita meekly nodded. “I’m going to change your diaper now. You’re going to be a good girl and let me.”

    That’s so hot. Walking to the bedroom with Pauline’s hand down her pants was white hot too, no matter how physically awkward it was. Laying back on the changing blanket, Sarita’s breath caught in her throat at the tentative, gentle way Pauline tore her diaper tapes.

    Her girlfriend worshipped her rear and crotch with both hands before bringing wipes into play. To Sarita’s surprise, and some disappointment, Pauline went right to wrapping her in a new diaper, with no other steps.

    “No powder and stuff?” Sarita asked, wiggling her hips. The fit on the diaper was nice at least.

    “You’re not going to be wearing that very long.”

    “No?” Sarita giggled. “Why not?”

    “Because we’re going to make out until you wet, and then it’s coming off so we can make love.”

    The cocky grin on Pauline’s face was adorable, more-so for the hint of uncertainty around her eyes. Knowing her girlfriend, Sarita reached under Pauline’s skirt and planted her hand on a crotch-full of soggy padding.

    “You’re almost right. There’s one thing that happens first.”

    “What’s that?” Pauline squirmed in Sarita’s grasp, caught by the crotch, but caught between her bravado and vulnerability as well.

    “I’m going to change your diaper like you did for me.” Sarita rose and met Pauline’s lips for a trembling kiss.

    As gently as she could, Sarita laid Pauline on the changing blanket. Delicately, she pried open the tapes. It was a simple medical diaper, sagging off Pauline’s curves. It’s still sexy. I really am a diaper girl now.

    Sarita peeled Pauline’s diaper open and pushed her girlfriend’s legs apart. As she stroked Pauline’s wet, twitching skin, a memory from the Green Fairy tickled her mind. Why not? Leaning forward, Sarita licked slowly across Pauline’s slit. The taste wasn’t as bad as she’d feared. Salty and kind of bitter-sour. Not that strong. Way to be hydrated, babe.

    “Oh god!” Pauline arched her hips and quivered.

    “Is that something you like?” Sarita asked, teasingly.

    “I almost came. You knew what that was going to do to me. Uhhh – fuck you.”

    “Not yet babe.” Sarita pounced on the bed, straddling Pauline. “Not until you wet again, remember?”

    “We both have to wet?”

    “That’s right.”

    “I’m going to drink a gallon of water.”

    Sarita giggled and kissed Pauline on the cheek. Returning to the diaper change on hold, she caressed her girlfriend’s body with wipes. Pauline’s little moans at every touch were a delight. She taped a new diaper on Pauline, skipping the extras.

    “Now the make outs?” Pauline’s voice was so plaintive and cute that Sarita had no choice but to jump on her.

    They took their time, beginning with slow kisses that burned low, but hot. The coals those kisses ignited were fed by breezy touches along their skin, punctuated by frantic removal of whatever clothes were in the way of their touches’ trajectory.

    The twin infernos in their bodies had them writhing together on slick sweat, panting between kisses. Nothing separated them, but some rumpled padding around their waists. Sarita was the first to wet her diaper, stoking their fires even higher. With some minutes of straining and a hilarious grunt, Pauline joined Sarita with a soggy diaper.

    As rudely as they’d stripped their clothes, they tore their diapers off each other. Sexy wet on taboo wet on sweaty wet drove Sarita into a frenzy. Pauline shrieked in lust when Sarita bit her shoulder and plunged a trio of fingers into her lover. Stretched into uncomfortable delight, Sarita ground her thigh into Pauline’s cleft.

    A beautiful arc of pleasure drew taut across their nerves until they cried out together and collapsed. It seemed impossible to pull away from Pauline. Sarita sucked in great lungfuls of her lover’s breath while they cuddled cheek to cheek.

    “Do I have you all day tomorrow?” Sarita managed, curving an arm around the small of Pauline’s back.

    “I wish. We have the morning though. Evening too, if you want me to come back after work.”

    “I want.”

    “I love you.”

    “I love you.”

    This feels so good, but I don’t know if it feels safe. Maybe it would if I didn’t have Astra. Does she feel safe? She feels – strong. Ugh, I wish someone would choose for me. As strong as Sarita’s angst was, it couldn’t overcome the sheer comfort of afterglow in Pauline’s arms. She let troublesome thoughts fade away and cradled her new love in her arms.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 17

    The diaper decorating project loomed over Sarita, casting a darker shadow of guilt every day. In the end, she got it finished the way she always did, with panicked effort at the last minute. A light work week helped Sarita survive her late night decorating sessions. Dropping hours from her usual mid-thirties to mid-twenties was worrisome, coming as it did on the heels of lost commissions. Too stressed out about her love life and the diaper project to add another worry, Sarita told herself that fluctuating hours came with a retail job. It was true anyway, even if the timing was rotten.

    As with every English paper she’d written, Sarita did her best work under pressure. Her pen transformed the cheap diapers into silly masterpieces. Every diaper had a unique, simply drawn creature on it, in a variety of cute poses. Sarita also drew a small cast of more detailed critters that appeared on multiple diapers with the more simply drawn friends.

    The detailed critters often had a joke or meme in a speech bubble, though toward the end of a decorating session she often defaulted to “uwu” or “OwO”. Beyond the characters, Sarita did her best to highlight the existing decoration on the diapers with colored swooshes that complimented the existing colors.

    Naturally, her last decorating session was the night before the Munch Group event, as well as the longest, at thirty diapers decorated. Sarita was as proud as her hand was sore when she looked over her pile of decorated diapers. Having learned her lesson, she stashed the diapers behind a Nero-proof closet door.

    Since she had the next two days off work, Sarita had plenty of time to plan her outfit. When she’d gotten an invite to the event, Sarita had imagined wearing something on the conservative side of her club gear. After Astra had shown her diapered butt and naked privates off to the community, conservatism seemed silly.

    What kind of diaper girl do I want to be at the party? Sarita was surprised to discover that she wanted to be Little, even if her Angel wasn’t attending. I don’t actually know if Astra will be there, but it would be weird for her to go and not invite me, right? I’d have heard something from her by now, for sure.

    Sarita’s phone was full of notifications, as usual. Texts from Oriana and Nieves, confirming that she’d be at the event, were easily dispatched by replying with an emoji. A lovey text from Astra was likewise answered, though her Angel rated three emojis instead of one. Her thumb hovered over Pauline’s text conversation and froze as Sarita read Nohemi’s name below Pauline’s. I haven’t talked to her since the night we fought.

    Feeling motivated after finishing her project, Sarita opened Nohemi’s conversation and composed a text. “I’m sorry I was mean to you. I don’t know why I said that stuff. I hope you’re doing good. If you’re going to the Green Fairy tonight, I’ll be there.”

    Without waiting for a response, Sarita thumbed back to Pauline’s conversation and invited her girlfriend out shopping. Astra’s generosity over the electric bill had left Sarita with enough for a cautious purchase or two. To Sarita’s delight, Pauline was available and excited to meet at Ardenthill Medical Supply – otherwise known in Sarita’s head as The Diaper Store.

    Once past the boring, “normal” medical supplies and into the back room, Sarita was full of the same giggly energy she’d felt the first time she’d shopped there with Pauline. “Want to pick out some diapers for me?”

    “You’re going to wear to the event?” Pauline squeezed Sarita’s hand in approval and pulled her into the diaper aisle. “What’s my budget?”

    “Stick to the small packs, four or six max.” Sarita bumped her hip against Pauline. “We could split the pack if you want, and match at the event.”

    “You’re not going with Astra?”

    “I don’t think she’s going to this one. I haven’t heard anything about it from her.”

    “I’d like that.” Pauline smiled shyly and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Do I have to wear mine – so they show?”

    “How will people know we match if you don’t?”

    “You’re really going to show off a diaper?”

    “Like it matters after what I did with Astra. A dozen people saw my – everything.”

    “Wow. I didn’t realize you two did a scene like that. How’d you psych yourself up for it?”

    I didn’t. It just happened. Sarita shrugged in response. “You don’t have to show your diapers if you don’t want to. It’s enough if I know we match.”

    “You want me to match with you though.”

    It shouldn’t be about what I want. She can say no to me if she wants. Annoyingly, Sarita’s brain compared her advice to all the times she’d let Astra push her boundaries. Shut up, brain.

    “I want you to have fun.” Suddenly overcome with care for Pauline, Sarita pulled her girlfriend close and kissed her. “You dress the way you want. If you’re enjoying yourself, I’ll be happy.”

    “I don’t think I can wear just a diaper on my bottom half – but I could wear some see-through tights over it.” Pauline snuggled happily in Sarita’s embrace. “Are you going to be Little at the event?”

    “I want to try to be.”

    “For me it’s hard to be Little with people around – unless it’s you. Can I take care of you tonight, instead of being Little with you?”

    “Are you going to change me if I use my diapers?” Sarita nuzzled Pauline’s cheek.

    “You bet I will, but somewhere private.”

    Sarita sighed in relief and nodded. “I like that. So you’ll be what, my diaper-lover mommy? Walking around in a wet diaper because it turns you on? Sogatha, the Moist Mommy?”

    “You’re lucky I’m not your mommy regularly, with as much of a brat as you’re being right now.”

    “We could try it – if you want. Here, or after we’re done shopping.”

    “I don’t think they care if people are Little here. I’ve seen lots of obvious Littles shopping with their caregivers.” Pauline took a step back to look Sarita in the eye. “Are you okay with doing that here?”

    “I think so, it’s like practice for tonight, right?” Sarita squirmed. “I don’t really know how to start, though.”

    “What kind of Mommy do you want?”

    Like Astra – but doesn’t push me when I’m scared. Somebody who helps me but lets me contribute. A mommy that makes me feel special to her. So, not like Astra. That’s not fair – she does the last one really good.

    “Um – I don’t really know.” Explaining her preferences to Pauline in the context of what Astra did and didn’t do was an idea so terrible that even Sarita rejected it.

    “Can I guess?” Pauline brushed her fingers over Sarita’s cheek, letting her hand trail down to cup the back of Sarita’s neck. Shivering at the controlling gesture, Sarita nodded.

    “You got into this kink with dating, so I think you want a sexy mommy who can’t keep her hands off you.” Pauline was speaking quietly but confidently. She was also right on track to start. “Seems like you’d be a rambunctious Little, which means you need a Mommy that lets you have your fun but pulls you in when it gets to be a lot. How am I doing so far?”

    “Good. S-super good.” Sarita licked her lips.

    “I know you get sad when you’re lonely. You need a Mommy who keeps you close and lets you know that you’re loved.” Pauline caught Sarita’s hand with her free hand and laced their fingers together. “If I had to give it a name, I’d say something like – Adventure Mommy. Someone to show you new things and make sure they turn out good.”

    “That sounds really good.” Sarita felt her cheeks warm, especially when Pauline straightened her spine and firmed up her grip on Sarita’s neck and hand.

    “Sarita, I’ve been in this community a lot longer than you have. Don’t you think you should listen to me at the event tonight, so you don’t get in trouble?”

    “What kind of trouble?”

    “You were a little manic at the last event. I think you were nervous, maybe even scared. Do you need someone to keep you from getting into scary situations?”

    Dios Mio, yes. “Yes please.”

    Pauline drew Sarita forward, but instead of a hug, she brought Sarita’s head down to rest on her chest. “I’ll take care of you at the event tonight, if you want me to.”

    The magical, floaty feeling Sarita had come to associate with Littlespace teased at the edges of Sarita’s mind. She put her trust in Pauline, letting more of that feeling in. It was nowhere near as intense as the total surrender she’d felt with her Angel, but it felt good all the same.

      “Now, let’s talk about your outfit. You’ve turned into quite the potty-pants, so I might just have your diaper showing. That way I won’t have to check you all the time.”

    “You’re a potty pants too!” Sarita giggled.

    “Yes but I can change my own diapers. You need someone to change you, don’t you?”

    It’s no fun if I have to do it myself. Sarita nodded.

    “You probably have cute shoes at home, and we’ve already found you some diapers.” Pauline picked a four pack of rose-print diapers off the shelf. “Let’s see what they have for tops.”

    “Um, m-Mommy?” Sarita tried the word out on her tongue. It felt like an odd thing to call Pauline, but not impossible, especially not with the way she was acting. “I was only going to buy a pacifier or something small.”

    “Mommy’s buying the top, sweetie.” Pauline grinned and pulled Sarita along to the clothing aisle, skipping as she went. “Look, they have crop-tops.”

    Sarita examined the top Pauline had pulled off the rack. It was cut the same as a standard crop top, perfect for clubbing. Decoration-wise, it was pink and ruffled on the sleeves. A lace-trimmed heart panel on the chest read “Babygirl” in pink thread. “You think I’d be pretty in that?”

    “I do, but if we get it a size too small…” Pauline put the crop top back and fished out the next size down. “You could wear it without a bra.”

    Sarita squirmed, imagining herself in that crop top, a diaper, and not much else. Yeah, that’s hot. “What are you going to wear?”

    “Not baby clothes, besides the diaper I’ll have on to match my Little.” Pauline’s eyes twinkled. “You haven’t seen me in a corset or a miniskirt yet, have you?”

    Sarita thought back to her dates with Pauline, and realized she was right on both counts. Immediately, she felt cheated. Pauline in a corset and miniskirt, with a diaper under that skirt was something she badly needed in her life.

    “Can you wear both?”

    “Yes, thirsty girl, I can.” Pauline grinned and hugged Sarita. “How’re you feeling? You seem a bit more Little to me already.”

    Having Pauline so casually check in with her feelings gave Sarita a warm glow in her chest. She did it like it was normal – which I think it should be. Sarita felt like emotional space between Pauline and herself had been Frankensteined out of a half-dozen styles. Neither of them had known if they wanted a torrid sex room with tarps on the floor, a pile of beanbags for friends to lounge on, or a proper house to play Ms. And Ms. in. Taken together, those styles came together in a confusing clash.

    There was a new room joined to the clashy space, one with a sturdy-yet-easily-opened door that lead to a nursery. The nursery didn’t have much furniture – it was still small and new. It had a changing table, a spanking bench, and little else. What was important was that it was it’s own space, something Sarita could visit with Pauline where they’d both know who they were.

    In that nursery space, Sarita felt herself slip into a true Little mindset. It wasn’t the deepest she’d gone Little, not by a long shot. There was enough of a shift for Sarita to feel simultaneously safe in Pauline’s presence and anxious to please her for a reward. Ever-present worries about money and other adult nonsense faded away. That reprieve lightened Sarita’s heart enough that she smiled unconsciously.

    “I feel good Mommy. Happy.” The M word came easily to Sarita’s lips. She was fitting the word carefully around Pauline, like a sweater that had been dried too hot but would fit again once the knit had loosened. “Are we almost done shopping? I want to try my new shirt on.”

    “We can check out now.” Pauline beamed, taking in Sarita’s transformation. “You can only wear the shirt for a bit before tonight though. You’ll be sad if you get a stain on it.”

    “That sucks.” Sarita stuck her tongue out.

    “Keep up that negative talk and you’ll get a spanking when we get to my place.”

    “Sucks, sucks, sucks!” Sarita called out, giggling as her voice echoed in the aisle.

    “You’ve done it now.” Pauline winked at Sarita.

    The girls were very giggly as they each bought their item. Sarita might have worried about being too much for the clerk, but instead she took her cue from Pauline. Matching her behavior to – Mommy – seemed to work out well for everyone.

    —–

    Sarita and Pauline made a quick trip to Sarita’s apartment to pick up the decorated diapers and Sarita’s shoes. Nero was at his most friendly with Pauline, not only rubbing against her, but licking her hand when she pet him as well. Trusting in Nero’s good omen for the night, Sarita laid her head on Pauline’s shoulder as they bussed across town.

    Of the three apartments Sarita had seen since she’d joined the ABDL scene, Pauline’s was the most like her own. About the same size as Sarita’s, the apartment was in a newer building and boasted more plants. There was no cat though, for which Sarita good-naturedly chastised Pauline. Nothing was dirty, not even dishes in the sink, but there were clothes and books scattered about.

    Looking around Pauline’s apartment was so much like seeing Felisa’s place for the first time that Sarita felt herself slipping out of her Little mindset. Pauline as Mommy lacked some punch without the organized-big-sister vibe of Nohemi’s place or the ultra-clean-Mommy presence of Astra’s.

    That Pauline insisted on putting Sarita in a diaper before she could try her new top on helped her stay Little. When the diaper in question turned out to be one of Pauline’s plain ones, instead of the special diapers they’d bought for the event, Sarita found herself back in her mental nursery. The implication that Pauline expected to need to change Sarita before evening was at once hot and comforting.

    By the time evening arrived, Sarita was so Little she was a bit apprehensive about going out. She’d used her utilitarian diaper and had been made to wait for a change. Pauline had kept a gentle but firm presence up the whole time, including her rule about not letting Sarita hang out in her new crop top.

    Sitting on the floor in a wet diaper and a nightshirt of Pauline’s, Sarita watched her girlfriend transform into Mommy in earnest. The corset she chose was a very standard black velvet affair. Simple lines and an every-day feel on the corset laid a foundation for Pauline’s hot-but-mommy look.

    Pauline put one of the rose-print diapers on herself, with a booster pad she said was for, “Letting me concentrate on my Little girl without worrying about changing.” The striped miniskirt she put over that diaper didn’t quite match the corset, which gave the impression of someone who hadn’t been to the club in a while, but who used to go.

    A messy pile of curls atop Pauline’s head and an out of date makeup job completed the look. Sarita felt much smaller than Pauline, more than sitting on the floor could account for. Having most of Pauline’s responses to Sarita come with a head-pat was contributing to club-Mommy’s air of authority too.

    “Can I get ready now?” It was the fourth time Sarita had asked, and she was nervous to ask again. The last time she’d asked, Pauline had put a finger to her lips and shushed her.

    “No, but it’s time for me to get you ready.” Pauline crouched down to Sarita’s level. “Let’s start by changing that wet diaper. Lie back sweetie.”

    Sarita blushed and curled up. For the first time, she was embarrassed to be wet around Pauline. On previous dates, they’d both wet, usually Pauline first, and at Sarita’s command. Now she was feeling scruffy and infantile, especially compared to Pauline’s confidence and sharp dress.

    When Pauline put Sarita firmly on her back and tore her diaper open, the blushy feeling was enough to make Sarita cover her face with her borrowed nightshirt. Hiding in her thin cotton refuge, Sarita spread her legs at Pauline’s command. The soothing, crisp feeling of baby wipes settled Sarita’s nerves and allowed her to accept submission to her Mommy.

    Therefore, Sarita was only too happy to help when Pauline gathered up her ankles and lifted the Little girl’s legs. She was lifting her butt so Pauline could properly wipe when the first smack came down on her rear.

    “Ow! Mommy!”

    “I told you you’d get a spanking if you used a negative word, and you tripled down on that word.” Pauline slapped Sarita’s butt again. Warm excitement budded between Sarita’s legs.

    “But I was only playing around.” Despite her arousal, Sarita didn’t want Mommy to be upset with her – even if it meant missing out on the rest of the spanking.

    “Oh, so am I.” Pauline slapped Sarita’s butt with sharp, deft strokes. Sarita’s butt-cheeks were warming fast, but not as quickly as the now-damp spot on her crotch. The spanking was playful and surprisingly skilled. Sarita had never had occasion to imagine how Pauline spanked, but she knew she would in the future. At night. Alone. Under the covers.

    “I like spanking.” Pauline rubbed Sarita’s rear, sending hot prickles across the Little girl’s skin. “A good one makes for a nice long game. I can’t wait to have you over my knee, spanking and rubbing until you have a beautiful tomato color all over your butt.”

    “Oh.” Sarita groaned, bucking her hips upward. “We can do that instead of going to the thing.”

    “No we can’t.” Pauline laughed brightly. “Maybe after. If not, another day for sure.”

    Instead of soothing lotion, Pauline put a thin layer of sore muscle balm on Sarita’s rear. That it was a relatively mild product kept it from being painful, but it lit up her butt nonetheless. Sarita had a warm tingle on her rear that wasn’t going to let her forget her spanking for a while.

    Wrapped in a pretty diaper and wearing her snug babygirl top, Sarita was ready to go. To the club, to Pauline’s bed, it didn’t matter as long as something happened. She was so fidgety that Pauline only applied some pale pink lipstick and sparkly blush to Sarita before giving up on makeup. The final annoyance before they were out the door was the plain white skirt and cardigan that Pauline insisted Sarita put on over her diaper and crop top.

    Sarita was grateful for the cover-up on their way to the Green Fairy, of course. She had a new annoyance, that Mommy wouldn’t let Sarita sit in her lap on the bus. Mommy’s decision made sense in the back of Sarita’s mind, but she was free-floating in a place where she could ask for anything she wanted and let Mommy sort out if her request was okay.

    Without anything fun to do – Like snuggle or make out with Mommy – Sarita was bored and horny. Her butt tingled with the promise of sexy spankings that made her want to flirt with Mommy.

    She was having trouble calling Pauline by her name instead of Mommy, and had consequently been forbidden from talking for the rest of the trip. Deep enough in Little space that disobeying Mommy before a fun event was unthinkable, Sarita fished her phone out of Mommy’s purse.

    As she swiped notifications away, Sarita caught sight of a short series of texts from Nohemi. Mimi was going to be at the Fairy, and more importantly, Sarita was forgiven. Excitedly, Sarita turned to Mommy to tell her the good news – only to have a finger pressed to her lip. Giving a frustrated snort, Sarita rapid-fired exited texts off to Mimi, Oriana, Nieves, and Astra.

    The last name on that list made Sarita oddly uneasy, though she couldn’t put her finger on why. Angel’s not going to be there, so it shouldn’t matter if she knows I’ll be there. She wouldn’t be jealous – right?

    A text back from Nieves broke Sarita’s train of thought. Oriana’s Little was even more hyper than Sarita, by the flood of exclamation points that followed her messages. I’ve never been Little with Nieves before! Maybe our Mommies will let us play together. I wish the stupid bus would hurry up!

  • Getting Little: Chapter 18

    It was fun for Sarita to be the one the bouncer recognized at the Green Fairy, even if it was by association with Astra. The night had wild energy that propelled Sarita to the coat check and out of her cover-up clothes in record time. Magic was in the air, far more than she’d felt at the Fairy before. It feels like going to a movie as a kid, or like the Fourth of July.

    No sooner had they cleared the entryway, than Sarita and Pauline were pounced by the Munch group. There was no shortage of praise for Sarita’s cute Babygirl shirt, or her daring choice to wear only a diaper on her lower half. Compliments for Pauline came with more exclamations of surprise than Sarita’s did. Though unexpected, Pauline’s Mommy outfit was a hit.

    “Welcome to the caregiver side, Pauline.” Tanner was wearing a full dad-uniform. He’d tucked a polo shirt into jeans, and was wearing white New Balance sneakers. Paul looked desperately embarrassed – he was standing as far from Tanner as his held hand would allow. “It suits you. You picked a handful for your first Little, from what I hear.”

    “I’m not a handful! What did you hear?” Sarita crowded forward, only to be shushed by Pauline’s fingers.

    “Bigs are talking, sweetie. Don’t interrupt again, or you’ll miss out on the cookies.” Pauline put an arm around Sarita and held her tightly like a rambunctious toddler.

    Sarita squirmed, shocked at how dire Pauline’s threat sounded. I can have cookies at home if I want, Sarita thought, but she knew it was meaningless. Pauline was talking about cookies during the event, when other Littles would be eating them. Nervously, Sarita stilled against her Mommy, unwilling to endanger the cookies.

    “I think I can handle her.” Pauline smiled, but followed it up with an awkward laugh. “Do I really look good? I feel weird, like I’m cosplaying a caregiver.”

    “You shut Sarita down perfectly there, it was cute and well done at the same time.” Oriana nodded approvingly. “Who knows? Maybe this will be how you find your place in the community.”

    “I agree with Oriana. Don’t worry, it’ll feel more natural as you do it more.” Tanner pulled Paul closer and patted his bulked-up butt through the Little boy’s shortalls. “Let’s get these kids inside so they can play while we talk.”

    Released by Pauline, Sarita fell in step with the other two Littles. Nieves was in what looked like a Christening dress, with poofy lace hiding what was doubtless a diaper underneath. Paul took one of Sarita’s hands – after a moment Nieves took the other. The excitement building in Sarita was up to holiday levels for sure, maybe even as much as a birthday.

    Only one thing could so much as dent the evening’s fun, and that was the munch group skipping the dance floor. Sarita consoled herself that there weren’t many people dancing yet with the event just starting. In the lounge, Sarita pulled the other Littles close as she returned to the scene of her bare-bottomed humiliation.

    Happily, they veered away from the red leather seating and stopped at a table decorated with white tablecloth, its legs wrapped in gauzy crepe paper. Pauline handed over the bag of decorated diapers to Tanner, who frowned when he saw them.

    “These aren’t the ones I bought. Did you get new ones?” Tanner eyed the diapers critically, sending worrisome rumbles into Sarita’s tummy.

    “There was a cat-related accident and the ones you bought were shredded. Sarita picked up new ones.” Pauline smiled reassuringly at Sarita.

    “You didn’t have to do that. Accidents happen. I’d have replaced them.” Tanner had his wallet in hand, and was holding a hundred dollar bill out to Sarita.

    “Oh I can’t.” Sarita squirmed. She’d forgotten she’d have to confess losing the diapers Tanner had bought. All she wanted was the conversation to end.

    “Sarita, you’re Little right now, aren’t you?”

    “Yes.” Sarita looked at her fuzzy-sock-clad toes. This is like being scolded by a teacher.

    “Then I don’t want any arguments. You’re taking this money. I’ll give it to your Mommy for now, but I don’t want to hear that you didn’t take it from her after the event, understand?”

    “Okay. Sorry. Thanks.” With her gaze focused downward, Sarita was surprised to find herself in Pauline’s arms. Gratefully, she melted into her Mommy. That gratitude was cut short when Pauline diaper-checked Sarita. It was the least subtle check Sarita had gotten, with her diaper’s waistband pulled way out and Pauline loudly announcing that Sarita was dry.

    Nieves and Paul were both diaper-checked on the heels of Sarita’s embarrassment, making them a blushy, squirmy trio. The Bigs put all three of them on the floor by the table and the Littles fell into a pile, giggling awkwardly.

    It was amazing to cut loose and have some uncomplicated fun. Nieves didn’t know how to play patty-cake, which shocked Paul and Sarita both. Safe in their own Little world, Paul and Sarita taught Nieves how to play – or Paul did, at least. Sarita took advantage of the demonstration to deliberately miss Paul’s hands and smush his face. The third time she did it, Paul retaliated with tickles, sending Sarita shrieking behind Nieves.

    Paul chased on his hands and knees, Sarita fled the same way, circling around Nieves. In no time they were sweaty and overcome with helpless laughter. Nieves declared them both to be stupid babies and herself the most grown up of the Littles.

    “Oh yeah? If you’re so grown up, how come you didn’t know how to play Patty Cake?” Sarita snuggled up to Paul and his soft corduroy. Despite Sarita’s fast crawling, it was chilly on the floor in her skimpy outfit.

    “I know more grown up stuff. Listen up, babies. I’ll teach you a nursery song.” Nieves sang a song about a cat making a mess of musical instruments. After going through it twice, she tried guiding the other two through the melody.

    Paul was a terrible singer. Luckily, it didn’t make him sad to not be able to carry the tune. Unluckily, he leaned into his horrible croaking rendition of Nieves’ nursery song. It was made even worse by the song being in Spanish – Paul fumbled the pronunciations on top of being off-key.

    Song time came to an end when someone knelt next to the trio and thrust a diaper into Sarita’s face. With it an inch from her eyes, Sarita didn’t realize it was one of her decorated diapers for a moment.

    “Did you make this?” The Little demanding answers was a dark haired boy with a broad, flat face. He had a pink onesie on, with ruffles around the leg and arm holes. Without waiting for Sarita to answer, he launched into another question. “What’s the name of the Lizard?”

    “Um… Lucky.” Sarita realized she hadn’t named any of her drawings. She hoped the Little boy wasn’t going to ask for a full roster of names.

    “Oh, that’s so good! I’m Junfeng. You’re Sarita, right?”

    “Yeah, hi.” Sarita scooted back to give herself some more personal space and pointed at the other two Littles. “This is Nieves and Paul.”

    “Hi!” Junfeng waved aggressively. “Do you have cool diapers that Sarita made?”

    “I didn’t even get to look at them.” Paul held his hand out. “Can I see that one?”

    Reluctantly, Junfeng handed the diaper over. Paul and Nieves crowded around it, murmuring. Sarita felt heat blossom at the back of her neck. It’s no big deal, it’s just some doodles.

    “Oh my god what’s this cat-bird?” Nieves asked, only to have the diaper snatched out of her hand by Junfeng.

    “It’s mine! There’s only one of those. Every diaper has a special critter that’s only on one of them. Lucky is on lots of the diapers.”

    “Will you draw on my diaper?” Paul was so eager he was already peeling out of his shortalls.

    “Sh-sure. I need a marker or something though.” Sarita rubbed the back of her head.

    “Are you behaving, Jun?” A short, fit woman with an energetic gaze crouched by Junfeng. “Did you get to meet Sarita?”

    Sarita’s blush redoubled as Junfeng excitedly answered yes to both questions – Not that he really was behaving but I guess no bigs saw – and Jun’s Mommy fussed over her. Looking up, she realized there was a bit of a crowd around the table, their voices buzzing excitedly. Pauline and Tanner were working the crowd, hawking the decorated diapers like a new smartphone.

    “I found you a marker.” Nieves crawled back to the group and pressed a sharpie into Sarita’s hand. “You have to do my diaper first!”

    “Then me!” Junfeng insisted.

    “Nuh uh, I asked first!” Paul’s voice was on the edge of a whimper.

    “Everyone behave. You’re going to scare our artist off and then nobody will get decorated diapers.” Jun’s Mommy followed her threat up with a glare that calmed the other Littles down.

    It was surreal to have Nieves bend over and expose her pristine white diaper for Sarita to draw on. Doodling the first thing that came to her head, she was hardly finished when Paul pushed in to get his diaper’s wing decorated. A very impatient Junfeng was next – Sarita sighed in relief when he was done.

    That wasn’t the end of the impromptu art requests, however. To Sarita’s disbelief, there was a line of Littles waiting either with a diaper in hand or with the one they were wearing exposed. Junfeng’s mommy put cash in a plastic bucket and the other Littles and Caregivers followed her lead.

    For the next hour, Sarita had the absurd experience of being presented with a steady stream of diapered butts, while Nieves and Paul encouraged her and gave her inspiration for new critters. After the first half-dozen drawings, Sarita was pretty sure her friends were describing Pokémon. Whatever gets us enough ideas to get through the line. This is crazy!

    As the line cleared out, Sarita looked guiltily at the pile of cash in her bucket. She didn’t want to count it, didn’t feel like she’d really earned it. Feeling more unsure of herself by the moment, Sarita looked around desperately for Mommy. Instead, she found Tanner crouching down by her.

    “That was the most amazing thing I’ve seen at one of these events. You’re a hit, kiddo!”

    “It’s not a big deal, it’s only doodles. I don’t know why everyone was so excited.”

    “They like your art.” Tanner gave Sarita a gentle hug and stroked her hair. “Everyone’s proud of you. You made a ton of money for the Munch.”

    “I have more.” Sarita pushed the bucket toward Tanner. He pushed it right back.

    “That’s yours.” He shook his head at Sarita’s protests. “No arguing. I’m sure you can use it.”

    There was too much inside Sarita. Excitement, pride, and nervousness threatened to overwhelm her happy-go-lucky Little state. She wasn’t sure later if she did it because she was overwhelmed, or because she wanted to stay Little, but Sarita used her bladder as a pressure valve, wetting her diaper in front of Tanner and the other Littles. Her diaper crinkled as it expanded, roses fading rapidly across the crotch.

    “I need Mommy.” Sarita nevertheless clung to Tanner, as he was her nearest source of Bigness and comfort.

    “She’s right here.” Pauline swooped in and took Sarita in her arms.

    “Sarita pottied!” Nieves taunted.

    “Nobody likes a tattle-tale.” Oriana said, swatting Nieves on the flank. “Be nice to Sarita, especially when she’s having a moment.”

    “Besides, you pottied too!” Paul grabbed the sharpie and wrote POTTY on Nieves’ leg. To his dismay, and Sarita’s, Paul’s graffiti sent Nieves into tears.

    “You earned yourself a time-out, mister.” Tanner got Paul on his feet with the Little boy’s ear as a handle. “Oriana, I have some stuff that will clean that right off her leg.”

    “I do too, but thanks. I think all the Littles need a reset.” Oriana helped Nieves up as well, putting her girlfriend’s head on her bosom.

    “Good idea.” Pauline gathered up Sarita and the money-bucket. “Do you want to meet in the dining room in a half hour?”

    “That’s perfect.” Tanner delivered a swat to Paul’s padded butt and marched his Little boy away, his fingers still clamped on Paul’s ear.

    “Works for me. Come on, Little Snow baby.” Oriana and Nieves made their way slowly away, joined at the hip.

    “Are you going to take me to the changing tents?” Sarita took a deep breath, gearing herself up for going somewhere that it’d be obvious that she’d wet herself. Without the thought-obliterating high of being publicly spanked, the semi-public nature of the changing room had her worried.

    “Your diaper can hold more than that.” Pauline patted Sarita’s crotch before leaning close to kiss her. “I pottied too. We still match.”

    “There were so many people. Tanner said he was proud of me. It still doesn’t feel real.”

     “You want to hide like Nero?”

    “Yes Mommy.”

    “I’ve got you, love.”

    Pauline found a blessedly quiet and dim corner of the lounge where Sarita could cuddle up to her mommy while Pauline counted the money in the bucket. Mommy was quite insistent on trying to tell Sarita how much she’d made, until Sarita had to get cross with her. I get it, the money is a good thing. I’ll be excited later. Right now I need to not think.

    After finally taking the hint, Pauline put Sarita’s head in her lap and stroked the Little girl’s hair. Sarita spent the half hour nearly napping in a world where only the dim booth and Mommy’s caressing fingers existed. When Pauline sat her up, Sarita was refreshed and more Little than ever.

    She stuck close to Mommy on her way to the dining room, climbing into a high chair without protest when Pauline suggested it. Nieves and Paul were similarly seated, which removed any chance of Sarita feeling weird. She waved to her friends and they waved back. High chairs and big tables had them seated too far apart to talk much, and there was something more important concentrate on anyway.

    The snack available for Littles was dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets. Sarita gleefully bit the heads off each of her dinos, then the tails, moving on to the legs before devouring their helpless bodies. Mommy was super attentive throughout dinner, which Sarita rewarded with tons of kisses.

    “You two look like you’re having fun.” Sarita looked up to see Nohemi. Her friend was dressed in the tattoo-print dress she’d been wearing the night they’d met. She looks so sexy in that.

    Without any outward hint of jealousy or awkwardness, Pauline hopped up and gave Nohemi a hug. “Hemi! Girl it has been AGES. You missed the frenzy at the diaper sale.”

    Nohemi hugged Pauline, plenty awkward for her part. “I’ve been working all the time. That’s why I’m late tonight, I had to do a few hours even though I was supposed to be off. I heard about the frenzy though. Did Tanner really triple the price on the diapers?”

    “Shamelessly.” Pauline and Tanner said simultaneously.

    Pauline looked back at Tanner and laughed. “It was a great sale. The Munch is set for a while. You should come back. We’re meeting in the afternoons now, and you work at night, right?”

    “Uh, I don’t know…”

    “Astra doesn’t come at all anymore. She hasn’t in months.” Pauline said quietly.

    “I’ll think about it.” Nohemi’s rueful grimace meant no, whatever her words were saying. Sarita wasn’t sure if she wanted to run and hug Mimi or hide behind something – then realized that the high chair wasn’t going to let her do either.

    “I hear that you and Sarita have something to talk about. Do you want to take a minute while I grab desserts?” Pauline said it so casually, like she wasn’t trapping Sarita in a captive audience situation.

    “That’d be good.” Nohemi took Pauline’s seat and smiled tentatively at Sarita. “Hey Sarita.”

    “Mimi…” Sarita sighed. A brain full of Littlespace wasn’t how she’d wanted to talk to Nohemi, but it might make the apology easier. Rather than fight the thought-simplifying fog, Sarita leaned into it, addressing Nohemi as honestly as she could.

    “Mimi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said – I was being awful. I said it just to hurt you, because I was scared. I’m a bad baby. I’m really sorry though.”

    “You’re not a bad baby or a bad anything else.” Nohemi squeezed Sarita’s arm. “You did hurt my feelings, but you’re a good girl, okay?”

    “But – but – you’re such a good friend to me, and I hurt you on purpose. It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends anymore.”

    “Lucky for both of us, I still want to be – friends.”

    “Thank you Mimi.” Sarita felt her eyes tearing up and ground the heels of her hands into them until her tears and the aching sensations were gone. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. When I thought we weren’t friends anymore, I was so sad. I got mad at myself too, and threw a shoe at Nero.”

    “What did Nero do to deserve that?”

    “Nothing. I apologized to him too. I have a temper. I don’t mean to! Really, I don’t. Sometimes I don’t know what to do and I get so mad and – and – then I don’t have friends anymore.”

    “Sweetie.” Nohemi sighed and wiped her eyes. “Fuck, you’re cute when you’re Little. Hope out of that chair so I can hug you.”

    “I can’t, Mo-Pauline put me in here.”

    “It doesn’t lock, goofus.”

    Sarita frowned and tugged at the tray in front of her. It swung up easily, not being so much as latched down. With her face flaming, she hopped down from the chair and threw herself into Nohemi’s arms.

    “When I first met you, I was so nervous about telling you about the Green Fairy at all. Mentioning ABDL didn’t even cross my mind.” Nohemi held Sarita gently in her arms, stroking the Little girl’s back. “Now here you are in a soggy diaper and the talk of the event.”

    “That’s my Princess.” The short clipped tone wasn’t the most familiar version of the voice Sarita heard from behind her, but she was still sure who it was. Turning past Nohemi’s flinty face, Sarita’s guess was validated to see Astra in a lavender pantsuit with extra padding in her shoulders.

    “Hi Astra, I didn’t expect you here.” Nohemi’s face was back to normal, and her tone would sound fine to most people, but Sarita could hear the discomfort in her friend’s voice.

    “The board meeting wrapped up early this year, thanks to my suggestion of banning drinks until after business was done.” Astra motioned for Sarita to come to her.

    Unable to resist her Angel’s command, Sarita stepped out of her embrace with Nohemi. Halfway between the two women, she was brought up short by Pauline’s return. Mommy had a bowl of ice-cream in each hand and had frozen in place herself.

    Equidistant between her friend, her Angel, and her Mommy, Sarita turned to all three in sequence, feeling panic bubble up in her. Fresh wet hit her diaper, as her stomach rumbled unpleasantly. Crying or throwing a tantrum was tempting, and felt like it might blow up the tension enough that Nohemi and Astra would leave.

    Unfortunately, Sarita wasn’t sure she wanted them to go. What do I want, anyway?

  • Getting Little: Chapter 19

    “I should go.” Nohemi was walking away before Sarita had processed her words.

    “Hemi, wait!” Pauline rushed to the table. By the time she’d set down the ice cream bowls and turned around, Nohemi was out of anything but shouting distance.

    “Are you really not going to give me a hug, Princess?” Astra held her arms out to Sarita. Pauline gave Sarita a pained look before casting a glance at Nohemi, who was almost lost in the crowd.

    I’ll tell Mommy to go after Mimi, and then Angel can get her hug, and maybe – go somewhere else, then Mommy and Mimi can come back and hang out and everything will be okay.

    Sarita turned to Pauline. “Mommy, you should…”

    “You’re calling her mommy?!”

    The floor dropped out from under Sarita, leaving her wobbling in her soggy diaper. She turned fearfully toward Astra, to see a gutted look on her Angel’s face.

    “I thought you said – you said you couldn’t use that word. So it was just – me? I wasn’t good enough?”

    “No that’s not what happened I – I…”

    Astra burst into tears and ran, pushing her way through Littles and Caregivers alike, heedless of the exclamations of outrage she left in her wake.

    “That’s not what I meant…” Sarita turned back to Pauline, and looked behind her to see Nohemi gone. She was one on one with the person she’d come to the Fairy with – but the vibe was shattered.

