Keeley’s night had been one of the roughest she’d known – including those during her worst benders. As her sunburn settled in, every waking moment was painful, itchy agony. Dreams were no escape either, the three headed bird person was waiting for her there. On another occasion Keeley might have felt bad about how many times she woke Trish up with her crying and fussing, but her constant distress had her completely self-focused. Even the bed felt weird. Trish’s bunk had enough space for the two of them to sleep comfortably, if closely, so space wasn’t the issue. Instead, Keeley found when she woke from a bad dream, she missed her crib bars keeping her safe.
When morning came, Trish fed Keeley a bottle, covered her in sunburn cream, and changed her diaper, before they both fell asleep in Keeley’s playpen. A more proper wake up came later, with a drowsy Keeley letting Trish feed her a baby-food breakfast. As tired as she was, she couldn’t remember what exactly she’d eaten, but it’d been tasty enough. Breakfast was followed by coffee for Trish and another nap for Keeley. Finally – with multiple naps, two meals, and a baby bottle under her belt, Keeley was ready to face the Playa again.
Trish dressed in a lovely sunflower print dress, and put Keeley in a pale yellow dress to match. It was, deliberately, the most covering thing Keeley had in her Little wardrobe. Trish had slathered her with sunscreen underneath it. Her babysitter even worked sunscreen into Keeley’s scalp, which left the Little girl’s hair greasy but was very welcome. The idea of having a sunburn peel under her hair was too gross to contemplate.
Though Keeley was eager to get back to her statue, that wasn’t their first stop. Trish pulled Keeley along by her hand to their neighbor’s camp. Shamefacedly, the diapered girl stood by Trish’s side while Jose, Carmen, Maria, and Joe ambled over to greet them.
“Hey everybody, there was some drama yesterday, which I’m sorry for.” Trish smiled ruefully. “I wanted to apologize for freaking out a little, but Keeley also has to apologize for her behavior.”
Trapped by the hand Trish was holding, and under her babysitter’s intense gaze, Keeley felt incredibly small. It took her a few tries to work up the courage, helped along by keeping her eyes firmly on the dusty ground. “Um – I’m not supposed to do any drugs, or drink while I’m here. I took some edibles from Jose without letting him know that and made a problem. I’m sorry.”
The apology felt terribly over the top, but it earned Keeley an encouraging squeeze on her hand from Trish. This is the most like a kid I’ve felt since my nannies started the game up. I hope Trish doesn’t ground me.
“Can I ask for some clarification on you two’s whole thing?” Maria asked. “I heard from Jose that you said it’s some kind of baby game – and I’m not judging or whatever – I’m just curious.”
“It goes a little bit beyond being a game,” Trish said. “Keeley, please tell Maria what you agreed to.”
I thought I got out of being punished, but I would WAY rather be spanked than have to go through this! Keeley whimpered and fixed a pleading gaze on Trish, but her babysitter was implacable. Having gone deeper than ever before into the baby game – at least as far as surrendering to authority was concerned – Keeley couldn’t conceive of openly defying her babysitter. Trish’s authority felt as absolute as her mom’s had when she was a toddler, but without the emotional recklessness that had driven her to defiant tantrums at that age.
“I agreed – in writing – that Trish is my babysitter and my girlfriend.” Keeley said with a sigh.
“There were three things you wrote down. Please say them all, Keels.”
All of them?! Keeley squirmed, but there was no mercy in Trish. “She – she gets to decide if I’m wearing diapers, and if I get to use the bathroom or not. Also…”
Keeley had to take a deep breath, she could feel her blush even under her sunburn. “Also Trish is allowed to discipline me like I’m a child. To – to teach me to be a better girl.”
“Wow.” John blinked. Jose shrugged at him. Carmen’s expression was the least welcoming of everyone’s, but she wasn’t saying anything.
Maria nodded, chewing on her lower lip. “Sounds intense, but it’s between you two, and that’s pretty clear how you spelled it out. Thanks, that makes stuff make more sense. Nobody here will give Keeley anything, even if she asks for it, right?” There was easy agreement from the rest of the neighbors in response to Maria’s question.
