((Content warning: Self Harm, descriptions of depression))
Monday morning came on unbearably hard. Melody looked out at the snow dumping out of the sky and piling on the lawn. It would be absolute heaven to get a fresh diaper, a snowsuit and go out in the fluffy white with Briana.
They checked their phone for the tenth time. School wasn’t cancelled. In fact, the administration had issued a statement that the roads were freshly plowed and that all classes were to go ahead. Melody’s last hope was that one or all of their professors would cancel, but no luck there either.
“Good morning, Melody.” Veronica said. She’d let herself in to Melody’s room and took a seat on the edge of the bed.
“Oh uh, hi.” Melody turned away from the window. “Don’t I usually go to you for the morning thing?”
“No, lately you don’t.” Veronica said primly.
Melody looked away guiltily. “Uh, sorry.”
“I’m not here to push blame on you, but we are going to be honest. Now, while I get you changed and ready for the day, we have to talk about at least one thing going on in your life.” Veronica said.
“Please don’t make me.” Melody whimpered. They were tearing up again. They hated that they were crying so much lately.
“It doesn’t have to be about Rosa or Beatrix.” Veronica said. “Though I would be happy to talk about them. It just has to be something about how you’re feeling.”
Melody sighed. They nodded slowly. “I guess I have some questions about the way I’ve been acting this weekend. Little, but it feels like more than a game this time.”
Veronica whisked the covers off of Melody and scooted them onto a changing blanket. The room was a little chilly, especially when Veronica took their pajama pants down.
“You’ve been wearing diapers for a while, even when I wasn’t directly enforcing it. It sounds like you had some little-space experiences recently, though you haven’t told me about those yet.” Veronica said kindly. She wasn’t making eye-contact, focusing instead on getting Melody out of their diaper and wiping them clean.
“Oh right. Uh, I did it once with Tamira. A couple of times with Rosa. It was uh…” Melody whimpered. “You said we didn’t have to talk about Rosa.”
“We don’t have to. It might help you to, though. Especially if it’s about the good experiences you had.” Veronica said, getting a fresh diaper under Melody.
“That’s the problem though.” Melody said dully. “Those are gone now. She broke up with me.”
Saying it out loud was a fresh stab to the barely healed wound. Melody trembled, feeling dizzy and sick.
“I’m so sorry to hear that. I think she was very good for you. You two looked happy together.” Veronica said.
“We were.” Melody said softly.
“Let’s take a step back to what you were saying earlier.” Veronica said, tenderly patting baby powder onto Melody’s skin. “You said you had more than one little space experience with Rosa.”
“Yeah.” Melody said with a heavy sigh. It was painful to think about, but nothing compared to remembering their breakup. “It felt so good. I was really safe with her. It was nothing like the diaper stuff I did with Bea. It was perfect.”
“Did allowing yourself to be little help you feel safe here with us?” Veronica asked. She patted the tapes on Melody’s diaper, checking that the fit was snug. “Did it recapture some of that feeling?”
“I think so.” Melody said. “Especially playing with Briana. I really appreciate you and Jane taking care of me.”
“That’s part of our solution to your hurt, then.” Veronica said. “I’d be the last person to tell you to repress and forget a trauma. At the same time, you don’t have to examine it when it’s fresh and painful. Take a few days to recover with your support network. When you feel stronger, we’ll look at what caused this.”
“I was doing that.” Melody said. They wanted to roll over and snuggle up to Veronica. Today had to be an adult day, so they couldn’t. “Now I have to go back to school and work and face everything.”
“You do.” Veronica said, her tone kind but direct. “When you come home, you’ll be supported again. I will take some of the logistic worries away for you, tracking what you need to do and when. As soon as your work and homework are done, you can be little again.”
“Like a secret identity.” Melody said. They looked up to see confusion on Veronica’s face. “You know, superheroes.”
“I don’t know a lot about comics.” Veronica said, like there weren’t also dozens of movies in a multibillion-dollar genre of movies with superheroes in them.