    “Fuck.” Pauline rubbed her temples. “There’s always so much drama in this community.”

    “Astra and Nohemi are fine together until there’s something they both want.” Tanner sighed. “Then you can’t put them in a room together without someone getting their ear bitten.”

    “Weird analogy, Tanner. Is Astra or Nohemi supposed to be Mike Tyson?” Oriana asked.

    “What? Neither. It’s a Godfather reference.” Tanner looked down his nose at Oriana, hamming it up.

    “I’m so sorry!” Sarita wailed. The tears that’d built up when she’d been caught in the triangle burst forth in their full Little splendor. With her emotions uncapped by her headspace, Sarita was sure that everything was going to be awful forever, and it would be her fault the whole time.

    “Don’t be sorry, soggy-pants.” Pauline grabbed Sarita by the waist and sat, pulling the Little girl into her lap. “Stop worrying about stuff between bigs. Your job is to eat ice cream and fill up that diaper so I can change you.”

    “You’re not su-su-su-supposted to tease me ab-ab-ab-about that.” Sarita hiccupped loudly.

    “I’m not supposed to tease you about what? The big wet diaper you have on? Hey Nieves, did you know your friend is a bigtime potty pants?” Pauline bounced Sarita on her legs, though it took both legs for her to manage it.

    “Oh gosh, you’re a baby.” Nieves snickered.

    “I am not! You’re the baby!” Sarita frowned at Nieves, sniffling her tears away.

    “Nuh uh, I don’t have pee in m pants!” Nieves giggled.

    “Yeah but you DID.” Paul said smugly.

    “I don’t think you want to throw stones from your glass house, young man.” Tanner said.

    Paul and Nieves were both blushing. Sarita was trying to remember why she was angry, or crying, but being bounced by Pauline was too distracting. Finally, she giggled and managed a small smile.

    “That’s a happier baby.” Tanner smiled at Sarita. “Better eat your ice cream before it melts.”

    “I can’t believe you got her ice cream.” Oriana complained with an exaggerated eye-roll. “Now all the Littles are going to want some, and they’ve already been promised cookies.”

    “Oh yeah, cookies!” Was what Sarita intended to say. Through the mouthful of ice cream she’d shoveled into her mouth, it came out as a series of grunts and a spray of white.

    “Sarita! That was very naughty.” Pauline pried the spoon out of Sarita’s hands. “You just lost your spoon privileges. If you can sit quietly, like a good girl, I’ll feed you the rest of the ice cream.”

    “Ooooooh, like she’s a baby!” Paul and Nieves sing-songed in unison.

    Sarita stuck her tongue out at her Little friends, only to have it pushed back in by a spoon full of ice cream. She blushed down to her neck when Pauline not only tipped the spoon’s contents into her mouth, but nudged Sarita’s mouth closed with a knuckle.

    Being fed on Pauline’s lap was intensely embarrassing, but at least no one outside their group was paying attention. Nieves’ and Paul’s teasing lost considerable sting when Sarita realized that neither of them had any ice cream. This fact eventually dawned on the other Littles as well, spurring them to drop their teasing and beg for ice cream instead.

    After a lot of hemming and hawing from Tanner and Oriana, it was decided that the Littles had been barely good enough to get a treat. The Littles made a mad dash for the ice cream station, suddenly panicked that it was going to close. Their caregivers followed amusedly behind, leaving Pauline and Sarita relatively alone.

    Sarita was back in good spirits, with a tummy full of sugar and a sticky face. She cuddled close to Pauline while her mommy wiped her chin and sighed. An itchy feeling in her diaper forced Sarita to fidget on Pauline’s lap until she found a position without so much damp squish to it.

    “Feeling better, baby girl?” Pauline traced her fingers along the curve of Sarita’s ear, and down her jawline.

    “Yes, thank you. How about you, Mommy? Are you okay? That thing with Astra and Mimi was – a lot.”

    “It was, but I’m okay, thank you for asking. How are you doing with the event? I know I promised you cookies, but we’re two hours away from the end, and they don’t hand out the cookie bags until then.”

    “Two hours?” Sarita considered. “Um, things are okay right now except – I need a change.”

    “You need what?”

    “A change.”

    “What kind of change?” Pauline smirked. “I have some quarters.”

    “Mommy what are you – a diaper change!”

    Pauline giggled. “Shout it louder for the people in the back.”

    Sarita felt her face and the back of her neck burn and buried her face in Pauline’s shoulders. “You’re so mean to me!”

    “I’m trying to be helpful. Why do you need your diaper changed, anyway?”

    “You know why!”

    “Not until you say it, I don’t.”

    “Because I peed in it.” Warm prickles were spreading out across Sarita’s skin the more Pauline teased her.

    “Well, it’s not leaking yet. I’m sure you can pee in it a few more times.” Pauline squished Sarita’s diaper against her crotch, freshly wetting the already warm skin there. “I like the idea of you walking around more and more wet, until your diaper is so full it falls off.”

    “What are you even doing?” Sarita squeaked. “Where did all this weird dirty talk come from?”

    “Oh, so it is dirty talk for you.” Pauline kissed Sarita’s neck. “You’re blushing so pretty. You like being in a soiled diaper? Being teased about it? How far are you going to go with this, Sarita? Am I going to have a messy girl on my hands?”

    “Mommy – stop – too much.” Sarita squirmed against Pauline and bit her mommy’s shoulder.

    “Okay, I’ll stop. That was fun though. Your reactions got your mommy all wet too. In a sexy way.”

    “If we went home instead of staying to the end – what would we do?”

    “Hmm, first thing would be to give you a spanking.”

    “What? Why?”

    “Because of your sexy, spankable butt.” Pauline tilted Sarita’s head up for a kiss. “And you probably did something naughty, but I don’t micromanage your behavior. It’s safer to have maintenance spankings.”

    Another Pauline spanking, purely for fun? Yes please! “Then – kisses?”

    “More than kisses. Kisses and touches – until we’re tired enough to sleep.”

    “I want to go home, mommy.” Sarita bumped her forehead against Pauline. “But I don’t want to be outside in a wet diaper.”

    “The changing area should be mostly empty, with everybody at the ice cream.” Pauline patted Sarita’s butt, and the Little girl took the hint, hopping off her mommy’s lap. With Sarita’s hand in hers, Pauline headed for the changing area.

    Whether Pauline had engineered a moment to give Sarita maximum privacy for being changed or not, Sarita appreciated it. Before the drama with Astra and Mimi, staying to the end of the night would have been her choice. I STILL haven’t gotten to dance with my date at one of these things!

    As emotionally wobbly as Sarita was feeling, and with the promise of sex at whichever apartment they picked, leaving the club was a relief. A double-relief, since it’d been a surprise for Pauline to even suggest it.

    There was only one occupied tent in the changing area, and no one hanging around to see Pauline and Sarita enter one of them. As before, the interior was cozy with a dim light illuminating a changing blanket, a few pillows, and a well stocked shelf of diaper supplies. Tenderly, Pauline tore the tapes on Sarita’s diaper and peeled it off her.

    “You really went. Is this all okay with you? Being in a soaked diaper you can’t hide, not being changed right away, being Little around a lot of people, and all that?”

    Sarita considered. As far as she could tell, she was feeling fine. It was nice to have her bits airing out, and it’d be even nicer if Mommy would wipe them so they’d stop itching. With so many other diapered Littles around, her diapered state hadn’t been a source of worry.

    “It’s fine? Yeah, it’s fine. My butt itches though, Mommy.” Sarita wiggled her rear for emphasis.

    Pauline giggled. “That’s crazy. You really like this stuff. You weren’t just doing it for Astra, or because you thought I wanted you to.”

    Sarita sighed. The wipes, please! “I do. I don’t know why, but it’s sexy and fun.”

    Finally, Pauline wiped Sarita’s butt. The Little girl shivered at the tingly-clean feeing. Pauline’s strokes with the wipes became slow and soft while she cleaned Sarita’s crotch. “I don’t know why I like it either. You’re amazing for being so brave and adventurous.”

    “It doesn’t feel that way, but thank you, love.” Sarita sighed and rubbed her temples. “Is it okay if I’m not as Little anymore?”

    “Of course. I’m impressed you kept it up so long. That time we played in the playpens was the Littlest I’ve ever been.”

    “Do you want to be Little more?”

    “I don’t know.” Pauline put a fresh diaper under Sarita’s butt and gently applied lotion to her girlfriend’s skin. “Maybe it’s hard for me to do because it isn’t for me.”

    “Maybe. It’s fun though, having another Little around.”

    “So you’re saying I should arrange a play-date with Nieves?”

    Sarita giggled and hid her face behind a pillow. “Is that kind of stuff okay with you? Would you want to be my mommy – more than when we’re at an event?”

    “I – don’t know that answer either.” Pauline’s fingers, freshly covered in lotion, lingered over Sarita’s sex as they described slow circles. “I had a lot of fun tonight. Especially feeding you the ice cream and teasing you about your wet diaper.”

    “Okay as long as – as you – oh god, Pauline, what are you doing?”

    “Edging you before I take you home, duh.” Pauline grinned wickedly.

    “You don’t have to edge me you could uh – go all the way.”

    “Here in the club? You’re loud, sweetie.”

    Sarita blushed and squirmed. “You’re horrible. Terrible – oh god – girlfriend.”

    “I’m not hearing anything like Stop, or Don’t, or No.” Pauline put an extra squirt of lotion on her fingers and worked them across Sarita’s sex until it was as slick outside as in.

    “Pauline…” Sarita arched her back, whimpering when Pauline pulled her fingers away. “Why? Oh god, don’t stop.”

    “You’re loud, remember? Also, edging.”

    “I’m going to bite you.”

    “No, you’re going to be a good girl, because the more you behave, the faster you come when we get home.”

    “Where did subby Pauline go? I liked her. She did whatever I said.”

    “She’s still here. I uh – wanted to thank you for being okay with going home early. I don’t think I can keep up being in charge for much longer.”

    “You should have said something.” Sarita sat up, feeling the last of her Little headspace fade away. Becoming big made it somewhat awkward to be sitting on a diaper, especially since she was going to be wearing it openly to the clothing check area. Oh well, it’s not like everyone hasn’t seen my diapers already.

    “I did – kind of.”

    “You should have said a non-kind-of thing.” Sarita squatted forward and leaned in for a kiss. Wobbling off-balance, she let herself tip all the way back on her back. “I know what it’s like to get overwhelmed at a party.”

    “Yeah? Thanks.” Pauline sprinkled a cursory pinch of powder onto Sarita and taped her diaper up. “I think you’re totally un-Littled at this point. Want to get out of here?”

    “Yes.” Sarita got to her knees, then sat back as a thought struck her. “You wet too, didn’t you? Don’t you want to change?”

    “Uh – n-not really.” Pauline’s blush was evident even in the dim tent light.

    “Oh, I see.” Sarita grinned. “I keep forgetting how much you like that. Huh, you got all hot when I wet my diaper on top of you once. Maybe I should pee in your diaper sometime.”

    “What the fuck? Where did that come from?” Pauline squirmed, pressing her thighs together around her boosted diaper.

    “Did that get you hot?”

    “N-no.” Pauline tried to scoot out of the tent, only to have her ankle caught by Sarita.

    “Oh look! I found Subby Pauline.”

    “Is this – fun for you? Switching? Because – wow – it’s fun – me. I mean, fun for me.”

    “Now who’s edging who?” Sarita crawled atop Pauline to kiss her, and crawled right out of the tent in the next moment. “Come on, let’s go home.”

    “I don’t get to complain about you teasing me right now, do I?” Pauline crawled out of the tent with a rueful expression on her face.

    “You don’t get to complain about that for the rest of the night.” Sarita offered Pauline her hand. Fingers twined together, the girls ambled toward the club entrance.

    By mutual agreement, they avoided their friends on the way out. Sarita had no energy for having someone try to convince her to stay, and Pauline seemed the same. Sticking to the walls of the rooms they passed through got them to the clothing check without seeing anyone in the Munch group.

    Buses were scarce, so late at night. With Sarita’s apartment slightly closer, and with a Nero to check up on, they made the couple mile walk to Sarita’s place. For a wonder, Nero was in a great mood when they arrived, and didn’t chew them out at all.

    It’d been a long evening, and a long walk. A couple of miles in a diaper had cooled both girls down, especially Pauline. She was regretting walking so far in a wet diaper for certain. That they were greeted by a snuggly kitty, instead of an angsty one, tipped the scales away from sex to cuddles.

    Sarita, Pauline, and Nero fell asleep in a pile on the couch, while Netflix’s “Are You Still Watching?” message flickered across their faces. The morning passed in a bit of unfortunate panic. Pauline had forgotten to set an alarm early enough to get her home in time for work. Some of Sarita’s diaper-tip money got Pauline an taxi – she was out the door in a flurry of kisses.

    Idly, Sarita checked her work’s app for her next scheduled day. In true Britt fashion, Sarita’s schedule was empty. Her manager couldn’t be bothered to put the schedule up even a day in advance. The worst part was that tomorrow was Thursday which was the day her schedule was the most variable. Thursdays were always a random choice of opening, afternoon, or evening shifts.

    Sarita puttered around her apartment until two in the afternoon, when the impending worry of not knowing when she was working finally outweighed her distaste for calling her boss. With a handful of candy for bravery, or motivation, Sarita dialed her boss.

    “Hello! It’s a great day at GrrlPower, where we empower women to define their sartorial selves!”

    “Hi Britt, it’s Sarita.”

    “Oh. Hello.”

    “Um, I saw the schedule wasn’t up for next week and I just wanted to know uh – what shift do I work tomorrow?”

    “The schedule is up.”

    “What do you mean? I don’t see any shifts for the whole week.”

    “Right. That’s your schedule for next week.”

    A wave of nausea made Sarita reach for her kitchen counter to stabilize herself. “What? I have all next week off?”

    “That’s correct. You’re free to keep checking the schedule to see if you have any shifts for next week, but this week’s schedule is set.”

    “You’re – firing me?”

    “No, I’m not firing you. I just don’t have any shifts for you right now.”

    “What am I supposed to do?”

    “Keep checking the schedule, like I said.”

    “But I don’t have a job! I need this job.”

    “I’m sorry Sarita, we simply don’t have any shifts for you right now. Goodbye.”

    Sarita fell to her knees, staring at her phone. She hadn’t counted the diaper tip money yet, but if it was enough to get her through her next rent payment, that’d be a miracle. I could go to Astra – but I just made her mad. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! What am I supposed to do?! I’m going to be homeless!

    Nero nuzzled Sarita’s foot and was promptly yanked into Sarita’s arms. He was either in dire need of snuggles, or had sensed the gravity of the situation, because he purred instead of protesting.

    “N-nero, you might have to be somebody else’s kitty. It’s not good for – for a kitty to be homeless.”

    Sarita’s insides were too frozen for tears to make it to her eyes. She knelt in shock, petting Nero reflexively, her mouth tasting of chalk. Astra would take me back if I agree to do everything she wants. She’d have to. She wants it so bad.

    A scream rattled inside Sarita, stuck in the same freeze that had imprisoned her tears. Going over to Astra one hundred percent would mean the end of her current life. A breakup with Pauline was the first thing that’d have to happen. She’d lose her apartment, the first home she’d ever had on her own.

    On top of that – she was sure Astra had endless humiliations for a full-time baby. Humiliations that would be hot in the right context, but if she had to choose between them and living on the street…

    More than anything, Sarita wished she could throw up. Her limbo state of too sad to cry, too dazed to be nauseous, was horrible. If there was any other way to get out of the trouble she was in, she’d take it, but every suggestion fell apart as soon as she examined it.

    “I could crash with Pauline,” Sarita said to Nero. “But, we’re dating and that’s so much pressure on her. She’d be dumb to say yes – and if she did, what if I can’t find a job right away?”

    “Maybe Nohemi would let me sleep on her couch – but that’s almost as bad as Pauline. She has even less reason to say yes than Pauline does, especially after all the drama I caused her.”

    Nero rumbled and made biscuits on Sarita’s lap. She was petting the air more often than the cat, in her distraction. Who else? Oriana and Nieves? No. Paul and Tanner? No. Ineis? Maybe – and I could work in the Pony or something. If they’re even hiring. And she hasn’t seen me much lately.

    Sarita thumbed her phone open and opened up her Dad’s contact. She had more than enough money for a flight to Mexico. Dad would take her in, no questions asked. There wasn’t money to ship her stuff though.

    What do they let you take on a plane these days? Two little bags and a suitcase? How much can I get in those?

    Sarita looked around her apartment, imagining everything that couldn’t fit in airline baggage dimensions disappearing. When she looked down at Nero, her tears finally flowed. There wasn’t money for a second seat for Nero. Cats died all the time in the cargo section. Going to Dad meant saying goodbye to her kitty.

    “Nero, I need you to listen to me.” To Sarita’s eye, nothing about Nero’s behavior changed, but she plowed ahead anyway. “If Astra takes us in, you have to be nice to her, okay? You don’t have to sit on her lap or anything, but you can’t run away all the time, and you can’t make angry meows at her.”

    Nero flicked an ear at Sarita. She nodded at him and continued. “Her place is crazy clean so you – well both of us have to be less messy, okay? It’s going to be hard – but – but we can do it, right?”

    With trembling fingers, Sarita exited her Dad’s contact and opened Astra’s. She had a limited window of time to make the call. Her burst of motivation from making a decision was already fading. Two taps on the screen started a call.

    “Sarita? Princess – this is not the best time…” Astra sounded upset, annoyed, and exactly in the terrible emotional place Sarita had expected to find her. Cringing, Sarita swallowed her pride.

    “Angel, I’m sorry about last night. I only went with Pauline because you didn’t say anything about going when I mentioned it to you.”

    “Oh! Oh my god, is that really why you went with her?” The rise of hope in Astra’s voice made Sarita flinch.

    Closing her eyes, Sarita put on her best liar’s voice. “Yeah, I wanted to go with you, I was sad so I went with Pauline. But I – love you. I want to be your Princess. If you still want me to be – and live with you.”

    “I knew you’d come to me eventually.” Astra’s tone was thick with emotion, Sarita could pick out relief, happiness, and pride for starters. “Oh Princess, this is a dream come true! You don’t know how long I looked for you, how long I looked for the perfect baby girl.”

    “That’s me.” Sarita winced. “Do you think we could get me moved before the month is out? So uh – I don’t waste another month of rent here?”

    “Of course! The sooner the better. I’m going to take such good care of you, Princess, you have no idea. You haven’t seen the half of what I’m going to do for you yet. It’ll be perfect. I promise. You’ll never have to worry or be sad again.”

    “That sounds amazing. Thank you, Angel. Um, if you’re at work or something I can let you go, I just wanted to be sure we talked.”

    “That’s probably a good idea, I’m supposed to be taking a call from a big client sometime this hour. I’ll call you as soon as I’m off work, the first instant, okay?”

    “Okay.”

    “I love you, Princess.”

    “Love you, Angel.”

    I’m safe. Sarita threw her phone at the couch. It’ll be fine. I like Astra. I’m sure I can love her someday. There was so much good that had happened with Astra, so much generosity, it was weird to be feeling so trapped with her.

    As Astra’s Princess, there’d be more scenes at the Green Fairy – but they could talk about those ahead of time, probably. Even if the scenes stayed extreme, at least she’d be famous. Littles like Nieves and Paul would be impressed by her, which was cool.

    There’d be a bunch of rules and punishments and stuff, living with Astra, but what had Sarita managed on her own? Without rules, she’d managed two years of living on her own and ended up homeless. It’s a good thing that I won’t run my life. I can’t keep a girlfriend, or a job, or an apartment. I can barely keep a cat.

    Squaring her shoulders, Sarita forced herself to focus on the positives. Astra’s fingers had provided the most mind-blowing orgasms of her life. She wouldn’t have to sell all her stuff. She’d miss the apartment, but get to stay in Ardenthill. She’d still be able to see her friends, even if it’d be awkward for a while.

    Best of all, I keep Nero. I hope you appreciate it, furball.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 2

    After everything that had happened the day before, sleeping in would have been ideal. Unfortunately, Sarita’s roommate objected to that plan. After the fourth horrible yowl, Sarita threw a pillow at her bedroom door.

    “Nero, have mercy!”

    Nero, merciless as his namesake, managed a skull-piercing meow.

    It was a grumpy girl and a contented cat that sat on the couch twenty minutes later. Nero was licking the last of his wet food off his whiskers; Sarita was starting her toast. While she ate, she checked her phone. There was a message from Nohemi, she was hoping Sarita had slept well.

    Sarita smiled and texted back a thanks. Nero wormed his way under one of Sarita’s knees and poked his head between her legs. He gave a little chirpy meow, begging to be pet. Sarita put the phone away and attended to her cat. She was waking up whether she liked it or not.

    Which I don’t, for the record.

    Finishing breakfast freed a hand for her phone. Nero wasn’t done with her petting hand by a long shot. In the meantime, Nohemi had sent a couple of funny memes. Sarita giggled and sent a few back. They chatted idly while the sun climbed, until Nero’s cardboard box was bathed in its glow.

    At that point Sarita was abandoned by her fickle kitty. She looked around the apartment in despair. Her mom would be horrified at the state of the place. It wasn’t dirty, mostly. There was a pile of dirty clothes and a few dishes scattered around. The rest was stuff that should be put away, but Sarita hadn’t bothered with.

    She couldn’t bother now, either. It seemed nuts, to waste her free day before a hell weekend on chores. Settling into full bachelorette mode with a Mexican coke and a bowl of chips, Sarita put an old favorite on the TV. She half-watched, half focused on her conversation with Nohemi.

    Sarita and Nohemi were at the point of telling each other embarrassing childhood stories when a text came in from Astra.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Hi! It’s Astra from last night. I’d like to see you again. I remember you said you’re free today, and so am I. Or we could do another day.

    It wasn’t a casual message with memes at all. It came right to the point, in fact. Anxiety warred with happy butterflies in Sarita’s belly. Two texts in a row from Nohemi went unanswered as Sarita considered Astra’s text.

    [Sarita]                                    Yeah, I’d like to. Where do you want to meet?

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Wonderful! How about Ashley Park? Can you be there in an hour? There should still be a good amount of daylight left.

    An hour?! Sarita stared at her phone in panic. Her phone informed her that it was already one in the afternoon. Normal people would have been put together for the day ages ago, even on a day off.

    [Sarita]                                    No problem! See you then. <3

    Sarita spent her super-fast shower second guessing the heart she’d sent. She was alternately sure it made her look thirsty, flippant, or dumb. After all that worrying, and conducting a sniff test on more than twenty pieces of clothing, Sarita had time for only minimal makeup.

    Guiltily, she checked her conversation with Nohemi before heading out the door. Sarita managed a quick response to Nohemi’s story about a disastrous rope swing incident, and let her know she’d be away from her phone for a bit. The last stop on Sarita’s way out was kiss goodbye to Nero, to which he responded to with an ear-twitch.

    Sparsely-peopled sidewalks made it easy to jog most of the way to the park. Sarita walked the last block to cool off, making it to the park’s iconic fountain with mere minutes to spare. Sarita preferred the fountain in its winter mode as a skate rink. The rest of the year, the ducks colored the fountain water a suspicious pale green.

    Astra was already there. She looked amazing in a flowing summer dress. It was sleeveless and had a design that was sharp enough to look painted on. A winding vine with flowers spiraled from the hem of the dress to her shoulders.

    It was hard not to feel shabby in a pair of leggings and a waist-tie blouse, so Sarita didn’t bother. She’d have to rely on charm instead of her outfit.

    “Hi.” Sarita said, brushing back her sweaty hair.

    “Hi cutie. It’s good to see you again.”

    “Thanks. I had a really good time last night.”

    “I thought you had a terrible night.” Astra said with a wink.

    “The second half of it was good.” Sarita said, blushing. “I’m really glad you texted me, I wasn’t sure you would.”

    “I was sure I would.” Astra said. “Want to walk with me to the rose garden?”

    Sarita looked at Astra’s offered hand in a panic. Hand holding, already? What kind of girl does she think I am?

    Like the brazen hussy she was, Sarita took Astra’s hand. They set off along the white gravel path with Sarita praying her hand wouldn’t get clammy with nerves.

    “I’d ask you what you thought of the Green Fairy, but you didn’t get to see anything other than the bar. Which part were you and Nohemi going to visit?”

    “No idea.” Sarita said. “She told me there’s BDSM and swinging there, the signs for those were pretty easy to figure out, but I don’t know which one she was going for.”

    “Interesting.” Astra said.

    What part is interesting about what I said? Sarita burned with curiosity. Which door was Astra hoping she’d been planning to step through?

    Belatedly, she remembered that Astra had come out of the teddy bear door. Sarita had some idea of what the pony and mermaid doors might be, but none at all for the teddy bear. Her only idea for that door had been nixed when Astra had come out, instead of a burly hirsute gay guy.

    “What about you? The sign for the section you were in has me stumped.”

    “I really want to tell you, but I don’t want to scare you off.”

    Sarita blinked. She came to a stop, or tried to, before Astra’s grip on her hand pulled her stumbling to pace.

    “It’s weirder than – I’m guessing the door with the horse head is pony play?”

    “Good guess, you’re right. Yes, it’s weirder than pony play.”

    Sarita HAD to know. She did a little skipping step to impatiently pull ahead of Astra and block her path.

    “Please tell me? I won’t judge you, I promise.”

    “That’s easy to say before you hear what it is.”

    “Do you think I’ll be freaked out because it’s something you want to do with me?”

    The question put an actual blush on Astra’s cheeks. “Yes, it is something I’d like to do with you.”

    “Please tell me!” Sarita stamped her foot. “It’ll drive me crazy if you don’t.”

    “I don’t usually come right out of the gate with this on a first date.” Astra said, hesitantly.

    It was Sarita’s turn to blush. It was obviously a date, of course, but saying it put her on the spot. It would be far too early to talk about crops and handcuffs, if Astra had stepped out of the BDSM room. Sarita was too curious about the teddy bear, though. It didn’t match anything she knew about fetish stuff.

    “I’m sorry I’m being pushy. I’m really curious, but I can stop.”

    “You can stop, but you haven’t yet?” Astra smirked. “Are you being a little bratty on purpose, or is this the regular you?”

    Sarita felt her face go hot all over. She was falling into her sub-brat personality from her days with Felisa. There was something so dominant and confidant about Astra. Sarita’s new crush was the woman Felisa had only wished she could be.

    “I’m making this totally weird. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

    “Sarita, it’s okay. I think you’re really cute. You’re getting a little carried away, maybe, but still cute. I’m trying not to get carried away myself.”

    So I didn’t screw up the date, but I did screw up finding out what that room is. Cursing her slipup, Sarita squeezed Astra’s hand.

    “Thanks for being understanding. I haven’t hung out with people much, or dated in a long while. It was me and my cat for the last year. I think I got a little weird.”

    “You’re adorable. Can I kiss you?”

    “Already?! I mean um – ye-yeah. Yes. Yes I’d like that.”

    Sarita had only moments to cringe over her babbling reply, before Astra’s lips met hers. She closed her eyes and quivered. It was a gentle, lips-only kiss. The feeling was of exploration and excitement, and it made Sarita bounce on her toes.

    “There. It’d be weird to talk about our kinks before we’d kissed.”

    “What?”

    “Your question. I can give you an answer, if you still want one.”

    “Oh I – I do but – am I doing this all the wrong way? I don’t want to mess up. That kiss was great and um – oh god I’m so cringe, I’m sorry.”

    “Hey. Come here.”

    Astra had not relinquished Sarita’s hand. She pulled Sarita in, wrapping Sarita in a gentle hug. Sarita held on, not caring how sweaty she was physically or socially. The affection felt amazing.

    “Let’s start over. You’re a pretty girl. Can I kiss you?”

    “Yes please.”

    The second kiss was as tingly as the first, but the tingles stayed in Sarita’s belly instead of reaching her toes.

    “That was lovely. I like kissing you. I’d like to do other things too, if you want to hear about them.”

    Sarita nodded quickly.

    “I’m not trying to keep you in suspense, I promise, but I do want to remind you that it’s a pretty strange kink. If you don’t like the idea at all, I’ll drop it and I won’t bring it up again.”

    “I appreciate you trying to prep me. I spent the whole pandemic on the internet, though. I’ve seen some weird stuff.”

    “Okay. In that case… the teddy bear room is for ABDL. Adult Baby Diaper Lovers. Ageplay, diapers, lots of acronyms like MDLG, that kind of thing.”

    Okay. That WAS weird. Weirder than I expected. By a lot.

    Sarita blinked as she tried to process Astra’s statement. The other woman’s mommy vibes made a lot more sense, suddenly. Astra had managed to name an area of kink that Sarita knew nothing about. She’d seen a cringe video about it, but didn’t remember much.

    “Wow.”

    “Too much? I told you, I can drop it.”

    “Oh, you can drop it, but you haven’t yet?” Sarita said, sticking her tongue out at Astra. It was playing into the whole brat thing from before, but she couldn’t help herself.

    Astra smirked. “Now you’re a brat on purpose. It’s too bad we don’t have a relationship that lets me swat your butt for that.”

    Oh! That was a sexy thing to say. Sarita fidgeted, trying to find a place to put her hands on Astra and pulling them back at the last moment.

    “Is that part of the – ABDL stuff?”

    “Often. If the people playing want it to be.”

    “I like being spanked.” Sarita said, feeling her blush burn all the way to her neck.

    “I’m sure you’re naughty enough to earn it a lot of the time.” Astra said, her cheeks coloring as well. “Maybe we should get walking, before I get too handsy.”

    Maybe you should bend me over that park bench and slap my butt. Sarita took a step away from Astra. “Good idea.”

    A few minutes of quiet walking brought them to the rose garden. The flowers were in full bloom, though only the white ones had much fragrance. Sarita caught herself with her hands clasped behind her back. It was another submissive mannerism, but she couldn’t make herself stop.

    “I have so many questions.” Sarita said.

    “I bet you do. I’ll answer anything you want now, or you could ask me over text if it’s more comfortable than face to face.”

    “Is it uncomfortable for you?”

    “No, I’ve been in the scene for a while.”

    “I want to know now then, please.”

    “Okay. Then ask me a question, silly girl.”

    “Is it really sexy? The diapers?”

    “Depends on the person. It is for me, seeing a girl in them.”

    “I’m not trying to be offensive but it’s not like, about actual babies, right?”

    “It is not. I’m only interested in adult women. If they want to pretend to be Little Girls, that’s a bonus.”

    “And people – use the diapers?”

    “They do. Most people only wet them.”

    “Oh.”

    Sarita wandered the path, eyes blind to the gorgeous flower bushes surrounding her. She kicked a rock off the path and another.

    “Are you trying to ask what I find sexy about it?”

    “Yes.”

    “I like discipline play. Putting a girl in diapers is a fun punishment. I like all the cute accessories and the innocence of it. I like how it transforms a girl to put diapers on.”

    “So if we were dating – and doing this stuff – and we were in a scene – and I got in big trouble…”

    “You’d get a spanking, diapered, and put to bed early.”

    It was July, but Sarita’s nipples were standing out like it was January. It sounded really embarrassing, a really big submission scene. There was something missing from the scenario that she knew from BDSM, though.

    “But, is there sex? Or just – ageplay stuff? I’ve done BDSM stuff before and there was lots of stuff that wasn’t sex when we played, but we always did sexy stuff too.”

    “Lots of people incorporate sex into their ABDL play. There are some that don’t, like there are some BDSM people who don’t have sex as part of their kink. I enjoy kissing and – other things with Little Girls.”

    Sarita considered. It was true that there were some no-sex BDSMers, though they were rare. Spanked, diapered, and put to bed was hot but confusing. Spanked, screwed, diapered, and put to bed was much less confusing and more hot.

    Or maybe the screwing is supposed to come after the diapers? How would that work?

    “I see the gears turning in there.” Astra said, lightly brushing a stray lock of Sarita’s hair. “If you’re really interested, and not only curious, we could try a low-intensity bit of play so you could see it in person.”

    “You want to get me in a diaper.” Sarita teased.

    “You’re not wrong.” Astra said. “I’m trying to be good and show restraint. I’m surprised at how open you are to this. I thought for sure we’d be done with this topic after I told you what was behind that door.”

    Sarita kicked some more rocks. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t shut it down either. It wasn’t that she thought Astra would dump her. She didn’t seem like the type to blow somebody off as soon as they weren’t fun.

    Maybe it’s how new and weird it seems. I haven’t done anything like it, with anybody. It’d never remind me of Felisa, or anyone else.

    “I want to try it.” Sarita said.

    “Really?”

    “Really. When can we try it?”

    Astra blinked. “Um, technically we could right now, we’re not far from my apartment, but…”

    “Okay, let’s go.”

    “Are you sure? We’ve only spent a few hours together. You should at least make a safety call or something.”

    I don’t have anyone to safety call in this city anyway. Sarita shrugged. “You wouldn’t say that if you were a creeper. I don’t think Nohemi would be friends with you if you were one either. If it’s too sudden and you’re not up for it, that’s okay.”

    “No, that’s not the problem. Let’s get you to my apartment before you change your mind.” Astra said, grabbing Sarita’s hand with a laugh.

    Sarita giggled and followed along. “I’m tired of being cooped up. I want to do something crazy with you.”

    “You are a crazy girl for sure.”

    —–

    Astra’s apartment was in one of the nice buildings, overlooking the park. Sarita could tell it was a nice one not only by the location, but because the names on the intercom were updated and the mailroom was clean.

    The apartment itself was fancy, with tall ceilings and matching furniture. It was also really clean. Spotless, by Sarita’s standards. She was suddenly glad they had gone to Astra’s apartment instead of her own.

    “Your place is really nice!” Sarita said.

    “Thanks hon. Can I get you anything? Water, tea, juice, milk?”

    “Do you have coke?”

    “No, I don’t drink soda.”

    Sarita stared at Astra for a moment in disbelief. With a shrug, she said, “Um, juice please.”

    Astra brought Sarita a glass of apple juice, taking a kiss as her toll. The kiss left Sarita giggly as she sipped her juice. After disappearing down the hall for a few minutes, Astra was back with a square of folded plastic. She unfolded it, revealing the shape of an adult-sized pair of pullup panties. Unlike the dull incontinence pants in the grocery store, these had a bright giraffe design on them.

    “This is what one of the options looks like.” Astra said.

    Sarita reached for the pullup. It was oddly crinkly in her hands, light, but heavier than it looked. Realizing she might be wearing it in a moment, she blushed.

    “I’d put this on and then…?”

    “Normally I’d put it on you, but I don’t think we’re there yet, so you’re right, you’d put it on. Honestly that might be enough for your first time. If you wanted to play a little, I’d love to, but I thought I’d let you wear one first and see how you feel.”

    “Right. Um, where’s your bathroom?”

    With the bathroom door closed and locked behind her, Sarita was starting to feel like she was on a dare. It was weird to be in Astra’s bathroom, ready to put a diaper on. They hadn’t even touched each other’s boobs yet.

    I wanted anything but usual. Something I’ve never had before. Here goes!

    Sarita shucked her shoes, leggings, and after some hesitation, her panties. The pullup went on with a good fit. It was like the mother of all pads. She squirmed in it, trying to get used to all the padding and elastic. For an insane moment, she considered stepping out of the bathroom without putting her leggings back on.

    That’s too far. I’d freak Astra out. I’d freak me out too, right?

    Sarita pulled her leggings on over the pullup and eyed herself in the mirror. They fit fine, but it was clear she had something other than panties on underneath. There was more junk in her trunk and the leggings didn’t hug her butt like they had before.

    Back in the living room, Sarita smiled nervously at Astra. Her hands floated awkwardly at her sides, it didn’t feel like she had a good place to put them.

    “How does it feel?”

    “Weird. Bulky. Kind of embarrassing.”

    “Want me to take your mind off it by kissing you?”

    “Yes!”

    Sarita stepped into Astra’s arms happily. Kisses by the couch became kisses on the couch. They went from sitting next to each other to Astra reclining against the arm of the couch, Sarita half-lying on her.

    The pullup was forgotten by the time kisses moved on to proper make-outs. Astra’s breasts were more than a handful, even through her bra. On it’s own, that was enough to clear any other thoughts. Having her body stroked by Astra was a whole other level, especially when Astra’s hand dipped under Sarita’s blouse to stroke her back and waist.

    Sarita made a little whining, happy noise in her throat when those hands slid to the waistband of her leggings. She gasped when Astra slipped her fingers under the leggings’ waistband.

    “What’s this? You’re wearing a pullup?”

    Sarita froze, lips on Astra’s collarbone, as the situation came flooding back to her.

    “I mean, you seemed young, but you must be a pretty Little Girl if you’re still having accidents.”

    “I – I’m not – I don’t have accidents.” Sarita sputtered.

    “Then why are you wearing a pullup?”

    “Somebody – gave me one. Told me to – put it on.”

    “Oh, I see. You have somebody that puts you in pullups.”

    Sarita quivered. There was no collar on her neck, no cuffs on her wrists, but she felt her power slip away to Astra all the same.

    “It’s not like that, I don’t have to wear them.”

    “Don’t you?” Astra rolled to the side, pulling Sarita close so she wouldn’t roll off the couch. Despite the narrow space, she managed to pin one of Sarita’s shoulders to the couch. “I think you do. If you were MY girl, I’d put you in pullups to make sure.”

    “Make sure of what?” Sarita licked her lips, gazed deep into Astra’s eyes. They were honey-brown, shot with gold and blue.

    “That you don’t have accidents on my nice furniture. That you don’t misbehave.”

    Sarita blushed and squirmed. “Am I your girl – right now?”

    “Yes.”

    Astra kissed Sarita possessively. Sarita surrendered to it, to the other woman. She let Astra put her hands above her head, obediently keeping them there when Astra let go.

    “I have to check your pullup. You could already have had an accident, for all I know.”

    “What?”

    Sarita gulped as Astra pulled on her leggings. Thankfully, she only pulled them down partway, leaving the pullup on.

    “Still dry! Good girl. I’m proud of you.”

    Being praised for keeping her pants dry drove a blush all the way into the center of Sarita’s body. She squirmed, only to be pinned by Astra again.

    “Now we can get back to what we were doing.”

    Sarita nodded, closing her eyes happily as Astra came in for a kiss. They spent a long, sweaty time on the couch. By the end of it, Sarita had some occasion to appreciate the pullup. She’d have had a wet spot on her leggings without it.

    “We need to stop.” Astra said huskily. “I don’t think we should go any further – right now.”

    “I think so too.” Sarita said, nuzzling Astra’s shoulder.

    As soon as they pulled away, Sarita was glad for the break. She’d been losing herself in the other woman a little. If Astra had pressured her, she could easily imagine going all the way, right there on the couch. It would have made her feel a little disposable. They already had the nitrous in, going from the park to Astra’s apartment.

    “Are you feeling okay? It wasn’t too much?”

    “No, but I’m glad we took a break.” Sarita said.

    “I meant the pullup.” Astra said, giggling.

    “Oh. Yeah that was – intense.”

    “Good intense?”

    Sarita nodded. “I’d wear it for you again – if you want.”

    “I was thinking of sending you home in it.”

    Sarita blushed. “I don’t think I can…”

    “It’s okay, you don’t have to.” Astra said. “But I could send it home with you. Text you later and tell you to put it back on.”

    Sarita giggled. “I’d do it, if you told me to.”

    “I’ll put it in a little bag for you so nobody will see.”

    “We’re not going too fast are we? I know I accelerated things. I’m sorry if you wanted a more chill date.”

    “I love what we did. I didn’t expect in a million years you’d jump into this so fast. I think you’re really brave, and I’m grateful.”

    “Okay.” Sarita smiled. “I should get back so I can feed my cat.”

    “Send me a pic of your cat!” Astra said gleefully. “I’ll send you back that order.”

    “You’re terrible.” Sarita said, giggling as she fled to the bathroom.

    It was strangely odd to be back in her panties, kissing Astra goodbye. She felt nearly naked, somehow. It was a weird naughty feeling, to go with the similar feeling of carrying a pullup in a paper bag.

    The long walk back to her apartment cleared the horny clouds from her brain, leaving Sarita with the warm glow of a new relationship. She endured Nero’s accusations of abandonment gleefully, feeding him and sending the promised picture.

    Sarita changed back into the pullup when Astra ordered her to, snapping a quick picture of her padded hips to send to her new – girlfriend? Fling? Whatever Astra was, Sarita was nice and warm in her pullup as they slung flirty texts back and forth.