“We’ll tell Pedro and Carmen too.” Maria said. “I don’t know about everybody else, but I’ll keep an eye out for Keeley when I’m around the camp. It looks from her sunburn like she needs some extra help.”
“There should always be a babysitter with her…” Trish grimaced, “But that’s really appreciated, thank you Maria.”
Trish was talking about Keeley with someone else like she wasn’t there – or at least wasn’t in the conversation. It felt different than when Mom did it though, probably because of the concern Trish was showing. She still hadn’t let go of Keeley’s hand either. Far from being annoyed by it, Keeley relished the care her babysitter was taking. While the neighbors and Trish chatted about their first couple days of the festival, Keeley tuned the conversation out, just as she had when she’d been a kid and the adults were talking. She was so spaced out that she didn’t notice Jose leaving the group and returning until he tapped her on the shoulder. He had a leather satchel around his shoulder that looked like it held tools.
“You want to finish up our sculpture?” Jose asked with a grin. It was a relief to see he wasn’t upset over having his shroom time interrupted the day before. One thing Keeley didn’t miss about partying was being yelled at by people who were upset and high.
She tugged on Trish’s hand. “Trish, can I work on my sculpture with Jose?”
In response, Trish gave Keeley’s diaper a squeeze through her skirt, nodded, and pulled out her phone. “I’m setting an alarm for thirty minutes. You’re going to spend a max of thirty minutes in the sun, then I want you in the shade for fifteen, understand?”
“Yes Trish.”
“Good. Go play.” Trish released Keeley’s hand and patted her on the rear.
“You know, I thought your whole thing was super weird.” Jose said as they reached the statue. He bent down to unroll his satchel on the small table. “But it’s wild how much your girlfriend is taking care of you. It’s obvious she cares.”
“Yeah.” Keeley squirmed. “I love her.”
“She loves you too, kiddo – uh, sorry if that’s not okay to call you.”
Keeley giggled and shrugged. “I guess I am a kid, at least here. Okay, we HAVE to finish our sculpture today, or she won’t be able to protect us from the bird people.”
“I’m on it, what’s next?”
“You can do the bird heads, stick them where the wings meet. I’m going to make the face.”
With Trish’s insistence on constant sun breaks, it took all afternoon to finish the statue. Keeley stood back and admired her handiwork, doubly glad that Jose had joined her. Not only would she not have finished as quickly without him, but having a collaborator had brought the project to a whole new level. The statue’s face was fierce and commanding, but motherly as well. Her plastic flashed gorgeously in the sun, smooth in some places, pointy in others.
The most dynamic part of the sculpture was the three headed bird being torn apart in the statue’s hands. Jose had done an amazing job of making the bird faces look distressed, while keeping them cruel enough that it was obvious they deserved their fate.
“Trish! Trish, come look, she’s finished!” Keeley lifted onto her toes with pride when Trish hurried to look. “Behold! Burnidette, defender of our camps! She’s watching over Jose’s camp too, that’s why we turned her to face that direction.”
“Burnidette huh?” Instead of an amused grin or a dismissive laugh, Trish looked genuinely intrigued. She walked all around the statue, wide-eyed. Her jaw even dropped when she examined Burnidette’s face. “Keeley, this is amazing. You too, Jose.”
“It’s mostly my lead artist at work.” Jose smiled as he packed up his tools. “It’s a cool vision and a great execution. I can trip in peace now, no more worrying about bird men.”
If she hadn’t been so dried out – despite drinking water almost continuously – Keeley would have cried. As it was, her eyes felt puffy and itchy. Pride swelled in her, more than she’d ever felt before. She didn’t know what to do with it, didn’t have a place to put it all. Eventually it came out in a leap into Trish’s arms and a shower of kisses all over her babysitter’s face.
“I’ll leave you two to it.” Jose winked, waved, and ambled back to his camp.
Trish spun Keeley around, too enamored with her Little girlfriend to even say goodbye to Jose. “You’re an amazing girl.”
“I love you.” Keeley said. “You don’t have to say it back!”
