Briana caught herself doodling on her lab report for the third time. It was a pretty cute kitty at least, unlike the weird bird she’d tried to draw earlier. But that wasn’t the point! She shook her head to clear it, to no avail. Her eyes slid off the numbers without making sense of them.
“Are you okay Briana?”
Briana looked up at her lab mate, Hakam. He had funny glasses on, all thick and super bright red. She grinned at him, then bit her lip when his question sank in.
“Uh, I dunno, I’m having trouble thinking.”
“Are you sick, or just a late night last night?” Hakam asked, chuckling.
“Oh no, I went to bed even before my bedtime last night.” Briana said confidently.
“Oh-okay.” Hakan shrugged. “Well, this isn’t due until Monday anyway – you want to just meet on the weekend to finish?”
“Sure!” Briana nodded brightly. “I won’t draw kitties all over it then, promise.”
“You sure you’re okay?” Hakan asked. “I could drive you home, or call one of your roommates or something.”
“No, it’s okay, I just can’t concentrate. Not sure why.”
“Well, feel better then.” Hakan packed his notes into his bag with a frown. Whatever was bothering him, Briana hoped it got better soon.
After making sure that each of the margins of the lab report had at least two kitty faces, Briana wandered out of the chemistry building. It was a crisp fall day, with most of the leaves in big piles along the walkways. A little too crisp, really. Briana snuggled up in her coat, enjoying the warmth that wrapped her torso, and even extended down her legs.
The campus was always beautiful in the fall, especially near The Grove where a big mass of trees blocked off the city from view. The walk was marred by the fact that every group of people she passed stopped talking and stared at her. It got worse when her legs went from warm to uncomfortable and cold.
Briana looked down and whimpered, biting her lip. A huge wet patch spread from her crotch and down the insides of her legs. The wet was all the way down to the cuff of her jeans! Tears welled up in Briana’s eyes – bad memories of accidents on campus crowding their way into her thoughts.
Help! She needed help! Gary was in class right now, everyone else was far away at home… but Tamira’s dorm was close! Briana sprinted across the lawn, her wet jeans making a zip-zop sound with each stride.
At the door to Tamira’s dorm, Briana frantically pushed the intercom. Nothing was happening, other than a faint buzzing from the panel. Briana whimpered, feeling the wet spreading across the back of her pants. She kept at the button until finally, she heard Tamira’s voice!
“Hey, lay off the button!”
“Tamira! Tamira, it’s Briana!”
“Oh shit honey, are you okay?”
“I had a… I need help!”
The door buzzed open, and Briana ducked inside. She scurried across the lobby and up the stairs, feeling the squish in her socks now. Tamira already had her door ajar. Briana burst through the door and crashed into Tamira. The two of them staggered back, with Tamira breaking out of Briana’s desperate grasp to close the door and slam the deadbolt.
“Woah girl! Somebody chasing you? Do we need to call the cops?”
“No, I uh, I didn’t know what to do, and Gary is teaching a class, and Mom is busy, and everyone is out of the house and I, I…” Briana’s words tumbled out between panting breaths that left her light-headed.
“Slow down girl, deep breath, come on.”
Briana nodded, and managed a deep, shuddering breath, followed by a little sob.
“Tell me what’s wrong, honey.”
“I hada accident.” Briana whimpered, tears spilling down her cheeks.
Tamira blinked, and looked down at Briana’s legs. She pursed her lips and nodded. “Okay, okay, just keep breathing, I can help you out.”
“Thank you Tamira I didn’t know what to do and there wasn’t anybody to call and I know I’m not supposed to get other people involved but everyone was going to see and last time everybody was so mean and…”
“Briana!” Tamira grabbed the panicking girl in a tight embrace.
It helped a little, some of the panic was dying down. A few deep breaths and the spots were vanishing from her vision too. “Thank you, cu-can I sit down?”
“Um, let’s get you into the bathroom. This is kind of an awkward time.” Tamira guided Briana through the nearby bathroom door, and gently sat her on the toilet.
“What? What’s the…” Briana looked at Tamira again and blinked. There was a lot more skin showing than usual. Tamira was in a bra and panties, and not just ‘round the house’ ones. They were lacy, with the seafoam green perfectly offsetting her friend’s dark skin.