“But I imagine it would be exhausting to be someone like Superman. To be seen all the time as a literal savior and demigod. I’m sure someone like that would find a Clark Kent persona to be relaxing. To be someone who is only expected to write an article, not save the world.”
“You’re saying that when I’m done with my work all I have to do is…”
“Is play nicely with your sister and listen to your caregivers.” Veronica said.
“That could be good.” Melody said. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. That wasn’t terrible, was it?”
“It wasn’t fun.” Melody said. “I feel better now, though.”
“That’s how therapy often goes. Alright, out of bed with you. I got you showered last night but we still need to get your teeth brushed and clothes on.” Veronica said.
Ready for school way earlier than normal, Melody decided to eat breakfast up in Briana’s room. They found their sister snuggled under a pile of blankets with a cup of hot chocolate, staring out at the snow in wonder.
“Melody!” Briana said brightly. “It’s snowing so much!”
Melody chuckled. “You going to go out and play in it today?”
“Yeah! Can you play with me?” Briana asked. “After school maybe?”
“Sorry sis.” Melody said. “I’ve got homework and regular work.”
“Aww. Well, I’ll make a snow they/them just for you.” Briana said brightly.
“Hah, a SnowEnby.” Melody munched on the unadorned blueberry toaster waffles she’d brought. “Thanks for the save yesterday.”
“I’m glad I could do it!” Briana said. “I wish I could do it alla-time, but it’s so hard to be big. Are you going to be okay today, not being little?”
“I have to be.” Melody shrugged. “But Veronica said I could be little when all my stuff is done. So, it’s kind of like being little is my secret identity.”
“Ooh, like a superhero!” Briana said. Melody was glad to see that their sister wasn’t as uncultured as Veronica.
“Yeah, pretty much. I do all the important stuff and then I get to hide away as someone else.”
“That’s what I want to do. But I feel like this is me. The little Briana is the real Briana. Being Big Briana yesterday felt like playing pretend.”
“That just makes you Shazam!” Melody said with a shrug.
“Huh?” Briana asked. “I don’t know that one.”
“Oh man, I really have to start showing you the Historical Documents.” Melody said. Briana gave them another blank look. Melody facepalmed.
“You haven’t seen GALAXY QUEST?” Melody shook their head. “It’s worse than I thought. Anyway, first things first. Shazam is a hero who’s a little boy, but he can turn into a powerful adult hero when he says Shazam!”
Briana stared at Melody in wonder. She leapt out of bed, splashing her cocoa across the rug. “Melody you’re a genius!”
“Heh, thanks.” Melody said. They braced themself for impact, putting their free hand around Briana after she crashed in for a hug.
“You really are, you know that right?” Briana said, half muffled by Melody’s shirt. “Your computer stuff is super impressive. I heard Mom talking about it. She said the Dean of Computer Science was talking about you.”
“Uh yeah, I’m pretty good at that kind of stuff.” Melody said. “I’m still not clear on how knowing about Shazam! makes me a genius though.”
“I think I really can do that.” Briana said, hopping back. “I can put on Big Briana if I know it’s just for a while. It’s trying to be Big Briana inside that makes it hard. If it’s just like transforming into a Knight of Cloudland, then it’s okay!”
“Huh, I guess if that works for you, I like it.” Melody said. “Uh, you realize you spilled your hot chocolate, right?”
“I did?” Briana looked behind her. “Oh no! Mom’s gonna be mad, and I’ll lose Santa Points!”
“Santa Points?” Melody asked. “Actually, never mind that right now. I’ll help you clean it up, okay?”
“Really?” Briana asked gratefully.
“Anything for my little sister.” Melody said.
Leaving Briana behind and going to school was a nightmare. Melody was sure their face was either Sad Meme Cat or Hide the Pain Harold all day. It wasn’t their long day, at least. Most of the day on Mondays could be spent hiding in an undergraduate lab, running unit tests on their thesis project.
It was looking like there were only thirty more minutes of work, when the computer lab suddenly got very loud. Melody looked up in confusion at the cacophony of coughs, muttering, and exclamations. With all the undergrad boys looking the same direction, it was easy to spot the source. Beatrix had made an entrance.
