“Are you sure you’re going to be okay by yourself for the afternoon?” Veronica asked.
Briana nodded. “I’ll be fine. I know I’ve had a lot of little time lately, but I’m feeling a lot better because of it.”
“Alright, I’m trusting you to be good. I asked Melody and they said you could use their Switch. You’ve got snacks in the fridge.” Veronica fussed with Briana’s short hair. “I have a doctor’s appointment and a meeting at school. I’ll be back but not until after dinner time.”
“I’ll be fiiiine.” Briana said, snuggling in to Veronica for a hug.
“I’m sure you will be hon.” Veronica said. Briana was delighted to have her snuggles earn a kiss on the top of her head. Less delightful was Veronica tugging at the waistband of Briana’s skirt.
“Mom! I’m dry, I’m in big kid mode.” Her pullup, because again, she was a big girl this afternoon, was completely dry.
“Just checking.” Veronica smiled fondly. “I’m off, be good.”
Briana nodded and waved as mom headed out the door. Preparing herself with a deep breath, she looked around the house. It had been AGES since she’d been alone.
“Time to finally pay off Tom Nook!” Briana declared, popping into Melody’s room to search for the Switch. She found it quickly enough, next to Melody’s computer which was beeping every few seconds.
Curiosity burned hot and Briana flicked the monitor on before she really thought about what she was doing. Nothing seemed wrong with the computer, there were just a lot of Discord messages coming in.
Briana squirmed. It’d be wrong to look at Melody’s messages, but it’s not like she’d never seen messages pop up when Melody had let her use their computer before. Whatever was going on seemed pretty urgent, three more messages had come in while Briana had hesitated.
Opening up Discord revealed a flood of messages that were all variations on “answer me!” over and over. They were just one or two words each in text-speak abbreviations. Whoever it was, ‘bbXXX’, seemed pretty frantic. Briana hesitated only a little before putting her hands on the keyboard.
- bbXXX – dude answer rn
- Ocarina – Hi, this isn’t Melody. It’s her roommate. Is everything okay?
The flood of messages came to an abrupt stop. Briana bit her lip, hoping she was doing the right thing.
- bbXXX – you surprised me looking 4 Melody
- bbXXX – worried about her
- Ocarina – I think Melody is okay. They should be home soon.
- bbXXX – need to talk to her rl bad
- bbXXX – i always forget how to get there, can u give me address for phone
- Ocarina – You don’t know where she lives?
Briana frowned, wondering if she should tell this person her address. A quick look at the chat history showed it was extensive. The messages went back years, with what looked like at least weekly, sometimes daily messages.
- bbXXX – just bad with directions lol
- bbXXX – got new phone, don’t have places saved address plz
- bbXXX – super important need to talk to her
- bbXXX – plz, i have to say in person
- bbXXX – too important for txt
Briana stared at the screen, chewing on her lip. Something about this seemed off, but it was hard to think. Not as bad as it’d been in the couple of weeks since meeting Tamira’s boyfriend, to be sure. It just felt like there was cotton behind her eyes.
- bbXXX – plz, need to see her right away
- Ocarina – Okay. It’s 1920 DeLarverie Dr.
- bbXXX – thx
- bbXXX – 4 real
- bbXXX – see u soon
Briana blinked as the person signed off immediately. “Wow, they must really need to see Melody.” She shrugged and headed back out to the living room.
There was barely enough time to check her shops and farm the money-rock before Briana’s Animal Crossing session was interrupted by a knock at the door. She wondered who could possibly be knocking. It took an awkwardly long pause and another knock on the door before she remembered the Discord conversation.
“Coming!” Briana hopped up and yanked the door open. There was a model-pretty woman on the other side with curly blonde hair and a cut outfit on. Cuter than Mom would ever let Briana wear, that’s for sure. Since ‘adopting’ her, Veronica had put a stop to crop-tops and mini-skirts. Even Briana’s current outfit of a skirt above the knee and a blouse tied in front had needed negotiation.
“Uh, hi.” Briana said.
“Hey. I’m Beatrix.” Beatrix said with a kind-of scary smile. “Can I come in? It’s hella cold out.”
“Oh, sure.” Briana stepped aside to let Beatrix in. “Did your mom forget to get you your coat?”