“My boyfriend is here and I finally got him to try that thing. But don’t worry honey, I’ll help you out. I just don’t think he can handle seeing someone else right now. Or someone seeing him, really.”
Briana’s eyes went wide. Tamira’s boyfriend wasn’t going to want to play in diapers with her any more, and it was all her fault! A huge sob rippled up from her belly and came out loud and ugly. She pressed her face to her knees, tears streaming into the already wet denim.
“I’m sorry Tamira, I’m sorry I messed it up for you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
“Woah, Briana, what’s going on? Hon, nobody is mad at you!”
“I need my mommy! Please, please call my mommy.” Briana hugged her knees and squinched her eyes closed as tight as she could.
“Okay hon, I am going to help you. Nothing is ruined, I promise. I’m going to check on Arthur, and be right back here. I think you need a second. Just sit there and keep breathing.”
Briana sniffled, as wet and miserable as she could remember being since… since that time she didn’t think about any more. With her eyes closed, she couldn’t see or remember those two bad days again. The door slammed on her memories of accidents at school but the effort left her heart heavy.
She was still crying when Tamira got back. Nothing was said, just a hand on her back, rubbing in slow circles. Eventually the tears dried up, leaving behind hiccups.
“Everything is fine hon. Arthur is fine, I’m fine, and you’re going to be fine, okay?”
“But I messed up three times! *hic* I had an accident at school, *hic* and then I messed up your playtime, *hic* and also I’m not supposed to be little around you.”
“You’re not supposed to be little around me? Little how?”
“I can’t… I don’t know how to… *hic* I’m little, I can’t… Mommy!”
“Woah girl, deep breaths, remember?” She brushed Briana’s hair out of her eyes and gently stroked her head.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“Briana, are you not able to be an adult right now?”
“No! I mean, y-yes.”
“Oh honey, you must be so scared. It’s okay, I’m going to take care of you and find your mom, okay?”
“Really?” Briana peeked over her arm. Tamira’s face was friendly, full of genuine concern. A nice mommy-face, even if it wasn’t her mommy.
“Of course. I’m your friend, right? Remember, I said you could come here if you had uh, potty problems.”
“That’s why I came.” Briana nodded.
“Then why are you so upset?” Tamira smiled gently. “You’re fine. I’m going to get you cleaned up, okay?”
“Okay.” Briana sniffed, and wiped her nose, dragging a huge trail of snot across her arm.
“I have to go get the supplies and stuff, they’re in the bedroom with Arthur.”
“No, don’t leave!” Briana grabbed Tamira’s arm. “I’ll come with you.”
Tamira sighed. “Honey, I don’t think that Arthur…”
“Tammy, it’s okay.” A deep male voice sounded through the bathroom door.
“Arthur?” Tamira glanced over at the door.
“Sorry, I got curious, uh, I think it’s okay. She sounds pretty freaked out and uh, little and whatever. I don’t want her to be more upset.”
“Okay, we can take a break.” Tamira said, wincing regretfully. “Do you want to change first or…”
“No I mean um… it’s fine, okay? It’s fine we’ll just uh… do the thing.”
Tamira sat still for a moment, staring at the door in puzzlement. Briana watched her, too foggy-brained to be sure what was going on, but glad that Tamira wasn’t leaving her alone in the cold bathroom again.
“Are you telling me that we’re still playing?”
After a pause, a quieter reply came back, “Uh, yeah, we are.”
“In that case, little boy, you know better than to be listening at doors.”
There was a very sheepish-sounding squeak from the other side of the door. Briana giggled.
“Go back to the bedroom, we’ll be there in a minute. You behave, hear?”
“Yes mommy.”
Tamira turned back to Briana. “Are you sure you want me to change you with Arthur watching? I’ll have to take your clothes off.”
Briana frowned at Tamira. “How else would you change me?”
“It doesn’t bother you if he sees you naked?”
Briana shook her head. “Not if it’s just your kid.”
Tamira gave Briana her ‘interested scientist’ face, searching the girl’s eyes for something. Whatever it was, Briana wished Tamira would figure it out, and change her already.
“You’re a sweet kid Briana.” Tamira said, kissing her friend on the forehead. “Okay, take my hand, we’re going to get you changed.”
