Adult Changeling (Chapters)

The sound of Roan’s messy accident had faded away, but the smell was only growing stronger. Time seemed to slow and attenuate as it did in Faerie.  Roan tried to will herself to vanish, perish, or anything else that would get her out of her current situation. An incongruously happy sound shattered the illusion of stopped time but left Roan floundering in a morass of confusion. Hannah had laughed.

“It looks like there’s something I need to take care of before we deal with everything you said.” Hannah took Roan’s hand, the faerie girl wrenched it out of her packmate’s grasp with surprising difficulty.

“No! I’d never make you do that, I’ll go to the shower. I’m sorry, I know I’m disgusting, I…”

“Mariah! I mean, Roan! Listen to me, you’re not disgusting.” Hannah took both Roan’s hands. To her horror, the hound girl realized she was tired from pulling away the first time. Her struggles the second time around were pathetic – likely not registering with Hannah as struggles at all. They certainly wouldn’t have felt like a real effort to Roan, even at her previous human level of strength.

“Hannah, why?”

“Because you need cleaning up and I promised I’d take care of you?’

“No – why are you being kind?” Because the mortal girl was being kind, inexplicably. She had no connection to Roan, who had in fact outed herself as an enemy. Despite that, the caring look with which Hannah favored the fae girl was unchanged from before Roan’s secret had come out.

“I love you.”

“No you don’t! You can’t!” Roan whimpered and tugged ineffectually at Hannah’s grip. “You don’t know me. I’m an enemy. I betrayed you!”

“You never betrayed me. I suspect you saved me from whoever or whatever that was in the driveway.”

“Craddock would never have been here if it wasn’t for me.”

“I don’t know if that’s true. After all, I doubt you masterminded Mariah’s kidnapping just so you could end up on my bed in a dirty diaper.”

“No, that was the Queen’s command – and the Princess’s request. Her Master of the Hunt brought me here against my will.”

“There you have it, we weren’t safe before you got here.” Hannah stood and pulled Roan to her feet. “Come with me, I’m going to change your diaper.”

Confusion and the uncomfortable mush in Roan’s diaper made for a shaky-legged walk to her room. Though she thought she’d plumbed the depths of shame before, Roan discovered she’d barely touched on mortal humiliation, when Hannah tore the tapes on her diaper. The only thing preventing her from stopping her packmate was the fact that she wasn’t sure she could accomplish the task on her own. To be unsure if she could change her own diaper was a dizzying drop in competency from hurling Craddock across the driveway. That drop left Roan unable to trust anything about her body, especially after a messy accident.

Mercifully, the mortal world’s inexorable march of time meant that Roan’s ordeal was finite, passing as surely as the seconds did. She had not a whimper of protest for the fresh diaper that Hannah put on her – she was already dreading the thought of how necessary that diaper might be.

“There you go.” Hannah patted Roan’s diaper in a satisfied way. “You’re a clean baby again.”

There was no use protesting her status as a baby either, Roan thought dismally. “Thank you – M-mommy.”

“Do you still want me to be your Mommy?”

“I think I need one.” The words broke Roan’s heart as only truth could do. She fell into Hannah’s lap, sobbing. Though it took a while, the comforting feeling of Hannah’s fingers combing through Roan’s hair brought the fae girl back to her senses. “I’m sorry, I…”

“You need to stop apologizing for a bit.” Hannah gently pressed a finger to Roan’s lips. “I don’t understand what’s going on, so I don’t know what these apologies are for, exactly. Do you feel up to explaining what’s going on?”

With a mighty sniffle, Roan nodded. Sitting up and taking a deep breath restored some of her equilibrium – reminded her that she was not really a mortal baby. I’m a Huntress, a Hound of the fae. I must be stronger than this.

“Your packmate – um, friend, Mariah was caught up in a grudge between the Princess of the Court of Glass, and Mariah’s mother. Lord Ehadenther, the Master of the Hunt, was supposed to exchange me for Mariah as punishment, but he dragged his feet – until she wasn’t a baby.”

“He dragged his feet for twenty years?!”

Roan shrugged. “Time doesn’t move steadily in Faerie. It’s one of the hardest things for me to get used to here. A day there could be twenty years here, or a thousand years there could be a day here.”

“What did Mariah’s mother supposedly do to the Princess anyway?”

“I have no idea.” Roan sighed. “The Princess is as cruel and capricious as any royal.”

