It was getting hard to be a Scrooge these days. Melody liked to think that they were too cool for celebrations and parties and normie holiday stuff. Sitting on their girlfriend’s lap, with a glass of limoncello in their hand and full of food, they were willing to admit that they were wrong. There might be something to this whole found-family and friends holiday thing after all.
Everyone was gathered in the drawing room, which was crowded with people and furniture both. When the living room had been cleared for the table, Casey and Jane had put as much seating as they could fit in the drawing room. It was a good call, though Melody wished they’d removed the changing table. That had been a fun thing to have Rosa see. The most Melody had been able to make herself say about it was that it wasn’t hers.
When Melody had first sat on Rosa’s lap a few people had teased them. Leaning against Rosa was comfy, warm, and worth every friendly joke. Besides, Rosa knew that embarrassment was a turn on for them now so – she’d probably just use that against them later.
The thought made Melody squirm, which in turn prompted Rosa to wrap her arm around Mel’s waist. That was a nice serotonin hit. Melody calmed immediately, laying their head on Rosa’s shoulder.
“You getting sleepy babe?” Rosa asked quietly.
“Naw.” Melody shamelessly nuzzled Rosa’s shoulder. “This feels good.”
Rosa made a happy sound and stroked Mel’s back. It did feel good, especially now that the diaper was out of the – diaper bag? That analogy worked way too well for Melody’s comfort. In any case, it was nice to not have to constantly worry that Rosa would find out every time she touched Melody or leaned against them. There’s no way they’d be sitting in her lap if the secret hadn’t come out.
Casey dropped into the armchair next to Rosa and Melody with a mighty thump. “Hi Mel. Hey Rosa, Casey.”
“Rosa.” She smiled. “You’re one of the roommates right?”
“Yeah.” Casey nodded. “Maryam and I have a bet on what sport you play. Wanna settle it for us?”
“Derby.” Rosa said with a laugh.
“I knew it! In your face Mar!”
“Shut up, you only won that because you said it first and I had to pick another one.” Maryam walked up behind Casey and sort of loomed there.
“Naw, I picked it because those are serious Derby hips on Rosa.”
“Hey!” Melody glared at Casey. “She’s mine.”
That got a good laugh out of Casey and Maryam, but a kiss on Melody’s cheek from Rosa.
“That’s sweet. Are you jealous, babe?”
“I don’t like to share.” Melody said
“Me either.” Rosa squeezed Melody tightly.
What am I making Rosa do, if not share? Melody asked themself, taking the evening’s first stab of guilt to the heart.. But, I don’t have a choice. Right?
“So when’s the wedding?” Maryam teased. Melody responded good-naturedly with a single finger.
“Speaking of sports.” Rosa said, mercifully shifting the topic, “Let me guess Casey, you play literally all of them.”
“That’s not true!” Casey protested. “I don’t play cricket.”
“Only because there isn’t a women’s team in the area.” Maryam leaned on Casey’s chair and kissed the top of her head.
Melody giggled. “Cricket? That’s the ONE sport you don’t play? You do everything else, even super obscure stuff like…”
“Jai alai?” Rosa completed Melody’s question.
“Uh actually I do.” Casey said bashfully.
“No shit?” Maryam came around the side of Casey’s chair with a big grin on her face. “Dude there’s a Fronton in Newport.”
“Really? We gotta go!”
“Yeah!”
Melody giggled helplessly at the himbos and sipped their drink.
“You’re not sporty, huh Melody?” Maryam asked, taking the laughter with good grace.
“Excuse me, I have my L sticker and therefore I sport.” Melody said. “But I do e-sports.”
Maryam looked skeptical.
“They’re super good at it.” Rosa said proudly.
“Really?” Maryam said, skepticism fading in favor of curiosity.
Melody blushed and shrugged. “I have 5.5k DotA2 MMR. When I’m actually training.”
“What does that mean?” Casey asked for herself and her girlfriend.
“It means they’re just below the rank where they stop using ratings and actually count down from the top player in the world.” Rosa beamed.
“No shit?” Maryam seemed impressed. Apparently being sufficiently competitive outweighed the lack of physical activity.
“Yeah. But like, it burns so much time to compete at that level. It’s not worth it unless you go pro.”
“That’s super cool.” Casey said, Maryam nodding agreement. “Plus it obviously impressed your girlfriend so that’s a big plus.”
Melody chuckled and fiddled with their hair. “Thanks.”
“I’m convinced.” Maryam said with a grin. “You’re an official sporty dyke.”
Melody winced. “I know I dress butch now but can we not do the d-word?”
“Sorry!” Maryam said quickly. “I use it for myself and I forget sometimes.”
“No it’s cool.” Melody said equally quickly. “I’m not trying to police the word, I just don’t want it as a label for me.”
“Fair play.” Maryam nodded.