Gratefully, Briana slipped her fingers into Tamira’s and waddle-walked to the bedroom. The jeans had lost a lot of their give, every step was stiff, clammy, and gross. The bedroom was small, like any dorm, but it had a bed with a big fluffy polka-dot blanket on it. There were some baby toys on the floor, but it was Arthur that caught Briana’s eye and froze her in the doorway.
He was huge! Bigger than Casey even. Like Tamira, he wasn’t wearing much. From his short-cropped dark hair, down to his huge bare feet he was wearing only one thing. A diaper. A big, shiny white diaper. She felt Tamira tug her hand, and stumbled into the room, still staring. He might be huge, but his eyes had a cautious shyness that Briana recognized instantly.
“Hi Arthur, I’m Briana.” She said, with all the little-gravitas the moment demanded.
“Hi Briana.” Arthur pulled some of the blanket up to cover his diaper. “Uh, nice to meet you?”
“Yeah!” Briana said, with genuine excitement that wiped away the last of the crying feeling.
Arthur chuckled and smiled bashfully. “Cool.”
“I’m glad you two like each other, but we need to get you cleaned up, Briana. Lie down on the blanket here.”
“Okay!” Briana dropped onto a changing blanket with a happy sigh. Things were starting to feel familiar again.
While Tamira stripped off her shoes, socks, and jeans, Briana grabbed one of the plastic ring toys and amused herself by sliding the rings around each other. Sometimes they got stuck, but that wasn’t a problem for a smart girl like her!
Some rustling on the bed heralded Arthur’s face peeking over the edge. His expression as he watched Briana play was weird, like he was sad, or curious, or puzzled. Naked from the waist down and unconcerned, Briana grinned up at Arthur.
“Wanna play?”
“You’re getting changed.” Arthur said, cautiously.
“Yeah but it takes forever.” Briana said. In a sudden burst of generosity, she held the plastic rings out to Arthur, “Here, you can play with this one if you want!”
Weirdly, Arthur looked at the rings almost like he was afraid of them. Briana resolved not to make fun of him. Mom would be proud! It took a while, but he reached out tentatively and took the rings out of Briana’s grasp. He swung the rings around, watching the red, blue, and yellow spin around on the larger purple ring. At first he seemed bored, but his face broke in to a sudden, goofy grin.
“Thanks Briana.” Arthur worked the red ring carefully through the yellow one.
“Sharing makes playing more fun!” Briana said brightly. She grabbed a couple of plastic blocks and banged them together. They made exactly as satisfying a clacking noise as she’d hoped.
“Well, you two don’t seem to be fussed, and Briana, all your clothes could use some cleaning. Let me get your shirt and I’ll put it all in the wash for you.”
“Okay!” Briana raised her arms and let Tamira strip her shirt, and after some deliberation, her bra.
As soon as Tamira was out of the room, Arthur seemed unsure again. The thought made Briana wish for her own mommy. Biting her lip to keep back the sad thoughts, she sat up and hugged Arthur’s arm.
“It’s okay, she’ll be back soon. I’ll keep you company.”
Arthur looked at Briana in shock, then laughed deeply. The rumbly laugh climbed in pitch until it was a giggle.
“You uh, know how to play really good.”
Briana nodded. “Yeah, I can help you if you need it! I always wanted another kid to play with.” Somehow that thought touched something even darker than the school-accident memories. A deep, dark nasty place that Briana flinched away from with wild eyes.
“Aww, well come up here then.” Arthur flexed that big arm, hoisting Briana up onto the bed like she was made of paper.
“Oh my god!” Briana giggled, squirming over to Arthur and pouncing on his broad chest while he giggled “That was fun! Can I see your diaper?”
Arthur chewed on his lip, crossing his legs nervously when Briana patted the bulky padding around his crotch.
“It’s uh, only the second time for me wearing one.”
“It’s pretty!” Briana declared. “It’s all white but it’s shiny and fits you super good.”
“Yeah, Tamira did a good job putting it on.”
“That’s how a good mom does it, like my mom.”
Arthur smiled shyly. “I’m still kind of getting used to all this stuff.”
“Do you think we can play more, like, after today?” Briana asked. “I have lots of fun games and stuff at my house.”
“You play like this there a lot?”
“Yeah, almost every day!”