    As the evening wore on, Sarita managed to reconnect with Nohemi too. It felt so good to be texting friends that she didn’t feel like turning on the TV at all. Though Astra hadn’t demanded it, she kept the pullup on all evening and wore it to bed. It was a weird, silly, sexy secret, as brand new as all the kisses and stomach butterflies.

    Having something to look forward to is going to make this weekend a lot easier to deal with.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 20

    The enormity of impending change on Sarita’s life left her listless on the floor until her phone rang. It was Astra, of course, with her unstoppable torrent of energy and plans. Sarita’s Angel bombarded her with excited ideas until Sarita couldn’t remember one of them.

    Not that it mattered if Sarita knew what the plans were. They were Astra’s plans, and Astra was the one executing them. Sarita pushed her natural stubbornness away when it rose in irritation at Astra. Despite her trapped feelings, Sarita was flooded with relief at Astra’s second rescue. Leaning into that feeling had Sarita calm by the time her Angel arrived.

    “Princess!” Astra threw her arms wide and grabbed Sarita as soon as the apartment door was open. Angel was downright giddy and beaming. After the energetic, exuberant kiss Astra planted on her, Sarita couldn’t help but smile.

    She looked her blonde-bombshell Angel over and focused on the obvious positives of her situation. I’m going to be in that gorgeous woman’s bed every night. She’s so happy to see me!

    “You seem kind of excited, Angel.” Sarita giggled.

    “Excited isn’t even the word.” Astra booted a bag into the apartment, shut the door with her hip, and backed Sarita up against the couch, kissing her all the way. “Maybe you should call me Mommy now, since it doesn’t bother you anymore.”

    “Uh – I could.” Sarita squirmed. “But I think of you as Angel, as my Angel. It’s like – your special name.”

    “Aww.” Astra smiled and stroked Sarita’s hair. “That is super sweet. I like that you have a special name for me. Could you call me Mommy just once though? Just so I can hear it?”

    “S-sure, Mommy.”

    Some tightness around Astra’s eyes smoothed out. Sarita hadn’t noticed it until her Angel relaxed. Is she really that insecure? No – that can’t be it. She got her feelings hurt at the Fairy, and she only needed me to say one word.

    “Oh Princess, thank you. Now, I know we really should be packing your things, but I want to celebrate. What do you say to starting our new life tonight?”

    “Whatever you want, Mommy.” Sarita smiled and shrugged. If Astra wanted to be in charge so much, it’d be a big load off Sarita to let her.

    “That’s my good baby.” Astra kissed Sarita one more time. “I have everything in my bag to get you transformed. It’s fate, you know? We’re perfect for each other. Even our favorite colors are the same.”

    Sarita looked over the olive colored dress her Angel was wearing. It was a great color – on Astra. “We have the same favorite colors?”

    “Of course! You’re always wearing sage-y colors, like the green shirt you have on now.”

    Sarita looked down at her shirt. Oh god. She thinks my shirt is green. This is a blue-shifted teal. It’s not in a sage palette, it’s like – Caribbean colors.

    Astra was already setting a dress out on the coffee table – Sarita didn’t see the point of arguing over colors. She imagined Astra loved going shopping, which would mean Sarita could pick colors as they bought things. Color matching is something I can do in our relationship!

    The dress Astra had out was far more restrained than Sarita had expected. It was cerulean blue, with a built-in white blouse that had transparent short sleeves. A kid’s dress for certain, but not out of the realm of what an adult might wear. The white tights that were to go with it pushed the look over the edge into Little, as did the hair bows that Astra was lining up next to the dress.

    It was a far cry from the onesie and bonnet Sarita had been dreading. I’ve been spending too much time with Pauline and Nohemi. I’m always thinking the worst of Astra, but she’s trying so hard!

    “Can I do everything for you? Undress and dress you?” Astra bounced on her tiptoes in front of the outfit she’d laid out. There was a big flower-print diaper with the outfit as well, of course, but the dress’ skirt had enough natural poof to conceal it.

    “I like it when you take me over.” Sarita realized how true that statement was after she said it. The balance between consent and boundary-pushing had always been a little off, but that didn’t mean Astra wasn’t fun. All they needed was to dial that balance in – and being mommied by her Angel would be heaven.

    Astra directed Sarita as much by touching or posing her as she did with verbal commands. Not being trusted to understand “put your arms up”, without an accompanying touch on her arms, made for a quick plunge into Littlespace.

    The thing about being Little with Astra, Sarita thought as her Angel stripped her, is that it’s a bit like drowning. The waters of her Little mindset came up to Sarita’s face fast, faster than with any other caregiver. They were warm waters though, comforting and supporting. If Sarita could manage the nervous bit where the water closed over her face, the rest was peaceful and dreamy.

    Under Astra’s gentle touch, seeing her face still glowing with excitement, Sarita took the plunge without fear. When she was naked on the floor and Astra told her to be a starfish, the infantile command brought giggles, not embarrassment. Having Astra brush out Sarita’s hair was a luxury that absolutely justified the childish hair bows.

    After pulling the tights up over her Little girl’s diaper, Astra posed Sarita in front of her mirror. Astra hadn’t been exaggerating to call the outfit a transformation. Sarita felt exuberantly cute in the dress and tights, and wished she’d put on makeup to complete the effect. Seeing herself so adorable and innocent put a happy glow in her chest. The beautiful lady in the mirror behind Sarita – with her very-truthful hips – didn’t hurt her mood either.

    “Wow. Angel – am I cute?”

    “You’re good enough to eat!”

    Sarita giggled. “But you just put a diaper on me.”

    “Dirty girl.” Astra smirked and lightly swatted Sarita’s butt. “I’m glad you like the outfit. This is the kind of thing I want to take you out in.”

    “Out like – where?”

    “Restaurants mostly. Also the park, a play, the store, wherever we go for fun. It’s not too obvious, and the long dress really hides your diaper. Skirts will be good for taking you out, so I can easily change you in a family restroom.”

    “Diapers all the time? Even when we’re in a store?” Sarita shivered. Astra wasn’t asking, but they were at least talking about things ahead of time. Surrendering so much to her buxom, blonde Angel was hot, which helped to keep Sarita’s anxiety down.

    “You said you wanted to be my baby princess full time. That’s what that means.”

    “I do but – Angel – I’ve never done something like this before.”

    “I will take care of you.” Astra knelt next to Sarita and took the diapered girl’s face in her hands. “Please trust me, Princess. I love you so much. I’ll take care of everything if you let me.”

    “I’m trying, and I like it. It’s scary too.”

    “It’s okay for baby girls to be scared. That’s what their mommies are for.” Astra sat back on the floor and pulled Sarita into her lap. “Tell Mommy what scares you.”

    “People finding out about my diapers.”

    “I won’t let that happen. The whole time we’re out somewhere, I’ll watch you and make sure your diaper doesn’t show. What else?”

    “What if – what if you don’t like me as a baby anymore?”

    “Never. You don’t understand – you’ll see after you live with me for a while. What we have is something I’ve wanted for years. This is my dream, Princess. You’re my dream.”

    The sweetness of her Angel’s words drove Sarita to tuck her head into the curve of Astra’s neck. “I don’t know if I can always be a good girl. I might get – frustrated sometimes.”

    “That’s what’s so beautiful about you being my Little girl. I’ll correct your behavior when you’re bad. We don’t have to have fights like other couples, or build up resentments. Naughty Little girls get punished and we move on.”

    What if she does something bad? Who fixes that? Sarita considered that while she snuggled with her Angel. There wasn’t a great answer, but Sarita kept running up against the reality that she didn’t have many choices. Not if she wanted to stay with her kitty.

    “Nero has to come with me, okay?”

    “Honey, of course! I wouldn’t make you give up your cat. Though – do you think he’ll get to like me better?”

    “He should. It’s just that he doesn’t know you well.” I hope he starts liking her – he’s usually friendlier to people by now.

    “Then we have plenty of time to get to know each other. Any other worries for my Princess that I can help with?”

    The big thing is what she’s planning for the Green Fairy… “Not really. Just remember what I said before, please. This is way more than anything I’ve done.”

    “I’ve got you. Tell me when you get scared, and I’ll fix it. I promise.” Astra kissed Sarita on the top of her head. “Getting your stuff to my apartment will be easy. It’s a small place, it’ll fit in a little U-Haul. We can put your furniture in my storage unit until we can get it donated.”

    “Can I keep one thing?”

    “Sure honey, what do you want to keep?”

    “I don’t know – I just want one thing that’s from me in your – in our apartment.”

    “It can be more than one. We’ll talk about it when we get everything moved.” Astra patted Sarita on the head.

    “Though while we’re talking about things to get rid of, we can throw your panties away! You won’t need those anymore.” Astra’s lighthearted chuckle at that came with a weirdly satisfied smile.

    That sounds so final. What if I need to do something where I can’t wear diapers? “You wouldn’t want to see me in them sometimes, at least to take them off?”

    “You’re sexy in diapers, Princess.” Astra patted Sarita’s butt and guided the Little girl off her lap. “Speaking of packing, do you think you can get things packed up on your own if I drop off some boxes and tape for you? I don’t know what your work schedule looks like.”

    Here we go. She’s going to find out sooner or later. “That’s not going to be a problem. I uh – I got – Britt didn’t schedule me for the whole week. She’s probably not going to schedule me any more – ever.”

    “Oh sweetie, that’s awful of her!” Astra took Sarita’s hands and squeezed them. “I’m sorry that happened, but it’s perfect timing for us. I know you hated that job, and you don’t have to worry about working with my salary and bonuses.”

    “I can get another job soon, I’ve always worked.” It’d be nice to not have to work, but scary to not have my own money.

    “Babies don’t work. You don’t want to get another job you hate, do you? I meant everything when I said I’d take care of you, diapers to dollars.”

    “O-okay.” She’s not listening. I’ll try again later. It’s not like she’d lock me in her apartment.

    Astra wiped tears away from her eyes. “You’re my dream come true. I still can’t believe it. Let’s go somewhere delicious and celebrate.”

    I haven’t been to a nice restaurant in ages, Sarita thought, wistfully. Though I bet she won’t let me order a cocktail. Maybe I can get a mocktail.

    “Okay Angel. Can I order a virgin Shirley Temple?”

    “So precious!” Astra put her hand to her mouth in delight. “Of course you can. Nothing’s too good for my princess. We’re going to get appetizers, delicious food, dessert, and all the Shirley Temples you can drink.”

    “Yay!” Despite how vague their conversation had been, Sarita felt like she’d managed to discuss a few things at least. With most of her fears addressed – or at least brought up for later – Sarita was free to feel the euphoria of being rescued from a total disaster. Grinning at her Angel, Sarita spun around until her skirt flared out.

    “I love seeing you happy, Princess. Though I might regret my promise about all the drinks. Good thing I’ve got a diaper bag that holds plenty of diapers for a night out.” Winking, Astra took Sarita’s hand and lead her out the door.

    It was weird to leave the house without a purse or wallet. The strangeness compounded when Astra took Sarita’s keys and put them in her own purse. Being diapered in public – with Astra leading her by the hand – finished the job that Astra had started when she’d diapered Sarita.

    The Little girl’s world narrowed to nothing but her Angel and their immediate surroundings. Bills, jobs, apartments, even bathroom breaks were none of Sarita’s concern. Her biggest worries were deciding which desserts would be the tastiest, and if she could convince Astra to order her more than one of them.

    In fact, Sarita was so Little she forgot to pay attention to the name of the restaurant. The décor marked it as one of Ardenthill’s interchangeable Italian bistros. Sarita therefore had an agonizing choice over lasagna or spaghetti. Angel suggested splitting the difference with the children’s baked spaghetti, which was perfect.

    The restaurant was too fancy to have mozzarella sticks on the menu, but the bruschetta was so tasty that Sarita couldn’t complain about it – even at her most Little. True to her word, Astra told their waitress to bring Sarita an endless supply of Shirley Temples. Halfway through her baked spaghetti – when Astra was teasing Sarita about needing a bib – Sarita used her diaper without remembering where she was.

    Something in her blush or expression must have alerted Astra, because Sarita’s Angel whispered a question about having an accident a mere minute later. Sarita nodded as subtly as she could. Astra’s discretion so far had not prepared Sarita for her Angel’s next move, which was flagging down their waitress.

    Astra seemed not to notice Sarita’s eyes widening in panic as she caught the server’s attention. “Excuse me, does the restaurant have a disability or family restroom?”

    “Of course. It’s down the hall past the bar, take the first right. It’s not next to the regular restrooms, so it should be nice and clean. Please let any staff member know if you need help.”

    “That’s so kind of you, but we don’t need any tonight.” Astra stood and held her hand out to Sarita. The waitress was already fast-walking to her next table. Nobody was looking at them. Hesitantly, Sarita rose and took her Angel’s hand.

    Though most restaurants in Ardenthill had a family restroom – even fast-food places – Sarita had never been in such a nice one. There was plenty of space, everything was spotless, and the fixtures were fancy. It had a changing table too, which seemed suspiciously sturdy considering what Sarita now knew about all the ABDL people in town.

    “Hop up Princess.” Astra swung the changing table down from the wall and patted the plastic top.

    Sarita climbed onto the changing table with some trepidation, until she realized it wasn’t giving under her weight in the slightest. As she settled back on the changing table she judged it would be able to handle a large man if necessary. That was even more suspicious, but a mystery for another time.

    “This is our first diaper change out in public, and my first as your Mommy.” Astra smiled and peeled Sarita’s tights off. “We’re going to have lots of firsts together.”

    “Mommy what if – if I have to go number two?”

    “I don’t expect you to do that in your diapers right away, don’t worry. ” Astra popped the tapes on Sarita’s diaper and slid it out from under her butt. “But don’t worry, Mommy will still take care of you. Let me know when you have to go and I’ll escort you to the bathroom.”

    Not right away – but eventually she’ll expect it? Well, if it’s not right away we don’t have to talk about it now. Sarita held her feet at Astra’s direction as her Angel wiped her down and put her in a fresh diaper. Between the diaper change and standing obediently by Astra as she wiped down the changing table, Sarita was back to the depths of her Little mind.

    The rest of the dinner was a blur in her memory, other than there had been a delicious lemon chocolate cake. Afterwards, they went to Astra’s apartment – soon to be known as home. Sarita’s Angel wasted no time getting her out of her marinara-speckled dress and into a one piece pajama.

    Angel had an early morning coming up and Sarita was wiped out from the chaos Britt had made of her day and her life. Before the summer sun had set, Sarita was tucked into Astra’s big spoon. The world faded away.

    ~~~~*~~~~

    Sarita woke with a start in darkness. The blackout curtains over Astra’s bedroom window plunged the room into much deeper dark than Sarita was used to sleeping in. Her heart was racing – she was whimpering. Something had been chasing her, and her teeth had been falling out.

    Though she was awake enough to identify the terrifying images as a dream, she was too sleepy to shake the feeling of being chased. With the room so dark, a monster could be right in front of Sarita and she wouldn’t see it.

    Nothing’s chasing me, it’s just a dream. Before Sarita could believe herself, the creature grabbed her from behind. She shrieked and sat bolt upright, sliding across the bed. Her hand scrabbled across the bedside table, sending her phone clattering to the hardwood floor.

    “Wha?” Astra sat up and groped sleepily for Sarita. It was the same hand. Sarita gave a massive sigh of relief, though her heart was still pounding almost out of her chest.

    “Sorry – bad dream.” Sarita panted.

    “It’s okay Princess.” Astra yawned, and pulled Sarita properly onto the bed. “Mommy’s here.”

    “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

    “You’re not in trouble. Goodness, Princess, your heart is racing. You were terrified, weren’t you?”

    “Something was chasing me – and I thought it grabbed me.”

    “Your Angel will fix it. Wait here, Princess.”

    Astra kissed Sarita’s cheek and climbed out of bed. A soft light glowed to life on a wall by the floor. That would have been nice to have when I woke up. Is that stupid? Do I need a nightlight? I bet Astra would let me have one for tonight at least.

    Astra returned with a small, clear plastic cup in her hand. It was half full of a medicinally-red liquid. “Here you go, Princess. Drink this down.”

    “What is it?” Sarita took the cup hesitantly.

    “It’ll help you sleep. Be a good girl and drink it all.”

    After another long, uncertain moment, Sarita downed the cup’s contents. The specific flavor of cloying cherry taste took a moment to identify. It’s Benadryl. Brand name even.

    “Uh, Mommy, is there a way to keep that light on when we’re in bed?”

    “Do you need a night-light, baby girl?”

    “It’s just that my bedroom has a streetlight right outside the window – so when I woke up it was really dark and…”

    “I think it’s precious that you want a nightlight, you don’t have to be embarrassed around your mommy. Of course we can have it on.” Astra patted Sarita’s cheek and went back to the wall to flick a switch. “There you go, Princess. We’ll pick you out a pretty nightlight at the store tomorrow. And a bigger one too for when we get your crib set up.”

    “Uh – thanks.” Sarita sighed and snuggled back into Astra’s arms. She vaguely remembered something about a crib in the spare room from the first time Astra had brought up keeping Sarita as a full time Little – but that was a joke, or for a special scene, surely.

    “This is a big transition for you, but I know you’ll love it when you get used to it.” Astra stroked Sarita’s belly through her pajamas. “All you have to do is let go and let Mommy handle everything. If you’re scared, I’ll fix it. Same if you’re hungry, tired, hurt, or wet. You’re my Princess forever.”

    Forever? We didn’t talk about forever. Sarita yawned. The medicine was working fast on top of interrupted sleep. There was no time to process Astra’s words before Sarita fell asleep.

    ~~~~*~~~~

    When morning came, Sarita was wet and Astra was delighted. It’d been a small accident only, and to be blamed on the medicine Astra had given her. Or so Sarita tried to assure herself, while she filled her diaper with the rest of her morning pee. The mere hint that Sarita might become a bedwetter had Astra over the moon during Sarita’s morning diaper change.

    It was far too early to argue with Astra about anything, especially with the lingering effects of the sleep meds making Sarita sluggish. It must have been the maximum strength nighttime version or a double dose.

    The morning’s diaper change, breakfast, and dressing Sarita in her Little outfit were all accomplished with Sarita in a sleepy daze. Being walked up to her apartment by Astra as a stop on Astra’s way to work felt a bit like being sent to daycare.

    “You go ahead and nap. I’ll be by at lunchtime with packing supplies and to change your diaper. You’ve got a booster in there, so you shouldn’t need a change until then. Call me if you need anything, Princess.” Astra kissed Sarita on the forehead. “If I don’t answer it’s because I’m in a meeting or on the phone. I’ll call right back.”

    “Okay. Uh, have a good day at work, Angel.”

    “I will darling, as much as I can. I’m going to miss you every minute.” Astra kissed Sarita again, on the cheek, and was out the door.

    Sarita watched the closed door for a while, touching her cheek. Slowly, it dawned on her that Astra’s kisses had gotten more motherly and less passionate as the previous night had gone on. Am I even her girlfriend anymore? Is a baby all I am now?

    Sitting on the couch, Sarita could feel the thick padding under her butt despite the deep squish of the couch cushions. She looked around her apartment, and found herself taking a mental inventory. It was a sad thought, part of saying goodbye to the cranky old apartment she’d come to love.

    It’s cheap and nothing works – but its mine. Or it was, anyway. Will Astra even let me get a job? Is she planning to give me an allowance or something instead? How would that work if we broke up?

    Feeling suddenly sick to her stomach, Sarita flopped down on the couch. A nap sounded safer than questions that had no good answers. For the moment at least, she put herself in her Angel’s hands and pretended her problems didn’t exist.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 21

    Midday came with the apartment door banging open. Sarita looked up blearily from the couch and realized that Astra must have a key to her apartment. She couldn’t remember if she’d given Astra a key or not, but it didn’t matter. Astra having her own key meant that Sarita didn’t have to get up off the couch.

    After cooing over Sarita napping like a cute baby on the couch, Astra was a whirlwind of activity. She changed Sarita into a nighttime diaper with a booster pad and disappeared to the kitchen to make lunch. Sarita was content to be totally passive throughout, letting Astra feed her by hand.

    With lunch done, Astra snatched a few bites of food for herself, checked Nero’s dishes, and bagged up a load of laundry. Before she was out the door, she showered Sarita in kisses, lamenting that she was going to have to work late. Three times, Astra promised to be back the moment she was done working. Then she was gone, like a momentous comet.

    An hour later – as the energy from her lunch kicked in – Sarita sighed and stirred from the couch. There was a stack of packing material by the door, plenty of boxes, a tape gun, and pre-printed colored stickers that said “Kitchen”, “Bedroom”, “Storage”, and so on.

    Despite her leaden limbs, Sarita assembled a box and filled it with books. She had three boxes of books done when a knock came at the door. Stupidly, she stared at the door, wondering why Astra didn’t just walk in again.

    “Come in!”

    “Uh – I can’t.” It was Nohemi’s voice. Sarita smacked her forehead to clear her stupor and rushed over to open the door.

    “Hey Mimi. Come in – but for real now.”

    Nohemi smiled awkwardly and entered. She was dressed in her snappy masc-gear, looking just as sharp as last time in a vest and pinstriped slacks. “Thanks. I wanted to talk about what happened last night at the Fairy. I’m uh – I didn’t do it right.”

    “Oh, sure.” Sarita smiled encouragingly and waddled over to her couch to take a seat.

    “You’re really babied up.” Nohemi caught sight of the boxes and frowned. “Are you moving?”

    “It’s a whole thing.” Sarita sighed. “We can talk about last night if you want.”

    “Is that okay?” Nohemi wrung her hands. “You seem off. Sarita, I want to be your – good friend. When I’m emotional, it’s hard for me to express what I’m thinking. Like last night at the Fairy – I couldn’t say anything. I knew it was wrong to walk away, but I didn’t have any other options.”

    “I wish you’d stayed – even if you went away from the conversation. Hiding is something I get though. Sometimes I just – can’t.”

    “I’ve had so many conversations with Astra. She talks too fast, and so confidently. I can’t keep up. Emotions are hard, I have to think about what I’m saying to make sure that I’m saying the what I mean.” Nohemi paced in front of the apartment door. “Astra never gives me that time. So I left.”

    “Yeah… she doesn’t have a slow gear.” Sarita smiled wryly.

    “Is that why you’re babied up? Does she want you like this on your days off?” Nohemi took a deep breath. “Wait, sorry, I take that back. I didn’t come her to grill you about her – like the other time.”

    Sarita shrugged. Words strained against her chest and throat, but she couldn’t make them come out. What if Astra doesn’t let me see Mimi anymore? Or if Mimi doesn’t want to see me because I’m living with Astra? Am I going to lose everybody?

    “Did I say something wrong? Please don’t be mad. I’m trying to figure out how to say…” Nohemi stopped her pacing in front of the boxes and stared at them. Slowly, she turned her gaze to Sarita. “Are you moving in with Astra?”

    “Y-yes,” Sarita whimpered. “Don’t be mad, please.”

    “I’m not mad, I’m confused.” Nohemi rubbed the back of her neck. “Stop me if I’m saying something I shouldn’t but – you looked so cute with Pauline. Whenever I see you with Astra, you look stressed.”

    “Ha-ha.” Sarita felt her laugh come out strained and scary. “Well, it’s a whole thing, like I said.”

    “Can you explain?” Nohemi knitted her brows in worry. “If that’s okay.”

    “I don’t know it’s…” It’s a reason I’m ashamed of. I’m scared. Mimi’s going to think I’m a stupid failure, or get mad at me for letting Astra do whatever she wants. The silence stretched out, with Sarita watching Nohemi’s expression become progressively more distressed.

    “It’s none of my business. I should have said congratulations.” Nohemi smiled hesitantly. “I’m sorry, you’ve got good news and you’re worried I’m going to be upset. I’m glad you’re so happy with Astra.”

    “Happy.” Sarita cast her eyes down, watching her hands tremble in her lap. Her poofy lap, with childish tights straining against the bulk of padding that Astra had put her in. “I uh – yeah, it’s great. Astra’s over the moon, it’s her dream come true. I’m going to be a full-time baby girl.”

    “Is that what you want?” Nohemi leaned on the couch arm. “You don’t look happy.”

    “It’s a big thing, is all.” Sarita wiped at her eyes. “Moving is stressful – you know. It’s a little scary but I’ll make it work. I don’t really have a choice.”

    “What does that mean? Sarita – please, what’s going on?”

    Sarita stared at Nohemi. For a moment, she thought she could hold firm – could keep her problems from crashing on Nohemi. All at once, her façade crumbled. “I lost my job. Astra’s saving me.”

    Nohemi’s eyes went wide and Sarita rushed to reassure her friend. “She knows I’m broke, I didn’t trick her! Astra is good at taking care of people, she really wants to do this. I – I’ll get used to being a baby girl. I like it a lot sometimes. It can be fun all the time too, I’m sure. She loves me. I lo – lo – she’s my Angel.”

    “You’re doing this because you need a place to live?” Nohemi’s condescending disbelief was heartbreaking.

    “Have you ever been homeless?” Sarita balled up her fists, feeling rage well up inside her. “Well I have! I was homeless for two weeks and it was terrifying! I wasn’t even on the street. I can’t – the street swallows people up. I had a friend who was living on the street and one day she was just – gone.”

    “You don’t have to be homeless.” Nohemi frowned.

    “Who’s going to pay my rent, you?” Sarita slammed her fist into her couch in frustration. “Even if you could, that’s not fair.”

    “I mean, it’s your decision…” Nohemi straightened up, biting her lip. She wrapped her arms around herself, watching Sarita cautiously.

    Sarita glared back, daring Nohemi to explain away all her problems, like Sarita was going to be able to magically fix everything in her life. The whole point is that I suck and I can’t make it on my own! Astra’s better than lots of people I could end up with.

    “Look, I don’t want to get into a fight, I…” Nohemi’s frown hardened, she shook her head. “But if you want to fight, I will. This isn’t okay.”

    “Why, because it’s not how YOU would do it?”

    “Because you don’t want this! I’m not great at reading people’s emotions but yours are clear! You don’t want to be Astra’s full time baby and I don’t blame you!” Nohemi shuddered and tugged at her hair. “Sarita, what happens if you break up? Then you’ll really be out on the street.”

    “That’s why I can’t break up!” Sarita shouted. “I’ll do what she says, and be a good baby girl, and it’ll be fine!”

    “NO.” Nohemi set her jaw and stepped forward. “That’s not fine. That’s not right, and I won’t let you do it unless there’s no other way.”

    “There IS no other way! My dad is in Mexico, I can’t get there without Nero dying in an airplane cargo compartment. Dad can’t pay my rent either. I can’t ask Pauline to take me in, if that’s what you want. Am I supposed to guilt trip her into letting me move in?” Sarita sobbed and pressed her palms against her eyes until she saw stars. “There’s nobody else!”

    “There’s me.” Nohemi spoke confidently into the echo left by Sarita’s shout. “There’s Pauline, Tanner, and Oriana. Nieves and Paul count too. You have Ineis at The Pony.”

    “I can’t ask you to save me! Astra already wanted to do it!”

    “You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

    “But Pauline and Tanner and – and everybody aren’t.” Sarita whimpered, breaking into a fresh round of sobs.

    “You’re about to be surprised.” Nohemi kneeled down next to Sarita on the couch. “Please let me find you some options. Please, Sarita. I can’t bear for you to be so sad – to stay in a relationship that hurts you. I care about you too much.”

    “It’s too late. I already arranged everything with Astra.”

    “My mom used to say that it’s never too late until we’re dead.” Nohemi put her hand on Sarita’s leg. “Let me try, please. If I can’t find you another option, I’ll help you pack to move in with Astra.”

    “Really?” Sarita blinked away tears in confusion.

    “Really. I promise.” Nohemi put her hand over her heart, like the over-serious dork she was. Sarita laughed through her sobs and nodded.

    “Okay. Wh-what would you do?”

    “The first thing is, you said you lost your job. Did you quit, or were you fired?”

    “Neither.” Sarita sniffled. “Britt took me off the schedule, but she says I might get hours next week.”

    “If she cut you off for a whole week, you can file for unemployment.” Nohemi nodded fervently at Sarita’s confused look. “The state counts it the same as firing.”

    “Oh.”

    “Unemployment takes a while, do you have any savings?”

    “Um – I made some tips at the Fairy but they probably aren’t enough.”

    “You made the Munch group a huge amount of money. Tanner was gushing about it. Part of the Munch money is an emergency fund for members. You wouldn’t be the first ABDL to suddenly have housing problems.”

    “I can’t just – just…”

    “Tanner manages the fund, it’s up to him. I’m going to call him. About the fund and another thing too.”

    “Mimi – why?” Sarita sniffled. “Why are you trying so hard with me?”

    “I love you, Sarita.” Before Sarita’s world could turn upside down, Nohemi ruffled her hair. Oh, like a little sister. That makes sense. For a minute I thought Nohemi was really in love with me.

    “You have a lot of people that care about you, even if you don’t realize it. Give me a chance to mobilize the troops, okay?”

    “Okay. Thanks Mimi.”

    “Of course, tonta.” Nohemi took a seat on the couch and patted Sarita’s feet. “How long do we have until Astra comes back?”

    “I don’t know. She said she had to work late and apologized a bunch. There wasn’t a time mentioned.”

    “We have until pretty late then.” Nohemi smiled and pulled out her phone. “That’s good. Before I start calling people, I want to let you know that I’m not taking over, I’m not going to fix this for you.”

    “You – you’re not?” Sarita’s belly flip flopped. Then what was that whole speech about?

    “No. I’m going to give you a second choice. You get to pick which one you do.”

    “Oh.” Sarita smiled weakly. Please don’t do that again Mimi, my heart can’t take it. “I get it. Thank you.”

    Nohemi squeezed Sarita’s leg and dialed one of her contacts. “Hey Tanner, it’s Nohemi. Yeah, I know. I’m sorry I don’t call more, but this is an emergency. I need to talk to you about the Munch’s member support fund, and I’m calling in the favor you owe me.”

    Favor? What favor? Damn it Mimi, what are you doing? Sarita listened to Nohemi’s half of the phone conversation, her jaw dropping when Mimi asked Tanner if he knew anyone who was hiring. Her attempt to protest was shut down by Nohemi’s open palm in her face.

    Oh, very mature Mimi. “Talk to the hand”? What is this, grade school? The irony of Sarita complaining about Nohemi’s maturity while she was thickly diapered sank in painfully. Sarita waddled off to check on Nero while Nohemi wrapped up her conversation with Tanner and rang Oriana.

    Nero had gone into full hiding mode under the bed. No matter what Sarita did, coaxing him with treats, telling him that Nohemi was visiting, or grabbing for him – she couldn’t get Nero out of the corner he’d backed himself into. Rolling her eyes at her cat, Sarita wandered back to the bedroom.

    “There you are.” Nohemi shoved her phone in her pocket. “Tanner was impressed with your decorating job, he said the colors were really good. I mentioned that you do graphic design sometimes, and he asked if you had any samples. Do you?”

    “Uh – I have some mock-ups I made once when I was putting a portfolio together.” Sarita sighed. “I never finished the portfolio though.”

    “Can you send Tanner whatever you have? I’ll text you his email.”

    “Sure.” Pulling up the old designs was agonizing. Every mistake and janky choice stood out like it was outlined in fluorescent orange. Sarita swallowed her artistic pride and sent the images off to Tanner. “What now?”

    “Oriana and Nieves are on their way to pick up Paul, then they’ll come here. Tanner will join us when he can, but he’s at work.” Nohemi hesitated. “I didn’t call Pauline. I will, if you need me to, but I think you should call her.”

    “I can’t.” Sarita whimpered. “I’ve been so awful to her. I was going to ditch her – again!”

    “You were scared. Nothing permanent has happened yet. I know she cares about you. Do you care about her?”

    “I love her,” Sarita whispered, shamefacedly.

    “Then she needs to be here.”

    “Can I text her, instead of calling?”

    Nohemi chuckled. “Yes.”

    Sarita nodded and searched the living room until she found her phone. The message she sent was as short as she could manage without freaking Pauline out – she hoped. “Pauline – Something bad happened and I’m freaking out. Mimi is helping me but if you can, I want you here. If you can’t, it’s okay.”

    Pauline’s reply was almost instant. “I’m on my way.”

    “She’s coming – she didn’t even ask what’s going on.” Sarita felt tears dribble down her cheeks. It felt like she’d never done anything but cry.

    “Of course she is, and of course she didn’t.” Nohemi squeezed Sarita in a crushing hug. “Is it that hard to believe that people care about you, pequeñita?”

    “I’m a screw-up. People get sick of it.”

    “No, you’re a Sarita.” Nohemi squeezed Sarita again and sat her on the couch. “You can really hurt yourself by saying you are something bad. Don’t stick a bad noun to yourself. Realize that you did a bad verb, but that it isn’t you.”

    “What?”

    “You’re not a screw-up. You might have screwed something up, but failing doesn’t make you a failure.” Nohemi shrugged. “It’s a thing my therapist told me. She helped me see that I was putting a lot of bad stuff on myself that didn’t belong there.”

    Sarita looked down and chewed over Nohemi’s words. Her past stretched out before her, full of failures and mistakes. What would it be like if those were just things I did, instead of who I am? Though she didn’t have enough time to process a grand revelation, Sarita felt a bloom of hope.

    “Thanks Mimi.”

    “I hope it helps. I’m not good with wise words, but I can remember what people said that helped me.”

    Sarita had enough energy left to smile and nod gratefully at Nohemi. They sat quietly until the next knock on the door. Oriana, Nieves, and Paul entered with noisy concern. Their first order of business was to envelop Sarita in a four-way-hug, upgrading it to five-way when Oriana ordered Nohemi to join.

    The hug gave Sarita the courage to tell her friends an abbreviated version of what was happening. To her relief, they didn’t interrogate her about her baby outfit, or where she’d been planning to move. Hearing that she’d lost her job and didn’t have rent money was enough to energize them into an outpouring of support.

    “Tanner will totally give you some money.” Paul took a seat on the floor next to Sarita. She was surprised to hear loud crinkles accompany his movements. “You made so much with the diapers, more than ever before.”

    “But that’s for the Munch.” Sarita looked Paul over carefully and was amused to see what she’d thought was his shirt was actually a onesie who’s bottom was covered by Paul’s baggy jeans.

    “I’m sure the next time people will still be hyped to buy your stuff. The hype might not last past the next time, but you already did a lot.” Paul nodded. “Don’t blow me off just because I’m Little. Tanner and I talk about how the Munch money gets handled.”

    “If you can’t keep this place, you can crash our couch for at least two weeks.” Oriana sat on the couch, squeezing herself between Nohemi and Sarita. Things got really crowded when Nieves took a seat on Oriana’s lap.

    “I can make the same offer.” Nohemi peeked over Oriana and smiled encouragingly.

    “You guys…” Sarita sniffled.

    “No more crying!” Paul bumped his head against Sarita’s arm and wormed his way into a snuggle. “You already cried a lot today. I’m sure you’ll be okay with the Munch money, and a month of places to crash.”

    Paul’s words were sounding temptingly true. Hesitantly, Sarita let herself believe that something good was going to happen. The positive omens were confirmed when Nero came out from hiding and crawled over all her friends, ending his tour in Nohemi’s lap.

    “Pspspsps!” Paul waved his hand urgently at Nero. The little black emperor ignored him and curled up on Nohemi’s lap, tucking his tail over his nose.

    “Let him be. He’ll come to you when he thinks you don’t want him.” Sarita chuckled.

    “But I do want him.” Paul pouted fussily.

    “You’ll have to pretend. Haven’t you ever had a cat bef…” Sarita jumped at the loud knocking sound from her door. Before anyone else could get up, she vaulted over the couch back and fast-waddled to the door.

    Sarita’s relief at seeing Pauline was so strong that she wet herself. There wasn’t time to worry about that reaction, especially with how well padded she was. She pulled Pauline into the apartment and hugged her desperately.

    “Hi there hon.” Pauline squeezed Sarita tightly. “What’s going on? The whole gang’s here.”

    “Can we talk – in my bedroom?” Sarita looked up at Pauline plaintively.

    “Of course.” Pauline followed Sarita to the bedroom with worried curiosity on her face.

    Sarita took a seat on the bed and patted a spot next to her. “My life is – melting down. I got fired or laid off or something today.”

    “Oh no, sweetie!” Pauline took her seat and squeezed Sarita’s hand. “What can I do to help?”

    “Wait – before you offer that, I have to tell you what I did.” I’m doing it, Mimi. This better work out, or I’m going to cry snot all over your pretty vest. Sarita watched Pauline nervously, but she didn’t seem upset, only concerned.

    “I panicked and – I told Astra that I’d be her full time baby girl.” Sarita trembled and closed her eyes. Rejection on Pauline’s face would be unbearable. “Please let me finish! I – I knew she’d take me in. Being homeless is so scary – I know a little bit about what it’s like. So I ran to her but – I don’t love her. I don’t like how she wants me to be only a baby. I love you.”

    “Why didn’t you ask me if you could move in?”

    “Because – because I didn’t want to ruin what we had – what we have.” Sarita sniffled. “I care about you too much to – to be that girl who moved in with her girlfriend and never had money for rent and was a lump in the living room and – and…”

    “I think I get it.” Pauline bonked her forehead against Sarita’s. “That’s sweet. Really, really stupid, but sweet.”

    “It’s too soon for us to move in together!”

    “I agree. But I would have tried to help somehow. What changed your mind?”

    “Um – Mimi told me I was being stupid and I yelled at her, and she didn’t go away even though she totally should have, and then I finally listened to her.”

    Pauline gently but firmly karate-chopped Sarita on the head. “You almost panicked yourself into a scary relationship trap.”

    “I know, and I feel awful. For you – and for Astra. She loves me – and it’s not like I don’t care about her.” Sarita flopped onto her side and wormed her head into Pauline’s lap. “Now I promised something to her that I don’t want to – that I can’t do, and she’s going to be really hurt.”

    “Yeah, she is.” Pauline sighed and stroked Sarita’s hair. “Are you going to be able to do the right thing when you talk to her? Maybe you can call her to make it easier.”

    “I don’t know. She’s um – coming here. Tonight. I’m not sure when.”

    “Are we being filmed? Is this a reality show about queer disasters?”

    “Don’t make fun!”

    “Sarita, I have to make a little bit of fun of you or I’ll bonk you again.”

    “You could spank me.”

    “First of all, not with our entire friend group out there. Second, no, because sexy play is not a substitute for talking stuff out.”

    “Not even in ABDL relationships?”

    “No hon, god no.”

    “Oh. Because that’s how Astra and I did stuff.”

    “What?”

    “If we had a fight – she’d spank me or put soap in my mouth or whatever, and that would fix it.”

    “That – did not fix it.” Pauline shook her head. “Did you ever talk to her about that?”

    “I tried once. I set boundaries and stuff but – she’s so strong.”

    “Sweetie, you are breaking my heart.”

    “Did I really break it?” Sarita scrunched her eyes closed, tensing like she would against a physical blow. “Are we – over?”

    “No, we aren’t.” Pauline sighed. “But we have a lot of conversations coming up about this. I can never feel safe with you. You always have one foot out the door.”

    Ouch. Sarita opened her eyes, looked up at Pauline and nodded. I deserved that. But – like Mimi said, I did a bad thing, but I’m not bad. Sarita wasn’t sure if she believed it, but she was only feeling regular guilty, not heartburn-inducing guilty. It was an improvement, at least.

    A soft knock at the bedroom door made both girls look up. “It’s Nohemi. I have Tanner on the phone for you, Sarita.”

    Gracias a dios that it’s not Astra. Yet. “Okay, coming.” Sarita took Nohemi’s phone from her with a mouthed thanks. “Hi, it’s Sarita.”

    “Hi Sarita, it’s Tanner. I sent your designs to a client of mine. She runs a graphic design studio and she really liked them.”

    “She did?”

    “Are you available for a job interview tomorrow?”

    “Uh – yeah, any time!”

    “Great. My client’s name is Colleen. Her studio is Ardent Graphic and Design. I’ll text you the address. Her preferred time is eleven tomorrow morning.”

    “I’ll be there. Thank you!”

    “You’re welcome. It’s no problem, she’s been looking for another designer for a while, but this isn’t a promise that you have a job. You have to pass the interview.”

    “I understand.” Sarita wiped her sleeve across her eyes. “It’s still a huge help.”

    “It’s really nothing. You can tell Nohemi I still owe her a favor. Did Paul talk to you about the Munch emergency fund?”

