Briana wiggled in bed the following morning. She tried to put off inspecting her pullup, but it was no use. She could already feel the swollen padding between her legs. Worst night yet; the pullup had barely been able to catch it all.
She sat up and frowned at the floor. Going directly to see Veronica didn’t seem as reasonable as it had been yesterday. She had gone to bed in a cute blue pajama set, so modesty wasn’t too big a problem. Or rather it wasn’t a problem other than for the pullup.
“I have to get this solved.” Briana thought as the pullup squished clammy and damp around her crotch. “Veronica doesn’t have to do this for me, I should do whatever makes it easiest for her.”
She slipped out of her room and took in the buzz of her roommates downstairs. As usual, she was the last to rise. Knocking lightly on Veronica’s door didn’t get a response. The prospect of standing in the hall in a soggy pullup gave her the courage to enter without permission. Veronica wasn’t in her office, but there was a note.
Briana – If you’re here and I’m not, I’m down at breakfast. Please text me and I’ll come right up so you don’t have to come downstairs.
Minutes after texting, Veronica arrived with Erin in tow. “Good morning Briana.” She said.
“I thought it was going to be the two of us.” Briana said.
“If you don’t mind I was going to take your vitals.” Erin said. “That way if anything is way off we can do something about it, or at least research.”
“Oh, okay.” Briana sat at Erin’s direction, wiggling a bit as the soggy pullup made its presence known again. Erin was quick and professional, taking down notes as she measured Briana’s blood pressure, heart rate, and listened to her lungs. So much so that she dropped her pajama bottoms to her ankles when Erin asked without thinking about it.
“This looks pretty full.” Erin said, gently prodding Briana’s pullup. “Has it been like this every morning?”
Briana flinched back. “Uh, no, not every morning. I didn’t have the problem at all on Monday. And this is um, I guess the most it’s been so far.”
“Thanks.” Erin smiled. “That’s all I need right now. I’ll come check each morning and see if there’s a pattern.”
“Oh uh…” Briana began.
“In that case it’s my turn. Go ahead and sit back down.” Veronica said. “Please leave your pajamas as they are.” She waved briefly to Erin as the other woman left.
“Why?” Briana hesitated, reluctantly taking a seat before Veronica answered.
“My initial guess is that there’s a lot going on for you subconsciously that’s causing this.” Veronica said. “I want to pull the issue into your conscious so that we can examine it and fix it.”
Briana licked her lips and fidgeted.. She felt weird, embarrassed and uncomfortable. There was more too, a nervous, guilty feeling. The pullup was very distracting, the sensation of it kept intruding on her thoughts.
“Is this something that’s been a problem for you before?” Veronica asked.
“No, not since I was really little.” Briana sighed. “It happened all of a sudden, and it’s getting worse really fast.”
“When would you say it started? When was the first time you were incontinent at night?”
Briana blushed at the word ‘incontinent’. “Uh, three weeks ago.”
“What was going on for you around that time?”
“I had a really bad day the day before. My advisor lost his grant, and I’d been out of a job for a while. I tried participating in a paid study, but the payout was really bad. The day after they paid me I woke up uh, you know.”
“You don’t have any contact with your family, correct?”
“Yeah. I uh, don’t have anyone to rely on.” Briana looked down. “I want to thank you for helping me out. I know I’m not contributing right now, but so far nothing I’ve applied for is getting back to me.”
“Of course, of course.” Veronica smiled kindly. “The picture that I’m seeing is that you have a lot of stress about your situation. Would you say you’re feeling financial, housing, maybe even food insecurity?”
“Yes.” Briana said in a small voice. “I don’t know how long you can keep helping me but obviously not forever. I don’t have any alternatives right now.”
“Well first, please, don’t worry about accepting my help, and the help of the rest of us in the house.” Veronica leaned over and squeezed Briana’s arm. “My situation is that I’m very lucky financially and it’s not a problem for me to help you out. I want to try to reduce your stress in that area.”
“Thank you.” Briana smiled sadly. There was some relief from hearing that, but more guilt piled on too.
“Stress can do terrible things to a body.” Veronica said. “Temporary incontinence is actually a mild consequence for extreme stress, though I’m sure it doesn’t feel mild to you.”
“That makes sense,” Briana said, more to convince herself than because she believed it. She shifted in the chair, winced as she felt wetness on the seat. The pullup really was at its limit, her squirming was making it leak.
“I want to reduce your stress, especially before you get more, nastier symptoms.” Veronica said. “I think the biggest problem is the lack of a support network. Most people have a family to turn to, and you don’t have that right now. We aren’t the same thing as family, but the rest of us in the house are willing to help you. Will you let us be your support system?”
“You already are.” Briana said. “Everyone has been really nice, and supportive.”
“In a friend way.” Veronica said. “We can support you more, but it means a greater intrusion into your life. The level of support and interference that a family would have.”
“I can’t ask that of you.” Briana said. “Everybody has their own life to live, stuff going on. We’re all busy with grad school, and everyone but me has a job on top of that.”
“That’s why it would be spread out over the five of us.” Veronica said. “We can all pick an area of your life to help support you. That way, it’s not too much for anyone. If it does become a problem, I’ll make sure that we all feel comfortable talking about that.”
“I don’t really understand. What do you mean ‘pick an area of my life’?” Briana frowned. “I’m doing okay other than the job. I’m getting my schoolwork done, I made it this far.”
“Of course.” Veronica nodded. “I’ve always been really impressed by you. You got through undergraduate with no support at all, and from what you’ve told me, that was pretty much true of high school too. You’ve done a tremendous job with no one to lean on. But when I look at you the last few weeks, you’re exhausted. Emotionally, physically.”
