The area outside the giant playpen seemed dim and fuzzy. Sounds from past the netting wall were garbled and indistinct. A dive into Little space had served in lieu of alcohol, offering Sarita an escape from the aftermath of her public spanking. The extra thick padding of her diaper was a boon as well, though it couldn’t completely muffle the soreness of Sarita’s bright red butt.
Every shift of Sarita’s weight reminded her of Astra’s blistering slaps across her rear. Any way she sat, the stinging impressed on Sarita that she was a bad baby. Humiliating as that label was, it was better than the alternative. Focusing on being a naughty Little kept Sarita from reliving the moment she’d howled in shameless ecstasy, her sex dripping for the entertainment of strangers.
There was quite a bit of real-estate inside the playpen, which was further extended by Sarita limiting her movement to crawling. There was no rule she was aware of against walking in the playpen, but everyone else was crawling. Bad baby though she was, the last thing Sarita wanted to do at the moment was stand out.
The first playmates she found were a pair of diaper girls in matching teddy-bear pajamas. Rather than mere teddy-bear print, the pajamas were fuzzy with adorable bear ears on the hoods. The two girls were welcoming enough, but Sarita could recognize a couple when she saw one, even in Little space. After a brief greeting, Sarita left Zoe to snuggle with her French girlfriend.
A new arrival climbed over the netting in Sarita’s path. She sat back on her diaper to say hello and let her mouth hang open when she recognized the girl in the blue onesie. Pauline’s diaper was plain in comparison to the other Littles’ padding, Sarita included. She didn’t have much in the way of a Little outfit besides her onesie and diaper, though she did have her hair in pigtails.
Pauline looked similarly shocked to see Sarita, drawing back a bit. Oh no you don’t! Sarita pounced her friend, nuzzling Pauline’s cheek after pinning her to the padding.
“Um – hi Sarita. Are you here with Astra?” Pauline put her hands nervously on Sarita’s sides.
Sarita shrugged and kissed Pauline. “Maybe. Doesn’t matter. I’m a bad baby. I do what I want.”
Pauline barked out a forced laugh, shaking her head at the Little girl above her. “You’re nuts, like always. Astra’s definitely here, and you’re obviously with her.”
“She’s doing stupid big stuff.” Sarita whined. “Play with me? I like you. We’re still friends, right? I’m sorry I cancelled our date.”
With a big sigh, Pauline raised her head to bonk against Sarita’s. “I’m sorry I avoided you after you did. I thought – you were breaking up with me.”
“I was broke.” Sarita bit her lip. “I’m sorry, I was embarrassed.”
“Oh. You should have said something, dummy. We could have made a struggle-meal.”
“I told you!” Sarita rolled her eyes impatiently, “I was embarrassed.”
“How come you aren’t embarrassed now?”
“Duh. Bad baby.” Sarita cackled.
“Dumbass.” Pauline grinned and grabbed Sarita’s crotch, giving the padding a firm squeeze. “You don’t seem like such a bad baby to me, in a dry diaper.”
“That’s cause I was waiting to pee on you.” Sarita grinned devilishly and planted her diapered crotch firmly on Pauline’s hips.
“H-here? In front of everyone?” Pauline’s lip was trembling, but her face was flushed and her pupils were blown out far more than the dim club lighting could explain.
“Uh huh. That’s what babies do here.” Public stuff is normal here. Everybody does it. Sarita had only to squeeze a bit before her diaper flooded. There was a lot to let loose, she kept going and going. Pauline’s uncomfortable blush became surprise, which itself gave way to horny awe as Sarita’s accident went on and on.
“How much did you drink tonight?” Pauline pressed her hips into Sarita’s sagging padding.
“I had a juice box and a bottle, and more stuff before we came here.” Sarita giggled and poked at her padding.
“That’s a lot.” Pauline licked her lips. “So um, what do we…”
“You potty now!” Sarita pinned Pauline’s arms anew and kissed the other girl, sliding her tongue possessively into Pauline’s mouth.
A long moan preceded Pauline reluctantly squirming out from under Sarita. “Go easy with the kisses and – everything. People are already looking. We’re putting on a show.”