    “He did but…”

    “Good! Then I’ll let him handle that. There’s plenty of money in there. If you need to draw up to an entire month’s rent, you can. We can talk about paying the money back to the fund later, when you’re not worried about housing insecurity. You’ve contributed more than most members to the fund anyway.”

    “Tanner – thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

    “Me either, and I’m already late for a meeting with a client. I’m working late but I’ll come by to pick Paul up tonight, if you don’t mind him hanging around until then.”

    “Of course, he’s welcome to hang out.”

    “Great. I’ll talk to you later. Sorry for the short call, I wanted to let Colleen know about the interview right away. Bye.”

    “Bye.” Sarita stared at the phone in wonder.

    “Well?” Pauline was bouncing on the bed. Nohemi was still at the door, looking expectantly.

    “I have a job interview tomorrow at eleven.” Sarita felt like she was speaking underwater, in a dream. “At a graphic design studio – to be a designer.”

    “That’s amazing!” Pauline jumped off the bed and grabbed Sarita, spinning her around. Nohemi’s face flashed by in Sarita’s spinning vision, smiling happily.

    “I might not get it. It’s just an interview.” Sarita couldn’t stop smiling, despite her words.

    “You got a next-day interview. You have a chance at least.” Nohemi said firmly. There was a rumble of conversation outside the bedroom. Nohemi turned to look.

    “For real!” Pauline nodded.

    “Princess! What’s going on!” Astra’s voice came clearly across the apartment.

    With a bottomless pit in her stomach, Sarita disengaged from Pauline and pushed past Nohemi into the living room. She could have cut the awkwardness with a knife and served it like cake. There would have been more than enough awkward-cake for everyone. All her friends’ faces had strained expressions at seeing Astra the doorway with the key in her hand.

    “Angel.” Sarita felt the full force of Astra’s hurt, confused gaze. Her guilt squeezed her stomach and set her chest burning. “We have to talk.”

    “I think we do.” Astra blinked away tears. “Can we please – talk privately?”

    “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can.” Sarita winced at Astra’s incredulous look. “I have trouble saying what I need to say when we talk alone.”

    “That’s – that’s not fair! I ask you how you’re feeling! I’ve been doing my best. You – you called me! You asked me to be my baby girl, I didn’t push you into it.”

    “Astra.” Oriana’s voice was quiet, but she made it carry. “Please don’t yell. Sarita doesn’t do well with that. Nobody does, really.”

    “I’m sorry but I feel really ganged up on!” Astra’s voice had a strong note of panic in it, her hands were trembling. “There’s nobody on my side here. I came over expecting to help my Princess pack and – and I don’t even know what I walked into.”

    “It’s not fair – and it’s my fault.” Sarita sighed. “I guess – I guess we can talk in the bedroom. But please, Angel – let me talk and listen to me, like you did with the sugar packets.”

    “Of course, you know I’ll do anything for you.” Astra closed the apartment door and smiled pleadingly at Sarita. “I don’t know what happened, but I can fix this. Please don’t be mad, Princess, I can make this work.”

    Nohemi and Pauline sidled gingerly out of the bedroom. Sarita winced. Honestly, someone should be filming this. It would make great reality TV. As Astra strode forward, Sarita retreated to the bedroom.

    In the doorway, Nohemi caught Astra’s arm. “Don’t bully her.”

    Astra’s glare could have melted steel. There was explosive fury in her tone when she retorted, “I am going to fight for my love.”

    The last thing Sarita saw before the bedroom door closed was Nohemi’s worried frown. Then there was just her Angel, looming in front of her with a face full of hurt.

    “Princess, how could you do this to me? You didn’t text me to warn me what I was going to find when I came here. Do you know how hurtful that was?”

    Sarita closed her eyes, wincing. What am I going to say? There’s no way out of this that doesn’t end in screaming and tears – is there?

  • Getting Little: Chapter 22

    Astra grabbed a tissue from the decorative box on Sarita’s dresser and blew her nose. Astra bought those for me to pretty up the room. Or to make it more like her apartment. Sarita realized she could hardly recognize her apartment after all of Astra’s changes.

    Sarita’s brow furrowed as she stared up at Astra, aka, Sarita’s Angel. Their relationship had always been a roller coaster. She couldn’t remember a single date or day together that didn’t have some deeply uncomfortable moments. At the same time, the joys had been incredible.

    Now her Angel was staring at Sarita with real pain in her eyes. Sarita wasn’t ready to go back on her statement that she didn’t love Astra, but she was surprised by how much she cared that she was the cause of that pain. Guilt crumpled Sarita’s spine and sent her staggering back on the bed.

    Reflexively, Sarita wet herself. That was something that always made her Angel happy – but it won’t help this time. More than anything she wanted to cry, fall back on the bed, and let Astra change her diaper. Change her diaper, her life, her apartment, and take away every hard or expensive problem she had.

    The only problem with that fantasy is that it came with a leaden heart. Months or years of having her feelings minimized or ignored was what she had to look forward to as Astra’s baby. That, on top of being a baby to a degree that she wasn’t sure she could manage. Remembering Astra’s plans for a crib steeled Sarita’s resolve.

    “Princess, if you just sit there silently I can’t fix whatever’s…”

    “I’m sorry, Angel. I had to get my thoughts together.” Sarita sighed. “I’m sorry you came to the apartment like this. It wasn’t nice of me to not tell you. I – I thought you were coming later, because you had to work late.”

    “I did – I still do. I wanted to see you on my dinner break.”

    I’m the worst. The absolute worst. Sarita hung her head. “That’s so nice of you. You’ve been amazingly good to me, and I don’t always thank you like I should.”

    “I’m still going to be good to you. Princess, baby girl, I’m sure this can be fixed. Please, tell Mommy what’s the problem. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

    “That’s the problem…” Sarita braced herself for a storm. “A relationship isn’t a you thing. It has to be both of us fixing it, not just you.”

    “You want to be my baby girl. That means I take care of things for you. It’s not a regular relationship, but the diapers aren’t regular either.” Astra crouched down next to Sarita. “Princess, please, tell me what’s going on. Did Nohemi bully you into all this?”

    “Nohemi has never bullied me.” Sarita put a hand on Astra’s. “She gave me a choice. You – don’t give me enough choices. If I move in with you, you’ll take the ones I have left away.”

    “That’s what makes it so beautiful! No choices mean no worries. You can be happy every day, without a crease in that pretty forehead. It’s all for you, baby girl, it’s all about you.”

    “No.” Sarita shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “It’s all about you. What you want. That you’re the best mommy ever. I love it when you take care of me – but I don’t want no choices at all. I don’t want to be your baby girl.”

    Astra’s jaw dropped. Her face looked hollow, pained like Sarita had physically struck her. Weaving dangerously on her high heels, Astra stood and took a step back.

    “I’m sorry, I really am, Angel…”

    “Don’t call me that!” Astra pressed her hands over her heart. “Don’t call me that unless you mean it. If I’m your Angel – then you can say it. If not – say my name.”

    “Astra…” Sarita watched Astra fall apart before her eyes. The tall blonde fell to her knees, sobbing wretchedly.

    “This is it. You’re breaking up with me.” Astra looked desperately at Sarita through a mask of tears. “Why, Princess? Why? All I want is for us to be happy.”

    “I can’t do it the way you want. It’s too much.”

    “Then I’ll change it! Whatever you want! I’m sorry I didn’t do it right, but I’ll do it perfectly this time, I promise!” Astra lurched over to Sarita and grabbed her hands tightly. “Please! Please Princess. Give me another chance. I’ll be the perfect mommy, you’ll see.”

    “It’s not – Astra, I don’t want the perfect mommy, I want a girlfriend that I can be Little with but…”

    “I can do that! I was doing that, and you loved it. We had so much fun together. This is coming out of nowhere, I don’t understand. I did everything right!”

    Sarita shuddered, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I can’t – what if we did break up at some point? I’d be back where I am now, no job, no apartment, no money…”

    “I’ll put twenty thousand dollars in your account.” Astra squeezed Sarita’s hands. “That’ll fix it.”

    “Wha – what?”

    “You can leave the money there, you won’t need to pay for anything. I’ll be Mommy and you’ll be my Princess. We won’t break up – but if we did you’d be safe!”

    Sarita blinked her tears away. The room was spinning around her. Technically that would solve the money thing. I wouldn’t feel like I couldn’t break up with her.

    “Say yes and I’ll put the money in right now, before you ever move in, so you know it’s there.” Astra’s hopeful smile was heartbreaking. “See? I can fix it. You wouldn’t expect me to be able to do something like that, but I can. I’m a top saleswoman, I’m on the Green Fairy board, and I can be the most perfect mommy you’ll ever have.”

    Astra leaned up to kiss Sarita. Salty and anxious, the kiss was as awkward as it was comforting. “Just say yes, Princess. I can make it work no matter what the problem is, you see?”

    “It’s still not we.” Sarita shivered. She felt acid rising in her throat, there were sparkles in her vision. If she hadn’t already been sitting, leaning against Astra, she’d have been on the floor. “It’s always I. There’s no We when you talk. I’m not there – your princess could be any baby girl, and it wouldn’t matter.”

    “Of course it matters! You’re the perfect baby girl. I’ve never seen a girl take to diapers and being Little like you. You’re beautiful and adorable – a perfect Princess.”

    “No – I’m a Sarita.” Her limbs trembled like she was sitting in snow. “I’m sorry – Astra – I can’t be your Princess. This is – we have to – I don’t think we should see each other anymore as girlfriends or as Mommy and Little.”

    Astra stopped breathing. For a long moment – too long – she stared breathless at Sarita. Finally she gasped, coughed, and fell away from Sarita to sit on the floor. “Why? Why won’t anyone love me? I give everything. All I want is a Princess of my own. I really thought – Sarita you were the one. I love you.”

    “I’m so sorry. I should never have called you when I did. I was scared, I knew you’d protect me. Being your baby was something I thought I could do – until it was happening.”

    “I don’t know how much harder I can try.” Astra got clumsily to her feet, grabbing a handful of tissue and scrubbing at her face. “What more can I do? Please, Sarita, what did I do wrong?”

    “You didn’t let me be me.” Sarita said in a tiny voice. “I was supposed to go in the princess mold you already had – and I didn’t fit.”

    “I thought you fit.” Astra sobbed. “You’ve been upset about this for a while. I wish you’d told me earlier.”

    “I tried. Remember the sugar packets?” Sarita shook her head sadly. “They lasted one date, then you were back to deciding who I was.”

    “I suppose – I should go.” Astra made a whimpering noise in her throat. “There’s nobody who wants me here. I’m sure most of the people here are excited for me to be gone.”

    “I’ll open the door first.” Sarita wobbled to her feet. “Tell them to be nice to you.”

    “Thank you pr-Sarita.”

    Sarita gingerly stepped past Astra. The space between them was a fresh wound that was too painful to reach across.. She put her hand on the doorknob and turned back to Astra. “Astra – I hope you find your Princess someday.”

    “Don’t do that.” Astra set her jaw and wiped at her eyes. “Don’t pity me.”

    “Sorry.” Sarita nodded and opened the door. She was greeted by a line of people across her living room, all staring at the door. That’s pretty intimidating. I’m glad Astra didn’t walk into that.

    “Hey everybody – Astra’s going to go. Please uh – stand down or whatever. I’d appreciate it if everyone was nice to her while she’s leaving.”

    “Of course.” Nohemi nodded firmly. Everyone else seemed to agree, though Oriana and Pauline seemed to have reservations. At Nohemi’s direction – Nieves, Paul, and Oriana sat on the couch. Pauline retreated to the kitchen.

    “Okay Astra. Um – if you want to talk later we could…”

    “Goodbye Sarita.” Astra pressed her copied apartment key into Sarita’s hand. She took a moment to stand up straight and fix her hair before boldly stepping out into the living room.

    As Astra reached the door, Nohemi moved to join her. “Astra, I’m sorry.”

    “What for? You won.” Astra looked sad and irritated, but mostly she looked tired. Even her best bravado wasn’t enough to restore her trademark shine.

    “No, I didn’t. Nobody won today.” Nohemi shook her head. “You know, I wish we were still friends. I miss the Astra I knew when we first found out about the Fairy.”

    “Why?” Astra frowned. “After – everything, why?”

    Nohemi shrugged. “I’m a fool, I guess.”

    Astra shook her head and opened the apartment door. She stepped through, but hesitated. “We could get coffee. Next week, maybe.”

    “You have my number.” Nohemi smiled sadly as Astra nodded and closed the door.

    “I’m sorry, everybody.” Sarita waddled into the room, wincing at the extra bulk in her already thick diaper. “That was so much drama – and it was all my fault.”

    “No, it wasn’t all yours.” Pauline wrapped her arms around Sarita from behind. “You are not blameless, but Astra did a lot of line-crossing stuff.”

    “Not for the first time either!” Oriana said.

    “Let’s not all pile on Astra. She got carried away, but she’s not evil.” Nohemi sighed ruefully. “Sarita did a dumb thing, but that doesn’t make her a dumb baby. Her wet diaper is what makes her a dumb baby.”

    “Mimi!” Sarita had meant to shout her protest, but it came out as a squeak when Pauline squeezed her.

    “Are you really wet? Oh my god, what a total baby.” Nieves snickered and hopped off the couch onto the floor. “You better come sit on the floor with the other babies.”

    “Yeah!” Paul quickly joined Nieves, scooting over to leave a spot for Sarita. “We’ve all had a bunch of big emotions and now the Bigs have to make us hot chocolate.”

    “We have to do what now?” Nohemi’s eyebrows shot up.

    “I’m holding a pretty sad Little girl – we should probably humor them, or the condition might spread to the other Littles.” Pauline walked Sarita over to Paul and Nieves, gave her diaper a big squish, and sat her down with them.

    “Way to throw us under the bus, Pauline.” Oriana smirked. “You’ve got a lot to learn about Big solidarity.”

    “I know where Sarita keeps her chocolate.” Nieves laughed and got out a pan.

    “You’re really not mad at me?” Sarita looked around at her friends. “I know I made a lot of trouble – oh god, the next Green Fairy night is going to be a nightmare.”

    “No it’s not.” Nieves firmly grabbed Sarita, pulling her over for a hug. “We’re going to have a great time. It’s the Fairy! We’re going to dance all night.”

    “You dance?” Sarita asked hopefully.

    “Who doesn’t?” Paul flopped onto the hug, pinning Sarita to Nieves.

    “Um, a little personal space, Littles?”

    “Nope.” Nieves shook her head. “Not until the cocoa gets here.”

    “This is Little therapy.” Paul threw a leg over Sarita’s lap. “Enforced snuggling.”

    “Th-thanks.” Sarita shuddered and clung tightly to her fellow Littles. Paul’s Little therapy was ridiculous – an unbearably corny joke. It was also exactly what Sarita needed. She felt the sad void inside her close a little.

    It’s so sad that Astra is going home to an empty apartment. What am I going to say to Pauline? This is such a mess. Paul is right. We need hot chocolate for this kind of situation.

    ~~~~*~~~~

    An unspoken agreement between the group kept the conversation light. The most anyone would discuss the evening’s drama was to tease Sarita for being a dramatic queer. Of course, Nohemi had to mention Felisa – which lead to Sarita re-telling the Taco Truck Fire story to Nieves, Oriana, and Paul.

    Drunk on chocolate and laughter, Sarita felt peace inside herself for the first time in a while. It was great to have her apartment full of friends, laughter, and Nero who was somehow in a good mood with the rest of them.

    Nieves and Oriana were the first to go. Pauline stayed as long as she could – longer than she should have, likely. Nohemi stuck the evening out, declaring that someone had to keep an eye on the Littles until Tanner arrived.

    When Tanner did arrive, he had a hug for everyone and a diaper bag for Paul. After co-opting Sarita’s bedroom to change his Little, he pressed an envelope full of big bills into Sarita’s hand.

    “So that you don’t have to ask for it.” Was all Tanner would say on the matter. Any attempt of Sarita’s to discuss repayment was put off, “Until the crisis is over.”

    With more hugs, Tanner and Paul were gone. The city had gone quiet, except for the occasional siren. Nohemi and Sarita sat on the couch, Nohemi’s arm draped over Sarita’s shoulders. Nero seized the opportunity to be on not one but two laps, purring like mad.

    Finally, Nohemi stretched, dislodged an indignant black cat, and sighed. “I’ve got to get back to my place. Are you going to be okay?”

    Sarita struggled to her feet. She’d wet again after the hot chocolate – deliberately that time – and was chagrined at how soggy her diaper was. “I’ll be fine, thank you. Um, Mimi, would you…”

    Realizing what she was about to ask for, Sarita shook her head. “Never mind, sorry, I can’t ask you to…”

    “You need a diaper change?” Nohemi smiled, patting Sarita’s padding. The bulk had long since popped the snaps on her onesie, and was hanging low between Sarita’s legs.

    “No, you don’t have to – I didn’t mean to ask.”

    “It’s a lonely thing to do it yourself after you’ve had someone to do it for you. Believe me, I know.” Nohemi took Sarita’s arm and guided her back to the bedroom. “You don’t need any lonely feelings tonight.”

    Hardly believing it was going to happen, Sarita wiggled back on her bed. Nohemi was gentle, peeling Sarita’s diaper off with confidant hands. She chucked it in the pail Astra had purchased, and wiped Sarita down with slow strokes.

    “Do you want me to put you in another one?”

    “I have to be an adult for my interview tomorrow but – I was kind of thinking of curling up with Nero and my mom’s old blanket and…”

    “So yes.” Nohemi smiled and slid a fresh diaper under Sarita.

    Nohemi was casual about changing her,  Sarita was blown away at how comfortable Nohemi seemed as she patted the powder into place. That’s my Mimi. I doubt I’m her best friend, but she’s mine for sure. I knew she wouldn’t make it weird.

    “Get some rest. It’s really late, and you need to be fresh for your interview. Do not get up later than nine am, promise me.”

    “I promise! I really want the job.”

    “Good girl.” Nohemi kissed Sarita on the forehead. She lingered, looking into Sarita’s eyes and caressing her cheek.

    A little bubble of excitement bounced around Sarita’s chest. What would have happened if Astra hadn’t been at the Fairy that first night with Nohemi? Would we have ended up together?

    Naw. She doesn’t see me that way. She makes a great mommy anyway. “Goodnight, Mimi.”

    “Goodnight mija.”

    ~~~~*~~~~

    “Tell me how many colored squares are on this card.” Colleen looked like she was in her mid forties, impeccable in a sandstone colored dress, with a perfectly color-matched cardigan.

    Sarita took the color sample from Colleen and carefully scrutinized it. She turned the heavy cardstock over in her hands, wondering if she’d been asked a trick question. So far, the interview had been very straightforward. Colleen had dismissed Sarita’s work history right away, since none of it pertained to graphic design. They’d talked about her portfolio, and why Sarita had made certain choices with her designs.

    The office was bright and cheery – a nice distraction from the card that was making Sarita so nervous. She forced her eyes away from the collage of framed art pieces behind Colleen and looked at the card again. Five distinct shades of pink were arranged in blocks, from warmer to cooler shades. There was no space between the blocks, nor outlines around them. Am I supposed to say it’s just one block, because they’re arranged like a gradient?

    “Um, five, right?” Sarita smiled nervously at Colleen. “I’m sorry, I don’t really get the question. Do you want me to talk about how they’re arranged from warm to cool?”

    Colleen beamed. “Not at all, though I’m glad you noticed that. Five is the correct answer. You look at the card and see five shades. I look at the card and see five shades. The rest of my designers can pick out four at the most. The average person sees only three.”

    “What?” Sarita frowned. Is she messing with me?

    “Some people can see more colors than others. You’re one of them. I’ve been looking for someone with that talent for a while.”

    “Oh – um, thanks! Does that mean I get the job?”

    “Not the designer job, no.” Colleen held up a hand as Sarita’s face fell. “Your portfolio shows promise, but it’s amateur work. You don’t have any formal design training, do you Sarita?”

    “No, I wanted to go to classes but – I never got a chance to save up the money.” I should have known I was too under-qualified.

    “I want to offer you a job – as my apprentice.”

    “What – what does that mean?” Dangerously intoxicating hope began to rise in Sarita’s chest.

    “I’d hire you on full-time. You’d work under me or another designer until you complete some basic design courses. I estimate your apprenticeship would last between six months and a year, depending on how fast you learn.”

    “That sounds amazing, but I wouldn’t be able to start the classes right away. Getting laid off wiped out my savings.” Not that I really had savings but – close enough.

    “Don’t be silly, my company will pay for your classes. You’ll be on the clock for them too. I don’t want to hear about you skipping class, even if they make for long days.”

    “You – you’ll pay for them?”

    “Of course. They’re mandatory for your job, so they’re working time. You should never pay for mandatory training, Sarita.”

    Colleen slid a beautiful red leather binder across her desk and opened it to reveal a notebook in fancy stationary. As she spoke, Colleen took a pen and wrote in the notebook. “Now, I can’t pay you a designer’s salary during your apprenticeship, that wouldn’t be fair to the other designers. While you’re an apprentice, I can offer you this wage. After you’re working on your own as a designer, the entry level wage is this…”

    Colleen turned the notebook to face Sarita. She felt like she was floating. The apprentice wage was more per hour than she’d ever made at Grrl Power, even on her best commission month. The designer wage was half-again the apprentice wage. And that’s to start? Full time?!

    “I know the apprentice wage is low, but we’re investing a lot in you with the classes, and you’ll get some overtime on days when you have class.” Colleen smiled apologetically. “Will that work for you?”

    “Yes! Yes, absolutely. Thank you! This is a dream come true, really. I’ve wanted to be a graphic designer since – since middle school I guess.” Sarita was keenly aware that she was grinning like an idiot, but it was the only expression her euphoria would allow.

    “I love that energy – you’re darling!” Colleen grinned. “Very good, now, it’s a forty hour week, eight to five, with an hour for lunch and two breaks. This is all in the employee handbook, but I like to go over it with new hires myself. Medical insurance is free for you, but you’ll need to take a deduction from your pay if you want to add any dependents…”

    It took every ounce of Sarita’s willpower to keep from sobbing for joy as Colleen casually outlined benefits that had been a pipe dream for Sarita’s entire working life. By the end she was so overwhelmed she almost told Colleen she didn’t need the vacation days.

    After all the forms had been signed and Sarita had her first day scheduled, she stepped out into sunshine that was beaming down especially for her. Her first act was to call Tanner and thank him in a series of happy squeals that she hoped he was able to translate. Her daddy-friend seemed happy for her, anyway.

    Bubbly like a fresh glass of champagne, Sarita skipped down the street to meet Pauline. As she went, she gushed about her new job to the Munch group chat. Nohemi and Oriana’s polite congratulations were utterly drowned by Paul and Nieves’ flood of excited gifs.

    ~~~~*~~~~

    Sitting in a corner of the Munch’s coffee shop felt weird. Sarita realized she’d never been in the shop without going to the back room. The gorgeous girl across a little table from her more than made up for the weirdness. Pauline looked radiant in a marigold-yellow sundress. The tantalizing flashes of skin Sarita was able to see strongly suggested that Pauline was wearing the sundress and the sundress only.

    I have never wanted to be in a public place less, Sarita agonized, as she gave up on keeping her gaze respectful. “Did I tell you about the vacation time?”

    “Yes cutie, you did, but you can tell me again.”

    “I’ve never had vacation time before.” Sarita took a big sip of her coffee and looked at Pauline sincerely. “I want to spend it with you – I want to be a better girlfriend.”

    “Thank you for being the one to bring that up.” Pauline took Sarita’s hand and kissed it briefly. “We have a lot to talk about. More than one coffee date can handle.”

    “I know.” Sarita took a deep breath and nodded seriously. “I’m sorry again for running to Astra. Are you okay?”

    “Honestly? Not really.” Pauline sighed. “I was on a high, taking care of you during the drama and after. Everything hit different when I went home last night.”

    “Was it too much?” I’m the Felisa now. Poor Pauline.

    “No sweetie, it wasn’t. I still love your silly butt.” Pauline put her fingertips on her coffee cup to slowly rotate it. “Can we do a bit of a reset? I’d like to start over with no Astra. I want to be the only girl in your life.”

    “I’d like that.” Sarita took a nervous gulp of her coffee. “And if you don’t want to do the Little thing, that’s okay. Of course!”

    “I’d be sad if I didn’t have a Little Sarita sometimes. It’s not something I can do all the time though.”

    Sarita nodded. “I don’t want it all the time. Do you think that um – Subby Pauline might turn up sometimes?”

    Pauline pushed her coffee cup away, blushing. “She just might. Ugh, you meanie.”

    “That sounds fun. Help me out if I’m being dumb – but what else do we have to talk about if we’re both okay with that stuff?”

    Pauline rolled her eyes, smiling good-naturedly. “Everything, dummy. We have to communicate all the time, to make sure we’re both happy and okay with how things are going.”

    “Oh.” Sarita ducked her head – it was her turn to blush. “Right. Like an adult relationship and stuff. I know how those do.”

    “Fuuuuuck, why are you so cute?” Pauline scooted her chair around the table and pulled Sarita in for a kiss. Sarita sighed happily, wrapping her arms around Pauline.

    “Hi Sarita, I’m Pauline.” Pauline nuzzled Sarita’s cheek. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

    “Hi Pauline.” Sarita giggled. “I’d love to be your girlfriend. Will you be Little with me sometimes?”

    “That sounds perfect.”

    “No, don’t say that. Nothing is perfect, ever.” Sarita caught Pauline’s eyes with a serious gaze. “Astra wanted perfect all the time.”

    “You’re right. It won’t be perfect. But it’ll be wonderful.” Pauline smiled. “See? That was communication. Oh! We could do a little board where you get gold stars every time you communicate plainly.”

    “That’s – that’s – Pauline!” Sarita whined and bit her lip.

    “When’s your first day of work?”

    “This coming Monday.”

    “So we have a weekend where I can baby you a little?”

    “Yes please. But save some time for me to boss you around.”

    “Mmm, I like that.” Pauline leaned in for another kiss. More than a minute later, the girls pulled away with bright pink cheeks.

    “They’re going to kick us out of the coffee shop for PDA.” Sarita smiled shyly.

    “My apartment is closer.” Pauline hopped up and gathered the coffee cups.

    “Thank god.” Sarita grabbed her purse and new-employee binder. “I’ve wanted you out of that sundress since I saw it on you.”

    “Then let’s go, love.” Pauline took Sarita’s hand.

    ~~~~*~~~~

    The Green Fairy was bumping. Most people wouldn’t think an ABDL party could bump, or slap, or do any other cool thing, but Sarita knew better. She was dancing her heart out in Pauline’s yellow sundress. The dress was long enough on Sarita to cover her diaper no matter how much she danced. Just across from her was the sundress’ gorgeous owner, wearing a maternity dress that was devastating over a push-up bra. Nobody could hear Pauline crinkling under the heavy bass, but Sarita was sure her girlfriend was not only padded, but wet as well.

    Paul and Nieves were dancing around the two of them, alternating between gagging and making kissy faces. Nieves managed to shout, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” in singsong loud enough to carry over the music. Sarita had to laugh.

    Eventually, Paul and Nieves’ antics drove the lovebirds off the dance floor. In reality, it was sweatiness and thirst that sent them looking for the lounge, but Sarita let her Little friends have their victory.

    They found Nohemi, Oriana, and Tanner in the lounge – with snacks at the ready. Three Littles raided the table, nearly toppling it. It took several minutes for their respective bigs to get the Littles under control while Nohemi looked on in amusement.

    “I finally got to dance!” Sarita enthusiasm had her spitting graham cracker across the table. That earned her a swat on the thigh from Pauline and a trip onto her girlfriend’s lap to be fed the rest of her snack.

    “You danced before.” Nieves rolled her eyes. “At the one where you got the big spanking.”

    “Snowbaby, that wasn’t a great night for Sarita, it’s not nice to bring it up.” Oriana poked Nieves in the side.

    “It’s okay.” Sarita snuggled back into Pauline. “I don’t mind. But that night doesn’t count anyway because the only person I danced with was Jenevieve. She got weird on me.”

    Paul swallowed a big wad of graham crackers and looked around. “Where is Jenevieve anyway? She never misses one of these.”

    Nohemi’s face fell. “You didn’t hear? She poured her heart out to Astra – and the fallout was so bad she quit the club. She’s moving to Boston.”

    “Damn, really?” Tanner shook his head. “She’s leaving town?”

    Oriana nodded. “The breakup was here in the club. It was too much to recover from, even for her.”

    “There’s Littles in Boston. Maybe she’ll be better off there,” Nieves said sagely.

    “I’d never heard of ABDL before you guys. I’m still blown away by how many Littles there are everywhere.” Sarita accepted a cracker from Pauline and munched happily.

    “It’s hard for new people to enter the scene, but it’s worth it.” Oriana smirked. “Even if they cause a bunch of drama.”

    Sarita stuck a cracker-covered tongue out at Oriana, taking another thigh-swat for the privilege. Worth it!

    “Hey guys, can I join you?” Inka waved at the group. She was in a cute unicorn onesie – with no diaper. Wearing a onesie like lingerie was a surprisingly hot look. Sarita resolved to show off that way for Pauline – or get her girlfriend into it soon.

    “Of course, stranger.” Tanner smiled and scooted aside to make room for Inka.

    “I know, I haven’t been to the munch in ages, my B!” Inka shrugged. “I have someone for you all to meet. She’s a good friend of mine from high school who’s back in town – and agreed to try this crazy thing.”

    A sandy-haired girl stepped up to the group at Inka’s insistent wave. She had her hair in pigtails and was wearing a pair of overalls. The frog t-shirt under the overalls was super cute, and Sarita coveted it immediately.

    “Hello everyone. I’m Milana.” Milana had a Slavic accent and a shy blush. She looked at least as nervous as Sarita had been at her first Munch meeting, and that had been at the coffee shop!

    “Welcome!” Sarita bounced on Pauline’s lap. “You can sit by me if you want. I was new just a few months ago.”

    “I don’t want to make everyone re-arrange.” Milana looked as awkward as she sounded, with her feet pigeon-toed.

    “It’s no bother at all.” Tanner got up and grabbed a chair while Paul helped Oriana and Nieves shift over. Inka and Milana took their seats next to Sarita and Pauline. The first was hyper and the second quietly drawn in on herself.

    Sarita studied Milana, trying to decide how best to welcome the girl to the group. She had strong Little energy for sure. As Sarita considered, Inka was listing off names and pointing people out for Milana. When Inka got to Nohemi, Sarita was shocked to see a blush on her friend’s face.

    As Nohemi stammered out a greeting, Milana replied just as clumsily. Both girls fell silent, their blushes spreading to their ears. Oh. My. God. Sarita turned gleefully to Pauline, who was already smirking. Pauline nodded to Sarita and put a finger to her lips.

    Right. Nohemi doesn’t need my help. Or if she does, the best way to do it is to help Milana get comfortable. Turning to Milana, Sarita held out a hand. “Hi, I’m the Taco Truck Fire Girlfriend.”

    Milana had to laugh at that, along with the rest of the table. “That must be some story.”

    “You’d think so, but wait until you hear how Sarita joined our group…” Nieves chuckled.

    “Snowbaby, be nice.” Oriana bopped Nieves on the nose.

    “Sarita brought it up, she has to tell the taco one at least!” Paul said with a wicked grin.

    “I’ll tell both stories.” Sarita folded her arms across her chest. “Then Milana will know if she’s ever embarrassed, at least she hasn’t done what I did.”

    Milana nodded. “This sounds like a good plan. Please, continue with humiliating yourself.” Nohemi laughed so loudly she snorted, drawing a smile from Milana.

    “You asked for it.” Sarita took a gulp of apple juice and leaned back on Pauline’s lap. “A year and a half ago, a girl named Felisa and I were regulars at the Plush Pony…”

    Fin

  • Getting Little: Chapter 3

    The hell weekend earned its name several times over by the time Sarita’s last double-shift had finished. Sarita was convinced that someone in marketing at GrrlPower had sent targeted adds to Ardenthill’s entire population of Karens. No customer wanted to leave the store without causing a fuss and harassing the manager. The only upside was that Betty ended the weekend just as frazzled as Sarita. They even bonded over the shared trauma a little.

    Her new friendship and the memories of Astra’s kisses kept Sarita out of despair all the way to the end. That earned her points with Betty too. Sarita got a rare compliment about keeping up a good attitude. It seemed unlikely that Betty would remember that compliment the next time she had energy to find fault with Sarita, but it was worth enjoying in the moment.

    With a couple days off and a crisp twenty dollar bill from the weekend’s one kindly customer, Sarita was looking to put the weekend behind her. Astra hadn’t messaged her all weekend. Rather than deal with her nerves about that, Sarita hit Nohemi up.

    The twenty bucks was just enough to treat her friend to a fancy burger. Sarita’s burger consumed her eating out budget for the current paycheck, but the delicious lamb patty was worth it. Sweet potato fries with ranch were the icing on the treat-food cake.

    “You two seriously went on a date the next day?” Nohemi asked, leaning back in the restaurant booth with an amused smirk on her face.

    Nohemi had her regular clothes on, which turned out to be the lesbian uniform, though she wore heavy athletic leggings below her t-shirt and flannel instead of jeans. It was a good fit for the retro-nostalgia style of the restaurant. Better than Sarita’s dressy button up blouse and pleated skirt. Formal wear was the only clean clothing Sarita had left.

    “She texted me and directly asked!”

    “That’s wild. Are you sure she’s a lesbian?”

    “Pretty sure.” Sarita said, with a giggle and a blush.

    “Okay, basta. I don’t need details.”

    “Sorry! It’s all shiny and new.”

    “I’m happy for you, chica.” Nohemi said. “I really am. When’s the next time you two do stuff that I don’t need to know about?”

    “I don’t know.” Sarita said, pensively pushing a fry around in a puddle of ranch. “She didn’t text me at all over the weekend.”

    “You told her you were working doubles though, right?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Did you text her at all?”

    “No.”

    “Tonta. I’m sure she’s just letting you rest.”

    “You think so?”

    “Oh my god Sarita, do not be a useless lesbian. Text Astra. Tell her you survived the weekend and you want smoochies.”

    “Smoochies?” Sarita asked scornfully.

    “Smoochie-woochies from your cuddle bear.” Nohemi snarked.

    “Shut up! You’re the worst.” Sarita giggled.

    “Did I get you over your self-inflicted drama at least?”

    “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks Nohemi.”

    “I live to serve. Thanks again for the burger by the way. This place is really good.”

    “I’m glad I could treat you.”

    “If you do it too much I might think you want smoochies from me.”

    “Stop it with the smoochies, you’re such a nerd!” Sarita threw a napkin at Nohemi.

    Nohemi deftly blocked the napkin with a backhand, flashing her black fingernails dramatically. She grabbed an extra straw and blew the paper wrapper off it at Sarita. Giggling, Sarita tried to duck but the wrapper bounced off her cheek.

    “I’m so glad you fell on top of me that night.”

    Nohemi laughed. “Me too chica, me too.”

    “I want to hang out more, but if you have stuff to do, I can go do my own thing.”

    “I do have to get to work soon.” Nohemi said reluctantly.

    “I don’t even know what you do yet.”

    “I install IT systems in buildings. Usually at night so we don’t interrupt the business during their day.”

    “Oh wow, that’s really cool.”

    “I guess? I’m still a grunt. I mostly pull cables through drop ceilings.”

    “Is that why you can’t always go to the Green Fairy when it’s open?”

    “Yeah, I try to schedule days off around its open days, but sometimes a big job comes through and everyone’s days off get shuffled.”

    “That sucks. I hate it when Betty does that to me with no notice.”

    “I’m not a fan of it, but at least we usually get some kind of overtime.”

    “I’d like to get my regular time paid correctly.” Sarita sighed. “I don’t think my commission pay ever comes out right.”

    “You gotta take that up with your boss.”

    “Betty? No way. She’s always on me about stuff. That’d just make her mad and I’d get fired.”

    “This doesn’t seem like a problem to you? Your pay is the most important thing about your job.”

    “I don’t have a lot of experience or special skills. I need this job.”

    “Is there at last a payroll department or HR that you can ask to verify your commissions?”

    “I don’t know.”

    “You don’t know?”

    “I never got set up on the company email. I asked Betty about it once, and she snapped at me about how I was folding clothes.”

    “Sarita, mija, you are being taken advantage of.”

    “I know.” Sarita said sadly. “There’s not much I can do about it.”

    “Besides look for another job.”

    “That’s a big hassle. The new one would probably be just as bad.”

    “Okay, I’ll stop trying to solve your problem. I’m here for you though, if you want help applying to places or confronting your boss or whatever.”

    “Thanks Mimi.”

    “I’m Mimi now?”

    “Is that not okay?”

    Nohemi shrugged, grinning. “Yeah I don’t mind. You got me at a disadvantage there, your name is already like a nickname.”

    “Yeah I know, I’m so cute and girly and stuff ‘cause of my name.”

    “You could go by Sarah, or your middle name.”

    “My middle name is Angeles.”

    “Yeah okay, not that one. Sarah sounds grown-up though. Or you could go by Maria. Your whole middle name is Maria de los Angeles, right?”

    “I don’t want to be one of the billion Marias.” Sarita shrugged. “I just like to complain about it, I think. Sarita suits me.”

    “It really does.”

    “Then why were you trying to get me to change it?”

    “Just trying to be helpful.”

    “I appreciate it.” Sarita eyed her pile of fries. The soggy ones were all that were left. She pushed the tray away. “When do you have to go to work?”

    “I’ve got to be at the job site in about an hour.”

    “Oh, so you have to go soon.”

    “Yeah, probably should already be getting ready.”

    “Thanks for coming out with me.”

    “Any time.”

    Nohemi gave Sarita a comforting hug after they dumped their trays. They stood awkwardly outside the restaurant. Sarita wasn’t about to suggest that Nohemi leave, but she couldn’t think of anything to talk about that wouldn’t be an obvious stall.

    “Hey Hemi, how’s it going?”

    Sarita turned to see one of the two girls Nohemi had been with the night they’d met. That evening in the Plush Pony was way too blurry to remember who was who. Luckily, Nohemi solved the identity problem for her.

    “Hey Oriana, I’m good. About to head to work. You remember Sarita?”

    “Oh yeah, we fell on you. Sorry mija.”

    “It’s okay. Nothing broke.” Sarita smiled.

    “I really do have to run.” Nohemi said. “If I leave you two alone, you won’t gossip about me will you?”

    “That is the very FIRST thing we are going to do.” Oriana said with a wink.

    Sarita giggled. “I’m excited to hear some Mimi gossip!”

    “Mimi already, huh?” Oriana asked curiously.

    “Do not test me, puta.” Nohemi waggled a finger at Oriana. “Fine, go ahead and gossip. I want a full report later though. See ya!”

    “Bye Mimi!” Sarita waved.

    “Later chica.”

    “We don’t actually have to hang out if you don’t want to.” Sarita said shyly.

    “No way, I want to dish on Hemi. Plus, I hear she’s not the only one you met that night. You’re Astra’s new girl?”

    “Uh, I don’t know if I’m – her girl.” Sarita said, blushing. “We went on one date.”

    “Let’s walk somewhere. You want coffee?”

    “I just ate.” Sarita said, wincing at a mental image of her bank balance.

    “Fair. Let’s walk down to the skate park then. Nieves is down there.”

    “Are you and her…” Sarita asked, taking a couple of quick steps to catch up to Oriana.

    “Yeah, three years now.”

    “Wow, that’s really cool.”

    “You haven’t had a lot of relationships?”

    “That’s not true. I mean uh – I had a girlfriend in high school and one when I moved to Ardenthill.”

    “Uh huh. Look, I’m not trying to flex on you. I just want to warn you about Astra.”

    “Warn me?”

    “Yeah, she’s into some weird stuff.”

    “I – think I know already.”

    “After one date? Damn, she’s moving fast these days. Are you sure you actually know the weird thing?”

    “I mean – it was really weird.”

    “I’m just going to say it. Diapers. She’s going to want to put you in diapers.”

    She already did. Sarita thought, blushing. They stopped at a crosswalk, pausing their conversation at the most dramatic moment possible while they waited next to a few strangers. Thankfully, no one matched pace with them after they crossed the street.

    “Yeah, that’s the thing. I already know.”

    “You’re not freaked out?”

    “It doesn’t seem like it hurts anybody.”

