Melody woke up next to Veronica, cuddled against her. That was seriously weird. They’d come to rely on her older, gothier roommate for a while, but there was still some distance. There wasn’t a lot of distance at the moment. More like a thin nightshirt on Veronica’s side, and only-slightly-thicker pajamas on Melody’s.
Briana was snoring on an air mattress on the floor. Cutely, of course. Go Bri, even your snores are cute. They tried drawing away from Veronica and only managed to wake her up. It was odd seeing Veronica without her gothic makeup on, though her eyes were pretty intense even without their sharp outlines.
“Good morning Melody.” Veronica said softly. “How are you feeling?”
“Bleh.” Melody said. “Better than yesterday.”
“Good. Hmm, you’re wet too.” Veronica said, squeezing Melody’s rear. “Did you just go?”
“I am?” Melody frowned. “No, I woke up just now.”
“You must have gone in your sleep then.” Veronica said. “I know we put you to bed dry.”
I’m a bedwetter now? Melody asked themself. Great. Just put me in the trash can with the rest of the garbage.
“Are you alright to wait for a change until after I feed Briana?” Veronica asked, with an uncharacteristically hesitant expression. “I’m a little sore.”
“Yeah that’s okay.” Melody hesitated and bit their lip. “Um, can I ask about that?”
“Of course, little one.” Veronica said.
“Why?” Melody asked. They probably should have included more than a single word, but everything they came up with to expand the question sounded either insulting or stupid in their head.
“To be closer to her.” Veronica said. “We’re almost the same age. She’s not my daughter by blood. I wanted something – primal. Something that would bind us together on a spiritual level.”
“Did it work?” Melody asked.
“I think so.” Veronica said. “Why, are you wanting…”
“No!” Melody said in an urgent whisper. “I’m just curious.”
“Okay. I mean, I considered it for a moment when I thought you were asking, but I don’t think we’re close enough yet.” Veronica kissed Melody on the forehead.
That was a scary thought. Scary because it felt sexy in some ways, Melody realized. They didn’t want sexy from Veronica. They wanted comfort, caring, support… they wanted a mom.
“Hah, yeah, we aren’t.” Melody said with an evasive chuckle. “I mean, I don’t even call you mom or anything, like Briana does.”
“You would be welcome to.” Veronica said. “I think of you as my child.”
Melody froze up. Even breathing was suspended. That statement touched a lot of emotions. Right now, emotions were like falling knives. You had to be skilled and a little lucky to grab one without getting cut. Better to not.
“Breathe, Melody.” Veronica commanded.
Melody gasped. They looked at Veronica through wide eyes. Behind those eyes was a lot of fear and vulnerability. All they could do was hope that Veronica would be gentle. She could break a lot of things from where she was lying.
“I’m not asking you to call me that.” Veronica said. “It will always be your choice to define the relationship between us.”
“I want it too much.” Melody said. “It hurts.”
Truth came so easily to their lips now. They’d been soiled and stripped bare in front of Veronica dozens of times. With their confession about Beatrix, it felt like there was nothing secret left between them. It wasn’t much of an exaggeration to say that Veronica had saved their life. Melody felt like they had to give her anything and everything in return.
“Why does it hurt?” Veronica asked softly.
“Rosa.” Melody said. “I called her Mommy and she loved it. I loved calling her that. Also… my bio-mom.”
“Tell me about her. Your biological mother.” Veronica said.
“Her name is Charity.” Melody said with a bitter laugh. “She was always kind of freaky-religious, but she’s in the Quiverfulls now.”
“Oh dear.” Veronica said. “I imagine she isn’t happy with your sexuality.”
“When I fell in love with Beatrix I told her.” Melody said. “She – she turned cold, like a stone. Said she wasn’t my mom anymore. I’ve never spoken to her since. I mean, I sent a lot of texts and letters and stuff before I gave up, but she never answered.”
“My poor Melody.” Veronica gathered Melody up to her bosom.
It was comforting, warm and safe feeling. There was a slight odd odor, sour and soapy. It took Melody a moment to realize what it was. When they did, they blushed. Nothing like literally smelling breast milk to make them feel like a baby.
“Did you have another parent in your life at the time?” Veronica asked.
Oh good, that question, Melody thought.