“There’s nothing wrong with putting on a show.” Sarita felt fragile as the words left her, she crawled aggressively toward Pauline to prove her point. The other girl backed up to the netting. Pauline was determined to be an annoying fraidy-cat about the whole thing.
“Sarita, slow down. You’re acting wild. Are you sure you’re okay? Did you drink a spiked juice-box?”
“There are spiked ones?!” Sarita gleefully straddled Pauline’s thighs. “I know what we should do. You should eat me. Pull off my diaper and lick my kitty – without cleaning me up.”
Pauline turned a cartoonish shade of red, panting like she was going to hyperventilate. The moan she made when Sarita licked her neck was obscene, a truly guttural moan of desire. “Stop. Sarita, please, stop, please.”
The tear trickling down Pauline’s cheek shocked Sarita out of her aggression and right off her friend’s lap. Horrified, she whimpered, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”
“It’s okay. Really. Thank you for stopping.” Pauline still looked shell shocked, her legs were trembling.
“I just wanted to play. I need somebody to play with me or – or – I’ll be big again. But you don’t like baby games. You like sexy games and potty games.”
“That’s – not wrong. Fuck, Sarita, that was the most erotic thing anyone ever said to me. I think I came a little when you licked my neck.”
“So we can play?”
“Not like that – not here.” Pauline tumbled forward and knocked Sarita on her back, snugging up to the Little girl’s side. “I can do baby games. It’s not my first pick, but they’d be fun with you.”
“You have to potty first,” Sarita demanded in a fussy tone.
“Okay, okay!” Pauline laughed and wrapped her legs around Sarita’s thigh. A few moments later, Sarita was treated to the warm sensation of Pauline’s diaper expanding against her leg.
“You really liked the thing I said?” Sarita nuzzled her nose against Pauline’s neck.
“I’m still in heat from it,” Pauline complained.
“Do you still want to play – or go on dates – or whatever?”
“Yes, but I get scared. Astra’s so great – I can’t compete with her.”
“You never spanked me in front of everybody.”
“Huh?”
“I like you for stuff that’s you. That nobody else has.”
Pauline shuddered and wiped her eyes. “Let’s go on some cheap dates then.”
“Yay! Play now?” The question came out a bit more frantic than Sarita had intended. She could feel her Littleness slipping away from her. She had nothing but uncomfortable, complicated feelings to replace it.
“Yes, you brat.” Pauline giggled.
“I told you I was a bad baby.” Sarita disentangled herself from Pauline and grabbed some toys she’d seen Littles playing with earlier. “Here, they have Velcro bean-bags and mittens.”
It was a bit of a struggle to get both pairs of stiff mittens on, the girls ended up using their teeth to cinch the wrist straps on the last one. From the first attempt at a throw, the toys were hilariously clumsy. Sarita’s attempt left the spiky beanbag stuck to her mitten. Pauline managed to fling her bag, but it flew off to the side. Giggling, the girls tried again.
After half a dozen throws, they could consistently get a beanbag flying in the direction of the other girl, more or less. Catching them was easy if the mitten actually touched the bag, but they flew in such a random, lopsided way that Sarita and Pauline ended their wild dives empty handed most of the time.
Sarita giggled until her tummy hurt. Pauline had tears streaming down her cheeks from how hard she was laughing. Then she’d snort, and both of them would collapse on the padding, laid low by their laughter. Being deftly tickled during one of her collapses made Sarita shriek. She rolled away from the hand and bounced happily when she saw who it had been.
“Angel! Did you see me playing?”
“I did. You look like you’re having a great time.” Astra stepped into the playpen and sat atop the netted wall. “Who’s your Little friend – oh, Pauline.”
“H-hi Astra.” Pauline looked caught out, staring nervously at Astra. That was dumb. Everybody should play together, and keep the happy feelings going forever. Sarita grabbed Pauline’s wrist and crawl-dragged her friend toward Astra.
“Angel, I pottied a lot. Pauline’s wet too. Can you change us both?” Sarita cast a brief look at Pauline, who was still nervous. Before she could absorb her friend’s nervousness, Sarita plowed ahead. “After you change us we could make out for you. That’s a thing you like, right?”
