The enormity of impending change on Sarita’s life left her listless on the floor until her phone rang. It was Astra, of course, with her unstoppable torrent of energy and plans. Sarita’s Angel bombarded her with excited ideas until Sarita couldn’t remember one of them.
Not that it mattered if Sarita knew what the plans were. They were Astra’s plans, and Astra was the one executing them. Sarita pushed her natural stubbornness away when it rose in irritation at Astra. Despite her trapped feelings, Sarita was flooded with relief at Astra’s second rescue. Leaning into that feeling had Sarita calm by the time her Angel arrived.
“Princess!” Astra threw her arms wide and grabbed Sarita as soon as the apartment door was open. Angel was downright giddy and beaming. After the energetic, exuberant kiss Astra planted on her, Sarita couldn’t help but smile.
She looked her blonde-bombshell Angel over and focused on the obvious positives of her situation. I’m going to be in that gorgeous woman’s bed every night. She’s so happy to see me!
“You seem kind of excited, Angel.” Sarita giggled.
“Excited isn’t even the word.” Astra booted a bag into the apartment, shut the door with her hip, and backed Sarita up against the couch, kissing her all the way. “Maybe you should call me Mommy now, since it doesn’t bother you anymore.”
“Uh – I could.” Sarita squirmed. “But I think of you as Angel, as my Angel. It’s like – your special name.”
“Aww.” Astra smiled and stroked Sarita’s hair. “That is super sweet. I like that you have a special name for me. Could you call me Mommy just once though? Just so I can hear it?”
“S-sure, Mommy.”
Some tightness around Astra’s eyes smoothed out. Sarita hadn’t noticed it until her Angel relaxed. Is she really that insecure? No – that can’t be it. She got her feelings hurt at the Fairy, and she only needed me to say one word.
“Oh Princess, thank you. Now, I know we really should be packing your things, but I want to celebrate. What do you say to starting our new life tonight?”
“Whatever you want, Mommy.” Sarita smiled and shrugged. If Astra wanted to be in charge so much, it’d be a big load off Sarita to let her.
“That’s my good baby.” Astra kissed Sarita one more time. “I have everything in my bag to get you transformed. It’s fate, you know? We’re perfect for each other. Even our favorite colors are the same.”
Sarita looked over the olive colored dress her Angel was wearing. It was a great color – on Astra. “We have the same favorite colors?”
“Of course! You’re always wearing sage-y colors, like the green shirt you have on now.”
Sarita looked down at her shirt. Oh god. She thinks my shirt is green. This is a blue-shifted teal. It’s not in a sage palette, it’s like – Caribbean colors.
Astra was already setting a dress out on the coffee table – Sarita didn’t see the point of arguing over colors. She imagined Astra loved going shopping, which would mean Sarita could pick colors as they bought things. Color matching is something I can do in our relationship!
The dress Astra had out was far more restrained than Sarita had expected. It was cerulean blue, with a built-in white blouse that had transparent short sleeves. A kid’s dress for certain, but not out of the realm of what an adult might wear. The white tights that were to go with it pushed the look over the edge into Little, as did the hair bows that Astra was lining up next to the dress.
It was a far cry from the onesie and bonnet Sarita had been dreading. I’ve been spending too much time with Pauline and Nohemi. I’m always thinking the worst of Astra, but she’s trying so hard!
“Can I do everything for you? Undress and dress you?” Astra bounced on her tiptoes in front of the outfit she’d laid out. There was a big flower-print diaper with the outfit as well, of course, but the dress’ skirt had enough natural poof to conceal it.
“I like it when you take me over.” Sarita realized how true that statement was after she said it. The balance between consent and boundary-pushing had always been a little off, but that didn’t mean Astra wasn’t fun. All they needed was to dial that balance in – and being mommied by her Angel would be heaven.
Astra directed Sarita as much by touching or posing her as she did with verbal commands. Not being trusted to understand “put your arms up”, without an accompanying touch on her arms, made for a quick plunge into Littlespace.