    “Oh, I’m not judging. Nieves and I do that stuff. That’s just the intro to the Astra warning.”

    “You do?” Sarita blinked. “But then – she does something even more weird?”

    “No. She goes too fast. It’s not like she means to push people too far, but she’s done it a lot. If you’re going to be with her, you’ve got to have firm boundaries.”

    “She’s got a reputation at the Green Fairy? H-how do you know this?”

    Oriana sighed. “I’m not trying to rain on your fun new relationship. It’s not just gossip either. I’ve experienced it from Astra first hand.”

    Oh no. She’s the ex. Now I have no idea what to believe.

    “No you don’t.” Oriana said. “I can see in your eyes what you just did. Invalidated everything I just said, because I’m the ex.”

    “N-no I didn’t.”

    “I’m seriously not saying you should stop seeing her. I just want you to be careful. Look, there’s a group of us that meet up more often than the Fairy is open. You could come by, talk to some people. Get some perspective on what’s normal in our very weird scene.”

    “Oh. Okay, that doesn’t sound so bad. But like, I wouldn’t have to wear…”

    “No, of course not. It’d just be people hanging out. Holy shit Sarita, has she already put you in a diaper?”

    “I told her I wanted to try it.”

    “You are making it so hard not to grab you and mommy you. Will you come to the group?”

    “I’d like to. When is it?”

    “There’s one tomorrow night. We meet once a week.”

    The skate park was right across the next street. Exchanging numbers got them through the crosswalk wait. As soon as they crossed, Oriana had a very excited Nieves in her arms. The two of them were stupid cute, kissing and nuzzling noses and gazing into each other’s eyes.

    Sarita didn’t know how they could still be like that after three years, but she longed for it. She was a little jealous of Nieves’ skater girl drip too. Nieves had a whole denim on denim thing going on, balanced by a cute pink hat.

    “Hey Nieves, you remember Sarita? She’s coming to the munch tomorrow.”

    “Holy shit, did Astra already…”

    “It’s a whole thing, we’ll talk about it at home.”

    “I’m standing right here, bitches.” Sarita said grumpily.

    “Sorry, sorry. There’s all kinds of drama and history.” Nieves said.

    “Yeah, I’m getting that.” Sarita sighed.

    “If you’re hanging out with Mimi you’ve got to be pretty cool.” Nieves said. “Didn’t mean to dump our baggage on you.”

    “Thanks. It’s okay.” Sarita shrugged.

    “You’re coming to the thing for sure tomorrow, right?” Oriana asked.

    “I will. I really want to see what it’s all about.”

    “Cool.” The couple said in unison. Sarita had to work hard not to roll her eyes at the cuteness.

    “Do you need us to walk home with you?” Nieves said. “It’ll be dark soon.”

    Sarita shook her head. “No, thanks though. I’ll let you two get to your evening. See you tomorrow.”

    “Tomorrow chica!” Nieves said.

    “You better be there or the chancla will come out of nowhere and smack you.”

    “Yeah I’m real scared.” Sarita stuck her tongue out at Oriana and waved.

    To Sarita’s relief, they were spared the awkwardness of walking together after saying goodbye. Oriana and Nieves were headed West, Sarita North. As she walked, Sarita pulled out her phone in case she needed to get a ‘sudden call’ around a sketchy person.

    To her delight, there was a text from Astra, finally. With slightly more complicated feelings than she wanted to have, Sarita checked out the text.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Hey hot stuff. I missed you on the weekend. You make it through okay?”

    [Sarita]                                    Yeah, barely. I missed you too.

    Technically that wasn’t true. She hadn’t had time to miss anybody on the weekend. She’d missed Astra after the weekend though, so it still counted.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    I’m slammed at work for the next couple of days, but can I see you on Thursday?

    [Sarita]                        I usually work that day, but I can try to get it off. I don’t have my schedule for that far out anyway.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    That’s only in three days. Your boss is a barbarian. Want to have a little fun tonight?

    [Sarita]                        I thought you couldn’t meet.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Over text. Sexy text.

    Sarita giggled and blushed. She looked around, but nobody had noticed. She shot off a yes to Astra before ascending the steps to her apartment. Nero was, for once, not begging for food. He wanted pets instead. Carrying a very squirmy kitty, Sarita checked her plants and turned on the TV.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Great. First, tell me what you’re wearing.

    [Sarita]                         White button up blouse, pleated skirt.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Panties?

    Sarita squirmed. She hesitated before sending her next text.

    [Sarita]                         Yes. Pink with lace.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Super hot. What’re you doing right now?

    [Sarita]                        Just got home.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    You were out? Make sure you’re hydrated. Drink a full glass of water.

    Sarita frowned, then shrugged. It’d been fun after their last date, when Astra had ‘made’ her put on the pullup. She poured herself a glass and pounded it down.

    [Sarita]                         Done.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Good girl. I have to finish cooking my dinner. Hold that thought. Don’t change clothes.

    Sarita rolled her eyes. She was of half a mind to tell Astra to just drop the game and go back to chatting. Nero hopped up on the couch and headbutted her hand. She laughed and scratched his head. Sarita flopped on the couch and put on a movie for background noise. She petted Nero idly while she waited for Astra to get back to her.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    I’m back. Still dressed like a fancy little girl?

    [Sarita]                         I guess. I didn’t change.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Good girl. You have a shower or tub?

    [Sarita]                         Shower.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Get in the shower. With your phone. Don’t turn shower on.

    Curiously, Sarita went to the bathroom, ignoring Nero’s petulant meow. She stepped into the shower and closed the glass door to prevent any cat-interference.

    [Sarita]                        Okay, what now?

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Sit down in the shower. Now.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Wet yourself.

    Sarita was already on her butt when the second message came through. She stared at it in shock.

    [Sarita]                        What?

    [Astra Green Fairy]    I’m sure you have to go after that big glass of water. Go ahead. In your skirt and panties.

    [Sarita]                        I can’t!

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Yes you can. It’ll be hot.

    [Sarita]                        I can’t send a pic of that… like I did of the pullup.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    You don’t have to. I’ll believe you if you say you did it.

    Sarita stared at the phone. Was this what Oriana had been talking about? What Astra was asking seemed kind of gross and pushy. At the same time, she’d already worn a pullup. She’d known what people did in those. Pee being involved in stuff with Astra wasn’t a total surprise.

    Gingerly, Sarita tried releasing her bladder. Nothing happened. She tried again. The third time she even pushed a little. Still nothing. Her body just wouldn’t do it.

    [Sarita]                        I tried, I can’t.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Happens to a lot of little girls. Sit up in a squat. Feet apart, squatting all the way down. Try again.

    Sarita stared at the message. She wanted to tell Astra no. At the same time, she wanted to see where Astra was going with this. She could get out of the clothes right away, and it wasn’t like she’d never peed in the shower before. Maybe this would tell her if she wanted to play Astra’s game – or not.

    Licking her lips, Sarita assumed the position Astra had asked for. Relaxing this time brought a sense of dangerous urgency. Pushing put a trickle of liquid in her panties. As soon as she’d started, it was easier to get another splash of pee. Sarita fell back on her butt, copiously wetting her skirt and panties.

    “Oh god, oh god.”

    It was humiliating, even with nobody to see. She felt gross, embarrassed, upset – and dominated. Sarita curled onto her knees and scrunched up her face. The conflict between the discomfort and the arousal had her thoughts spinning.

    [Sarita]                        There’s so much. It’s gross. I did it.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    I can’t believe you did it. You know you’re going to get spanked next time I see you.

    [Sarita]                        But I did what you said!

    [Astra Green Fairy]    You still get a spanking for being a dirty girl. A long one. Bent over my couch.

    [Sarita]                        hot

    [Astra Green Fairy]    I’ll put you in a pullup afterwards.

    [Sarita]                        Then what?

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Then you get kisses, and I make you a really dirty girl.

    Sarita bit her lip and pressed her hand between her legs. It was so hot. So gross. So – much. She almost took care of herself right there in the shower. Instead, she tossed her phone on the bathroom rug and stripped down. The water came on for a rinse-off and Sarita went straight to her bed. Twenty minutes later, she was feeling a lot more relaxed.

    Retrieving her phone, she discovered a lot of messages from Astra. They were continuing the game at first, then asking if she was okay. The last one even seemed like Astra was worried that she’d upset Sarita.

    [Sarita]                        I’m okay, was just away from phone. Sorry I didn’t respond. I was cleaning up.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    That took a while. Was cleaning up all you did?

    [Sarita]                         No. I – needed to finish off.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Dirty girl. That’s another spanking. Who said you could get off?

    [Sarita]                        Nobody

    [Astra Green Fairy]    Don’t worry, I take good care of naughty girls like you. I know what you need.

    [Sarita]                        I wish you were here. Texts feel lonely.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    I could call you.

    [Sarita]                        You don’t have to.

    [Astra Green Fairy]    I know. Can I call anyway?

    [Sarita]                         Yes.

    Sarita didn’t know if she wanted Astra to chat, or if she wanted another round of sexy. When Astra opened the call warm and conversational, it felt good. They talked a little about Sarita’s weekend. Astra had some trouble going on at her sales job. It was really nice to bitch about bosses and co-workers.

    The only dominant thing Astra did was give Sarita a bedtime. Cuddled up in bed, with Nero wedged in the crook of her knees, Sarita didn’t complain. She’d been yawning through the call anyway.

    “Goodnight Astra.”

    “Goodnight Little Girl.”

    It was an odd note to end on. Sarita decided to feel comforted by it. With another huge yawn, she drifted off to sleep.

    The next day was not so relaxing. It started off early, with a text from Britt, followed by a call when Sarita didn’t respond fast enough for her manager’s taste. The work schedule was finally up. Sarita had to come in that day for a two hour break shift, then work the next five days, split shifts.

    “Can I at least have Thursday evening off, since I’m coming in today on short notice?”

    Britt actually laughed. “Nice try, no. You know the employee handbook says your schedule can be changed at any time. See you in two hours.”

    Sarita groaned helplessly at her phone. It was a race to get a single outfit washed in the sink and dried with a hairdryer. Her outfit from the day before was still sitting at the bottom of the shower, soaked. Even high-sugar mocha espresso couldn’t save the day. Sarita managed to get yelled at twice during her short shift. Back home, lunch was tuna directly out of the can. She shared with Nero, of course.

    After taking a sack of laundry to the laundromat and dragging it home, Sarita collapsed on the couch. She grabbed her phone to send a text to Oriana to let her know she wasn’t going to make it to the munch. She had the first word of the message typed out when she realized she really wanted to go.

    Sitting up she grabbed Nero from his lounging spot on the coffee table. He meowed indignantly, still meowing through his purrs as she scratched his ears.

    “I think it’ll be nice to have friends to hang out with again. What do you think, Nero?”

    Nero thought he needed his chin scratched. Sarita agreed.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 4

    The munch was at a cute coffee shop. Sarita looked around nervously, on the doorstep. There were lots of comfy chairs and couches, plushies, and a couple of cats. There were only a few people inside. That was a bad sign, the munch should have been in session for ten minutes.

    Did I get the place wrong? Did they tell me the wrong place to ditch me?

    A text message from Oriana stalled Sarita’s panic before it got out of hand. They were in a private room. It made sense and relieved Sarita’s anxiety at the same time. With a nice affordable drip coffee in hand, Sarita knocked on the door.

    “Girl, you made it!” Oriana opened the door and ushered Sarita in.

    Oriana looked really happy to see her, though they’d only met yesterday. Sarita smiled bashfully and let herself be lead to an empty seat. The private room was decorated with beautiful, patterned sheets draped across the ceiling and walls, giving it the feeling of a luxury tent. There was a round table in the middle of the room and a circle of loveseats and armchairs around it.

    Sarita found herself between Oriana and a stranger. There was no sign of Nohemi or Astra. She wasn’t sure if she wanted Astra to be there or not, but she sorely missed Nohemi.

    “Everybody, this is Sarita. It’s her first time here, so be nice and don’t chase her off!” Oriana said.

    “Hi everybody.” Sarita said.

    “Let’s go around the room, sound off your name,” Nieves said. A redheaded girl groaned. “Even if we meet every week, it’s technically a munch, you don’t get to complain about introductions and icebreakers. Now you have to go first.”

    The redhead laughed. “I’m Pauline.”

    “Inka.” “Nieves.” “Oriana.”

    The whole circle looked at Sarita, catching her while she was sipping her coffee.

    “Oh, I already said, but Sarita.”

    “Enya.” Said the girl next to Sarita.

    “Paul.” “Tanner.” Two guys were sharing a loveseat, probably a couple, since Paul was leaning against Tanner.

    “This is the main crew more or less. There are more people that come sometimes.” Oriana said.

    “Welcome to our group.” Pauline said. “I’m glad you weren’t scared of Oriana and decided to come.”

    “Rude!” Oriana said.

    Everyone laughed. Sarita smiled and settled into her chair. They all seemed nice, nobody was scowling or throwing weird looks. Nobody was wearing any obvious baby stuff. There wasn’t even anyone wearing something more subtle, like the mom-chic Astra liked to wear.

    “I’ll do the group intro if nobody else wants to.” Nieves said. Several of the others nodded.

    Nieves took a deep breath. “We’re an ABDL group that’s associated with the scene at the Green Fairy, but you don’t have to go to the club to hang out with us. We do these munches every week to hang out. Anybody that isn’t a jerk is welcome. No diapers, no baby gear, no baby clothes at a Munch. Stuffies are okay, but don’t act like a baby here. The munches are for socializing and introducing new members.”

    Oriana picked up as Nieves ran out of steam. “We do other events to, at the Green Fairy or other places. We can do a lot of ABDL stuff at those. If it’s not at the Fairy, whoever’s running the event will let people know what the boundaries are.”

    “We’re not a super hardcore group.” Enya said. “I don’t think anyone in the group is lifestyle. We don’t have a group name.”

    Sarita chuckled along with the group. “Thanks, it sounds really cool. I ony found out about all this last week. I’m curious but I don’t know anything yet.” She said.

    “We have a group chat where you can post questions if you’re embarrassed to ask in person.” Oriana said. “I’ll send you a link.”

    “Okay, okay, enough admin stuff. Let’s do something fun before Sarita thinks all we do is sit around and talk about logistics.” Tanner said.

    “Icebreaker game?” Enya asked. ‘You want to start, Tanner?”

    “Sure, we’ll do Never Have I Ever. Not as a drinking game. The person asking gets to pick one person that answered yes. That person has to explain a time they did the thing.”

    “Is that okay with you, Sarita?” Enya asked.

    “Yeah, sounds fun.”

    “I’ll start with a super easy one for me, since I’m a daddy.” Tanner said. “Never have I ever worn a diaper or pullup.”

    Nearly every other hand went up. Blushing like crazy, Sarita put her hand up as well.

    “Really? Sarita? I’m not picking you, yet. I’m surprised.” Tanner said.

    “Yeah, I have. Once.” Sarita said, curling up in her chair.

    “She went on a date with Astra.” Oriana said.

    “Woah, she moves really fast now!” Pauline exclaimed.

    “Okay Sarita, I AM picking you to explain. It’s your first time here though, so you can veto and pick anyone else that raised their hand.”

    “No, it’s okay. Um, like Oriana said. I went on a date with Astra. She explained stuff to me and… I got curious. I asked her to give me a pullup to wear.”

    “Woah, you go girl!” Pauline said, grinning. “I wasn’t so brave when I first heard about it.”

    Sarita giggled and took a big sip of her coffee.

    “It’s your turn to say something you’ve never done, Sarita.” Tanner said.

    “Uh – I don’t really know what all stuff there is.” Sarita said. “So – never have I ever been in the teddy bear room in the Green Fairy.”

    “Aw you got us all with that one.” Nieves said with a laugh.

    Sarita grinned at all the raised hands. After a quick eeny-meeny-miney-moe, she pointed at Pauline.

    “Okay, well I’m more of a DL than a AB.” Pauline said. “So never have I ever drunk from a baby bottle.”

    Nieves’s hand went up again. So did Enya’s, Inka’s, and Paul’s.

    “I don’t know how you joined the Fairy, Paul. Fess up. Specifically, about the teddy bear room.” Pauline said.

    “My super gross ex-boyfriend got me really drunk and dared me to go in there. Tanner was there and he saw how wasted I was. He took care of me and was a perfect gentleman and daddy. Not that we did any ABDL stuff that night.” Paul said, snuggling closer to Tanner. “He rescued me, and I dumped the beast the next day. Daddy and I have been together ever since.”

    A general aww went around the circle. Nieves got a laugh for pretending to gag at the cute boys.

    “Just for that Nieves, here’s one I know you have to say yes to.” Paul said. “Never have I ever wet in my clothes on purpose. Diapers only for me.”

    Sarita winced. She watched Nieves put her hand up. Oriana did too. So did Pauline and Inka. Gingerly, Sarita added her hand to the others.

    “Sarita again?” Pauline giggled. “You’re doing a great job with the innocent girl look, but you’re a little firecracker.”

    “It’s not an act, I really am embarrassed.” Sarita said.

    “I’m sure I know who your story involves. I’ll be nice and pick someone else.” Paul sad. “Oh look, Nieves has her hand up!”

    “Meanie.” Nieves stuck her tongue out at Paul. “Last time I did that… I faked an accident when we were out drinking because I wanted Oriana to take care of me.”

    “I knew it! I knew you were faking!” Oriana said in amused outrage.

    “Oh, that’s a spicy one, good pick Paul.” Enya said.

    Having exhausted her only two ABDL activities, Sarita got to watch and listen for the rest of the game. It seemed like the rest of them had heard most of the stories before, but it was still a lot of fun. Between the caffeine and the mound of sugar Sarita had put in her drip coffee to make it drinkable, she was feeling happy and hyper.

    “Since we’re not allowed to wear here, I need a bathroom break.” Paul said. “Do you need one too, Tanner?”

    The question got raised eyebrows. Sarita couldn’t see why. It wasn’t normal for guys to go to the bathroom together, but they were gay and kinky, so she didn’t see the problem. Anyway, the reactions were quickly lost as most of the group decided they need to go as well. Sarita managed to get first shot at the girl’s bathroom, putting her back at the private room ahead of the pack.

    Pauline was the only one that hadn’t gone. As soon as Sarita took her seat, Pauline plopped down next to her.

    “Hi.” Sarita said. “Um, that was Oriana’s seat.”

    “She won’t mind, we can handle a little reshuffle.” Pauline said. “Is it okay if I sit by you?”

    “Yeah, go ahead.”

    “Cool. We were all planning to go to a store that sells ABDL stuff after the munch. You don’t have to come along if you don’t want to, but you’re welcome. I wanted to give you a heads up, so it isn’t weird when our time’s up in the private room.”

    “Thanks for telling me. I guess I might go. What kind of stuff is there?”

    “Tons of diapers, mostly. But they sell a lot of baby stuff. Pacifiers, baby clothes in adult sizes, and sexy stuff. They sell regular baby toys too, but those aren’t worth it to buy there. I get those a regular store or a thrift store.”

    “It sounds interesting.” Sarita said, squirming. “Okay, I’m in.”

    Oriana walked in and smirked at Pauline. “Duck, duck, baby in my seat.”

    “Get another seat. This one is comfy.” Pauline said.

    “Jolines, you’re a pain.” Oriana took Pauline’s seat, claiming the only other unclaimed loveseat.

    A rumble of voices filled the small room as people reshuffled their seats. Pauline leaned into Sarita and asked in a soft voice, “So, is it ABDL you’re interested in, or Astra?”

    “Um – it was Astra at first.” Sarita said, playing with her hair to try to burn off the awkward energy. “But I guess I’m kind of generally curious now.”

    “Next question before the room quiets down again.” Pauline said with a mischievous grin. “Is it okay if I flirt with you?”

    “I uh – what? I’m not sure – wait, are you already?”

    Pauline giggled. “A little bit, but I’ll back off if it’s not okay.”

    I go a year without dating and suddenly I’m like catnip. Do these girls really think I’m cute, or am I the fresh meat?

    “I haven’t really talked with Astra about us being exclusive or not.”

    Pauline looked really surprised. There was more than surprise there too. Something like annoyance, or concern.

    “Okay, no problem. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

    “Wait, what was that look? Is it weird Astra and I haven’t talked about being exclusive?”

    “A little bit? Especially if she already went as far as putting you in a pullup.” Pauline said. “She’s dating at least two Little Girls that I know of, besides you.”

    “Oh.” Sarita sighed.

    Of course, it wasn’t only me. It was stupid to think she was my girlfriend.

    “Augh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to throw cold water on your new thing.”

    “No, it’s fine. You know what? You’re pretty. I like your red hair.”

    Pauline giggled. She was about to respond when the room quieted down. Instead, she gave Sarita a lusty wink.

    “We played Never Have I Ever, and musical chairs, is anybody up for one more game?” Enya asked.

    “We have a little bit of business we should get out of the way.” Oriana said.

    “Oriana’s right.” Tanner said over the groans that followed Oriana’s statement.

    “I’ll be quick. We still need somebody to help with the diaper decorating for the next Green Fairy night. Nieves and I are already doing the snacks for the table. I know decorating a hundred diapers is work, but it’s fun too, and it pays for us to rent this room.”

    “I could do it if you did it sometime other than the evening. Tuesdays are my only free evening.” Paul said.

    “It could be any time if someone wants to take the whole project over, but if it’s not in the evening, Nieves and I won’t be able to help.”

    “What kind of decoration is it?” Sarita asked.

    “We have a bunch of glitter pens and gel pens.” Nieves said. “You’d make cute drawings. They don’t have to look good, if they look like a kid drew them it’s better. We don’t want them to all look the same.”

    “I’m not much of an artist if there isn’t a computer involved, so it might look like kid art.” Sarita shrugged shyly. “I can do it. It’s a hundred, by uh, three weeks from now? My schedule is all over the place though.”

    “We’ll give them to you and lend you the art supplies if you think you can get them done.” Oriana said. “Let us know if you realize you might not finish.”

    “I can help too.” Pauline said. “If that’s cool with you, Sarita.”

    “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind the company.” Sarita smiled. “I don’t have any money to put in for the rental, but I can help this way.”

    “It’s your first time, you don’t have to be worrying about finances.” Tanner said.

    “It’s super sweet of you to offer though.” Inka said. “Thank you.”

    “You’re saving our butts.” Oriana said. “Otherwise, Nieves and I would be working pretty much the whole time between events.”

    “I’m glad to help.” Sarita said.

    It felt good to get a bunch of thanks from the group, even if she hadn’t earned them yet. The talk fell to gossip about other ABDL people in town, but without names or context, Sarita was lost. Thanks to Pauline’s tip, when the trip to the diaper store was announced, Sarita was able to join in without hesitation.

    One more point in my reputation of being adventurous and confidant. I sure hope it lasts.

    Pauline asked to trade numbers to coordinate on the diaper decoration as they set out from the coffee shop. It put the two of them at the back of the group, walking together.

    Pretty smooth Pauline, I see what you’re doing.

    While Pauline finished inputting the new contact, Sarita took a moment to look over the other girl. Pauline was a little taller, with shoulder length, natural red hair. She didn’t have the super put together look that Astra did, which made her much less intimidating.

    Sarita had been joking about flirting when she called Pauline pretty in the coffee shop, but she really was pretty. Pauline seemed fun and relaxed too, which would be a nice change of pace.

    Not going straight to being exclusive is normal, tonta. Sarita reminded herself. I was taking Astra way too seriously. It’s the same thing I did with Felisa. I should just… date for fun. Pauline seems fun.

    Sarita waited until Pauline looked up from her phone and tucked her hair behind her ear as obviously as she could.

    “I guess we should pick a place to do the decoration. It’d be cool if we could hang out more than for the project, though.”

    “That’d be great.” Pauline said, grinning. “What kind of stuff do you like to do?”

    “Uh, I’m super boring.” And poor. “I don’t go out much. I’m a regular at the Padded Pony, and that’s was all until I got into all this.”

    “The Pony? I haven’t been there in forever. There was crazy drama over a taco truck and I stopped going before I really met anybody.”

    Sarita facepalmed. “Yeah, that was my ex.”

    “You dated the taco-truck-fire girl?!” Pauline’s mouth dropped in shock.

    “Yep. I’m the taco-truck-fire girlfriend.”

    Of course, she knows about it. Thanks Felisa.

    “No way, you’re way too adventurous and kinky for that to be your label.”

    “H-how do you know if I’m kinky?”

    “Well, you’re way more open to it than I was, when I discovered the teddy bear room.” Pauline said. “I think it’s cool, really. I was a wallflower for so long they almost kicked me out for making people uncomfortable by not participating.”

     “It seemed like a time for a change. I didn’t want to be the taco-truck-fire girlfriend anymore.”

    “You nailed it.” Pauline said. Her knuckles brushed Sarita’s. There was a sparky feeling that made Sarita glance up nervously. Pauline’s eyes were emerald. They held gazes long enough for Sarita to trip on a crack in the sidewalk.

    Pauline caught Sarita by the arm. They exchanged another shy glance. The rest of the way to the store they walked quietly, holding hands.

    The front of the store was innocuous enough, selling medical supplies, including incontinence products. It had a sterile grey-and-blue medical aesthetic that was ick.

    You had to ask to be let into the back room, Sarita learned. The back room was like night and day to the front. Everything was in enticing primary colors, with lots of childlike touches such as foam bumpers on the corners of shelves.

    It took until their group had been let into the back for the rest to notice Sarita and Pauline holding hands. A teasing chorus of, “Oooh!” from the rest of the group had the new couple giggling. They retreated from the teasing down a side isle of the store.

    The side trip took them to diaper central. There were diapers from a dozen brands, some simply a solid pastel color, while others had a busy print design. A package of bold purple diapers caught Sarita’s eye, she stopped to admire the color.

    “Your butt would look cute in one of those.” Pauline said.

    Sarita giggled nervously, ducking her head. “I don’t know. They look way more intense than the pullup I wore.”

    “I don’t think how intense they are affects if your butt would be cute or not.” Pauline said, poking Sarita’s side. “Only how nervous you’d be wearing them.”

    “Not if I’m so nervous that I never get it on.” Sarita said, squirming away from the poke.

    “While we’re back here, we should pick out a package to decorate.” Pauline said. “Tanner buys them, then we sell them at markup at the Fairy.”

    “Oh, hmm, well Oriana said a hundred, right? That looks like two packages. We could pick two different kinds.”

    “You pick. I’m excited to see which ones you like.”

    “Because you want to picture me in them?”

    “That’s right, I’m diapering you with my eyes.” Pauline said, smirking.

    Sarita found herself flushing from more than embarrassment. She wasn’t sure if it was because she’d have to get at least half naked for Pauline to do that to her, or if it really was the diapers. Now that she was in a store aisle full of them, they had a certain attraction. The feel was something taboo and comforting at the same time.

    For the first package, Sarita picked out the plainest ones she could find, which turned out to be white diapers with pastel pink wings.

    “Boring.” Pauline said as she was handed the package.

    “They’re for decorating.” Sarita said defiantly.

    Despite what she’d said, Sarita went looking for something more challenging for her second package. A pride-pony set looked like they had enough white space to add decoration if she was clever about it. Sarita set that package on top of the plain ones with a smug nod.

    “I’m carrying both packages?” Pauline protested.

    “That’s right, you’re my pack mule now.”

    “I’m getting you for that later.”

    “Oh no, I’m so scared.”

    “You’re a brat too? No fair.”

    “Why, do you like bratty girls?” Sarita posed with a hip out, biting her lip.

    “I thought I was supposed to be flirting with you.” Pauline said. She had a pretty blush covering her cheeks.

    “Looks like it’s mutual.” Sarita flipped her hair back. “Anyway, we should find the others.”

    “Oh, you’re trouble.”

    The rest of the group were browsing more interesting toys. The aisle was labeled ‘Restraints and Punishment’, which turned out to be a blend of baby and BDSM stuff. Pacifier gags were the first thing to catch Sarita’s eye. There was all kinds of stuff, from paddles to straightjackets to chastity devices.

    Tanner was making a big show of looking at the chastity cages, while a humiliated Paul squirmed next to him.

    “See anything you like?” Pauline asked.

    It was Sarita’s turn to squirm. She glanced at the pacifier gags again before she could stop herself.

    “Oh, these?” Pauline asked, setting down the diapers to grab a hot-pink pacifier gag. “Neat, this one has an inflatable bulb.”

    “There’s lots of stuff in here.” Sarita said evasively.

    “These are nice for apartment living though, right? In case you’ve got a baby that cries a lot or makes other noises.”

    Oriana and Nieves turning to them to join in on Pauline’s laugh pushed Sarita into acute embarrassment. She covered her flushed face, stepping back until her shoulders bumped into the paddles.

    “Too much? I’m sorry.” Pauline said.

    “No, it’s okay.” Sarita peeked out from behind her hands. “I got overwhelmed.”

    “If you really are interested in it, we can’t try them out or anything, but do you want to hold it and see how the strap feels?”

    Gingerly, Sarita took the pacifier gag. The leather strap was soft like suede on the inside. The pacifier looked like it’d be comfortable, at least until the bulb was inflated. She imagined putting it on and swallowed nervously.

    It was obviously a baby thing and a sex thing at the same time. If she had it on, she wouldn’t be able to talk, but it’d also mark her as being into ABDL kink. The strap was the kind that could be buckled or could be buckled and locked. The thought of not being able to take it off put all kinds of interesting feelings in Sarita’s head and hips.

    “You seem pretty interested in it…” Pauline said.

    “Yeah, it’s hot.” Sarita whispered.

    “I’ve never used one of those either.” Pauline said in a low tone.

    “No?” Sarita looked at Pauline. “Would you?”

    Pauline gave a nervous squirm. “For the right person.”

    Sarita giggled. “Maybe we’ll be right for it – someday.”

    “Maybe.” Pauline grinned.

    “Are those the diapers you want to decorate?” Tanner asked, scaring both girls into a little jump.

    “Uh, yeah. Sarita picked them out.” Pauline said.

    “I’ll take them to the counter, thanks for choosing them.” Tanner said.

    “You’re welcome.” Sarita said.

    Paul was super blushy and quiet behind his boyfriend. Oriana and the others had moved down the aisle to look at the plastic pants. Considering the section they were in, the pants surely had a way to lock. Sarita decided she couldn’t handle the blush that would come with confirming that fact.

    Hesitantly, Sarita took Pauline’s hand. Butterflies bubbled in her stomach when Pauline gave her hand a squeeze. She took the lead to the next aisle over, hoping for less embarrassing products.

    The next aisle was less sex-oriented, but it was hard to say if it was less embarrassing. The shelves on both sides were fully stocked with adult-sized baby clothes, with more than a third of the space dedicated to onesies.

    “This stuff I don’t do as much.” Pauline said. “I like the diapers more than the age-related stuff.”

    “Not even for the right person?” Sarita teased. “This onesie matches your hair.”

    “No, it doesn’t, it’s red. I’d look washed out.” Pauline said.

    “Not this shade, look.” Sarita took a onesie off the stack and stepped over to a mirror, holding it up.

    Though she rolled her eyes, Pauline stepped dutifully behind the onesie. Her eyes widened when she checked herself in the mirror.

    “That actually goes really well. How’d you do that?”

    “I’m good with color balance and stuff.” Sarita said.

    “Are you an artist?”

    “I wish. I’d like to get into graphic design, but I don’t work in that either. I have a retail job at a clothing store.”

    “I bet you give people great fashion advice at least.” Pauline said.

    “What do you do?” Sarita asked, desperate to get off the topic of her crappy job.

    “I’m an assistant bookkeeper. Lots of boring numbers, all day.”

    “Better than customers.”

    “Yeah, I remember, from when I worked in a coffee shop.”

    “You lovebirds can stick around if you want, but we’re heading out.” Oriana said, poking her head into the aisle.

    “Oh uh, yeah, I have to work early tomorrow. I should go.” Sarita hastily folded the onesie and put it back on the rack.

    “Can I walk you home? I’ll help carry the diapers.”

    “Oh, I forgot the diapers. Uh, do they cover them with something or…”

    “They have plain bags.” Pauline said, laughing.

    Outside the store, Sarita tried not to feel self conscious about the bag in her hand. The diapers weren’t visible unless someone looked directly into the bag. Still, it felt weird to be carrying them. After getting a promise from Oriana to bring her the pens for decorating, Sarita and Pauline said their goodbyes.

    By mutual, silent agreement, they walked with their bags on the side opposite the other person. They lasted a block before they were holding hands again. Sarita didn’t look back, but she imagined Oriana and the others were getting plenty of gossip out of that.

    No importa. They don’t seem like they’re mean about it. Sarita thought.

    At her apartment steps, Sarita took the other bag of diapers and hesitated awkwardly. Pauline was as awkward, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

    “This wasn’t really a date – I don’t know if I should kiss you.” Pauline said.

    “I think people can kiss – even if they haven’t finished a date.” Sarita said, blushing.

    That was so lame!

    Corny and lame as the line was, it worked. Pauline leaned in for a sweet kiss that set Sarita’s heart fluttering.

    “Text me when you get the pens for decorating those.” Pauline said. “Or you know – whenever you want.”

    “Okay. Um, you too. Text me whenever.”

    “Sounds good.” Pauline beamed. “Goodnight.”

    “Night.” Sarita watched Pauline go, swaying with giddy energy.

    Upstairs, she endured a lecture from Nero about how rude it had been for her to leave him alone all evening.

    “You’re going to have to get used to it, Nero. I’m going to have friends, and date again.”

    Nero was not impressed. He stuck his nose in the shopping bags and batted at the crinkly plastic inside.

    “Those are none of your business, Nero!” Sarita said. Rattling his food dish evaporated his interest in the diapers, though it did generate a fresh round of meows.

    With a fed kitty on her lap and a plate of taquitos, Sarita settled in to watch shows. Since one screen obviously wasn’t enough, she pulled out her phone. There was a text from Nohemi, asking how things had gone with Oriana and Nieves.

    Smiling, Sarita let the show fade into the background as she described her evening to Nohemi. Certain details had to be omitted, of course, but she didn’t want to deprive her new friend of the chance to tease her about kissing a second girl in a week.

    Nohemi didn’t disappoint. With the show now utterly forgotten, Sarita giggled as she traded barbs with Nohemi.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 5

    Sarita cried three times at work on Thursday. She got a talking to from Britt for poor attitude, but managed to escape a writeup. When the store closed at nine, Sarita fled. Her phone’s battery was dead, which was just as well. She didn’t feel like dealing with disappointed texts from Astra about not being able to get together.

    Without the ability to talk to Nohemi, Astra, or Pauline, Sarita fell back to her pre-Green-Fairy routine. The Plush Pony was on the way home, if ‘on the way’ meant three blocks out of the way. For Sarita, it restored some balance. As soon as she stepped through the door and smelled the Pony’s distinctive scent, she knew she’d been missing it.

    It was quiet for a Thursday, with no one at the pool table and only half the tables taken. Sarita was only two steps in when Ineis flagged her down.

    “¡Guapa! I’m so glad to see you. I thought getting squashed drove you off for good.” Ineis grabbed Sarita for a bone-crushing hug.

    “Oof! I’m glad to see you too, Ineis. Sorry I haven’t been around. It’s been a crazy week. I made some new friends, been hanging with them.”

    “Friends or ‘friends’?” Ineis smirked while she made air-quotes.

    “Uh, one of them is the second kind. Maybe more than one.” Sarita blushed.

    “Woah, look at you, getting back on the pony.” Ineis ruffled Sarita’s hair. “I feel terrible that I had to ditch you that night. I couldn’t let those idiots run out though. You drink free tonight, okay?”

    “You don’t have to do that – but thanks.” Sarita smiled.

    “I’m not going to let you get wasted, fair warning. But order as fancy and expensive as you want.”

    “Can I start with a Mai Tai?”

    “You bet you can. Grab your seat and you can tell me about your new friends while I mix it.”

    Sarita happily rested her elbows on the bar and gave Ineis a redacted version of her recent adventures. There was no mention of teddy bear doors or pullups. The munch was converted to a regular coffee shop gathering, with the ABDL store becoming a generic clothing shop.

    Even with the sanitized version, Ineis scolded her for going straight to Astra’s apartment. Sarita took it in good humor, considering that the scolding came with a free chardonnay slushie. She didn’t get to choose her third drink. Ineis poured her a glass of Riesling, put a raspberry in it and told her to sip it slowly.

    “You don’t get another drink for a while and I want to see you drink this water too, got it?”

    “Yes mom.” Sarita grinned and stuck her tongue out at Ineis.

    There was already a happy glow in her belly. She was in no hurry to get sloshed and cut off. With that in mind, she worked on the water first. Sarita was back in her post as birdwatcher, but this time the birds were watching back. To Sarita’s surprise, she got a few waves and even a hello from the other regulars.

    It’s weird to be noticed here again. Maybe meeting some new people finally shook Felisa off my shoes.

    Ignoring the little voice that informed her that Ineis had been badgering her to make new friends for a year, Sarita polished off her water and handed her wine to Ineis for safekeeping. A trip to the restroom had become mandatory.

    One of the best revelations of the night was that the Taco Truck Fire graffiti in the bathroom stalls didn’t bother Sarita anymore. Not only did she not have to turn her head away from the drawings, she found herself laughing at the terrible stick-figure caricatures of her ex.

    Felisa, Felisa, Felisa. I don’t care anymore! Bye Felisa!

    Reclaiming her drink at the bar, Sarita chatted the bartender up about Ineis’ mom. Marta, Ineis’ mother, was always in the middle of some kind of medical crisis, but she always seemed to come out of them fine. This time it was a group of moles that Marta was certain were cancerous and would require skin grafts across her entire shoulder.

    They were so absorbed in the discussion that neither one of them noticed the new arrival until she was almost on top of them.

    “Hi Little Girl.”

     “Astra!? What are you doing – how did you know I was…”

    Sarita’s disjointed questions were silenced by Astra’s lips. She closed her eyes and relaxed into the kiss, or tried to. Astra set the tone right away, deepening the kiss and taking firm hold of Sarita’s waist. The kiss ended with spots dancing in Sarita’s vision and heat in her cheeks.

    “I take it you’re the new girlfriend. I’m Ineis.” The bartender was hovering on the other side of the bar like a nervous mother bird.

    “Astra. Yep, that’s me. Good to meet you.” Astra put an arm possessively around Sarita’s waist.

    “I’ll give you girls space. Let me know if you need anything.” Ineis retreated to take care of another patron.

    “Thanks Ineis.” Sarita looked up at Astra. “I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch. I thought it’d be too late after I finished work and my phone battery died.”

    “It’s okay, I’m glad I found you. You don’t mind that I tracked you down here, do you?”

    “Not after that kiss.” Sarita giggled.

    “Feeling silly? How many drinks have you had so far?”

    “Two – and a half.” Sarita said, double-checking her glass of wine.

    “Three is going to be your limit tonight.”

    “Says who? You’re not my mom.”

    “Maybe not, but you’re my girl. My Little Girl.”

    Not your only little girl, if Pauline was being truthful. Sarita squirmed on the barstool.

    “Don’t even start arguing. You’re already due for a couple of spankings.”

    Sarita felt heat blossom on her cheeks – and between her legs. “Okay, fine. I was probably going to stop after that one anyway. Plus Ineis wasn’t going to let me get drunk.”

    “I’ll have to thank her for watching out for you. Did you have a rough day? Three drinks is a lot for, what, an hour after your work closed?”

    “It was horrible. Ineis helped a lot though. She comped me the drinks because I got trampled last week.”

    “Can I take over your night?” Astra lightly cupped Sarita’s jaw.

    “What does that mean?”

    “I want to take you back to my place and make everything the rest of the way better.”

    Sarita bit her lip. “Like – overnight?”

    “If you want, I’d love that. Even if we don’t sleep together yet.”

    “Why would I stay over if we didn’t – you know?”

    Astra laughed, leaning in for a quick kiss. Tenderly, she tucked Sarita’s hair behind her ears. “Oh my god, you’re so cute. What I really want to do is take care of you. Make sure you’ve had something to eat, get rid of all your stress, and if you stay over, tuck you into bed.”

    “That’s not all you want to do to me.”

    “Are you talking about making love, or spanking you? Because the first one I’m open to passing on. You’re not getting out of the spankings though. You earned those yourself by being naughty.”

    The pounding in Sarita’s heart was making it hard to think and the buzz from her drinks wasn’t helping either. She had three days off, if Britt didn’t do another sudden schedule change. Tomorrow was a sure day off, at least.