“You can uh, wake Briana up if you want.” Melody said. “You said you were sore, we don’t need to do my whole life’s story right now.”
“I’m fine.” Veronica said. “No evading. I’ve learned that we often don’t come back to these topics when you say we can discuss them later.”
“I have a bio-dad.” Melody said in a whisper. “He left when I was a kid. That’s when mom started joining scary churches. Eventually this guy showed up and married her. David.”
Even after more than four years, Melody was surprised by the amount of venom that came out when they said that name. Apparently Veronica was too, she flinched a little.
“I take it he wasn’t supportive either.” Veronica said, in the understatement of the year.
“He came with some guys from the church to kidnap me. Probably to send me to conversion therapy.” Melody said. “Beatrix saved me.”
“She did?” Veronica asked. She sounded astonished. Melody gave themself some fake internet points for making Doctor Goth drop her therapist mask.
“Yeah uh, we’re friends. Thing have only gotten all fucked up recently. There’s advantages to having her for a friend if someone comes after you.” Melody sighed. “She uh, actually scared them. Bea is terrifying when she wants to be, and she wanted to be that day. For me.”
“I’m impressed.” Veronica said, grudgingly.
“It was a crazy scene.” Melody said. “It was loud enough to get the Resident Advisor of the dorms involved. After that, the church guys had to back off.”
“And you’ve supported yourself since.” Veronica said.
“Yeah, had to. Bea knows how to make money, she’s smart about that stuff. Some of the ways she does it are even ethical.” Melody chuckled humorlessly. “She helped me. A lot. She’s so beautiful. She’s so powerful. She’s my girlfriend now. I don’t know what to do.”
“Thank you for telling me all this. I understand so much more now. I still think a romantic relationship with Beatrix is a bad idea.” Veronica said. When Melody protested, she cut them off, “But! If you really wanted it, I wouldn’t stop you by force. You HAVE to set boundaries with her though. That’s not negotiable.”
“Nobody sets boundaries with Beatrix.” Melody said. “She’s – Beatrix.”
“I’m sure people set boundaries with her all the time. I doubt she runs roughshod over Marc, the Dean of Economics. I know him well. He’s not a pushover.”
“That’s different. He has power over her.” Melody said.
“So do you. She wants something from you. You don’t have to provide it.” Veronica said. “If she wants what she’s getting out of your relationship, she has to respect what you need.”
Melody shook their head.
“If you can’t make that happen, then you have to end it with her.” Veronica said. “Not necessarily the friendship, though I suspect you don’t have many boundaries there either.”
“What if I do that, and I never see her again?” Melody asked.
“What if she never hits you again?” Veronica countered.
Melody sighed. They took a few slow, deep breaths. The mix of smells in the bed should have been pretty funky. Both Melody and Veronica smelled like anybody does, waking up. On top of that, one of them was rocking a wet diaper and the other had sour-milk boobies.
The smell wasn’t bad. It was comfort. There were smells under the obvious ones that healed some of the aches inside of Melody. The clean part of Veronica’s smell was safety. Musty odors from the wicked-old house meant happiness, Melody realized.
They’d been happy here. Really, actually happy. Better than maybe anything since bio-dad had gone. Too-emotionally raw to worry about awkwardness, Melody rested their cheek on the exposed skin of Veronica’s upper chest.
“Veronica.” Melody said. “Will you be my mom?”
“Yes Melody.” Veronica said, squeezing them tightly. “I will. Forever, if you want it.”
“I want.” Melody said, squeezing Veronica right back.
“OHMYGODYES!” Briana squealed – from above?
Melody had a mere moment to register the outburst before Briana crashed on top of the two of them. She latched on her mom and sibling, literally vibrating with excitement.
“Ow! Dude, how long have you been awake?” Melody asked. “How much did you hear?”
“Lots!” Briana said. “I love you Melody. I love you Mom! I’m so excited, and sorry for you Mel, and I couldn’t take it anymore!”
“I’m glad you’re excited, Baby Bee, but please don’t land on us like that again. You are petite, but not baby sized.” Veronica said, scooting Briana over so that Melody was between the two of them.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help it!” Briana pressed up close to Melody’s back.
“Please don’t repeat the stuff I said about Beatrix to people, sis.” Melody said.