The thing about being Little with Astra, Sarita thought as her Angel stripped her, is that it’s a bit like drowning. The waters of her Little mindset came up to Sarita’s face fast, faster than with any other caregiver. They were warm waters though, comforting and supporting. If Sarita could manage the nervous bit where the water closed over her face, the rest was peaceful and dreamy.
Under Astra’s gentle touch, seeing her face still glowing with excitement, Sarita took the plunge without fear. When she was naked on the floor and Astra told her to be a starfish, the infantile command brought giggles, not embarrassment. Having Astra brush out Sarita’s hair was a luxury that absolutely justified the childish hair bows.
After pulling the tights up over her Little girl’s diaper, Astra posed Sarita in front of her mirror. Astra hadn’t been exaggerating to call the outfit a transformation. Sarita felt exuberantly cute in the dress and tights, and wished she’d put on makeup to complete the effect. Seeing herself so adorable and innocent put a happy glow in her chest. The beautiful lady in the mirror behind Sarita – with her very-truthful hips – didn’t hurt her mood either.
“Wow. Angel – am I cute?”
“You’re good enough to eat!”
Sarita giggled. “But you just put a diaper on me.”
“Dirty girl.” Astra smirked and lightly swatted Sarita’s butt. “I’m glad you like the outfit. This is the kind of thing I want to take you out in.”
“Out like – where?”
“Restaurants mostly. Also the park, a play, the store, wherever we go for fun. It’s not too obvious, and the long dress really hides your diaper. Skirts will be good for taking you out, so I can easily change you in a family restroom.”
“Diapers all the time? Even when we’re in a store?” Sarita shivered. Astra wasn’t asking, but they were at least talking about things ahead of time. Surrendering so much to her buxom, blonde Angel was hot, which helped to keep Sarita’s anxiety down.
“You said you wanted to be my baby princess full time. That’s what that means.”
“I do but – Angel – I’ve never done something like this before.”
“I will take care of you.” Astra knelt next to Sarita and took the diapered girl’s face in her hands. “Please trust me, Princess. I love you so much. I’ll take care of everything if you let me.”
“I’m trying, and I like it. It’s scary too.”
“It’s okay for baby girls to be scared. That’s what their mommies are for.” Astra sat back on the floor and pulled Sarita into her lap. “Tell Mommy what scares you.”
“People finding out about my diapers.”
“I won’t let that happen. The whole time we’re out somewhere, I’ll watch you and make sure your diaper doesn’t show. What else?”
“What if – what if you don’t like me as a baby anymore?”
“Never. You don’t understand – you’ll see after you live with me for a while. What we have is something I’ve wanted for years. This is my dream, Princess. You’re my dream.”
The sweetness of her Angel’s words drove Sarita to tuck her head into the curve of Astra’s neck. “I don’t know if I can always be a good girl. I might get – frustrated sometimes.”
“That’s what’s so beautiful about you being my Little girl. I’ll correct your behavior when you’re bad. We don’t have to have fights like other couples, or build up resentments. Naughty Little girls get punished and we move on.”
What if she does something bad? Who fixes that? Sarita considered that while she snuggled with her Angel. There wasn’t a great answer, but Sarita kept running up against the reality that she didn’t have many choices. Not if she wanted to stay with her kitty.
“Nero has to come with me, okay?”
“Honey, of course! I wouldn’t make you give up your cat. Though – do you think he’ll get to like me better?”
“He should. It’s just that he doesn’t know you well.” I hope he starts liking her – he’s usually friendlier to people by now.
“Then we have plenty of time to get to know each other. Any other worries for my Princess that I can help with?”
The big thing is what she’s planning for the Green Fairy… “Not really. Just remember what I said before, please. This is way more than anything I’ve done.”
