The morning dawned on an entirely new earth. Jenna woke with the aggressively chirping digital birds of Monserrat’s alarm. Where she would have pulled a pillow over her ears before, Jenna forced herself awake to hold her fiancé before Monchi rose.
The creaky old house was cold, almost as cold as the snowy yard outside. It was warm under the covers, and Monserrat’s bedroom was warming up too, thanks to the space heater pinging and plinking away next to the bed. Snuggles lasted until the room’s temperature reached sixty degrees, at which point Monserrat bravely climbed out of bed.
We belong to each other now. Jenna’s heart was bursting with joy at the thought. It was hard to see how she’d manage actually being married to Monchi, as consuming as her feelings were from being engaged. Sitting up in bed, Jenna took the opportunity to watch her fiancé’s awe-inspiring physique.
“Are you getting up with me?” Monserrat asked, as she pulled on her sports bra and leggings. “Do I get a morning yoga partner?”
“I’ll pass on the yoga.” Jenna yawned. “After you go to the gym I might nap. I didn’t want to miss our morning by sleeping in.”
“Maybe someday.” Monserrat’s smile was the smug one she used when she thought things were going to work out the way she wanted. As impressive as Monchi was, her smug smile was prophetic more often than it wasn’t.
I wouldn’t put good odds on her convincing me to do yoga, especially not at five thirty in the morning. I love you, Monchi, but some things are just crazy.
Watching her fiancé bend and stretch, Jenna wondered why she’d never woken up to watch yoga before. It was stimulating entertainment, even Monserrat putting on a show. Each of the poses seemed to accentuate a different group of Monchi’s toned muscles. I guess that makes sense, you’d want to – activate? – them all, or whatever. The stretching ones make sense, but I’m not sure what this one with her arms up and her legs way apart is for.
“Enjoying the show?” Monserrat broke the final pose, wiping sweat off her forehead and shoulders.
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.” Jenna said, knowing her words would come out corny, especially with a starry-eyed expression on her face. It didn’t matter how corny her words were. They’re the truth.
“And you’re the most darling woman in the world. I’m going to get my shower and take off. Can I get Jenny for a minute?”
Jenna licked her lips nervously. Jenny was her Little self. A regressed girl in the care of Monserrat’s alter-ego, Navi. It didn’t make sense to switch to their age-play personas for only a few minutes though. Normally they played for longer than…
Oh my god. I forgot I was wearing a diaper. Jenna’s eyes went wide. Now that she was thinking about the padding swaddling her rear, it was impossible to miss.
Navi is going to check my diaper. That was a Jenny thought. Monserrat wanted her to be Jenny, which meant Navi was coming out. Jenny was so excited to see her caregiver that she abruptly took the mental reins.
“Sweetie? Are you okay?”
“Yes Navi!” Jenny sat up eagerly. “I didn’t answer at first because I forgot.”
“What did you forget?”
Navi stepped forward. She was shaped just like Monserrat, but there were some key differences. Monserrat was the sun, the light that warmed Jenna’s world. The source of energy that allowed the bird in Jenna’s heart to blaze golden across the sky.
When they’d started age-playing, Jenny had discovered Navi in her Monserrat. Navi was the sky. With Navi around, Jenny didn’t have to fight for altitude to keep herself above the clouds, to keep herself in Monserrat’s light. Warm winds from Navi lifted and cradled Jenny so she could fly effortlessly in the light.
Even now, Jenny could feel Navi’s presence all around her, emanating from Monserrat. She leaned forward to hug her caregiver, before she answered the question.
“I forgot about my diaper.”
“I guess that answers if it’s comfortable or not.” Navi smiled, but it was a wondering, curious smile. “Do you like your diaper, Jenny-bear?”
That was a hard question. Diapers made Jenna nervous. They were strange, kinky, and intended to be used for something very gross and dirty. She wore them because Monserrat wanted her to, but there was a high bar for things she’d do for Monchi. Jenna would cut her right arm off without hesitation, if it would save Monserrat.