    “Okay, you can take over.”

    “Take over your night – or take over everything?” Astra had an excited, playful look on her face.

    An equally playful and reckless feeling made Sarita grin. She grabbed her wine glass and downed the rest of it in a big gulp.

    “Everything.”

    “You’re lucky you pounded that wine before you put yourself in my hands.” Astra smirked. “Do you need to say goodnight to your friend?”

    “I probably should, or she’ll worry.”

    “Go ahead then, Little Girl, and meet me by the door right after.” Astra gave Sarita’s rear a firm pat before walking to the door.

    Sarita hopped up and scurried to the drink mixing station. “Ineis, I’m headed out. Thank you so much for the drinks and the big hug tonight!”

    “Are you okay? I know you’re a little buzzed, and Astra looks pushy.”

    “I like that she’s pushy.” Sarita giggled. “She’s careful with me.”

    “In that case, have a good time. Try not to jump straight into her bed.”

    “We’re not even going to – I mean, I don’t think we’re – shut up, I’ll tell you about it later.” Sarita giggled again, turning away from the bar before Ineis could pester her any more.

    Outside the bar, Astra took hold of Sarita’s hips and gently pinned her to the wall. The blonde woman’s eyes dropped to Sarita’s chest. Nervously, Sarita peeked downward. Her bra had done nothing to hide her body’s reaction to being pinned.

    “I want to set a couple of ground rules, since this is the first time you’ve been my Little Girl for real. I know you’re turned on, but pay attention, please.”

    “Okay.” Sarita swallowed around a lump in her throat.

    “I’m your caregiver. I expect you to obey me. If you don’t, I’ll punish you. Punishments will be a mix of fun and not fun.”

    “Is – that it?”

    “You can call a break any time you want. We can set a safeword if you really want, but I think it’s fine if you just ask for a break if you need one, especially our first time.”

    “That works. I don’t think we need a safeword if it’s okay for me to say stop.”

    “In return for all this, I’m going to nurture you. I’ll see to your mental, emotional, physical, and – other needs. As long as you’re obeying me, or accepting punishments when you don’t, I’ll take care of you.”

    “That sounds really nice.” Sarita was surprised at how much emotion came through in her voice and how much she wanted what Astra was describing.

    “Good girl. Now, is there anything you need to take care of before we go to my place? Your cat?”

    “I should check in on Nero.” Sarita nodded.

    “We’ll do that first. How close is your apartment?”

    “A couple of blocks.”

    Astra took Sarita’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Take me there, Little Girl.”

    Sarita’s thoughts were abuzz. The walk home felt unreal, immersed as she was in a happy, tipsy, horny cloud. She didn’t think to consider the state of her apartment until they were already inside.

    “Nero? You scaredy kitty, it’s okay to come out.” Sarita tried rattling Nero’s food dish, but he was committed to hiding from the new person. She looked up at Astra, blushing when she spotted the critical expression on the other woman’s face.

    “Sweetheart, your apartment could be cute – but it’s quite a mess.”

    “I’m sorry! I haven’t had people over in ages. I’ve been so busy with work and stuff that…”

    “Shh.” Astra pressed a finger to Sarita’s lips. “I’ll help you. It looks like my Little Girl needs some chore reminders, is all.”

    “Uh…” Sarita blinked as the implications of that statement sunk in. “We’re not doing that tonight though, are we? You’re saying – you’d be in charge more than tonight?”

    “That’s right honey. I told you, until you ask for a break or stop accepting punishments. Wouldn’t you like to live in a nice clean place? Just at first blush it looks like it’s a pain to find the clothes you want.”

    “Sure I would but…”

    “Then trust your caregiver. Astra’s here to take care of you, Little Girl.”

    Any further protest on Sarita’s part was forestalled by another kiss. This time, Astra pinned Sarita to the fridge, cupping Sarita’s breast through her shirt. She moaned, pressing her chest into the touch.

    I can stop her any time I want. I’ll just ask for a break tomorrow morning. It’s not like she can force me to do chores when she’s not here.

    “Now, get together whatever you need for your cat. Pack a toothbrush and a pair of pajamas. You’ll also need a skirt and blouse for tomorrow.”

    “Okay.”

    Astra gave Sarita a light swat on her butt. There was no sting, other than to Sarita’s pride. “When I give you a direct command like that, I want you to say, ‘Yes Astra’. Once we establish a caregiver title for me, you can use that instead if you want.”

    “Um – yes Astra. What do you mean by a caregiver title?”

    “Whatever we decide our Little Girl and Caregiver relationship is. Sometimes the word is Mommy, or Nanny, or Auntie. There’s lots of possibilities. No more stalling, go do what I told you to do.”

    “Yes Astra.”

    Sarita scurried to fill Nero’s food and water. It was a lot, what Astra was putting on her. The sexiness of it was undeniable, however. Her panties were so wet that she wished she was wearing a pullup.

    I’ll probably be wearing one as soon as we get to Astra’s place. Sarita thought, with an excited shiver.

    Astra was doing dishes when Sarita presented herself with her overnight bag packed. After a few seconds of waiting, Sarita squirmed impatiently. Still, Astra didn’t look at her.

    “I’m sorry the sink is dirty, I can get those later. I’m ready with my stuff.”

    “I know you can clean them, but you didn’t. Being your caregiver isn’t just about making you do things, it’s doing things for you too. You can wait right there, Little Girl, I’ll be done loading your dishwasher in a minute.”

    Watching her date clean her frankly gross dishes was a humiliation Sarita hadn’t expected to encounter. She found herself clasping her hands behind her back or in front of her as she waited for Astra to be done. The discomfort cranked up higher once the dishwasher was running, as Astra opened Sarita’s bag to inspect the items. It was a huge relief for Sarita to get approval on her overnight packing.

    “There’s one more thing I’d normally check.” Astra rested her hand on Sarita’s thigh. “If I checked your panties, what would I find?”

    Sarita trembled. She couldn’t make herself raise her voice above a whisper. “They’re wet but – it’s not an accident.”

    “Is my Little Girl that turned on? Do you still want me to be in charge of you, all night?” Astra squeezed Sarita’s thigh gently.

    “Yes please, Astra.” Sarita moaned.

    “Our car should be here any minute, according to the app.” Astra smiled and patted Sarita’s cheek. “We don’t want to do kinky things in front of the driver. I want you to be a good, quiet little girl on the ride, understand?”

    “Yes Astra.” Or you could just take me right here in the kitchen. Spank me, whatever. I don’t know if you need the diapers, but I don’t need any more buildup, thanks.

    The car ride didn’t do a lot to cool Sarita off. The enforced quiet, while Astra chatted with the driver, kept her submissive state in the forefront of her mind. It was too warm in the car, indeed, the whole night was too warm. The temperature only went up when Astra took Sarita’s hand and lead her upstairs.

    There was no respite from Astra’s direct control in the pristine apartment either. The first thing the other woman did was take Sarita’s overnight bag away and hang it by the door. Astra took Sarita’s hands and looked intently into her eyes.

    “Do you need me to take you to the potty, Little Girl? You won’t have another chance to go for a half hour or more.”

    “Wh-what do you mean, take me to the – potty?”

    “Little girls need help using the potty. If I take you right now, I’ll sit you on it and watch you use it to make sure you don’t make a mess.”

    Sarita’s face flamed until her ears roared. The only answer she could make was a quick shake of her head.

    “Then we need to take care of your naughty behavior.” Astra walked Sarita to the couch.

    It was a nice piece of furniture, even looked like something that Astra had bought new. Sarita had plenty of opportunity to admire the upholstery when Astra bent her over the couch arm. Trembling, Sarita gripped the cushion. Her rear was already tingling in anticipation.

    She felt Astra pull her leggings down. Her panties came down too. Things were definitely a bit backward. Neither one of them had been topless yet. Despite her trepidation, Sarita had no intention of putting the brakes on anything. The faster she could get to release, the better!

    “Your panties ARE soaked.” Astra said softly, stroking Sarita’s rear. “Is this how you were after you wet yourself in the shower? When you took care of yourself without permission?”

    “Yes Astra.” Sarita gasped.

    “Do you need to be touched now, Little Girl?”

    “Yes, please.” As embarrassed as she was, Sarita didn’t feel any additional shame from begging. Shameless, begging whimpers tumbled from her lips. “Please, please…”

    “Not yet. Punishment first. You had an accident in your clothes, that’s naughty.”

    “You told me to.” Sarita protested, not willing to let that one go. “That’s not fair.”

    “Little Girls don’t get to decide what’s fair. It will be a small one for that, however.”

    A pair of slaps set Sarita’s cheeks tingling. She gasped and quivered, unconsciously raising her rear for more. It’d been sexy when Felisa had spanked her, but the strokes had always been clumsy and half-hearted. Astra’s smacks were crisp and precise. With all the buildup she’d had so far, it felt to Sarita like she might be able to climax just from the spanking.

    “There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Astra stroked Sarita’s rear firmly, making the smacked skin tingle. “Thank me for correcting you.”

    Thank her? It would have been a hard command to swallow earlier in the night. As hot as Sarita’s motor was running, she was willing to do almost anything Astra told her to do.

    “Thank you, Astra.”

    “Good girl!” Astra’s fingers brushed close to the burning heat between Sarita’s legs. She was so desperate to be touched that the mere proximity made her twitch all the way down her back.

    “Now, touching yourself without asking me first, that’s actually naughty. It means a bigger spanking. I think you can handle a harder one too, what do you think, Little Girl?”

    “Yes Astra! Yes, I can.”

    Astra chuckled. Her fingertips ghosted across Sarita’s lower back. “You’re such a beautiful Little Girl, do you know that Sarita? You’re so pretty and sexy.”

    Sarita panted wantonly into the couch. “Please, Astra, I need you.”

    “I know you do. You’re my sexy, pretty, darling Little Girl. With my help, you’re going to be a good girl too. Do you want me to make you a good girl?”

    “Oh Jesus, oh Maria, yes, please, please Astra.”

    “Please what?”

    “Please make me a good girl.”

    “As you wish.”

    Astra’s hand came down, harder than Felisa had ever spanked. Easily as hard as Mom had spanked. The sound echoed off the apartment’s hardwood floor. Sarita gasped and tensed, yelping with every strike. She lost count instantly, knowing only that her rear was on fire. It was a fire to match the one between her legs. Sarita was close, so desperately close….

    A disappointed whine escaped from Sarita’s teeth when the spanking ended. She wiggled her rear, hoping to entice Astra’s hand to come down again.

    Just one more, surely. Just one or two more…

    “Is there something you need, Little Girl?”

    “Please. Please, Astra. Please touch me. Please! I’m so close!”

    “Only good girls get that. Are you a good girl?”

    “Yes! Yes I’m a good girl, please.”

    “Are you MY good girl? Will you be a good Little Girl for me, be obedient for me?” Astra’s palm scraped across Sarita’s raw skin. The contact sent a spasm down Sarita’s back.

    “Yes, Astra, anything you want.”

    “I want you to be my good Little Girl all the time – but I’ll settle for tonight and tomorrow. Can you do that? Will you promise me?”

    “I promise!”

    “What do you promise?”

    “I promise to be your Little Girl!”

    “How long?”

    “All night, tomorrow too! Please, please Astra, I’m begging, I’ll do anything just….”

    A pair of fingers touched Sarita in the center of the heat between her legs. Her mouth opened, but her breath was stopped, there was no sound. The first great tremble in her belly forced out a gasp. When Astra dug her fingers into Sarita’s stinging rear, the submissive girl’s screamed echoed off the walls.

    The full feeling of fingers inside her drove screams out of Sarita until her throat was rattled sore. The couch and apartment ceased to exist. Time wasn’t a thing. There was only the burn in her rear and the glorious feeling of being touched.

    Dimly, Sarita felt Astra taking her clothes the rest of the way off her legs. She was maneuvered onto some kind of towel, straddling Astra’s legs on the couch. There was just enough attention available for Sarita to be grateful she hadn’t been set on her aching rear.

    Astra gave Sarita the most gentle, tender kiss she’d ever felt. Enfolded in the other woman’s arms, Sarita rested her head on Astra’s shoulder and panted.

    “That’s my good girl. That’s my pretty Baby Girl. You’re such a good Little Girl. I’m so proud of you, Sarita.”

    The words were like a hug around Sarita’s heart, to match Astra’s arms around her body. It took a while filled with hugs, praise, and soft kisses before Sarita felt like she was thinking again. As she rose above a state of pure physical and emotional reaction, Sarita found herself cuddled intimately into Astra. After what they’d shared, it felt perfect to be so close and connected.

    “Wow. That was so intense. I’ve never – not that much.”

    “Are you coming back to me?” Astra smiled and stroked Sarita’s cheek. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. It looked like you were having a beautiful, delicious time.”

    “What about you? I haven’t – done anything for you.”

    “First off, you still need aftercare.” Astra’s eyes were sparkling. “Second, I got what I needed out of that, trust me.”

    “Are you sure? You don’t want to – come?”

    “Not tonight. I’m pretty busy anyway. Somebody promised to be my Little Girl for a day. I need to be taking care of her.”

    I did promise that, didn’t I? I was going to stop this in the morning.

    It felt so good to be in Astra’s arms, it was hard to imagine giving up that feeling. Not only did it feel selfish to go back on her promise, Sarita found herself craving more intimacy from Astra. Being a Little Girl didn’t seem nearly as scary after being so tenderly comforted.

    “What do I do?”

    “Nothing, unless I ask or tell you to do something. You let me care for you.”

    “Okay.” Sarita giggled. This is sounding better all the time.

    Astra shifted the towel, laying Sarita on her back on the couch. The towel crinkled. Belatedly, Sarita blushed at the fact that she was laying on a changing blanket.

    “I’m going to put you in a diaper.”

    “But you said a pullup before.”

    “That was before our session. I had to mop the floor up a bit after my Little Girl.”

    “I’m sorry.” Sarita grabbed a throw pillow to hide her face.

    “No need to be sorry.” Astra lightly tickled Sarita’s sides. “I’ve cleaned up all kinds of puddles that Little Girls make. You lie here while I get my supplies.”

    It was at once embarrassing and comforting to have Astra lift Sarita’s legs and gently apply lotion to her stinging rear. The pendulum swung hard to the embarrassing side when Astra put a diaper under her and applied baby powder. For Sarita, the scent brought back memories of lots of babysitting, with cute, helpless infants in her arms.

    She was just as helpless in Astra’s confidant hands, spread open and powdered. The diaper wrapped around her waist to seal her fate. It seemed impossible to Sarita that she’d feel more submissive than she had when Astra had bent her over the couch. The feeling now was the same in intensity, but the quality of it was completely different.

    Before, Sarita had been Astra’s sexy date. Bent over and being spanked, but desirable and on display. Now she was wrapped in a diaper, totally at Astra’s mercy. Astra hadn’t even wanted Sarita to reciprocate the sex.

    I believe her when she said she didn’t need it, she didn’t look hard up. It’s weird though, I feel like I can’t do anything for her.

    “How’s that, nice and comfortable?” Astra patted Sarita’s diaper briskly.

    “Yes, th-thank you Astra.” It was comfortable. The soothing lotion and cool powder, combined with the soft padding, felt great on Sarita’s raw butt.

    “Good! Now, did you eat dinner tonight, or did you go straight to the bar?”

    “I uh – had an apple on my break at work.”

    “An apple isn’t dinner. What do you want to eat? I saw a lot of frozen food in your freezer. Would you like an oven pizza?”

    Sarita’s stomach growled. She giggled and covered her face.

    Astra laughed. “I think that’s a yes. Come with me, Little Girl. Let’s make you some dinner.”

    Following Astra to the kitchen, Sarita was confused when Astra put pressure on her shoulders.

    “You can sit down right here, Little Girl. I’ll take care of the food.”

    “Oh, okay.” Gingerly, Sarita got down on the ground. Even through the diaper, the kitchen floor was uncomfortable on her rear. Sitting on the padded garment kept it fresh in her mind too.

    “Here’s a treat for you while you wait for the pizza.” Astra put an apple juice box in Sarita’s hands and patted her head.

    “Um, thanks.”

    Sarita punched in the straw and sipped on the juice. She didn’t feel like Astra’s date at all anymore. Weird as that was, it was balanced by the feeling of being cared for. While Astra was droning on about chore schedules and helping Sarita clean up her apartment, Sarita sipped her juice and concentrated more on processing what she was feeling.

    It’s not as weird or bad as I expected. That was some of the best sex I’ve ever had. Now she’s making me food. It was really sweet cuddles afterwards too. I wish I could see what SHE likes about this. I feel like a bad girlfriend, with Astra doing everything.

    Before either Astra’s schedule or Sarita’s thoughts could come to a conclusion, Sarita was rudely interrupted by an urgent need. She’d arrived at the apartment feeling as if she could go to the bathroom if there was an opportunity. Now, her body was telling her that she needed to make that opportunity happen.

    “Um, Astra?” Sarita asked, trying to pick the best point to interrupt Astra.

    “Yes Little Girl?”

    “Um, I guess if you want to uh – take me to the potty, like you said when we got here, I need to go.”

    “Oh no sweetie, that was before I had you in a diaper. You can just use that now, unless it’s number two.”

    “What?”

    “That’s what your diapers are for, Little Girl.” Astra patted Sarita on the head. “Go ahead, you’ve got your potty right on your waist, no need to interrupt our dinner.”

    “No I, I don’t think I can do that. It was really hard to make it happen in the shower. I’m not even in the bathroom. I can’t just go.”

    “You don’t have permission to use the potty right now, and I’m not going to put you on it, so you’ll have to use your diaper sooner or later.”

    Sarita blinked at Astra in disbelief. A huge part of her wanted to get up and walk to the bathroom. She’d shifted up to rise already without realizing it.

    “Don’t get grumpy with me. Be a good Little Girl, like you promised, okay Sarita?” Astra gently pushed Sarita back on her rear. “I don’t want to have to punish you again so soon after the last one.”

    “Astra, please. This is too much, isn’t it?”

    “Sweetie, you know that Little Girls use their diapers. You’ve already wet once when I told you to. Do you need help getting started?”

    “No, I don’t want to do it. Please t-take me to the – potty.” Sarita blinked away tears, if they were from frustration or anger it was hard to tell.

    “Aw, darling, you’re okay. Come here, let me make it better.”

    Astra took Sarita’s hands and pulled her to her feet. Right away she cornered Sarita against the counter and fridge, wrapping her in a gentle hug.

    “What’s the matter? Are you worried that I’m going to think you’re gross? I won’t, I promise.”

    “I just don’t want to do it!” Sarita whimpered.

    “You said you’d be a good girl for me, and I know you want to be a good girl. Everything’s going to be okay. Stop worrying about being in charge and relax.”

    The hug was soothing, in a way. The gentle kiss Astra gave Sarita helped too. The angry panic was receding, but there was no playfulness to replace it. After her experience in the shower, the idea of wetting didn’t appeal at all.

    Astra nuzzled Sarita’s ear and whispered. “Sometimes being a good girl means doing something you don’t want to do. Be my good girl, Sarita. Relax and use that cute diaper of yours.”

    “I can’t.” Sarita squirmed in distress. It was true too. A momentary effort to relax had unclenched nothing.

    “I’ll help you. Squat down for me. Come on. That’s my good Little Girl.”

    Astra took Sarita’s hands and guided her into a squat. Pressure and urgency became pain and desperation. She struggled to rise, to close her legs, but Astra had Sarita off balance and her legs between the girl’s knees.

    “Oh no!” Sarita wailed.

    “Oh yes, good girl!”

    When the dam broke, all resistance vanished. Pee flooded her diaper, soaking the crotch and quickly following the padding back to Sarita’s rear. Tears flowed just as freely. There were no sobs, but she could feel her lip quivering until her teeth chattered.

    Astra gathered Sarita up, squeezing her tightly. “You’re an amazing, beautiful Little Girl. I’m so proud of you. What a good, sexy Little Girl you are.”

    Trembling, Sarita pressed against Astra. The words felt hollow in her ears, as much as she wanted to hear them, she couldn’t believe.

    “I’m not sexy. I just wet – wet myself.” Sarita took a deep, shuddering breath.

    “You’re very sexy. Especially right now.”

    Astra nibbled at Sarita’s lip, teasing her mouth open. Their lips locked in steamy passion. There was a hand on Sarita’s hip and breast, but most of all there was a very eager woman pressing against her.

    It was hard to reignite her flame, there was no chance of the kind of heat she’d felt during her spanking. Despite that, warmth coiled in Sarita’s belly, doubly so when she caressed Astra’s breasts through her blouse. Triply so when Astra moaned.

    Finally, Sarita felt desirable. Her heart picked up its pace and cleared the last of the tight upset from her chest. It was a long, hot make-out session that didn’t end until the oven timer dinged.

    “Mmm, drat. I can’t let your dinner burn.” Astra pulled back reluctantly.

    The diaper wasn’t exactly wet any more, it was more damp or soggy. There was an unpleasant squish of liquid when Sarita sat down to eat, but it re-absorbed well enough. As hungry as she was, Sarita didn’t have any dinner conversation. She wolfed down her portion of the pizza, following it with a tall glass of water at Astra’s direction.

    “You were a hungry girl! I’m glad I went for something quick, though I’m a little worried that you’re not eating right. Would you let me come over and cook for you sometimes?”

    “You’d do that?” Sarita was dumbfounded and certain her face wasn’t hiding it.

    “For my Little Girl? Of course. It’s going to take you a while to accept what taking care of you actually means, isn’t it?”

    “That’d be really nice, but you don’t have to do it.”

    “I know I don’t. I want to.”

    “Speaking of taking care of me – um – can we do something about…”

    “Are you asking for a diaper change, Little Girl? I need you to use your words. Can you say, ‘I need a diaper change, please’, if that’s what you need?”

    Sarita blushed furiously, hanging her head. “I n-need a – diaper change – please.”

    “Good girl!” Astra grinned and gave Sarita a quick, vigorous kiss. “You’re not ready for a change yet, though. Those diapers can hold a few wettings. I’ll put you in a nice dry one at bedtime.”

    “You’re not going to – change me?!”

    “Not unless you have a poopy accident.” Astra patted Sarita’s cheek and cleared the dishes.

    Whatever retort Sarita would have made was wiped from her mind by that last pronouncement. Luckily, she didn’t feel a need for that bodily function at all.

    “Now, I know it’s pretty late, way past your bedtime, but tonight is a special night. What would my Little Girl like to do before bed? Do you want to watch something? Play a game? Something else?”

    I want out of this diaper. Sarita sighed. She wasn’t sure what kinds of games were on offer, but if they were kiddie games, she didn’t have the patience for them. Being dominated was hot, but there were a lot of rough edges to the night so far.

    “I’m not sure what stuff you have to watch.”

    “I have just about any streaming service. If we really can’t find something, renting a movie is an option too.”

    “All of them? We could watch the show with the elves and the earrings?”

    “That new fantasy series? Great pick! I haven’t seen it yet and it looks fun.”

    In short order Sarita had her head in Astra’s lap and was getting her hair petted. She also had a sippy cup filled with water. At first, Sarita had refused the cup entirely, but Astra had insisted. It did make drinking easier while she was on her side.

    Astra’s soothing caresses would have put Sarita to sleep if the show wasn’t so interesting. After the first episode, Astra wanted to declare bedtime. Sarita argued that renting a movie had been an option, and that meant there had to be at least one more hour until bedtime, enough for a second episode.

    Engaging with the game got Astra to relent on bedtime. Polishing off her water got Sarita more praise and a scalp massage. By the middle of episode two, she was sleepy and relaxed enough that she almost had a real accident. As soon as Sarita was aware of her need, her body clamped down, thankfully!

    It’s all fun and games until I’m wetting myself like I used to in elementary school.

    Elven politics, already convoluted, became impossible to follow as Sarita crossed her legs and fought the urge to wet.

    “Are you getting restless sweetie? We can pause it here – oh, I see. Potty time again?”

    “No, please.” Sarita whimpered. “I can go after you take this one off.”

    “And get your nighttime diaper wet? I don’t think you’ll like that at all. Go ahead, Little Girl. You’ve done it once, it won’t be so bad the second time.”

    “Do I have to?” Sarita whined.

    “You do. But maybe that makes it easier for you. It did in the kitchen, didn’t it? If it’s something I’m making you do?”

    Sarita would have considered that, had she been allowed. Instead, Astra pulled the diapered girl into her lap and nuzzled her cheek. Just as she was relaxing into the cuddles, Sarita felt a hand press down on her bladder. Caught off guard, she soaked the padding again.

    It wasn’t as bad as the last time. She’d been feeling soggy already, so the fresh wetness mostly added the sensation of warmth. Once again, Astra praised and petted Sarita, holding her close.

    I’m never going to believe I’m a good girl for wetting my pants. Not after the disaster that fourth grade was.

    Though the praise wasn’t any more believable, the intimacy kept Sarita from feeling disgusting. The best she could say was that it wasn’t traumatic. That, and it made Astra really happy. Sarita supposed she could put up with a little weirdness for a hot girlfriend that was an actual adult. Especially one that could deliver mind-blowing orgasms.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 6

    If Astra was trying to make a dry diaper seem appealing, by making Sarita sit in a wet one until bedtime, she had managed that much. The wet diaper was souring Sarita on diapers as a whole, so as a strategy it was pretty dubious. Still, after sex, food, and snuggles, Sarita was ready to be a good sport.

    When Astra lead Sarita to a changing blanket on the bed, she lay on it obediently. Despite the weirdness of her situation, Sarita genuinely giggled when Astra tickled her sides. Astra was gorgeous in her deep V-neck dress. She had a thing for them. And I am here for it!

    “What a cute Little Girl you are,” Astra cooed. “Can I put you in pajamas tonight?”

    “Because you want to see me topless?” Sarita smirked.

    “That’s one good reason, but I also think you’ll be really cute in pajamas.”

    “I’ll wear them – if I get to see you topless too.”

    Astra laughed. “Greedy girl. You’ve been wanting to see these for a while, haven’t you?”

    Leaning way over the bed, Astra gave Sarita a great look at the depths of her impressive cleavage. Sarita licked her lips, blushing at having her thirst revealed.

    “You’re so beautiful…”

    “What a darling girl.” Astra beamed.

    Slowly, Astra peeled the shoulders of her dress off. With a sexy wiggle, she slunk out of the dress. Her diaper forgotten, Sarita sat up and stared. Astra’s mommy-look extended way past the dress. She had a classy white satin bra on, with a matching lace slip.

    Astra turned away to unclasp her bra. Sarita would have teased her for putting on such a show, if she wasn’t enjoying it so much. Drinking in the sight of Astra’s smooth back, Sarita bit her lip as the tension built. She was transfixed when Astra turned to reveal her gorgeous, womanly bust.

    “I can tell you like what you see.” Astra crawled onto the bed with Sarita, bringing her generous breasts dangerously close to Sarita’s face.

    “Y-yes.” Sarita licked her lips again, swaying toward Astra before she caught herself.

    “Does my Little Girl need something?”

    Astra put a hand behind Sarita’s head and gently pulled. Sarita didn’t need any more encouragement. Her lips walked the warm softness of Astra’s breasts before enclosing Astra’s nipple. The moan that bubbled out of Astra was primal.

    Suddenly feeling hot herself, Sarita sucked gently. She had a chance to give back some of the ecstasy Astra had given her. Evening the scales would go a long way to make her feel like more of a date than a plaything.

    When Astra pulled Sarita into her lap, the diapered girl was too focused on giving her lover pleasure to notice the way she was sitting. It wasn’t until Astra guided Sarita’s head to her other nipple that Sarita realized she was being cradled in Astra’s arms like a breastfeeding infant.

    Feeling off balance, Sarita pulled back and hesitated. Astra’s desperate whine was too cute to ignore, however. Likewise, the satisfied shiver that ran across Astra when Sarita returned her mouth to Astra’s nipple was a delight. It was nice to feel not only that she was contributing to their sexy evening, but like she had at least a little power.

    The breastfeeding thing is weird, but it’s really getting her off. I wish she’d say something before she does more new kink, though.

    Sarita was enraptured to see Astra tremble and moan from nothing more than the sensation on her nipples. It might have been a small orgasm, but Sarita was honestly jealous of Astra’s was so sensitivity.

    Beaming at each other, they cuddled while Astra’s happy chemicals had her brain in the clouds. Sharing little kisses was another delight, at least until Sarita shifted positions. A wet squish on her rear brought her forgotten diaper back into harsh relief.

    “That was magical.” Astra murmured.

    Sarita had been planning to say something about being pushed into pretend breastfeeding without discussion – but Astra was far too adorable and happy. They could always talk later.

    “I’m glad I could do something for you.”

    “That was really bothering you, wasn’t it?”

    “It was, but I feel better now.”

    “I wasn’t kidding when I said I get what I need from taking care of you – though that was a really nice bonus.”

    I don’t like feeling like your toy. Plus we still haven’t talked about the other girls – assuming Pauline knows what she’s talking about, and there actually are other girls…

    “You can get a bonus whenever you want. But um – can I get out of this diaper?”

    “Of course sweetie. I was about to change you before your request to see my girls.”

    Sarita stuck her tongue out at Astra and lay on the changing blanket. It was a great relief to get the soggy padding off. Even better was having crisp wet wipes cleaning her now-itchy bottom. Happily, Sarita surrendered her work-blouse and sweater. A bit more bashfully, she took her bra off and handed it to Astra.

    “What a beautiful girl!”

    Sarita searched Astra’s expression for any trace of exaggeration or patronizing, but she seemed genuine. For one thing, Astra wasn’t meeting Sarita’s gaze, she had her eyes firmly on Sarita’s chest. Astra’s tunnel vision gave Sarita a nice confidence boost, enough for her to show off a bit by arching her back.

    “Don’t you start again. We are already up way later than we should be.”

    “Start what?” Sarita giggled mischievously.

    “Are you risking another spanking already?”

    “Oh! Yes please!”

    “You are going to be a handful for sure.” Astra smiled broadly, leaning down to plant a tender kiss on Sarita.

    Full of cozy romantic feelings, Sarita didn’t protest the new diaper at all. The lotion Astra put on felt good enough that she wondered why lotion wasn’t a normal post-sex thing. The diaper change took a turn for the embarrassing with the introduction of an extra absorbent pad and the baby powder, but not enough to ruin the mood.

    “What’s with the pad?”

    “I’m too tired to wake up and check you in the middle of the night, so this diaper has to last you all the way until morning.”

    Sticking her tongue out was no longer sufficient, Sarita upgraded her scornful gesture to blowing a raspberry at Astra.

    “I’m not a bedwetter.” Those days are totally done, thank you very much.

    “Then there won’t be a problem either way.” Astra rubbed Sarita’s belly. “Ready for your jamies and bed?”

    Sarita yawned. “Do I get to pick what you sleep in?”

    “I usually sleep naked.”

    “You already know all my favorites!” Sarita laughed.

    The pajamas were velvety. They were also one-piece, and zipped up the back with a button at the top. By the time she dressed for bed, Sarita could feel herself crashing. Too sleepy to question anything except why she wasn’t under the covers yet, Sarita snuggled close to Astra with a contented sigh.

    “I usually sleep naked too. It’s going to be warm in these.” Sarita yawned massively.

    “You’re going to be my little furnace. I’m always cold at night.” Astra pulled Sarita close and set the diapered girl’s head on her shoulder.

    “Deal.” Sarita yawned again.

    —-

    Disoriented, Sarita opened her eyes. The rumbling noise that had woken her was coming from the Rubenesque lady snoring next to her. That bit of information cleared up a lot of things, and sent a trickle of warmth into Sarita’s chest.

    Unfortunately, there was something else that wanted to trickle. Sarita groaned softly, wincing at the pressure in her bladder. Remembering that Astra had made Sarita drink a full glass of water before bed made the snoring beauty a lot less cute. Sarita set about squirming out from under the leg and arm Astra had draped over her.

    “Hmm? Oh, good morning Little Girl.”

    “Morning.” Sarita said, slipping free and sitting up.

    “Where are you going?” Despite her sleepy yawn, Astra was quick to grab Sarita’s waist and pull her away from the edge of the bed.

    “Bathroom.”

    “You’re wearing a diaper, remember? There’s no reason to stop our lovely cuddles.”

    Sarita sighed and rolled her eyes. Am I done with this game for now? she asked her inner self.

    You are three hundred percent done, her inner self replied.

    “Astra, last night was super fun, but I need to take a break. Maybe we can play more later today, but I need a normal morning.”

    “Oh no you don’t. You promised! You’re my diaper girl all day today.”

    “I know I did, but that was right in the middle of sex.”

    “You still promised! You’re my Little Girl all day today, and I told you I was going to keep you in diapers.”

    “You also told me I could take a break when I needed to. Well, I need to.” Sarita pushed away from Astra. All the happy feelings had gone sour. Under the sour stomach was a knot of guilt in her gut.

    Why do I have to be the one who ruins our morning? I offered to play later!

    “Sarita, honey, don’t be a party pooper, please. I was really looking forward to a beautiful day together. We had so much fun last night. You took to it faster than – almost anyone I’ve seen. I know you’d love being a Little Girl if you’d give it a real chance.”

    Faster than who? Damnit, there really are other girls. Shit! Who’s pajamas am I wearing? They sure aren’t Astra’s.

    “I had fun for some of last night,” Sarita said bitterly. Before Astra could guilt-trip her again, she rolled out of the other woman’s arms and climbed out of bed.

    “What are you saying?”

    “I need a break, like I said!”

    Sarita wobbled a little with the unfamiliar bulk between her legs. She felt bad leaving her last statement hanging in the air, but having her legs forced apart was upping the bathroom urgency. A quick waddle carried her to the bathroom. Despite her discomfort, she made sure to lock the door behind her.

    Fumbling with the damn button at the back of her neck had Sarita on the edge of wetting her diaper. In her haste to get the zipper down, she heard something tear in the pajamas. It didn’t matter. She was getting out of her diaper and using the toilet if she had to wreck the entire bathroom to do it!

    With her pajamas and thick diaper in a puddle around her ankles, Sarita stared grumpily at her powdered crotch. She kicked the whole mess away and she did her business. Relieving her morning pressure helped pull her emotions back from a meltdown. Washing her face and finding a towel to wrap around her helped too. Combing the tangles out of her hair was the final step that made her feel like she could handle Astra.

    When she stepped out of the bathroom, Sarita felt a fresh knot of guilt in her gut. Astra looked sad and hurt, standing in the bedroom doorway. Sarita sighed and smoothed her hair back.

    “Sarita, I’m really sorry.” Astra looked at her soulfully. “I didn’t realize you were so upset. I thought you were bratting or – or – I thought we were both having fun last night.”

    “I had fun with a lot of stuff last night.” Sarita said sighing. “But some of it was – a lot. I needed a break this morning.”

    “I’m so sorry I didn’t listen. I was still sleepy, but that’s not an excuse. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

    “You didn’t exactly hurt me – Astra, you push a lot. I don’t feel like I’m your girlfriend, I feel like a toy.”

    “You’re not a toy! That’s not what being a Little Girl is about! Please, Sarita, believe me. I really care about you. Last night was really special for me.”

    Sarita’s stomach churned. If she’d had any breakfast, it would have come up on the spot. As much as she didn’t want to prolong the confrontation, she couldn’t let Astra’s statement go without a response.

    “How many other girls are there? I heard from – someone – that I’m not your only Little Girl. Who – who’s pajamas was I wearing?”

    “It’s not like that, it’s just – girls I play with at the Green Fairy!”

    “That’s where we met!”

    “Sarita, what’s happening? I don’t understand why you’re so angry with me. I want to take care of you. Taking you in my arms last night when we fell asleep was wonderful.” Astra had twin trails of tears shining on her cheeks.

    “I need to find my clothes. Nero is probably freaking out that I’m not home.”

    “What? We’re not going to spend the day together? I had a breakfast planned – you’re – you’re not taking a break from us, are you? Just the game? Right?”

    I should take a break from her for a while, Sarita thought. Voicing that thought felt like unimaginably cruel. Astra was really crying now, she looked as scared as she was upset. She screwed up. Everyone screws up, I know better than anybody. She obviously means well.

    “Not from us.” Sarita sighed. “I need to think about stuff. I’m sorry about the breakfast. I think it’s better if I – go home. We can try again another time.”

    “Okay.” Astra nodded, wiping her tears away. She looked empty, heartbroken. It was almost enough to change Sarita’s mind. Would have been enough indeed, if Astra hadn’t retreated to the bedroom right then.

    Dressed in a fluffy robe, Astra gathered Sarita’s clothes and handed them to her. Her only comment was a quiet, “I was going to wash them for you.”

    By the time Sarita was dressed and had collected her purse, Astra had coffee going. The smell kept Sarita in the apartment long enough for a cup and a piece of toast. Astra cheered up considerably to be able to feed Sarita something, though they ate in strained silence.

    Hovering awkwardly near the door, Sarita tried to think of something to say. Seeing Astra’s hangdog expression, she couldn’t help but feel for the other woman.

    “Astra…” Sarita smiled awkwardly at the hopeful way Astra’s eyes lit up. “I’m glad you found me in the Pony last night. Thanks.”

    “Oh.” Astra put on a brave smile. “You’re welcome. I’m sorry our morning turned out like this. I’m sorry for – pushing too much.”

    “Can I get a hug?” Sarita asked softly.

    “Yes please.” Astra hurried over, throwing her arms around Sarita and holding her tightly. Sarita sighed and laid her head on the other woman’s shoulder.

    “I’ll text you. Or if I forget, you can text me.”

    “I will. But – I’ll give you space at least until the afternoon, okay?”

    Sarita nodded. “Thank you. I um – I’ll talk to you later.”

    Astra brushed her knuckles longingly against Sarita’s cheek. Opening the door felt like pushing through a brick wall. Stepping out of the apartment was tough too, but easier than the door had been. With a cute wave, Sarita forced herself to move down the hall. When the door closed behind her, the sound sent equal parts ease and remorse into her heart.

    That was a hell of a morning after. Maybe I should have played along. It’s not like I didn’t pee in the first diaper, twice. Astra looked so upset. Ugh! Am I a bad girlfriend?

    —–

    The walk back was a long one. Sarita didn’t have the patience to check her phone to see if her bank account had taxi money. Though it was a longer walk than she’d taken in ages, the effort helped clear the turmoil from her mind. By the time she was back in her neighborhood, Sarita was feeling whimsical enough to laugh at her rumpled work-outfit.

    I think that’s my first five-mile walk of shame.

    As she’d predicted, Nero was apoplectic. He read her the riot act from the couch, the top of a bookshelf, and as he precariously perched atop a kitchen chair. Nor would he allow any petting until his food and water dish had both been checked.

    Satisfied that Sarita had not left him to die, Nero ate a single kibble from his bowl and switched to begging for attention. Relentless meows forced Sarita to skip her shower and real clothes. In her own pajamas, Sarita curled up on the couch and petted her aggressively purring kitty. Nero made sure Sarita knew who was boss, licking her hand until he made a raw spot. Tapping his nose in admonishment succeeded in switching Nero to biscuit-making mode.

    With at least a minor reprieve from her cat, Sarita checked her phone. There were no messages from Astra. She surprised herself with a big sigh of relief at Astra respecting her space.

    In a fit of loneliness, Sarita messaged Nohemi, asking if she could call. To her grateful surprise, Nohemi said yes immediately.

    “Hi Mimi.”

    “Hi Sarita. You okay?”

    “I think so. I had kind of a rough morning.” The night wasn’t so smooth either.

    “Want to tell me about it, or do you want to talk about other stuff to take your mind off it?”

    It’d be hard to explain without telling Mimi about the diapers. I don’t know if she knows what Astra is into, it wouldn’t be okay to out Astra.

    “Take my mind off it, I guess.”

    “I could do better than talking if you want. My abuela brought me a huge batch of tamales. I could bring you some to freeze, and some to eat.”

    “You don’t have to do that. My apartment is a mess, I’m still in my pajamas…”

    “If you don’t want to, it’s totally okay! . I’m in sweats myself, I’m not looking for anything fancy. I do have to offload some of these tamales. Abuela brought me a hundred of them”

    “A hundred tamales? Seriously?”

    “Abuela is pretty sure I’m incapable of feeding myself.” Nohemi laughed. “What do you say? Help a girl out, eat tamales?”

    “I don’t know…” Sarita teased. “What kind are they?”

