“You’re really not mad?” Camila paced nervously in front of Belén’s bed, wishing she wasn’t wet for the conversation they were having. The Heathers weren’t insisting that she wear diapers all the time anymore – but that didn’t mean that Camila felt safe in a pair of underwear. In all likelihood she would have been fine in a pullup, but her mommy hadn’t asked. Betty had given her a new diaper during her morning change, and there was something about lying on her back, getting her butt wiped by her mommy that made it hard for Camila to insist she was too big for diapers.
“I wish you’d told me faster than a week – but I’m not angry.” Belén caught Camila on one of her passes by the bed and pulled down to sit. As always, the Spanish girl was well dressed. Today’s outfit included a pencil skirt with a long slit up the side – which was hot, but which Camila was nervous to sit on. The material looked too nice to weather a diaper leak well.
Then I just won’t leak – I don’t need to wet again, I only did because I got distracted working on the LGBTQA club event, Camila thought, leaning carefully against her girlfriend. The trees outside Belén’s dorm were properly blustery, stripped bare of their leaves by a week of heavy fall winds. The naked branches thrashed and threw spooky shadows on the plaster walls. It’d be a great room for cuddling up over hot chocolate – if only Belén didn’t have a roommate. After being punished with enforced diapers and spankings for revealing the DLG sorority secret, Camila wasn’t about to tempt fate and expose Belén’s roommate to her diapers. That probably meant the punishment had worked as intended, forcing Camila into yet more grudging admiration of Heather.
Meanwhile, Belén had been waiting patiently while Camila let her thoughts wander. She hadn’t meant to leave her girlfriend hanging, it was simply difficult to talk about Ginger’s revelation at all. Camila took a deep breath and said, “I know it took a while to tell you – but you’re the first one. Unless Ginger told someone – and I don’t know who she’d tell – it’s only her, me, and you that know she confessed her love to me.”
“You didn’t even tell Betty?” Belén sounded surprised, and pleased.
“Nope, or Lamara either.”
“It’s grieving you to think about, isn’t it?”
Grieving me? Oh, me da pena. It’s giving me trouble. “Yes, I don’t know what to do – except that I have to fix it.”
“Do you?” Belén shook her head at Camila’s frown. “Think about it seriously. You said she told you not to contact her again.”
“Because she was scared, and upset!” Camila folded her arms. “She used to be my best friend – and now we’re enemies because she fell in love with me and I didn’t realize it? That’s horrible! There has to be a way to get back to being friends.”
“I’m not sure that’s true – but I agree that it’s a bad situation, especially since you live in the same house.” Belén sighed. “Why don’t you give it some time? A month or two?”
“That’s not my way. I already gave her a week, I have to do something.”
“Well you’re not doing anything until you have a plan – and a diaper change.”
“I told you, you don’t have to do that.” Camila grumped. “I can…”
“Shush.” Belén put a finger to Camila’s lips. “I’m starting to think I shouldn’t give you the choice on that anymore.”
“Wh-what do you mean?” Camila squirmed nervously, heat spreading across her cheeks.
“You worry too much about inconveniencing me, and you let it go until you’re – how do you say, quisquilloso?”
“I’m not fussy!” Camila said.
“Fussy!” Belén chimed in with Camila for the last word. “Yes you are. Lie down on the bed.”
“I don’t have to wear them anymore – I was going to work on not needing diapers at school.” Camila as she laid back on the changing blanket Belén spread out for her.
“Why?” Belén’s apparently genuine unconcern caught Camila off guard. “You have Betty to change you at home, me to change you at school, Amanda too in a pinch. Maybe we can con another free babysitting out of Monserrat for emergencies.”
“You don’t like it that much – do you?” Uncertainty had Camila feeling hesitant and submissive – a feeling that redoubled when Belén crawled atop her, straddling Camila’s hips with her hands planted on either side of the Little girl’s shoulders.
“It makes me surprisingly hot.” Belén grinned toothily, the way she liked to do before pinning Camila to the bed for a wonderfully dirty time. Involuntarily, Camila arched her back, feeling heat build between her legs as it overflowed her cheeks.
“Really? I mean, I’m glad but…”
“It’s not the diapers, exactly – I don’t think. It’s like I have a little bit of control over you all the time, but also I’m taking care of you.”
“You’ll take care of me?”
“Of course. You’re my Little girl.”
Camila opened her mouth to respond, but could only manage a whimper. The world blurred as hot tears poured down her temples. Blinking cleared her vision in time to see a soft, almost pained look of love on Belén’s face.
“Oh, querida…” Belén brought her lips to Camila’s, shifting lower until they were pressed together from chest to hip. Camila wrapped her arms and legs around Belén, taking a shuddering breath as their lips parted.