“I – I’ve never said that to a girlfriend before, I’m not saying I don’t feel that way – it’s just that I don’t really know…”
“It’s okay, really. You do so much for me, I wanted you to know. Thanks, Trish.” Keeley sank into a kiss with Trish that connected their souls as much as their tongues. Their embrace went on and on, like a kiss at the end of a movie, until Trish’s alarm went off and sent them laughing into the shade.
“Trish, I want to be a good baby girl for you for the rest of the festival. We have four days after today, right?”
“You’re usually a good girl, Keeley. I think you learned your lesson this morning.”
“I did but – I mean for you and my nannies. Don’t worry about making me do baby or kid stuff, I’ll do whatever you want. I trust you.” Keeley took Trish’s hands in hers, squeezing them excitedly. “It’s really fun to play here. Also – just for you – the offer to have my body any time is still good.”
“Wow.” Trish’s blush was as cute as ever. All it took was a little slutty talk to get her all flustered. Keeley grinned, hoping her girlfriend stayed that way for a long time.
“Well um – we’re already dressed so uh, want to wander around some more? We haven’t seen a quarter of the festival yet.”
“Yeah!” Keeley bounced on the balls of her feet. “Can we stop by the meditation place on our way back?”
“Sounds good to me.” Trish grinned. “What do you say to running a lemonade stand tomorrow?”
“Oh my gosh! Really?”
~~~~*~~~~
The great thing about running a lemonade stand at Burning Man was the rule against selling things. Keeley didn’t have to worry about collecting money or giving change, all she had to do was pour lemonade and give it to grateful people. Once word got out, Keeley was inundated in “customers”, most of which had a kind word for the oddly cute girl offering them a cool drink. Dressed in a simple child’s dress that kept her diaper from being too obvious, Keeley had a blast playing up the kiddie angle. She’d never had so much wholesome attention before. When the mob of thirsty people discovered Burnidette, the collective attention was almost too much.
Keeley’s statue was adopted as a mascot for her whole street, some people even stayed around to pray or meditate at the statue’s base. The pilgrims – as Dominika called them – were the rare ones. Most people simply enjoyed the statue, with a few offering flattering or interesting artistic criticism. Though the lemonade ran out early during the first day, the art patrons were a renewable source of visitors. At any time, Keeley could explore the wild festival with one of her caregivers, or she could sit in the shade outside the bus and chat with the steady stream of people coming by. If it wasn’t for the climate, Keeley would have wanted to build a house on her Black Rock city camping spot.
The Playa didn’t let anyone forget that they were in a desert. No matter how many wet rags her nannies wiped her down with, Keeley was beginning to feel like she was growing a crab shell. Even a shower could only hydrate her so much. She was drinking constantly and yet hardly using her diapers. All the liquid seemed to come right out of her pores, to crust up in little salt drifts among the omnipresent dust. It could have been far too much for Keeley to handle, but for the gently weird sense of community that pervaded the place. Her friends at the meditation center were temporary, but more than real enough in the moment. The neighbors had nearly become family, with Maria coming in regularly to check on Keeley like a backup caregiver.
When the final night fell on the playa, the competing pulls of the terrible environment and the beautiful community were balanced in Keeley’s heart. She was enchanted with the festival – but ready for it to end. Down the road a ways was a constructed set of bleachers that promised an excellent view of the final burn. Normally, Keeley avoided looking at the central sculpture, but she was eager to watch it burn.
Preparations for the final night were intense, with Dominika and Vidette putting on their most elaborate costumes yet. Rainbow sparkle fabric wrapped Vidette from head to toe, too sheer to conceal anything. Dominika was awesome in a dress constructed entirely of tiny golden mirrors. Her babysitter had stepped up the costume game as well, abandoning her apocalypse costume for a body paint job. In the quiet of the bus’s bedroom, Keeley knelt in front of a freshly-showered Trish to finger-paint her girlfriend from head to toe.
It was such an intimate gesture, not just to touch every part of Trish, but to have her babysitter’s final look entirely in Keeley’s hands. She stuck to primary colors and childish finger painting motifs, glowing with pleasure when her handprints and swirly teddy-bear drawings on Trish’s legs met with the girl’s approval.
“This is amazing, is this so we match?” Trish twisted around in front of the mirror, giggling when she spotted the birthday-cake painting on her butt.