“Briana!” Tamira’s voice came sharp from the doorway, making both littles start and duck their heads sheepishly. “What are you doing up on the bed? You still need to be cleaned up.”
“We were playing!” Briana said defiantly.
“Yeah Mom, we were having fun!” Arthur said, in a light voice that had lost it’s rumble.
Tamira looked at the two of them with her hands on her hips and laughed. “I’m going to have to wash that comforter, but not for the reason I thought I was going to have to.”
Briana looked at Arthur. His mouth was pursed and his cheeks were puffed, his eyes twinkling. The laugh burst out of Briana first, then Arthur. The two of them dissolved into giggles.
The giggle fit continued well into Tamira relocating the changing blanket to the bed, and sponging Briana clean. While Briana was getting powdered and into a clean diaper, she and Arthur tried inventing some new patty-cake songs. It didn’t go very well, they kept missing and smushing each other’s faces, but it was fun! Briana felt lighter and happier than she had in ages. Little-er too. She’d forgotten all about the time, happy to be baby-sat with her new friend.
“Briana, that’s your phone I think.” Tamira said, breaking Briana’s concentration. That got her another huge Arthur palm to the face.
“Okay, thanks Tamira.” Briana said, ignoring the jingle and going back to the game. Happily, Tamira took care of it.
“Hi there, Veronica? Yeah, this is Tamira, I’m a study-buddy for Briana.” There was a pause, then, “Chill back, Briana is fine, let me just ask you something. Are you Briana’s mom?”
Briana looked up, and grinned. “Mom will be here soon!” She confided in Arthur.
Arthur had only a flicker of unease before he answered Briana’s grin. “Cool. But will you have to go home?”
“Probably.” Briana said. “But I bet we can play again.”
“Yeah, we should.” Arthur nodded.
Meanwhile, Tamira was still talking on the phone. Briana’s ears pricked up at the sound of her name. “Briana is fine, in a manner of speaking. She’s very little right now. No, don’t worry about it, it’s a funny story and… are you driving?”
Tamira frowned at the phone. “Woman, she is just fine. Do not get a in a wreck on the way here. She’s playing with another kid and she’s happy and clean. I’ve got her clothes in the wash. Yeah, don’t worry about it. I’ll make them a snack or something.”
“Ooh!” Arthur said, his stomach rumbling.
“What do you get for snack?” Briana asked.
“I don’t know, she never made me snack before when I was uh, like this.”
“A surprise!” Briana said, grinning.
“Your mom is on the way,” Tamira said, sitting down on the bed. “I see you two didn’t miss the part about a snack. If you want to go to the living room, I’ll put on a show and make you something, okay?”
“Okay!” Briana hopped up, bouncing off the bed.
Arthur got up more gingerly, sitting on the edge of the bed and blushing.
“You okay?” Briana asked.
Tamira peeked in the waistband of Arthur’s diaper, deepening his blush. “Need a change, hon?”
“Not yet… I mean uh, no, but I kinda…”
“Arthur, come on!” Briana said, “If you don’t need to be changed then let’s go watch Kipo!”
Tamira eyed Arthur in amusement, watching him get up and take little steps to follow Briana.
Those little steps put him just about Briana’s pace, or they would have if she wasn’t trying to run to the TV. With a lot of tugging on her new friend’s wrist, Briana finally managed to get Arthur to plop his diapered butt down next to hers, in front of the TV.
“Your mom has Netflix, right?” Briana asked. When there was no answer, she looked up at Arthur, who had a kind of worried, scrunchy look on his face. “What’s wrong?”
“I uh… um… potty.”
“Oh, okay.” Briana shrugged. “Tamira can help you in a sec, she’s super good at it. But does she have Netflix? Kipo is on Netflix.”
Arthur’s face suddenly relaxed, worry replaced by another deep blush. “Uh, yeah she does. Um, what’s Kipo?”
“You haven’t seen KIPO?” Briana stared at Arthur with wide, shocked eyes. He blinked back at her, the blush slowly fading in the face of Briana’s intense surprise.
“No?”
“Oh my god we have to watch it.” Briana furiously attacked the remote, getting the TV onto Netflix with just a few wrong presses. The shows were all boring adult stuff, but the search got her to the bright colors of Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts.