She was wearing a vee-necked, backless romper like she was Emma Frost, and the cold couldn’t touch her. Didn’t she realize that the undergrad labs were full of some for-real awkward nerds? Now the animals were spooked.
Beatrix spotted Melody and strode toward her. One of the bolder undergrads slid his chair out and tried his luck with a “Hey beautiful.”
“Not on your best day.” Beatrix said coldly. “or on my worst.”
Bea stepped around the guy like he was a bug.
“Melody. We have to talk.” Beatrix announced.
Things were getting weirder and weirder with Beatrix. That had almost sounded like a request. Melody nodded a little.
“Uh, okay. I just have to finish up here. We can meet in like thirty…” Melody blinked in surprise as Beatrix pulled the power cord out of the back of their computer tower.
“We can talk now.” Beatrix said. That was more like the Bea that Melody knew. At least their work had autosaved.
“Uh, fine.” They said.
Melody picked up their bag and shuffled out of the lab behind Beatrix. Nothing to make a bad day worse like having an entire computer lab stare at them. Melody was going to have to find a new lab to be incognito in. If they came back, at least one of those guys was going to start a conversation by saying, “I’m just curious…”
Beatrix lead Melody to another office under renovation, unlocking it with her construction key.
“How did you even get that key?” Melody asked.
“I stole it off some idiot’s tool cart.” Beatrix said, rolling her eyes like it should have been obvious. “It’s handy to be able to get into a private space whenever you want.”
“Okay, kind of weird, but not a sin.” Melody said. “What do you want to talk about?”
Beatrix sat on the desk that had been pushed up against the bookshelves. The opposite wall was all torn up. It looked like some shelves had come off that wall, but nothing had been re-plastered yet.
“I was a little freaked out the other day.” Beatrix said. “I lost my cool. Not my fault, I was under a lot of stress. Plus, you caught me off guard.”
“Um…” Melody felt pressure building on their chest. That day was the last day they wanted to talk about.
“Doesn’t matter, that shit’s behind us now.” Beatrix said. “You were out of line, but you were right about one thing. I’m attracted to you.”
Melody chewed their lip. What even was going on? Was Beatrix trying to have a relationship discussion with them? Did she not realize what she’d done, was still doing to Melody?
“Nothing to say?” Beatrix asked in irritation. “I know you think I’m hot. After undergrad, you stayed in touch because you wanted to touch me.”
“Uh yeah, that’s true.” Melody blushed.
“Well now you can, but we have to get a couple of things straight.” Beatrix said.
“We’re not going to get anything straight if this ends in us making out.” Melody said with smirk.
“Oh god, lesbian jokes.” Beatrix shook her head. “Focus Mel! I’m attracted to you, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with that, Melody thought.
“But you’re the submissive one!” Beatrix said sharply. “Okay? There’s nothing wrong with me being hot for you, as long as you’re the bitch.”
“Uh Bea that’s not really…”
“Hush!” Beatrix commanded. “You win, okay? You get all this.”
Melody stared at Bea in confusion. Is this what it would be like to date her? The whole conversation was rough, angry, with hidden mines scattered through it.
“You still don’t understand? Well, it’s cute that you need permission anyway.” Beatrix said. “Melody. Come here and kiss me. Now.”
Melody swallowed hard. They didn’t want to. Except they did want to. It wouldn’t really be cheating anymore, would it? Beatrix would get nicer as time went on, surely. This was just the start of – something. The start of something that wasn’t alone.
Melody walked forward tentatively. Beatrix kept her eyes on them the whole way, enchantingly focused on them. By the time Melody reached Bea, their heart was pounding. She smelled so good. She looked amazing.
The kiss felt like a first kiss. It was gentle, exploratory. Beatrix held Melody’s head like a lover, not an attacker. By the third kiss, Beatrix had gently moved Melody’s hands to her chest. Shortly after she had her hands down the back of Melody’s pants.
“You’re still wearing diapers?” Beatrix whispered in Melody’s ear. “Do you know how hot it is that you’re so obedient?”