“Hey Maryam.” Casey said. “Your drink is empty.”
“So’s yours.” Maryam said with a sly smile.
“Let’s get after it!” Casey hopped up with a terrifying level of energy after the huge meal. She waved to Melody and Rosa as Maryam linked arms with her and dragged her off to the kitchen.
“I like your roommates.” Rosa said with a chuckle.
“Do not go full himbo on me.” Melody said, snuggling back into Rosa.
“Don’t worry, I’m still a nerd. I write code. Beep boop.”
“Dork.” Melody laughed.
They sat quietly for a bit. It was heavenly. Melody had never felt so comfortable before. Not in their social life, not with a girlfriend, not even in their own skin. Even the stupid diaper was contributing to the general feeling of goodness.
“I know I said this before, but I really love how confidant you are now.” Rosa said.
“Huh? What brought that on?”
“You straight-up confronted Maryam about the label she used. You were nice, but firm. It was great.”
“Part of that is changing my look. My gender expression.” Melody from even two months ago would have gagged on the words gender expression. Melody from two months ago was kind of dumb.
“It did you a lot of good.” Rosa nodded. “And it’s hot.”
Melody smiled. “Part of it is you.”
“Really?” Rosa craned her head to look at Melody.
“Yeah. You called me handsome. You believed in me. You’ve been super understanding even with my really weird stuff.”
“I think you’re amazing.” Rosa said. She sounded totally sincere.
Normally this kind of heart to heart would have Melody squirming or sarcastically quipping. Maybe it was the food baby in their belly or the alcohol, but either way they were just mellow enough to take it at face value.
“I really do. You’re not just handsome. You’re really, kind of scary smart. A hard worker too. You have your own consulting business. I don’t know what I’m going to do for work when I get out of school, but you could drop out today and be fine for money. Like, do you even have loans?”
“Not anymore.” Melody admitted. That was a new development. They’d been close to finishing off their loans, but Veronica’s offer to drop rent had been a huge boost to get over the last of their balance.
“See? That’s awesome.” Rosa kissed Melody sweetly, mingling the taste of her brandy with Melody’s limoncello.
“You know uh, if you did have a hard time after graduation, I’d uh – take care of you.” Melody said, finding something interesting on the carpet to stare at.
“You want to be my sugar-parent?” Rosa asked, only half-teasing. “I’ll be okay, you don’t have to do that.”
“I know you will, but if there was like, a hump to get over. I know from friends that sometimes it’s rough right when the payments start coming due.” Melody kicked her feet and tunneled her vision in on the carpet pattern. “I would like taking care of you.”
Rosa’s hug was fierce enough to drive the breath out of Melody. “I really appreciate that. I want to take care of you too.”
“I’d like that.” Melody said quietly, cuddling close to Rosa.
“Speaking of taking care of people – what’s up with your roommate?”
“Briana?”
“Yeah.”
Melody sighed. “It is a whole complicated thing. I’m not sure how much I’m even supposed to say, except that Veronica left the changing table out in this room so I guess it’s all on the table?”
“That’s hers?”
“Yeah. She uh, is pretty much always wearing diapers. Uses them and stuff.”
“Like you?” Rosa ventured in a whisper.
“No.” Melody squirmed. “It’s different. I don’t… it’s a different thing.”
“I’m sorry if this is the wrong time.” Rosa said. “I just don’t understand.”
Melody looked around. Everyone was winding down into quiet conversations in twos, threes, and fours. The super sports duo were nowhere to be seen, probably burning off energy with a barefoot snowball fight or something. They certainly couldn’t hear anyone else’s conversation, so no one should be able to hear theirs.
“I can try to explain.” Melody said softly. “What do you want to know?”
“Does it turn you on?”
Right to the jugular. She really is Jaguar Star, Melody thought ruefully. “Yeah, it does.”
“Just because it’s embarrassing or…?”
“I don’t – I can’t really answer that. It’s all mixed up together. But I do uh,” Melody buried her face in Rosa’s shoulder.
Rosa said nothing, just let Melody finish her sentence, or not while stroking Mel’s hair.
“I use them, sometimes. Uh, just for one thing.”
That’s a thing they’d said to their girlfriend now. It would be super convenient if the ground would open up under them and swallow them up. Or maybe the sun could explode and just erase the whole world. Either one would work.
“Hmm.” Rosa said. There was a long pause. “I’ve never done um – watersports stuff?”
“We don’t have to.” Melody said. “We super don’t have to if you don’t like it.”
“I didn’t say that.” Rosa said. “I’m just processing. So what do you like to do with um – another person?”
“I don’t know.” Melody said. “I really don’t. It’s new for me. This whole thing.”
“Is there a reason you started wearing them around me, before we talked about any of this?”
“Are you mad?” Melody winced.
“No, hon, I’m not.” Rosa stroked Melody’s head. “Caught off guard? Yeah. Not mad. Processing.”
