Briana looked at Veronica curiously. Instead of opening the dresser drawers full of onesies and pajamas, Veronica was in the back of Briana’s closet. Briana was in just a diaper, awaiting whatever outfit Mom was going to put her in.
“How do you feel about big girl clothes?” Veronica asked.
“Are we having people over again?” Briana asked. The last time she’d worn big girl clothes it had been at a party. The time before that – was when she was still going to school. It seemed so long ago.
“Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to come shopping with me.” Veronica said.
“Really?!” Briana bounced excitedly. “Yes, please Mommy! Can we get Christmas presents? I have lotsa people to buy for.”
Veronica chuckled, emerging from the closet with a long yellow skirt. She added a blue and white checkered blouse, setting both on the bed. Briana checked out the clothes excitedly while she waited for mom to dress her.
To Briana’s surprise, the first thing Veronica put on her was a white bralette. While dressing little, she didn’t technically need to wear a bra, and hadn’t worn one in ages. Already she was feeling like a super big girl.
Briana helped Veronica get the skirt and blouse on her, as well as a pair of thick white leggings. Cute blue shoes that Briana had totally forgotten about completed the outfit. Spinning in front of her mirror to poof her skirt out, Briana laughed in delight.
“You look terrific sweetie.” Veronica said.
“Thanks for picking this outfit.” Briana said. “I love it.”
“It’s the outfit you wore when you applied to live in the house, do you remember?” Veronica asked.
“Oh, I do now! I’m so glad I moved in with you.” Briana took a couple of dancing steps over to Veronica and hugged her. “I love you, Mama.”
“My little BumblBri.” Veronica said softly, pulling Briana close.
“Are we going out right away?” Briana asked.
“We need to get going, yes. Grab a coat, I think your blue one will be warm enough, and look nice too. You have to wear gloves and a hat as well.”
“I bet Suzie will let me wear her blue cloche.” Briana said. “It’ll be perfect with this outfit!”
“Just don’t spend too long asking. Can you be at the door and ready in ten minutes?” Veronica asked.
“Yes Mom!” Briana scampered downstairs.
As she predicted, Suzie was forced to bend her ‘don’t borrow my hats’ rule when she saw how cute it made the outfit. Briana was at the door with her coat and gloves on with five minutes to spare.
Though Briana expected downtown to be empty, so early on a Sunday, there were cars and people everywhere. It took Veronica a while to find parking, they’d had to stop on every street to let pedestrians through a crosswalk.
Stepping out into the softly drifting snow, Briana felt her cheeks and nose redden. It was inevitable with her super fair skin and would only add to her cuteness today. Indeed, she got a big smile out of Veronica when she took Briana’s hand and set out to the shops.
The first stop was actually breakfast. Briana literally couldn’t remember the last time she’d been to a real restaurant, which didn’t take the campus food card. Probably back when she’d first started dating Gary.
With a pile of pancakes in front of her, seated in a corner of a cute Chaplin-themed breakfast place, Briana could tell the day was going to be magical.
“I will be very impressed if you eat that entire stack.” Veronica said, daintily eating her grown-up scramble. It was full of weird cheeses and pesto. “Please be careful of your outfit. I have a diaper bag but not much for spare clothes.”
“I won’t spill.” Briana said, drowning her pancakes in three kinds of syrup. “I want to everybody to see my outfit today.”
“Are you feeling a little cooped in?” Veronica asked.
“Yeah, I think so.” Briana said, packing an enormous bite of pancake into her little mouth. “Eh ehuh eahuh ih uhuuhl uhay.”
“Briana Cassingham.” Veronica said sternly. “You know better than to talk with your mouth full.”
A quick gulp of apple juice helped wash down the mighty bite. “Sorry mom. I said I didn’t realize it until today.”
“Take smaller bites, honey.” Veronica said. “I should have realized you were too home-bound myself. We’ll make a point of taking you out more.”
Briana cut a marginally smaller bite of pancake stack, remembering to talk before she mashed it into her mouth this time. “What about school? Is there any way I can go back?”
“Are you missing the socialization or the classes?” Veronica asked.
“The classes.” Briana said, after getting the second bite down. “I really like Microbiology. I was doing cool research too, with Dr. Vaughn.”