“My mom?” Beatrix asked, peering at Briana with a hand on her hip.
“Yeah! Sometimes I go out without a coat but mom usually reminds me to take one.”
Beatrix’s eyes widened. She smiled again, much more friendly than the last smile. “You’ve gotta be Briana, right?”
“Yeah, that’s me!” Briana said, smiling back. “Do you want some hot cocoa? Mom left me a ton of snacks.”
“Yeah, that’d be great.” Beatrix said. “You the only one home right now?”
“Until Melody gets back.” Briana said, heading into the kitchen and putting the electric kettle on.
“When’s that?”
“Maybe like an hour?” Briana shrugged. “Ooh, which mug do you want? I want the kitty one, but you can have any other one except for the one with the poem on it.”
“Let me guess, that’s your mom’s mug?” Beatrix asked. Her eyes were wide and fixed intensely on Briana whenever she met them.
Briana decided that she liked Beatrix. She was obviously a good friend of Melody’s and was perceptive. Best of all she was paying way more attention to her than people usually did.
“She’s the only one that can use it, and she only uses it for tea.”
“You’re a sweet kid, aren’t you Briana?” Beatrix said, lightly brushing a hand through Briana’s hair.
“I think so. Thanks!” Feeling a little self-conscious at the effusive praise, Briana squirmed and stretched. Beatrix’s eyes flashed downward. Following the gaze, Briana realized the waistband of her pullup was showing.
“I have big girl undies on today.” Briana smiled proudly.
“Oh yeah? Let me see.” Despite her bold manner, Beatrix hesitated for a second before grabbing the hem of Briana’s skirt.
Diaper checks were pretty much constant nowadays, so Briana let Beatrix lift her skirt without protest. “See? All the flowers are still on there.”
Beatrix shook her head and laughed. “Good girl, I guess.”
“Yeah!” Briana grabbed the now-boiling kettle and filled the mugs. She handed one to Beatrix who bravely took a sip without waiting for it to cool down.
“So do you wear diapers all the time?” Beatrix asked.
“I’m not wearing one now.” Briana protested.
“But you usually do?”
Briana looked down and blushed slightly. “I always wear them to bed, and sometimes in the day.”
“Does Melody wear them too?”
“She only wears pullups, but she’s wearing them every day now.” Briana said, risking a sip of the hot cocoa.
“Oh yeah? She really likes them huh?”
“I’m not sure, I think so, but she has to wear them because she’s doing mom’s therapy thing.”
“No shit?” Beatrix set her cup down, even more intent on Briana now. “Tell me more.”
“I don’t know exactly how it works but it’s a therapy thing that mom does. She has to wear them for a while to help work out some stuff.”
“That is crazy. Like, legit crazy.” Beatrix chuckled. “You know, she wears them for me too, but not for therapy. She does it because it turns her on.”
“Really?” Briana asked. “They don’t do that for me, but uh, sometimes I do sexy stuff in them.”
“Hah, I bet you do.” Beatrix said, backing Briana up against the kitchen counter. “Cute blush.”
“Oh uh… thanks.” Briana’s heart fluttered, more scared than exited. Something about Beatrix was getting less friendly and more pushy.
“So are you and Melody girlfriends?”
“No. I don’t think she likes me that way.”
“You sure? Mel is pretty dumb about picking up on that kind of…”
The front door opened and Beatrix walked away from Briana in mid-sentence. Briana followed in confusion.
“Let me just get my stuff and we can head back out.” Melody said, shuffling in with their backpack. A strong looking woman was behind them. Melody’s face twisted in fear as soon as they caught sight of Beatrix.
“Where the FUCK have you been Mel?” Beatrix shouted, the sheer fury in her voice driving Melody back a step and sending Briana scampering back to the kitchen doorway.
“Bea? What are you doing here?”
“Who’s this bitch?” Beatrix waved a hand aggressively at Rosa. “You don’t quit this, Mel. NOBODY quits this!”
“Who the fuck are you?” Rosa asked, squaring her shoulders.
Melody looked horrified, their face had drained of all color. “Rosa, uh, can you like, bounce for a second. I’m super sorry about this…”
“What the hell is going on Melody?” Rosa asked. She tried to push past Melody, her expression turning to shock and hurt when Melody pushed back.