“There’s a reason but it is weird. Like, even weirder than me wearing them.” Melody said, hoping Rosa would take the warning.
“I want to hear it. I want to be in on the Melody news.”
“Ugh, okay. Um, there’s some backstory.”
Rosa waited patiently. They both took a sip of their drinks, sat quietly for a bit while Melody worked up their courage.
“There was a thing that happened. I kind of got assaulted.” Melody shied away from the spicey feeling of that word. Not really assaulted. Not exactly. That’s the word that Rosa would need to understand, but it wasn’t – couldn’t have been assault. They decided not to use the word again.
“The day I was here?”
“No uh, way earlier and uh, way worse.”
“Melody.” Rosa said, holding her close.
“Don’t start with that.” Melody said. “You’ll make me cry and I won’t be able to finish.”
“Okay, okay.” Rosa took a deep breath and went back to stroking Melody’s hair.
“Anyway uh, it was a really hard day. Kinda bad, and things had been bad for a while.” Melody sighed. “I uh, sorta passed out when I came home.”
Rosa made a concerned noise but managed to keep it just to a noise. Melody took a deep breath, pausing before she continued.
“Part of the whole bad thing was uh – me finding out that I like wearing – this stuff.” Melody said in a whisper. “Veronica is in psych and she volunteered to untangle my crazy head. Part of it is imposing structure around um – when I wear them. Right now it’s all the time.”
Melody let out a big breath with a shudder. “So uh – that’s the whole long story. That’s why I had them on around you.”
“This bad thing.” Rosa said softly, carefully, “Was with Beatrix?”
“Yeah.” Melody felt Rosa’s whole body tense, and actually heard her teeth grinding.
When she spoke, Rosa’s voice wasn’t angry, which was a relief. Melody wasn’t sure they could take angry with all the other scary emotions right now.
“I’m so sorry hon.” Rosa hugged Melody carefully. “I – I really care about you.”
“I feel it.” Melody said softly, shuddering again. She tucked herself as closely into Rosa as she could. “It’s great. It helps.”
“I think I mostly get it now.” Rosa said. “I’m sorry I dredged all that up.”
“No, it’s okay. It actually feels a little better to have told you stuff.”
“Okay.” Rosa held Melody tightly and kissed her forehead. “Look um, if you don’t want to do stuff with the diapers, we don’t have to. We can just pretend they aren’t there. I didn’t realize how much was going on.”
Melody sighed. “I kind-of do though.”
“You set the pace. Whatever you want, babe.” Rosa said. There was another long pause, then a sort of change in the tension in Rosa’s body. She felt more relaxed, like the mood was lightening.
“Okay, I can’t help it, I have to ask.” Rosa asked with a mischievous tone. “Does it bother you when I call you babe – or do you like it? Should I call you baby?”
“Oh god, what are you doing?” Melody flushed all the way down her neck, burying her face in Rosa’s shoulder. “Stop it.”
“You’re that embarrassed?” Rosa giggled. “Which means you’re also just about as turned on?”
“Rosa you’re terrible. Worst girlfriend ever.” Melody said, muffled by Rosa’s dress. Was she suddenly horny as hell? Did she want Rosa’s hand down the front of her diaper? Yes to both things. Was it fair? Obviously not.
“I’ll let up, for now.” Rosa patted Melody’s butt, quite deliberately Melody was sure. “But I think if we can tease about it, it’ll be okay.”
“Ugh. Maybe. Okay.” Melody peered up at Rosa, squirming at her girlfriend’s broad smile.
Veronica came striding into the room. She’d left at some point with Jane, Melody remembered, but now she looked upset. Frowning, Melody sat up.
“Everyone, I’m very sorry to interrupt your evening, but we have an emergency. Briana is missing.” Veronica had her cool and in-control thing going on, but there was an edge to it. She was wound tight, like she might shatter at any moment.
“Missing?” Gary stood up, dumping his cookie plate on the floor.
“I don’t know why, but it looks like she went out her window and off the roof. On purpose. Her footsteps lead away from the house. I need help looking for her.”
Melody hopped up, swaying as the full extent of their buzzed state made itself known. “Uh, I don’t think I can drive right now, but I’ll get my coat and start looking.”
“Thank you Melody.” Veronica said gratefully. “I’m sorry to ask this of you all. All of you know something about how Briana is a little different, but most of you don’t know the full picture. She is an adult, but isn’t thinking like one at the moment. There is a real danger that she could hurt herself, or even – even get too cold in the snow and…”
“That’s not going to happen.” Jane squeezed Veronica’s shoulder, already dressed in a thick coat and boots. “I’m good to drive, Ronnie and I will be on the streets and she’ll be on her phone. You should all have her number. Text her if you find out anything. Please don’t call unless you actually find Briana. We’ll be fielding a lot of messages.”