Melody shivered and moaned. They wasn’t wearing them for Bea, but that wasn’t a fact that needed explaining right now.
“You don’t have to be a diaper dolly anymore.” Beatrix whispered lustily. “But if you like to play pretend you can be my puppy, or my pony, or my toy.”
Melody gasped and kissed Beatrix harder, biting Bea’s lip gently. They got a bite back in return, forcing another moan out of Melody.
“Get me off, toy.” Beatrix said, shedding her romper from her shoulders, and pushing Melody’s hands downward. “You haven’t earned a reward from me yet, but if you make this good for me, I’ll make you come later this week. In my bed.”
“Oh god.” Melody said hoarsely.
Beatrix was warm, soft, and wet under Melody’s hands. Her moans were needy and ecstatic in Melody’s ear. Between moans, Bea gave specific orders, teaching Melody how to please her. It wasn’t long before Beatrix shuddered and pressed against Melody. They were hot with desire too, panting into Beatrix’s neck.
“Oh fuck, I needed that.” Beatrix said, taking a deep breath. “Isn’t that funny, Mel? All those useless, stupid fucking guys, and what I needed was you.”
“You need me?” Melody asked, their voice cracking.
“I guess I do.” Beatrix put Melody’s wet fingers to their lips. “Smart, obedient, and actually kind of – handsome?”
Melody whimpered and licked their fingers clean. A couple of tears sprang into their eyes. That was Rosa’s word. It wasn’t right to hear it from Beatrix. None of this was right. It felt good across their skin, in their brain, and especially between their legs. In their heart it felt like a lump of ice.
“Yeah, this can work.” Beatrix said languidly. “Come over to my house this weekend. I’ll let you touch me, I’ll make you beg, and when you’ve earned it, I’ll make you scream my name.”
Melody swallowed around a hard lump in their throat. They couldn’t find the words to respond. They’d never wanted and not wanted something so intensely at the same time.
“I’ll tell you what day and time.” Beatrix said. When Melody still didn’t respond, she laughed. “I like you all quiet and attentive.”
Beatrix kissed Melody gently. She shrugged herself back into her romper and hopped off the desk. “I know you get turned on by the diapers, but I’m over them. I can find another way to humiliate you if you need that. Don’t wear them when you come over to my place, okay? I’ll let you wear them around school if you really want to.”
“Beatrix.” Melody said huskily. Bea had been right, they needed to talk. So far it had only been Bea talking. Melody hesitated while they tried to find the words they needed, and the courage to say them.
“I know, I box-blocked you.” Beatrix chuckled. “That’s what you get for doing it to me last week. If you’re really good tomorrow, I’ll do something for you. Plus, we have the weekend.”
“But I…” Melody tried again.
“That’s how it should be. With you begging.” Beatrix said in satisfaction. “See you tomorrow, Mel.”
Bea collected her bag and her coat, stepping out of the room without a look back.
Melody sank to the floor of the office and sobbed. Making plans with Beatrix felt like burying their relationship with Rosa for real. Could they ever go back to Rosa if they spent the night with Beatrix?
That was assuming that they could go back to Rosa at all. Even if Melody broke away from Beatrix totally, was the thing with Rosa fixable? Melody punched the desk, welcoming the pain in their knuckles. It was hard to imagine a return to being Rosa’s little one with the hurt that sat between them now.
Beatrix wanted them. Really wanted them. Had even tried to be nice. Honestly, had been as nice as Melody had ever seen Beatrix. Maybe Melody could fix her. Bea had some weird stuff around emotions, but Melody wasn’t the most neurotypical bear in the woods either. They could help Bea be better, at least with their relationship.
“Our relationship.” Melody said softly.
Beatrix was their girlfriend, for real. That hurt again, it pushed Rosa further away. It made Melody’s nerves dance in delight too. There was too much confusion. Too many conflicting chemicals in Melody’s brain. They felt like they were going to throw up again.
Melody’s gaze fell on a utility knife that had been left on the floor of the office. Without thinking, just needing, they picked it up. The blade flicked out, shiny and new.