“I’m really sorry but can you just go…”
“Yeah, get out of here, bitch.” Beatrix had advanced within grabbing range of Melody, and didn’t hesitate to grab their jeans and yank downward. She didn’t have the angle to pull Mel’s pants down, but a big chunk of Melody’s blue pullup was exposed. “My little diaper dolly and I need to have a talk.”
Panic was written across Melody’s face as they flailed out of Beatrix’s grip. “I’m so sorry babe I will text you please go.” They stammered and shoved Rosa out the door, closing it.
There was a shouted, “What the fuck!” From the other side of the door and then the sound of someone angrily stomping away.
Briana stared in horror, wishing there was something she could do to help Melody. Fear and guilt churned in her stomach.
“What are you even doing here?” Melody asked. “Why are you in my house?”
“The other diaper-baby let me in.” Beatrix smirked. “Now, let’s talk about how you’re going to apologies for ignoring me.”
“Apologize? What are you talking about…” Melody squeaked as Beatrix pushed them up against the wall. They were squirming in what was clearly a potty-dance.
“Remember? You’re my diaper dolly. Except you’re going to have to do a LOT of work to get back to seeing me naked.” Beatrix grabbed Melody’s ear and twisted.
“STOP IT!” Briana shrieked. “You’re hurting her!”
Beatrix turned slowly to Briana. It was the coldest look Briana had ever seen. She whimpered and backed up another step.
“You see? She’s pissed all over herself.” Beatrix whipped out her phone and snapped a picture. “You’re turning into the same thing. You think you can date a regular girl? No way. You’re my diaper dolly or you’re just jilling off.”
Briana looked down at the wet patches on her skirt and the streaks down her legs. She fell to her knees and wailed, tears flowing down her cheeks.
“Leave her alone.” Melody said.
“You don’t give orders, remember?” Beatrix grabbed Melody’s crotch. “Pretty warm, diaper dolly. You peed too, huh?”
“I said leave her alone!” Melody looked more angry than scared now. Briana’s surprise was nothing to the shock on Beatrix’s face when Melody pushed her away with enough force to make her stumble.
“Just, get out. Don’t ever talk to me ever again.” Melody’s eyes were full of tears but they still looked angry and determined.
“You don’t want to do this. I have that whole photoshoot, remember? You think I can’t find out who your girltoy was? Hell, I’ll set up a fucking Only Fans for you.” Beatrix’s tone was harsh, hateful.
“Bea, get out of my house before I either break your nose or call the cops.” Melody said, their fists balled up and shoulders shaking.
“You little…” Beatrix’s breath came fast, her face a mask of rage. “Fine, you’re done. You’re done here, online, at school, everywhere. You fucked up, diaper baby. You fucked up bad.”
“GET. OUT.” Melody yanked the door open.
Beatrix stormed out. Melody slammed the door and locked it. They sank to the floor, silently crying.
Briana sniffled and watched Melody for a few minutes. Tentatively, she crawled over to her roommate.
“M-melody. I’m suh-sorry. I thought she was your friend.”
“Doesn’t matter now.” Melody said, shuddering with another silent sob.
“I’m really sorry!” Briana wailed. “I… I didn’t know that was going to happen!”
“Briana…” Melody shook their head. “Just… forget it for now.” They sounded terrible, flat, beyond sad.
Guilt threatened to crush Briana, but she pushed it aide in the face of Melody’s sadness. For lack of anything better to do, she reached out and wrapped her arms around her roommate. Surprisingly, Melody hugged back tightly.
“I just couldn’t let her bully you.” Melody said softly into Briana’s shoulder.
“It’s my fault.” Briana said, sniffling. She couldn’t believe that Melody was still being nice to her after what she’d done.
“She’s a horrible bully.” Melody said, raising her head and wiping her eyes. “Believe me, I know.”
“And I brought her here.” Briana whimpered. “Melody, I’m so sorry.”
“I know.” Melody patted Briana’s back. “Let’s get you cleaned up okay?”
“No! You don’t hafta take care of me after what I did. I’ll figure it out on my own. I’m being a big girl today anyway.”
