After lunch, Zoe looked like she was ready for the naptime that Roman announced. Esmie was less excited about it. Still, she dutifully crawled onto the blankets on the fenced area of the living room when asked. Zoe was already burrowed under the covers when Roman put a stuffed bear next to her. She nodded her thanks in a sleepy tone.
Esmie was surprised to see Roman giving her an expectant look. He had something behind his back. She was feeling the mindset of the game but wasn’t so far gone that she couldn’t guess that he was holding a second bear.
“I have a present for you.” Roman said, with a confusing amount of anticipatory excitement.
“Thank you, Papa.” Esmie said neutrally. She’d never been good at faking enthusiasm and was lucky in Roman that he didn’t expect it of her.
“Here you go.” Roman handed her a paper gift bag. He was still really excited.
Curious now, Esmie opened the bag and looked inside. She nearly dropped it, putting a hand to her mouth to cover a gasp. Inside was her old stuffed rabbit! No, it wasn’t quite, but it could have been her sister. It was brand new, for one thing. It had the same rustic European style of an adorably proper rabbit girl that her stuffed animal had had, however. From the delicately sewn ears, to the minimalist face, to the little checked dress sewn on, she was almost the same.
“C’est exactement comme mon vieux lapine, Sophie! Où l’as tu trouvé?” Esmie asked, completely forgetting English for a moment.
“I had it made from how you described your old bunny.” Roman said, grinning from ear to ear. “I see that she’s a hit.”
“I love her!” Esmie said, pulling the rabbit out and holding her close. “It is like Sophie has come back to me.”
Roman patted Esmie on the head. It solidified the swirling feelings in her heart to comfort and smallness. She looked up at him in rapt adoration, sighing happily.
“What are you going to call her?” Roman asked.
“Papa,” Esmie said very seriously. “This is Sophie. Sophie, say hi to Papa.” She helped Sophie wave her simple tube-shaped arm at Roman.
“Good to meet you, Sophie.” Roman said. “I have some meetings and work that needs to be concentrated on, will you be alright during your nap?”
Esmie nodded, squishing her slightly damp diaper under her. Now that she’d used them a couple of times, she could tell they could hold quite a bit of liquid. There wasn’t any need for a change, not while the feeling was still squishy and sexy.
“Good girl.” Roman gently pushed Esmie onto her back and tucked her under a blanket.
Warmth spread out from Esmie’s heart. She clutched Sophie to her chest. It was so much like being a little girl in her family’s home that she even felt the urge to suck on her thumb. After a moment’s hesitation, she let herself do it. Zoe was already snoring softly, so there was no one but Sophie to see.
It wasn’t sleep, exactly, but the feeling during nap time wasn’t like being awake either. In a dozy, dazy haze, Esmie relived faded memories of playing with the original Sophie. They’d gone everywhere together for a while, from the bakery down the street, to her friend’s houses, and even to mass.
Esmie smiled to herself as she remembered her mother despairing of cleaning the rabbit of the constant dirt they got into in the garden. In no time at all, Sophie’s off-white cotton had become a speckled tan color. She would take better care of this Sophie and keep her out of the mud.
In a magical moment, it was as if Sophie responded. The little rabbit was grateful for the care, Esmie realized, but she hoped they could still play outside.
“Bien sûr on peut.” Esmie whispered, assuring Sophie that of course, they would go outside.
Sophie spoke French, of course. In fact, she didn’t speak English. That is why Papa hadn’t known her name even though he had brought her to the house. In soft French, she explained to Sophie what a nice man Papa was. It was a little more difficult to explain the situation with Zoe and Caleb. French was a little lacking in words to describe a polycule, but Sophie was a smart rabbit and she understood quickly.
As she was giving Sophie her first English lesson, Esmie felt pressured in her bladder. Such a simple thing had been elevated by their game into something that demanded attention and decisions. This time the decision was easy. Esmie relaxed, managing to wet herself after a few false starts. The warm, wet feeling made her tingle. More than that, it made the dozy feeling heavier.