For a long time, Melody stared at the razor blade. Their breathing became loud and labored. Melody’s lips were trembling, but their hands were steady.
In a sudden flash of emotional anguish, Melody yanked their sleeve up and drew the blade down the back of their upper arm. The pain was bright and strong. It pushed all the horrible thoughts away to the edges of Melody’s mind.
Gritting their teeth, Melody pressed a tissue to the cut. It stung and throbbed. Good, they thought. A few minutes later the cut had stopped bleeding. Melody’s thoughts were back to being flat and sad.
It was nice to have a reprieve from the turmoil. Melody tucked the utility knife down into the very bottom of their bag. It was time to go home, do some work, and escape into being a baby.
That night, Melody was relieved to see that their bet had paid off. Veronica didn’t spot the cut on their arm. It was just like high school; except they were hiding the cuts from someone who saw a lot more of their skin. That made it harder. At least being babied in the evening meant there was a different way to make the swirling thoughts go away.
The next day Melody felt like they were in a dream. Everything outside the house felt unreal. It was almost like they were watching themselves make out with Beatrix instead of actually doing it. Beatrix made a Friday date with Melody. They managed to not think about what that meant, with help from their new knife.
It was a relief to get home. Melody found Veronica in the living room and knelt down next to her, putting their head on her leg.
“Well, hello there.” Veronica said, stroking Melody’s hair. “Somebody needs attention.”
“Can I be little, please?” Melody asked.
“Did your clients agree to push those last two projects back to the New Year?” Veronica asked.
“Yes.” Melody said.
“And you finished all the unit tests that Dr. Sorenson was asking for?”
“Yeah, all done. They’re way faster to do on the school’s network.”
“Then you’re all ready to be little.” Veronica said, putting away her book. “Let’s start with a bath.”
“Do I have to?” Melody asked, unconsciously touching the arm they’d marked.
“Yes.” Veronica said. “You managed to worm you way out of one yesterday and you didn’t shower this morning. There won’t be any stinky babies on my watch.”
Melody followed Veronica to the bathroom nervously. They managed to pass inspection when Veronica stripped them down. Sinking into the tub, Melody let themself relax a little. Being bathed by Veronica was one of their favorite things. It was the first caregiver thing she’d done for them.
As Veronica scrubbed their hair and rinsed it, Melody let the gross thoughts of the day melt away. In a few minutes they’d be safely diapered and dressed in some kind of fun pajamas. They could hang out with their sister until bedtime, when sleep would shut down all thinking until morning.
“No falling asleep in the tub, little one.” Veronica said, her hand closing around Melody’s upper arm.
Melody yelped. As soon as they did it, they realized their mistake. It was too late, Veronica already had their arm in hand, inspecting it.
“I’m sorry hon, do you have a bruise or…” Veronica trailed off when she saw the three parallel cuts on the back of Melody’s arm.
Melody snatched their arm back and put their hand over the cuts. “It’s just a scratch.”
“Is that what it is?” Veronica asked heatedly. “Just three parallel scratches, one of which was obviously done on a different day than the others?”
“Yeah, that’s it.” Melody said sullenly.
“Get out of the tub, little one.” Veronica said tersely.
Melody sighed and heaved themself up. They stood on the bath rug, water pouring off of them.
“Over my knee.” Veronica said, pulling out a chair and taking a seat.
“I’m soaking.” Melody protested at the absurdity of it. “You’ll get wet.”
“That’s not a concern right now. You get over my lap right now, unless you want to be grounded from playing video games with Briana, until Christmas.”
Melody was caught off guard by how serious that threat felt. Gingerly, they lowered themself over Veronica’s lap. Her forearm pinned Melody’s lower back like a vice. They winced, tensing their rear.
“I want to be completely clear about this.” Veronica said. “I am not spanking you for cutting yourself. That’s a separate issue to deal with, but it doesn’t merit punishment. I am spanking you for lying to me.”
“It’s none of your business.” Melody said in a surly tone. “It’s private.”