Jenny was scared of her diapers whenever she was reminded that she was really Jenna. Anything that was a worry for Jenna was scary to Jenny. The rub was, diapers came from Navi. Elizabat, Jenny’s bat stuffie, was like an avatar of Navi. When Navi wasn’t around to hug, Elizabat would stand in. In the same way, a diaper was a physical reminder of Navi taking care and charge of Jenny.
“Jenny likes them.” She’d never been the best communicator outside of the concise logic of mathematical symbols. Jenny knew explaining her view of Navi was doomed to fail, especially so early in the morning.
Navi searched Jenny’s eyes. She was doing her soul-reading thing, using her marvelous ability to understand other people just by looking at them and talking with them. Of course, anyone could learn about someone by interacting with them. Even Jenna could do that. The difference was the uncanny skill which Navi or Monserrat wielded.
“I think I understand.”
I bet you do! You don’t know about the wind and the sun and the bird and the clouds all inside me, but you understand my feelings, and that’s the important part.
“I love you, Navi.”
“I love you too, baby girl. I’m going to check your diaper now.” Navi put her hands down Jenny’s pajamas and diapers without waiting for permission. That was fine, Jenny belonged to Navi in every way that mattered. There was enough of Jenna in the back of Jenny’s mind to make the her squirm anyway.
“Your diaper feels dry, good girl! My baby girl feels like she might be turned on, too.”
Navi hadn’t withdrawn her hand, and was cupping Jenny’s crotch. The squirms came from Jenny that time. She ran her hands down Navi’s arms, up her belly, and cupped the spandex-bound expanse of Navi’s chest.
“You’re so pretty and sexy. I liked watching you. I wanted to touch you and have you touch me.” Jenny was ready to go, despite Jenna’s embarrassment at her eagerness.
Navi picked Jenny up, resting the Little girl’s butt on her forearm. There was no better way to be safe with Navi than to be held. It made Jenny’s fears vanish and scattered Jenna’s worries. They kissed, Navi holding Jenny urgently, Jenny surrendering tenderly.
“You’re fascinating, baby girl. It’d be hard for Jenna to say something like that, but Jenny said it easily.”
It was true, Jenny realized. Jenna was anxiously second guessing what she’d said. But it was the truth. I have to be a good girl for Navi, which means being truthful. Connecting her embarrassing words to being a good girl soothed Jenny and Jenna both.
“Do I have to wear a diaper to school today?” As soon as Jenny had the question out, Jenna recoiled in horror. Her body, caught between a sleepy desire to play with Navi, and terror at the idea of being diapered in public, simply froze.
Navi’s surprised expression quickly resolved into concern. Her free hand stroked Jenny’s back until the Little girl was able to relax.
“You must be really sleepy to make that offer. I don’t think you’re ready for that. Besides, you’re not required to wear them at school yet. Remember, Jenny? You don’t have to wear protection at school if you keep your panties clean. If I find out you’ve been having accidents, that’s when we’ll start you with pullups during the day.”
There was a simple solution baked in to Navi’s explanation. Jenny could just wet her pants at school and Navi would put her in…
NO!
The mental whiplash from Jenny’s train of thought snapped her back into Jenna. More than that, she was a Jenna who was fully awake, and horrified that she’d even contemplated wetting herself on purpose. It was bad enough to consider wetting a diaper with Monserrat right there to change it immediately. If I wet myself at school, I would die of shame on the spot.
Jenna’s legs buckled. She caught herself by falling back to the bed on her rear. Monserrat had put her down. It was probably because Jenna had freaked out. Dimly, Jenna remembered thrashing in panic.
“Jenny-bear, are you okay?”
“Jenna. It’s Jenna.” Her heart was pounding, she was panting like she’d just run to catch a bus. “I’m sorry, Monchi. I couldn’t do it anymore. I – I went too far.”
Monserrat sat on the bed and put her arms around Jenna. A heartfelt sigh started at the very bottom of Jenna’s belly and left her limp as it passed.
“You got scared.” Monserrat didn’t have to ask. She almost always knew without asking. It was something Jenna would never take for granted. They’d build their relationship atop Monserrat’s rock-solid intuition.
“It was too much. I’m trying! I’ll be able to do it someday. You’ll see, I’ll be a good girl.”