Belén tucked herself against Camila’s side, slipping a hand into the Little girl’s diaper and worming her other arm around Camila’s shoulders. The hot pulse of sensation from Belén’s fingers sliding over her slit closed Camila’s legs involuntarily. Deftly, Belén’s leg crooked around Camila’s and spread her open again, drawing a gasp from the diapered girl.
In a dizzying shift, Camila found herself with Belén’s fingers inside her kitty, and the Spanish girl’s other thumb in her mouth. She was trapped – wrapped up tightly, spread, exposed – all she could do was suck, squeeze, and moan with a noise that came from the depths of her belly. Somewhere around the second time Camila cried out, Belén withdrew her thumb. The Little girl’s needy moans were quickly answered by the mattress dipping as Belén set her knees to either side of Camila’s head. Her girlfriend’s kitty was hot like a brand on Camila’s lips, wet enough to soak her from nose to chin.
Reverently, Camila lapped at Belén’s sex, desperate to be more than just a Little girl, but a good girl too. Her whole world in that moment was defined by the desire to be the very best girl for the gorgeous, lithe woman above her. To return the love and understanding Belén had so bravely offered in the face of something that most women would have run screaming from. Belén was taking it all, grinding desperately against Camila’s mouth and chin – using her with lusty abandon that triggered a small spasm of pleasure between Camila’s legs.
When Belén had finished holding a pillow to her own face to muffle the scream that made her whole body go taut, she slid down the Little girl’s body to tangle their limbs together into a languid, spent hug. Snuggles and nuzzles became stroking Camila’s hair, smoothly transitioning to cleaning up her face with gently applied wipes. From there, Belén mopped up their sweatiest spots and slipped Camila’s diaper off. There was no discernable difference between the Belén that had wiped her girlfriend’s sex-mussed face and the one that ran wet wipes across Camila’s rear and crotch until she was tingly-clean all over.
Still cradling Camila with one arm, Belén worked a fresh diaper under the Little girl’s hips. Lotion took a while, until Camila thought she’d need Belén’s fingers on her kitty again. Instead, the feeling stayed gentle – a loving touch that stirred Camila’s nerves without reigniting the fire between her legs. To apply the powder, Belén let the bottle fall over onto her hand and sifted it through her fingers like she was preparing a counter for baking. Camila giggled, which set Belén giggling – the two of them nuzzles noses and exchanged little kisses while Belén patted Camila’s powder down. At last, Camila felt her diaper wrapped securely around her – tugged bit by bit until Belén managed to set the tapes without letting go of her Little girl.
“I think – that was my favorite diaper change I’ve ever gotten.”
“Really?” It was Belén’s turn to tear up, with a hopeful, sweet smile on her face.
“Yeah.” Camila sighed happily, tucking her head under Belén’s chin. “I don’t want it off – but I honestly don’t have to wear them all the time. If you want a break…”
“What if you had to wear them all the time – because I say so?”
Camila swallowed around a little lump in her throat. “You – want to keep me in diapers?”
“If you give me that power – yes.” Belén drew her knuckles whisper soft across Camila’s cheek. A pulse of desire between Camila’s legs let her know that if things turned sexy – she could absolutely go again, probably several times more.
With trembling lips, Camila whispered against Belén’s neck. “Whatever you say, niñera.”
“Good girl.” Belén tilted Camila’s chin up and kissed her. The Little girl let herself slip under the warm waters of that kiss, sinking into Belén’s love like a comforting bath.
~~~*~~~
They’d been lucky to get Camila’s pink sweatpants on – and especially her wet diaper hidden – before Belén’s roommate had come home. Camila didn’t know how long she and Belén had snuggled, kissed, and stared into each other’s eyes, but it hadn’t been enough. She’d hoped to come home a bit wobbly in the legs – and the sex had certainly been good enough for that – but her body was long recovered. Instead, she was emotionally wobbly, feeling the crisp sting of late autumn air on her cheeks at a distance, as if she was dreaming.
It was impossible to imagine a better mood for confronting Ginger – even if the altercation would likely spoil her bliss. Floating on a cloud of love, plus a total sense of security in her relationship with Belén, would give Camila a great buffer for getting past her former friend’s prickly snark and into some genuine conversation. She couldn’t have planned things better if she’d tried – except that Ginger wasn’t home.
“Do you know when she’ll be back?” Camila asked Amy, roommate to Ginger and someone Camila hoped she’d be able to be friends with once she’d patched things up with her rival. Amy’s side of the room had a veritable parliament of stuffies dominating her wall-shelves, piquing Camila’s interest.
“No idea, she’s never here anymore. Check Chun’s room.” Amy shrugged. “Honestly, if you’re looking for Ginger, you should go there first. No idea why you’d go looking for Ginger, though.”
“Huh? Do you two not get along?”