“Not in those potty-pants you aren’t.” Melody said, surprising Briana with a chuckle.
“You’re really not mad at me?” Briana asked in a whisper.
“I really wish you hadn’t brought Beatrice over.” Melody said. “But I know how she is. She’s a really good liar. A lot of stuff sucks right now but it also felt good to tell her off.”
“But what about all the stuff she said she was going to do?”
“I think she’ll calm down.” Melody said. “I guess I have to start talking to her again, but I’m sure she knows she was getting a little crazy.”
“Really?” Briana asked, peering skeptically at Melody.
“Oh, calming her down is going to suck too.” Melody said with a shrug. “Maybe I did go to far this time, maybe not. But either way, we can’t change it now. What we can change is your pullup.”
“You’re all kinds-a more confidant and stuff since you changed your pronouns.” Briana nuzzled close to Melody, wishing they were a big sibling for her instead of just a roommate.
“Is that right?”
“Yeah, you’re different than when you moved in.”
“Thanks kiddo.” Melody kissed Briana on top of her head, just like Veronica! Briana squirmed extra close to get every last bit of snuggles out before she had to go get changed.
Lying on the changing table, Briana let her mind drift away while Melody applied their now-expert changing skills. There had to be something she could do to fix the problems she made for her big… for Melody. First thing she could do was be a good girl for Melody, so she didn’t object when her pullup was replaced with a diaper. Even when Melody swapped out her cute blouse and skirt for a onesie, Briana didn’t make a fuss.
When Melody lead her to the playpen though, Briana felt she had to say something. “Melody, I wanna play Animal Crossing. I don’t need to be in my playpen.”
“Briana, I said I wasn’t mad at you, and I’m not, but I think you know you screwed up. Don’t make me put you in an actual time out.”
Pouts and puppy-dog eyes were powerful weapons in Briana’s arsenal, and she’d used them effectively against Melody before. Unfortunately just the thought of turning on the baby-charm on Melody made her feel guilty. With a sigh, she climbed over the wall of the playpen and picked up one of her stuffies.
“You won’t leave me alone in here, will you?”
“Naw.” Melody said. “I’m going to be on my phone for a bit though, I have to see if I can fix things with Rosa.”
Briana nodded, and flopped down on the pen’s padded floor. She was good at make-believe, super good! So good that she pretended to play-pretend with her stuffies and watched Melody while they texted.
It didn’t look like it was going well. There were a lot of creases in Melody’s brow, even some tears in her eyes at one moment. Briana wished with all her heart that she could fix things, or say something to help Melody, but there was nothing. Very quietly, so that Melody wouldn’t notice, she cried. Beartholomew was kind enough to wipe away the tears with his fuzzy brown paw.
The afternoon had been a lot. Though she wanted to be there for Melody, Briana found herself waking from a nap with Veronica crouched down next to her.
“Wake up sleepy-head. I hear you had a rough afternoon.”
Briana nodded sadly. “I did a bad thing. I didn’t mean to though! But it was still really bad for Melody.”
“She told me a little bit about what happened. Why don’t you tell me your side of things?”
Veronica sat next to the playpen with it’s side folded down and listened while Briana went through her story. She tried to stress her good intentions in answering the Discord messages, and talking to Beatrice, but she knew it sounded bad.
“Honey, I think we need to talk about rules a little bit. I didn’t think I needed to tell you this, but you can’t invite people over when you don’t have someone from the house or a babysitter here.”
“Not anybody?” Briana frowned. “But you said I could still see my friends.”
“You can see them when I’m here, or when one of your other roommates are here. What happened this afternoon has me really worried about your judgement.”
Briana sighed but nodded. “Okay Mom.”
Veronica smiled, one of her secret radiant smiles that she only shared with Briana and Dad. “I was hoping you’d still be thinking like a big girl when I got back. There’s something I want to talk to you about, even more so because of what happened today. It’s a talk for a big girl.”
“I can do it!” Briana said, sitting up and wishing her diaper wouldn’t crinkle so loud. “I’ll pay attention, and really listen, I promise.”
“I need more than that for the talk though.” Veronica said. “I need you to make a decision, and it’s a big girl decision. You had some pretty bad decisions today. How are you feeling right now?”