“I won’t!” Briana said breezily.
“Briana, I want you to take what Melody asked seriously. Nothing Melody said leaves this room, not even if it’s Gary, do you understand?” Veronica’s voice had that mommy-whip.
“I wasn’t going to!” Briana protested. It wasn’t a very convincing protest.
“I know you won’t.” Veronica said. “Because your sibling bravely shared something private with us. You wouldn’t hurt them by sharing it with people they don’t want to include.”
“Okay, sorry mommy! I won’t, really!” Briana said contritely. She nuzzled the back of Melody’s neck. “I wouldn’t hurt you Melody. I love you.”
“I love you too, Bratana.” Melody said, chuckling.
“What did you just call me?” Briana asked in an outraged tone.
“It’s your superhero name. Bratana.” Melody said with a giggle. “Because I know you love me, and I love you, but you are bratty a lot.”
“Meanie.” Briana accused good naturedly.
“That’s my job as the older one.” Melody said, chuckling. “Anyway um – if you two want to do your morning thing, I can go take a shower.”
“If you just wait a bit, I’ll take care of you when we’re done.” Veronica said. “Unless it bothers you to be here when I feed Briana?”
“No, it doesn’t. Really.” Melody said sincerely. “Today’s my long day at school though. I should get going.”
“I could call in sick for you.” Veronica said. “It’s the last day before the break, plenty of people are on an early vacation anyway.”
“No, I can do this.” Melody said. “Thanks Mom.”
“I’m still worried about you. What are you going to do if you run into Beatrix today?”
“I won’t.” Melody said. “She has something she’s doing.”
They squirmed out of bed and dug in their school bag, fishing out the utility knife at the bottom. After a moment’s hesitation, they offered the knife to Veronica.
“You’re a good kid, Melody.” Veronica said, taking the knife. “I’m proud of you.”
Melody blushed, squirming in their sweaty pjs and heavy diaper. “Thanks Mom.”
“That’s coming really easily to you.” Veronica said, smiling. “Have you wanted to say it for a while?”
“Yeah.” Melody said bashfully.
“I’m glad we found our way there.” Veronica said. “Go take your shower while I feed your sister. I’m still going to get you dressed for school, and I’ll make you some breakfast before you go, alright?”
“Yes Mom. Thank you.” Melody said, a little warm glow in their heart.
That little glow was surrounded by dark and scary stuff. Like a bonfire or a site of grace was in a Fromsoft game. It was a lot better than not having one though. It made the thought of going to school bearable. For once the long, exhausting day would be a blessing. Melody’s long day didn’t allow time for dwelling on one’s thoughts.
Back at home, Melody was just starting to relax into some little-time, when their phone buzzed angrily. It was the buzz that meant someone had tried to text them repeatedly and broken through the DND setting. There were only two people that would be messaging them that way, and Melody’s heart couldn’t take either of them in its current state.
Grabbing the phone, they didn’t look at the lock screen to see who it was. It didn’t matter if they weren’t going to answer. Melody shoved their phone under their bed and went to find their sister.
The first day of break started off so sweetly. Melody woke up wet again, but they refused to dwell on it. It was probably just a temporary thing and it meant they got another change from Veronica in the morning, was all. After breakfast they had an urgent invitation to play Cloudland with Briana.
“We have to figure out a sword for you.” Briana said.
“I’ve got one, don’t worry.” Melody said.
“Mom said we can’t play with the metal ones, remember?”
“Yeah, but I forgot I have a plastic one. Well, foam and resin, but basically the same.”
“I wanna see! Go get it. Hurry sib!” Briana said, jumping up and down excitedly.
Melody grinned and took their time. After all, they had a costume change planned as well as a sword to retrieve. Briana was so cute in her She Ra pajama top with her Sword of Protection that Melody knew they were going to have to make an effort to match their sister.
The back of their closet held the red robe-like suiken from Melody’s Inuyasha costume. The white wig, tooth necklace, and fangs were in a box somewhere that was too much trouble to find. However, the huge Tessaiga replica was easy to spot. Melody checked themself out in the mirror, resting the fur-hilted sword on their shoulders. Not bad!
“What is that!?” Briana asked, mouth agape, when Melody returned.