“How long is this supposed to go on? When is the Queen planning on swapping you two back?”

“I – I can’t say. Maybe never.” Roan sighed. “She entombed my father and said that would be forever.”

“She – what?”

“He’s…” Roan sobbed and shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it. There’s still hope for my dad and Mariah, that’s what’s important.”

“Oh Roan, sweetie.” Hanna scooted over and took the fae girl in her arms. “What can I do?”

“Nothing. Craddock wasn’t even a real faerie, and he’s stronger than you. Against a real one…”

“No, not about our captured people – I know that’ll take time.” Hannah rested her head gently against Roan’s. “What can I do for you right now?”

“I don’t know!” Roan wailed. “I wasn’t having real accidents, I only did it because I thought I had to pretend to be a baby – then the Princess cursed me to make my accidents real. I lost my disguise – which was terrible – but now it’s back but I’m weak. I don’t know what to do.”

“You’ve had a hard day. Between work, getting into a fight, and whatever else happened to you… I think you need a snack and a nap.”

“Are you treating me like a baby?”

“A bit, yes.”

“O-okay.” Roan sighed, leaning listlessly against Hannah. “It sounds nice. Especially the nap.”

Bits of crisp bread and cheese went down deliciously with sweet fruit juice. The moment Hannah wrapped Roan’s blankets around her, a powerful lethargy sapped what was left of her strength. Strugglingly to keep her eyes open, she looked up at Hannah. “What are you going to tell the others?”

“Nothing. You and Forrest and I can talk later. You’ll be part of any discussions, I promise.”

“Thanks – Mommy.”

“Sleep well, sweet girl.”

~~~*~~~

Roan woke to the sound of soft singing, and the odd sensation of having her feet lifted into the air. In the minute or so that it took her to come out of her sleepy lethargy, Bless had already wiped her rear. She’s not asking, or bothering to wake me up for changes anymore? As much as the cavalier way she was being treated stung – Roan dreaded what would happen once Bless discovered her new level of incapacity. As it was, her limbs felt heavy with sleep, despite her mind becoming fully alert. The weakness her changeling locket had put on her seemed to be getting worse. In a moment of despair, Roan wondered what would happen if her fae power was stripped away entirely. Would she become a mortal girl – a twin of Mariah? Perhaps it would kill her instead. She wasn’t sure which she preferred, especially since the first option doomed her to a mortal’s mayfly lifespan anyway.

“Are you awake, sweetie?” Bless presented Roan with a bottle who’s bright colors and small size marked it as something for human children or infants. It was oddly constructed, with a perforated soft nub on the end, much like her pacifier. Her first suck on the bottle revealed it was filled with a milky substance. It’s – an artificial breast? Blushing mightily, Roan did her best to get the bottle empty quickly. She wasn’t sure she could climb out of bed on her own, resisting Bless would only lead to further humiliations.

“That’s a good baby!” Bless grinned and put the empty bottle away. “How’re you feeling? Hannah said you had a poopy accident today.”

She told Bless? Roan sighed. It was only fair for Hannah to warn Bless as to what she might be getting into as a caretaker, she supposed. Hannah didn’t know that Bless was ensorcelled and would happily do anything required of her – something that Roan was not eager to discuss with her lover and mommy.

“Just one. I hope I won’t have any more.”

“If you do, that’s fine. I don’t mind taking care of my baby girl. You look a little sad though, was work hard?” Bless gently rubbed Roan’s belly. “Do you want to play fetch?”

“I – I think I’m too tired.”

“Oh sweetie. Is work too much for you? I can’t believe the rest of the roommates are okay with my baby girl going to work.”

“We need the money.” More than the money, Roan felt desperate to contribute.

“I’m sure we can figure something else out. We’ll see how you feel tomorrow.” Bless pulled Roan up to a sitting position and gave the diapered girl a warm hug. “Anyway, I don’t think another nap is good for you right now. Do you want to practice your writing?”

If physical activities were out, then rune practice was a great idea. Or it would have been, if the idea didn’t sound as energy-sapping as chasing after a ball. Roan’s reluctance must have showed on her face, because Bless abandoned her questions and helped the fae girl out of bed. Crawling behind Bless across the house left Roan grateful to plop down on her padded butt in Bless’ room.

“I think you’re feeling a lot like a baby right now, is that right?” Bless seemed delighted at Roan’s slight nod. “I love you that way, darling. Here, try these.”

A pile of brightly colored blocks with odd raised bumps filled the transparent bag that Bless handed to Roan. Some investigation showed that the blocks were hollow, and that they’d fit together if the hollow portions were pressed onto the bumps of another block. All awareness of time fled from Roan while she put blocks together – sometimes in flowery shapes, other times as random collections of color that reminded her of the magical beauty of her home. She was so engrossed that she actually snarled at Bless when the mortal girl took her blocks away and put Roan on her back. Bless seemed unimpressed with the snarl, ignoring Roan in favor of her diaper.

Even Roan’s now-mortal sense of smell could detect the presence of more than wet in her diaper. Though her accident hadn’t been nearly as bad as the first time she’d messed her diaper, it was still a demoralizing loss. She had occasion to be glad that she’d ensorcelled Bless to treat her like a baby – the mortal girl’s indifferent acceptance of Roan’s accidents meant no conversation about the diapered girl’s humiliating incapacity. Faced with a bowl of mush to eat and the prospect of a nap after, Roan surrendered to the baby treatment with a gratefulness that surprised her. Too much had happened in short succession for her to be able to face anything outside the comfortable warmth of Bless’ bed.