“Maryam and I will check the arboretum.” Casey said. “I found her there once, and I know a couple of other panic-places she goes on campus.”
“Are you okay to drive?” Gary asked.
“It’s a seven minute run there.” Maryam said, shrugging on a light jacket. “We got this.”
Seven minutes to run to campus sounded – fast. Thank goodness for sporty girls, Melody thought to herself.
“Well I’m sober.” Gary said. “I can take one person, I’m here in my pickup.”
“All yours, G-Man.” Suzie said, hopping up from the couch.
Suzie’s friends were gone, some time during her long conversation with Rosa, Melody realized. Who else wasn’t here? Briana’s friend was gone too, Tammy or something?
Everyone made their way to the living room to pick up their coats and boots. Casey and Maryam were already out the door, running fast. Erin and her girlfriend were the next ones out, Erin’s keys jingling in her hand.
“Lots of people with cars.” Melody said. “Rosa and I can check around the neighborhood.”
“Thank you Melody.” The desperate gratitude in Veronica’s voice was hard to hear.
As vehicles rumbled to life in the driveway, Melody retrieved a sweater and some leggings for Rosa from her room. Rosa put them on gratefully and they both bundled into coats, hats, and gloves.
“Was there anything that gave an idea of why she snuck out?” Melody asked. “Or something besides footprints for a guess where she went?”
“I searched her room.” Veronica said. “Her phone was still there. She took her stuffed lion, and I’m not sure what else. There weren’t any clues that I could see.”
“Okay, we’ll start looking.” Melody flashed an encouraging smile at Veronica and headed out the door.
Briana’s footprints were easy to find. There was a Briana-sized crater in the snow under her window, along with a trail of footprints. Melody followed them down the lawn to the sidewalk, Rosa in tow.
At the sidewalk things started to get complicated. Using her phone as a flashlight, Melody tried to identify which of the dozens of imprints in the snow belonged to Briana. Luckily her prints were recent, and her feet very small.
“Everyone is really freaked.” Rosa said. “Does Briana have some kind of mental issue?”
“Yeah uh, there’s a lot more going on with her than the diaper thing.” Melody said. “Best thing to do is to pretend that there’s a six year old missing, because that’s about where Bri’s head is at.”
“Oh my god.” Rosa froze in place with that revelation, catching back up to Melody with a few jogging steps.
“I’m sure we can find her.” Rosa said. It was meant to be reassuring, but even the minor uncertainty in that statement made Melody’s stomach churn.
“We have to. We HAVE to find her.” Melody could feel panic building up in her chest.
It was pure luck that Briana had decided to walk on the grass for a bit, and even more luck that Melody was able to spot where she’d crossed the street. The other side of the street was a parking lot, and that’s where the luck ran out. The 7-11 was still open and there were cars and people coming in and out regularly. A mass of tire tracks and footprints obliterated any trace of Briana’s steps.
“Briana!” Melody shouted at the top of her lungs. “BRIANA!”
Rosa jogged back from inside the convenience store. “She’s not in there.”
“She can’t be lost.” Melody said frantically. “We have to find her. Please Bri, don’t be lost or hurt.”
“Hey, hon, it’s okay, there are tons of people looking for her. We’re going to find her.” Rosa gripped Melody’s shoulders gently.
“You don’t understand.” Melody stared at Rosa with wild eyes. “She was the first person in the house I made friends with. She never judged me, for anything. If it hadn’t have been for her I never would have – I would have just stayed in my room – I wouldn’t have you.”
Rosa pulled Melody close. The emotional roller coaster that Melody had been on all evening reached it’s peak. They sobbed, hard, into their girlfriend’s shoulder.
“I love that stupid ditzy bitch. She’s like my little sister.”
“Oh honey.” Rosa held Melody close. “I got you. And you got her. Come on, it’s big brain time. Where would Briana go?”
“It doesn’t make sense. She doesn’t have any reason to just ditch. Everyone she knew was at the…”
Melody looked up at Rosa. “Tammy. No, not Tammy, T something. Fuckin’ T-whatever, Briana’s friend.”
“Tamira I think?”
“YES.” Melody broke away from Rosa and grabbed her phone. “I’m telling Veronica to call Tamira.”
“You think she went to visit a friend?” Rosa still sounded confused.
“It’s a whole thing, she’s like a baby a lot of the time. Veronica is literally her mom. Takes care of her just like a mom would. When Veronica is busy or isn’t around someone has to babysit her.”
“Woah. That’s uh, where that diaper game ended up?”
“What?” Melody blushed. “No uh, it doesn’t have to go like that. There’s a whole community, it’s a thing on the internet. But uh, Briana is extreme.”
“Veronica is on the phone with the cops but Jane gave me Tamira’s number.” Melody set it dialing without hesitation.
“Hi Tamira. It’s Melody from dinner tonight, don’t hang up.”