“You’re so much more grown up in your conversation today.” Veronica said with a smile. “Is it just the clothes and being out?”
“I don’t know.” Briana said. “That might be part of it. I also kinda feel rested.”
“Hmm, well getting you signed up for classes isn’t a problem, we could do it tomorrow if we wanted.” Veronica said, sipping her mimosa. “My only concern is that I want you to be successful. Dropping in and out of a graduate program is pretty disruptive to research and your colleagues.”
“If you think of a way, let me know.” Briana said. “I’ll try to think of something too.”
“You seem happy enough wearing protection out with me right now.” Veronica said. “You’ve been worried about doing that at school before though.”
“Hmm, maybe it would be okay.” Briana said. She pitched her voice a little lower. “But we were working on potty training too, right?”
“Working seems to be the operative word there. Your progress has been a little uneven.” Veronica said. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help as much as I’d like.”
“I know you’re busy.” Briana said, giving mom a genuine smile. “Plus, you have to help Melody now. If you have to choose, help them first.”
“You’re such a sweet girl.” Veronica said. “I’m fortunate to have you in my life.” (Santa Points +1)
Briana beamed. The pancakes were getting cold, and Veronica was more than halfway through her scramble. She tabled further conversation for a bit so she could properly attack her four-stack of pancakes. Veronica, their waitress, and even Briana were surprised to see a clean plate at the end of breakfast.
It was a good thing that Veronica wanted to go slowly on the icy sidewalks in her heels, because Briana was completely stuffed. The sedate pace was great for window shopping too. They got to see all the Christmas decorations and listen to the carolers that had set up on Main Street.
Some of the presents were easy to get. A grumpy owl plushie for Arthur and a nice silver bracelet for Tamira were no-brainers. Suzie wanted chocolate for literally every occasion, so a trip to the fudge shop handled her and Erin both. Other presents were harder though. Briana had no idea what to get Gary, or her immediate family for that matter. Especially Veronica, since she could hardly buy her mom a present while she was standing right there.
They paused to let a group of parents sort out a very squirmy group of kids. The parents were busy making sure that every kid had exactly one hat and pair of gloves, even if it wasn’t the one the kid had started with. It was cute how many of the kids were dressed like their parent.
While they waited, Briana caught her mom looking at the nearby shop window with more than just casual interest. It was a clothing shop, and probably one of Veronica’s favorites. Out of four mannequins in elaborate dresses, only one was wearing any color at all.
Briana smiled and squeezed Veronica’s hand, getting an answering squeeze. She looked up at Veronica and down at her outfit. It was super cute, but she didn’t match Veronica at all.
“Mom?” Briana asked tentatively. “Would it be okay if I bought something for me?”
Veronica smiled and nodded. “Of course, honey. You almost never get to go shopping. What caught your eye?”
“The dresses in this shop are really pretty.” Briana said, turning to the window. “If we have time, I’d like to at least try one on.”
“I love the dresses they have here.” Veronica said, indicating her black faux-Victorian dress with a sweep of her hand. “They’re pretty far outside your usual style though. What do you like about them?”
“I want a dress that makes me look like you.” Briana said shyly.
“Briana, is your goal for this shopping trip to make me cry?” Veronica asked happily, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief.
“No.” Briana giggled. “Is it okay? And maybe when I wear it, you could do my makeup like yours?”
“I guess we’re getting you at least one outfit now.” Veronica said with an uncharacteristically goofy smile.
As Briana had suspected, the ladies in the store knew Veronica well, and greeted her by name. By her last name anyway. It was weird to see everyone address Mom as Ms. Rasmussen. There weren’t many other customers in the store, since the dresses weren’t very Christmas-y. Out of boredom or for a favorite customer, the shop owner took them back to play dress-up with Briana.
Ensconced in the backroom so that they could do quick-changes, Briana went through at least a half dozen outfits. Each outfit was quite complicated, with multiple accessories and shoes. After seeing Briana wobble dangerously on a pair of high-heeled-witchy-boots, Veronica and Briana both banned heels from further consideration. That was fine, there were plenty of cute flats and Briana liked being short.
“It’d be easier to evaluate these outfits if we got her out of those leggings and into some black nylons or tights.” Said Wendy, the shop owner.
“Are you alright with that, Briana?” Veronica asked.