English class was postponed, Esmie’s mouth was busy with her thumb again. Having a thumb in her mouth felt less like a desire and more like an actual need. She would chuckle about it later, but in the moment, she didn’t remember the pacifier clipped to her dress at all.
After wetting a second time, curled up on her side, Esmie’s diaper was feeling a little lopsided. It had bulked up a bit more than the first ‘accident’ had managed. Even so, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Even as the diaper cooled off, she stayed warm under the blankets. The squish around her hips was a primal, comforting feeling. Even the sexiness of being wet had faded, though she was sure that would come back if she was in one of her lovers’ arms.
Giggling around her thumb, Esmie thought about how silly all the sex stuff was. It was so gross and funny with the climbing all over each other, the grunting and moaning. She was excited to try it, hopefully in a big pile of all four of the polycule. They rarely did that, because of how silly things got. Esmie realized now what a mistake that was. Silly was the whole reason to do it!
Wrapped up in fuzzy thoughts and tingly feelings, Esmie felt her words slip away. When nap time was over, Roman and Zoe both tried to talk to her. She could understand them, but it was like they were speaking while she was at the bottom of a pool. It was taking a long time to formulate responses in French – English was a lost cause.
After a couple of attempts, Roman left her to play with Sophie, and allowed Zoe to watch some videos on his phone. Esmie vaguely heard something about Zoe being asked to look after her. That felt good. The feeling of safety let her zone in on playing with Sophie. Esmie helped Sophie translate French nursery rhymes to English, and Sophie in return caught Esmie up on the latest rabbit warren gossip.
At some point in the afternoon, Esmie felt pressure again. It was confusing for a moment, until she realized it wasn’t her bladder. That brought their game back into her mind, pushing back the little-thoughts. Esmie considered actually using her diaper in full. It was a strange thought, straddling the boundary between big mind and little.
On the one hand, it would certainly be convenient, she wouldn’t have to stop playing, or figure out what to do. That little-side thought generated a lot of anxiety from the bigger thoughts. That she’d even considered it out of convenience felt weird. On top of that, she had no idea how her papa and Zoe would react. They could be disgusted by her diaper. Worse, they could be upset at her for throwing something extreme into the game.
The possibility of upsetting Papa and Zoe convinced little-brain that it was a bad idea. United in mind, Esmie looked around. Zoe was engrossed in her video. She also wasn’t the person that was supposed to deal with the situation. It surprised Esmie to realize that she was glad for the infantilizing rule of having to ask for help with the bathroom. In her current state, it would feel too strange to just get up and walk out of the play area.
Not feeling nearly as little after all that big-style processing, Esmie got to her feet instead of crawling. There wasn’t a rule for crawling – she was suddenly nervous about pushing any boundaries on her own.
A light tug on Papa’s sleeve got his attention. She even had the presence of mind to check that he wasn’t on a call before asking, “Papa? I need to use the toilet.”
Roman smiled. “Alright.”
He took Esmie’s hand. She gripped it tightly enough to surprise them both on the way to the restroom. Exiting the play-area was disorienting. Abruptly, the baby decorations were gone. She was back in her own house. Except instead of being a confidant, beautiful house-submissive, she was in a little girl’s dress and a wet diaper.
The discomfort got worse when Roman had her hold her skirt and removed her wet diaper. She sat on the toilet, already making a mess of the seat with her damp bottom, and clutched Sophie for dear life. She wasn’t embarrassed. With just one bathroom in the house, it wasn’t the first time she and Roman had seen the other on the toilet. It wasn’t usual either, though.
This time, instead of the usual banter of jokes and apologies for the intrusion, Roman was watching her like an authority figure while she did her business. When she was done, he asked her if she needed help cleaning up. It was the right thing for him to ask, gauging her comfort level with what was happening. Unfortunately, it only highlighted the conflict between the game and regular life for Esmie.
She felt herself lock up, trembling on the toilet, clutching Sophie and blinking away tears. Her breath came in short gasps. Esmie didn’t feel like she was getting enough air, but she couldn’t make herself breathe deeply.
“Esmie, are you alright?” Roman crouched down, stroking her hair. “Can you talk? Pouvez vous parler?”