“I’ve got you. Tell me when you get scared, and I’ll fix it. I promise.” Astra kissed Sarita on the top of her head. “Getting your stuff to my apartment will be easy. It’s a small place, it’ll fit in a little U-Haul. We can put your furniture in my storage unit until we can get it donated.”
“Can I keep one thing?”
“Sure honey, what do you want to keep?”
“I don’t know – I just want one thing that’s from me in your – in our apartment.”
“It can be more than one. We’ll talk about it when we get everything moved.” Astra patted Sarita on the head.
“Though while we’re talking about things to get rid of, we can throw your panties away! You won’t need those anymore.” Astra’s lighthearted chuckle at that came with a weirdly satisfied smile.
That sounds so final. What if I need to do something where I can’t wear diapers? “You wouldn’t want to see me in them sometimes, at least to take them off?”
“You’re sexy in diapers, Princess.” Astra patted Sarita’s butt and guided the Little girl off her lap. “Speaking of packing, do you think you can get things packed up on your own if I drop off some boxes and tape for you? I don’t know what your work schedule looks like.”
Here we go. She’s going to find out sooner or later. “That’s not going to be a problem. I uh – I got – Britt didn’t schedule me for the whole week. She’s probably not going to schedule me any more – ever.”
“Oh sweetie, that’s awful of her!” Astra took Sarita’s hands and squeezed them. “I’m sorry that happened, but it’s perfect timing for us. I know you hated that job, and you don’t have to worry about working with my salary and bonuses.”
“I can get another job soon, I’ve always worked.” It’d be nice to not have to work, but scary to not have my own money.
“Babies don’t work. You don’t want to get another job you hate, do you? I meant everything when I said I’d take care of you, diapers to dollars.”
“O-okay.” She’s not listening. I’ll try again later. It’s not like she’d lock me in her apartment.
Astra wiped tears away from her eyes. “You’re my dream come true. I still can’t believe it. Let’s go somewhere delicious and celebrate.”
I haven’t been to a nice restaurant in ages, Sarita thought, wistfully. Though I bet she won’t let me order a cocktail. Maybe I can get a mocktail.
“Okay Angel. Can I order a virgin Shirley Temple?”
“So precious!” Astra put her hand to her mouth in delight. “Of course you can. Nothing’s too good for my princess. We’re going to get appetizers, delicious food, dessert, and all the Shirley Temples you can drink.”
“Yay!” Despite how vague their conversation had been, Sarita felt like she’d managed to discuss a few things at least. With most of her fears addressed – or at least brought up for later – Sarita was free to feel the euphoria of being rescued from a total disaster. Grinning at her Angel, Sarita spun around until her skirt flared out.
“I love seeing you happy, Princess. Though I might regret my promise about all the drinks. Good thing I’ve got a diaper bag that holds plenty of diapers for a night out.” Winking, Astra took Sarita’s hand and lead her out the door.
It was weird to leave the house without a purse or wallet. The strangeness compounded when Astra took Sarita’s keys and put them in her own purse. Being diapered in public – with Astra leading her by the hand – finished the job that Astra had started when she’d diapered Sarita.
The Little girl’s world narrowed to nothing but her Angel and their immediate surroundings. Bills, jobs, apartments, even bathroom breaks were none of Sarita’s concern. Her biggest worries were deciding which desserts would be the tastiest, and if she could convince Astra to order her more than one of them.
In fact, Sarita was so Little she forgot to pay attention to the name of the restaurant. The décor marked it as one of Ardenthill’s interchangeable Italian bistros. Sarita therefore had an agonizing choice over lasagna or spaghetti. Angel suggested splitting the difference with the children’s baked spaghetti, which was perfect.
The restaurant was too fancy to have mozzarella sticks on the menu, but the bruschetta was so tasty that Sarita couldn’t complain about it – even at her most Little. True to her word, Astra told their waitress to bring Sarita an endless supply of Shirley Temples. Halfway through her baked spaghetti – when Astra was teasing Sarita about needing a bib – Sarita used her diaper without remembering where she was.