“Me?” Amy chuckled. “Ginger and I are fine. I’m talking about you. Are you trying to start another fight, or what?”
“No, I need to patch things up with her, we used to be best friends and…”
“Okay well she’s not here.” Amy cut in. “Good luck finding her.”
Camila blinked at the twin dismissal of Amy’s fake smile and quickly closing bedroom door. Did Ginger tell her all kinds of stuff about me? Am I just unpopular in the Sorority? I don’t have a lot of close friends here… Uncertainty gnawed at Camila while she walked down the cramped DLG house halls – she managed to put it away when she came to Chun and Sui-Yin’s door. Setting her friendliest smile on her face, Camila knocked.
“Coming.” It wasn’t Ginger’s voice. Despite being able to tell the twins apart visually, Camila still couldn’t distinguish them by voice. She was relieved to see Chun answer the door. “Oh – um, hi Camila.”
I can work with this. I hear Chun really cares about Ginger – she can be a big help! “Hi Chun!” Camila said brightly. “I was looking for Ginger, but you too actually. Is it okay if I come in to talk?”
Chun sighed. “Camila – I’m not going to say anything bad about my girlfriend, or listen to you talk her down either.”
“I’m not here for that! The opposite, actually!” Camila laced her fingers behind her back, turning her winning smile up a notch. “I want to fix things between Ginger and me – I’m hoping you can help.”
Chun stared at Camila deadpan for an uncomfortably long moment. Finally, she shrugged. “It’s worth a try to have less drama – come in.”
“Thanks!” Camila stepped in, taking her first real look around the twins’ room.
It was the most integrated double-room she’d seen so far, looking almost like a single person lived there. Careful observation showed some personality and academic interest differences between the girls – a lot more school spirit oriented items on Chun’s side of the room, and shelves stuffed with romance novels on Sui-Yin’s side. She took a seat on Chun’s desk chair, wincing at the loud crinkle her diaper made. Her favorite diaper change ever hadn’t resulted in a tight fit – naturally enough considering Belén had done the whole thing one handed.
“You’re still in diapers?” The question made Camila tense, but Chun’s expression was merely curious, and her tone was free of malice.
Might as well make myself a little vulnerable – and see if she’s kind about it. Bracing herself with the memory of Belén’s warm embrace, Camila nodded. “I have real accidents sometimes. Plus um – my girlfriend is insisting on them.”
“Betty?”
“No – she’s my Mommy – I mean Belén.”
Chun chuckled. “You’re like catnip, aren’t you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Come on, you got a Mommy right away, plus a girlfriend, and didn’t you make out with one of the Delta Bs?” Chun raised her hands defensively at Camila’s frown. “Hey, I have no problem with polyamory.”
Camila raised her brows, thinking, You don’t? Your girlfriend sure does. “I… actually, it doesn’t matter what I think about that. I came to talk about Ginger.”
“It kind of matters.” Chun stretched. “My sister is into you. If you patched things up with Ginger, we could double-date.”
“She – what?”
“She’s not super in love with you or anything, but she’s been checking you out.” Chun grinned. “You’d be cute together.”
“Why are you trying to set me up with your sister?” A memory tickled at Camila’s thoughts, “Wait, she told me you were trying to fix her up – are you just throwing random women at her?”
“How are you random? You two are already friends, and I’ve seen you check her boobs out more than once.” Chun grinned at Camila’s blush. “If you and Ginger made up, that’d make for great doubles.”
“Stop trying to derail me. Can we please talk about Ginger?”
“I don’t really want to.” Chun sighed. “It feels like going behind my girlfriend’s back.”
“It’s not! I mean – okay, that’s for you to decide.” Camila balled her fists up on her knees. “I was planning to talk to her directly, but since you’re here, I’d like to understand her better. You could be a big help in letting her know that I’m sincere.”
“Are you though?” Chun sat forward, fixing Camila with a surprisingly calculating gaze. “You two have said and done some nasty stuff to each other.”
That’s not fair, ninety percent of it was initiated by Ginger – but that’s not going to help here. Camila drew herself up and said, “I know I didn’t want to reconcile before – but that’s because I didn’t understand why she was mad at me. She must have talked to you about what happened when she spanked me.”
“Yeah, you two had another blow up, you said a ton of cruel stuff – again.” Chun’s eyes narrowed in the flinty expression of someone defending her girlfriend. Shock shattered Camila’s careful poker face, leaving her gaping at Chun. She doesn’t know? I shouldn’t tell her – right?
“I – it was more than that.” The lovely buffer from snuggling with Belén was gone, Camila felt like she was knee-deep in the surf, struggling to keep her balance against random waves. “A lot of things we hadn’t been saying came out. I finally understood – she finally told me why she was upset with me.”