“Non.” Esmie said, swallowing around a lump in her throat. “et oui.”
“Can you tell me what’s the matter? Do you need to take a break?” Roman asked. He was already holding her, which eased the pressure in her chest and throat considerably.
Esmie didn’t know if she needed to take a break. She knew she didn’t want to, which wasn’t the same thing. Most of all she was afraid. Something fundamental in her house and her relationship was changing, and she didn’t know what to do about it.
It wasn’t that she didn’t like the game. She loved it, actually. But there was no map for how the game was going to enter their lives. There never was, of course. Even basic submission had once been emotionally fraught. Esmie realized that she wanted to be Roman’s little, but she couldn’t figure out how to do that without losing what she already was to him. Without giving up what he was now, to her.
That was all too much to say on lungs that were still short of breath. She rejected translating her thoughts to English right away as well. The best she could do was to explain her last thought a little, in her native language.
“Je le veux beaucoup, mais j’ai peur de perdre ce que nous avons.” Esmie said.
“Est-ce lié à votre désir d’avoir une zone désignée pour le jeu?” Roman asked.
He’d taken a few moments to craft that sentence. His French was not as good as her English, though he was working on improving. It was such a relief to have him understand her right away, even connecting her distress to leaving the starkly-defined play area she’d set up last night.
“Yes.” Esmie said, coming back to herself enough to go back to English. “I don’t know how to cross over. I love what we are doing, but I love also what we had before.”
“Would it make more sense to define the game not in space, but in time?” Roman asked. “I could put everything away at the end of the day.”
Esmie considered. Roman’s suggestion made a lot of sense. Especially since the game wasn’t confined to their house but would be happening at Caleb and Zoe’s as well. He’d also hinted that they might go out while playing at some point, and that would further complicate things.
Esmie nodded. “Yes, it is a good idea. Also, you don’t have to completely put things away. Maybe we could just stack everything neatly in the nap area.”
“That’s fine with me.” Roman said, stroking her cheek. “Feeling better? You have your color back.”
Esmie nodded. The tension was fading. Along with the re-orientation of the game as a period of time came the realization that they should be playing again. That was a happy thing! Not just because she was excited to play, but because it helped erase the bad feeling from the bathroom. Now it wasn’t that the game had invaded her bathroom, rather the whole world was in game-mode at the moment, including the bathroom.
“Yes Papa!” Esmie said enthusiastically. “Can you clean me up?”
Despite her joy at finding terms that would let her get back into the game without anxiety, Esmie wasn’t feeling little again yet. She watched Roman carefully, curious to see how he felt about approaching something that had always been a boundary for them before.
He was a bit hesitant as he helped Esmie to her feet. There was definite tension on Roman’s face as he reached for the wipes and cleaned her rear. Though he seemed to be managing it, Esmie needed to be sure.
“Are you alright?” She asked gently, leaning against Roman. “This is something you suggested, but now that we do it, is it still good?”
Roman chuckled, wrapping his arms around Esmie for a gentle hug. “Thank you, love. I was a little worried, but it is alright.”
“What gave you worry?” Esmie asked.
“I don’t want to be grossed out by something we do. It wasn’t like that though. I feel closer to you now.”
Esmie sighed and nodded. “I’m glad.”
“Everything okay?” Zoe asked when they returned to the living room.
“Oui.” Esmie smiled at her ever-perceptive girlfriend. “I am ready to play again.”
“Not until we get you into a fresh diaper you’re not.” Roman said, carrying the word play back into the context of the game. “You were soaked.”
Esmie giggled. A welcome bit of little-feeling crept back in. The transition made it especially funny when Zoe blushed. She was obviously holding her own pee, making herself needlessly uncomfortable. What a silly girlfriend.
“Papa, you should check Zoe’s diaper too.” Esmie said as Roman laid her down on the changing blanket.
“Oh?” Roman asked. “Do you need a change too, Zoe?”
“No. I’m holding it fine.” Zoe said, squirming.
“Is that so?” Roman asked. “Well, if you can hold it a little longer, I can take you to the bathroom when I’m done changing Esmie.”