    “Let me check.” After a moment of silence, the sound of rustling plastic and rattling frozen food came through the connection. “This one says frijoles, this one carnitas, barbacoa – last kind says caliente. I’m a little nervous about those, to be honest. Abuela has an iron tongue.”

    Sarita giggled. “Bring whatever you want – but at least a few of the caliente ones.”

    “I’ll be right there! After you text me your address.”

    Sarita sent her address and pulled Nero into a hug so tight he yowled in protest. Meowing about Sarita’s betrayal, he leapt off her lap and climbed to the top of his cat tower. A quick look around the apartment confirmed Sarita’s suspicion that there was no way to get the place clean before Nohemi came over, even if she lived as far away as Astra did.

    At least the dishes are done. Thanks for real, Astra. I can probably get the laundry out of the way before Mimi gets here.

    There was enough time to pack the laundry into the hamper. Happily, there was time to get the toothpaste off the bathroom faucet and wipe the toilet too. Sarita surprised Nohemi and herself with the intensity of the hug she gave her friend when she arrived. Nero didn’t hide from Nohemi, but he stayed on top of his tower, glowering at them.

    After letting Nohemi pack an extremely generous twenty-tamales into her freezer, Sarita warmed a pair of caliente tamales and a pair of carnitas ones. It was nice to not be judged for her messy apartment while they waited for the food to heat.

    Ensconced on the couch with one of each tamale flavor, Sarita took a bite of the hot one under Nohemi’s expectant gaze. Immediately, she coughed and took a drink of water.

    “How many chiles does your abuela PUT in those? Is this Carolina reaper?”

    “It’s only habanero, but she pickles them and however she does it makes them crazy hot.” Nohemi laughed and took a bite of her own caliente tamale, carefully.

    “Your abuela is a tough lady.” Sarita smiled as the burn turned delicious on her tongue. She took another bite, a smaller one for the second try.

    “She’s the best.” Nohemi smiled contentedly. “Feeling better? There’s nothing like homemade tamales to turn your day around.”

    “Lots, thanks for coming over. Thanks for not mentioning the mess too.”

    “Huh? This isn’t bad.” Nohemi shrugged. “It’s not like you have a bunch of dirty laundry on the floor or gross dishes in the sink.”

    “Right!” Sarita laughed nervously. “That’d be really embarrassing. Do you have today off?”

    “Yeah. We have a big job this weekend, and the jefe let us off a couple of days in the week.”

    “Your boss sounds great.” Sarita sighed enviously. “I’m off today too. If Britt hasn’t called by now, she won’t call me in today.”

    “Don’t you have any set schedule at all?”

    “I do, but it changes all the time.”

    “Girl, you need another job so bad.”

    “I know, I know.”

    “I won’t push.” Nohemi shrugged, motioning at Sarita’s empty plate. “Can I take your plate?”

    “Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

    “You saved my day off from being nothing but staring at my phone. Least I can do is clean a bit.” Nohemi snagged the plate and took it to wash in the sink along with her own.

    “Thanks. You don’t have to take care of me or anything though.”

    “You invited me over when you were having a super rough morning.” Nohemi said. “Why shouldn’t I take care of you? Be a good host. Pick us something on TV to ignore while we talk.”

    “Alright, fine.” Sarita laughed. Searching through her entertainment options had her settling on a documentary about seals.

    “Is it cool if I put my backpack by this radiator? It got a little damp from the frost on the tamales.”

    “Sure, you can move the towel rack if you need to.”

    “Thanks. Over here by these bags okay for it?”

    “What bags?” Sarita looked over, in time to see Nohemi lifting one of the large plain bags from the ABDL store. “Wait! Those are…”

    Nohemi had already looked in the bag. Her eyebrows went rose. Sarita grabbed a throw pillow and hid behind it.

    Stupid! Stupid, stupid! Why did I bother wiping the bathroom instead of hiding those?

    “You okay? Sarita? It’s only diapers, they’re not a big deal. I’m only surprised you have so many of them. Does Astra already have you wearing them all the time?”

    “What?!” Sarita peeked out from around the pillow. “You know about her?”

    “Um, yes? We both go to the Green Fairy.”

    “But there’s lots of rooms there, I didn’t know which one was yours.” Sarita thrust the pillow back in front of her flaming face. “I’m such an idiot.”

    “You’re not an idiot.” Nohemi laughed. “Dumbass maybe. Seriously though, are you okay? Did you have a fight with Astra?”

    “Yes,” Sarita said, directly into the pillow.

    “Want to talk about it?” The old couch creaked a bit as Nohemi sat.

    “They’re not mine!” Sarita said, peeking over the pillow.

    “Woah, I’m not judging you.”

    “They aren’t though! I’ve only worn one – uh, two diapers. And one pullup! I didn’t pee in the pullup either!”

    “Cálmate, mija.  Still not judging.”

    “They really aren’t mine though. I’m supposed to decorate them.”

    “Oh! For the munch group,”

    “You know about them too?”

    “Sarita, my besties are in that group.”

    “That doesn’t necessarily mean…”

    “Let’s just clear up confusion and say that I’ve been to that group in the past and I know about Oriana and Nieves wearing diapers.”

    Nohemi nudged Sarita’s foot with one of hers. “I’m really not judging! I’m sure I’ve worn and handled way more diapers than you have. I was headed for the teddy bear room the night we met.”

    “Oh. Why didn’t you say anything? We never went in there.”

    “Because you didn’t know anything about ABDL. I wasn’t going to drag you into a kink you’d never heard of the same night we met.”

    “But then I ruined your night! You didn’t get to do the thing you waited a long time to do.” Sarita frowned. Nohemi had a super reasonable, kind look on her face. She wasn’t cooperating with Sarita’s martyrdom at all.

    “I met a new, great person. I had a good night that night, I promise.”

    “I’ll go with you this month, if you want.”

    “What? You don’t have to do that if you’re not comfortable.”

    Sarita watched curiously as Nohemi’s cheeks reddened. Belatedly, she realized, it could be weird to have a friend watch you do kink stuff. She was glad there hadn’t been an audience for her and Astra’s activities last night.

    “Oh right, uh, I guess I don’t know what exactly you do in there. Sorry to make it weird.”

    “Huh? You didn’t make it weird. It’s – never mind, it’s all good.” Nohemi’s blush deepened. She shifted a bit on the couch and took a deep breath. “We can go together if you want, next time I’m off on a Green Fairy night.”

    “It’s okay if I don’t. I didn’t think before I offered. I’m not sure what you do in there and…”

    “Sarita, chill back.” Nohemi made a T with her hands. “Time out. Basta. We can figure the Fairy out later, if I’m even off when the club is open next. I’m still worried about you. What happened this morning?”

    “Astra and I had a fight.” Sarita wrapped herself around the pillow.

    “About the diapers?”

    “How’d you know?”

    “Well, besides it being the number one source of conflict for new people that Astra dates, you were pretty defensive about the ones I found.”

    “We did a bunch of diaper stuff last night and it was okay I guess, but it was a lot. Then she wanted me to use another diaper in the morning and – I needed a break.”

    “Sounds reasonable.”

    “She was super sad though. I feel terrible. We had a whole fun day planned, and I ruined it.”

    “A fun day for both of you, or a fun day for Astra?”

    Sarita sighed. “No fair being perceptive.”

    “I wasn’t there, but I haven’t heard anything you did wrong so far.” Nohemi leaned over and squeezed Sarita’s shoulder.

    There was no thought, only action. Sarita ditched the pillow and went in for a hug. After a few moments, she realized Nohemi wasn’t hugging back. Before she could panic, Sarita felt Nohemi’s arms slowly enclose her.

    “Sorry I didn’t ask.” Sarita said, compounding her personal space invasion by resting her head on Nohemi’s shoulder. She couldn’t help it, it was such a nice, solid shoulder.

    “It’s okay.” Nohemi said, with an odd catch in her voice. “You really needed a hug.”

    “I did.” Sarita sighed, shuddering. It took a lot of willpower to keep from crawling into Nohemi’s lap, with how comforting the embrace was.

    That’d be outside of friend territory though, wouldn’t it? Nohemi and I aren’t at bestie level yet. I don’t want to send mixed signals.

    “Oh, hi there.”

    Sarita looked up to see Nero delicately sniffing Nohemi’s hair. To her shock, the little black cat leaned in and rubbed his cheek against Nohemi’s ear.

    “What’s this cutie’s name?”

    “Nero.” Sarita shook her head, sitting up. “He’s never friendly with new people. Usually he hides under my bed.”

    “Thanks for the stamp of approval then, Nero.” Nohemi said, offering her hand to sniff. Once Nero had sniffed and rubbed his cheek on her hand, Nohemi lightly patted his head. Nero didn’t tolerate that half-hearted nonsense for more than a few seconds. He meowed and rubbed his head against Nohemi’s hand, until she was properly scratching him behind the ears.

    Sarita giggled. “Look at you Nero, shamelessly sucking up to Nohemi. She’s pretty great, huh?”

    “You think so?” Nohemi smiled bashfully.

    “Of course I do. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. You rescued my day and brought me tamales.”

    “Oh, yeah.” Nohemi shrugged awkwardly. “I like to take care of people I care about.”

    “You’re the best.” Sarita gave Nohemi a squeeze and sat back on her part of the couch. “Oh, do you want to do nails? I can do any pride flag, or paint little bees on them.”

    “Only bees?” Nohemi chuckled.

    “I’m not so good with other animals. I can do a cat face too, but it turns out cursed sometimes.”

    “I suck at nails. I’ll take a lesbian pride flag. Cats optional.”

    “Okay, I’ll try!” Sarita grinned and hopped up to retrieve her box of polishes. “Your nails need fixing. Do you ever use a file?”

    “Hey, a lot of gay girls don’t keep long nails. I work with my hands.”

    “Mine are short too, dummy, but they’re not full of snags like yours.”

    “Snags?!”

    “You heard me. Give me your hand. Your cuticles are a mess too.” Sarita retrieved a file from the box.

    “I didn’t realize I was getting a manicure today.” Nohemi laughed, offering Sarita her non-Nero-occupied hand.

    “I’m full of surprises.”

    “You’re not wrong.”

    “What’s that supposed to mean?”

    “It means whatever was the most insulting thing you thought of, when I said it.”

    “Oh! You bitch!”

    “Nice, sounds like it was a good one.”

    “Nerd.”

    “Dummy.”

    Sarita giggled, concentrating on carefully filing Nohemi’s nails. She looked at her friend’s face, catching another odd blush on Nohemi’s cheeks.

    I wonder if she’s not used to joking around like this. It seems like she would be though, if she’s friends with Oriana and Nieves. Maybe she’s embarrassed about her nails. They’re really bad. Well, that’s something I can do for her.

    Happily, Sarita filed away on Nohemi’s nails as the documentary droned in the background. At the rate Nero was getting petted, his purrs were threatening to drown out the TV. It was the happiest and most comfortable Sarita could remember being in her apartment for a long time.

    I should expand my social circle for sure. Maybe I can invite Oriana and Nieves over. Or maybe I can invite Pauline. If Astra isn’t exclusive, I can see other women. She never answered me about other girls, not really!

    When a text notification popped up, Sarita booted her phone under the couch. She didn’t know if it was from Astra, or her boss, but either way they could wait. After all her generosity and kindness, Nohemi deserved to be the center of attention for a while.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 7

    Sarita didn’t retrieve her phone from under the couch until Nohemi was gone. As she’d suspected, the notification had been from Astra. For a pleasant surprise, there were only two texts from Astra. Neither text was pushy.

    Reasonable communication was exactly what Sarita needed to see. Instead of feeling emotionally fraught, reconnecting with Astra was a relief. Text messages couldn’t fix everything they’d broken that morning. That was okay. After an hour on texts, Sarita felt good about meeting Astra to work out the rest. She was looking forward to it, in fact.

    There was still the issue of Astra’s other partners, and how involved she as with them. Astra hadn’t mentioned other girls, or littles for that matter. Sarita didn’t want to get into a topic that spicy over texts. Hopefully Astra had the same reason for avoiding the topic.

    As much as things were improved with Astra, Sarita felt like keeping her options open was smart. With a rare confirmation from her boss that she had the next two days off, Sarita had another evening to fill. A quick text to Pauline secured a date at the Pony.

    “I warned you Nero, I’m going to have a social life now.”

    Nero didn’t respond. He was full on pets from Nohemi’s visit and was busy watching birds outside the living room window. Sarita ruffled her kitty’s fur anyway, chuckling at his indignant squawk.

    “Sorry for bugging you during your telenovelas, Nero.”

    Without a kitty or friends to distract her, Sarita was forced to confront the state of her apartment. Laundry was the most critical chore by far. Sarita stuffed as many clothes as would fit into an army surplus duffel, and dragged the heavy bag to the laundromat.

    Though she’d managed to remember her jar of quarters at the last minute, Sarita forgot her phone in the process. Her brain retreated from the excruciating ordeal of sitting around for hours without a screen to stimulate her. Hours flew by whenever Sarita zoned out. If she paid attention, they crawled.

    By the time she made it home, she was too fuzzy-brained to open the duffel, let alone fold her clothes. Dinner consisted of the last third of a bag of potato chips that were in a still-edible state of stale. She was off to bed early, with Nero curled against the small of her back.

    —–

    Sarita’s day off had an ambitious start. Grandiose plans like getting all the laundry folded were derailed by a combination of tv-binging and doom-scrolling. If she hadn’t set herself an alarm to get ready for her date with Pauline, she might have missed that too. As it was, the alarm caught her off-guard. Sarita had expected to already be showered by the time the reminder beeped at her. Like almost everything else, a shower hadn’t happened.

    What should have been leisurely date prep became a mad scramble to get clean, made up, and dressed. Fashion went out the window in favor of picking the least-wrinkled clothes in the duffel. Given her choices, Sarita decided she might as well go in uniform.

    Black jeans, a black tee, and her red flannel shirt were a lot more plain than Sarita would have liked. At least they’re a good fit for The Pony, Sarita thought, checking herself out in the mirror.

    Sarita was vindicated when she got to the Pony, Pauline hadn’t gone for fancy dress either. Both girls burst out laughing as they met outside the bar. Pauline was in uniform as well, though her flannel was blue.

    “As soon as we go inside everyone is going to think we planned this,” Sarita said, still giggling.

    “Let them. It makes us cute.” Pauline took Sarita’s arm and headed inside.

    As she predicted, as soon as the regulars caught sight of Sarita, there was a chorus of chuckles and a few exclamations of, “Girl, really?” They bellied up to the bar. Sarita stuck her tongue out at Ineis pre-emptively. The bartender had sass written all over her face.

    “Girls, you’re a day late. Terrible stereotype night was last night!” Ineis said.

    “Oh, the cleverness of you.” Sarita said dryly.

    “Kitty has claws! Do I get an introduction to the lovely lady on your arm?”

    “This is Pauline,” Sarita said. “Pauline, this is Ineis, but you can call her Pain-in-the-Butt.”

    “Pleased to mee you, Mrs. Butt.” Pauline said.

    “Please call me Pain. Mrs. Butt is my mother. What can I get you girls?”

    “Beer,” Sarita said, adjusting her budget down, since she wasn’t sure if Pauline expected Sarita to pay for drinks.

    “Um…” Pauline studied the dingy chalkboard behind Ineis. “The house white wine I guess? Plus a glass of water and the location of the bathroom.”

    “One beer, one white, and a pitcher of water coming up. Toilets are through the door over there.”

    Sarita took a sip of her beer as soon as Ineis poured it. “Are you going to give me crap about bringing two girls here in three nights?”

    “You didn’t bring the first one, she showed on her own. I like the new girl, she doesn’t have the same pushy energy.”

    “Yeah, tell me about it.”

    “Something happen?”

    “Nothing scary or bad. Just – drama.” Sarita shrugged. “We’re working it out.”

    “Yeah, I can see.” Ineis motioned toward the bathroom.

    “I don’t have to date one person at a time. Astra isn’t exclusive either.”

    “No need to get defensive, I think it’s healthy. Might be healthier to forget about Astra.”

    “You don’t know her, that’s not fair.”

    “Tienes razón. I’ll stop meddling.”

    “No, you won’t.” Sarita laughed.

    “You’re right. Ever since you had your twenty first here, you’re stuck with me watching out for you.”

    “I really appreciate it, Ineis. I know I tease, but you’ve been so kind to me. Thank you.”

    “You bet, kiddo. I’ll give you and your new girl space. Let me know if either of you needs anything.”

    “Gossiping about me?” Pauline asked, taking the seat next to Sarita.

    “Yup. Ineis knows all your secrets now.”

    “That didn’t take long. I need to get more interesting secrets.” Pauline bumped shoulders with Sarita and took a sip of her drink.

    Sarita smiled and caught Pauline’s hand. Their eyes met as their fingers intertwined. It wasn’t clear who leaned in first. They met halfway for a kiss that went from sweet to spicy when Pauline bit Sarita’s lip.

    “Are you having fun showing me off to your bar friends?”

    “Yes. Are you having fun being shown off?”

    Pauline smiled, tossing her short, caramel-colored hair like a shampoo model. “It’s pretty great. A nice change of pace from being in the scene all the time too. Thanks for inviting me.”

    “I have to warn you, I’m kind of boring. This is the only thing I do besides work and watch TV. I don’t have a follow-up activity planned or anything.”

    “I do. Oriana got me the pens for our little project. They’re sitting in my car. We could work on decorating tonight, or I could at least drop them off.”

    “What a good excuse to get into my apartment!” Sarita giggled.

    “I know right?! Three hundred IQ lesbian over here.”

    “You’re really modest too.”

    Pauline laughed and took a big gulp of her wine. “You got me. I’m nervous, actually.”

    “Nervous?”

    “I want tonight to go well.” Pauline’s cheeks were far more pink than the wine could account for.

    “I’m not used to being somebody who makes people nervous.” Sarita could feel her cheeks heating up as well.

    “I know I’m screwing up by mentioning another girl but – people don’t have a lot of luck competing with Astra.”

    Sarita wrinkled her nose. “You’re not being a pushy bitch, so you’re doing great so far.”

    “Oh shit, did something happen? Is she setting records for breakup speed now too?”

    “No, we’re still a thing it’s just that… Actually, I don’t want to talk about her! I want to talk about the hot girl who’s here with me.”

    “I’m hot, huh?”

    Sarita made a show of looking over Pauline’s curves. Her waist and hips were especially nice on the eyes. Meeting Pauline’s eyes again, Sarita was delighted to see the other woman excited and nervous.

    “You are.”

    “Does that mean I get to go home with you? Or am I being pushy?”

    “I don’t know if the question is pushy or thirsty but – yes, you can come up. I’m not promising overnight or anything.”

    “Mostly I want to kiss you somewhere no one is watching us.” Pauline’s voice fell to a quiet, husky tone.

    “That – is on the menu for sure.” Sarita grinned and took a gulp of her beer.

    “What do we do until then?”

    “The pool table is busy, but we could get in line. I could also destroy you at foosball.”

    “That sounds like a challenge!”

    “More of a promise.” Sarita waved at Ineis. “Foosballs please!”

    “You’re pretty cocky, but it’s not like this is my first time playing. Want to put a wager on it?”

    “As long as it’s not money.” Sarita said bashfully. “Rent is coming due soon.”

    “I hear that.” Pauline joined Sarita by the foosball table, bringing the pitcher of water along. “I want a kiss if I win.”

    “That’s all? I thought you were going to ask for…”

    “Kink stuff?” Pauline shook her head. “Nah, it’s too soon for that. But… I get to decide where on my body you kiss.”

    Sarita giggled, blushing as she nodded. “Deal. If I win I um… want a massage.”

    “Your choice of where I massage you, right?”

    “Just like your kiss, yeah.” Sarita took a gulp of her beer to smooth over the combination of thirst and cringe.

    “Sounds good.” Pauline extended her hand, Sarita shook it firmly.

    “You can go first.” Sarita handed a trio of balls to Pauline.

    “So cocky!” Pauline laughed and served a ball. The ball’s spin carried it to Sarita’s midfielders.

    A crisp snap of the wrist sent the ball between Pauline’s midfielders. An equally deft motion caught the ball under one of Sarita’s forwards. Pauline was still reaching for her defender’s handle when Sarita drove the ball into the goal with a resounding smack.

    Pauline stared at her goal for a moment. “That was luck, right?”

    “Sure it was. It’s your serve again.”

    “I can’t believe a cutie like you is sharking me.”

    “This is not sharking. I told you up front that I’m good.”

    In short order, the score was five goals for Sarita to none for Pauline. In fact, Pauline had only touched the ball twice. The first time was on her own serve, the second was a lucky block on a shot. Sarita sank that ball with a clean shot on the rebound.

    Laughing good-naturedly, Pauline suggested a handicap. Restricting Sarita to one hand allowed Pauline to score a few times. Even then, she couldn’t overcome Sarita’s lead. Finally, Pauline threw up her hands and surrendered.

    “You are devastating at foosball. It’s kind of hot.”

    “You’re a foosball groupie?” Sarita laughed.

    “I am now. Congratulations on winning your massage.”

    “Hmm, should I have you massage my wrists? They’re pretty sore from walking all over you in that game.”

    “Anywhere you want, babe.” Pauline fitted herself against Sarita and kissed her neck.

    Sarita’s breath caught in her throat. “I don’t want you to think I’m easy.”

    “I promise I won’t.” Pauline squeezed Sarita’s waist. “No matter what you let me do to you.”

    Sarita licked her lips and glanced at their drinks. Their glasses had been empty since the tenth goal or so.

    “Do you want another drink?”

    “I’d rather go to your place. I want to pay my debt off as soon as I can.”

    Sarita nuzzled Pauline’s cheek and planted a peck on her cheek. “Let’s go then.”

    “You should drink a glass of water first. I’ll get the tab.”

    “I can pay for my beer. Or – your drink too. I invited you out.”

    “Consider this a foosball victory perk.” Pauline gathered the foosballs and went to the bar before Sarita could protest any more.

    She probably does make more money than me. I guess it’s okay if she pays tonight. I can’t let it be every night, though.

    With laundry and dishes done, the apartment looked halfway presentable. Sarita decided not to apologize for the clutter so she wouldn’t call attention to it. It turned out to be a good call. Pauline’s attention was firmly on the breathless kisses she was giving and the greedy way she kept grabbing Sarita’s rear to pull her closer.

    They transitioned to the couch before they’d done anything besides drop their bags. Sarita was pleasantly surprised to find herself on top, taking the lead with an increasingly clingy Pauline. Taking a chance, she pinned Pauline’s wrists to the couch. Sarita’s risk was rewarded with a gasp from Pauline as she arched her back.

    “What are your boundaries?” Sarita kissed along Pauline’s collarbone. “Where do you want me to stop?”

    “I don’t know if I want you to stop anything but – ask again before you take my pants off.”

    “That works for me too.” Sarita smiled and lightly bit Pauline’s neck.

    “Ah!” Pauline squirmed, pushing her hips against the weight of Sarita straddling her. “Are you topping me? Do you want to do that?”

    Sarita heart and crotch thudded in time with each other. “If that’s something you want. It’s been a while since I have, but I like it with the right girl.”

    “What kind of girl is the right girl?”

    “Sassy, sexy hips, a little slutty. Has hair the color of burnt honey.” Sarita winked.

    “You think I’m slutty?” Pauline didn’t seem offended, but she was embarrassed.

    “A little. You hit on me pretty hard right off the bat. Almost begged me to come back to my place, you’re not sure if you want to set boundaries the first time we make out…”

    Pauline whined, struggling against Sarita’s hold on her wrists. Sarita put her weight forward. She could feel the other girl’s strength, it was enough to break the hold even with the way Sarita was leaning into the pin. Instead of fighting her way free, Pauline went limp.

    “Is that okay? You sound like you like it but…”

    “It’s insanely hot. I want to keep holding you like this to see how worked up you get.”

    “You don’t have to do that! We can go back to making out.”

    Sarita grinned wickedly. “I don’t know, I feel like I should extract a promise or secret from you before I give you what you want.”

    Pauline giggled. “Isn’t that basically truth or dare?”

    “It’s the meaner, grown up version of the game. Truth, dare, or frustration.” Sarita ground her hips slowly into Pauline.

    “Oh, that’s so unfair!” Pauline bit her lip and shivered. “Truth I guess.”

    “Scared of what I’d make you do?”

    Pauline blushed until her face was far darker than Sarita’s. She mumbled, “I’d already do almost anything.”

    She’s amazing, Sarita thought, through her horny haze. It feels fantastic to have somebody want me so much.

    “If this wasn’t our first time making out, what’s the thing you’d want the most? What’s the thing that would drive you crazy?”

    “I should have picked dare.” Pauline fought Sarita’s hold again, until Sarita had to press down with her full strength and weight. When Pauline abandoned her struggles she was panting, her eyes half-lidded.

    “Too late to change your mind. Tell me.”

    “It’s – kink stuff. ABDL stuff. I don’t know how comfortable you are with that kind of kink.”

    “I won’t judge you. I don’t think I’ll be grossed out. It might be something that’s off limits tonight anyway. I have to ask before I even take your pants off, remember?”

    “You wouldn’t need to take my pants off, or yours.” Pauline bit her lip in embarrassment. “It’s um… watersports. I’d want you to – let go – on me.”

    Sarita was far too horny to be grossed out. Seeing Pauline worked up by merely talking about wetting was titillating. Playing with Astra had Sarita seeing the sexy side of potty-things. She surprised herself by grinding against Pauline in response.

    As she flexed her hips, Sarita’s body took a moment to remind her that her bladder was still full from the bar. She could let go on Pauline without any prep. For a wild moment she considered it. Sarita was already so wet downstairs, it was hard to tell if she’d let anything trickle out or not. Either way, she clamped down on her bladder quickly.

    I do not want to clean pee out of the couch. Plus, Pauline didn’t ask me to pee on her right now. It’s her fantasy for another time. Her fantasy was WAY hotter than I expected, though.

    Pauline had her eyes closed and her head turned to the side. She was breathing in little gasps, her pulse pounding so hard Sarita could see it fluttering in Pauline’s neck. Delicately, she lowered herself and pressed her teeth to a nipple that was tenting out of Pauline’s clothes.

    “Ah!” Pauline bucked, quivering under Sarita.

    “Did you – come?” Sarita released Pauline’s wrists in surprise.

    “Close,” Pauline whispered. “Please say something about what I said. Was it okay?”

    “It was hot as hell.” Sarita laid herself on Pauline, lips brushing the other girl’s ear as she spoke. “I didn’t expect it to be sexy. I was so turned on, I almost did it right then.”

    “You – ah – almost really…”

    “Almost wet on you.”

    Pauline shuddered and dug her fingers into Sarita’s back. “I changed my mind about the pants. I’ll do anything you want. You can do anything you want to me. Please.”

    Sarita bit Pauline’s ear, sliding her hands roughly under the other girl to grab her rear. They writhed against each other for untracked time, tasting each other’s lips, necks, and collarbones. Sarita found herself kissing Pauline’s bare breasts with no memory of when the other girl’s shirt had come off. She gasped to feel Pauline’s hands on her bare chest at the same time.

    Legs tangled together, they ground against each other until a trembling shocks of pleasure took the edge off their lust. By unspoken agreement, they held each other quietly, not quite satisfied, but freed from the desperate desire that had held them earlier.

    “I’m really glad you switched seats at the munch.” Sarita tugged at her jeans. It did little to fix the sticky dampness on her crotch, but it relieved her denim-wedgie at least.

    “Oh god, me too.” Pauline sighed happily. She craned her neck to give Sarita a tender kiss.

    This is so much better than everything with Astra – well, except for that spanking. Dios mío, I’ve never come that hard.

    Sarita nuzzled Pauline and tried to read the feelings in her own heart. Unfortunately, her heart had nothing in the way of a decision between the Pauline and Astra.

    I should be careful. I feel like I’m letting my pussy make all the decisions right now. Somebody could get hurt.

    Pauline was warm under Sarita’s hands and a little twitchy too. Sarita could sympathize. Her body wanted more too. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anywhere to raise the ante except the bed – and she’d already decided against that for their first night.

    I can’t believe I went that fast with Astra. On the other hand, Astra gave me an idea that will work with Pauline’s kink.

    “Are you still turned on too?” Sarita asked Pauline, brushing her palm under the other girl’s breasts.

    “Yes but…”

    “You don’t want to hop in bed? Me too.” Sarita nodded. “I have an idea for something different we could do, it’d play with your kink a little.”

    “Are you sure you want that? I’m okay if it’s not for you.”

    “I don’t know how much ABDL stuff I want to do. I’m figuring that out. The idea I had sounds hot to me right now.”

    “What is it?”

    “You have to pee, right? I could take you to the bathroom and – watch you go.”

    Pauline swallowed hard. Her voice came out in a tiny whisper. “Okay yeah, that’s hot”

    Sarita grinned and climbed off Pauline. It was hard to relinquish the warm, sexy-soft closeness with the other girl. On the plus side, she got a great look at Pauline’s bare chest. Sarita helped Pauline off the couch and lead her by the hand to the bathroom.

    “Do I take your pants off too or…?” Sarita smiled awkwardly. “I know you wanted to be topped, but I don’t know what I’m doing with this stuff.”

    “It’d be embarrassing, so yes.” Pauline blushed. “There’s a lot we could do playing like this but simple is fine. You’re um – doing great.”

    Sarita giggled nervously and gave Pauline a quick kiss. Crouching, she unbuttoned and unzipped Pauline’s jeans. Peeling them down with Pauline’s panties in tow, Sarita’s imagination gave her a dozen ideas for ways that Astra would tease a girl about having wet panties. She didn’t have the confidence to say any of them. One of her ideas for amplifying Pauline’s sexy humiliation didn’t require any witty comments.

    “Step out of them,” Sarita commanded, once she had Pauline’s clothes around her ankles.

    Obediently, Pauline lifted her feet, letting Sarita pull her clothes aside. She fidgeted in front of the toilet, unsure of where to put her hands. Sarita let Pauline’s discomfort ramp while she checked out her date’s naked body. She was getting hot again simply watching Pauline’s arousal build.

    “Sit,” Sarita commanded. As soon as Pauline obeyed, Sarita pushed the other girl’s knees apart.

    Pauline’s jaw dropped. She trembled, her nipples rock hard and her face flushed. Sarita looked at the other girl’s unfocused eyes and wondered if she had pushed Pauline partially into subspace.

    I’ll do aftercare for her after this either way. It’ll be nice to cuddle and take care of her, if she needs it or not.

    The moment stretched out between them, becoming more socially strained as it continued. Strain of a different kind appeared on Pauline’s face. Her knees quivered, but she left them as Sarita had posed her.

    “Are you waiting for permission?” Sarita asked in sudden surprise.

    “I – guess so.” Pauline wrapped her arms around herself and looked at Sarita through her lashes.

    Oh shit. She is CUTE.

    “Pauline.” Sarita put a hand on the girl’s head and stroked her hair. “Go potty now.”

    She wasn’t sure why she used the childish phrase. Pauline hadn’t shown any Little mannerisms. In the moment, it felt like the right thing to say. It didn’t feel as harsh as saying piss or pee.

    Whatever Pauline thought of Sarita’s word choice, she wasn’t commenting. She trembled on the toilet as she emptied her bladder. Sarita watched in fascination. Pauline was exposed in front of her, Sarita could see everything.

    A sexy twist of energy tingled down Sarita’s spine and into her crotch. It was pretty weird watching a girl pee on the first date, but it turned out to be damn hot too. At first, Sarita assumed it was the domination turning her on. Quickly, she realized she liked everything she was seeing.

    Did I really hate what Astra was making me do, or was it how pushy she was? I think I might really like this stuff. I wish Nohemi and I were good enough friends that I could give her shit for giving me weird fetishes by falling on me.

    “I’m all done,” Pauline said in a tiny voice. She sounded vulnerable, on the edge of being scared or upset. Aftercare sounded like a good idea for sure.

    “Thanks for showing me.” Sarita put her hands on Pauline’s shoulders and gave her a kiss right there on the toilet. “It was really sexy.”

    “It was?”

    “It was. I liked it. I’m going to want to do more with you, another time.”

    “I’d like that.” Pauline beamed. The upset worry had vanished from her tone.

    “Do you want to snuggle on the couch for a bit, maybe do some decorating?” Sarita brushed her hand affectionately through Pauline’s hair.

    “That sounds wonderful.”

    “Before we do – I have to go too. You can watch me, if you want.”

    Pauline giggled. “Yes please!”

    It was Sarita’s turn to blush all over. She dropped her clothes next to Pauline’s and swapped places with her. Letting go under Pauline’s fascinated gaze was sexy, though not as much as it had been to watch the other girl.

    Since neither of them relished putting their damp panties back on, Sarita lent her robe to Pauline and put pajamas on. A very giggly Pauline spent some time trying to convince Sarita to escew the pajama top. A session of playful kisses derailed them for a bit in the bedroom.

    “We’d better not go further.” Sarita said, putting on her top to Pauline’s exaggerated disappointment. “Especially not in the bedroom. Do you want to get the markers out while I make tea?”

    Pauline nodded obediently and went demurely to the living room to set up for decorating the diapers. Sarita watched Pauline while the water heated, trying to parse her own feelings. The little bit of topping Sarita had done was already more intense than any dominance play she’d done before.

    The other times, it was me and a girlfriend being silly. We didn’t take it seriously. Pauline is being submissive for real though. Even after we reset. I didn’t think I’d like it this much.

    As much as it felt good to dominate Pauline, Sarita was caught off guard by how tired she felt. Knowing they’d be snuggling, without any expectation for Sarita to be in charge, was a big relief.

    “Hi kitty!” Pauline said excitedly from the living room as Sarita was pouring the tea. “Are you friendly?”

    “He’s not usually. Though sometimes he gets brave. His name is Nero.”

    “That’s a pretty important name for such a little kitty. Are you a little emperor? Yes you are!”

    Sarita brought in the tea in time to watch Nero cast a bored glance at Pauline and walk away from her offered hand without sniffing it. Shrugging at Pauline’s disappointed expression, Sarita set out the tea.

    “That’s cats for you. He’ll warm up to you if he sees you enough.”

    “I’ll have to come over a lot then.” Pauline waited for Sarita to take a seat and fitted herself against Sarita’s side, leaning back on her.

    “Planning to move in with me already?”

    “I’m not that kind of lesbian.”

    “What kind are you?” Sarita let the diapers sit in lieu of playing with Pauline’s hair.

    “The kind who’s not sure if she has a girlfriend, or an ABDL mommy, or a top… or none of those things yet.”

    “I’m still seeing Astra. I don’t know if it will work out, but I’m not ready to stop with her either.” Sarita kissed Pauline gently on the back of the neck.

    “That’s okay. I know this is our first real date. I’m really not a U-Haul lesbian. What do you think about which one of those things you might be to me – eventually?”

    “I don’t know anything about being an ABDL mommy. Is a mommy what you want?”

    “It’s not something I usually want.” Pauline closed her eyes and sighed happily as Sarita rubbed her temples. “I think I could do it for you though.”

    “Since I don’t know how to do it, and you’re not enthusiastic about it – I think we can forget about mommies for now.”

    “Do you want a steady girlfriend, or do you want to date for a while?”

    “I honestly don’t know.” Sarita sighed. “I’m sorry if that doesn’t feel good to hear.”

    “It’s okay, really. I’m not sure either. Maybe for now, we could be friends with benefits and see what happens?”

    “That’s okay by me.” Sarita was surprised to discover she was being honest. Pauline was fun, with new kinds of fun to explore, but she didn’t feel herself falling for the other girl.

    Maybe love will come later. I don’t know her well yet anyway.

    “Thanks for talking that out with me.”

    “Of course, sweetie. I was curious too.” Sarita kissed the back of Pauline’s head.

    “Sweetie? That sounds like a girlfriend nickname.” Pauline grabbed for Sarita’s knee, sending ticklish sparks up her leg.

    “Ack! Stop that, or I’ll cut your aftercare short.”

    “Is that what you’re…” Pauline twisted around to look at Sarita curiously. “You’re giving me aftercare, even though all we did was a tiny thing?”

    “You looked like you needed it.”

    “If you keep being so nice to me I really will want to be your girlfriend.” Pauline pulled herself partially into Sarita’s lap to give her a slow, tender kiss. Sarita held Pauline gently in her arms, stroking the other girl’s back.

    “And if you keep switching between wanting to be my sub or my girlfriend I’m going to be really confused.”

    “I’m not trying to be confusing. It’s exciting to think about doing sub stuff with you. It’s hard to find a girl who’s okay with my kinks.”

    “I bet. I thought I was the kind of girl who gets dirty, but you’re a lay-down-a-tarp kind of girl, aren’t you?”

    Pauline giggled and rested her head on Sarita’s shoulders. “Kind of, yeah.”

    “That was the most fun I’ve ever had topping.” Sarita said.

    “Really?”

    Sarita nodded. “I meant it when I said I want to do more stuff with you.”

    They locked gazes. Sarita explored every strand of hazel and gold in Pauline’s eyes, watching the other girl’s pupils slowly dilate.

    “We should um, get decorating.” Pauline said suddenly.

     Sarita blushed and nodded. It was disappointing to have Pauline out of her lap, so they could set up with pens and a stack of diapers each. At least, they were still hip to hip. While drawing, they stole little kisses and touches.

    From time to time, Nero would poke his head around the couch to see if Pauline was still there. Each time, he washed his paw with a calculated expression of indifference and slunk away. Pauline’s repeated attempts at “pspspspsps” had no effect.

    By the time the second round of tea was cold, both girls had a stack of decorated diapers a dozen deep. It seemed like more than enough work for a date night. Sarita fetched a blanket and lounged on the couch with Pauline laying back on her. They searched Sarita’s streaming services for the very worst garbage they could find, giggling and cringing at the horrible writing, which the actors sullied with dire acting.

    When Pauline had to head out, Sarita stopped her at the door for another round of kisses. These were slow, gentle kisses that ended with the girls holding each other, their foreheads lightly touching.

    “Those were girlfriend kisses.” Pauline said.

    “I like you.” Sarita said. As soon as she spoke, she felt a tiny twinge of guilt. Truthfully, she still didn’t know what she was feeling for the girl in her arms.

    “Can I blow up your phone tomorrow?”

    “I’ll be sad if you don’t.” That’s totally true, at least.

    “Goodnight Sarita.”

    “Goodnight Pauline.” Sarita kissed Pauline one more time and watched her walk down the hall until she went through the stairwell door. Finally closing the door, Sarita was confronted with a judgmental gaze from Nero.

    “You have something to say, Nero?”

    Nero did not. He flicked his tail and wandered off in search of a warm spot. Sarita chuckled and packed the decorated diapers away. Checking her phone, she had messages from Nohemi and Astra. There was one from Oriana too. Happily snuggling under the blanket she’d shared with Pauline, Sarita texted her friends late into the night.

  • Getting Little: Chapter 8

    The diner coffee was badly burnt. That, of course, was how you knew you were in a real diner. The other tell was the mingled smell of grease and over-polished wood that permeated the place. It was weird to be in Rosco’s when the sun was up. One didn’t go to The R to get good food. Rosco’s was for people who were drunk enough to make bad food decisions.

    Another advantage of Rosco’s, for the closing-time crowd, was that the waitresses were notoriously inattentive. For the wasted, this meant they wouldn’t be hassled if they acted out a bit. With the lack of other diners during the day, the disappearing waitstaff made a great place to have a private conversation.

    What had sealed Rosco’s as the spot to meet was the same thing that brought in after-hours crowds in the first place. It was dirt cheap. Though spending less time at The Pony was helpful for Sarita’s budget, she’d had to pay rent that week. Astra could easily pick up the tab, but Sarita was determined to pay.

    Sarita refilled her coffee while keeping an eye on the door. Every table got a pot of coffee and it’s own warmer, freeing the waitresses up from having to roam the floor with a pot in hand. Sarita sipped, winced, and poured five sugar packets into her cup.

    Astra walked in the front door and looked around in confusion. Silly Astra. She was expecting a hostess at the front, like she was in some kind of fancy restaurant. Vigorous waving on Sarita’s part failed to catch Astra’s eye. Ms. Mommy was too intent on trying to track down a staff member.

    “Astra! Over here!”

    Astra turned to Sarita and waved back. She looked around once more for a hostess, shrugged, and made her way to the table.

    I bet all the staff are hiding out behind the restaurant. They don’t expect a lot of tips from me.

    “I’ve never been in here before. Is it open?” Astra took a seat, looking three flavors of confused and worried all at once.