“Hi Melody, this is a surprise, what’s going on?” Tamira sounded a bit put-off by the sudden stranger call.
Melody could feel her limbs shaking. “No time for small talk, something crazy happened. Briana is missing.”
“Missing? What do you mean?”
“I mean she snuck out of her room, off the roof, and we don’t know if she’s freezing to death or what out here.” Melody said, panic flooding her tone. Rosa made a calm down motion. It was a good idea, but not one Melody was sure they could make happen.
“Oh. OH. So she’s really, like really not able to be an adult right now?” Tamira sounded like she got it, maybe. There was more concern in her voice than there had been with Rosa at first. Melody gave thanks that she wouldn’t have to explain Briana’s mental state again.
“You got it. I take it she’s not there with you? We can’t figure out where she would go.”
“I don’t know where she’d go either. She was supposed to have a big sleepover with Gary. She wouldn’t leave the house and miss out on that.”
“Something was apparently important enough to make her jump off a roof.” Melody said, exasperated.
“I can’t think of what unless. Oh god.”
“WHAT.” Melody barked at the phone.
“I think maybe – oh fuck. I think she might have gone to confront Beatrix.”
Melody stared at their phone like it had become a live snake. “Fucking, BEATRIX? Why?”
“She uh, asked me to dig up some information on Beatrix for her.” Tamira said. “Said she wanted to make things right after what happened at your house. I didn’t come up with anything though, just some basic twitter receipts that wouldn’t get anyone arrested.”
“Did you show her Bea’s address?” Melody asked, forgetting that they were using Beatrix’s nickname in front of their girlfriend.
“For like four seconds.” Tamira said. “She’s probably just trying to find Beatrix on campus somewhere.”
“No, she can reason better than that, even if it’s all through the lens of being a kid. How did she act when you showed her that stuff?”
“I don’t know, puffed out her chest and got kind of serious I guess?”
“Fuck. Okay, that’s where she is.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah.” Melody was. They had spent a lot of time with Briana, and it was exactly the kind of thing that big-hearted kid would do. That Briana could memorize an address on the fly didn’t surprise her, the kid wasn’t dumb.
“Hey, Tamira, thanks. I’m going to hang up and call Veronica now.”
“I’m sorry, I had no idea this would happen.” Tamira sounded remorseful, but Melody had no time for any of that touchy-feely crap.
“Bye.” Melody closed the call.
“You seriously think she’s at Beatrix’s house?” Rosa asked with wide eyes.
“Bri’s not so good at giving up on stuff.” Melody said.
“She must really care about you.” Rosa smiled. “Where’s Beatrix live?”
“Too far from here to walk.” Melody shook her head. “Briana has to be frozen if she walked that far.”
As if to underscore Melody’s point, snow began to swirl down, carried on a cutting wind. Rosa stood by in supportive concern while Melody dialed Veronica’s number.
“Melody!” Veronica said in desperation. “You found her?”
“I know where she is.” Melody said. “Beatrix’s house.”
“What? How? Why?”
“Tamira told me that Briana decided she had to fix what happened between me and Bea at the house.” Melody tried their best to keep the emotion out of their voice. Veronica needed facts to act on, not their baggage. “She asked Tamira to look up dirt on Bea, or something?”
“And she DID?” The fury in Veronica’s tone was not something Melody ever wanted to be the target of.
“I guess she did. Including Bea’s address.” Melody sighed. “I’ll text it to you so you can put it in Maps. I can’t think of anything else that would make Briana climb out a second story window in the snow.”
“You’re right, thank you Melody.” Veronica’s voice was trembling. “Send me that address as soon as we’re off the phone. I’ll let you know when I find her.”
“I’m going to start walking that direction just in case.” Melody said. “Maybe she stopped on the way or something. I – I’m not going to let anything happen to her.”
“I love you, Melody.” Veronica said gratefully.
“Uh… th-thanks.” Melody squirmed. There was not room for another big emotion tonight. “I’m sending you that address. Good luck.”
The moment they ended the call, Melody’s fingers flew across her phone’s keyboard. They sighed with relief when the message was marked as sent.
“I don’t know if you caught that, but I’m going to walk the route in case Briana stopped somewhere or uh, you know, something happened before she could get there. If you need to go home…”
“Which way do we go?” Rosa asked.
Melody smiled gratefully. “Down Main, we’ll turn right at Spruce.”
Rosa took Melody’s hand in a tight grip and strode along at their side.
—–
It was so cold. Briana hadn’t expected it to be this cold. She really wished she’d been able to grab her coat from the downstairs. Some mittens would be nice too. It’d been a while since she had much feeling in her fingers. Her back was especially bad too. The hoodie had gotten damp when she landed in the snow and now it was covered in ice crystals.