Something in her blush or expression must have alerted Astra, because Sarita’s Angel whispered a question about having an accident a mere minute later. Sarita nodded as subtly as she could. Astra’s discretion so far had not prepared Sarita for her Angel’s next move, which was flagging down their waitress.
Astra seemed not to notice Sarita’s eyes widening in panic as she caught the server’s attention. “Excuse me, does the restaurant have a disability or family restroom?”
“Of course. It’s down the hall past the bar, take the first right. It’s not next to the regular restrooms, so it should be nice and clean. Please let any staff member know if you need help.”
“That’s so kind of you, but we don’t need any tonight.” Astra stood and held her hand out to Sarita. The waitress was already fast-walking to her next table. Nobody was looking at them. Hesitantly, Sarita rose and took her Angel’s hand.
Though most restaurants in Ardenthill had a family restroom – even fast-food places – Sarita had never been in such a nice one. There was plenty of space, everything was spotless, and the fixtures were fancy. It had a changing table too, which seemed suspiciously sturdy considering what Sarita now knew about all the ABDL people in town.
“Hop up Princess.” Astra swung the changing table down from the wall and patted the plastic top.
Sarita climbed onto the changing table with some trepidation, until she realized it wasn’t giving under her weight in the slightest. As she settled back on the changing table she judged it would be able to handle a large man if necessary. That was even more suspicious, but a mystery for another time.
“This is our first diaper change out in public, and my first as your Mommy.” Astra smiled and peeled Sarita’s tights off. “We’re going to have lots of firsts together.”
“Mommy what if – if I have to go number two?”
“I don’t expect you to do that in your diapers right away, don’t worry. ” Astra popped the tapes on Sarita’s diaper and slid it out from under her butt. “But don’t worry, Mommy will still take care of you. Let me know when you have to go and I’ll escort you to the bathroom.”
Not right away – but eventually she’ll expect it? Well, if it’s not right away we don’t have to talk about it now. Sarita held her feet at Astra’s direction as her Angel wiped her down and put her in a fresh diaper. Between the diaper change and standing obediently by Astra as she wiped down the changing table, Sarita was back to the depths of her Little mind.
The rest of the dinner was a blur in her memory, other than there had been a delicious lemon chocolate cake. Afterwards, they went to Astra’s apartment – soon to be known as home. Sarita’s Angel wasted no time getting her out of her marinara-speckled dress and into a one piece pajama.
Angel had an early morning coming up and Sarita was wiped out from the chaos Britt had made of her day and her life. Before the summer sun had set, Sarita was tucked into Astra’s big spoon. The world faded away.
~~~~*~~~~
Sarita woke with a start in darkness. The blackout curtains over Astra’s bedroom window plunged the room into much deeper dark than Sarita was used to sleeping in. Her heart was racing – she was whimpering. Something had been chasing her, and her teeth had been falling out.
Though she was awake enough to identify the terrifying images as a dream, she was too sleepy to shake the feeling of being chased. With the room so dark, a monster could be right in front of Sarita and she wouldn’t see it.
Nothing’s chasing me, it’s just a dream. Before Sarita could believe herself, the creature grabbed her from behind. She shrieked and sat bolt upright, sliding across the bed. Her hand scrabbled across the bedside table, sending her phone clattering to the hardwood floor.
“Wha?” Astra sat up and groped sleepily for Sarita. It was the same hand. Sarita gave a massive sigh of relief, though her heart was still pounding almost out of her chest.
“Sorry – bad dream.” Sarita panted.
“It’s okay Princess.” Astra yawned, and pulled Sarita properly onto the bed. “Mommy’s here.”
“I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“You’re not in trouble. Goodness, Princess, your heart is racing. You were terrified, weren’t you?”
“Something was chasing me – and I thought it grabbed me.”
“Your Angel will fix it. Wait here, Princess.”