Though she’d already been stripped down to her leggings and bra several times, Briana hesitated. The leggings were tight enough that it was hard to say exactly what she had on under them. The slight bulk of her daytime diaper could be mistaken for Briana having a bit more butt than she actually did.
Figuring that Veronica would have said no if she thought Wendy would be mean, Briana put her trust in her mom.
“That’d be fine. There are some cute ones of those too. That second dress would look better if I was bare legged anyway.”
Veronica gave Wendy a look that was unreadable to Briana. It must have meant something to Wendy, because she hardly batted an eye when Veronica took Briana’s leggings down to reveal the pale pink diaper underneath.
“Ugh, pastel pink?” Was Wendy’s only comment. “We’ll need something more opaque than nylons I think, here, try these spiderweb pattern tights.”
With the tights on, Briana was starting like a complete gothy girl. In just two more outfit changes they found one that everyone agreed was their favorite. A satin and velvet petticoat dress, with a high/low skirt, fit without need for alteration. It had a solid red layer under the black lace, giving it enough color to make Briana feel good about it. Veronica was in love with the layers of black lace and the velvet panels on the corset-style top. Wendy loved how well the outfit accessorized.
In short order Briana had opera length gloves, a lace choker, and flat-heeled shoes with pointed toes to add to her ensemble. Looking in the mirror made her feel like she was in a costume to be an evil queen or a vampire. At least, it made her feel that way until she saw Veronica stand behind her in the mirror.
They matched! Briana’s heart fluttered. She looked like she belonged next to Veronica, could even be her daughter. If they weren’t just four years apart in age, of course. Turning to Veronica, she gazed up at her in adoration.
“Do you like it, Mom?” Briana asked. Too late, she realized Wendy was still there. (Santa points -1)
“You look gorgeous. I want you to know that I don’t need you to dress like this all the time; I love your regular style.” Veronica said, apparently ignoring Briana’s slip of the tongue. Wendy wasn’t reacting either. (Santa points +1)
“I love seeing you like this though. Especially because of what you said outside the shop.” Veronica said.
“What’d she say outside the shop?” Wendy asked, curiously.
“That I wanted an outfit that would make me look like her.” Briana said, taking Veronica’s hand. “Because she takes care of me, and I love her.”
“In that case you’ll want to wear it out.” Wendy said. When Briana nodded vigorously, she added, “I can do her makeup if you want, Ms. Rasmussen. I have plenty of mine here at the shop.”
“Is it alright if I put it on her instead?” Veronica asked quietly.
“Of course.” Wendy said. “You two are adorable. Don’t worry about hiding your relationship in this shop. I’m poly, and my business partner is too, in a different arrangement. Whatever your family looks like, it’s welcome here.”
“Thank you, Wendy.” Veronica said, with a gentle smile.
“I’ll give you two some space. Makeup is by that back counter. Do you just want the one outfit, or is there anything else we tried on that you want to keep?”
“We’ll take it all.” Veronica said. “Everything that fit on her, box it up and mail it to my house.”
Wendy chuckled. “You’re going to put my girlfriend through college, Ms. Rasmussen. Thank you very much. It was wonderful to meet you, Briana. I hope we’ll see you again sometime, so you can surprise your mom with a cute new dress.”
“Maybe!” Briana said. “Thanks Wendy.”
While Wendy boxed up the outfits and rang them up, Briana sat for her makeup and watched Veronica. There was so much care in Veronica’s look of concentration. The two of them had become so close, so quickly. Even so, there was still a lot she didn’t know about the woman she called Mom.
“Mom.” Briana said when Veronica had finished her lips and moved on to her eyes. “Are you rich?”
“Hmm, I guess I did flaunt it just a bit there, didn’t I?” Veronica asked. “I try to be a little more discreet than that. Yes, our family has some wealth that has been passed down. We aren’t Rockefellers, but we’re very comfortable.”
“I was just wondering.” Briana said. “I feel like there’s more I should know, if you’re my mom. You can tell me if I ask something that I shouldn’t.”
“Briana, look at me.” Veronica said.
She paused her eyeliner painting so that Briana could open her eyes. Veronica was squatting down, looking up at Briana. It was one of the most serious looks her mom had ever given her.
“It’s your money too, darling.” Veronica said.