    “Yup. See? I have coffee.” Sarita indicated the pot. “It’d be a good idea to wipe the inside of your cup before you pour yourself some. Occasionally you get a dusty one.”

    “This is where you wanted to eat? Do they have something really delicious on the menu or something?”

    “Hah, no. Normally, nobody comes here if they aren’t drunk. But since the staff leaves you alone, I thought it’d be a good place to have a private conversation.”

    “Oh.” Astra bit her lip, cast her eyes downward. “Are you breaking up with me? Please tell me up front if that’s what you’re doing.”

    “No! Why did you think that? We had some good text conversations.”

    “I thought we did too, but you wanted to meet at a neutral location, and you want to be able to talk privately…”

    “Oh, shit! Astra, I’m sorry, really sorry. I don’t want to break up with you.”

    Sarita smiled encouragingly at Astra. Her smile didn’t change her date’s expression much. “I did want to talk about – kink stuff. Not in your apartment because it um – kind of intimidates me. And not in mine because I’m embarrassed.”

    “You don’t have to be embarrassed about your apartment. I want to help you with that! I’m sad that my apartment intimidates you. I was hoping you’d feel at home there. It’s cozy, isn’t it?”

    Your apartment is way too spotless to feel cozy, sorry girl!

    “Anyway, we’re here. Can we talk?”

    “Shouldn’t we order something first?”

    “I don’t think we can, until the staff get back from their smoke break.”

    Astra shook her head and laughed. “Okay, let’s talk. Do you want to start?”

    “Yes please. There’s something I’ve asked about a couple of times and didn’t get an answer. I know we were having a – an intense conversation, so I’m not upset we didn’t talk about it then.”

    Sarita drew herself up, not that it put her at Astra’s height. “I want to know about the other girls. It’s okay if we’re not exclusive, but I want to know.”

    Astra sighed. “I wish I’d been there to say something, when whoever it was, was gossiping. I have some play partners that I see at the Green Fairy. That’s all they are. We have fun scenes together. I don’t take them out for dates or go over to their apartments.”

    Argh! How many is “some”?

    “Do they come over to your apartment?”

    “Sometimes. I have a VIP membership to the Fairy, so I can get in on member’s nights, but the timing doesn’t always work out. I’ve invited Jenevieve over a couple of times.”

    Sarita looked down at her coffee. “Were those Jenevieve’s pajamas?”

    “Sweetie, no. They were brand new. Pajamas are easy to buy in one size fits many. I have a couple of pairs around for – for exactly what we used them for. An impromptu scene.”

    “Okay, that makes me feel better.” Sarita lifted her head and smiled. “Sorry if I was grilling you.”

    “It’s alright. I want you to be comfortable with me – with us. You’re so adorable I – Sarita, I care about you a lot. I want this to work out so much.”

    Sarita nodded. “I want it to work out too. There’s more to talk about though.”

    “I’m here. I want to fix things. I’m so sorry that I made things so uncomfortable that you felt like you had to leave right away.”

    Naturally, their waitress picked that moment to finally approach the table. She swapped out the nearly full pot of coffee for a fresh one and cast a bored expression at the couple.

    “What do ya’ll want to eat?”

    “Cheeseburger with fries.” Sarita said.

    “I’ll take…” Astra looked helplessly at the menu under the table’s plastic cover. “The club sandwich.”

    “Fries, hashbrowns, onion rings, or salad?”

    “I’ll take the salad, thank you.”

    The waitress grunted and clopped away in her heels. Sarita giggled at Astra’s dazed expression.

    “Rosco’s is an experience the first time. I’ve never gotten food poisoning here, promise.”

    “It terrifies me that you think that’s a selling point.” Astra shook her head.

    Sarita shrugged. She’d laid out The R’s selling points when Astra first sat down. It wasn’t going to change anything to complain about the place.

    “Anyway, back to what you said. Thank you for apologizing. I’m sorry I was so grumpy.”

    Sarita tucked her feet under the booth seat until they were bent against the floor and seat. “I thought about that morning and the night before a lot. I think I was okay with everything we did. What bothered me is that you kept adding more and more, without talking to me.”

    “I’m sorry. Sarita, I really am. What can I do to fix it?”

    “Stick to what we decide at the beginning, please. Or ask if something you want to add is okay, especially if it’s something I haven’t done before.”

    “I was trying to ease you into things. I didn’t want to scare you off.”

    Sarita had to take a sip of her horrible, burnt coffee to keep a straight face. “That was you taking it slow?”

    “Well – okay, maybe not. I was taking it slow relative to how fast we started. I got so excited when you jumped right into a pullup on our first date. I wanted to keep that excitement going.”

    Sarita giggled. “I can understand that I guess. I did too, just um, for different things.”

    “What do you mean?”

    “I mean – you’re super hot and I wanted everything to go well so that we could have more fun.” Sarita ducked her head so she wouldn’t have to watch Astra’s reaction.

    “You’re super hot yourself, cutie.”

    Managing a small smile, Sarita met Astra’s eyes.

    “But I didn’t feel that way. I felt like – like I was just cute. Like you would have had fun with anybody, not just me.”

    “No, that’s not true! I felt like I was already doing so much, introducing so many things on our second date that more sex would have been too much.”

    “It wouldn’t have been too much.” Sarita mumbled, blushing.

    Astra giggled. “I’ll keep that in mind. My baby girl needs to hear me moan to be happy? I can work with that.”

    Sarita squirmed. “I like doing stuff with you. After going to the munch and talking to people – I’d be willing to do a lot if I knew about it ahead of time.”

    “It is going to kill me to wait for this sandwich to get here.”

    Astra reached out quickly for Sarita’s hand. “I mean – if you want to do something with me today. I shouldn’t assume. I’m not assuming you will.”

    “I’d like that. Maybe we could talk about it – here. Then when we’re done with lunch we’d already know what we’re going to do.”

    Astra blushed. “You are trying to torture me.”

    “I want to hear what you want to do. Think of it as a warmup,” Sarita said, with a smirk.

    “I’m going to warm up for sure.”

    Astra pulled her hair back, twisting it around her hand before letting it fall. “I don’t want to scare you or fluster you to the point that the conversation shuts down. You’ve been communicating up front, which is great, but you get shy when we touch on specifics.”

    “How about this? You say anything you really want to do with me today. I promise not to freak out.”

    Sarita dumped the container of sugar packets on the table, separating them into the white sugars and pink sweeteners. “If I’m okay with it, I’ll pass you a white one. If I’m not, I’ll pass a pink one.”

    “That’s pretty clever. If I get a lot of pink on my side, I can back off.” Astra reached over to pat Sarita’s cheek. “You’re a smart girl.”

    Sarita blushed and pushed a white packet over to Astra. Giggling, Astra put it on her saucer.

    “I like this game already. Okay – I want to diaper you.” Astra smiled and accepted a white packet from Sarita.

    “I want you to use the diaper for number one.” Another white packet slid across the table.

    “Really?” Astra picked the packet up. “I thought that’s what upset you.”

    “I had time to think, and it doesn’t seem so bad. Plus, this time I’m getting to choose it.”

    “Fair enough. I want to put you in a baby-onsie, if I have one in your size. Otherwise, pajamas again.” Astra eagerly grabbed the white packet that came across the table.

    “I want you to play with baby toys, like plastic rings and blocks.”

    Sarita pushed a pink packet across the table. Astra bit her lip in disappointment, but nodded.

    “Okay, no problem. I want you to – to suck on my nipples like you did last time.”

    A white packet shot across the table. After a few moments, a second white packet followed it. Astra covered her mouth to muffle her laugh.

    “We’re both a fan of that, I see. Here comes another easy one, maybe. I want to spank you if you act out – which means I want you to act out.”

    Sarita shot three white packets at Astra. “We’re going to run out of white packets if you keep up like this.”

    “Maybe that’s a sign to stop adding things.” Astra’s hesitant tone was at odds with her quick suggestion, like she regretted saying it.

    “I think that’s a good way to put a limit on this game,” Sarita said, firmly.

    “Then shouldn’t you reverse when you’re sending multiple packets? It should cost more packets for something you’re on the fence about, because that exhausts the supply more quickly. If you’re enthusiastic about something, it should only cost one.”

    “This is getting complicated for a silly sugar packet communication game.”

    “I like systems and frameworks.” Astra shrugged. “Next one, I want our play to last a good amount of time. Ideally I’d get to put you to bed again.”

    Sarita sent two white packets.

    “Does that mean yes but with reservations? Are we doing the packet-economy now?”

    Sarita threw her head back and laughed. “Yes, nerd. I’m using your packet-economy.”

    “Excellent.” Astra gave a pleased wiggle.

    There she goes, being all hot AND cute.

    “How about eating baby food?”

    Sarita made a big show of pushing over three pink packets.

    “Multiple pink packets means what? You’re almost okay with it, or very against?”

    “Since you said a lot of pink is a sign that I’m uncomfortable, multiple pink should be a bigger no.”

    “Got it. It’s not as bad as you think it is – but I won’t push! Um, how about a protein shake in a bottle?”

    Sarita sent a white packet over. She hesitated, blushing. A second white packet joined the first.

    “Hmm, very interesting. What if I ask you to crawl everywhere?”

    A pink packet slid over to Astra.

    “Just one pink? Noted. Can I take you out on my balcony in your diaper, if it’s covered up by clothes?”

    Sarita considered, her hand hovering over the pink packets. Her hand moved to the white packets, grabbing the last four and pushing them all over at once.

    “You’re out of white packets.”

    “Hmm. This is really neat actually. Thank you for thinking of this.”

    “I have an addition,” Sarita said. “You have five pink packets. You have to send them back to me for stuff I want to do.”

    Astra giggled. “You are such a creative little girl, I love this! Do you ask for things or do I suggest?”

    “Um, I ask. You do the pink packets the way I did white ones. More than one if it’s something you’re not excited about.”

    “Sounds good, cutie. Go ahead. What does my baby girl want?”

    “I want you to – touch me after you spank me, like last time.”

    “I can do that.” Astra grinned and sent a pink packet to Sarita.

    “I also want to um…” Sarita took a deep breath and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Go down on you.”

    Astra slid two pink packets over.

    “Two, really?”

    “I don’t usually do that when I have a girl all babied up, but it does sound fun. I’m not trying to discourage you, it’s just how I feel about it. I’m sorry.”

    “No, don’t be sorry, this is good! I want us to be honest. I’m sorry I questioned your packets.”

    Here I go doing the same stuff I’m upset with her for doing.

    “It’s not a problem, sweetie. What’s next?”

    “If I’m staying overnight, I need a break when I wake up.”

    Astra nodded, pushing the last two pink packets over.

    “It doesn’t have to be a long break. Sorry, send as many packets as you want – though that’s all of them.”

    “I’m realizing we don’t have a way for me to say no on the things you’re asking, I guess I wouldn’t send the packet. I’m fine with you taking a break, darling. I was really looking forward to babying a sleepy girl, but I don’t mind working up to it.”

    “Do you feel good about what we negotiated? Is everything okay?”

    “I do. I’m going to use this again with you. Maybe with Legos or poker chips or something. Are you happy with the activities we outlined?”

    Sarita considered, trying to remember everything they’d negotiated. Her own wants were fresh in her mind, Astra’s took a bit of thought. She wants me in a diaper, and using it. I’d be wearing a onesie and she’s going to take me out on her balcony. I have to be bratty and get spanked – that one’s easy. Was there something else? I don’t remember, but that means it didn’t bother me.

    “Yes, thanks for doing this with me.”

    Astra looked back at the kitchen. “Our food still isn’t here? What happens if we walk out?”

    “The staff eats it, I guess? I’m hungry though.”

    “Okay, we can wait. Tell me something about you while we do.”

    Sarita was hesitant at first, she never knew how to answer a question that broad. Astra was good at teasing out more information from short answers. In short order she had Sarita talking about growing up in Ardenthill, her parents’ divorce, and her mom passing away unexpectedly less than a year later.

    “Oh sweetie! I’m so sorry to hear that. Did you live with your dad then?”

    “No, he’d already moved to California for a job. I was eighteen, so I took the inheritance and got a smaller apartment.”

    “Did he help you out at all?”

    “Yeah, Dad’s okay, just far away. He’s not really good at staying in touch, but he’s always happy when I call him. Actually I’m not very good at staying in touch either.”

    Out of nowhere, the waitress appeared at their table. They’d been waiting so long that they were lost in their own little world, feeling like the had the restaurant to themselves. Sarita crossed herself, giving thanks that they hadn’t been talking about diapers when the food showed up. After setting their plates down with a heavy clunking sound, the waitress silently put the bill on their table and walked away.

    “This looks like supermarket lunchmeat.” Astra said good-naturedly, as she investigated her sandwich. “I’m out of packets, but can I cook for you tonight?”

    “I’d love that.” Sarita said, tucking into her hamburger. It was as mediocre as she remembered. The taste was a memory of every night after the Pony closed when Ineis, Felisa, and whoever wasn’t sober enough to drive rumbled down to Rosco’s in an unruly gay pack.

    Nostalgia was only a good spice for the first couple of bites. Poor Astra didn’t have any good memories seasoning her sandwich. They ate quickly and quietly. Astra decided against eating her salad. Sarita thought that wise.

    When her food was done, Sarita snatched up the bill and carried it to the register. As luck would have it, the waitress was nearby and got them out the door in good time.

    When Sarita got into the car, Astra reminded her to buckle up. It felt like a bit of a warmup for their evening, and the concern felt nice. Even better for Sarita was the praise she got for having planned ahead and having Nero taken care of.

    As soon as they entered Astra’s pristine apartment, Sarita found herself swept against the wall in Astra’s arms. The kiss that followed left Sarita pink-cheeked and her heart pounding.

    “Most of your pink packets were about wanting to make sure that I make you feel sexy.” Astra shifted her hands to Sarita’s rear. “I want you to know that you’re very sexy. You’re beautiful, your body is beautiful, and I want you.”

    “Oh uh – you’re d-doing a good job of letting me know that.” Sarita clutched Astra’s blouse, pulling it out of her skirt’s waistband.

    “I want to transform you into my Little Girl now. When I do, you’ll still be sexy. I know I said I don’t normally have Littles go down on me, but I’m really looking forward to putting this Little Girl’s face between my legs.”

    “Yes please.” Sarita gasped. “I want you so much.”

    Astra kissed Sarita again, exploring the Little Girl’s mouth with her tongue with needy urgency. When their lips parted, Sarita discovered Astra’s hands on her rear, with her leggings down to expose her butt.

    “We didn’t discuss caregiver titles. I ran out of packets. Would you want to call me mommy or does that feel bad because of…”

    I never called my mom Mommy, but she’s a great excuse to stop this extra thing before it starts.

    “That’s right, I can’t call you that.”

    “I don’t like the impersonal titles like Auntie or using my last name.” Astra said, frustrated. “We could use nanny, but I don’t know if I like that either.”

    Is she still asking? She even said she ran out of packets.

    “How about ma’am?”

    “Hmm, I guess so.” Astra took a moment to look into Sarita’s eyes. “Is it okay? It’s just that – it feels weird having you say my name all the time.”

    I could just talk normally – but I guess I understand. Titles are part of kink that has scenes like this. I didn’t mind calling Felisa Mistress – I don’t know why I’m hung up on nanny.

    “How about – Angel?”

     Astra’s jaw dropped. “You want me to be your angel?”

    Sarita bit her lip. Maybe that was over the top – but maybe not. I like the way she takes care of me, as long as she’s listening. I like how she plays and I love how she touches me. She was a big part of saving me from the worst night ever, her and Nohemi both.

    “Yes,” Sarita said with conviction. “I want you to be my Angel.”

    Astra grabbed Sarita for a crushing hug. Sarita hugged back, confused. When her cheek brushed Astra’s and she felt the other woman’s tears, Sarita grabbed Astra just as tightly. Crying without sobs, Astra held Sarita in emotional desperation. They were both trembling a when the hug relaxed.

    “That was so sweet, baby girl. Thank you.” Astra wiped her tears with the back of her hand, heedless of her makeup.

    “I meant it.” Sarita said, truthfully.

    “I can tell. It means a lot that you said that. I lo – I’m so glad I met you.”

    Was she about to bust out the L word? Do I love her? Does she really love me, or was it just a sweet moment?

    Thoughts spinning, Sarita went in for another kiss. Her eagerness nearly had her climbing Astra. If she’d been smaller or Astra more prepared, she’d have tried to get into Astra’s arms in earnest. With an easy smile and an effervescence in her heart, Sarita laid her head on Astra’s shoulder.

    “I’m ready to be your Little Girl.”

    “If you keep being this sweet, you’ll never get that spanking.”

    Sarita giggled. “I can be a brat too.”

    “I don’t doubt that for a second.” Astra took a moment to wipe her eyes again. “Before we start, do you need to use the bathroom?”

    She remembered! Okay, I can forgive her for adding the title thing, especially because that ended up really sweet. She didn’t have to offer the bathroom, but she did.

    Maybe I do love her. My Angel would be easy to love, if we can stay on the same page.

    “No bathroom right now.” Sarita shook her head. “My Angel said I have to use my diapers.”

    Sarita had the great pleasure of watching Astra’s expression convert from a sweet smile to naked thirst. “You’re not wearing a diaper right now. Let’s get you in one right away before you have an accident.”

    “I don’t have accidents,” Sarita said, slipping into a bratty tone. “Never ever, ever. Not in the shower or anywhere else.”

    “Baby girl, that was a lie.” Astra smiled broadly. “You may think a spanking is the only punishment you can get, but it’s not. If you fib again I’ll wash your mouth out – er, I mean you won’t get any dessert.”

    She’s trying so hard! I’m going to be a great Little Girl for her.

    Sarita put on her best worried pout. “I’m sorry, Angel. I won’t lie again.”

    “I know you can be a good girl. You just need a little correction.” Astra patted Sarita’s cheek. “No more stalling. It’s diaper time.”

    “Do I get to pick my diaper?” Sarita followed Astra, lead by the hand to the bedroom.

    “Of course. You should feel pretty in your diapers, baby girl.” Astra opened her closet, revealing stacks upon stacks of diapers. She chose three, one with a cartoon kangaroo on it, one with pink flowers, and the third with alphabet blocks.

    Which one does she want me to pick? Which one do I want to wear?

    Sarita considered the diapers for a moment, the decision feeling strangely weighty. The flowers were the least childish pattern for sure. The blocks screamed baby, but Sarita wondered if a baby would actually like blocks in print.

    “I like the cute kangaroo.” Sarita said.

    “Good choice, precious girl.”

    Astra took her time undressing Sarita, stripping everything, even her socks. Tenderly, she laid Sarita on a changing blanket. Surprisingly, Astra didn’t go straight for the diaper. Sarita giggled as Astra tickled her, doubly squirming when Astra blew a raspberry on her belly.

    Though the tickles had subsided, Sarita had the giggles for a bit after. The silly feeling gave way to a squirmy one when she realized that Astra was kneeling on the bed, with her head between Sarita’s open legs.

    “Oh, I know that look! My baby girl is turned on.” Astra stroked Sarita’s inner thighs. “I could lean down and give my Little Girl a really fun time before I put her in her diaper.”

    “Yes please,” Sarita whispered lustily.

    “Hmm, no, only a very good girl would get that, and you’ve already been a little naughty.”

    An indignant whine was the only response Sarita could make.

    “There aren’t just punishments, baby girl. Little Girls that are extra good get some very nice rewards too.”

    “But, I’m supposed to be bratty…”

    “I’m sure you can figure it out somehow. You’re a very smart Little Girl.” Astra grinned, spreading out the kangaroo diaper. “Bum up.”

    Sarita lifted her rear. The crinkly padding wasn’t as intimidating as it had been. Being playful helped. More importantly, knowing she’d chosen to wear a diaper made the experience a fun one.

    She could feel herself getting silly and giggly as Astra powdered her and taped up the diaper. The feeling was like staying up late, or eating too much sugar. When Astra put her in a floral pattern onesie, Sarita was feeling downright goofy.

    It was really touching how Astra – Angel, how Angel made a point of showing Sarita the onesie’s store tags before she cut them off. She really wants me to feel special.

    When Astra offered Sarita a pacifier, she was happy to open her mouth to accept it. In fact, Sarita was beginning to regret pink-packeting the baby toys. Snuggling with Astra on the bed,

    Sarita obediently wet herself when her Angel asked her to. It seemed like wetting herself should be old-hat by now, but Sarita found herself getting embarrassed all the same. Part of it was the wetting itself, Sarita found she wasn’t ready to be blasé about peeing her pants. Another big factor was Astra putting her hand on Sarita’s padded crotch to feel it grow warm and squishy.

    While Sarita was a squirmy mess from having wet while Astra scrutinized her, Astra buttoned the snaps of her onesie. In a soft, almost singsong tone, Angel was telling Sarita all about the dinner she was going to make

    Sarita was too distracted and floaty-feeling to pay much attention. Lasagna would be part of the dinner for sure. The other dishes were a mystery, besides that there seemed to be a lot of them.

    If this is how it goes when people play like this, I can see why my new friends love it so much. Maybe I won’t even need a break in the morning!

  • Getting Little: Chapter 9

    Feeling super little wasn’t compatible with being moved around an apartment, Sarita was discovering. After being diapered and wetting on Astra’s bed, Sarita had wonderful snuggly time with her Angel. It was warm in the apartment, especially for someone wearing a diaper and the fuzzy thigh-high socks that Astra had put Sarita in. Warmth and snuggles amplified the ditzy mood that had taken Sarita over.

    Astra had called her “Little Girl” and “Baby Girl” so many times, that when a move to the living room was announced, Sarita waited for Astra to pick her up. Unfortunately, Astra couldn’t, and Sarita didn’t understand until her confusion had already caused an awkward hiccup in the game. Sarita’s Angel had some human limitations, of course.

    It’s probably good she isn’t an actual angel. I think they’re supposed to be super scary weird monsters or something. Even if she was just a nine foot tall lady, that would be weird, right?

    While Sarita pondered what it would be like if Astra was a genuine Amazon, It’d be hot, she trundled along behind Astra to the living room couch. The diaper squished oddly. Sarita was technically dry, but there was a soggy bulk surrounding her crotch and butt. That brought Littleness and anxiety crashing down on Sarita.

    She was only too happy to lie across her Angel’s lap and cuddle some more. As long as her Angel was playing with her, Sarita didn’t have to think about her situation, or why it might be embarrassing. Whether or not the situation was hot could also be pushed off to the side.

    Playing the empty-headed baby worked so long as all they did was snuggle. When snuggles moved on to kisses, with Astra’s hand firmly holding Sarita’s diapered crotch, the question of hotness could no longer be ignored. It’s so fucking hot. Madre de Dios, this is so weird but, it’s Flaming Hot Cheeto hot.

    When her hands found Astra’s breasts, Sarita realized her Angel had had a wardrobe change. The office-lady skirt Astra had been wearing was still present, but her conservative blouse had been swapped for a low cut frilly affair that was somewhere between French courtesan and milkmaid.

    No sooner had Sarita investigated her Angel’s bosom, than Astra unbuttoned her blouse and unclasped the front clasp of her bra. Belatedly, Sarita realized it wasn’t the whole bra that was coming open, it was the right cup alone. Though she blushed at being confronted with a maternity bra, Sarita wasn’t so dazed that she didn’t know what Astra wanted.

    Sarita lowered her mouth to Astra’s breast and kissed across it, landing her lips on her Angel’s nipple. Astra shuddered happily, stroking Sarita’s side. Each gentle stroke ended with a pat on Sarita’s diaper. As she was reminding herself that she’d agreed to sucking Astra’s nipples, Sarita’s embarrassment blossomed into kinky pleasure.

    Confused and Little, Sarita even squeezed out a bit of liquid into her diaper when Astra patted her. She had a sexy fire in her belly, but it was a new one that had her off-balance. For herself as well as Astra, now, Sarita wanted to keep things going. Keenly watching Astra’s every reaction, Sarita did her best to keep the flow of sexy fun going.

    It was surprising when Astra pulled Sarita off her nipple, but she was ready to go with the flow. Eagerly, she watched her Angel to see what she was supposed to do next. The rubber nipple of a baby bottle touched her lips and Sarita eagerly sucked at it.

    Bottle feeding was another thing she’d agreed to do, so there was no trepidation. The liquid in the bottle was nice and cool, which was a plus. Sarita had been fearing she’d get a warm bottle, which sounded yuck even if it was a protein shake instead of milk. Drinking from the bottle made Sarita’s angel smile beatifically. It was worth every sugar packet in the world to see that smile.

    The bottle was half done when things took a turn out of bounds. Astra pulled the bottle away and put Sarita back on her breast. Sarita didn’t see a reason to question it, sucking eagerly at her Angel’s breast and luxuriating in the hot moans Astra was making.

    A gentle touch moved Sarita to Astra’s left breast. The moment her tongue touched Astra’s nipple, Sarita tasted the milky protein shake. Her eyes opened in surprise to see Astra thoroughly coating her right nipple. Sarita’s Angel put her back on the right nipple for a fresh taste of the creamy liquid.

    Both activities might have been negotiated, but combined they felt considerably kinkier. Sarita didn’t have the words or the free mouth to protest. Her Angel’s moans were thick with lust, which both helped and complicated things further. It felt incredible to be able to make Astra moan like that. Eliciting those moans by breastfeeding – because there was nothing else Sarita could call what she was doing – felt really strange.

    Once again, Sarita felt like a conveniently cute pair of lips. Her baby behavior didn’t connect – couldn’t connect to her idea of being a good lover. The fire in her belly had spread to her crotch, Sarita realized that Astra was rubbing her diaper. Moaning along with her Angel, Sarita did her best to ride the pleasurable bit of the stormy sea in her mind.

    The cry of pleasure that came out of Astra was awe-inspiring. Sarita held on as her Angel’s whole body quivered and arched. Sweat broke out all over Astra’s skin. As her Angel lowered Sarita’s head to her lap, the smell of Astra’s desire broke past the heavy scents of baby powder and the protein shake.

    Still trapped in a wordless frame of mind, Sarita was glad when Astra put the bottle back to her lips. A full mouth removed any obligation to speak, all she had to do was suck on the bottle and watch her Angel’s magnificent breasts sway while Astra caught her breath.

    The bottle was done before Astra’s afterglow was. Sarita closed her eyes and dozed while her Angel stroked her belly, breasts, and diaper. A deep sense of comfort spread out through Sarita. It cradled her anxious nerves and soothed them, covered her confused mind with warm, still waters. As it floated in the contented feeling, her heart healed one of its jagged edges.

    “How’s my Princess?” Astra asked, stroking Sarita’s cheek.

    “Angel.” The one word was the only response Sarita could muster. It must have been the right word, because she saw glory and love light her Angel’s face up again.

    “I need to clean up a little. Can you be a good baby and stay on the couch?”

    Sarita nodded. Once her Angel was out from under her, Sarita closed her eyes and dozed again. Astra returned with a skirt that she pulled up Sarita’s legs and over her diaper. Cute pink shoes went over the fuzzy pink socks. Her Angel took her hand and lead her to the balcony. It was delightfully crisp outside. Astra sat on a bench and put Sarita on her lap. While she struggled toward wakefulness, Sarita played with a leaf of one of the climbing plants that covered the balcony’s iron rail.

    “That was so beautiful, what we just shared.” Astra said. “How are you feeling, Baby Girl? Is my baby still feeling Little?”

    “I think – Little – yeah.” Sarita smiled shyly.

    “You’re adorable when you’re Little. More than any Baby Girl I’ve eve known.” Astra smiled broadly and bounced Sarita on her knees. “Whoopsie! There’s a bouncy baby Princess.”

    Sarita giggled and braced her hands on Astra’s shoulders. Bouncies came with tender kisses, which made for an incredible combination. Sadly, the longer the bouncies went on, the more their fun faded. Part of it was the noise intruding from below. Sarita’s mind wasn’t processing the conversations on the street but it was hearing them as more than a neutral noise.

    The real barrier to fun turned out to be the pressure that was building between Sarita’s legs. After enough uncomfortable squirms, her Angel stopped the bouncing and stroked Sarita’s face.

    “Is something the matter, Princess?”

    “I hafta – I have to go.” Sarita blushed.

    “Your diaper is a long way from leaking, baby girl. Go ahead and potty. Potty for M – for your Angel.”

    “But we’re…” Sarita swallowed around a lump in her throat. The conversations below were intruding more and more. Two men were having a discussion about basketball. They’re both wrong. The UNH will never beat UMAS on the basketball court – unless they’re talking about the women’s teams, but I doubt they are.

    “You’re okay. Potty for me, Little Girl. You can do it. You can be your Angel’s potty Princess.”

    Full awareness came crashing onto Sarita, banishing the happy Little daze she’d been enjoying. She was out on the balcony. It was something she’d agreed to – and to be fair it was a much more secluded balcony than she’d been envisioning. Even with the plants all over the railing, it felt impossible to wet a diaper when two dudes were talking about basketball right below her.

    “I can’t. Take me inside please. I can do it there.”

    “But we’re still enjoying the nice summer evening.” Astra kissed Sarita sweetly. “Come on, Princess. We’re not going inside unless you potty, and it looks like you have to go. Let it out for me.”

    Being Little had distracted Sarita from her bodily functions enough that she hadn’t noticed until she was near-bursting. Astra’s insistence on wetting outside was frustrating and scary, but arguing felt like it would consume energy that Sarita didn’t have. Besides, what am I supposed to do, shout “I’m not going to potty outside” loud enough for the basketball bros to hear?

    With a shudder that was almost a sob, Sarita relaxed and gushed in her diaper. Her Angel pulled her close and Sarita was glad to have someone to cling to. With her mind shying away from what she’d just done, and the street conversations quieting down, a bit of the Little feeling snuck back in.

    Unlike the deep peace she’d had before, Sarita’s new Little feeling was fussy and contrary. She scowled at Astra’s smile with her whole face. Surprised, her Angel patted Sarita’s now-warm diaper.

    “What’s that face for, Princess?”

    “I didn’t want to do that!” Sarita hissed.

    “We’ve talked about this, sweetie. Little Girls don’t always get to do what they want.”

    “I didn’t like it!” Sarita forced herself off Astra’s lap and stamped her foot.

    Astra giggled, which only stoked the infuriated fuss in Sarita further. “Looks like my Potty Princess is little again! Aww, you’re darling even when you’re fussy.”

    I’m not darling, I’m angry! Let’s see how darling I am when – when – this stupid plant is on the floor!

    Sarita swiped at one of the potted plants, sending it crashing to the concrete floor of the balcony. The terracotta pot shattered, splashing a circle of dirt and exposed roots on the concrete.

    Astra’s jaw dropped. “You – you… Little Girl! That was extremely naughty!”

    “It’s what you get.” Sarita glared at Astra.

    “You wanted to go inside, we’re going back inside. Then we’ll see what you get.” Astra grabbed Sarita’s wrist. With her mouth set in a firm line, she fast walked Sarita to the bedroom. Sarita allowed herself to be dragged along. Her thoughts were swirling with anger, confusion, and hurt.

    Astra had asked her to be a brat. It was part of what had given Sarita the courage to act out as much as she had. Under the brattiness was genuine anger, though. The two tangled together until Sarita didn’t know how to talk about them. When Astra stripped off Sarita’s skirt and wet diaper, bending over the bed felt inevitable.

    With her hips resting on the changing blanket, Sarita tensed her rear for the spanking Astra was promising. There was a full lecture going on, but it was wasted on the distracting turmoil in Sarita’s mind. All of Astra’s passionate words were so much wind-noise to Sarita.

    The first slap on Sarita’s rear was a bright spot of clarity that cut through the mind fog. Already emotionally unbalanced, Sarita burst into tears right away. It didn’t seem to deter Astra’s spanking hand. More than twenty hard slaps connected with Sarita’s wet butt, stinging and burning until she was hiccupping through her sobs.

    The first touch on Sarita’s sex felt like an intrusion. Mentally, Sarita was far from sexy thoughts. Her body was quick to remind her how much she liked being spanked. It took only a few touches before Sarita was moaning around her hiccups instead of sobbing. As the blazing desire spread out from her sex into her hips, her aching ass, and her belly, Sarita’s hiccups vanished.

    Though she was moaning and screaming to rival an overproduced porno, Sarita’s climax caught her by surprise, One moment there was pleasure racing along her skin and pooling in her sensitive bits, the next her mind went blind with ecstasy. The peaks came repeatedly, too close together to count. Astra had stopped touching Sarita somewhere in that mad rush of bliss, but her hips bucked three more times before paradise faded.

    Astra kneeled by Sarita and took the Little Girl’s face in her hands. Sarita’s Angel was trembling, her eyes were unfocused with desire. She kissed Sarita hard, possessively pulling her hair. Panting, Astra stared into Sarita’s eyes.

    “That was so hot. We’re going to go through so many plant pots. I don’t care. I’ll buy them in bulk.”

    Blinking as she tried to process that statement, Sarita found herself between Astra’s legs as her Angel dropped onto the bed. Scrabbling urgently, Astra hiked her skirt up and yanked her panties off. Sarita was leaning forward before Astra grabbed her hair again. Tears poured down her cheeks again. She’d done it, she’d overwhelmed Astra with lust until her Angel had dropped all pretense.

    Feeling like a goddess of sex, Sarita dove between Astra’s legs with her tongue. She gave it her all, fingers inside her Angel while her tongue constantly worked across Astra’s button. There was too much sensation to count Astra’s summits any more than Sarita had been able to count her own. They were many, they were loud, and that was enough.

    Astra was so overcome when she finished that she didn’t diaper Sarita right away. They lay together in bed like proper lovers, smelling of each other and pressed skin to skin.

    —–

    When Sarita roused from the bed, she had a sore butt and was looking forward to some gentle care. Astra was happy to provide that care, though in her own way, of course. As Sarita made her way to the bathroom she found Astra already up and showered. She’d also run a bubble bath for Sarita.

    While the bubbles smelled nice and the warm water was soothing, Sarita sat in the water wishing she’d been offered a shower instead. It was tricky to sit in the tub with her sore butt, for one thing. For another, it was sweet of Astra to help Sarita scrub down, but it made cleaning up feel like an extension of the previous scene. That feeling of not-quite-aftercare was amplified when Astra put Sarita in a new diaper as soon as she was dried off from the tub.

    In a new onesie, swaddled on the couch in a warm blanket, Sarita’s mood rose in earnest. Belly rumble induing smells wafted out of the kitchen. Despite seeming quite busy in the kitchen, Astra found time every five minutes to return to the couch and give Sarita a snuggle or a kiss.

    To Sarita’s great surprise, Astra let her eat dinner on the couch. Though her drink was in a sippy cup and her utensils were designed for toddlers, it didn’t matter much with the meal Astra had made. A meal which was even more delicious than the smells that had heralded it.

    Tucking in to the lasagna, garlic bread, and salad, Sarita’s belly and heart were both full in no time. Her Angel did everything for her, from taking Sarita’s plate back to the kitchen to ordering her to stay on he couch when Sarita offered to help with the dishes.

    Their post dinner entertainment had Sarita on her Angel’s lap watching an old kid’s movie. Neither of them was paying much attention to the movie, giving priority to cuddling and hand-feeding each other fresh-baked brownies instead.

    Being Astra’s Little felt so good that when Sarita felt the need to pee, she went right away. For the first time, filling her diaper was part of the fun, instead of being neutral or distressing. Playfully, Sarita reported her accident to Astra. To her delight, Sarita’s Angel fussed over her and peppered her with kisses as a reward.

    At bedtime, Astra was reluctant to change Sarita’s diaper. Getting past that reluctance was a simple matter of cutely praising Astra’s diaper changing skills. With the last hitch in the night out of the way, Sarita was eager to get into bed with her Angel. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, with Sarita in a state of deep contentment.

    —–

    There were few things better than waking up with beautiful, pillowy breasts in one’s face, Sarita discovered. It was her first time waking up that way, none of her previous girlfriends had anything approaching Astra’s endowment. Her Angel was already awake, but still sleepy. She caressed Sarita’s cheek, to which the Little girl responded by cuddling close. Everything was perfect.

    Everything except the fact that I need to pee. I’m supposed to get my break now. I could just go in my diaper. Astra would love that so much.

    It was a hard decision to contemplate on such a gentle wakeup. Sarita deferred the decision until her need for the bathroom had gone from a mild notification to an urgent alert. She gave Astra one more nuzzle and kiss before breaking the news.

    “I’m going to take my break now.”

    The disappointment in Astra’s eyes was immediate and unmistakable. Despite that, she gave Sarita’s arm a squeeze and nodded.

    “I’ll be ready as soon as your break is done.”

    Guilt gnawed at Sarita while she went through her morning routine. It had sucked to have thrown cold water on such a warm moment. Also awkward was the fact that she had no clean clothes. Luckily, Astra leant Sarita a robe as soon as she asked. Eyeing the diaper and changing supplies that had already been set out on the bed, Sarita fled to the kitchen.

    With jam-covered toast and a cup of coffee inside her, Sarita was feeling up to anything. The morning’s guilt had faded to a pinprick of doubt. Astra had been a little quiet over breakfast, but Sarita reasoned that she was merely taking advantage of the break as well.

    “I think – I’m ready to play again,” Sarita said, swirling the last couple of sips-worth of coffee in her mug.

    “Great!” Astra’s face was suddenly beaming. Without further ado, she had Sarita out of her chair and back in the bedroom. From saying she was ready to play, to Sarita naked on a changing blanket, had been less than a minute.

    Chuckling to herself at her girlfriend’s extreme eagerness, Sarita relaxed into the diapering. She was surprised that there was no onesie or other baby clothes presented once her diaper was on. Astra had a long skirt and a cute t-shirt with a cartoon character instead.

    As before, Astra made a point of showing Sarita the store tags before she cut them off. Though the gesture was as sweet as it had been before, it begged the question of just how many sets of new clothes Astra had. There were either boxes of them hidden somewhere in the apartment, or all of Astra’s Little Girls had similar body types. Thigh highs and black Mary Jane’s completed Sarita’s outfit. Even the shoes had been new.

    “There’s my Princess! You look darling. I’m sad to say that I have to take you home before long. Should I launder your clothes from last night, or would you rather take them home?”

    “It might not be a terrible idea for me to have a change of clothes over here,” Sarita said shyly.

    “I think it’s a wonderful idea.” Astra kissed Sarita with longing tenderness. “I had an absolutely beautiful time with you last night and this morning. I can’t wait for the next time.”

    The sliver of doubt in Sarita spread into fresh guilt. Her Angel looked so happy, in contrast to her disappointment in bed, that Sarita felt she had to make up for being a downer.

    “Maybe next time I won’t need a break in the morning,” Sarita said hesitantly. No sooner were the words out of her mouth than Astra swept her up into a big hug, squealing in delight.

    “My Princess! My pretty, perfect Princess. You make me so happy! I love – what we have, do you know that? I’m so glad I have such a darling girl.”

    Giggling and giddy at the rush of praise and emotion, Sarita went up on her tiptoes to kiss her Angel. Her hands found Astra’s breasts, while her Angel’s found her diaper. Their kiss drew out passionately, punctuated by loud crinkles from Sarita’s diaper.

    “I hate that I have to take you home.” Astra pressed her forehead to Sarita’s.

    “Even if you didn’t have to, I’ve got to see my kitty. He’ll be upset as it is.”

    “Of course, the mysterious Nero. Do you think I’ll see him this time?”

    “Maybe. It takes him a while to come out and greet people.” Most people, anyway.

    “We better get going then. I want to get into Nero’s good graces as soon as I can.” Astra reluctantly disengaged from Sarita and went to the living room for her purse. As she slung it over her shoulder, Astra looked back at Sarita and bit her lip.

    “I suppose we should get that diaper off you, since we’re going outside.”

    Sarita squirmed, trying to ignore the crinkling under her skirt. “If we’re going straight to your car – then right up to my apartment – I could wear it for you.”

    “Oh Princess.” Astra beamed. “If you keep being such a good girl, you’re not going to get any more of those spankings you like so much.”

    “I thought you were going to buy more flower pots.” Sarita grinned mischeviously.

    “For you, I’ll buy a warehouse of them.” Astra held out her hand, which Sarita obediently took.

    I think it’s working out with me and my Angel. Sarita thought, as she watched the streets go by from Astra’s passenger seat. She keeps dancing around the L word. I’m pretty sure she wants to say it. Do I love her? How do you know when you’re in love with someone? Maybe Mimi knows, or Ineis.