She peered at the street sign in front of her. Just one more block to go. Without her phone (dumb!) she had no way to know what time it was. The walk had been long enough that she’d wet twice. Each time had made some nice warmth, but now her diaper was cold and clammy.
“B-beatrix had b-better be there.” Briana told Alanna through chattering teeth.
Alanna was worried about the cold. That made sense, lions were from Africa. Briana tucked the lioness a little further inside her hoodie pocket. Her lioness had additional worries about the lack of a plan for when Briana found Beatrix.
“I’ll tell her that she has to tell me what she’s doing.” Briana said, trudging forward into a sudden wind-driven snow flurry. Alanna’s only response to THAT was a skeptical snort.
“If she doesn’t tell me, then I’ll challenge her to a duel.” Briana declared, patting the hilt of her plastic sword.
That answer seemed to satisfy Alanna. The lioness liked duels, she was good at them after all. If only it wasn’t such a long journey to get to the duel. Briana slipped on the sidewalk for the tenth or so time, freshly scraping her hands and bruising her knee.
Tears sprung immediately to her eyes. She took a moment to cry and collect herself. All around her were cozy houses. Most of them were dark but a few had lights on and lots of cars parked in front of them. Those people had phones. Briana knew they’d probably call her mom if she asked.
But then the quest would be a failure and Melody would be sad forever. Gritting her teeth, Briana climbed to her feet, shivering down her entire body. Alanna was warning her that her fingers had turned blue.
“It doesn’t matter.” Briana said. “I’m a knight. I have to do this.” Alanna was worried, but supportive. She always supported Briana, eventually.
When Briana finally made it to the house she had to double-check the address. Not because she’d forgotten it, or had trouble reading it, but because she was so disappointed at what she’d found.
The house was dark, no cars in the driveway. Of course, Beatrix was evil. Evil people don’t host Thanksgiving. They couldn’t make a house full of light and laughter and good food. Beatrix had to go somewhere else and leech off those people’s happy night. Like a joy-vampire. Briana cursed her stupidity.
She stared at the house for a while. It was so sad. Like every year in foster care, or the orphanages. Assuming there even was a Thanksgiving, it was never at home. There wasn’t enough love at home to make a Thanksgiving, or a Christmas. Briana always had to go somewhere else.
“Now I have a home with love in it.” Briana told Alanna. “Melody is part of that home. We have to help her.”
Briana rose to the full height of her pixie-like frame. Her teeth were chattering constantly now and her body wouldn’t stop shivering. She couldn’t feel her hands at all. With Melody’s face in her mind, Briana drew her sword. It took her a moment to make her hand close around the handle. With some work, she held it aloft.
“FOR THE HONOR OF CLOUDLAND!” Briana’s voice rang across the driveway.
The invocation gave her the strength to approach the house. It looked pretty well locked up, but you never knew. One by one, Briana tried the windows on the house. The third one was the charm.
It was a nightmare of sharp ice and physical effort to pull herself up and through the open window. Her arms burned and almost gave out on her. Halfway in, she balanced her belly on the windowsill. She tried to tip gracefully in and fell unceremoniously through. A bedside table came up in her vision way too fast. There was a bright pain in her forehead. Briana’s vision was nothing but stars.
Time was already a big unknown. However long she lay on the floor, bleeding and crying, Briana wasn’t sure. The sheer drafty cold coming through the window was what eventually got her up. It was warmer in the house but cooling off fast. With a grunt, Briana managed to slam the window closed.
Something was warm in her diaper. Briana gingerly touched the wound on her head and dizzily tried to take stock. After a few moments, she wished she hadn’t. As out of it as she was, the effort of closing the window had pushed a little number two out.
“So much for potty training.” Briana wanted to cry again, but was too exhausted to do it. At least Alanna had the good graces to not mention the honor problems in failing her potty training.
Squishing unpleasantly, Briana explored the house. It looked like several people lived there, but her worries about finding the right room were unfounded. It was super, double obvious which room was Beatrix’s.
Expensive stuff was all over the place, sitting out to be as on-display as possible. There were a lot of mirrors in the room. The Evil Queen from Snow White had nothing on Beatrix, Melody’s nemesis even had a mirror on the ceiling over her bed!
Briana limped over to Melody’s computer. She was ready to try guessing passwords like “Beatrix” or “Beautiful” but she didn’t have to. Moving the mouse removed the screensaver and gave her access to the desktop.
Things were finally going Briana’s way, even if sitting in her mess at Beatrix’s desk was pretty gross. The computer’s files were hyper-organized. Totally devoid of shame, Beatrix had a folder labeled “Blackmail – Melody”.
With trembling fingers, Briana opened the folder. What she saw set her crying anew. Pictures of Melody in baby clothes, in a diaper, naked. Her sibling looked SO SAD in all of them. How could Beatrix not look at those pictures and feel terrible?