Briana’s throat suddenly had a lump. She hadn’t become Veronica’s daughter for money. What was that line from Sabrina? Everyone would say what a fine democratic thing it was for rich David to marry poor Sabrina. But nobody poor was ever called democratic for marrying somebody rich.
“Th-that’s okay. You don’t have to do that. I’m really grateful that you took me shopping today.”
“Listen to me, Briana.” Veronica said. “You are my precious daughter. I love you exactly like I would if you were my blood.”
Furiously blinking away the tears that threatened her makeup, Briana sniffled. “I love you too, Mom.”
“You’re my Briana, but as far as I’m concerned, you’re also a Rasmussen.” Veronica said. “You can be one on paper too, if you want. I could formally adopt you.”
That did it. Tears spilled down Briana’s cheeks, shredding her eye makeup across her foundation.
“Mommy… really?” Briana asked.
“Yes, really. Would you want that? It’s a big deal to change your name.”
“Not for me.” Briana said with a sniffle. “I mean, not a big deal to get rid of the old one. It’s just what the last foster family had.”
“Do you want to keep your middle name?” Veronica asked.
“I don’t know.” Briana said. “But I know I want to be Briana Rasmussen.”
“Then you are.” Veronica said, stroking Briana’s hair. “We’ll make it legal as soon as we can, but that is your name from today on.”
“I’m ruining the makeup you did.” Briana said, sobbing into an ornate black silk handkerchief.
“Easily fixed.” Veronica said. “I do makeup like this every day.”
By the time her makeup was redone, Briana was feeling an odd discomfort. It was so unfamiliar that she had to seriously think, before she realized what the problem was.
“Mom.” Briana said urgently. “I have to go to the bathroom.”
Veronica looked up from the makeup she was putting away in surprise. “Oh. Oh! It’s right through that door, honey.”
Briana dashed for it! There were a lot more layers than usual between her and her diaper. It would have been a noble, but futile attempt, if Veronica hadn’t come in to help gather her skirt and get her diaper down.
Sitting on the potty, Briana was surprised at how much she had in her. She’d somehow held it until her bladder was totally full. Said bladder was achy at being stretched for the first time in a while.
“I’m really impressed, Briana.” Veronica said. “You held it just like a big girl – no, really like a young lady.”
“I don’t know how I did it.” Briana said, just as surprised. “I just realized I had to go.”
“You’ve been very grown up, mentally, on this shopping trip.” Veronica said, helping Briana get her clothes back on.
“It’s weird. It feels good though.” Briana said. Feeling a sudden pang of fear, she quickly added, “It doesn’t mean I don’t need you, though.”
“I know that, Baby Bee.” Veronica said. She patted Briana gently on the cheek. “This isn’t like when we were doing this for therapy. I’ll still help you with your issues, but as your mom now.”
Briana relaxed and smiled. “What now?”
“We still have shopping to do, but it’s getting late in the day. Let’s try two more stores and go home.”
“Okay Mama.” Briana said.
It was exciting to be out, dressed to match Veronica. Tempering that excitement was the puzzle of her big behavior. It was a little scary, mostly because it was unreliable. If she could manage to do this, she could go back to class. But what if it lasted a week and she was back to being baby-minded?
Her distraction wasn’t so total that she forgot to look for presents. Though Veronica had said only two stores, Briana dragged her into a ‘Gifts of Japan’ store they saw on the way back to the car. It took some hunting through the jam-packed walls and shelves, but Briana found the perfect gift for Melody.
An anime figurine set of the impromptu Mother/Father/Daughter trio from “Spy x Family”, along with a figurine of Ray from “The Promised Neverland”, were both statues that Melody didn’t have. Combining them would create Briana and Melody’s own impromptu family. Briana was pleased with herself all the way home.
Even after hiding her presents away, Briana didn’t feel the need to revert to her baby self. It would be a shame to get out of her cool goth outfit without showing her sibling, after all. Briana bet she could get Melody to take some pictures.
A knock at Melody’s door didn’t yield any response. Baby Briana would have crashed right in, but Graduate Student Briana was a little more considerate.
“Melody, it’s Briana. I’m coming in, okay?”
“Fine.” Came Melody’s sad reply.