A crushing hug from Monserrat put Jenna’s breathing and thoughts on hold. When Monserrat released her, they kissed, keeping Jenna’s thoughts at bay a few moments longer.
“I don’t know what it was, exactly, that scared you, but it doesn’t matter. We’ll get there in our own time. You’re my good girl forever. I’m going to marry you.”
The last five words ignited the sun over Jenna, making her shine like gold. Dark, worrisome thoughts couldn’t gain purchase on shining cold. They were gone, for the morning at least.
“I can’t wait to be your wife. I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Me too, love.” Monserrat grinned with her secret, goofy smile that Jenna was pretty sure was only for her. She’d never seen it except when they were alone. Monserrat’s other girlfriends had never mentioned it, and they were quick to tease Monserrat for anything they thought was cute.
Sighing, Monserrat checked her phone. “I don’t want to go, but I’m already late. I know we’re not playing anymore, but do you want help with your diaper before I go?”
“I can manage it.” Jenna ducked her head as a wave of shy feeling flooded her. “I’m going to wear it until I shower.”
“Every time I think I can’t love you more…” Monserrat kissed Jenna once more, desperately, like she could use the kiss to take Jenna’s heart with her. Then she was up and gone, moving with the speed and grace of a wolf.
Well, that was a hell of an emotional morning. Jenna fell back on the bed and dozed until her alarm shrieked at her for the third time.
With classes starting in the afternoon, Jenna’s mornings were considerably slower than Monserrat’s. Especially since she didn’t have a packed schedule of gym time, sports practice, and escort work,. It’s the normal college experience, she reminded herself. It’s not weird to only have classes, work study, and an independent study project. Most students don’t even have that last one.
As part of her normal morning, Jenna had her coffee and breakfast with her roommates. Rachel and Niusha were more than roommates really, they were dear friends and Monserrat’s girlfriends besides. It was Jenna’s turn to make breakfast, which meant she made the only breakfast she was good at, French toast and bacon. Rachel cooked a mean pancake and made transcendent waffles, but too often got lazy and made oatmeal. Niusha tended to default to a flatbread and cheese platter, but would occasionally deliver spectacular Iranian omelets.
With the last three half-slices of toast on Jenna’s plate and the burner off, Jenna joined her roommates at the table. Rachel served her bacon as she sat, Niusha pushed a cup of coffee next to Jenna’s plate.
“Thank you.” Jenna snapped off a bite of the bacon and chased it with life-sustaining coffee.
“Thanks for breakfast.” Niusha said, with Rachel nodding her agreement.
They ate quietly for a bit as Jenna gathered her courage. There’s no way either of the girls had been awake when Monserrat had gone to the gym. The news of her engagement was hers to tell as much as it was Monserrat’s. She wasn’t “connected” to either of the girls in the polycule the way Monserrat was, but that might make it an even better idea for Jenna to break the news.
If I tell them now, they can be happy for us without having to discuss relationship stuff with Monserrat right away. It’ll give them time to think.
Having built up an excellent justification for announcing her burning news, Jenna took a sip of coffee and cleared her throat. “I have something to tell you both.”
Her roommates looked up curiously. Taking a moment to sit up bravely, Jenna said, “Monchi and I were talking last night and – she proposed to me. We’re engaged now.”
Total silence followed that bomb. As tears were threatening the corners of Jenna’s eyes, both girls exploded into delighted cheers.
“That’s amazing! Good for you two!” Rachel leapt out of her chair, knocking it down behind her.
“I’m so happy for you both! Good for you Jenna! We were hoping this would happen.” Niusha gave Jenna’s arm a warm squeeze.
Rachel grabbed Jenna in a hug, which Niusha had to get in on. They stood in the kitchen, hugging tightly, while happy tears ran down Jenna’s face. She hadn’t expected either girl to be angry, but since they were dating Monserrat, it’d have been reasonable for them to have some disappointment. I never dreamed they’d be this enthusiastic and happy for us.
“We are still a polycule, aren’t we?” Rachel asked, as they disengaged.
“Rach! What a horrible thing to ask, right after Jenna told us her good news.” Niusha slapped Rachel on the shoulder.