Arthur squirmed next to Briana but seemed to settle down well when the first episode started. Briana had seen this one like a hundred times, but it was still fun. It was cool to hear soft oohs and giggles from Arthur as he watched the show.
Snacks came in the form of pizza-bagels, which Briana totally remembered to thank Tamira for, after the first three had been gulped down.
“Somebody had a bit of an accident.” Tamira said, tugging at Arthur’s diaper in surprise.
“Ummm…” He blushed and shoved another pizza bagel in his mouth to keep from having to talk.
“You okay, baby?” Tamira asked, stroking Arthur’s side. He licked his lips and seemed like he was getting a different kind of blushy. The kind of blushy that Briana felt around Gary.
She grinned, excited for her friend. On further thought, she blushed a bit as well. Hopefully they weren’t going to do those kinds of things with her sitting right there…
A knock on the door saved Briana from having to decide if she would be okay by herself or if Tamira and Arthur should pause their sexy-times. Tamira opened it, and let Veronica past her after the briefest of greetings.
Veronica rushed up to Briana and crouched down, stroking Briana’s cheek. “Sweetie, are you okay?”
Briana rolled her eyes, of course she was okay. “Yeah Mom! This is Arthur, we played, and then we watched Kipo. He’d never seen Kipo before, so we started on the first episode.”
Veronica sighed and shook her head. She took the scene in, including the suddenly-hesitant Arthur.
“Hello Arthur. I’m Briana’s mom. Did you have a good time with Briana today?”
“Uh, yeah.” Arthur said, squirming in his squishy diaper.
“Were you a good girl Briana? Did you share and play nice?”
“Yeah!” Briana nodded vigorously at Veronica.
“Thank you so much Tamira, I’m sorry that this intruded on your afternoon, or scene.”
“Don’t worry about it. It ended up being a good thing. Can I get your number? I think it’d be fun to do a play-date at some point.”
“Here’s my card.” Veronica said, fishing one out of her purse. “But Briana is… special, it’s not the same kind of playing for her.”
“Well, it was magical for Arthur, wasn’t it kiddo?”
Arthur ducked his head bashfully but peeked up with a tiny smile.
“I think we can probably do that.” Veronica said. “Are her clothes dry yet?”
“They should be pretty close.”
Briana leaned against Arthur. “Come play at my house okay?”
Arthur nodded. “Okay, sounds fun.”
“I have a friend Melody who lives there too, she’s fun to play with.” Briana bounced excitedly on the floor.
“Okay, okay.” Arthur laughed. “I said I’d go.”
“But you gotta convince your mom, in case she changes her mind.”
The conversation was cut short by the arrival of Briana’s blouse, warm from the dryer, unceremoniously stuffed over her head by Veronica. Briana squirmed into the blouse, and helped get the jeans up over her diaper.
“Thank you again, Tamira.” Veronica said, holding Briana close.
“No worries, she’s a friend, I was happy to help.”
“Say goodbye, Briana.”
Briana sighed. She was sad, but she’d already cried a lot today, over way bigger stuff than this. With a resolute expression, she waved at Arthur, and belatedly at Tamira.
“Bye bye!”
“Bye!” Arthur said.
“See you later hon.” Tamira said, walking them to the door. “And thanks for… jumpstarting things.”
“Huh?” Briana asked.
“Never mind, I’ll tell you when you’re in a different headspace.” Tamira winked at Briana. With one last wave at Veronica, she closed the door to her apartment.
Veronica didn’t let go of Briana all the way down to the car. She even sat Briana in the back seat and put Briana’s seatbelt on for her. All the attention felt great, her bad afternoon was a faded memory at this point.
It wasn’t until Veronica got in the driver’s seat that Briana looked around and realized they were parked right on the dorm lawn. She giggled, Mom was being naughty! The drive home was quiet, with soft music playing. Briana dozed off, and came to with Veronica unbuckling her in their driveway.
Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she followed Veronica not back to her own room as she expected, but to Veronica’s room. Jane was there too, looking concerned. Briana got a big hug from Jane as well, so she wasn’t worried about being in trouble. Well, not too worried.
“Do you feel up to telling us what happened, sweetie?” Veronica asked.
“I had an accident.” Briana said, with a downcast sigh.
“That’s okay, it happens. You seem very little though, and Tamira said you were little when you got to her place. You’re normally a big girl at school.”