There was more too. Some small video files that Briana didn’t have the heart to open. A word document with the same name as the folder. Briana shook her head in disgust. A quick search of the desk revealed a thumb drive labeled “Reports – Econ 522”. Popping it into the computer showed it had plenty of space, there were just a few Excel files on a drive with dozens of gigabytes of space.
The entire blackmail folder copied to the thumb drive in pretty quick order. Briana left the folder selected and hovered her finger over the delete key. It would be great to destroy the evidence, but what if Beatrix had a backup? Looking more closely at the pictures, Briana realized they’d been taken on a phone. Not just that, but downloaded from a cloud service.
There wouldn’t be any way to destroy the pictures for good. Briana’s shoulders slumped. Still, she had the proof she needed. She might be little-brained and have a big lump on her head, but she knew this was go to the police type stuff.
“BRIANA!” Her name shouted outside made Briana literally jump out of the chair and crash to the floor.
“BRIANA, ARE YOU IN THERE?” Someone was pounding on the front door.
Briana froze in terror. Was Beatrix here? All bravado about dueling Beatrix fled out of her head in the face of a real physical conflict.
“BRIANA, ANSWER ME IF YOU’RE THERE!”
Of course, it was Mom. Beatrix wouldn’t bang on the door, she’d just come in. It hadn’t sounded like Mom at first. It was way too frantic. Briana’s stomach churned, threatening to push the rest of the mess into her diaper.
She was in big, big trouble.
Hastily, Briana closed the folders, leaving the computer at a blank desktop again. She yanked the thumb drive out of the computer and shoved it into her hoodie pocket.
“BRIANA!”
“I’m here!” Briana yelled, hurrying toward the front door.
“Briana, is that you?” Mom sounded even more frantic, if that was possible. “Open the door, come out of there right now!”
Trouble or no, Briana was ready for this whole nightmare to end. The quest was over, successful even. She was hurt and shivering and her hands were tingling unpleasantly. Her heart was torn in two for Melody. Briana needed her mommy, right now.
It took just a few moments of fumbling with the locks to get the door open. Veronica yanked Briana through the door and into her arms like she was teleporting the girl. Briana clung tightly to her.
“I’m going to close this up from the inside.” Dad said. “No reason to let anyone know that our little girl spiced up her Thanksgiving with B&E.”
“Thank you Jane.” Veronica said.
Somehow, Veronica hoisted Briana up in her arms. It was a shock. Mom never picked her up, she just wasn’t strong enough. Tonight Mom was strong enough not to just pick Briana up, but to carry her all the way to the car and set her in the back seat.
Buckled up and with Veronica next to her, Briana shivered. The car was running, the heater going, but she was cold all the way down inside her bones. The cold was deep inside her chest.
Veronica looked up from her phone as she finished a text. “I just let Melody and the others know that you’re safe. Everyone was really worried for you. Melody especially.”
That was a good feeling, but bad at the same time. Briana hadn’t been trying to make people worried.
Jane climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed her door closed. “Let’s get out of here.”
“What were you doing in there?” Veronica said. “We have a LOT to talk about tonight but what made you break into a house?”
“I got it!” Briana said triumphantly, grabbing the thumb drive and holding it up “I found the proof that Beatrix is bad!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Pictures Mom! Really bad, illegal pictures of Melody.”
Veronica’s eyes hardened. Briana could tell that this particular anger was not directed at her. It was for Beatrix.
“What kind of pictures?” Veronica asked, as Jane pulled away from Beatrix’s house.
“Melody um, naked and in diapers and stuff.” Briana bit her lip as the hurt for her sibling came back. “They look so sad in them Mom, it’s really bad!”
Veronica sighed. “Briana, my darling. I know what you were trying to do, but we can’t use those pictures unless Melody says she didn’t want them taken.”
“They’re in a folder literally labeled Blackmail mom!”
“It’s not illegal to name a folder blackmail.” Veronica rubbed her nose. “Beatrix would also say that we named the folder that.”
“But it’s called that on her computer.”
“She could change it, and anyway, we can’t get access to her computer without a warrant. To get that we’d have to explain that you broke into her house. It would be a lot easier to send you to jail over that than to convict Beatrix.”
Briana felt hot behind her eyes. “But, but I did it. I finished the quest. I s-saved Melody.”
“I…” Veronica took a deep breath. “Your intentions were good but honey, this is why I asked you to let me and Melody handle it. Without their cooperation there is no case. Now you’re potentially in trouble too.”
“But I saved them.” Briana blubbered. “I had to. They can’t be sad forever. They’re my sibling. My big sibling. Please Mommy. Pleaaaase. They have to be okay.”
Mom had no reassurances for her. The rest of the car ride was quiet, except for Briana’s crying. Gary and a couple other people were at the house when they got home, but it was mostly empty. All the happy laughing and warm Thanksgiving was gone.