“It’s a fair question.” Jenna held up her hands placatingly. “Monserrat is still polyamorous. That’s not going to change. We’re still a polycule. Well, you and Monchi are, and she and I am – or however it works.”
“The way it works is that you’re in the polycule because you’re in our hearts.” Niusha took Jenna’s hand gently.
“We love you, Jenna. It’s poly-amory, not poly-bangery.” Rachel took Jenna’s other hand.
“My girlfriend, the romantic.” Niusha rolled her eyes. “Rachel is being crude, but she’s right. We both love you very much. It doesn’t mater that we don’t do anything sexual together. You’re in the polycule.”
“You – you girls.” A happy sob burst out of Jenna, triggering her roommates to hug her again. When Jenna’s emotions were sorted, and they’d all sat down to breakfast again, she gazed in wonder at the girls she lived with.
I fell in love with Monserrat, so quickly, I didn’t realize how close I was getting to Rachel and Niusha.
“I love you, Niusha,” Jenna said, sincerely. In the space afforded by Niusha’s surprise, she followed up with, “I love you, Rachel.”
“Oh honey.” Rachel dabbed at her eyes.
“Thank you, love.” Niusha put her hand over her heart.
“I know that things are going to change now, Monserrat is planning to talk to both of you, of course. It means so much to me that you were so happy for me and for us.”
“You know that’s a conversation that we have to have now too, right?” Niusha said, as she scraped syrup off her plate with her last bite of toast.
“That’s right, you said you love us, so you’re a polyamory now.” Rachel stuck her tongue out at Jenna. “We have to figure out what happens between the three of us, separately from Monchi.”
Jenna giggled. They’re completely right. Being included in the polyamory discussions, banished worries that had been gnawing at Jenna’s engagement euphoria. She had the chance to make sure that Rachel and Niusha weren’t hurt by the relationship shift. I couldn’t figure out why I was so worried about their reactions until I realized I love them. It’s important that they don’t get hurt by this.
“I’ve never done a three way version of this talk before. It’s always just been me and Monchi.”
“Three-ways are really fun, you’ve been missing out.” Rachel took a sip of her coffee, her eyes twinkling.
“Which was NOT Rachel hitting on you, right Rachel?” Niusha threw a stern look at Rachel. “We’re not going to push your boundaries like Tara did. I’m really sorry she wouldn’t leave you alone.”
“Sometimes – I like having my boundaries pushed.” Jenna studied her empty plate intently. “That’s why – I said it was okay for you two to tease me about sex stuff. It started out as a way to learn more about Monserrat’s life but – I – I found out being pushed is something I like. If it’s done right. Tara did it wrong.”
“What are you saying, Jenna?” Niusha asked.
“I want to be more open about our lives. We’re all in love with each other – I – asked you both a lot about what you do with Monserrat, but I didn’t share. I want to be closer with you, I know I don’t do anything adventurous like you two do but…”
“The hell you don’t. You’re doing ABDL stuff with Monchi, aren’t you?” Rachel asked.
“Rachel, be gentle.” Niusha said.
“It’s okay um, yeah, I am.” Jenna’s courage returned, letting her look up at her roommates again. “You really want to know about it?”
“We’ve both been curious since Monserrat started that escort work,” Niusha said. She cast a glance at Rachel, who nodded vigorously. “It sounds wild, but I honestly don’t know much.”
“It’s not wild.” Jenna laughed. “We just – well Monchi puts me in kid clothes – and – and p-pullups sometimes. It was hard to do at first, really confusing. It only started to make sense when I created Jenny.”
“Huh?” Rachel cocked her head curiously.
“Sorry! My thoughts are scattered. Jenny is the Little me, she gets taken care of by Navi – uh, that’s Monchi but when we’re playing – and then it’s easier to play.”
“Woah, Jenna, that’s really cool. You have a whole different headspace you get into when you and Monserrat play?” Niusha had an admiring look on her face.
Niusha’s praise didn’t make any sense to Jenna. Her roommate was crazy experienced with sex. She did all kinds of bondage stuff and even went to special clubs where people did sex things in public.