“It’s half my Inuyasha costume.” Melody said. At Briana’s blank look, they added, “It’s an anime. Inuyasha is the title character.”
“Oh, what’s it about?” Briana asked.
“I’ll show you. Whenever I say Kagome, you say Inuyasha, okay?”
“Huh?”
“Kagome!” Melody said urgently.
“Inuyasha?” Briana replied, still confused.
“Kagome!” Melody repeated.
“Inuyasha!” Briana said, following up with a giggle.
They went back and forth ten more times before Melody let themself fall back on the couch laughing.
“Okay, now you know what the anime is about.”
“I really don’t though.”
“Don’t worry, it’s a meme.” Melody said. “I’ll show you the anime and it’ll all make sense.”
“Can we PLEASE play Cloudland now?” Briana said impatiently.
“Sure. It’s time to duel!” Melody said, smirking.
“You’re so weird sometimes, sib.” Briana said, giggling.
Weird or not, Melody was victorious in their duel against their mind-controlled sister an hour or so later. Alanna herself gave Melody a medal for defeating the Space Spiders of Zartan10 and saving all of Cloudland. They received special commendation for noticing Briana’s mind-controlled state and refraining from hurting their sister in the duel.
Briana received a medal for brokering a peace with the spider people and forgiving them for mind-controlling her. Melody’s stuffie of Kumoko from “So I’m a Spider, So What?” also joined Cloudland as an official knight and representative of her people. Since both medals were foil-wrapped chocolate coins, the two knights ate them immediately after the awards ceremony, as was tradition.
“Lunchtime.” Jane said, poking her head into the drawing room. She paused and looked at the couch cushions that had been strewn around the drawing room. “I see you two have had a productive morning.”
“I saved Briana from mind control!” Melody said. They giggled, feeling a little nervous about continuing the game with Jane there.
“And I made peace with the spider people even though they mind controlled me.” Briana said eagerly.
“That’s very good. However, this debriefing hasn’t explained yet why you both have chocolate on your faces.”
“We got medals.” Melody said bashfully.
Jane looked at the bowl of chocolate coins, which had lost a lot of it’s volume since the day started. “You must have gotten a lot of medals.” She said dryly.
“That’s because we’re such good knights!” Briana said, bouncing over to Jane. “We saved the day!”
“Well you better have saved your appetite too, or we’re going to have to revisit whether you’re good knights or not. It’s lunchtime.”
“What’s for lunch?” Melody asked, hesitantly walking up to join Briana.
“Grilled cheese and tomato soup.” Jane said. “But you kids better eat your whole lunch, or I’m not taking you sledding afterwards.”
“Sledding?!” Briana said with an excited gasp.
“Really?” Melody asked shyly. “Both of us?”
“IF you both eat your whole lunch.” Jane said. She spit on a corner of her shirt and rubbed Briana’s face clean. “If either of you doesn’t, we’re not going.”
“We will!” Briana insisted.
“Yeah, no prob…” Melody was caught off guard when Jane spit on another shirt corner and reached for them. Their attempt to back away was slow and Jane didn’t acknowledge it, rubbing their face clean with just as much brusque care as she had Briana.
“Good, get your padded butts in the kitchen then, while it’s still warm.” Jane gave them each a firm pat on said butts to send them on their way.
It was a relief to see that the kitchen was empty. Playing around Briana was awesome. It was almost the same with Veronica. Jane they were still a tiny bit nervous about, but it was pretty much okay. Any of the other roommates would be too much. Melody knew they wouldn’t be able to relax enough to be little with anyone else.
Melody squished into a kitchen chair. It wasn’t their fault they were wet, exactly. Briana had suggested wetting as a representation for damage in their duel. She was surprisingly skilled with that plastic sword of hers. They chuckled and elbowed their sister, making Briana spill some soup on her pj pants.
“Hey, what was that for!?” Briana protested.
“For making my seat so squishy.” Melody said, sticking their tongue out at Briana.
“Hah! I am a deadly foe, even mind-controlled.” Briana said triumphantly. “You’re lucky you had a secret weapon, or you never would have beaten me.”
“You mean the power of love? Strongest anime weapon there is.” Melody grinned.
Briana gave a glowing grin, like she did every time Melody told her sister that they loved her. It was dumb to hope that Briana would always grin like that in response, but Melody hoped it anyway.