Briana looked down at her crossed legs and considered that seriously. It was true that she was having trouble thinking about anything. Especially grown-up stuff. But if she was being honest with herself, and her guilt over Melody was forcing her to be honest, she also hadn’t tried very hard. As soon as things felt fuzzy, she’d gone with her instincts instead of really thinking things out.
She looked Veronica in the eyes, and forced all the kiddy-tone out of her voice. “I can handle a serious talk, Mom. I’m listening and present.”
“That was much more grown up.” Veronica said, cupping Briana’s cheek. “Is it hard for you to do?”
Briana nodded, with the added benefit of nuzzling Veronica’s hand. “Yes, but I can do it for a while.”
“Very good.” Veronica took Briana’s hand and lead her up to her bedroom suite.
She sat in her office chair and pulled Briana into her lap, just as she had at the start of the therapy sessions. It seemed so long ago, but the memories came rushing back. Crying on Veronica’s lap in a wet diaper. Feeling like nothing could get fixed. Finally trusting Veronica to help her, and eventually to be her mom.
It was a big chunk of emotions all at once, especially after the afternoon. Briana wiped her damp eyes and tried to keep thinking clearly.
“It’s emotional coming back to this spot, isn’t it?” Veronica asked.
“Yes.” Briana paused while she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. “It was really hard to trust you, really scary. I wanted you to help me, really badly. What you were asking was scary though. Not just the trust but also doing something that people would think was weird.”
“You are doing so well with this right now. I’m really proud of you.” Veronica gently smoothed Briana’s hair. “Not only are you articulate, but you’ve correctly guessed what we’re going to talk about. This is about continuing your therapy.”
“We haven’t been really uh, deliberate about it in a while.” Briana said, nodding.
“That’s true. I’ve been letting you use your little-time as a comfort, a way to blow off steam and recover. I think you may have gotten kind of tangled up in switching back and forth though.”
“I was doing okay for a while, but having little time with Gary at school got confusing.” Briana said. It wasn’t until the words left her mouth that she remembered she’d never told Mom about Gary’s additions to the game.
“What’s this?” Veronica sounded firm, but Briana was sure she could wiggle out of answering. That is, if she were still little she could. Unfortunately, a big girl would answer the question.
“Um, he set up changing stuff and some coloring books and stuff in his office. So that I could come by and play.” Briana bit her lip. “Don’t be mad at him! He likes to play with me that way, and I didn’t say no!”
“Hmm.” Veronica didn’t look like she was going to cooperate on not being mad at Gary. Before Briana could plead his case again, Veronica continued. “I can see how that might have lead to some of your problems, but I think he probably only accelerated something that was going to happen anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, in the extreme version of the therapy, the patient has an emotional crisis and then sharply regresses.” Veronica searched Briana’s eyes, and nodded, apparently satisfied that she was still paying attention. “Like you did. The journey back up is supposed to be gradual, but you snapped back out of it pretty quickly.”
“Isn’t that good? You said you were proud of me?” Briana asked tentatively.
“I am proud of you.” Veronica said emphatically. “But we’re doing field research on this in real-time. I think you missed out on a clean transition out of being a baby, and it has you stuck flipping between states.”
“So that’s why it’s hard for me not to be little right now?”
“I think so.”
“And… it’s bad for me to be little?” Briana twisted her hands in her lap.
“Briana, sweetheart.” Veronica kissed her on the cheek. “I love you, and I love having you for a daughter. I like taking care of you when you’re little, but I want it to be your choice, not something you can’t help.”
“So even if I never HAD to be little again, I could still…”
“Be my baby girl, get your diapers changed, and get tucked in to your crib with a story?” Veronica said. “Yes.”
The sigh Briana let out released a weight on her chest she hadn’t realized was there. “Okay, so um, what do you think we should do? Or uh, what does the therapy call for?”
“Going back to being a baby, and transitioning out of it slowly, step by step so that it feels like a natural progression.”
“But, last time I had to be really upset to um, be mentally there.” Briana said. She found herself fidgeting and kicking her legs, and willed herself to stop. The brain-fog was creeping back in. She thought she could hold it together for the rest of the conversation, but hopefully that wouldn’t be too long.