~~~*~~~

When he heard about Roan’s weakened state, Corey insisted on lifting her out of bed and carrying her to the living room. He was surprisingly strong for someone with such a slight frame, though the effort of carrying an adult girl was evident on his face. The diaper changing supplies awaited them at their destination – indicating that Corey had joined Bless in deciding that Roan didn’t require privacy anymore. At least her post-nap diaper was merely wet, Roan let the change happen and quizzed Corey on the use of her phone. Her hope that Corey would take her curiosity and ability to learn as evidence that she wasn’t completely incapable seemed well founded – her first good news since the incident with Craddock.

“If you slide your finger up the screen like this, the phone shows you a list of all the things it can do.” Corey had Roan in his lap, with an arm tucked protectively around her waist. “Each of those icons – pictures – is called an App, and they each do something different.”

Having pictographic representations of the phone’s seemingly endless abilities was a relief to Roan. She could draw human runes tolerably well, but certainly wasn’t reading them fluently. “Forrest said there’s one that makes paintings.”

“Do you mean photographs, or an app you can use to draw?” Corey seemed to take Roan’s ignorance of the first classification he’d mentioned in stride. As long as she was safe, his oath seemed to make him ignore anything strange about Mariah. “A photograph is – here, I’ll show you.”

Corey made the phone show what was in front of it and pressed a circle on the screen. There was a flash of light, and the moment the phone had showed was frozen for Roan to see. It was the most detailed painting she’d ever imagined, captured as perfectly as her eyes had seen the room. Moments away from that revelation was the introduction of the word selfie, which lead to a delightful session of taking increasingly ridiculous photographs of herself and Corey. That in turn lead to Corey showing Roan how to decorate her photographs – though the animal ear filter gave her a painful pang in her chest. I was such a pretty hound. Will I ever look that way again?

Luckily, Corey moved on to apps that would show Roan photographs that other humans had taken, as well as expanding Roan’s knowledge of how the communication function worked. He helped arrange her phone’s list of people with himself and her other packmates at the top, at which point a tide of emotion drove Roan to hug him tightly.

“You’re a good teacher. Thank you, Corey.”

“This is all stuff you need to know – well not so much Snapchat I guess, but the better you get at using your phone, the better I’ll feel about letting you go to work.”

“I can do it. Today was just hard.”

“I wish you didn’t have to take the risk.” Corey sighed. “If I made more money it wouldn’t be an issue.”

I might be able to arrange that, Roan mused. While outright robbing a mortal with her magic still felt wrong – for reasons Roan still didn’t understand – using her magic to ensorcell a mortal to help Corey felt good. There was little chance he’d take her to his workplace without knowing the reason, though, and even if he knew the reason he might not agree. Roan filed the idea away with countless other plans that had been delayed by her baby state.

“I’m not crazy, I promise!” Forrest’s voice from the front door was a shock to Corey and Roan both. “What I saw wasn’t an animal, and it wasn’t any kind of costume. Laugh at me if you want, Hannah, but it was an alien or – or…”

“I believe you.” Hannah stepped into the living room with Forrest. “It was a nervous laugh, I wasn’t trying to dismiss you.”