“I don’t want to intrude on your thing with Monchi, but I’d be super interested to see the Jenny-you sometime. Changing headspace is a big deal, not everyone can go that deep into playing.” Rachel looked impressed too. It felt like the world had shifted to a Dutch angle.
“Well technically you could, if I got brave enough.” Jenna’s laugh had a slight hysterical edge to it. She took a deep breath to calm herself. “I mean – watching is one of the only things that got negotiated as okay between all four of us. I’ve just never done it.”
Rachel blinked. She turned to Niusha, exchanging a long look with her girlfriend. Both girls turned back to Jenna. Rachel cleared her throat. “I remember that being negotiated – you weren’t enthusiastic, which was fine. Are you saying that now – you’re interested?”
Heat burned across Jenna’s nose and spread across her cheeks. She felt her spine stiffen, pressed her hands into her lap. “I guess it depends. I mean – if I – watched you d-do something it would be – um – I mean, originally we were talking about me watching you with Monserrat but it could also be – be um – just two – just you two.”
A feeling like static electricity prickled across Jenna’s skin. There was another spreading patch of heat on her body, centered between her legs. Even a hint of imagining her beautiful roommates naked and touching each other made her shockingly wet.
“Holy shit. I’ve never seen you turned on like this.” Niusha whispered.
“I’m sorry.” Jenna squeaked. “I’m not trying to – to push something on you.”
“You’re not, hon.” Rachel patted Jenna’s shoulder gingerly. “This was negotiated ages ago. We’re a little surprised that it’s coming from you, but it’s not like Niusha and I haven’t gone from the breakfast table to her bed before.”
“She gets syrup all over her knuckles, somehow.” Niusha’s tone was low and husky. “Then she gets it on her body when she takes her shirt off. Do you know how long it takes to lick syrup off skin? It’s not one swipe with your tongue, you have to work at it.”
Jenna moaned, immediately clapping a hand over her traitorous mouth. Her panties were soaked. The wild thought that she’d fail a panty inspection by Monserrat only added to her heat. Her shirt felt rough and inconvenient as her nipples strained against it.
“Wow. Big wow.” Rachel ran her hands through her hair. “Jenny – do you want us to stop teasing – or do you want to keep going?”
“What would keep going mean?” Jenna’s voice was thin with the strain that held her body rigid.
“I don’t know about Niusha, but I’m getting worked up from seeing how turned on you are. If we kept going, I’d be all over her, and you could watch.”
“Yes please.” Niusha’s reply came quickly and eagerly.
“I’m not allowed to touch!” Jenna exclaimed, on pure instinct.
Niusha giggled. “Rachel just said watch, honey.”
“No, I think I get what that was about.” Rachel stood up and walked behind Jenna, putting her hands on Jenna’s shoulders. “You haven’t shared much with us, but it’s obvious you’re really subby. Do you need not touching to be a command? Do you want us to put you in a corner and make you watch?”
“Oh god.” Jenna gasped and bit her index knuckle. The pain warded away inappropriate impulses – like putting her hand down her pants.
“Looks like you’ve got her number, Rachel.” Niusha rose, her face flushed. She met Rachel behind Jenna and very audibly kissed her girlfriend on the throat. “I say we take this girl back to my room and show her what’s been happening all those nights that she put her earbuds in.”
“At this point, you’re involved. You’d need to stop us is by saying No.” Rachel leaned down and whispered in Jenna’s ear. “If you don’t say no, it means you want it.”
A great shudder set Jenna’s entire body trembling. She had just enough control to not touch herself under her pants. Even so, she was pressing through them onto the heat between her legs. This is crazy – how did the morning get here? I’ve rarely wanted anything so much in my life. Am I turning into a sex crazed girl?
“Rachel’s right about what not saying no means. It’s also completely delicious that you’re about to come just from talking about watching us. One thing first, we need to hear a positive affirmation before we go to my room.” Niusha stroked Jenna’s hair gently. “If you want this, say Yes. We can work out rules for not saying no being a yes, later.”
“Yes.” Jenna bit her lip in humiliation when the word came out as a moan. “Yes – show me. Let me watch.”
“Remember, no touching.” Rachel said as she helped Jenna stand. “Once we put you in the corner, you can’t move until we’re done.”