The quality of lunch made Melody drastically raise their opinion of Jane’s cooking skills. The soup was store-bought, but the grilled cheese was a real treat. The bread was cooked to a perfect golden-brown, but every bit of the cheese was melty. It was even cut into triangles AND the crusts had been cut off. A true masterpiece of little cuisine.
As soon as they were done eating, Jane was on them to clear their plates and follow her to the bathroom. Taking Jane’s hand and having Briana take their other as they walked in a little line to the bathroom made Melody blush.
Once there, Jane wasted no time stripping Melody of their pajama pants and diaper and seating them on the potty.
“I don’t have to go.” Melody protested, holding their costume robe bunched around their waist. “I got it all out during the duel.”
“We’re going out for the afternoon.” Jane said, prepping a toothbrush and diligently brushing Briana’s teeth. “This is your chance to go poop before we leave. The bathrooms at the park are locked during the winter, so if you go while we’re out, you’ll either have to stay in your messy diaper or get changed in the back of the car.”
Melody felt their face burn scarlet and looked down at their knees. It was worse because they hadn’t been paying much attention and actually did need to go. It hadn’t been urgent or anything, but they were glad that Jane had reminded them. Like a toddler would need to be reminded.
As quietly as they could, Melody did their business. They realized how little they were feeling when Jane got them off the potty and Melody realized that they hadn’t wiped themself. Having Jane bend them over at the potty and wipe them crashed what was left of Melody’s big-brain.
They stood obediently for Jane to brush their teeth while Briana was on the potty, still holding their robe bunched at their waist. Jane had to take the robe out of their hands so they wouldn’t flash the household on their way to the changing table.
Jane diapered them both in thick diapers which were normally reserved for nighttime, and included a booster pad in each one. Bemused, Melody watched as Jane added layer upon layer of clothing. From inside to out they were dressed in long underwear, thick socks, sweatpants, a shirt, a sweater, snow pants, boots, a puffy coat, and a toque. As Jane was stuffing mittens in their coat pocket, Melody started sweating.
“It’s roasting in all this.” Melody complained.
“You won’t think so when you’re sledding.” Jane said. “Come on now kids, we need to move if we’re going to get a good amount of play time in.”
She took Melody and Briana’s hands and lead them into the living room. Suzie was by the door in her own coat with a carry-on suitcase.
“Where are you going?” Briana asked. She sounded so worried that Melody was immediately on-edge.
“To my mom and dad’s.” Suzie said.
“But, you have to be here for Christmas!” Briana said. She was right on the brink of tears, judging from her tone.
“I will be, I’m in the town’s Christmas play.” Suzie said. “But I have to see my mom and dad at least once on the holidays, right? I’ll be gone less than a week.”
“I guess so.” Briana said, with a slight sniffle.
“Come on sis, that’s fair.” Melody said.
“Sis huh?” Suzie said with a grin. She leaned in to adjust Melody’s hat. “You two are as cute as buttons. Are you the older one, Mello?”
“I uh…” Melody froze. They weren’t supposed to play with Suzie like this, but they couldn’t remember exactly why. “Yeah, Briana’s my littlesister.”
“You don’t have to say it like that!” Briana whined.
“Take care of your sis while I’m gone then, Mello?” Suzie said.
“Okay, but why Mello?” Melody asked.
“I have a cousin named Melody that I call Mello. Is it okay?” Suzie asked.
“I guess so.” Melody squirmed.
“Great!” Suzie hugged them all, including Jane. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to see Veronica. I’m out until Tuesday night.”
“We’ll keep a lamp on for you.” Jane said with a smile. “Say hello to Beth for me.”
“You bet. Mom always asks about you.” Suzie said. “Have fun at the park kids!”
Melody waved hesitantly, in contrast to Briana’s frantic arm-windmilling. The door opened with a blast of cold air. All the extra layers were a good idea, Melody had to admit. Jane packed them into the backseat of her car, which already had a pair of sleds tied to the roof.
“Daddy, is everyone going to be home for Christmas? Is anybody else leaving?” Briana asked plaintively as Jane drove through the lightly falling snow.
“All the roommates will be.” Jane said. “Though I think Casey is going out of town this week too.”
“What about Gary, and Tamira?” Briana asked nervously.