“Really?” Zoe asked, obviously blindsided by being relieved of having to use her diaper.
“Really!” Roman said, in an excited teacher-tone. “I’m really proud of you that you’re able to hold it. We can work on your potty-training – you can show Esmie how it’s done.”
Zoe’s face went tomato-red. Esmie giggled. Papa had found something that went straight to their girlfriend’s embarrassment button. She was so embarrassed she was even speechless. Zoe was quiet for Esmie’s entire diapering, in fact.
Rolling the implications of this new wrinkle in her mind, Esmie lifted her hips at Roman’s direction. The soft padding under her was already a welcome feeling. She relaxed as Roman finished cleaning her and applied a little powder. Getting her diaper taped up snugly was an uncomplicated bit of joy.
At Roman’s insistence, she followed him and an increasingly bashful Zoe back to the bathroom. Despite Zoe’s strained expression and potty-dance, Roman took his time unbuttoning her shorts and taking them down. He wasn’t any faster sliding her diaper down either, even pausing a moment before he let her sit on the toilet. Zoe’s gasp of relief when she finally sat and released made Roman and Esmie both laugh.
“Good girl!” Roman said effusively. “I’m so proud of you for using the potty!”
“Congratulations Zoe!” Esmie said, clapping.
Zoe had her face in her hands, quivering in embarrassment. Esmie knew her girlfriend well enough to know she was trembling with desire as well. It was time to drive the knife in a little further.
“How does potty training work, Papa?” Esmie asked. She sank down to her diapered butt on the floor, feeling her thoughts sink down little-ish at the same time.
“I’m glad you asked.” Roman said. “I’ll set an alarm to take Zoe to the bathroom. I’ll only be able to do it a few times a day, since I’m working of course. If she’s dry when the alarm goes off, I’ll take her to the potty, and she’ll get a treat.”
“Oh!” Esmie said, suddenly conflicted. She was having a great time with diapers, but she didn’t want to miss out on treats.
“How often?” Zoe asked from behind her hands.
“Oh, for sure once in the morning and once in the afternoon.” Roman said. “That should be plenty for a big girl, right?”
“Yes Mr. Zabolotski.” Zoe said in a strained voice.
“Up you go, Zoe!” Roman said, standing her up and wiping her crotch down.
It was a very horny looking Zoe that had her diaper and shorts pulled back up. Esmie grinned as innocently as she could manage before chiming in again.
“What if she’s wet when the alarm goes off?”
“No treat then, of course.” Roman said. “Plus, a girl who’s working on potty training should at least know when she’s had an accident. If you have an accident you have to tell us right away Zoe, and make sure to speak up. Otherwise, you’re in trouble.”
“I’m glad I’m not potty training.” Esmie said wickedly.
Zoe blinked and bit her lip. Esmie grinned at the trap Roman had put her girlfriend in. On one hand, she’d be embarrassed to be potty trained. On the other, she’d have to admit she wet herself or get a punishment. Esmie was looking forward to getting jumped by a confused, horny girlfriend once this addition to the game ramped up.
“Wh-what about Esmie?” Zoe asked.
“Hmm, that’s true, she’s a very little girl.” Roman said. “She’s not ready for potty training, but I can’t really leave her alone for so many trips to the potty with you.”
“I can just come with.” Esmie said, confused at where Roman was going with this.
“No, a baby and a little girl is a lot to manage.” Roman said with mock-gravitas. “I think I’ll just swaddle you in a blanket so you can’t get into trouble while I’m with Zoe.”
Esmie blinked. He was almost certainly talking about the restraining blanket they had in the bedroom. It was Esmie’s turn to blush. That blanket was almost as much fun as the straitjacket, and it’d go on a lot faster.
Zoe grinned viciously. “That should keep her safe.”
Mon Dieu, Esmie thought. This game is getting really hot. The boys needed to be careful, or Esmie and Zoe were going to wear themselves out on each other and leave nothing for the boyfriends. Though they could just go at each other after work. Kind of like husbands or fathers, with their little girls playing. Esmie bit back a moan at the thought. Hopefully the next bit of the game would leave her and Zoe some time to work off the way they’d been worked up!