Briana stepped into the room and immediately moved to hug her sibling. Melody looked wretched. They were standing at their desk in a very soggy diaper and a t-shirt, listlessly shoving books and electronics into their school bag. At Briana’s touch, Melody dropped the bag and leaned into their sister.
“I got you.” Briana said.
She got a heartbreaking whimper from Melody in response. Since she couldn’t fix Melody’s real hurt, she just held on to her sibling, gently stroking their hair.
“You’re different.” Melody said finally.
They pulled back to look at Briana and their eyes went wide.
“You look like Veronica.” Melody said in awe.
Despite her sibling’s misery, Briana broke into a huge smile at that compliment.
“You like my new outfit?” She did a twirl for Melody.
“You look amazing. Wow.” Melody said.
Briana frowned. She’d expected a meme-y quip of some kind. Melody’s voice was flat and soft. Their eyes were downcast and dull.
“Didn’t Dad check on you?” Briana asked. “You’re not okay right now. You need a change too.”
“I didn’t answer when Jane knocked.” Melody said grumpily.
Briana sighed in exasperation. She put her hands on her hips just the way that Mom did. It felt good, authoritative.
“Little one.” Briana declared, “I’m going to get you cleaned up and taken care of.”
“You’re the little one.” Melody said. It was half a question.
“Not right now. Come with me.” Briana took Melody’s wrist firmly.
Her sibling stared back at her in disbelief. Melody pulled back. At her size, Briana had less than zero chance of dragging anyone with her.
“Isn’t that diaper cold, soggy, and itchy?” Briana asked. “That looks like the one you had from nighttime.”
“I guess it is.” Melody said in a huff.
“Then come with me so I can change you.” Briana said.
Melody hesitated one more time. They looked down and took a tentative step forward.
Briana might not be able to pull someone by physical strength, but she knew quite a bit about exploiting momentum. As soon as Melody moved, Briana did too, keeping Melody’s arm taut. She had her sibling stumbling over to the drawing room changing table, before Melody could change their mind.
“Up you go.” Briana said. Melody stared at Briana in silent confusion.
“I can’t lift you.” Briana said. “Up. Now!”
Hearing a sharp tone from Briana looked like it freaked Melody out. It got them up on the table though, post haste.
“Give me your shirt.” Briana said, pulling Melody’s t-shirt up.
She managed to get it off with minimal wiggles. With that done, she tore open the tapes on Melody’s diaper and disposed of it. Relief was immediately evident on Melody’s face.
“What’s going on?” Melody asked. “You’re never like this.”
“I used to be like this every day.” Briana said. “I don’t know how long I can keep it up, but I do know one thing.”
“What’s that?” Melody asked, squirming as Briana wiped them clean.
“I can do it long enough to take care of my sibling.” Briana said confidently.
“But – I’m the big sibling.” Melody said uncertainly. “You’re my little sister.”
“I’m your sister, period. Lift your butt.” Briana said, sliding a blue, Melody-friendly diaper under her sibling. “Just relax, Mel. Let your sister take care of you for a hot second, okay?”
“Okay.” Melody said.
They were crying again. Briana held off on the powder and gently stroked Melody’s hair. It took a few minutes for them to soothe. Softly humming, Briana wiped Melody’s tears and popped a pacifier in their mouth.
The pacifier was clearly a big surprise to Melody. Briana realized she’d never seen Melody use one before. They took to it right away though, closing their eyes and relaxing.
Briana took her time diapering Melody, making sure to incorporate a lot of loving touches. Back in Melody’s room, she got them into one of their sets of baby pajamas. This one was a dark green and had little gold bow and arrow motifs embroidered into it.
“Is it the clothes?” Melody asked. “Can you do this because you’re wearing Veronica stuff?”
Briana chuckled. “Why, because goth powers and mommy powers are the same thing?”
“Maybe they are.” Melody said. “You look so different. What’s that shade of lipstick anyway, Blood of My Enemies?”
Briana giggled. “That’s more like my sibling. Feeling better?”
“Yeah but, I can’t just be a baby all the time. I have to go back to school tomorrow.” Melody said sadly.
“That’s tomorrow.” Briana said. “Right now, you’re a baby in some of the cutest pajamas ever.”
“They are pretty cool.” Melody said, pleased. “So uh, what now?”
“I take care of you.” Briana said. “Are you hungry?”