“You’d have to ask them.” Jane said. “You talk to them more than I do.”
“Hey Bri.” Melody said, clasping their sister’s hand. “Want to have a sleepover on Christmas Eve?”
“Really?!” Briana asked. “Can we please, Daddy?”
“It’s okay right – Jane?” Melody said, tripping over the name a little. They’d forgotten for a minute that they didn’t call Jane dad like Briana did.
“I don’t see why not, as long as you kids go to sleep before Saint Nicholas arrives.” Jane said. “Because if you don’t, it will be Krampus who comes instead of Saint Nicholas.”
“No way.” Melody said, giggling. Santa was one thing, they were happy to play along since Briana believed. Jane couldn’t expect them to believe in the weird devil thing from Binding of Isaac and that terrible horror film.
“What’s Krampus?” Briana asked, worriedly.
“He is a hairy devil creature that travels the world with Saint Nicholas. Good children are visited by Santa, as you know. But for the bad children, Krampus goes to the house instead and puts the children in his sack.”
Jane explained it in her same dry tone that she used to talk about the news or what was happening in the house. Melody fidgeted in their seat. None of this was real, right? They were fuzzy on some things at the moment, but they were pretty sure that Santa wasn’t a real thing, so this Krampus couldn’t be either.
“He takes children away!?” Briana said, really scared now.
“Just for a short time. They are spanked by the birch rod that he carries, and then returned to their parents in the morning.” Jane said. “But I’m sure you kids will not have to worry, because you will help clean the house on Heiliger Abend – Christmas Eve, and go to bed when you are told.”
“We will, we will!” Briana said nervously. She grabbed Melody’s hand and squeezed it hard. “Right Melody? You’ll help right?”
The panic in Briana’s eyes further eroded Melody’s confidence that there was no Krampus. Something about all this felt like a weird set-up for a joke, but nobody was treating it like one. Jane still sounded deadly serious.
“Uh, yeah, of course. We’ll clean the whole house. Promise.” Melody said with a nod. Despite their lingering disbelief, making the promise removed the bit of nervousness that had been building in their belly.
“Okay, good!” Briana nodded in relief. “You’ll tell Krampus that there are only good kids at the house, right Daddy?”
“Oh, he is not friendly like Saint Nicholas.” Jane said. “He doesn’t talk to parents. The Krampus can smell if a child is bad or not. Even if they have only done bad things that their parents didn’t see, he is not fooled.”
Briana swallowed hard. “But I’m a good girl, right?”
“You are a very good girl Briana.” Jane said. “You shouldn’t have to worry. You either, Melody, you are a good kid.”
Melody squirmed. “Th-thanks.” They hadn’t been worried about the stupid Krampus anyway, but it was still nice to get a compliment.
When they arrived at the park, Briana and Melody’s mad dash to the snow was delayed a bit by the fact that Jane wouldn’t give them their sleds until they had their mittens on and their coat-hoods tied about their faces.
The snow had been steadily falling all night and morning, leaving most of the park as a pristine wonderland of gentle white slopes. There were a few college students a couple of hills over, but no families out in the middle of a workday.
Briana floundered in the snow a bit. It was knee high on Melody but hitting their little sister at mid-thigh. With a wild whoop, Melody dashed forward, high-stepping through the snow and throwing themself down on their sled.
They made a satisfying ‘poomph!’ sound as they hit the snow and the sled was sliding right away. As they picked up speed, Melody could hear Briana calling for them to wait for her. Their only response was a mad cackle.
It was a good hill. Melody got up to an exciting speed and shot far past the bottom of the hill before their sled finally slowed. They jerked the sled to the side to stop and looked back for Briana. She hadn’t been nearly as brave in launching herself and was coming to a slow stop just past the base of the hill.
Melody heaved themself up and trudged back to Briana with their sled in tow. “Hey sis, you gotta go faster than that!”
“It’s scary!” Briana complained. “Can you push me next time?”
“I can show you how to jump on the sled like I did.” Melody said. “It’s really fun!”
“But what if I miss the sled?” Briana asked nervously.
“Then you’ll fall in the snow – like this!” Melody lunched forward and pushed Briana back into the snow.
“Hey!” Briana yelled indignantly.