“Look, I’m not saying that it’s Ginger’s best feature that she’s mad at you for showing her up, but you can hardly blame her. Emotions don’t check in with logic before they go off.”
“That’s not why she’s upset with me, it’s something else completely.”
“Bullshit.” Chun’s suddenly snarled curse hit Camila like a punch in the gut. “Don’t come here, behind my girlfriend’s back and lie to me…”
“I’m not a liar!” Camila shot to her feet, her cheeks hot.
“Oh yeah? Then what did Ginger say to you?”
“She told me that she’s in love with me!” Too late, Camila realized the look of triumph on Chun’s face had been there since she’d called Camila a liar. At least one of her hot-buttons was well known in the sorority – or more likely Ginger had told Chun how to get under her skin.
“I knew it. She would never admit it to me, not in a million years, but I knew she had feelings for you.” There was a hard edge to the smile on Chun’s face, twisting her mouth into more of a grimace as the revelation sank in.
“Chun, wait, no, she loves you. She didn’t even realize she had feelings for me.” Camila sat down hard, leaning forward, her brow furrowed in distress. “Ginger was horrified when she blurted out her confession. All she wanted to do was get back to you – she loves you.”
“I know she does.” Chun said flatly. “I’m not an idiot. I also knew I wasn’t the only one in her heart.”
“I’m not even available!” Camila wailed. “It’s not like we could…”
“You’re the most damn available girl on campus.” Chun sneered.
Another gut punch sucked the wind out of Camila – but left her with a spark of anger instead of shock. “Wow, you really are a good match for Ginger. It’s okay, this is college, you can say slut.”
Chun winced. “I – I’m sorry. That was over the line. I guess I do listen to my girlfriend too much.”
Camila’s crackling anger cried out for her to lash into Chun – for the righteous catharsis ripping into the other girl verbally would bring. With a deep breath, she put a lid on that fire and squashed it. “Apology accepted. I was shouting too.”
“Thanks.” Chun ran her hands through her hair. “You get why you’re not my favorite person, right? It’s not great to have another woman’s name in your girlfriend’s mouth all the time.”
“I’m sorry – I honestly didn’t know. I – I don’t know what would have happened if I’d figured it out back in high school.” Camila shook her head. “Ginger’s mom would have lost her mind if she’d dated a girl.”
“Yeah, she still has that opinion, I haven’t met Ginger’s mom – no idea if I ever will.” Chun hung her head. “I guess I’m worried – I’m her closet girlfriend – and I’ll never be the real one.”
“Chun, no. Ginger’s not like that. She’s loyal – oh my God she’s so loyal. That’s why it was such a mystery to me when we couldn’t be friends anymore. She wouldn’t – couldn’t lie about something like being in love with you either.”
“Love isn’t forever.” Chun looked up at Camila with a rueful smile. “No shade – but you of all people have to know that.”
“Some love is – I believe that.”
“Do you think you and Belén are forever?” Chun sighed at Camila’s wince. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine – and I don’t know. I hope so. After this afternoon…” Camila felt a giddy smile cross her face, along with some of the floaty feeling she’d come home with. “It might be.”
“I hope so. Really.”
“Chun – I don’t know that I love Ginger. I miss her as a friend, terribly, but love? I’ve never thought about that with her, and my romantic heart is with Belén.”
“Do you think that really matters – for me and Ginger – if she can’t let go of you?”
“There has to be a way to…”
“Hey Chun, I heard your sis was going to be out at the movies for a while, do you want to…” Ginger came to a dead stop just over the threshold, wearing the cutest, most revealing outfit Camila had seen her in – ever. Despite the cold, the red haired girl was in an actual halter top, and a skirt shorter than Camila had ever imagined her prudish rival wearing. The leather collar dangling from Ginger’s finger made Camila’s jaw drop – and drew her eyes to her rival’s silver choker with its sole circle of silver in the center.
Oh my God, she’s wearing a day collar? The incongruity of Ginger’s involvement in anything even BDSM adjacent held Camila fast to her seat and stilled her tongue. She’s been wearing it all the time! How – when…
“Ginger.” Chun’s voice broke the silence and drew both the other women’s gazes inexorably to her. “Are you in love with Camila?”
Camila watched Ginger’s heart shatter in the grief that blossomed on her face. The collar slipped off her finger and fell to the ground as if in slow-motion. Pain, shock, fear, all of them were written grotesquely on Ginger’s face. A jagged crack of sorrow split Camila’s heart to see her oldest friend in such terrible distress. She willed herself to get out of her chair and hug Ginger, but her limbs wouldn’t respond quickly enough. Ginger’s eyes flickered in distress from Chun to Camila – widening in shock as she read the concern there. The bottom dropped out of Camila’s stomach as she realized Ginger had looked into her heart just as easily as she’d gazed into Ginger’s. Oh no.
Ginger, I love you too.