“I thought I’d go totally baby tonight – nothing covering my diaper, whatever you want on top – even nothing.”
“You don’t have to do that just because I’d think it was hot.”
“But I want to – and not just because you think it’s hot.” Keeley carefully painted clouds and rainbows on Trish’s belly, licking her lips as her girlfriend’s muscles tensed in anticipation. There was a single spot just in front of Keeley that was bare – Trish was planning on covering her kitty with a pastie. Which means there’s no art to muss there…
“As fun and sexy as it would be – you in just a diaper is a little plain.” Trish ran her hands through Keeley’s hair, making the Little girl shiver. “You’ll feel left out, I bet.”
“Then pick out a cute top for me. Oh, and I can wear the booties.”
“The little pink cotton ones? You can’t walk on the playa in those hon, not even at night. They’ll be shredded by the dirt and sand.”
“There’s – there’s a stroller. I know there is, I found it when I was looking for more plastic to fix Burnidette’s arm.”
“Are you really okay with that?”
“I want to try spacing out as a baby. But you should let nanny Vi push the stroller. I’m pretty sure she’s the one that bought it.”
“That’s fine with me. I think all three of us are going to want to take care of you tonight, it’s our last big – oh! – day.” Trish’s face flushed beautifully as Keeley took her time drawing flowers on her babysitter’s breasts, dragging her fingers across Trish’s soft skin with more pressure than the paint required.
“Damn Keeley.” Trish’s fingers closed involuntarily around a clump of the Little girl’s hair. “It’s not fair for you to get me worked up when I’m painted like this. We don’t have time for a repaint.”
“There’s one part of you that’s not painted.” Keeley leaned away from Trish’s hand, her eyelids fluttering at the self-inflicted tug on her hair. “I’ll paint it with my tongue – but only if you make me.”
“What?” Trish’s flush spread down her neck and all the way up her ears, she let out a needy moan as Keeley rubbed extra pink paint onto her babysitter’s nipples.
“You wanted a kinky girlfriend – right? Why else did you pick a diaper girl?” Keeley was almost as naked as Trish, with nothing on but a diaper – and those didn’t feel much like clothes anymore, more like a necessity. She arched her back, pleased to see Trish’s gaze bob down to her chest – then back up – before going right down to her breasts again.
“I love how sexy and kinky you are.” Trish’s voice was a reverent whisper. “Only, I don’t always know what to do or say.”
“We’re alone. I love you. I love how much you think I’m sexy.” Keeley rubbed the bright flower colors off her hands and globbed on some white. Sensual inch by inch, feathers spread over Trish’s shoulders and down her upper arms. “Say whatever you want. Let out all your horny, perverted thoughts.”
“I want to grind your mouth into my pussy.” Trish whispered. Keeley looked up to catch Trish’s gaze and licked her lips. Emboldened, Trish managed to add, “But I want you to be really turned on – so hot that you’re having trouble doing a good job on me.”
“How’re you going to make that happen?” Keeley braided silver and gold down Trish’s forearms, putting a sun and moon on the backs of her hands.
“You have to wet yourself. A lot. I’ll put a vibrator in your diaper.” Trish’s breath caught in her throat, she hesitantly continued with, “and you’ll have to grind your crotch against my foot.”
“You’re in charge.” Keeley circled around to Trish’s back, painting a tree with a smiling face up her girlfriend’s back in broad strokes. “I have to do anything you say – and everything you say.”
“Are – are you done?” Trish was quivering all over. It was marvelous, Keeley had never felt so powerful while giving up control to her partner before. Rolling her knuckles across Trish’s back painted sprays of leaves around the tree’s branches.
“I just finished with your back – and wetting my diaper.”
With growing boldness, Trish ordered Keeley onto her knees. Already panting, Trish ran the buzzing bullet vibrator over Keeley’s breasts, before dropping it down the front of the Little girl’s diaper. Direct stimulation took Keeley from fantasies of arousal to wanton moaning in moments. The warm up on her breasts had spread lovely tingles over her skin – the vibrator made a lake of lust in her crotch and belly that sloshed up through her nerves whenever she moved. Trish grabbed Keeley’s hair – the baby girl had a single moment to cry out, “Pull harder”, before Trish yanked and drove Keeley’s mouth into her crotch.