Melody’s laughs were cut off by a blast of snow in their face. Just as they were recovering from the first snowball, another one landed on their chin.
“Oh that is IT!” Melody said. “You’re getting it!”
They dived into the snow and wrestled their little sister into submission, pinning her and washing her face with snow. Briana shrieked and thrashed, but had to quickly surrender.
“I give up! You win!” Briana shrieked. “Mel, staaaaahp!
Melody converted their grip on Briana to a hug and pulled their sister close. They giggled in the snow for a bit while they caught their breath.
“That was mean.” Briana accused good-naturedly.
“I’m the older sibling. That’s what you get when you mess with me.” Melody said.
“But I didn’t even do anything.” Briana protested. “You pushed me first.”
“That’s how it goes.” Melody shrugged. “It’s the price of having a big sibling take care of you.”
“You will, right?” Briana asked. “You’ll take care of me?”
“Of course, dummy. I take care of people that are important to me.” Melody squeezed Briana.
“And you won’t leave?” Briana asked softly.
“I might not be in the house every day.” Melody said, thinking of Suzie’s trip. “But you’ll be my little sister forever, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Yeah, that’s it.” Briana said, grabbing Melody and holding them tight.
“Come on, let’s sled some more.” Melody said.
It was a bit of a pain to get up, with all the padding that Jane had put them in. Once they were up though, it didn’t slow Melody down much. They already had to sort of waddle through the deep snow, which left plenty of room for the diaper’s bulk.
Back at the top, Briana insisted on being pushed at the top of the hill. She asked for that three times, until Melody’s excited cackles convinced her to try jumping on her sled. Hilariously, she screamed all the way down. When Melody caught up to Briana at the bottom, her sister had gone full-on goblin laugh.
They took a lot more sled rides that way, trying their best to launch at the same time and race for distance. Melody could get faster momentum, but Briana was so light that her sled shot across the snow.
After being beaten for the third time in a row, Melody decided to switch things up. The next time Briana ran for the hill slope, Melody followed just behind. They threw their sled out on the ground in front of them, took a trio of sprinting steps, and jumped onto it.
For a moment it felt like they were going to pitch over into packed snow that all their previous trips had compressed. They managed to balance at the last minute, and the extra momentum shot them ahead of Briana. Determined to not only win, but to crush their little sister’s record, Melody crouched down low.
The sled whizzed faster and faster, zipping past the fan of packed snow they’d made at the bottom of the hill, and out onto fresh powder. As soon as Melody hit the fresh snow they could feel themselves slowing, but only gradually. Far too gradually, in fact. There was a broad oak tree coming up fast in Melody’s path.
They tried swinging their around clockwise like a snowboarder. Unlike a snowboarder, Melody was not strapped into their sled. All they accomplished with their fancy maneuver was flipping the sled over. Melody and sled tumbled over each other in the snow. The sharp edge of the blue plastic came like a bullet at Melody’s face. They cried out when it cracked across their face and left their nose feeling swollen.
Adding insult to injury, Melody’s tumble carried them onto the light snow that covered the oak tree’s knobby roots. Everything was swirling around in a disorienting mess. Melody cried in pain, flopping themself off the root they’d come to a stop on.
Before they could compose themself, Jane was there. Melody grabbed for Jane, pulling her into a hug. They got a comforting hug back, albeit a brief one. Jane sat Melody up and examined their face, brushing it lightly with a handkerchief before swiping the cloth under their nose. It came back bright red.
“It looks like you have a little bit of a bloody nose.” Jane said. “How do you feel?”
“It hurts, Dad!” Melody complained.
“I bet it does. Here, blow very gently.” Jane replied, putting the handkerchief back under Melody’s nose.
After giving a little blow through their nose, Melody felt a bit better. Leaning against Jane and getting gentle pats on the back was helping even more.
“Better, Didi?” Jane asked.
Briana was approaching slowly, a worried look on her face. Melody decided to be brave for their little sister. They nodded to Jane.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry for scaring everybody.”
“That’s alright, we’re just glad you’re not hurt.” Jane said. “Come on Bumble Bri, Didi, we still have some time left.”
“Why is everyone giving me nicknames today?” Melody asked, struggling to their feet with Jane’s help.
“Because we love you.” Briana said.