In a haze of lust, Jenna stumbled along with her roommates. Niusha had taken a chair from the kitchen, which they literally put in a corner, facing the bed. Jenna sat on the chair and gripped her thighs tightly, trying not to hyperventilate.
Her roommates – are they my girlfriends now? – began slowly, with lots of gentle kisses as they removed each other’s clothes. Jenna had never seen people so intimate outside of movies. In person, it was a beautiful echo of the tender way she and Monserrat touched each other. Memories blended with what Jenna was watching until her whole body felt like it was a live wire.
The transition to the bed was raw and visceral. Both Rachel and Niusha had thrown teasing glances at Jenna when they were making out. When they hit the bed they became consumed with each other. The room filled with the smell of their bodies, Jenna contributing her own share as sweat broke out all over her.
What she was watching was so wet, so urgent and needy. Jenna’s back hurt from straining forward, her eyes were dry and itchy. Rachel had her fingers inside Niusha – so many fingers! Jenna’s sex ached in sympathy; she mashed her hand on her wet pants against that ache.
The room echoed with the sound of Niusha’s screams; her climax left Rachel’s hand and arm glistening. In the pause that followed, Jenna’s panting breath rasped loud in her ears. Her own sounds faded under the new song of pleasure, that began with Niusha burying her face between Rachel’s legs.
All decorum abandoned, Jenna pawed at her breasts and crotch. It wasn’t out of modesty that she was touching herself though her clothes. Jenna’s brain wouldn’t give her the space to navigate her hands around the cloth.
Rachel’s hushed, ecstatic moans sent a shiver down Jenna’s spine. The way her girlfriends – my roommates? – came together to cuddle and kiss made her arms and lips ache for Monserrat. Still panting, but no longer pawing at herself, Jenna managed to scrape her eyelids across her arid eyes.
Niusha got out of bed, radiant and reeking of sex. She squatted down by Jenna and stroked her cheek with a sweaty hand. “Did you get what you wanted out of that, love?”
“Oh god.” Jenna whimpered. “Oh, oh god.”
“Your crotch is SOAKED. What would Monserrat do if she saw you like that? Put you in a diaper, probably.”
Amazement and bliss shivered through Jenna as a tiny orgasm blossomed between her legs. The tiny climax satisfied nothing, blunting Jenna’s desire for only a few moments.
“You – are – amazing.” Niusha whispered. “Go to your room, lover. Go masturbate.”
Jenna fled the room. She didn’t remember running through the house, but she remembered throwing herself down on her bed and plunging her fingers along her slit until she screamed into her pillows. Monserrat would have been stunned to see Jenna flip herself over, pressing her face into the pillow while she plunged two fingers inside her sacred chamber.
The ache in her nerves demanded an ache in her body. Jenna pushed herself to the limit again and again. When she collapsed on the bed, it was in much more of a sweaty mess than either of her girlfriends had been.
Despite her first class having a 1 p.m. start time, Jenna was five minutes late. The annoyed look her professor gave her would normally have skewered her. Nothing negative could penetrate the shield of happiness surrounding Jenna. Her engagement, discovering new loves, and a morning of mind-melting sensuality had her glowing.
Between classes, she finally had a chance to check her phone and try to arrange a meeting with Monserrat. There was a message waiting for her from Rachel, reminding her that she still had to share. Jenna giggled nervously. It was only fair that she talk to her girlfriends about her diapers after what they’d shared with her.
That it was fair made it easier to face. Still, it’d be easier to do if she had Monserrat with her. To her surprise, Monserrat pre-empted Jenna’s request by asking if Jenna would feel comfortable talking to Clarissa about ABDL.
In for a penny, in for neutronium. Jenna texted back, agreeing to a discussion with Clarissa – while inviting Niusha and Rachel as well. The reaction she got back from Monserrat involved three animated gifs, lots of emojis, and no less than a dozen exclamation points.
I finally went somewhere she didn’t expect, didn’t plan for. Beaming up at the wan spring sun, Jenna basked in the emotional glow of Monserrat’s sun. Her bird wasn’t merely reflecting the sunlight, she shone with a light of her own.