Veronica permitted only a few quick hugs before taking Briana up to her room. She carefully washed the cut on Briana’s forehead while Jane checked Bri’s extremities and got her out of the wet clothes.
“Are you going to yell at me?” Briana said. She deserved it, was ready for it even.
“No.” Veronica said tiredly. “This is too big for that.”
Briana gulped. “What do you mean?”
“I’m so upset with you Briana. I…” Her fingers trembled and she took a step away, letting Jane finish applying the bandage to Briana’s cut.
“We were all out in the snow looking for you. We didn’t know what had happened, if you were safe, if you were freezing in the snow.” Veronica wrapped her arms around herself, shaking all over now.
“Then we found you – you broke into a house. If the police had found you…” Veronica’s voice cracked. “Briana, they could take you away from me.”
A howl broke out of Briana. She sobbed uncontrollably as Veronica fell to her knees and grabbed her.
“Never again.” Veronica shuddered. “Never again, promise me. Don’t ever run away again Briana. I can’t bear to lose you.”
“I’m sorry mama. I’m sorry.” Briana rocked back and forth, sobbing apologies over and over again. Jane leaned in to hold them both, strong arms steady as a rock. But even Dad’s breathing was rough, there were tears on her cheeks too.
“I need a minute.” Veronica said when Briana’s sobs finally wound down.
“Go ahead.” Jane said gently.
Veronica kissed Briana and slipped out of the room.
“She’ll be right back.” Jane said, pre-empting Briana’s concerns. “She just needs to blow her nose.”
“I’m sorry daddy.” Briana sniffled.
“I know.” Jane said kindly. “Let’s finish getting you cleaned up.”
Dad didn’t usually lift her either, though she’d done it before. She did this time, hefting Briana up and onto her changing table.
“You’re a mess kiddo.” Jane said as she tore Briana’s diaper open.
“I messed up my potty training.”
“That doesn’t matter tonight.” Jane shook her head. “Briana, I need you to really listen to me for a minute, okay?”
“Yes Daddy.”
“Your mom and I love you very much. We are here to help you, and protect you.” Jane wiped away the mess and wet on Briana as she talked with her usual methodical care. “I’m proud that you care about Melody so much. I’m proud that you love your family.”
“But you need to come to us for help with grown up things.” Jane dumped the diaper into the pail, immediately improving the smell in the room. “Part of being a family is working together and relying on each other. I need you to do that with us. Tell us what you want to do to help people. We will make sure you can do it safely.”
Briana took a deep, rattling breath. “I understand. I will. Thanks Dad.”
“I love you so much.” Jane leaned down and kissed Briana on the cheek, fiercely.
“I love you too.” Briana’s heart felt leaden, she’d caused so much pain for people she loved so much.
“You are grounded.” Jane said, calmly but firmly as she put a fresh diaper under Briana. “And potty training is suspended.”
“C-can I still stay the weekend with Gary?” Briana asked with a trembling lip.
“Absolutely not.” Jane said.
Briana sniffled and her breath caught in her chest, but she didn’t cry. It hurt to lose the weekend with Gary, but she knew she deserved it.
“When I say grounded, I don’t mean just to the house. You are grounded to your room until Mom or I say otherwise. We will bring your playpen in here tomorrow morning, and you’ll go between your crib and your playpen unless we take you somewhere else in the house.”
“But, I’ll be all alone.” Briana whimpered, unable to hold tears back at that one.
“We’ll have someone with you a lot of the time, but sometimes it will just be the baby monitor.” Jane said, pulling the tapes tight and crisp across Briana’s diaper.
“Don’t leave me alone.” Briana sobbed.
“This is a punishment, Briana.” Jane said softly. Veronica joined her and nodded her agreement.
“You can and I’m sure will have visitors, but we need to impress on you how serious this is.” Veronica said.
“Mommy!” Briana wailed.
“I will be here every morning when you wake up, and tuck you into bed every night, unless Dad does.” Veronica said gently. “You’ll see me during the day too.”
“Lets get you into your pajamas.” Jane said, bringing Briana’s thickest, fuzziest unicorn pjs.
Briana managed to get her crying under control while she was put to bed, but just barely. She’d resigned herself to crying all night; when Veronica sat down on the edge of Briana’s crib and pulled her dress off her shoulders.
“It’s been so busy today, you haven’t gotten any snacks.” Veronica said lovingly. “How about some warm milk to give you sweet dreams?”
Briana nodded desperately. Jane sat on the other end of the crib, propping Briana up into a lounging posture. Veronica scooted in and brought her breast to Briana’s lips.
Closing her eyes and gently sucking on Veronica’s nipple drove the horrors of the night out of Briana’s mind. By the time she’d finished off both breasts she was sleepy and limp. Exhaustion like she hadn’t known in years sapped everything from her. Briana was asleep as soon as she was tucked in, before Veronica even raised her crib bars.