Pauline made a sort of strangled noise. Sarita didn’t dare look. If her friend was upset, she was going to start crying. It didn’t make sense, but the Little vibes had started running out fast when Astra had arrived.
“I’m not sure your friend is ready for that, is that something you’d want, Pauline?”
“N-not tonight.” Pauline shrank away from Sarita, twisting her wrist out of Sarita’s hand.
“And that’s just fine, isn’t it Princess?” Astra’s tone was firm, sending quakes of fear through Sarita’s belly.
“Yes Angel.” Sarita huddled down submissively in front of Astra.
“You’re very pretty in baby clothes, Pauline. I never see you in them, just diapers usually. Are you trying a new look?”
“Well, there was a discount for coming in a onesie tonight and – I do baby stuff sometimes.”
“I’m surprised we’ve never played together, as long as we’ve both been in the scene.” Astra stroked Pauline’s cheek gently. Pauline shuddered – Sarita couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad reaction.
“Angel, my diaper is leaking.” Sarita pawed at Astra’s leg with the fuzzy mittens.
“I think that’s my cue to take care of my baby girl. I hope I see you in more baby outfits Pauline. They look good on you.” Astra smiled as Pauline blushed and nodded, then tapped Sarita on the shoulder. “Say goodbye to your Little friend.”
“We’re leaving?!” Sarita’s question came out incredulously, but she was surprised at how good the idea sounded.
“Not yet, but I’m all done schmoozing. I want some time with my Princess. That’s what we came here for, right?”
“Can we dance together?” Sarita pleaded.
“Anything for my Princess. Anything at all.” Astra helped Sarita to her feet and out of her mittens. “Wave to Pauline.”
Sarita waved, feeling her worries return at Pauline’s sad expression. The worries didn’t vanish when Pauline was out of sight either, they multiplied. Visions of being changed on a table in front of a roaring crowd hammered Sarita’s head. “And now for the main event!” Sarita imagined Astra declaiming, “My princess will poop while you watch!”
Anxiety built until the growls in Sarita’s gut made a messy diaper a very real possibility. She felt nauseous and leaned on Astra for support.
“We’re almost there, Princess. All we need is an empty tent.” Astra wrapped her arm around Sarita’s waist and helped her into the room with the little tents.
They’re private changing areas. Relief hit Sarita like a drug, buckling her legs. She was wetting herself again, with her diaper sagging grotesquely between her legs. Most people in the changing room were acting shy, and none seemed to notice Sarita’s latest accident.
The tent was blessedly dark and quiet. Sarita spread herself out like a starfish at Astra’s command and let her mind drift away. Unpleasant sensations from her wet diaper went away, to be replaced by soothing wipes and lotion. Powder and padding had Sarita in a stupor, and best of all, feeling Little again.
She was a bouncy girl on her way out of the tent, skipping along with her Angel to the dance floor. They danced until Sarita’s diaper was soggy with sweat and her Angel was gasping for breath. Hot chocolate sealed the deal, especially when Sarita got a second cup to take with her to the car.
At home, Astra put Sarita to bed with a pacifier in her mouth. The Little girl dimly remembered Astra telling her that she’d filled Nero’s food and water bowls, plus a lot of other household chores. Shortly after, Sarita was out.
—–
Waking up completely babied-out without Astra around was weird. What was even more strange was that Sarita kept finding tears on her cheeks throughout the day. She didn’t know what she had to cry about. Her girlfriend had saved her from having her power cut, plus Sarita had had the most powerful orgasm of her life, and gone dancing afterwards.
The stuff with Jenevieve was weird I guess. Things were awkward with Pauline too. Sarita mused as she wiped tears off her cheeks for the tenth time. I can avoid the first one, and Pauline and I will be fine after we go on another date.
Imagining a date with Pauline reminded Sarita that she’d pushed off her dinner with Nohemi. In full view of Britt, while she was on the floor working, Sarita pulled out her phone and texted Mimi an apology and asked to reschedule.