SMACK! Veronica’s hand came down hard on Melody’s wet rear. They gasped and blushed at the sudden pain and embarrassment.
“None of my business?” Veronica asked, spanking Melody again. “Are you trying to push me away, Melody? Is that what you want to do?”
“Ow!” Melody cried. “It helps me! I’ve done it before. It’s fine!”
Four more smacks came down on Melody’s rear. Veronica was either spanking harder or the fact that their butt was wet was making it worse. Possibly both.
“Melody, if you’ve done this kind of self-harm before, then you know it doesn’t help. Not past the moment.” Veronica landed several more swats on Melody’s rear. “It’s dangerous and it leads down a very bad road.”
“I don’t care!” Melody wailed.
“Little one,” Veronica said. “You are going to get the most though spanking I’ve given you yet. Then you’re going right down to baby treatment, and we’re going to get to the bottom of this.”
“Don’t wanna.” Melody said. “Can’t make me.”
“I can do anything if it saves you.” Veronica said.
The spanking that followed seemed like it would never end. Melody went from yelping, to crying, to howling sobs. Through it all, Veronica rained down measured slaps on Melody’s butt. The pain throbbed deep into Melody’s back and legs. It erased everything else in their mind. There was nothing left in the world except Melody’s stinging butt, Veronica’s relentless hand, and the crying that wouldn’t stop.
It did eventually end, of course. Melody was walked naked back to their room, but they barely registered it. Veronica never left them. She called orders to Jane and Briana while she put Melody down to be diapered.
Not one, but two diapers and a booster pad went under Melody’s rear. They were limp and unresisting when Veronica spread the soothing lidocaine cream across their rear. They didn’t protest when the triple layers of padding were wrapped around them, even though it was so thick that Melody couldn’t close their legs.
The addition of a plastic diaper-cover, which secured with a Velcro strap, caused some grumbles, which Veronica ignored. With all that bulk it took Jane and Veronica both to get Melody into an oversized black onesie.
Briana had brought Totoro and a pacifier. She put the former in Melody’s arms, the latter she clipped to Melody’s onesie. Jane had brought a bottle full of warm formula. At Veronica’s direction, they left the room and closed the door.
Exhausted and buried in little-paraphernalia, Melody let Veronica feed them with the bottle. She was holding them swaddled in a blanket that pinned their arms and legs. Melody could have pushed out of the blanket but didn’t have the energy.
When the bottle was empty, Veronica wiped Melody’s lips. She secured the edge of the blanket, trapping Melody more firmly in their snuggly prison.
“Now, little baby, we are going to talk.” Veronica said.
“Wonika.” Melody said. They blushed. They hadn’t even been trying to use baby talk.
“I’ll start if you don’t mind.” Veronica said gently. “What was the trigger for you to cut yourself?”
“Beatrix kissed me.” Melody said.
“She assaulted you?” Veronica frowned.
“No, she did that before.” Melody said.
“When she took the pictures?” Veronica asked.
“No uh…” Melody sighed. “There’s a lot.”
“I need to hear it.” Veronica said. “Letting you fall is not an option, remember?”
“It’s hard.” Melody said. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That’s not your choice right now.” Veronica said. “You’re a baby, swaddled up in my arms. You can’t go anywhere until we talk about this. If I have to sit here all night until you finally talk, and I change your poopy diaper afterwards, that’s what will happen.”
A sudden sob burst out of Melody. It was just the one though, and they felt a little better after. If they didn’t have a choice, talking was easier. It was something they had to do, no matter what they wanted.
“Beatrix has been – controlling me.” Melody said softly. “She makes me do stuff with her. Because of the pictures she has.”
Veronica didn’t reply, she just stroked Melody’s back through the blanket.
“Then Rosa and I got together. It was great, but you were making me wear diapers and Bea was making me wear them too.” Melody sighed. “But then Rosa liked the diapers. We had – some good days. She took care of me. Let me call her mommy.”
“You’re being such a good, brave baby.” Veronica said softly. “Keep going.”