“Oh, I was little all day.” Briana said, with a confident nod. She realized it was true, though she didn’t know during the project with Hakam.
“Really?” Jane asked, “Was that the first time?”
“No, um, I think it happened before, but I didn’t know.”
“How did you know this time?” Veronica asked.
“I didn’t really, until I had the accident and got to Tamira’s.” Briana said. “But then I remembered doing my project with Hakam, and it was really hard to do. So I drew kitties instead.”
Jane and Veronica exchanged a look. That wasn’t the good kind of look. Briana felt worry creep in again.
“Am I in trouble?”
“No, little one.” Jane said, hoisting Briana up and sitting her on the bed. “We’re just trying to figure something out. Thank you for being honest and telling us what happened.”
“Okay.’ Briana nodded.
“Briana, I think it’s a good idea for you to take a break from school. How does that make you feel?” Veronica asked.
“Uh, okay I guess.” Briana said cautiously. “I mean, I like going to school, there’s pretty leaves, and cool birds, and Gary is there. Oh, and Tamira and Arthur now too.”
“And if you could still see them, but didn’t go to your classes, how would that be?”
“Really?!” Briana grinned. “Those are really hard, a break from just those would be okay.”
Veronica looked at Jane and nodded. Jane nodded back. Briana watched their faces, but it didn’t seem like she was in trouble. Reassured of the important stuff, she snuggled up to Jane.
“I’ll make a call right now.” Veronica said. “It’s well before five, the offices are still open.”
“I’ll let the housemates know and see who’s up for some extra sitting.” Jane said.
“Thanks love.” Veronica said. She hesitated, and what was more weird, had a nervous expression. Mom was never nervous.
“It might not be a bad time to start up… you know. If that’s something you’re still okay with.” Veronica said.
“I know you’ve really wanted to do it.” Jane said. “I’m here to support you, love.”
“It might cause permanent changes, you’re really sure…”
“I love you.” Jane said. “The you that is, at whatever moment is happening. We’re both going to change our whole lives. If this is something you want, go for it.”
Veronica smiled radiantly. She touched Jane wordlessly on the cheek. It was the softest Briana had ever seen her, except those times when Mom had been helping her out of some big sad time.
In a moment, the softness was gone, replaced by Mom’s usual strength. Briana squirmed into Jane’s lap while Veronica dug around in her bedside table and decisively swallowed a couple of pills from a bottle there.
“Hello, this is Veronica.” Mom said into her phone. “I’d like to speak to Susan Hayes please. Mmm hmm, that’s the one, the head registrar.”
Mom tapped her foot on the floor, listening. “I know you can’t normally call up there, but I’m not at my office right now and I don’t have her direct number on my personal phone. Please dial her and tell her that Veronica is calling. She will pick up, I assure you.”
More waiting, though it wasn’t boring. She hadn’t snuggled with Dad in a long time. Briana tucked her head on Jane’s collarbone. Dad’s arms wrapped around her, firm and comforting in a way that nobody else could quite do.
“Susan, hi!” Mom chuckled. “Yes, I’m sure I gave the poor receptionist anxiety, I’m sorry, but I needed to talk to you before you got off work. I need you to process a hardship withdrawal for a student.”
Mom rolled her eyes. “Yes, I know it’s past that point in the quarter, that’s why it’s a hardship withdrawal. I’ll send the paperwork over tomorrow morning. Hmm? Oh, her name is Briana. Student number 9234782.”
Mom smiled, finally. “Thank you Susan, I knew I could count on you. Please say hi to your husband for me.”
A few more pleasantries, and the phone call was done. Briana reached her arms out toward Mom, and was delighted to have her come right over.
“Was that about my school?”
“Yes sweetie, your break is all set up. You won’t be going over there every day anymore, but we’ll make sure you get to see your friends, okay?”
Briana nodded.
“You’ve had a rough day, I hear.” Dad said. “Let’s get you into bed for a nap.”
“Can I have a story?” Briana asked, looking up at Dad with her best, cutest puppy dog eyes.
“Of course you can, kiddo. Hop up now.” Dad patted Briana’s diapered bum. “Looks like you need a change too.”
“Okay, but I still get a story, right?” Briana asked.
“As long as you hurry.”
Briana squeaked, and ran straight to her room!