Astra kissed Sarita’s cheek and climbed out of bed. A soft light glowed to life on a wall by the floor. That would have been nice to have when I woke up. Is that stupid? Do I need a nightlight? I bet Astra would let me have one for tonight at least.
Astra returned with a small, clear plastic cup in her hand. It was half full of a medicinally-red liquid. “Here you go, Princess. Drink this down.”
“What is it?” Sarita took the cup hesitantly.
“It’ll help you sleep. Be a good girl and drink it all.”
After another long, uncertain moment, Sarita downed the cup’s contents. The specific flavor of cloying cherry taste took a moment to identify. It’s Benadryl. Brand name even.
“Uh, Mommy, is there a way to keep that light on when we’re in bed?”
“Do you need a night-light, baby girl?”
“It’s just that my bedroom has a streetlight right outside the window – so when I woke up it was really dark and…”
“I think it’s precious that you want a nightlight, you don’t have to be embarrassed around your mommy. Of course we can have it on.” Astra patted Sarita’s cheek and went back to the wall to flick a switch. “There you go, Princess. We’ll pick you out a pretty nightlight at the store tomorrow. And a bigger one too for when we get your crib set up.”
“Uh – thanks.” Sarita sighed and snuggled back into Astra’s arms. She vaguely remembered something about a crib in the spare room from the first time Astra had brought up keeping Sarita as a full time Little – but that was a joke, or for a special scene, surely.
“This is a big transition for you, but I know you’ll love it when you get used to it.” Astra stroked Sarita’s belly through her pajamas. “All you have to do is let go and let Mommy handle everything. If you’re scared, I’ll fix it. Same if you’re hungry, tired, hurt, or wet. You’re my Princess forever.”
Forever? We didn’t talk about forever. Sarita yawned. The medicine was working fast on top of interrupted sleep. There was no time to process Astra’s words before Sarita fell asleep.
~~~~*~~~~
When morning came, Sarita was wet and Astra was delighted. It’d been a small accident only, and to be blamed on the medicine Astra had given her. Or so Sarita tried to assure herself, while she filled her diaper with the rest of her morning pee. The mere hint that Sarita might become a bedwetter had Astra over the moon during Sarita’s morning diaper change.
It was far too early to argue with Astra about anything, especially with the lingering effects of the sleep meds making Sarita sluggish. It must have been the maximum strength nighttime version or a double dose.
The morning’s diaper change, breakfast, and dressing Sarita in her Little outfit were all accomplished with Sarita in a sleepy daze. Being walked up to her apartment by Astra as a stop on Astra’s way to work felt a bit like being sent to daycare.
“You go ahead and nap. I’ll be by at lunchtime with packing supplies and to change your diaper. You’ve got a booster in there, so you shouldn’t need a change until then. Call me if you need anything, Princess.” Astra kissed Sarita on the forehead. “If I don’t answer it’s because I’m in a meeting or on the phone. I’ll call right back.”
“Okay. Uh, have a good day at work, Angel.”
“I will darling, as much as I can. I’m going to miss you every minute.” Astra kissed Sarita again, on the cheek, and was out the door.
Sarita watched the closed door for a while, touching her cheek. Slowly, it dawned on her that Astra’s kisses had gotten more motherly and less passionate as the previous night had gone on. Am I even her girlfriend anymore? Is a baby all I am now?
Sitting on the couch, Sarita could feel the thick padding under her butt despite the deep squish of the couch cushions. She looked around her apartment, and found herself taking a mental inventory. It was a sad thought, part of saying goodbye to the cranky old apartment she’d come to love.
It’s cheap and nothing works – but its mine. Or it was, anyway. Will Astra even let me get a job? Is she planning to give me an allowance or something instead? How would that work if we broke up?
Feeling suddenly sick to her stomach, Sarita flopped down on the couch. A nap sounded safer than questions that had no good answers. For the moment at least, she put herself in her Angel’s hands and pretended her problems didn’t exist.