With Trish’s taste and smell consuming her world, Keeley tried her best to find Trish’s button and lick. Pressure between her legs felt amazing, Keeley was already grinding away before she realized it was Trish’s foot pressed against her crotch. The maddening sensations of inconsistent pressure and constant vibration made concentration impossible. Time and time again, she’d realize she was supposed to be licking her girlfriend, only to fall into moans again. It was the realization that Trish didn’t care what she did with her tongue, that her babysitter was brazenly grinding her kitty on Keeley’s face like she was a sex toy, that sent the Little girl over the edge. Her sudden cries and trembling face pushed Trish over as well, the babysitter’s shout was like a thunderclap against the metal walls.
After her aggressive orgasm, Trish wasn’t in a cuddling mood. Instead, she had Keeley on her back, wiping the diapered girl down like an infant. Either Trish didn’t respond to anything Keeley said, or the Little girl only imagined incoherently mumbling at her babysitter. Whichever it was, Keeley gave up on communication and floated on a happy baby-daze that sent her sailing into Littlespace. Trish put a massive diaper with several booster pads on Keeley, dumping baby powder into the padding until the smell would carry above the acrid smell of the playa and the human smell of unwashed burners.
A shirt that was mostly ruffles went over Keeley’s top without the benefit of a bra. Trish put her baby-girl’s hair in high pigtails and festooned it with ribbons. There’d been a pacifier in Keeley’s mouth since her diaper change – when Trish tried to remove it she whined and shook her head. It was only when Trish presented a baby bottle full of water that Keeley let her babysitter take her paci out temporarily.
They were quite the sight – Keeley later imagined – three sexy ladies in bright costumes walking down the street with a baby girl in a huge pink stroller. At the time, Keeley’s awareness was limited to kicking her feet and cooing at the neon lights that lined the street. When they reached the bleachers, they found a thoughtfully-constructed section for wheelchairs that hadn’t had any takers. The stroller fit perfectly in a wheelchair spot, putting Keeley face to face with the triple-headed bird man. Already there were fires at its base – plus, she had Burnidette watching over her. Keeley stared down the scary wooden sculpture without fear.
The catharsis of watching that sculpture go up in a towering pillar of flame was incredible – especially because it was collective. Keeley’s roar of delight was part of a unified human cry seventy thousand strong. As parties went, the final revel was a riot of music, dancing, and a swelling sound of joy. There was always a caregiver nearby – Trish with her vulnerable devotion, Vidette with her exuberant mothering, and Dominika with her fierce protection. Though Keeley’s booties didn’t survive the dancing, she had a stroller to head back to camp in.
As her final act as a Burner – while wobbling spread-legged around her massive wet diaper – Keeley hacked Burnidette apart with a rebar mooring stake. The pieces went into the bus’s cargo compartment, but the arrangement of them – the part that had made them a statue – was forever in Keeley’s heart. Not just hers, either, it lived in her nannies, her babysitter, her neighbors, and dozens upon dozens of visitors. The triple headed bird, the meditation garden, and the spiral dancers were all in Keeley as well, along with hundreds of other costumes and sculptures she’d seen.
In the final emotional high of the festival, the notion of Burning Man art being temporary was ridiculous. The things they’d made would be carried forever – to all the corners of the earth. That includes the baby game, Keeley realized, as Vidette cleaned her up and put her to bed. She wouldn’t be a baby all the time – her life didn’t allow for that kind of existence. But for the right people, in the right circumstances – she had another self she could be. A baby Keeley who didn’t have an emotionally distant mother or an absent father. Instead, she had a sexy babysitter-girlfriend and two adoring nannies.
Much later – back in New Hampshire – her nannies and Trish would complain to Keeley about inching their way through the hours long line out of the festival. For Keeley, the wait had been even longer. She hadn’t mentally left the festival until she was in her airplane seat in the Reno Airport, dressed like an adult and surrounded by the world’s mundanities again.
Nothing was left of the baby game – except the pullup Keeley slipped on in the airport bathroom. None of her caregivers discovered her padded panties. If they had, she would have told them they were for luck. And it’d be the truth.