“What’s this about an alien?” Corey slid Roan off his lap and swiftly stood.

“Look, I know how this is going to sound.” Forrest sighed and set his pack down. “I saw a – short person, but they weren’t human. If it looked like anything, it was like a goblin. It had long hair, and was dressed in futuristic clothes. The whole thing was like seeing a special effects scene in person.”

“We have to make sure the house is secure. Mariah can’t leave the house until we’re certain she’ll be safe.” Corey’s emphatic tone drew incredulous stares from Hannah and Forrest.

“You believe me?” Forrest’s mouth gaped.

“You’re not a liar.” Corey frowned grimly. “What can we do to secure the house?”

“Let’s not get crazy. Why would it come here?” Hannah cast a worried glance at Roan. “I don’t think there’s any reason to panic.”

“It was looking for me specifically, it knew my name.” Forrest shook his head. “This is fucking bonkers, but I know what I saw.”

“See? We need to arm ourselves. I can borrow my dad’s handgun.” Corey stalked to the foyer to grab his coat.

“Nobody is bringing guns into this house!” Hannah shouted, suddenly red faced.

“I’ll bring a goddamn militia in here if that’s what I need to do to protect Mariah!” Corey shouted back.

“What the hell is with this obsession?” Forrest grabbed Corey’s arm, only to be roughly pushed away. “The last few days you’ve been nuts over protecting Mariah.”

“Someone has to!”

Roan’s weary gaze was drawn to the North hall, where Bless had emerged. No doubt the shouting had drawn her – but her oath would have her just as passionately involved in the fight as Corey in moments. Taking a deep breath, Roan waited for a break in the shouting to say, “The house is secure. If it’s just a Goblin, it can’t get in here.”

Corey shook his head.  “Mariah, honey, it’s cute that you feel that way but you’re not really one to judge what is and isn’t safe.”

“Ro-Mariah, you don’t have to do this right now – not when everyone’s shouting.” Hannah stepped toward Roan, only to be jealously blocked by Bless.

“Stop screaming in front of the baby!” Bless’ butt landed hard on the couch; she wrapped her arms protectively around Roan.

“What the hell is going on?” Forrest’s anger gave no heed to Bless’ demand. “Everyone is losing their mind! Mariah, what were you talking about, do you know about this thing? Does Hannah? What didn’t you want her to say, Hannah?”

“Everyone quiet!” Roan was pleased that she could, at least, manage a decent bellow. In the tiny space of quiet her shout carved out, she said, “I have something to tell you all – well, Hannah already knows, but only because the secret came out in front of her.”

Hannah was wringing her hands. The other three were watching Roan, captivated. “I’m a Changeling. My name is Roan – I was swapped out for Mariah when the faerie kidnapped her. The house is safe because I warded it. I don’t know why a goblin is here, but I’m sure it’s for nothing good.”

“Oh, baby girl! That’s very creative, but of course you’re not a changeling.” Bless giggled and squeezed Roan, despite the fae girl’s attempt to escape.

“What ward? Can you tell me how it works? I can’t trust it unless I can be sure it’s really going to protect us from the goblin.” Corey advanced on the couch, staring intently at Roan.

“This is insanity! Corey, you’re accepting this straight up? The thing I saw was weird, but this story is a whole level,” Forrest said, his voice desperate and wild. “I think whatever that thing was, it’s what assaulted Mariah, and her memories are messed up.”

“Hannah.” Roan pleaded.

“Roan is telling the truth.” Hannah smiled nervously as all eyes turned to her. “I saw her transform – and throw another weird creature twenty feet like he was made of Styrofoam.”

Corey squared up against Hannah angrily. “She got in a fight! Why weren’t you watching…”

“Shut up!” Hannah glared at him. “She’s fine, and there’s no danger now. Nothing for you to protect her from.” Shaking but silent, Corey backed off.

“Is this really real?” Forrest stared at Roan. The hurt in his eyes pierced to the core of Roan’s heart. If there was a worse way for him to have found out the truth, she couldn’t think of one.

“It’s real. I’m sorry for deceiving you, but when I was left here, I didn’t know what good people you all are.” Roan sniffled and batted Bless’ tissue-bearing hand away. “My only option was to pretend to be Mariah – but the fae that sent me here thought she was a baby, so I had to play that part.”

“You are a baby, sweetie.” Bless nuzzled Roan insistently.