“Yes, but you’re having similar cognitive confusion.” Veronica said. “I also have a sensate-trigger that should help you regress back. Ultimately though, you making a choice to give in to a regressed mental state and surrendering to that cognitive mode may be the key to you being able to choose to not be little when you need to.”
Briana didn’t answer right away. The words Veronica was using seemed to be getting longer and more tricky. After going over Veronica’s words a couple of times, she felt confident that she knew what she wanted to say.
“Yes please.” Briana said, making calm, purposeful eye contact. “I hate being stuck where I can think but not well. I trust you Mom. And um, being a baby sounds kind of nice right now.”
“You’re sure?” Veronica asked. “We are talking about no more adult privileges until you get mentally old enough to have them back. No more privacy, and no more using the toilet.”
“After what I did today, it’s not like I deserve any adult stuff anyway.” Briana said sadly.
“This isn’t a punishment.” Veronica said. “You have to choose to do it, not be forced.”
Briana stuck her tongue out at Veronica. “You couldn’t just let me pretend it’s a punishment?”
“Briana…”
“I know, I know.” Briana sighed. “Having to be grown up and take responsibility is the real punishment. I’ll be a baby again. But um, I don’t know how to just go back to that.”
“Well, like I said, I have a certain trigger that I think will do it for you.” Oddly, Veronica’s voice cracked a little. Briana looked at her mom and was surprised to see uncertainty, maybe even embarrassment in her face.
“Um, are you okay?”
“This is just very personal.” Veronica said softly. “It’s a big thing for me to ask of you, and I feel selfish for asking. I really, genuinely think of you as my daughter. But I know I’m not, actually.”
“What!?” Briana surprised them both by the amount of upset in her voice. “You said you were, I asked you and you said you would be my mom.”
“Oh honey, I’m sorry.” Veronica bit her lip and clasped Briana’s hands. “That’s not what I meant. I just don’t want to assume that you’re as attached as I am. I don’t want to take anything away from you.”
“Mom…” Briana took a deep breath. “Mommy. I love you. I never had a real mom until you.”
She squeezed Veronica’s hands tightly. “You’re my real mommy.”
Caught off guard and with her hands pinned, Veronica couldn’t catch the tears that welled in her eyes. From her expression she didn’t seem to mind, even as two uncharacteristically messy trails of black eyeliner darkened her cheeks.
“Thank you, sweetie. My Briana.” Veronica kissed Bri gently on the forehead. “I guess I should tell you the trigger now. It’s one of the most primal, baby things a person experiences. You’d be breastfeeding. From me. Obviously, I can’t completely feed you like I could a tiny baby but I’ve been doing treatments and…”
Veronica’s words faded into a roar of sound that washed over Briana’s ears. She stared at Veronica as the world disappeared into a tunnel that left only her Mom’s face in front of her. Something quivered inside her, threatening to scatter her thoughts to the winds.
“Mommy.” Briana interrupted, attempting to touch Veronica’s cheek but more-pawing it instead. “I’m hungry.”
“Oh.” Veronica chuckled. “You’re sure you want to…”
A very little-brained giggle welled up in Briana. She patted Veronica’s chest. “I didn’t have dinner cause I was asleep.”
“Well, we better get you fed then.” Veronica said. She lead an impatient and squirmy Briana to the bedroom, sitting on the bed and laying Briana across her lap.
Briana watched raptly as Veronica unbuttoned her shirt and unclasped her maternity bra. When Veronica cradled her back to lift her into position, a massive shiver ran down her body. They both hesitated for a moment. Briana put her mouth firmly on Veronica’s nipple.
The taste was sweet and deeply comforting in a way that a bottle of formula had never been. Briana peeked up to see if Mommy was crying again, but instead she saw a pure glow of contentment on Veronica’s face.
Closing her eyes, Briana let the same glowing expression overtake her as she sucked away on her dinner. The fog came crashing down into her brain, and she let it in without resisting. There wasn’t any need for thinking. She was wrapped on all sides by her mommy’s love.
As her last choice for a while, Briana let herself fall down deep into little-space. All the way down, to soft comfortable bottom of the well that she’d only touched before while in extreme distress. Now she let herself be carried gently by it, be welcomed by it.