“Then Beatrix came at me again. This was th-the day I came back really sad. The recent one, I guess.” Melody took a deep breath. “She was kissing all over me. But I made her mad, and she hit me. Rosa saw the marks on my face, and the lipstick too.”
“Oh sweetie.” Veronica whispered.
“Rosa told me I had to stop seeing Beatrix. But I can’t. She has the pictures and – and I like it. I like being told what to do. I wanted to be with Beatrix since freshman year.” Melody felt tears pouring down their cheeks. “Rosa said – said I couldn’t be with her, if I didn’t stop with Beatrix. She – she left.”
“No wonder you were in crisis that day.” Veronica said. “We’re almost there, you can do it. Finish telling me.”
“This week, Bea said she liked me. We – we’re dating now. But when I kiss her, it’s like Rosa goes away more. I don’t know what to do.” Melody started sobbing softly. “It hurts if I’m alone, it hurts if I’m with Beatrix. It hurts so much my tummy gets sick.”
Melody buried their face in Veronica’s chest. “I remembered cutting from high school. I just needed to not hurt. I had to stop it.”
“My dear, beloved Melody.” Veronica said, stroking Melody’s back in slow circles. “I’m so sorry you’re hurting so much. I can’t let you keep cutting yourself though. That’s only going to hurt you more.”
“I don’t know what to do!” Melody sobbed.
“I think you should stop seeing Beatrix.” Veronica said.
“I can’t.” Melody whimpered.
“You can. You’re my brave, smart, hard-working baby. You’re scared, but you can get past the fear.” Veronica sighed softly. “Melody, my darling, Beatrix hurts you. She’s hurting your heart and she’s hurting your body. It has to stop.”
“I h-have a date with her on Friday.” Melody said. “I can s-stop it after that.”
“No.” Veronica said firmly. “You can tell her that you aren’t coming to the date. That she can’t see you anymore. It will be scary, but you will be free.”
“M-maybe.” Melody said.
That hurt too. It was unfair, brutally so, that giving up on Beatrix would hurt and that giving up on Rosa would hurt too. Inside of Melody were two wolves. It didn’t matter what either one of them was, because you’re not supposed to have wolves inside of you. Melody’s stupid wolves were going to kill them.
“You have a very strong attachment to Beatrix.” Veronica said. “It’s not healthy. Especially considering how she treats you. I’ll take your maybe for now. Before Friday afternoon, you need to tell me what you’re going to do.”
“What if I say I’m going on the date?” Melody asked miserably.
“I will very strongly disagree with you. Because I love you.” Veronica said. “I don’t see anything but pain for you on that date, or any other time with Beatrix. You don’t have to have a lover who hits you. Nobody should have to endure that. You can find someone who treats you like the wonderful, beautiful person you are, even if it isn’t Rosa.”
Melody couldn’t answer. They’d be shaking all over if it wasn’t for the restrictive blanket. Everything felt so bad, all the time. Veronica’s words sounded nice, but they didn’t feel real. Melody was at the bottom of a pit, and they couldn’t see the top anymore.
“I’m going to stay with you tonight.” Veronica said.
“What?” Melody craned their neck to look up at Veronica. “Really? Why?”
“A couple of reasons.” Veronica said. “The biggest one is that I love you, and you need to be loved. The smaller one is that I haven’t found your knife yet.”
“Why?” Melody asked. “I make so much trouble for everybody. You just wanted a renter; you didn’t need all this.”
“I didn’t know how much my family needed you, until we met you.” Veronica said. “I’m not joking when I say I love you. Briana isn’t either.”
Melody nuzzled Veronica’s chest until their tears were wiped away. “You’ll really stay?”
“I won’t leave you alone for a single minute tonight. I’m even going to sleep in this bed with you.”
“C-can Briana sleep here too?” Melody asked. “Never mind, the bed isn’t big enough, sorry.”
“We have an inflatable mattress.” Veronica said. “She can sleep on that. It’ll be like a sleepover.”
Melody managed their first smile of the day. They sighed and leaned into Veronica. Nothing was going to be okay, but that was later. Right now, for one night, Veronica and Briana could keep the bad things away.