As she put her phone away, she met Britt’s shocked expression. The terror and guilt that Sarita knew she should feel wouldn’t come. Instead, she shrugged numbly and returned Britt’s stare. To her amazement, Britt turned away and stalked back to her office, refusing to come out for the rest of the night. Anna and Sarita celebrated Britt’s disappearance by locking GrrlPower up three minutes early.
Settling down with her kitty at home, Sarita marveled at how much her phone was blowing up lately. She had texts from Oriana, Nohemi, Pauline, and of course Astra. Most of the texts were from Astra, some of them flirty, but most of them intensely maternal.
Even when Mamá was alive, she didn’t manage me this much. With a shrug, Sarita reported back to her Angel about her day and her plans. When Astra got wind that Sarita was going to have Nohemi over for dinner, she offered to come over beforehand and help Sarita prep.
Trying to politely refuse Astra’s offer revealed that it wasn’t an offer at all. Three texts full of “Little Girl” and “Princess” later, Astra had Sarita agreeing that she needed her Angel to help her get ready for her friend-date.
The next afternoon, Sarita’s apartment was spotless by her standards. Constant chore-reminders from Astra, plus the head start her Angel had given her on cleaning, had Sarita on top of her mess and her clutter. When Astra arrived, she was a whirlwind.
Rambling something about having a networking dinner to get to, Astra swept through the apartment, until everything but Nero had felt her influence. In less than an hour, Sarita’s bathroom was clean enough to eat off of, there was a beautiful risotto finishing on the stove, and Sarita had a pullup on under her short-shorts.
Sarita looked at the formal table setting on her curbside-rescue of a card table in wonder. Astra had provided the tablecloth and showed Sarita how to “properly” arrange her plates and silverware. It looked fancy. Too fancy to be me.
Nervously, Sarita hopped off the couch when Nohemi knocked. Nero did his usual Mimi pandering, nearly climbing her leg in a shameless display. She laughed and good naturedly shook the little black nuisance off her leg. Arms still full of groceries, Nohemi wrapped her arms around Sarita.
“It’s good to see you, girl! How are you holding up?”
“I missed you! I’m good.”
“The place looks great – wow. I see – you’ve – still got – lights?” Nohemi trailed off as she took in the immaculately set table and the risotto on the stove.
“Oh uh – Astra came over a little while ago to help me set up. I told her she didn’t need to, but she insisted!” Sarita giggled, and hoped it didn’t sound as hysterical to Nohemi as it did to her. “Uh, she paid my power bill too, so I was able to get some groceries to help out with the meal.”
“She paid your bill?” Nohemi set the grocery bags down with a thunk. “Wow, that’s generous. I can tell she helped set up. It uh – has her touch.”
Sarita wrung her hands. Things were spiraling out of control. The room felt like it was sliding off-kilter. “I don’t think what we were going to make will go with risotto but uh, I can just put it in the fridge for later. This is supposed to be our meal, right?”
“It was, yeah.” Nohemi sighed. “Sarita, are you really okay with all this?”
“Wh-what do you mean? I had to take Astra’s offer. I mean – I was close to being short on rent without it.”
“It’s more than that though. You don’t think it’s weird that she took over our evening without actually being here?”
The terrible rumbles from the club attacked Sarita’s gut again. She folded her arms over her belly and tried to calm her pounding heart. “I said she didn’t have to.”
“But she did anyway. Sarita, mija, I’m worried about you, that’s all.” Nohemi didn’t look worried, she looked upset. Her face was angry, or sad, or both.
It was all going wrong. Sarita should have started off with complimenting Nohemi’s cool blue wrap dress. Not that Nohemi had said anything about Sarita’s cute blouse or shorts. Shorts with a pullup under them, because of Astra.
“Are you mad at me?” The discomfort and terror in Sarita’s belly combined in an emotional alchemy that turned them into an angry blaze. It’s not fair for her to be mad at me! I didn’t choose to be poor! I couldn’t stop Astra from doing stuff. She was Little for Astra, she knows what it’s like!
“It’d be a lie if I said I wasn’t upset, but it’s not really with you. Walking in on the apartment like this – was kind of rough.”