“Because sometimes are too cute for a name with three syllables.” Jane said.
“But you call Bri, Bumble Bri, and that’s three syllables.” Melody protested. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“True, it doesn’t.” Jane said, unconcerned. “Pick up your sled, Didi.”
“Okay Dad.” Melody said.
Briana’s eyes got huge, cueing Melody to their mistake. Their second mistake, they realized. They looked at Jane worriedly, but she was unflappable as always. Briana was bouncing on her toes, but she wasn’t saying anything.
Melody grabbed their sled and hurried up the hill as fast as their diaper-waddle would allow. Luckily, everyone seemed to forget their slip of the tongue after a couple more sled rides. Safer sled rides, at Jane’s fatherly insistence.
When Jane declared the outing over and buckled both kids into the back seat again, Melody braced themself for Briana to bring up what they’d called Jane. She didn’t though, being way more focused on Jane’s promise of hot cocoa on the ride home. Jane didn’t say anything either, she just bought them cocoa and coffee for herself.
By the time they were home and being laboriously stripped of their snow gear, Melody was getting frustrated. If somebody could just say something already, then the horrible anticipation could end.
Finally, Melody decided that they’d have to be the one to say something. Briana was out of her snow gear first and had bolted upstairs to get into pajamas. Melody and Jane were alone in Melody’s room. They had their hands on Jane’s shoulders to steady themself as Jane pulled down their long underwear.
“Nobody said anything about uh – what I called you after I crashed.” Melody said.
“You didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about it.” Jane said. “Is there something you need to say?”
“It’s a big deal, isn’t it?” Melody asked, pouting.
“That depends.” Jane said, pulling the long underwear off Melody’s foot and tossing it in the laundry bin. “If it was just a slip of the tongue, that’s okay. If it is some something more, then it is a big deal.”
“But how do you know if we don’t talk about it?” Melody asked. Whined really. They were whining, but it was Jane’s fault. She wasn’t reacting at all how she was supposed to.
“Because I’m already committed to taking care of you.” Jane said, pulling open the front of Melody’s diaper to peek inside. “As long as you call me Dad, I will behave as your father. If I’m not your father, I will still take care of you.”
Melody was upset. It wasn’t supposed to be that simple. They felt hot behind their eyes and their nose felt like the sled had hit it again.
“But, that’s not, you’re not supposed to, that’s…” Melody sputtered, unable to find the words to properly express their outrage. “Dad! You’re doing it wrong!”
Jane chuckled. “That is family, Didi. We will be frustrating sometimes. We will not always be what you expect, but we will always love you.”
Melody bawled. Jane swooped them onto her lap on the bed. It felt almost like being picked up. They clung to Jane with all their strength, desperate to be close. Jane’s arms were warm and solid around them. Melody let themself soak in the steady comfort.
“I have told you already, I am not the one that will talk something to death. That is Veronica.” Jane said fondly. “You are mine Kind. Good enough. Now you need a nap.”
“I don’t need a nap!” Melody whined.
“Doesn’t matter, I’m putting you down for one.” Jane said. She had a way of making her statements seem like irrefutable facts. It sucked the wind out of Melody’s sails, but they still didn’t like the idea of being put to bed.
“I don’t want a nap.” Melody said. “At least – not alone.”
“Briana’s crib is a little too small for two.” Jane said. “If I set the playpen up in her room, would that be acceptable?”
“Yes.” Melody said, their voice muffled by Jane’s shoulder. “Thanks Dad.”
“Gerne geschehen.” Jane said.
When Jane tucked Melody into the playpen with their overjoyed sister, they realized they were sore in muscles they didn’t know they had. Despite her excitement, Briana was used to having a naptime and was already drifting off. It’d be boring to just lie in the playpen on their own, Melody reasoned. The smart thing to do would be to just nap a little.
Melody woke refreshed. Shortly after they got a lesson in their sister’s hypocrisy. The little girl that had been so upset when Suzie was at the door with a bag was gallivanting off to spend the evening with Gary.
It was fine, of course. Melody wasn’t super clingy like their little sister. Plus, it gave them time for a quiet evening with just Mom and Dad in the house. Being treated as a kid by both of them was blissful. For precious hours, Melody forgot about Rosa, Beatrix, and all the heavy feelings in their heart.