“You better not be offering to feed me the way that Veronica does you!” Melody teased.
“Very funny.” Briana chuckled. “I wasn’t, and I can’t do that anyway. I actually don’t know how mom did it, now that I’m big enough to think about it. I guess it must be some kind of maternity medicine thing.”
Melody shrugged. “I’m hungry I guess.”
Briana considered her sibling. They seemed to be out of steam for thinking. They might want to be really little at the moment. As Briana knew well, people often hesitated to treat her as little as she needed to be treated. They were reluctant for good reason, of course, but a push didn’t hurt.
“Since you brought that up, do you want me to prepare a bottle for you?” Briana asked.
“That’s baby stuff.” Melody said, blushing.
“Are you a baby right now, Melody?” Briana asked.
“I don’t know – I can’t…” Melody whimpered.
“Do you wish you were one?” Briana asked softly.
“Yes.” Melody said. After a long pause they added, “Please, Briana.”
Briana spotted Totoro on the bed and popped him into Melody’s hands. She was to the kitchen and back as fast as she could manage, warm bottle of formula in her hands. Melody spotted the bottle and squirmed nervously.
Closing the door, Briana smiled at Melody. She helped her sibling get propped up on some pillows and offered the bottle gently. As soon as they began sucking on it, Melody closed their eyes. They got through the bottle steadily, finishing with a quiet burp and a cute wiggle.
“Need a nap?” Briana asked.
Melody nodded and crawled under the covers. Briana tucked her sibling in, singing a soft nonsense song in the melody of the Cloudland anthem. She knew from her own experience, that Melody’s expression meant they were non-verbal for a bit.
Unfortunately, as soon as Melody was asleep they didn’t need Briana anymore. Stress gathered in a tense knot at the back of Briana’s head. She felt herself wetting, without the slightest warning. It was still so hard to be big Briana. Asserting authority over Melody had taken a lot of energy too. After making sure that Melody was really asleep, Briana fled upstairs.
“Mama?” Briana called as she searched Veronica’s suite.
“It’s Dad.” Jane said from the bedroom. “Veronica is out.”
Briana raced into Jane’s arms for a big hug. She pulled back and looked Briana over.
“You look so much like your mom like that.” Jane said. “Do you like it? You’re very pretty that way.”
“Of course I am, ‘cause you like goth girls.” Briana said, giggling.
“Guilty.” Jane said with a chuckle. “What’s up?”
“Did Mom tell you how I was big today?” Briana asked.
“Yes. Are you running down from that now?” Jane asked.
“Yeah.” Briana nodded. “Help me get little, please Daddy?”
Jane knew exactly what she needed. In typical efficient fashion, she had Briana in a fresh diaper and a onesie in less than fifteen minutes. Even the makeup was scrubbed off, which Briana regretted a bit.
“Can I play in Melody’s room?” Briana asked. “They were super sad today. I put them down for a nap. I want them to wake up with me there.”
“You put Melody down for a nap?” Jane asked curiously. “Trying to steal your Dad’s job now?”
“No.” Briana said, snuggling up to Jane. “Nobody can replace my daddy.”
“Veronica told me you were especially sweet today.” Jane said softly. “I didn’t realize you were trying to make us cry.”
“I’m not trying to make anybody cry.” Briana said impatiently. “I just feel really happy. Maybe it’s the holidays.”
“OH!” Briana shouted, cutting off whatever reply Jane was about to make. “Oh Dad, can I tell you all the big girl stuff I did today?”
“Sure honey. But calm down a little.”
“But you have to hear it.” Briana insisted. “For Santa.”
Jane laughed. “Alright, I understand. Go ahead.”
Briana gave a breathless rundown of her morning, making sure to mention that she’d been super nice to Mom (Santa Points +1), used the potty like a big girl (Santa Points +1), told Mom she wanted to change her name (Santa Points +1), found the perfect gift for Melody (Santa Points +1), saved Melody from being sad (Santa Points +1), and finally stayed big long enough to help Melody get little again. (Santa Points +1)
Once Briana was satisfied that Jane would inform Santa of all her good deeds, she had Dad help her collect some toys from her room and set her up in Melody’s bedroom. While Melody snored, Briana built more and more elaborate stuffie-towers on her sibling. (Santa Points -1)