“I’m not! I – have some problems brought on by the magic that gave me Mariah’s form – look, that’s not important right now. I’m sorry.”

Forrest fell into an armchair like he was a puppet and his strings had been cut. “Is that why Bless and Corey are acting so weird? The – faeries – that kidnapped Mariah cast spells on them?”

“N-no.” Roan hung her head, unwilling to see Forrest’s reaction, or Hannah’s for that matter. “I ensorcelled them, to protect myself. They weren’t willing to go along with the baby thing as much as you and Hannah were.”

“What?!” Forrest stared at Corey and Bless. “Are you two okay?”

“Of course.” They answered together. Roan peeked up to see her two ensorcelled packmates regarding Forrest as if he were being ridiculous.

“You’re not angry – or frightened – or something to find out there’s a spell on you? To find out that magic is real at all?”

“If what she’s saying is true – and it’s not another of my little cutie’s games – then I’m glad she did it.” Bless grinned and kissed Roan on the head. “I wouldn’t want to love her less.”

“She did what she needed to do to protect herself.” Corey shrugged. “It makes perfect sense. It was the right call.”

“Mariah – Roan!” Forrest glared at Roan, her stomach boiled with caustic guilt. “You mind controlled them?!”

“Not – precisely. I don’t know a lot of magic so I had them swear oaths. Bless’ is to take care of me as her baby – Corey’s is to protect me, and the household.”

“I wish you’d told me about this earlier.” Hannah sighed.

“I wish I’d heard about this at all!” Forrest shouted back.

“I only found out today, and I promised Roan that I wouldn’t tell you without talking to her…” Hannah gasped at Roan in horror. “I promised you, does that mean…”

“No!” Roan shook her head. “No, I didn’t choose to make the oath binding. It’s something I have to do consciously. You don’t have to worry about saying the word promise around me.”

“Clearly we have to worry about it at least a little.” Forrest frowned.

“Forrest, you need to stop.” Bless got up and stood between Roan and Forrest. “I won’t let you yell at my baby like this.”

“No fighting.” Corey frowned. “I won’t let this get physical between us. We clearly have some things to resolve – but maybe we should take a break from this conversation.”

“Yeah, I’m out.” Forrest was at the door moments after the words had left his lips.

“Forrest, please don’t run out.” Hannah pleaded.

“What are you going to do if you see that goblin again? At least take a weapon.” Corey called.

Without acknowledging either of them, Forrest was out the door, slamming it behind him. The sound of his car starting up poured acid into the cauldron of Roan’s stomach until her throat burned. Though she wasn’t running out the door, Hannah looked terribly withdrawn from Roan, her arms wrapped protectively around her. With a sad look at Roan, Hannah retreated down the hall to her bedroom.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fix this, I won’t let the house fall apart.” Corey knelt by Roan, taking her hand sincerely.

“Until he does, we’ll take care of you, baby girl.” Bless crushed Roan in a desperate hug. “I’ll make sure you have everything you need. You won’t be lonely, or sad, okay?”

Faking a smile was necessary to keep her ensorcelled mortals from escalating, but lonely and sad were perfect descriptors for Roan. She begged off for a nap and Bless was happy to tuck her in. Though she closed her eyes, she neither expected nor encountered sleep. The worst chewing out she’d gotten as a Hound in the Queen’s hunt had not compared to the betrayed hurt in Forrest’s eyes, or the way Hannah had withdrawn from her.

In Faerie, Roan had mocked mortal emotions along with everyone else. They were so tepid, so slow to change – lacking the passionate power of a fae heart. Roan curled her lip bitterly at the memory. The fae had no idea of the depth of a human emotion, of the mind-shattering power of grief. Knowing the potency of mortal emotions only wracked Roan with more grief, as she had a perfect picture of the hurt she’d inflicted on Forrest and Hannah.

There has to be a way to fix this. I have to get home. It was foolish to believe that I had a real friendship with Hannah, or that Forrest cared about me. He cares about Mariah, of course. The best thing I can do for him is to bring her back – and the best thing I can do for Hannah is to leave her alone, so that my lies can’t hurt her anymore.

Crying silently, so as not to alert Bless, Roan huddled under her blankets and spun her thoughts uselessly on plans to get back to Faerie. Nothing came to mind that she hadn’t already considered – and now she had physical incapacity on top of her earlier problems. Nevertheless, Roan chewed at the problem stubbornly, hoping over and over that a solution would appear.