Briana hung her head, tears dripping onto her thighs.
“You need someone to lean on, for a little while.” Veronica said. “Isn’t that right?”
Briana could only manage to nod while she held back a sob. Veronica took Briana’s hands, and pulled her to her feet. Veronica pulled her closer, Briana pulled back in hesitation.
“You need the emotional support of a family member.” Veronica said gently. “Come here.”
Briana’s heart thudded and her stomach twisted. She was a whirlwind of emotions. Shame, rage, sorrow, relief, joy all warred in her. Eventually the numbness of exhaustion flattened the storm out. She let Veronica pull her forward, gingerly sitting in her roommate’s lap. Veronica’s arms closed tightly around Briana. A seal had been broken; Briana clung to Veronica. Tears flowed down her cheek but she wasn’t sobbing. There was more relief than anything. Relief, and warmth in her pullup. With a gulp she clamped her muscles down, glad that the flow had been a mere trickle. The shock did help her stop crying, she wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of her pajamas.
“A little better?” Veronica asked, stroking Briana’s hair.
“Yes. Thank you. This is all… I don’t know how I can thank you.”
“This is something I’m offering, happily.” Veronica said. “In order for this to be effective for more than this morning, I’m offering to take over keeping track of your schedule too.”
“What?” Briana asked, confused. “You mean my classes and stuff? I can do that fine.”
“Under ordinary circumstances, of course you can.” Veronica said, holding Briana firmly around the waist. “But your stress level isn’t going to go down if you have to do everything on your own. So what I want to do is go over your schedule. You’ll check in with me when you go to class and get back. I’ll make sure that nothing is missed, and that you can relax a little. Let things go, knowing you have a backup.”
“So you’ll basically be my mom?” Briana said, giggling nervously.
“A small part of one, in a way.” Veronica said. “You never really got to lean on an adult that did that for you. Right now I think you need it.”
“I don’t know.” Briana said reluctantly. It was hard to protest it too much when she was cradled on Veronica’s lap. She didn’t want the embrace to end either.
“You don’t have to accept.” Veronica said. “But I think your stress will stay, or get worse if you don’t put some of your burden on someone else.”
“I guess we could try it.” Briana said in a small voice.
“Good.” Veronica squeezed Briana. “Now, here’s my plan. I’ll handle your schedule. Erin will make sure you’re taking care of yourself physically. Suzie will make sure you’re leaving yourself time for entertainment and relaxation. Jane will keep track of your contributions to the household. Casey will look after you when you’re out of the house.”
“Woah, wait!” Briana struggled to face Veronica, still held tightly in the hug.
“Everyone is going to take a small piece, remember?” Veronica said. “You were right, it’s too much for any one person to handle. But together we can support you until you can overcome the stress.”
“It’s… that’s a lot.” Briana frowned.
“A lot like having parents watch out for you.” Veronica said. “It will feel invasive at first because you’ve never really had it. But I think you’ll enjoy the support more than you think.”
Briana bit her lip and considered. She was exhausted a lot of the time, there was no denying it. She’d put it up to simple unemployment blues. “Is it really that bad? Everyone is acting like it is. I guess I did start wetting the bed out of nowhere. Maybe I can try it.”
“Okay.” Briana took a deep breath. “I can try. It’s hard for me to imagine.”
“Good!” Veronica smiled. “We’ll help you. The last thing we need to talk about is one form that help might take. In order for us to help you this way, we need to be able to impose consequences.”
“Like what?”
“Depends on where you fall short, if you do.” Veronica said. “It could be grounding you, or taking away your phone for a bit. For something minor it could be a quick swat on your bottom.”
“This is going too far.” Briana struggled against Veronica’s arms, in earnest this time. Veronica released her, and Briana hopped to her feet. “You are seriously talking about spanking me!?”
“The important thing is that it’s a consequence that impresses itself on you.” Veronica continued in a calm voice. “You’re right that all this structure is foreign to you. For you to really rely on it, on an instinctual level, you need to accept us as an authority in your life. Otherwise you’ll never be able to really relax and trust us.”
“I don’t think that getting a spanking is going to make me trust anyone.” Briana folded her arms.
“You don’t think so?” Veronica said. “You’ve trusted me a lot so far, and I gave you a pretty good swat during your fashion show.”
“That’s different!” Briana flushed. “That was playing around!”
“So is this.” Veronica said. “You can end it any time you want to opt out. It’ll end naturally when you regain control at night. It’s designed to provoke an emotional response that will reach your subconscious. If your problem was rational we could talk it out, but I think you know it isn’t rational.”
“I guess.” Briana wrung her hands. “Are you basing all this on uh, data? Clinical studies?”
“Actually yes.” Veronica motioned to her notes. “My thesis was on behavior modification for self improvement. There’s a lot about people that isn’t rational, and it can have huge implications. Look at the placebo effect. Sometimes you have to trick your mind to get the best outcome.”
“So it’s a spanking… placebo?” Briana sighed.
“In a way.” Veronica nodded. “And it should work even if you know why we’re doing it. Are you ready to accept our offer?”
“You’ve already talked about this with everyone?” Briana whimpered.
“Only the basics. That we would split up the work of helping you out.” Veronica said. “I’ll go over it with them in detail, but I’m sure they’ll agree. And if someone doesn’t, we’ll split out that responsibility to the rest of us. We all really care about you, and we’re willing to do a lot to help you.”
“Alright.” Briana nodded resolutely. “I’ll do it.”
“Good girl!” Veronica said, chuckling when Briana flushed. “Go get cleaned up and bring me your schedule.”
“Yes Veronica.” As she returned to her room, Briana marveled at how good that felt to say. “Someone is watching out for me now.”