“It was rough to come to a clean apartment with a nice table?! Why, because it’s not as easy to look down on the poverty case if my place looks good!?”
“What the fuck?!” Nohemi took a couple steps back from Sarita. “Where did that come from?”
“What was between you and Astra? What was the fight that got you kicked out of private events at the Fairy?”
Nohemi blinked, then blinked again and wiped her eyes. “That doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on tonight. Sarita, why are you screaming at me?”
“Because you’re lying to me! Everyone is lying to me!”
“I’m not lying about anything! Just because I don’t share every detail of my past before its relevant…”
“You’ve been dancing around saying stuff about Astra since the night we met!” Sarita’s belly was blazing with rage that had consumed her fear. The only thing she could feel was the righteous flame inside of her. That fire made Sarita sure that Nohemi was an unbelievable bitch for hiding things. “Well now’s your chance! Let it all out!”
“She takes people over!” Nohemi shouted, tears running down her flushed cheeks. “Astra makes people into little dolls to show off to her friends. She tried to do it to me and she’s doing it to you!”
“You’re jealous!” Sarita screamed through a sob. “We’re in love! She helps me so much, takes care of me. Plus at the club two nights ago – I – we…”
Nohemi put her hand to her mouth. “Sarita, what happened at the club? What happened to make you this on edge?”
“We danced and she spanked me, and I came harder than I ever have in my life! It was amazing and I’m going to do it again next time even more!”
“Did she push you to do something you didn’t want to do?” Nohemi’s eyes were full of hurt, but she still reached out to Sarita. The gesture infuriated Sarita. How dare she pity me? She has no right to judge me!
“I liked everything she did. It was hot, and my Angel was proud of me. Maybe next time – I’ll have her change me in front of everyone.”
“If that’s what you really want, that’s fine. Sarita, can’t you see how messed up you are over this?”
“You’re the one who’s messed up. You wanted to fuck me the night we met, so you’ve been trying to poison what I have with my Angel ever since!” As soon as she said it, Sarita knew it was a lie, and wrong to boot. She was too angry to apologize, or even deal with the fact that Nohemi had never tried to date her.
Nohemi gave a breathy, open-mouthed gasp like she’d been punched in the gut. She was two steps back and had her hand on the door before she seemed to know what she was doing. Slowly, Nohemi looked at the doorknob in her hand, then back at Sarita.
“I have to go. Enjoy the risotto.”
“I will.” Sarita shot back venomously. The hateful blaze inside her carried her across the room to slam the door behind Nohemi.
Sarita slumped to the floor as her fire flared out and became gut-wrenching guilty ash. Stoking what few embers remained felt good, reminded her that she’d been in the right. Nohemi had overstepped, had been a terrible, unfair friend.
She’s probably not a friend anymore. Sarita bit her lip at the thought, then bit harder, until she saw stars and her lip was swollen and throbbing. It was always possible she could patch things up. If not, she still had her Angel, and Pauline.
“At least I’ll always have you, right Nero?” Sarita reached for the little black cat, who was busy sniffing the bags Nohemi had dropped. Out of nowhere, he snarled and lashed out with a paw. Sarita drew her hand back, gasping at the bright red line that popped out across the back of it.
“FINE!” She shouted at the cat, sending him scampering off. With her temper boiling again, Sarita stomped to the stove and dug a big spoonful of risotto out of the pan with the mixing spoon. It burned her tongue, but went down warm.
Grabbing her phone, Sarita retreated to her bedroom and drew all the blinds. She closed the door and huddled under the covers with her phone, keeping it plugged in so she could watch video after video. It didn’t matter what social media or streaming site, as long as she could keep watching.
Any distraction was worth keeping at bay the sharp shadows outside the blankets. Desperation had her doom-scrolling until she passed out on her phone. It was a victory against doubt and despair. She’d fought a fighting retreat against admitting how much was broken, and how many of those things had been destroyed by her hands.
Tomorrow was future Sarita’s problem. The Sarita of now had the internet plugged directly into her amygdala, and she couldn’t be happier.
She couldn’t be happier at all.